Author's Note:

Welcome back!

Thanks for all the comments on the last chapter, folks.

And thanks for all of the new followers of this story!

bobbiejelly

PREVIOUSLY ON "SOOTHE":

"Did you actually ask Callie if she was 'Speaking the Vagina Monologues?" Meredith asks.

"I did," Addison laughs. "And then I said I was 'all for it,' after," Addison laughs with Meredith.

"Was that like, your 'coming out' line, but not?" Meredith asks Addison, curiously.

"Probably, or at least I wanted to test the waters with Callie, we were close, we still are," says Addison.

"Is Callie cool with you liking women?" Meredith asks Addison, then says, "and other friends?"

"I don't know if she knows, but it would be hypocritical for her not to be, right?" Addison laughs.

"Probably," Meredith laughs. Addison adds right away that "Naomi knew already, anyway."

"When did you come out to Naomi?" Meredith asks Addison. "College?" Addison shrugs.

"Why did you not come out in Seattle?" Meredith asks Addison. "Why didn't you?" Addison counters.

"I was married to a man anyway," Addison shrugs. "I dated the same man," Meredith shrugs back. And they both giggle again at the irony of that statement. "So we both came out and dumped the same man, Derek, but not necessarily in that order?" Mer asks, and Addie laughs.

END OF FLASHBACK SEQUENCE.

Soothe

In Which Meredith teaches Addison how to self-soothe.

Before Meredith married Derek, and After she'd almost told Addison she liked her.

F/F. Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery. MerAdd. Meddison. GA/PP Fanfiction.

Set during GA - "Before After/An Honest Mistake & PP - Acceptance/Ex-Life. Rated M.

Inspired by "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" by lespians, "Blame Game" by LordOfLezzies, "All We Ever Are We Are" by SilverStarsAndMoons and "I'll Feel Better When The Headaches Go Away" by StepIsInsanity.

Chapter 20: Faux?

If everyone thinks you're dating and you don't tell them you're not, does that make you actually dating already?

1

The return from the Archfield to Seattle Grace Hospital is smoother than anticipated. At least the driving part is, at least. There are no mass casualties on the road. No detours or broken taillights. Nothing out of the ordinary, which, in Meredith Grey's is could be considered pretty damn ordinary, to tell the truth. Meredith sighs contentedly as they arrive at work in one piece.

"Well that was easy," Meredith comments as she tips the cab driver. "Yeah?" Addison shrugs until Meredith explains that when she's having a crisis, usually she ends up with something 'really really bad happening,' also, just to make it all worse. "Well, I guess you're right it's nice that neither of us drowned on our way to work today," Addison smiles. "Don't jinx it, Addison," Meredith grins.

As it turns out, the crisis had been yet to come, at the hospital, for them. Not a worms-in-the-brain-related medical crisis, luckily, though. As Meredith finds out as she immediately follows Addison to Archer Montgomery's room and knocks on the door before bursting in while Addison waits around the corner. "Morning!" Meredith says as she watches Archer groan out in protest while Naomi Bennett, Archer's girlfriend/Addison's best friend, does, too.

"SERIOUSLY!?" Meredith huffs as she watches Archer lick his fingers after taking them out of Naomi's pants. "We'll be finished in-" Archer begins as Naomi glares at her boyfriend, and Meredith slams the door on both of them, immediately. "PAGE ME WHEN YOU ARE BOTH FULLY CLOTHED!" Meredith yells from outside the door, and then, she shoots Addison a sympathetic grimace.

"Thanks, Meredith, seriously I probably definitely would have gone blind," Addison groans out. "Yeah. probably. You don't wanna know," Meredith says, gesturing to Archer's room that he apparently shares with Naomi. Addison agrees, and then Meredith finally gets a page from Archer that he's prepared for company. "Hey, sis," Archer says, grinning up at Addison.

"Hey, Archie, Nai," Addison says to her brother and best friend, both of whom are now presentable as they sit separately, Archer on his hospital bed and Naomi on a chair. Addison takes the chair opposite Archer and motions for Meredith to join them, and Meredith does. "So, little sis, I hear you have a new girlfriend, Meredith," Archer says to Addison, seriously. And Addison and Meredith's jaws both drop right to the floor.

