Chapter 21

Here and Gone

Severus pulled away, and he found himself sitting at the kitchen table once more. He searched James's face for any sign of mischief- any glint of humor that would indicate James had concocted a false memory as a prank.

James looked steadily back at Severus, his expression perfectly earnest.

"You… it…" Severus ventured, and then found he could not formulate any one of the million questions that were swirling, half-formed, in his mind.

"I couldn't tell you directly, and my mind hid it from you as long as you hadn't mastered occlumency- almost on its own. I know, because I tried to show it to Lily the first time she read my mind. Recently, I figured out that, to bring it to the front of my mind, I had to focus on how certain I am that you are my soulmates, and how certain I was that you could keep the secret. Now that Lily's got the hang of occlumency, and since I am sure…"

James trailed off, looking at Severus over the rims of his glasses almost sheepishly.

Severus cleared his throat, his mouth suddenly dry. "We shouldn't discuss this out loud, should we?"

James shook his head, and then shot a significant look at the house elves.

Lily, who'd been standing anxiously behind Severus, sat down beside him. "So you will… make one, too?"

James nodded. "With your help."

"So we-"

"All three of us, yes. I need both of you."

"You would- you would offer us…" Severus whispered.

"Without a second thought," James said.

#

Severus pulled away from the stream of memories, trying to look ahead- trying to see what had happened next. The stream of memories continued to flow steadily, however, and Severus found himself thrust into another memory- one he'd never lost.

It was the end of the year. Exams were over, and Severus had taken the bus back to Cokesworth. The intrigues he'd encountered as a budding spy had made him more cautious than he had been at the beginning of the year; he did not sit with Lily on the bus, nor did he walk her to her parent's house. Instead, he walked to spinner's end alone, wondering how he could arrange to see Lily without being seen.

When Severus reached the house, there was a strange, disquieting stillness in the air. When he opened the door, there was no angry grunt or drone of the TV to greet him. This in itself wasn't strange- when his father was out, his mother usually did not keep the TV on. However, when Severus called,"Mother," he received no reply, and this was strange because she rarely went out herself.

"Mother!" he called again. He dropped his trunk's handle and dashed through the entryway and up the stairs. As he went, he noticed that the house was oddly clean- cleaner than his mother ever kept the place- though nothing seemed to be missing. He called and called, and still received no reply. His parents' bedroom was empty, as was his bedroom and the bathroom. He dashed back downstairs and checked the kitchen, which was also empty. The sitting room, however, was not.

"Lucius Malfoy," Severus said breathlessly.

Lucius was, indeed, in Severus's sitting room, his elegant figure thoroughly out of place on the threadbare settee. He stood as Severus entered, offering his hand.

"So good to see you, Mr. Snape," Malfoy said, grinning. "The Dark Lord was most pleased with the spell you presented him with. He said that you show great promise. To return the favor, and as a belated 17th birthday gift, the Dark Lord has given you… this."

Malfoy gestured at the room around him. "It isn't much, I grant you, but property is property."

"You mean the house? But it belongs to my father," Severus sputtered.

"It did, but now it belongs to his only heir. I trust you will make much better use of the house than he did."

"My-" Severus's vision clouded for a moment, and he had to sit. "My father has been murdered?"

"Muggles do not live very long," Malfoy said smoothly. "Even for a muggle, the man was not in the best physical condition, and with his tendency to overindulge in fatty foods and alcohol, no one was surprised when he collapsed on the factory floor."

"I see," Severus said slowly.

"You mother was a trickier matter," Malfoy continued, pacing through the room. "You will do much more with the remnants of the Prince estate than she ever would, but we didn't think you would appreciate it if she came to harm. She is still a pure-blooded witch, after all. She has been obliviated, and she is now living a comfortable life somewhere else as someone else. I did a little digging, and I discovered that though your mother was disinherited, her offspring are still entitled to the Prince estate. I'm sorry to say that there isn't much left but-" Malfoy shrugged. "A letter from Gringotts should be along in a few days to explain the rest."

"And now," Malfoy said, spinning back to face Severus, "you should change out of those… muggle things. The Dark Lord is waiting for you to show your thanks in person."

A quiet instinct told Severus to not appear too controlled- to show some amount of vulnerability. "You mean it- my mother is really safe?"

"I do. Tonight, I can give you proof."

