Disclaimer: Fairy Tail and the characters are owned by Hiro Mashima. I own this story based on Mashima's work

What I've always wanted to say

"It's my own fault. I was defeated by my weakness. There was such a huge divide between my dream and reality, my heart couldn't face it." Jellal Fernandes, Chapter 93.

Jellal made his way slowly up the staircase to Makarov's office. The last time he was in that office was over four weeks ago when he started interning at Fairy Tail Country Club.

I wonder why he asked to see me, Jellal wondered as he walked, contented to take his time.

He was over halfway though his internship and nothing had gone as he'd planned. He was there to atone for his sins. His objective was to work diligently, but most importantly, quietly. He didn't intend to get involved with anyone, especially Natsu and Erza.

That was never the plan.

Instead, through some bitter twists of fate, their lives became almost thoroughly entangled. The friendship between the Conbolts, Erza and Natsu had only grown from strength to strength in the weeks since the Festival. Jellal felt lucky that he didn't have to spend time with them during the day but he did go along with them after work and during the weekends until he could find a reason to escape. He denied adamantly the part of him that, over time, didn't want to escape - the part that was enjoying their company, but Ultear had seen it and instead of being his escape, she chose to go along with the group.

Jellal couldn't understand what had gotten into Ultear. She'd decided on her own that he needed to talk to Erza and Natsu. She seemed to think that it was only by crawling through the ashes of the past that they would all be able to face the future.

The first step to forgiveness was acknowledging your mistakes, she'd said.

"You fix the past by facing it and then you either walk forward together or apart," she'd said. "If everything blows up, fine, at least you'll know you tried to acknowledge your wrong. It's the best you can do for them, and for yourself, and a much better alternative to this bizarre 'let's-pretend-it-never-happened' situation you got going here."

But Jellal was unyielding. He wasn't interested in forgiveness, he was only interested in receiving his rightful punishment. There was just too much pain there; pain that was better left buried.

So Ultear took her counsel into her own hands, pushing the three into situations where they would have to be together. Like during the camping trip the previous weekend. Ultear was supposed to go with Jellal to get the firewood but instead she asked Natsu to go with him.

And Natsu had agreed.

Jellal shook his head slowly as he took his next step. He couldn't understand Natsu and Erza either. They seemed to be changing. In the beginning, their distrust was evident and their manner with him was cold and strained. But over time, Jellal noticed their distrust gave way to doubt, and then their doubt gave way to hesitation. After a while even the hesitations weren't there any more. Nor did he sense the tension. They weren't warm or friendly but they weren't cold either. Jellal knew they were feeling him out, working out how to be with him, but he couldn't figure out why.

And with those confusing feelings Jellal stepped unto the landing and knocked on Makarov's door.

Aries came to the door and opened it for him. She bowed lightly as she let him in, letting herself out and closing the door quietly behind her. Jellal's eyes widened when he saw the two who were waiting for him in the room.

Natsu and Erza were leaning on Makarov's desk, papers scattered haphazardly on the desk behind them.

"Er-" he started slowly, his anxiety rising, but the redhead cut him off and indicated to the coffee table in the room. Three coffees and some cakes were arranged perfectly around it.

"Have a seat, Jellal," she said, her voice ringing with authority.

Unsettled, Jellal did as he was asked and took a seat around the small coffee table. His hosts made no effort to join him. Instead, the redhead reached behind her and pulled out one of the folders buried in the middle of a pile. Slowly, she opened it and began flicking though it.

Jellal's heart was pounding. He was visibly flustered. He could tell from Erza's tone that they weren't here for small talk. Natsu and Erza's aura had captured the room. Everything about them was dominant, imposing and impressive. The way they were now commanded silence and obedience. Jellal had never seen either of them like this before, he imagined them the striking image of their parents.

"In delivering this verdict the court recognises and acknowledges the following," Erza started reading from the folder in front of her. Jellal froze. He knew this. He knew this word for word. Of course he did, he had read it every day for almost a year trying to understand why. Why everyone in the world had felt it necessary to be merciful when he deserved so much more.

"We recognise the extensive and unchallenged evidence brought before the court during this trial which show, beyond doubt, that the minor was unduly influenced and was an unwilling participant in the activities that took place at Oak Town Baked Goods on the night in question."

"The court also recognises that no evidence was brought forward to show that the minor had planned or expected to carry out the crimes that took place on that night."