2

"What?" Addison and Meredith exclaim in tandem and look at each other in shock. Naomi speaks up next and explains that Derek Shepherd has been by already and has told them that Meredith left him for his own ex-wife and that he's trying to be the 'bigger person,' and forgiving and all. Meredith and Addison's eyes widen at the story, as they realize Derek's nasty rumor plan.

"Could we have a minute?" Addison says to Archer and Naomi as she gestures for Meredith to follow her into the hallway and Meredith follows, equally stunned. This only seems to prove Derek's point further to Addison's brother and best friend, but Meredith doesn't say that she just waits for Addison to start talking with her. "I'm sorry, about Derek I didn't think he'd do this," Addison says.

"Me neither, though to his credit it's a pretty brilliant rumor because it makes him look good and it makes us both look super slutty," Meredith winces, and Addison sighs as she sees Meredith's beaten-down expression. "That man should never have gotten to call you a whore again," Addison rolls her eyes at the non-present Derek as Meredith says to Addison, "you either, you know…".

Meredith spies Archer and Naomi giggling together and pointing at them from the other side of the window and points this out to Addison. "They're laughing," Meredith groans. "They're always laughing at me, or Archer always was because he's my big brother, and Naomi teases me because she's my best friend, and now they tease me together, as a couple," Addison sighs.

"That's the worst. I can't imagine that, I guess I didn't grow up with my sisters, I mean I didn't grow up with Lexie Grey and I only talked to Molly Grey once, but I wouldn't want either of them to make fun of me with Cristina, dating or not dating," Meredith explains, "It sucks they're ganging up on you like that," Meredith says empathetically. "Thanks, Meredith," says Addison.

"At least they're both smiling at us," Addison points out. "Umm, is your brother giving us a dirty look?" Meredith gestures with her head. "Oh, you're right. Archer is thinking dirty things about lesbians, which would be weird except now he's thinking them about me, and also you, and I guess 'me and you,' and that's weird and Naomi is also thinking it too and that's weird," Addison rants.

3

"What are we going to do about all this?" Meredith asks Addison quickly, knowing they don't have all the time in the world. "Well, we could either set the record straight-" Addison begins before Meredith bursts out laughing at Addison's unintentional pun. "Right, somehow I don't think that'll go well seeing as I shoved my ex-girlfriend in Derek's face," Meredith sighs heavily.

"Or we could, not," Addison shrugs, and looks up at Meredith. Meredith looks at Addison in surprise as Addison has an unreadable expression. "Not what?" Meredith asks again. "Not 'set the record straight,' and just go with it," Addison explains. "What, and do what?" Meredith presses on, cheeks reddening. "We could put on a show, and play pretend," Addison shrugs.

"So, basically, so we're not giving Derek and also Archer and Naomi the satisfaction of succumbing to Derek's nasty rumors about us becoming lesbians together, we could pretend to become lesbians together, for show?" Meredith clarifies. "Well, yeah. I mean it's already set up for us, we went to Joe's together, you slept over, and we have dinner," Addison summarizes.

"So we basically just tell everyone the truth and let them attribute a dirty meaning if they so choose to?" Meredith deadpans. "Well, I don't think it's necessarily a 'dirty,' thing, but yeah I guess," Addison shrugs. "What do you mean?" Meredith says. "Well, you broke up with Derek last night, so if we had hypothetically hooked up after, I wouldn't be your dirty mistress," says Addison.

"But people are probably going to think stuff hypothetically happened the night before, after Joe's, and through that day we watched TV together and had chocolate moose, and I had not talked to Derek at all that day, so he's probably telling everyone I had an affair with you, which makes me twice over an adulterous whore and you the slutty McSatan," Meredith groans out.

"Why is this so funny?" Meredith says when Addison bursts out laughing. "It's just funny because in mine-yours-and-Derek's love triangle the first time you were the dirty mistress, and in this hypothetical rumor, this time I could be the dirty mistress, and at one point Derek was the dirty mister, and when we factor in Mark and George we get like, a pentagon," Addison laughs.

4

"Oh, God, please don't remind me about the 'me and George,' thing" Meredith winces. "Sorry, I guess he's to you, basically what Mark was to me, just someone who was in love with you when you needed it," Addison sighs. "You knew George was in love with me, then?" Meredith says rather astonishedly. "I was with him and Bailey when we got the news your hand was on a bomb at that time. George freaked out," Addison says.

