Some family fluff, Joanna says goodbye to her human sister, and greets her vampire sister.
"Now as the light starts to rise
Now as the day opens wide
Now as the dreams slips away
You wake to the day
You wake to the light
Here as your dream falls away
Feel as the dark turns to day
Leave the shadows behind
And the dream called in blind
Turn into the light
Far off in the distance
A fire comes to life
A flicker of a flame breaks through the dark
Burning soft and bright
Dancing with the light
Awakening the Heavens and the Earth"
September 12-13th, 2006
At the Cullen house, Alice was not happy to see Joanna. "I haven't been able to see you at all!"
Joanna shrugged, feeling a blush come to her cheeks, "I've…uh…been with Jacob."
Rosalie plopped Renesmee into Joanna's arms, nose wrinkled, "Yeah, we can ALL tell. You reek of Mutt. Renesmee will need a bath after she's done with you."
Joanna ignored the blonde, focused on her niece, "Hey there, Pretty. How was your day?"
Renesmee showed it all to her, and she barely noticed when Jacob settled onto the sofa next to her. Edward came down, stood behind her, and they all grimaced when Alice snapped a picture and squealed into the silent room, "Perfect!"
"Huh?" Jacob asked eloquently.
Alice was beaming, "I'm making a baby book for Renesmee. From this angle, you can't even tell it's not Bella holding her! It'll fit right in! Jo, you'll need to change shirts before baking your birthday cake so I can get pictures that are actually with you."
"Birthday cake?" Joanna asked, brightening and ignoring her irritation at being her twin's body double, "I've never had one before!" Esme gasped, and Jacob looked like he wanted to punch something. Joanna ignored them, rocking the baby excitedly and coming to her feet, "Ness, we're going to bake a cake! I don't know how, but Grandma Esme is sure to be a great teacher."
"Ness." Jacob echoed, "Loch Ness Monster…Nessie! Much better!" He leaned over Joanna's shoulder, "Hey, Nessie, I'm Jacob."
Joanna rolled her eyes at him, "I'd pick another nickname ASAP. Bella is not going to like that one, Jake. Not at all!"
Renesmee clapped a hand on Jacob's arm, and he froze for a second before pulling away and grinning triumphantly at Joanna, "Nessie likes it! She likes me too!"
"Wonderful." Rosalie snapped, slamming a bag of flour onto the counter with enough force to cause a brief white-out.
Edward gave a chuckle so small Joanna thought she might have misheard, "She thinks you smell like dinner, Jacob."
Joanna frowned, handing the baby to Rosalie as she told her, "No biting Jacob or Aunt Jo. Basically, if it can talk back, you don't put your lovely teeth anywhere near."
Judging by the expression on her face, Renesmee was vastly disappointed. The half-human rallied though when Rosalie propped her up on the counter so she could see the process of baking a chocolate birthday cake. Alice didn't let more than a minute pass during the cake baking process without snapping a picture. About half way through, Renesmee suddenly realized she didn't need to rely on Rosalie's supporting frame and started sitting up on her own, only wobbling once when Joanna almost dropped a mixing bowl and made a squawking noise that caught her niece by surprise.
Joanna grinned at the baby, "All good. Aunt Jo is just clumsy. Your momma was worse though. There would be flour every where if she were down here with us." She giggled, taking a bit of flour that had spilled on the counter and dabbing it on Renesmee's nose and cheeks. "Don't worry, Ness, I'm sure you'll get a chance to make a mess next time." Joanna turned her attention back to Esme who was ready with the next instruction.
They were all startled when Renesmee made a strange sound, and Jacob, who had ended up next to her, laughed deeply. He looked up at the vampires staring at him in confusion and worry, "She tasted the flour." He said in way of explanation, "She is completely disgusted with Joanna for being excited about something that must taste nasty."
Joanna frowned impishly at him, and smeared flour on his face, giving him a quick peck before wiping the flour off Renesmee's face, "Ness, when it's done, you will see. I love chocolate cake!"
Alice insisted they change clothes, move the baking supplies around, and change the intensity of the kitchen lights to simulate another baking day now that Renesmee was sitting up on her own. It created a natural break for Carlisle to measure Renesmee again, and for Joanna to pretend to steal a private moment with Jacob in a house full of super hearing equipped immortals. "Having fun?"
