Lol chiz

*Brrr*

*Brrr*

*Brrr**

*Br- click*

"...Yagami?"

It was four in the morning for Chizuru Kagura. She had been awakened by her cellphone's persistent buzzing, and - as grumpy as she was - took the call. One didn't become the CEO of the largest pharmaceutical enterprise by not taking calls. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and accidentally kicked husband in the gut as she violently hurled herself at her bedside table to catch the call before it went to voicemail.

Husband groaned. Chizuru ignored him (per usual). Iori had called her 'important' phone, and Chizuru needed to make sure he wasn't going to try and kill himself.

"Hello? Yagami? Are you alright?"

There was scrabbling and yelling across the line, but no gunshots or explosions. Did Iori call her for something stupid again? Recently he'd been doing that more and more often. The catalyst for this undesirable behavior seemed to be Rock Howard's recent obsession with spirituality and pseudoscience. Chizuru just hoped this was an actual emergency, otherwise-

*Kagura! What the hell does it mean to be Acidic? It doesn't exist, right? (Kagura's a doctor - or something, if she says it doesn't exist- then it doesn't. Okay, Howard?)*

Chizuru grimaced and slumped back into her pillow. She made a pained expression as she held the phone to her ear and listened to her pet hellhound fight with his pet American. She didn't normally get much sleep - and to have her few precious hours interrupted by Iori's dieting concerns - was beginning to make her angry. She fumed tiredly as she stared at the dark ceiling.

*(-No! I'm not going to go vegan! Being acidic doesn't exist - and It absolutely doesn't affect my mood and make me 'abrasive'... What?! of course not! Everyone loves me!) Kagura! Tell Rock that I don't need to give up meat! You're on speaker! Thanks!*

Iori clearly expected her to parrot whatever he said, and thereby conclude his little argument with his employee. Unfortunately, Chizuru was pissed off. Chizuru also wasn't a doctor. Chizuru also didn't approve of Iori's diet - which was composed entirely of meat, and primarily of frozen bacon - eaten raw.

Chizuru switched to English so Rock Howard could understand her. Maybe screwing around with him would discourage Iori from bothering her with this sort of nonsense in the future.

"... normally people don't have acidic blood, Gammy. Maybe eating less meat will help with that. It's very possible it'll help to raise your pH levels. You know what I think of your diet! You ca-"

Noise from across the line. Chizuru could make out Rock Howard's voice saying something rather triumphantly and the two of them argued for a short moment, before the phone was snatched up - and Iori began whining at her in Japanese. Little brat.

*Kagura! What the hell was that?! He's throwing away all my bacon! Are you trying to kill me? I can't live off that green shit?!*

"Gammy, every single doctor who has ever seen you has said you can't only eat meat. Don't you come to me and try and make me defend your terrible health choices! I have some morals too. Why don't I assign one of my nutritionists to you an-"

That made him mad. When Iori got mad, normally he cut somebody's head off. When he got mad at her, he fell into an annoying whine.

*No, Chiz! Just do me this one favor, okay? Just this one time, tell him that (Ack! Howaaard! You little shit, that's filet mignon! Don't you dare trash it- Get. Back. Here!)*

*Click*

Phew.

Although her night had been interrupted, she felt rather accomplished - as she didn't anticipate Iori calling her for this sort of nonsense anymore. It had been getting terribly annoying. Chizuru tossed her cellphone back onto the bedside table, and rolled over to return to her restful sleep.

Yag can't handle Vegan Rock