"Did Bailey freak out?" Meredith asks. "Bailey was in labor, and her husband was with my then-husband, so she was freaking out anyway, but yeah she was worried about you, too," Addison articulates. "Were you… Did you worry about me?" Meredith asks Addison eventually in a vulnerable tone. Meredith knows she's going to find out either way, but she's really nervous.

"Yeah, I freaked out and yelled at George a bit. It wasn't one of my finest moments," Addison finally admits to Meredith. "How did George take it?" Meredith asks. "Like a champ. He really pulled through for Bailey, and he was grounding for me, too," Addison says. "Yeah, George is a good guy," Meredith smiles, and Addison says that he is, too. "Sucks Callie left him for a woman," Addison says.

"To be fair, George also slept with a blonde girl, Izzie, behind Callie's back, so they're kind of even," Meredith sighs. "Why is all of this relationship stuff, why does it all come down to 'getting even' with someone?" Addison sighs. "I have no idea," Meredith sighs also, as they contemplate their next move. "So what do you want to do?" Addison asks Meredith tenderly and Meredith swoons.

"You're just so damn nice to me," Meredith bursts out, and Addison gives her a hug. "You're the one who's been soothing me for the past week," Addison says, nuzzling her chin into Meredith's head. "You know, you deserve so much more than relationships that are just about getting even," Meredith says, trying not to insinuate herself into that last sentence too hard for Addison.

"So do you, Grey. So do you. The last time I lived here, I told Derek never to hurt you again. And he did. And then I came back to Seattle and said 'hey,' and he was with Rose and you were letting him get away so I made a big deal to Derek about you, and I told you to take him back and I'm sorry if that made you both hurt more, especially you, Meredith, I'm sorry," says Addison.

5

"You tried to be my wingman for your own damn ex-husband. Three times! That's really fucking nice," Meredith swears as she tries to convey how much it meant that Addison wanted her to be happy even when she had every reason to hate her but never ever seemed to. "You- You were always a better person than I was, I should have stepped aside, I should have, I should have…"

"A lot of things, I know. Me too, a lot of things," Meredith catches it and finishes Addison's sentence as well as her own. Meredith is just repeating what they both said at the bar the other night, but this time Addison tells her they've actually had that conversation three times now. "The first time I said that to you, and you said that back, you were on morphine," Addison admits.

"I only vaguely remember that," Meredith says. "I also vaguely that I talked to Mark, then, and called him McSteamy," Meredith also laughs. "I know this is very selfish, but I'm saying it in a not-selfish way I promise, now, because I do care about you…" Addison begins. "I'm really glad you never ended up pregnant with Derek's adulterous love-child," Addison nods at Meredith.

"Yeah, me too. Especially now, when you left him for good and I left him for good and he's spreading hateful things about both of us," Meredith says with a bite directed at Derek who is still not present. "It doesn't have to be hateful. I don't hate you, Meredith. And I don't consider the idea of dating you a terrible thing," Addison offers. "I don't hate you either, Addison, and-"

Meredith realizes halfway through her sentence that Addison just said that dating HER would be less than terrible. ('Holy shit, does she or could she maybe even want me back like that?' Meredith thinks to herself). "I don't consider the idea of dating you a terrible thing either," Meredith finally offers. Addison smiles at this. Meredith smiles even wider at this.

And then both of them are beaming at each other outside of Archer Montgomery's room that also contains Naomi Bennett and in the middle of the hallway of Seattle Grace Hospital. "So, what do you say about us pretend-dating?" Addison offers. "You would?" Meredith is still surprised. "Sure, of course," Addison says. "Are you doing this just for Derek?" Meredith says. "No," says Addison. "I would be doing this only for you," Addison confirms.

6

"You would fake date me just to help me?" Meredith squints at Addison, now. "Yeah," Addison shugs, and Meredith smiles. "That's the nicest thing ever," Meredith says in a squeaky voice, and then realizes her voice is all squeaky and she's nervous again. "What are the rules here?" Meredith says, accepting the proposition but wanting them to have a good talk, first.

