Chapter 25- Biggest Prank ever?
September 1993
"How was your summer ladies," Daphne said entering the train compartment.
"A ballet tour," Pansy said.
"I helped my mother at a few high profile events," Tracy said. "But not nearly as exciting as your summer," Tracy said holding up a picture of Daphne's accident. "I did like the color, but really mooning the press, bad form." she said, shaking her head.
"Need I remind you who you are talking to,," Daphne said.
"The girl who has gone soft," Pansy said.
"Gone soft," Daphne said.
"Yes," Pansy said. "I mean you are wearing a corset after all," Pansy chuckled.
"It's called fashion, and I think it looks cute," Daphne shot back.
"Or is it because you got fat over the summer like your butterball of a little sister," Tracy smirked.
"Astoria is not a butterball," Daphne said.
"But she is one of the fattest first years we've seen so far, and well, that has us wondering….." Pansy said circling Daphne.
"How much weight did you gain, or did all that sun go to your head," Tracy added, pulling a picture of her and Astoria playing in the sand from Daphne's purse.
"I am not soft in the head, and give that back," Daphne hissed her anger rising.
"Make me," Tracy said as the train lurched as it began to move, tossing Daphne to the ground.
"You really have gone soft," Pansy said, grabbing Daphne's posterior.
Burning anger began building inside of her like a raging fire as she looked at the ground feeling the train pick up speed. Fire spreading across her body she slowly stood balling her fists. "Need I remind you who you are talking to," Daphne said. "I am the heir to the Countess Greengrass, a long noble line dating back to the Lancasters and the plantagenets. I will not be treated like this from anyone let alone a family that bought their way into the ranks of the nobility Miss Davis. You might have money, but money can not buy class," Daphne said glaring at Tracy fire burning in her eyes before turning towards Pansy.
"You might be a ballerina, but you have the grace of a raging madman, which is not surprising given that the Parkinson family a mere Baroness who hails from a ragtag bunch of viking raiders," Daphne said. "Now if you must know I have been in communication with Baron Vladmir Harkonen whose family is descended from the Russian Czars. I also have a personal invitation with Lady Jessica Atreides, not to mention I spent time learning dance from Maria Tepes, so perhaps it is you who should be worried," Daphne said flipping her hair over her shoulder before rising up on her toes striking a pose as the train rumbling down the tracks.
"Anyone can do en pointe," Pansy said standing up.
"Prove it," Daphne said.
"I will," Pansy said standing up. Slowly rising up on her toes Pansy struck the same pose but wobbled a bit as the train moved down the tracks.
"I didn't wobble," Daphne said, sitting down her back straight posture perfect with her hands in her lap.
"Now that is the Daphne we remember," Tracy said. "Pansy was worried you had gone soft, but I knew the Daphne we know and love was still in there."
"Now what can you tell us about the muggle turd," Pansy said.
"She is more of a little turd these days, and it appears that she will be taking remedial transfiguration, charms, and potions with the first years, she even looks like them," Daphne explained.
"Interesting," Pansy said.
"Yes, and perhaps should make her live with them since she is taking classes with them," Tracy said.
"Then I guess that makes Milliecent the fat girl of our year, and we should place her on maid duty" Tracy said.
"That could be a bit of a stretch," Pansy said.
"Is there a particular reason," Daphne asked.
"I believe she needs to learn her proper place, and that is in the kitchen" Tracy said.
"And the reason is," Daphne asked.
"It seems that Mrs. Bulstrode catered Neville Longbottom's birthday party, a party that included dignitaries from Monaco attended," Pansy explained.
"And that Millicent was able to talk to," Tracy grumbled.
"I believe something can be arranged," Daphne said.
"Now about the cheer team," Pansy said.
"Liz will be moving us up to the varsity team," Daphne said.
"How did you manage that," Pansy asked.
"Let's just say Evangeline needed a favor after that disastrous showing at the PTA meeting," Daphne said.
Break
"Is something wrong Millie," Hermione said as they enjoyed the train ride.
Millie started blushing looking away. "No I mean….. Well…. Um…" she stammered. "I saw your pictures from the ceremony, and your dress was really cute and all."
"Thank you," Hermione replied.
"But, I just didn't expect…" Millie said.
"Expect what," Hermione said.
"Congratulations," Millie said.
"For what," Hermione said, cocking her head to the side.
"Losing so much weight," Millie blurted out.
"Thank you, but I'm still a little fatty," Hermione said sadly.
"No you're not," Millie said.
"Yes, I am," Hermione said.
