Chapter 19: To Friendship:
Hotaru and Jane appeared on the Helicarrier's deck, holding on tight to Thor to maintain their balance. To their surprise, the whole team was already there to greet them. Even Hermione, Darcy and Selvig were present.
"I didn't know you would miss us so bad." Hotaru said sarcastically.
"Oh, just cut through the bullshit, Imai!" Clint smirked. "Did you make it or not?"
"We did, Barton. Who do you think we are?"
Luca smirked at his friend's arrogance and rolled his eyes when Tony shamelessly winked flirtatiously at her.
"Well, that's good news." Hermione nodded. "It took us some time but, thanks to Harry's Tracking Spell, we were also able to retrace the galaxy Mikan and Loki are hiding in. You deem yourselves ready, call me so you can come along with us to the Ministry of Magic."
Mikan sighed, greatly annoyed. When she had taken the initiative to teach Loki how to play poker, she hadn't expected him to beat her so easily at it. They were at their third round and she already owed him two forfeits. She was simply too scared to ask him what he had in store for her.
"What about a walk?" Loki suddenly proposed as he posed the deck of cards on top of the counter. "Your competition is hardly a challenge."
Mikan nodded and brushed off the insult, all too glad to avoid another crushing defeat.
Loki casually climbed the stairs of the three floors mansion, closely followed by Mikan whose curiosity had been tickled. The young woman took the opportunity to throw quick peeks at Loki's back as his noble outfit molded each of his muscles' motions, highlighting his strong features. He wore his black hair back which allowed Mikan to notice it was slightly longer than when she first met him. Little curls had started to appear on it. Mikan bit her lower lip and shook her head, thankful that he wasn't paying much to her, or rather that he pretended not to. 'We're both doing that a lot lately.' Mikan thought. Indeed, both had come to a silent agreement not to mention the events of the previous night. 'If this helps him feel better, then fine by me.'
Soon enough, Mikan realized they were heading towards the basement's rooftop. As Loki pushed the last door separating them from it, Mikan held her breath in awe. A giant glass dome protected the plants covered roof from the planet's hostile environment. The young woman was amazed by the contrast of the lifeless lands surrounding Allice's mansion, drought by the three hot suns beating down on it, and the beautiful, majestic garden on its roof.
"Magnificent." Mikan sighed, a little smile on her face. Loki only nodded to her while taking a seat on one of the terrace's banks. He positioned himself comfortably, placing an ankle on his knee. The young woman observed him for a moment. His aura was inviting. Taking in a deep breath, Mikan sat nonchalantly beside him, wondering how she hadn't found the place sooner.
"I knew you would like it." Loki stated as he studied Mikan closely. The latter indulged him a gentle smile. "You are quite generous with those." he noted, as his finger traced the contour of her lips. He frowned when he realized his thumb had reddened in the process as it had slightly wiped off Mikan's lipstick, then smirked when he noticed the similarly crimson color that had crept up her cheeks. "You blush easily too. Your mind may be well safeguarded but your body speaks for itself."
"Smiling and being pleasant doesn't cost a lot, you know? And that's because you touched me like that without any warning. Don't do that again or you might give me the wrong impression."
Loki rolled his eyes and stared at her with the same kind of look Stephen and Mordo granted her with when she would say something incredibly dense.
"What are my two forfeits?" she asked him, unsubtly trying to change the subject of their discussion as she was unwilling to let it wander in such dangerous territories.
"You will have to answer honestly to any question I'll ask you today. I will keep the other in store for another day."
"Is that it? I dreaded much worse from you." Mikan admitted with a small sigh of relief. "Fine." she gave in as she crossed her arms on her chest and tilted her head to observe the SilverTongue more attentively. "What do want to know?"
"When were you introduced to the Masters of Mystic Arts?"
A small smile curved Mikan's lips. She leaned back and rested her elbows on the back of the bench.
"Four years ago." Mikan responded, "It was a bit of a coincidence, really." She laughed softly. "I just happened to be looking out for information on Alices in Nepal when I met Master Hamir there. One thing led to another and I suddenly found myself at Kamar-Taj, meeting the Ancient One. She took me as a disciple and allowed me the access to her private library. Mordo was already there, but Stephen only joined us two years afterwards."
Loki observed Mikan silently while she spoke to him. He had noticed she wasn't a shy type of woman. Instead, she was talkative, sociable and her cheerful personality allowed her to befriend others easily. Loki still had freshly in mind the first time they met, how insouciant and reckless Mikan had behaved, for the simple reason she wanted to free him from the invisible chains partially binding his soul and mind to Thanos' will. He who she barely knew nothing about, he who she had never had any contact with beforehand, he who, one month prior to their first encounter, had killed thousands of her kind. Yes, Mikan was rather outgoing, highly optimistic and an energetic kind of person. At times very stubborn too and Loki found those qualities of her truly endearing for when they weren't the source of their arguments.
