Ayelet's POV

He made the deal, that foolish idiot, that brainless douche bag! I couldn't help myself but let my tears flow, I couldn't move after my soul returned back to my body. Another brother crossed off the list, I can't stand this anymore. I'm exhausted, both physically and emotionally. I learnt most of the emotions, but there are core ones that even we, angels do have, like love.

Our love comes from understanding, and we don't have control over our actions most of the time, unlike humans, who do have, but mostly screw things up without any help. I'm closer to this than I assumed, after million years spent among them, it is no wonder they had an impact on my personality. They impressed me a lot. Like Captain Hale, Consul Thorn and Trynnes, and Alex Lannon.

Despite all of these goods I still missed my celestial family, my siblings and my father, although now I had pure hatred towards him for making Michael kill himself to save me with the promised divine light. I'd rather accepted my death if Michael would have given me choice, but recently he didn't. He just went after his hot head, and he wonders why Alex does the same. He teaches him these example behaviour patterns both consciously and unconsciously. He learns with imitating him.

My anger tells me I haven't forgiven my brother, but honestly? I can't feel hatred towards him. I am sad, and I am brought down by his actions, but I don't hate him. Yes, I feared him, for eons, but no longer. Gratitude is what replaced that feeling, and now I know how much I meant to him. He loves his family too.

"Hey, do you hear me, Ayelet?" I squeezed a little the familiar hand of Captain Hale. He was with me all the days he could. Once he slept with his head on the edge of my bed, I could sense it. I could hear him inhaling and exhaling air, and I just realized why I can't accept my death yet. I have duties here, I have people to protect here, and I can't perish now. Not now.

I lost my brothers, I am losing my friends, and the world is just leaving me behind. In Heaven time never came in count, everything was still and the same, now here on Earth I can feel the weight and pressure on my shoulders, on my soul, how much it counts, to spend every valuable moment with our loved ones and not hesitating or holding on to old fears that kept me locked in my own mental prison.

Michael's shed blood is on my hands, I am responsible for his death. Why should I return back? How will it affect my environment? Have any goods come from my hands? All I do is ruin everything, why would I worth him that much? Giving his life for me... for the human lady I understand, he is attracted to humans. But for me? I wasn't a good sister. I always got him in trouble, since I left Heaven, I only hurt him.

Sorry, Michael...

After this how I'm supposed to have the nerve to return back to Heaven? No way can I enter the celestial kingdom after my sins. My stubbornness and cruelty led Michael to get rid of his life.

I can't stop my tears, they're determined, more than I was. What helps to make the machines I am tied to recognize I am functioning, is Captain Hale's warm hand, holding mine.

He slept beside me. If I'd have some more energy I'd smile a bit, and sign for him that I am aware, I hear him, I am here. He cares for me. So did Michael.

The only I was able to do was a bit moving my finger, the smallest one. It was enough to alarm the living ones around me that I am back. I am here. They don't know yet that I am hearing everything.

The next day Captain Hale came again. This time was special, Lieutenant Jordan was also with him.

"Do you think she hears us?"

"Of course. She is... you know, what." Wait! He told the lieutenant I am an angel? Oh no...

"Hey, good to see you back, girl. I was hoping you won't let us down. Get better, we'll be here for you." hearing him cheering for me was a touching moment. Gosh, someone has a paper tissue? "Hey, isn't she crying?"

Good, someone noticed it, I like you, Lieutenant. I felt some soft material on my face, wiping my tears off of me. Better. Much better. I wish I could communicate here on Earth like I was able in Heaven. We could hear each others' thoughts back there, I want to ask about Becca's conditions.

"Hey. You saved Consul Thorn, a V6 aristocrat. Cool, I am confused about what you've done to her, not to mention the doctors, but... she is awakened. Weak, pathetic but awaken. Awesome, this dude by my side is lucky to have you, as his guardian... get better, girl!"

"Stop mocking me all the freaking time!" laughed Captain Hale. "But he is right, don't you dare to leave us alone.

I love them. I love my family too. For Michael's respect I'll work on to get my powers back, so his sacrifice won't go to waste. In the end maybe we figure out there's no need for a chosen one, I can "solve" things on my own, by ruining my brothers to death...

I hope at least Gabriel is Ok out there, and Uriel, and Raphael. I don't know, how much time fade away, but one day I met Darkness again.

"Hello, my old friend. Long time no see you."

"You too, Darkness."

"How did you know it's me?"

"Michael can't be alive. You're just in my mind, right? That is how I can speak to you. I am not strong enough yet to do these activities." My mind wondered, this could be the situation, because in reality I would not be able to move my body, only at a bare minimum level. So it is in my imagination only.

"What if I am alive?"

"Don't pretend you're him. He is dead, and I caused it." I refused the picture he was showing to me.

"Ok, let's pretend the blade wasn't made in Heaven. What if it was a regular knife that is useless against an archangel, especially to Michael? What if your so feared brother is alive? What do you say?"

"Nothing... I saw with my own soul what he was capable of for me and that human. But I think it was mostly for her." Laurel moved his heart, and I am not against it, but he has to confess it to Becca at later point. Gosh, what he has done... only in the rage of sudden anger. Well, that can apply to me too. I almost killed myself out of pure fear.

"See? You're not any better than him. You blame him for a lot of thing, but I suggest you to think about what you've done too. That what you fear is a complete bullshit. You're honest devastating material is the fear of not fearing him. If you'd stop it, than you'd no reason to keep hating him. To keep running, and stay here on Earth."

"False, darling Darkness."

"So? Why would I be false? I know you from the inside pretty well. Oh, the male human. Fascinates you, am I right? So you use him as an excuse."

"Deebunked. I am not using him. He is truly my reason I want to stay. He needs to be loved. To be secured. Someone who supports him, and cares for him as I wouldn't be able like a human lady. I am his guardian, and a guardian's duty is to make sure he gets what is best for him."

"What is best for him? Oh, you mean, Meredith?"

"Stop these pictures. I do not need them. I know my mistakes. I know how stupid I was."

"Do you?" he appeared again in Michael's shape. How I hate the plays of Darkness, he turns our greatest fears against us. A flaming sword in his hand. "This is what you fear, don't you?"

He stabbed me right where my heart was. I tried to fight against the pictures, Michael wouldn't hurt me. He sacrificed his life for me. For the light what is left after Father had gone.

"Am I right, this is why you were running for countless years?" I was helpless. Darkness defeated me. I nodded. "I don't love you. I never done. I only loved the light within you, coming from Father. You are useless. Such as your twin Lucifer."

What is cruel in Darkness, that most of his sayings were true in my case. I wasn't really needed. Why a wingless angel would be happy among those glorious, gracious ones? Who I was among them? Most of the angels even forgot my own name, Ayelet. Father doesn't need an assistant on guarding the stars, to check on perfect timing, he is perfectness himself. Than what was my purpose for living?

"Stop it! Stop it, please!" I begged, covering my ears. I didn't want to hear these. I wanted him to go away, to stop haunting me. But where can we run from ourselves? If these were my thoughts? Where could I run, immobilized, helpless, and powerless?

These were my very vivid doubts in my head, stuck in my memory within the years spent here on Earth...

"Wake up! It's just a bad dream!"