Millie sighed standing up removing her robe. "Hermione come here," Millie said.
"Ok," Hermione said.
"This is a belly," Millie said, placing Hermione's hands on her stomach. "Fat girls have bellies," Millie sighed sadly. "You do not have a belly," Millie said, poking Hermione's stomach, making her giggle. "Therefore, you are not a fat girl."
Hermione slowly tilted her head up slightly looking her friend in the eyes. "You are a good girl Millie," she said patting Millie on the head. "Don't ever change, and technically I'm still a 3rd year and there is only 1 maid allowed per year so you shouldn't have to worry about that."
"Thank you," Millie said, tearing up slightly.
"Now how was your summer," Hermione asked.
"I got to meet dwarves and they liked my sausages, oh and Neville's birthday party was so much fun. I was supposed to just help serve, but Neville insisted that I join in the fun. Oh and the people from Monaco liked my pastries," Millie gushed.
"Awesome way to go Millie," Hermione cheered.
"And well can you thank your Mom for me because she was the one who gave us the introduction to the dwarves," Millie said.
"No problem," Hermione said as a knock sounded on the door.
"Excuse me," two young girls said, opening the door.
"Yes," Hermione said.
"Is there a problem," Millie asked, seeing the distraught look on their faces.
"We were talking to another 1st year, and then these kids came in and threw us out, saying they needed to talk to her, but then they did some magic on the door and the girl is crying," the first girl said.
"Where," Hermione said.
"It's a few compartments down with the big meanie standing in front of it," the second girl said.
"Thank you for bringing this to my attention girls," Hermione said standing up.
"Hey Hermione," Padma and Parvati said coming in behind the girls.
"Can you help us," the girls said.
"Yes, don't worry, and you can sit with my friend Millie," Hermione said walking towards them. "She makes really good cookies," Hermione whispered in their ears as she walked by.
"Padma, Parvati, I have discovered some things recently and I feel a demonstration is in order," Hermione said.
"This is going to be fun," Padma and Parvati said in unison.
"McLaggen," Hermione said, walking towards the large Griffydor.
"What's it to you runt," McLaggen said.
"My name is not runt," Hermione replied.
"You know this little shrimp Parvati," McLaggen said.
"McLaggen, what are you doing," Parvati said.
"Keeping watch," McLaggen replied.
"Why," Parvati said.
"Because my friends need to teach someone a lesson," McLaggen said.
"And that someone is a first year," Padma said.
"Perhaps," McLaggen said.
"Just move already," Padma hissed.
"Make me," McLaggen said.
"Wir haben nett gefragt," Hermione said pulling out her wand pointing it at herself. "
Verstärkung," she said putting her wand away.
"You first years are always so dumb pointing…" McLaggen said before a tiny fist embedded itself in his gut, doubling him over.
"Ich mag keine Mobber," Hermione said tossing McLaggen aside. "Gesperrt," Hermione hissed yanking on the door.
"It's a third year locking charm, good luck opening it, you stupid German," McLaggen groaned.
"Ein Schließzauber ist nur so gut wie die Tür, an der er verwendet wird," Hermione said before punching the flimsy locking mechanism of the door breaking it off, before calmly opening the door. If Hermione was mad before, she was livid now as a group of students berated Astoria who was huddled in the corner. "Halt," Hermione growled with a thick German accent.
"What, how did you get in here," one of the group members said.
"That doesn't matter, what does matter is you asshats are in big trouble," Padma said.
"Now suggest you leave before our friend gets angry and you end up like McLaggen," Parvati said pointing to where he was still laying on the floor moaning in pain.
"Fine," the group said slowly trailing out.
"Thank you," Astoria muttered looking up.
"Bitte," Hermione said, walking towards Astoria. "Hey Astoria it's me, they just think I'm a super scary German girl," Hermione whispered in her ear making Astoria giggle.
"Hermione," Astoria said looking at her friend.
"Yep," Herimone said.
"Thank you," Astoria said hugging Hermione.
"You going to be ok," Herimone asked.
"Yes, they were just yelling at me," Astoria said.
"Your friends and Millie are a few compartments down, can you hangout with them while I talk to some people," Hermione said.
"Sure," Astoria said.
"Hermione what was all that," Padma asked as Astoria left while Parvati repaired the door.
"I've learned a few things over the summer," Hermione giggled hopping into a seat.
"Understatement, was that German magic," Parvati asked.
"No," Hermione said smiling. "Just a little ruse to hide what I was really doing. It's called reinforcement by the way."