Mikan's eyes meet Loki's once again and she threw him a gentle smile. To her surprise, he responded with one of his own.
"How did you managed to convince Gamora to trust you when even I couldn't?" Loki decided to ask her next.
"Well, you can't blame her for that!" Mikan snorted. "Furthermore, she would never have told me all this information hadn't I used one of my Pheromones Alice on her."
"So, you are capable of mind-reading, perceiving peoples' auras and emotions, influencing one's hormones to render him or her more inclined to follow your orders unquestioningly and I bet this is only a slight glimpse of your talents! So, tell me darling, what is it that you do with all this power?" Loki asked, even though he had already a strong guess what her answer would be.
"It's rather simple, I don't use it. Well most of the time." Mikan admitted. "I just… it's… it just feels wrong. I feel dirty doing it."
"This has something to do with you being the captive of this organization."
Mikan's hazel eyes darkened as Loki proved once again how perceptive he was. "When Kuonji finally realized violence wouldn't convince me to do his dirty work, he changed tactics. At first, he started by using it on others to bribe me. 'Do what I say and they'll be safe.' Over time, he gradually developed and perfected a way to neutralize my Nullification." Mikan closed her eyes and clenched her fists, desperately willing herself not to cry. "He would place this horrendous amount of Corrosion Alice Stones in me and, while my body was fighting off their effects, Luna Koizumi would take over my will with her Soul-Sucking Alice. They made me do terrible things, the shame and the horror of my actions still haunt me to this day. And he enjoyed it. This sick psycho loved to inflict torture on me. He took pleasure in watching me be in excruciating pain, he only lived to see the horror on my face when his control would finally wear off." Mikan took a deep breath and unlocked her eyes from Loki's gaze to look away, focusing on the details of the landscape. "I know what it feels like to have my mind violated, to lose all hell of control over my body, Loki. How could I use such powers and still be able to look at my own reflection on the mirror?"
For the first time, the gravity of what happened to Mikan started to truly sink in in Loki's mind. From what he had comprehended, she had freed herself eight years ago. Even though this amount of time was insignificant to him, it meant a third of Mikan's life. Yet, the weight of it was so heavy on her frail shoulders she was still unable to speak about it without barely breaking down.
When Loki covered her hand with his, Mikan jolted at his cold touch but she didn't pry her hand away. Instead, Mikan allowed herself to be soothed by the caress of his thumb on her skin.
"How long did they hold you captive?"
"Four years. I've only been conscious in two of them as I was put under a long-induced coma the two others. What they did to me in these two, I don't know and probably never will. I doubt that I even want to. I am only certain of this: they experimented on me; changed some of my physical abilities, made me stronger and yet weaker as they kept pushing my body to its limits. They kept inserting Alices Stones in it, so much the energy in me kept growing until my body couldn't bear it anymore. Whether this was what caused the explosion or the Soul Stone, I don't know and I don't care. They all died in it and I survived; that's all what matters. The two years after it were a complete blur. I remember barely what I did or what happened to me. Because of Kuonji I lost nearly six years of my life."
"You blame him for stealing these years from you and yet you refused the opportunity I gave you to live longer, to make up for way more than the time you've lost. I still do not understand why." Loki admitted, confused by Mikan's reasoning.
Mikan finally met his eyes again. "I've already lived too much."
There it was, she had said it, the words had finally escaped her mouth and she despised herself for it.
Despite her being only twenty-four years old, Mikan's confession didn't feel absurd to Loki. The mismatch between her eyes and the youth her body exhibited had practically been the first thing he had noticed in Mikan. 'I've already lived too much.' He lowered his gaze to her hands. He had seen the marks when he had nursed her, but he had wrongly assumed them to be the result of another sick torture she had been subjected too. Grabbing hold of them in a strong but careful grasp, Loki rolled up her sleeves to uncover her wrists. He caressed gently her wounded skin, retracing the marks of Mikan's self-induced pain with his thumbs.
"You did not strike me as the suicidal type," he whispered.
"That's because I've changed Loki. I've tried several times when I was Kuonji's prisoner and once after the explosion that killed him. The last attempt dates from eight or seven years ago. Like I said, those two years were a complete blur, I remember them barely. Mostly because I was in too much pain to be able to." Mikan's responded in a murmur. "I hate those marks but I keep them as the reminder of how egoistic I used to be."
"Why would you say that?"
"Because of everyone's sacrifices to save me. My mom's, Rei's and Natsume's deaths."
Loki contemplated over her response, lost in the memories of his own failed attempts to end it all. Mikan placed a comforting hand on Loki's upper arm and squeezed the one she just realized he was still holding. She could feel his pain too.