"The court further acknowledges the separate confession by two former employees of Oak Town Community Centre who have admitted to planning the activities at Oak Town Baked Goods and to manipulating the motives and opportunity provided by the minor for their own purposes."

"These former employees also confessed to providing the minor with the means to commit a crime which, their confession states, they planned together and coerced the minor to carry out."

"The court refers to Exhibit A, the lighter believed to have started the fire at Oak Town Baked Goods. It was found at the scene of the crime and belongs to one of the adults who confessed to committing the offences related to this case."

Erza read on, this time with a hint of emotion tinting her voice.

"In delivering this verdict the court also considered statements from the minor's attending psychologist and the arresting officers on the mental state of the minor. These statements are included in the trial records and have been reviewed by an independent external advisor as evidence of the impact of the crime on the minor."

Natsu glanced at Erza briefly. When they'd first read Jellal's psychological assessments in the court records a couple of weeks before they were both stunned. The records painted the picture of a fragile and broken boy who deeply regretted his actions. They also painted the picture of a boy who was carrying all the responsibility for the events of that night. Natsu and Erza could not believe that the dispassionate Jellal that they saw everyday was hiding all of this guilt, responsibility and pain behind his aloofness.

Natsu fixed his gaze back on Jellal as Erza continued.

"In this case there is ample evidence to show that a child was manipulated and used to commit a crime by adults he trusted. What makes the deed worse is that the child's motives were innocent, inherently those of a child: wanting to protect something important to him. That such a pure motive was used to influence a minor, well, it is the view of this court that this presents a gross violation of the rights of a child and a failure of us as adults and as a community to protect our children."

Erza stopped there but Jellal knew what came next. The defendant was found guilty of arson and larceny, and, because of the various 'considerations', 'recognitions' and 'acknowledgements' that the trial raised, he only served two years outside of prison for his crime.

Jellal hid his face in his hands. He was so ashamed to face them. They didn't get any justice.

There was a long silence where no one knew what to say next. Eventually, Erza's firm voice broke through the silence.

"It's all there" she said motioning her head to the papers strewn across Makarov's desk. Jellal didn't see it though, he kept his shame and his guilt buried behind his hands. "All the evidence, all the statements about what happened that night, your parents' statements, the statements from your friends at the community centre; they're all right there in the court records."

Still Jellal kept silent, his remorse palpable in the thick silence.

"Is it true?" Natsu asked, his voice recovering from the tension in the room. "Is it true that you didn't know who we were when you met us?"

Jellal looked up, surprised. Was that really what Natsu wanted to ask? After all this time?

He nodded slowly.

"Probably a week or so after we met I found out who you two were."

Natsu and Erza watched as Jellal's mind was dragged unwillingly back in time, to a time that had remained frozen for him all these years. Jellal slouched in his seat and sighed loudly. Raking his hands aggressively through his hair, he let himself get buried in the thoughts that overcame him.

When he spoke again it was musing and bitter, "they said all I had to do was get some keys for them." Jellal scoffed at his naivety. "Just get them some keys and all the kids would be fine. They made it sound so simple, so easy, so, so … natural, like it was the right and responsible thing to do. They made it sound as if not doing it would be wrong. So I stole a key. When I tried to give it to them they refused to take it. Instead, they gave me this lighter and told me that I was ready for the next step. I had no idea. Erza," he looked at Erza with a horrified expression. "I had no idea. I refused, but they- I- I- I don't know why, I looked down at the key in my hand and thought that I had no choice. It was like I'd already done it, like I'd already crossed the line with just this key in my hand. It was like there was no going back. I was so stupid."

"I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry."

With those words Jellal couldn't hold his emotions back any longer, they burst violently from him as if freed from some dark tomb where they had been buried all this time.

For all these years all Jellal ever wanted, and felt he didn't deserve, was the chance to say he was sorry.

Natsu and Erza looked at each other. They'd been through all of this themselves in the past weeks as they read through the court records one by one. First they denied it, they couldn't believe what the courts had decided. Then, the more they read the more the evidence piled up. Someone was to blame for what happened, but it wasn't Jellal. The two people who were to blame were still in jail for the crimes they committed at that time, not just using Jellal but all the other illegal activities they were involved in.

The more Natsu and Erza read, the more Jellal seemed like the weapon that was used to hurt them and not the person holding the weapon. But unlike other weapons, this weapon wasn't an object. This weapon was a human. A human boy. As Natsu and Erza read the court statements and watched Jellal with the Conbolts, they realised that not only was that weapon a human, but it was a human who was, fundamentally, kind-hearted.