"Wait you mean that….." Padma gasped.
"It can increase physical abilities," Parvati finished.
"Yes, in addition to increasing your magical resistance it can increase physical abilities including your senses," Hermione said. "It's an instinctual ability in magical creatures, and people with some nonhuman blood have an easier time with it. While normal witches and wizards can learn the skill it is just difficult," Hermione said.
"How did you learn all this," Padma said.
"I kinda sort used it on the cerberus by accident last year, and Anna Matou a hit wizard with the Greek Ministry of Magic filled in some blanks," Hermione explained.
"That explains a lot," Padma said.
"Like what," Hermione asked.
"Hagrid was upset over someone treating Fluffy so badly, but Ron said that a harp was playing when they entered the room," Parvati said.
"So what really happened," Padma asked.
"Not now," Hermione said.
"What, why," the girls said as Hermione gave them a serious look. "I see, that also makes sense, you can tell us when the time is right," the pair said.
"Vielen Dank," Hermione said.
"Well you weren't the only one who discovered things over the summer," Padma said.
"What did you find," Hermione asked.
"Moksha or as the west calls it enlightenment, is the principle goal of Hinduism. In Monistic Hinduism this is accomplished through comprehending the nature of one's soul, and finding the universe in yourself" Padma said.
"What this means for magic is that we all have a connection to an aspect of the universe. The old texts called it an origin, but how this affects your magic was left unclear," Parvati added.
"Interessant," Hermione said twirling her hair in her finger.
"Now enough about this, I want to hear about your summer, that dress you wore was so cute," Parvati said.
"Ugh….." Padma groaned.
"Oh come on, you liked it too," Parvati said.
Break
"I heard there is a German exchange student," a couple of students were whispering as they waited to be sorted.
"I heard she's like crazy powerful," another one said.
"Yeah, I saw her punch out a third year and then rip a locked door open," another girl said.
"Awesome," several more gasped.
"Anna, aren't they talking about…" Astoria asked before the girl hushed her.
"Yes, but it's hilarious," Anna said stifling a giggle.
"We've already done a big prank and the school year hasn't even started yet," another girl said.
"Belle," Astoria giggled.
"We just need a name….." Belle asked.
"Anna Baker," McGonagall called out.
"Looks like I'm up," Anna said skipping up to the front red hair bouncing along with her.
"Better be Syltherin," the hat exclaimed, taking barely a second to decide.
"No surprise there," Astoria said as Belle looked at her. "It is the house of the sneaky after all."
"I know where I am going then," Belle said.
"I wish I had your confidence," Astoria said.
"Don't worry you'll figure it out," Belle said as Astoria's name was called.
"I hope so," Astoria muttered slowly walking forward.
"Is that really a Greengrass, she doesn't really look like her sister at all, Daphne definitely got all the looks in that family, what a little fatty," voices said as she slowly marched forward a growing sense of dread washing over her.
"Relax child, I will not harm you," the hat said into her head.
"Eeep," Astoria squeaked nearly falling off the chair as the crowd laughed. "Are you the hat?" Astoria asked.
"Yes, I am the hat," the hat said in her mind. "Now where to place you?"
"I want to be with Hermione and my sister," Astoria said.
"Curious word placement," the hat said. "But what do you really want?"
"What do you mean," Astoria asked.
"Who do you want to be, what do you want out of life," the hat asked.
"I want to be more than this, more than a spare, I want people to see me as me," Astoria finally said after a long pause.
"With ambitions like that there is only one place for you, better be Syltherin," the hat exclaimed.
"Oh great the fat little turd is ours," Tracy said.
"That fat little turd is my sister," Daphne said.
"I know, but you deserve a better sister than that," Tracy said as Astoria walked by. "Someone who can help you properly support the Greengrass family name."
"I agree, but you can't pick your family," Pansy said.
"But you can pick your friends, and friends can be like family," Daphne said. "And I represent the family, not my sister."
"Welcome to Syltherin," Hermione and Millie said, making room for her.
"Thanks," Astoria said, seated safely between her friends.
"Belle Foster," McGonagall said, waiting as a girl with raven black hair made her way to the front.
"Better be Syltherin," the hat said as a giggling Belle stepped down.
"Same house, awesome," the pair giggled high fiving each other.
"Do you know where the german girl ended up," another first year asked them.
"Anna and Belle shared a look before replying with a single word. "Nope, but who knows maybe she's in Slytherin."
"Girls what are you doing," Hermione asked the pair.
"Just a little prank," Anna said.