"Well, do you have any rules you want?" Addison offers first. "I won't take advantage of you," Meredith blurts out. "Like, I won't get you drunk and take all your clothes off," Meredith explains right away. "I won't either," Addison says back, and Meredith instantly tries not to imagine Addison taking all her clothes off, sober or not at all sober, hypothetically speaking…

"I won't try to sleep with you either, like sober, unless, well, I just won't, because we're pretending," Meredith finally says shyly as she looks away from Addison a second. "Okay, well, I'll also do my best not to let you get me naked if you're going to feel bad about it," Addison chuckles, and Meredith's eyes widen again. "What, you just don't want me to feel guilty?" Meredith exclaims.

"Well, yeah, because you seem to really think that you'd be the one taking advantage of me, which I still find hilarious seeing as I'm a decade older than you, I was your boss for at least a year once, and I'm still an Attending and you're still a resident, alcohol or no alcohol," Addison says succinctly. "See, that's why I'm saying these things because I don't want to take advantage of you, either," Addison says.

"Well, you wouldn't be taking advantage of me, because I basically hid out in your hotel room and you protected me from Derek's rage and you're still here being my friend and you'd even fake date me and you care about how I feel and it's all just a lot of good feelings and I don't know what to think about it because I would be no good for you, Addison," Meredith shrieks.

"You think that you'd be, what? Bad for me?" Addison says. "Yeah, I'm a mess," Meredith sighs. "So am I," Addison sighs too. "You kinda are," Addison says gently. "So are you," Meredith says gently back. "Addison," Meredith takes a deep breath. "I don't want to fake date you because I want to date you for real. And you live in LA," Meredith confesses. "I could move," Addison confesses too.

"You would move states to be with me?!" Meredith says to Addison in alarm. "Well, it would be more like moving back here, again, anyway," Addison clarifies and confirms.

"But why, Addison? Why would YOU want ME?!" Meredith says. "I mean, for REAL?!"

"I-, I care about you, Meredith. You're my type, as I said. I just never told you till now," says Addison. "I care about you a lot, and you're my type, and I liked you before but I never said, and I do now," says Meredith.

"So, what do we do now?" Addison asks Meredith seriously, gesturing in between the two of them.

"Wha do you want to do now?" Meredith asks, wanting Addison to be the one to make the first move.

"Ah, well, I want to kiss you, is that okay with you, Mer?" Addison asks the Grey girl, softly.

"Only if it's for real, Addie," Meredith says. "It will be, it is completely real," Addison promises, and Meredith nods.

"Kiss me, for real, then," Meredith says boldly and Addison complies. When their lips touch, then part, Meredith sighs, and Addison sighs, and it feels to them like coming home after a really long day.

"What do you think?" Meredith asks Addison softly after it's over, with fear in her eyes that Addison might reject her now after she's kissed her. "Definitely real," Addison assuages Meredith's fears as well as her own. "I'm moving back to Seattle so I can keep doing that with you every day," Addison smiles at Meredith, who smiles right back up at Addison. "I hate when Derek is right all along!" says Meredith. "I want to forget about that and just keep kissing you more," says Addison, back.

"Let's just forget about Derek and all the boys and the bars and be done with all that. Let's just be us for now, and I can just keep kissing with you," Mer says to Addie, and Addie nods at Mer willingly about just that. Meredith says "thanks, Addison, about all of that, and mostly about all the kissing, let's just keep kissing, I just want to keep kissing with you, please kiss me, Addison,". And then, they, finally kiss again, and it's finally real. It's as real as it always was between Meredith Grey and Addison Montgomery, all along, as it always had been, in the first place.

***** END OF CHAPTER TWENTY

Author's Note 2:

So, the whole Archer-and-Naomi thing was never really fleshed out on the show so I thought I'd add that in here. I realize I'm not portraying Naomi as a great best friend at all times, apologies fictional Naomi. Sorry! I don't think she's actually that bad it was just a plot device in this one.

SO THEY KISSED FOR REAL! Happy? Did you like it?!

The story could end here, but I do have a few more small plot points that I'd like to insert before this one is closed completely.

Let me know what you thought of all of this slow-burn resolution so far. And let me know if you're interested in a few epilogue chapters. Were you expecting this plotline? Yes or no?

It's been done before, most notably in "I think I'm growing into (someone you could trust)" By StepIsInsanity. With a sort of different conclusion and premise though so I hope this worked out.

This one, I think I always wanted a happy ending for, and I was tempted to write it as an affair at first, but I wanted it to be about correcting the past and developing good habits and coping strategies.