"It seems that you and I have more in common than we both could have thought at first guess. We've both attempted to kill ourselves, been under the influence of a delusional psychopath and are mildly interested in Allice's work. What does it make us then?" Loki whispered faintly.
"What about we try friends?" Mikan proposed with a bright, hopeful smile.
"Friends? Oh, I ain't good with those." Loki shook his head at the idea which earned him an amused chuckle.
"My bad then, I had even my friendship offering ready for you to open!" Mikan sighed exaggeratedly.
A petite white box tied with a green ribbon appeared in her hands. She waved it in front of him, a small smirk on her face. On its side was a small note with his name written on it. It made Loki's heart clench. In a good way. Thankful and yet speechless, Loki leaned closer to caress delicately Mikan's cheek with the tips of his fingers, a cocky smile on his face. He couldn't help but be amazed by how soft her skin felt under his. Once again, Mikan didn't shy away from his touch. A soft smile even appeared on her face, almost inviting.
"Mikan, are there any men courting you in Midgard?" he suddenly asked, voice hoarse with desire, and watched as her smile faltered to be replaced by an undecipherable expression.
"No. Christine tried to set me up with a few dates but I wasn't interested." Mikan said with a small sigh. She seemed to hesitate before adding, "Is this what you're doing, Loki?"
"Since the first time we met, I never tried to hide the fact that I've wanted you." Loki remarked pointedly. "You don't seem immune to my charms either, so what's holding you back?"
Mikan could feel the blood rush to her face, her heart began to race and she grew extremely conscious of his hand still placed on hers and the one cupping her cheek. 'What's holding me back?' Loki gently lifted her chin so she wouldn't avoid his eyes and, once again, the answer to this question rang in her mind, just like every time he laid his evergreen eyes on her or when he touched her.
Only a fool would turn the handsome god's advances down. She knew that much. But she would only make a bigger one of herself if she gave in to him. She had no doubt that Loki would make sure she didn't regret it; the time they would spend together would certainly be incredible. But…
"Because I don't want to. This as simple as that." Mikan affirmed. Although Loki had the merits to keep his composure straight, she sensed that she had hurt his pride and his feelings. More than she had expected her words to.
Before he could withdraw away from her, her hand covered the one cupping her cheek and the other pressed the one that had brought her comfort earlier. "Now don't get me wrong, Loki: my attraction for you is real. But I know myself and I know that I am not ready to share that kind of relationship with you. Each time you look at me I keep reminding myself that." Mikan admitted, her voice now barely above a whisper. "I've never been with a man that way before and, like you told me that day, I am one of those people who tend to be overly sentimental. If I start anything with you, I am certain that I'll end up falling for you. I am not ready for that kind of heartbreak, Loki. That's not a compromise I am willing to make."
Something in his throat tightened. Mikan's confession seemed lubricious. She had seen him for what he truly was. It should have been enough to make anyone else run away. But, Mikan hadn't. She knew what he had done to the people of her kind, yet she had deemed him worthy of redemption. He had kidnapped her and tinkered with her mind. Still, she had decided to forgive him, even providing him with comfort and affection when she had sensed he needed to. And now she claimed herself to be able to love a monster like him. The sole idea sounded so absurd it almost left him speechless.
"You speak of love? This is madness." he whispered faintly.
"I know," acknowledged Mikan, "but it doesn't make it less true."
Then she pointed at the white box placed between them on the bench.
"My offer of friendship stands still. It'll be wiser for us not to cross that line."
Silently, Loki's hands reached for the small package and he carefully untied the green ribbon. Opening up the small box, he uncovered sweets that indeed looked like cotton candies.
"Is this how you are intending to bribe me into becoming your friend? With sweets?" Loki quirked a brow, slightly amused by Mikan's kindhearted intentions.
"You might be gifted in the mastery of words, SilverTongue, but I excel at pastries." Mikan challenged him. "These are Howalons. I made them myself. They're my favorite treat, a specialty of the Alice Academy. They have this amazing milk flavor and are as soft as a cloud. Oh, and when you eat it, there's this incredible feeling of happiness that starts running through your veins! Why don't you just try one and tell me?" she offered.
Taking the bait, Loki delicately picked one candy and brought it up to his mouth. Slowly, the dulcet taste of the confection continued to an overwhelming feeling of sweet delight. The bliss infused every cell of his body, brightened his features.
Loki had forgotten what happiness felt like, how light his chest used to feel before all this pain invaded it. His eyes grew wet. Turning away to escape from Mikan's perceptive gaze, he focused on every small details of the landscape, forbidding any tear to fall.
In the course of this meticulous action, Loki lost all track of time. So, Mikan chose to retire, conscious he needed some privacy to recollect himself.