"Because it's hilarious," Belle said.
"Ok…" Hermione said.
Break
"What's the shrimp doing in here, this is for third years not firsties," several other slytherin 3rd years said.
"I am a third year," Hermione protested.
"Well you sure don't look like one," Tracy said looking down at Hermione.
"And you are going to be spending half a day taking classes with the first years," Daphne said.
"Daphne….." Hermione muttered her head, dropping unable to meet the vicious grin on the girl's face.
"We already cleared it with Liz," Pansy said.
"Yes, and I can't let a child spend time with such lovely young girls. Your childishness might infect them," Liz said.
"Fine," Hermione muttered, grabbing her trunk.
"This does not excuse you from your duties which now include the first, second and third years," Liz said.
"That's….." Millie said.
"Oh Millie dear, don't think I've forgot about you," Liz said.
"Yes," Millie gulped.
"With Hermione now gone, one thing has become blatantly obvious," Liz said.
"No," Millie muttered.
"Yes," Daphne said, removing Millie's clothes with a flick of her wand.
"Merlin you are fatter than I thought," Pansy said.
"I'd say you're pregnant but you're too young," Tracy said violently, grabbing Millie's stomach.
"So you will be joining Hermione in her maid duties, you fat worthless slob," Tracy said as Liz laid out Millie's new uniform.
"I hope it's big enough for you tubby," Pansy said ruthlessly, tightening the apron grinning as it cut into Millie's stomach.
Break
"Hermione," Astoria said in shock as Hermione walked into the dorm room followed by Liz.
"Hi," Hermione waved nervously.
"Ladies this is Hermione, she is technically a third year, but she is a little slow so she will be taking morning classes with you, hence why she is moving in. Let her be an example of what not to aspire to," Liz said before leaving.
"So cool," Anna and Belle exclaimed before the other girls could react.
"You think having a retard in our dorm is cool," another girl said.
"Hermione is not a retard," Astoria said.
"And why do I care about a little fatty like you," the girl said.
"I am not fat, I am big boned," Astoria said. "And I know how we can prank the school better than the fabled marauders or the Weasley twins."
"I am so in," Anna and Belle said.
"And what is this great prank," the rude girl said.
"There is a rumor that a powerful first year beat the crap out of a Gryffindor third year," Astoria said.
"I wouldn't say that all I did was punch him in the stomach," Hermione muttered as the girls looked at her. "And he was being a meanie and I asked nicely first. My mom always says to ask nicely first," Hermione babbled.
"That was awesome," Anna and Belle said.
"Wait are you Hermione Granger," another girl asked.
"Yes," Hermione said.
"I saw your speech in Belgium, nice job," another girl said.
"Thanks," Hermione said.
"What is this prank again," the rude girl asked.
"We make everyone think that Hermione is the mysterious German girl," Astoria said.
"And just how are we going to do that," the girl pressed.
"We can start by calling her a name other than Hermione," Astoria said.
"And Hermione already knows German," Anna said.
"We can dye her hair too," Belle added.
"Ok, but what is in it for me," the girl said.
"Hermione takes really good notes, so she knows what the professors are going to cover each day. So we could study ahead of time, and earn more house points," Astoria said.
"Count me in," several more girls said.
"I will go along with this for now," the girl said.
"Astoria, what are you doing," Hermione said, pulling her aside as the other girls got to planning.
"Helping," Astoria said nervously, pushing her fingers together. "You're really nice and I didn't want them to make fun of you."
"Thank you, Astoria," Hermione said, hugging her.
Break
"What do you think," Belle said, holding up a mirror for Hermione to examine her hair.
"Is that my hair," Hermione gasped looking at the smooth dark blonde strands that fell past her shoulders. "It's so pretty."
"Hehehehe, my mom is a hair stylist, so I might have picked up a thing or two," Belle said with a big grin on her face.
"And how's the outfit," Anna asked.
"I love it," Hermione said, spinning around in a simple white sailor top with red trim around the sleeves, and a collar with a red bow just above her chest. A simple dark blue skirt, calf high white socks and brown loafers rounded out the outfit.
"Mom's a small time seamstress and I might have learned a thing or two," Anna said.
"Did you pick a name yet," Astoria asked.
"My middle name is Jean," Hermione said.
"That might not be German enough," Astoria said.
"What do you think then," Hermione asked.
"How about Johanna," Hermione said.
"Perfect," Astoria said.
"What about your glasses," the rude girl said
.