Jacob smiled at her, that easy boyish grin that made her heart flutter in her chest, "I am, actually. You're happy, and the kid is a surprisingly good commentator for a non-verbal two day old. She loves you, so we agree on a lot."
"Love, huh?" Joanna whispered, stealing a lengthier kiss to distract him.
"For the love of GOD!" Rosalie shrieked, "If this is how it's going to be between you two, and Edward and Bella spend the next ten years doing the same, I will go on strike."
Edward actually grinned, holding his daughter, "I am sure no one can top you and Emmett, Rose. Don't worry."
The pseudo siblings scowled at one another before Rosalie reclaimed both Renesmee and Joanna, "We have batter to pour. Esme won't wait all night."
Jacob's face was tight as they entered the kitchen, but he took his post back without a word. Joanna knew that Jacob watched her every move, analyzed every step the vampires took, but it was okay. He was trying. Giving the baby a nickname, no matter how ill-advised it was, showed vast progress. He even managed to keep a conversation going with Emmett while Joanna went upstairs to see her sister. She could feel his eyes on her as she went up the staircase though, and knew he was probably only half paying attention to the vampire.
"She's all healed." Joanna whispered, taking in the sight of her flawlessly pale sister.
Carlisle was there, working on a chart representing Renesmee's growth, and told her gently, "Almost. Her spine is still broken."
Joanna held her sister's hand, finding it cooler than it had been the day before. "I want to be here tomorrow. I know I can't see her, but…I want to be here. I need to be close enough to know everything's okay. I can stay with Renesmee, sit in a car in the garage or something."
Carlisle sighed, "Bella would never survive hurting you or her daughter."
Joanna was not taking no for an answer. "Rosalie can peel out at a moments notice."
"She should be fine." Alice chirped, suddenly there, "Jacob just needs to be between them."
The vampires argued strategy. Jacob, who had followed Alice up the stairs, barely kept his anxiety at bay, but Joanna ignored them. She brushed Bella's hair, straightened the simple dress she'd been redressed in, and, when the clock in the hall declared it was midnight, Joanna laid beside her twin, putting her head on Bella's chest. "Happy birthday."
She listened to Bella's dying heart: beating far too fast. She felt Bella's skin: colder by the minute. Then, she felt tears prick the back of her eyes. This was it. Jacob had been a blissful, wonderful, distraction, but this was the end. Their hearts that had come into being together, grown for eight and a half months side by side, but hadn't even had four whole years together. Bella may survive, live on for eternity, but part of her was dying. The unknown impact abruptly hit Joanna harder than any fist ever had. They would always be twins, sisters, but they would never exist this way again. "I love you, Bells, always."
Joanna sobbed quietly into Bella's dress, clutching her lifeless twin's hand until Jacob eased her away, "Jo, they said it'll be harder if the room smells like a human. We need to go back downstairs. You don't want to hurt Bella, do you?"
The human girl shook her head, but was still clinging to Bella's hand. Jacob held back tears of his own as he eased her out of the room. Joanna grabbed the door frame, panic overtaking her. "No!" Jacob tried to keep her moving, but Joanna screamed, "I can't leave her again!"
Jacob pulled her into a warm embrace, not knowing what else to do. He held her long enough that Edward started looking nervously at the clock on the wall in the hallway, "Come on, it won't be long and you should be able to talk to her. Bella's stubborn, she won't want to be away from you or the baby for longer than is necessary. We've got to go downstairs. Now." Joanna gasped a few times, trying to catch her breath, and her body stopped shaking. She didn't move though.
"Jacob." Edward growled, too softly for her to hear.
Jacob nodded at his one time rival, "I've got her." He wasn't about to give a vampire an excuse to put a hand unnecessarily on his imprint. Jacob pressed a kiss into the top of her head, "I'm going to pick you up, and we're going to go downstairs. Is that okay?"
She tipped her head up, those watery blue eyes cutting through him deep enough that he scarcely heard her whisper, "Okay."