So therefore, a lot happened in between then and we got the highest-ranked chapter 'standoff, crossfire,' out of it and I never expected to write that in the beginning.

Thanks so much to everyone who has picked up this story since it's inception. I think this is one of my better pieces and I hope this chapter has added positively to your experience.

The title and theme of this chapter is inspired by "Faux," by DeadlyViperAssassinxElleDriver on Fanfiction, and Orange Is The New Black, Alex Vause/Piper Chapman, story.

SEE YOU AROUND! AND THE NEXT PART WILL COME FASTER WITH KIND WORDS. YAY!

bobbiejelly

Dedications for June 8, 2020, on Chapter 20:

Ao3:

earsdimples, Kristin_Aubrie, Lydialyn, EmyLilas, TheNetflixGal, for commenting on this already.

Poco_piano,earsdimples, Darkmatter2001,TheNetflixGal, CPDLS, seattlerain879, I_dont_have_time_for_this, Davedemoneon, lydialyn, Kristin_Aubrie, EmyLilas, tisziny, oliviajames, Hotgitay, and Arissen as well as 9 guests left kudos on this work! Also AddisonAddek, LordOfLezzies, and addiesbaby for being around a bunch.

Subscriptions: 5 Hits: 580 Kudos: 24 Comment Threads: 14 Bookmarks: 0

Fanfiction:

No Reviews so far :(. erindanielsx, faith3558, kaipulani, for the Favorites. Kaipulani for the Follow. 1297 Hits.

Wattpad:

steationsurrea, new_being, blackjackthings, itslexipedia, naylorholby, danielaperezsurga, grapesanatomyedits, addiesrep, for commenting and helping me through this process.

Ana_The_Heda who messaged me about 'being addicted to Soothe' which made my entire day. And outlawqueenpercabeth, Eleven_256 who always follows along with the stars!

943 Reads, 135 Stars, 174 Comments, the many people who added this to their readings lists...

This work is really popular here and there was a record-breaking 9 votes on Chapter 15!

Thanks to all the others who I do not know by name :D… Hope to meet you someday in the Reviews!

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

And of course, other recently updated MerADD stuff to read while you wait for another update:

Bubble

Addison Forbes Montgomery is trapped for 28 days with only Meredith Grey in her house in Seattle. Will they stay enemies? Will they become friends? Will they become 'more than friends'?

Loosely Based on Current Events. MerAdd. Meddison. F/F. Addison Montgomery/Meredith Grey. Rated E for Explicit. Spoilers through GA-S16-E21, PP-S6-E13 (aka now). Fluff, Humor, Romance.

Love The Way You Lie

Derek Shepherd, your husband, hits you- but you stayed until you couldn't stand up anymore. Your best friend Mark Sloan helped you leave him and you two had some adulterous sex. When you see Derek again in Seattle with another woman, all you want is to save her from him. You didn't mean to fall in love with her. She wasn't supposed to fall in love with you, either. But you both did, anyway.

-Addison Forbes Montgomery, for Meredith Grey

MerAdd. Meddison. F/F. Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery. Rated E for Explicit. Grey's Anatomy & Private Practice Crossover.

CW: Domestic Violence. Unhealthy Relationships - Physically & Emotionally Abusive Addek & MerDer. Also briefly okay (non-abusive), Maddison & Mark/Derek.

*This story is entirely fictional. Please seek professional help for abusive relationships in yourself and others. Take all abuse seriously.*

Second Person (The Diary of Addison Montgomery)

You're 'in love' again.

-Addison Montgomery.

As written to herself in her personal diary.

Falling Apart, Barely Breathing

In Which Addison meets Meredith in a bar. Things spiral from there. This is the story about what might have happened after Meredith asks Derek to "Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me" but before he decides to do anything about it, and after SHE decides to do something about it.

(Oh, and if you wanted to read more about "Addison Montgomery in Handcuffs via Meredith Grey", check out RED is the new BLACK. )

So rest easy, folks, while you wait for the next Chapter of "Soothe".

THANKS FOR READING "SOOTHE," SPEAK WITH ME IN THE COMMENTS? PLEASE :D

Author's Note 3:

Well, that's all for now, folks, unfortunately, I must say.

Thanks of course for reading, I will chat with you soon in the comments.

Much love and yours, truly,

bobbiejelly

bobbiejelly