"That I can handle," Hermione said pointing her wand at her eyes. "Verstärkung," she said before removing her glasses as she reinforced her eyes, improving her sight slightly.
"What is that spell, I need to learn that," a girl with glasses said.
"Family magic," Hermione said.
"It's even changed the color a little," the girls said marveling at the slight blue tint to Hermione's brown eyes.
"Oh one more thing, use this for your backpack, we can't have Johanna or Hermione using the same stuff," Anna said handing Hermione a stylish brown leather backpack while Belle placed a cute hat on her head.
"Girls, I think she is ready," Astoria said.
"Guten Tag, mein Name ist Johanna," Hermione said, stressing her german accent, while smiling at the girls.
"This is going to be epic," Anna and Belle said along with the others.
"Now about the classes," the rude girl said.
"Oh come on Elizabeth, let her have some fun," several girls said.
"I am a Lestrange and I have an image to uphold," Elizabeth said.
"Keine Sorge, ich werde dir helfen," Hermione said as the girls looked at her. "Oh sorry, I forgot you don't know German," a blushing Hermione stammered.
"No, that perfect, it will sell the illusion more," Astoria said.
"Alright, and we can talk while on the way to breakfast," Hermione said.
"Let's go Johanna," everyone cheered.
"Ok Johanna, let's do this," Hermione said, skipping along with the other girls. "Now Professor Snape is going to ask about the ingredients for the Draught of Living Death, Powdered, Root of Asphodel, Infusion of Wormwood, Valerian Sprigs, Sloth Brain, and the Juice of a Sopophorous Bean. Also he does not take kindly to wrong answers so don't raise your hand unless you are absolutely sure. Professor Fitwick is going to spend time going over basic wand motions, and Professor McGonagal is going to surprise us as she is a cat animagus, before going over the basic rules of Transfiguration," Hermione explained.
Break
"Oh my god Hermione is that you," Lavender said walking over to the table where Hermione sat.
"Her name's not Hermione, it's Johanna," Belle said.
"Well you look alot like my friend Hermione," Lavender said, taking a second look. "Wait a minute I don't remember any Johanna being sorted," Lavender said as Hermione winked at her.
"Girls would you mind giving me a minute," Hermione said.
"Yep, we're done anyway, meet you in the hallway," the girls said.
"Hermione, why are you sitting with first years," Lavender asked.
"Because she is a stupid girl who is taking remedial classes on acount of being barely more capable than a squib," Daphne said as she walked by.
"Hermione I'm so sorry," Lavender said.
"It's ok, the first years are nice," Hermione said.
"That doesn't explain why they told me to call you Johanna," Lavender said.
"You've heard the rumor about the German girl who beat up McLaggen," Hermione said.
"Yes, but he denies it happened….. Wait that was you," Lavender said. "Why am I not surprised."
"He was being a meanie," Hermione huffed pouting and crossing her arms.
"No doubt he deserved it, but that doesn't explain," Lavender said.
"Astoria came up with this plan where all of the Slytherin girls are going to call me Johanna, when I am in classes with them so that everyone will think I'm the German girl," Hermione explained. "And that way no one has to know that I am in remedial classes."
"That is so cool," Lavender said, reaching into her bag. "Let me help," Lavender said.
"What's that," Hermione said.
"Just some cleanser and light makeup to clear up your skin a little," Lavender said, working quickly. "There now you look like a fresh faced firstie, Johanna. I'll send this with instructions later, just wash it off after lunch and no one will know the difference."
"Vielen Dank Lavender," Hermione said looking at her face in the mirror amazed at how such a little thing when combined with everything else made her look almost like a completely different person.
"You're welcome and I will tell the Gryffindor firsties about Johanna," Lavender said before leaving.
Break
"I can't believe none of the professors noticed anything," Astoria said.
"They used magic to take the role, so I doubt they were paying attention," Hermione said.
"Day 1 was a complete success," Anna said.
"I will you later girls it's time for me to go and be Hermione," she said.
"Not before you go change," Belle said.
"That's right," Astoria said. "Go change into Hermione."
"Right," Hermione said, heading back to the dorms.
A quick wash, a change of clothes and a few spells, found Hermione sighing a little as she looked at herself in the mirror. A black skirt, black tights, simple white blouse and a brown vest adorned her body. The bulky natures of the sweater making her feel short fat and lumpy, while her now frizzy brown hair boofed out just barely touching her shoulders, with big ugly glasses resting on her nose. Her skin blotchy "Hello I am Hermione Granger," she said stressing her English accent before lumbering off to class.