When Loki finally left the roof of the mansion, the night blanket had covered up the day and Mikan had already regained her chambers. Sensing he needed some rest too, Loki walked toward his owns, where he traded his clothing for a shirt and a comfortable pair of trousers.
Loki sighed as he sat on the edge of his bed, contemplating the little white box on his lap. Caressing the soft material of the evergreen ribbon that was the exact same color of his eyes, Loki picked the little note which was marked by one single word. His name. He studied Mikan's careful, elegant and yet somehow childish handwriting while wondering on how long it must have taken her to prepare this, amazed by how she could have been willing to put so much heart in a present for him. 'That's just who she is.' he thought.
Loki placed carefully the box on his nightstand. He could only admit defeat on this one.
"Alright. You won, Mikan."
In the second-lowest level of the Ministry of Magic, the Golden Trio walked through the Department of Mysteries, heading straight towards the Space Chamber. They were closely followed by Luna, Jane and Hotaru.
"Mione, are you sure this is going to work?" Harry wondered once again.
"No, I am not. But we'll never find out if we don't try."
As they finally reached the door separating them from the Space Chamber, a common apprehension made them pause few seconds before turning on the handle. Pushing the door open, the two scientist and their fellow wizards remained in awe at impressive view before them. The dark room was filled with planets and galaxies floating in mid-air, creating a perfect replica of the Universe as they knew it.
"It's just wonderful!" breathed out Jane in a murmur, mesmerized by the precision of the creators of the Space Chamber.
"I think it's time for us to see whether Muggle technology and Magic truly can be conciliated or not!"
The small group followed Hermione's lead as she placed herself in the center of the Chamber. She pulled out of her enchanted purse the result of the two geniuses' hard work. Then she stepped aside to let Jane and Hotaru carry on the task.
"This is the moment of truth!" Jane smiled, trying to quiet down the pit of anticipation that was starting to build up in her stomach. Unwittingly holding her breath, she pressed the red button.
"Look, right there!" Luna smiled as she pointed her finger at the newly appeared green orb sparkling in the Andromeda Galaxy.
"But this can't be it." Hermione protested, "I mean, there's clearly no planet indexed there."
"Just one month prior, Jane and I had no idea of the existence of your world. Yet, it was right under our noses! It's not because you cannot see something that it doesn't exist, Granger! Especially when a guy as cunning as Loki is involved in the picture, don't you think?" Hotaru objected.
"Look," Harry pointed, "it's expanding."
And, indeed, a green sparkling trail started filling gradually the Chamber, becoming more intense as it indicated the places Loki had recently visited, including the small replica of Earth.
"Bloody hell! That's just amazing!" Ron breathed out in awe as he reached for it. "There's even the regions he's been in; New-York, Germany and this place in either India or Nepal, I can't tell."
"Oh, this must be Kamar-Taj." Harry précised with a grimace.
Moving across the Chamber to study Loki's magical trail thoroughly, Jane went suddenly still as an obvious detail struck her right away.
"Hotaru, have you…?" Jane started in shock.
"Yes. See, between the spot Luna pointed out earlier and the Earth, Loki's trail follows a rectilinear motion." Hotaru explained to their comrades as her cunning violet eyes scrutinized the evergreen streak.
"And, if we observe it carefully, the trail is denser at regularly distanced locations!" Jane exclaimed as a pit of excitement started to flow all over her body.
"Are you assuming that those are portals?" Hermione wondered.
"Indeed. In fact, I count twenty-two of them." replied Hotaru.
"So, have you any idea to where Loki is precisely?" Ron wondered.
"It must be in this place in the Andromeda Galaxy. It's the first one that appeared to us." Luna proposed.
"I agree with Luna." Hermione nodded.
"That's what's most likely to be true." Hotaru confirmed. "This would explain why the lines departing from this place to reach down to Earth, and most precisely the grounds of Kamar-Taj, are the brighter ones."
"Do you mind if we scan this room? We must show this to Thor." Jane asked politely.
"No, we don't. In fact, I also think that you should. There's no way Kingsley will ever get us the permission to come back down here again." Hermione advised.
"How long is it going to take?" Ron asked.
"Just two to three minutes and we'll be done." Jane replied.
When she woke up the next morning, a lush flower accompanied by a small scrap of paper were waiting Mikan on her doorstep. The young woman bent down to gather them, amazed by the beauty of the flower's petals, whose color fell somewhere between orange and gold. Raising it to her nose to smell its delicate fragrance, a small smile took form on her beautiful face.
Stepping back in her room, Mikan made a vase appear that emphasized the flower's grace. Carefully, she placed Loki's gift in it and put the vase on her nightstand. Only then she unfolded the note. Her heart skipped a beat and, slowly, her already bright smile widened. It read:
To friendship, Loki.
A.N: Thank you for reading this chapter! Constructive criticism is always welcome, please leave a review!