Severus bowed his head. "Then thank you- for your part in this, I mean. You can't know how much this means to me; I have been granted my liberty."

Malfoy smiled brilliantly, though the smile did not quite reach his pale eyes. "Save your thanks for the Dark Lord- he is truly responsible for your liberation. He will liberate all of wizardkind."

Severus bowed again, and then he turned and mounted the stairs, summoning his trunk behind him. When he was safely locked inside of the bathroom, he cast several security spells, and then wrote a hurried note.

It's happening tonight. Please wait for me at the cottage.

Then he closed the note into his locket, and whispered James's name. He wrote a similar note for Lily, and then took the necklace off and placed it inside his carefully warded trunk.

#

The memories were flowing more quickly once again, past the Dark Lord's initiation- which was burned into Severus's memories- and to the aftermath, which he had forgotten.

Severus had stumbled through the front door at Spinner's end, and had cast a few security charms with shaking hands. Then he took five long, deep breaths to steady himself, and spun in place, apparating.

He found himself in a muggy greenhouse that smelled strongly of herbs and earth. A sharp pain pierced his right hand, and he looked down in horror to see that he had not splinched himself, but had spliced himself with a rhododendron, the leaves of which now pierced all the way through his hand.

Note to self- demand that Potter set up an apparition point anywhere but the greenhouse.

Clutching his hand, Severus stumbled through the lawn to the back door, where he rang the bell before a miasma swam before his eyes, and he fell.

When the miasma cleared, he found himself laying on a chaise lounge in an elegant sitting room. James leaned over him, his expression intense with concentration as he ran his wand over Severus's prone body.

"I've removed the leaves from his hand," James said softly, speaking to some unseen person. "There is extensive nerve damage. He will need something very strong."

"The draught of peace," Lily's voice echoed as though from another room. In a few moments, she entered Severus's field of vision.

She knelt down next to James and opened a vial. "Hey, Sev. You think you can sit up a little? I don't want you to choke on this. "

Severus struggled to sit up, still shaking, and Lily piled cushions behind him. Then she held the vial to his lips and tipped the contents gently into his mouth.

The potion took effect immediately, and Severus's shaking melted into a steady warmth. James ran his wand down Severus's front again, and then nodded with satisfaction when a flickering blue light appeared.

"Your nerves are repairing, but it will take time for them to fully heal." James turned back to Lily. "He'll need to take another dose of the potion every five hours. Is there enough?"

"I made enough to last for one week, at that rate," Lily said. She slumped next to the chaise and took Severus's hand. "From your condition- can I infer that the Dark Lord discovered our plan?"

Severus laughed shakily. "Oh no- this is how he treats all of his followers."

James's expression grew hard. "You can't be serious."

"I am." Severus pulled up his sleeve, revealing the dark mark- fresh and angry against his pale skin.

James's eyes went wide, and Lily sucked in a sharp breath.

"The Dark Lord subjected each of us to legilimency, but all of my damning memories were safe. I've learned to compartmentalize quite well, you see. Afterward, we had to 'run the gauntlet' to test our loyalty and devotion, to each other and to the Dark Lord."

"The gauntlet?" Lily asked quietly.

"All of the initiated followers, one after another, subjected us to the cruciatus curse," Severus said. "We were allowed to scream, and cry, but we could not ask for it to stop. I shudder to think what would have happened if any of us had asked for it to stop."

"That explains the nerve damage," James said.

"Severus- I had no idea. I knew that it would be dangerous if he found out," Lily said, "but if I'd known he was this mad…"

"This is the sort of thing most criminal groups engage in," Severus said. "Price's gang back home challenges their new recruits, as well. They are beaten by all the members of the gang, and they are forced to drink until they are sick."

"Sadists, the lot of them," Lily said with a shiver, still clutching Severus's hand. "We will fight, Sev. I promise, we will do everything we can to help you fight him."

"You must stay here until you are well," James said gently. "I'll have Blinky prepare a room for you."

"Should I make some excuse to your parents?" Lily asked.

"They- they're gone," Severus said, swallowing a sudden hoarseness.

"Gone?" James whispered.

"My dad is gone for good, and Mother- I don't know where…"

Severus's voice broke, and all of the feelings he'd been keeping deep inside came rushing out. For the first time in many years, Severus wept.

Lily and James held Severus until the weeping had subsided, and he slipped into unconsciousness once more.