He didn't waste any time scooping her off her feet. They were both silent until they were back in the living room with Rosalie, Emmett, and Nessie. Unlike the last time she'd napped with her niece on the sofa, Joanna used Jacob as a back rest, stroking her delicate fingers up and down the baby's spine as she fell asleep. And damn, the image of his imprint beside him with a baby on her chest did things to him. Joanna took a deep, steadying, breath once the baby was finally out, "Gonna have to find a new way to cuddle soon, she is dense." She grinned up at him, "At least she can suddenly sit up on her own now. She'll be driving in no time." Then she grimaced, "Nope, I am not going to stress about that right now. One melt down on my birthday is enough."
"That's the plan. No more tears," Jacob assured her, admitting, "I don't like it when you cry."
They spent the rest of the early morning hours curled up on that sofa, Joanna dozing off and on, Renesmee out like a light, and Jacob too on guard to relax enough for sleep. When Renesmee woke, it became a flurry of activity as Joanna, Esme, and Rosalie attempted to keep her entertained. Somehow, the baby understood her mother would be waking up soon, and she had demanded rather spectacularly to see Bella. Now. A set of silverware, likely worth more than anything Jacob owned, had been sacrificed to keep her entertained. Renesmee was endlessly disappointed when she discovered that Joanna was the only one who couldn't mangle a spoon barehanded.
"Sorry, Ness," She had explained to the baby, who looked months rather than days old, "I'm just not special in that way. But watch-" Joanna had closed her eyes, slumped over a bit, and a few seconds later her spirit self was standing across the living room. She sustained it just long enough to make a few funny faces and get a round of peeling laughter from her niece. Renesmee then touched her face and played the whole scene back.
"It's almost time!" Alice trilled, clapping in excitement, "She's going to be perfect!"
It all seemed to happen so quickly. The human, vampire, werewolf, and halfling sat for less than a half hour in the car idling in the Cullen's garage before Joanna gasped. The bright blue she'd been looking for had leapt across something in the distance, followed by a blur with a copper top. Joanna let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding ever since Rosalie's expression had changed enough to tell her something had changed in the house, "She made it."
Jacob grinned at her, "Of course she did!" He ruffled Renesmee's curls, and leaned over her carseat to kiss Joanna chastely.
Rosalie groaned, "This car will never not smell like mutt. You're just making it worse." She rolled a window down, but smiled at Joanna, "Carlisle says she's exceedingly controlled for a newborn. She realized she was hurting Edward and stopped…and then apologized."
"Some things never change." Joanna said, handing Renesmee another spoon from the bag in her lap to destroy. The anecdotal report really helped though. She made a quick call to Charlie and told him that Bella would be up to talking in the morning. Jacob and Renesmee hung on every word of the father/daughter conversation.
Renesmee played it back to Joanna, a question in her mind.
"That's your Grandpa Charlie." Joanna explained, hesitating, "I live with him. Maybe you'll get to see him someday. He'd love you just like we do."
Renesmee smiled happily and returned to her spoon.
Joanna leaned forward towards Rosalie, "So… what's happening?"
"I am not a walkie-talkie." Rosalie groused.
"I know!" Joanna said with a laugh. "I appreciate you though!"
Rosalie scowled, "Alice says they'll be back soon. She's upset that Bella ripped her dress."
Soon turned out to be twenty minutes. Their return was followed by several tense minutes where Rosalie kept the car in gear and backed up several times. Finally she put the car back into park and turned to face the three in the back seat. "Bella is being her usual pain in the ass self. Apparently she encountered some humans on her hunt with Edward."
Joanna gasped, but Jacob took her hand in his and shook his head. "She didn't." Jacob whispered, an amazed smile on his face as he listened in on the distant conversation. Then it was his turn to scowl, "She wants to see them? No. I will not put Joanna in that kind of danger."
Bella hadn't hurt the humans? She hadn't been driven made by blood lust? Bella wanted to see her? Joanna swung the car door open and bolted. Jacob was too focused on not hurting or scaring her to really stop her, and Rosalie was focused on the baby so she got far enough into the house to realize they were outside.
Jacob walked beside her, pleading with her to stop, but unwilling to physically do so, "Jo, let me go first. You hang here and I'll signal if I think it's safe. Please." He put himself between her and the door. "Bella would never forgive herself if she hurt you."
"You're right." Joanna sighed, being reasonable for a second. She watched Jacob go out, could see him, but couldn't see where Bella had to be. Alice stood beside her, irritated that the werewolf was in the midst of everything she wanted to see.
Joanna saw Jacob laugh, and it only took a second longer for her to open the door and step outside. She walked down the steps and found herself standing in front of the glorious creature her sister had become. Joanna stopped a few yards away from her twin, gazing in amazement at her, "Bells, you gorgeous fucking idiot. You slept for three days."
Bella smiled, and took a slight breath and tipped her head to the side, looking suddenly wrecked, the smile sliding off her face as she whispered, "Jo."
Edward tightened his hold on his wife. "It's okay Bella. She's okay now."
"What?" Joanna asked, not understanding why her sister looked so sad.
Jasper spoke, looking more miserable than usual, "We didn't warn her."
Joanna wanted to scream at the crowd of insufferable statuesque vampires, "About what?"
"Your wrists." Bella choked out, shaking, her beautiful face contorted in rage. "Your neck."
Joanna looked down at her wrists, which looked fine to her, but…she remembered. She remembered them raw, torn from handcuffs a few times, restraints cutting her wrists and neck a few times. Zip ties were the worst. She remembered her neck, cut by a man who'd thought holding a knife there while he fucked her was a good idea. He'd almost killed her. And she had almost forgotten. Bella, newly perfected, must be able to see more than Joanna could of the damage that remained forever etched into her skin. Shame made her cheeks flush.
"Scars. Ones I can't really see anymore. You've all been able to see them this whole time." She could hardly get the words out. Subtle, reluctant, nods confirmed the statement, and she fought back tears. Jacob was the only one to shake his head. A small gift. He would eventually learn the depths of her scars, but at least he hadn't been staring at them like everyone else and just not saying anything. She got closer to her sister though, close enough she could see how much Bella had changed. Still Bella, but perfected. Joanna stared into her sister's vivd red eyes, and gave her a small smile she hoped was convincing, "I'm healed now, Bells. And so are you."
Bella shrugged out of Edward's grip, assuring him she was in control. She spoke in a rush, trying not to have to breathe more often than necessary. "You're not scared of me?"
"Never." Joanna said firmly, and despite how badly she wanted to wrap her arms around Bella, she just smiled at her. This, talking to Bella, was already more than she'd dreamed. Bella smiled back at her, and took a step forward, trusting herself more.
"Alright, that's enough experimenting for one day." Jacob said as he slotted his hand and warm fingers into Joanna's. She shot him an irritated look and shook her head before turning her attention back to her inhuman twin. She gave his hand a squeeze though, trying to calm him.
Bella's ruby eyes flitted to their joined hands, "Jacob, why are you still here?" He pulled Joanna behind him when Bella took another step closer, "Jake, why are you here?"
Jacob was as started by the shift in Bella's tone as Joanna was, "Bella, I didn't…it's just…"
"No." Bella hissed in disbelief, understanding dawning on her perfect features. She knew the both of them too well, knew there was only one reason her twin would be so calm near a new man, why Jacob would be so concerned about the safety of someone he'd just met. "You imprinted on my sister?" His silence was answer enough, and he started shoving Joanna back towards the porch. Bella was shaking, teeth bared, "She's been through enough without you putting your moronic wolfy claim on her!" Edward went to grab a hold of her, but Bella hissed at him and slipped easily from his grip, "Edward, don't touch me, I don't want to hurt you." She glanced at her sister, who looked worried, "Jo, back away, please." The last word was a growl, like she was barely controlling herself, and she was barely in control. Joanna had had her life dictated by men for long enough. The faded scars that littered her exposed skin were proof enough of that. And now Jacob was going to take the freedom she'd finally found?
"Yeah, yeah, good idea." Jacob said, shoving Joanna back farther.
Alice took a hold of Joanna's arm, urging her onto the porch, "Joanna, let's go inside."
Joanna screamed when both Jacob and Bella launched into movement.
Chapter lyrics from 'Awakening' by the Celtic Women. I hope you guys liked this one! It kind of fought me, to be honest. The next chapter is shaping up to be much easier to write though! Birthday fluff and the return of Charlie!
Let me know what you thought of this one!
-Jenn