That last part was the hardest to accept, but as the evidence piled on, it was also the hardest part to deny.

Natsu looked to Erza who nodded.

It was time to put past hurts behind them; not for Jellal but for themselves.

"Jellal," Erza said to Jellal's crouched form. He'd composed himself but he still could not bear to look at them.

"We don't blame you."

With those words Jellal turned to them, his eyes wide and disbelieving.

"Wh- what?"

"Just what I said, we don't blame you. We know you blame yourself but we don't blame you. We've read though everything we could get our hands on, believe me, and they all point to the same conclusion; you were not directly behind what happened that night."

Before Jellal could contradict them Natsu jumped in, this time with his own set of papers.

"It looks like our parents thought the same thing."

Jellal stared at Natsu in shock.

"Those guys who planned this were right about one thing; a fire would get attention. When all of this happened our parents got involved. The Oak Town project was a small contract run by one of our subsidiaries. It seems the management there thought they could use Erza and me to boost their image. We were never there to be exposed to the business. We were there for appearance; so the developers could show off some kids - just like you guys who were opposing the project. Except we were kids with power - we were an example of how important this project was to our companies … and an example of the kind of kids they wanted this project to represent."

Natsu couldn't hide his anger when he said those last words. The rancour in his voice burned right through Erza and Jellal.

"We were nothing but faces - faces and leverage."

"I checked and Dragneel Construction and Scarlett Steel both pulled out of the Oak Town project after this incident. The parking lot was built - but it wasn't by us. If it was, I'd have it razed to the ground."

Erza smiled softly as she took in her childhood friend. She recognised this side of Natsu, it was the side of him that came out when Natsu was defending something important. When he was serious Natsu was infinitely more capable and dependable than anyone gave him credit for.

And then, just as it had appeared, the apparition dissolved and Natsu transformed into his natural, playful self.

"Oh crap, it's 12! Lucy's on Lunch. Gotta run," he exclaimed scrambling off the desk and running to the door. Before exiting he tossed Jellal his signature grin, "see ya around, Jellal."

Jellal and Erza stared at the closed door behind Natsu.

"He's so changeable, it's hard to keep up," Jellal commented, quietly rising from his seat. He looked at the coffees and cakes left untouched on the coffee table.

Such a pity…

"Jellal," Erza called to his retreating back. Like Natsu, she too had a question she wanted answered.

"How much of it was a lie?"

She asked the question that was buried deepest inside. After all these years, if she searched her heart, was that really the only question she wanted answered?

Jellal didn't turn to her but he answered her honestly.

"I planned how I would get the key, but I didn't do anything I didn't already want to do - or wouldn't have done regardless," he answered before slipping out the door.

§§§

"I'll take Flame," Natsu said to Lucy as they exited the woods into the glade. They hadn't come here since the second week of Lucy's internship but this was the only place Natsu could think of that might raise Lucy's spirits.

"Thanks," Lucy said as she dismounted and gave Flame's reins to Natsu. She walked through the glade and sat down in the same spot where they first sat and where they had their first kiss. Even though she was being friendly, she was not herself. Her eyes were distant and thoughtful, as they'd been all week. With only a few weeks left together Natsu didn't want things to remain this way. He hoped she would talk to him.

It was over two weeks ago that they started dating and every day the energy and attraction between them grew stronger. The more they laughed together, the more they learnt about each other, the more playful little disagreements they had, the more they realised how much they fit with each other. How much they accepted each other. The affection, pleasure and trust that they felt when they were with each other only got easier and more natural.

Neither had said anything to their friends about the change in their relationship. It wasn't something they'd agreed to do but each noticed that as time passed the other didn't reveal anything. In time it became a silent understanding and agreement between them. They just wanted to spend time together, tending the bond that was growing between them. The time would come when they would be able to say it. For now, they just wanted to cherish their relationship as something special and private between them.

But they also didn't want to lie to their friends. So even though they didn't say anything clearly, they were sure that their friends noticed the growing closeness between them.

Lucy had one ground rule though, no dating at work. She liked when Natsu waited with her while she worked and always looked forward to it. But "no funny business", she'd said. In that first week Natsu did try, oh you bet he did, and that's when he got to know Scary Lucy - quite intimately. Scary Lucy was not very different from Erza, so 'funny business' was a no-go on Club grounds. Except here in the glade which was not the Club's but theirs.

Natsu sat down in his usual spot next to her.

"So, you gonna tell me what's up?" he asked, not one for subtleties or preamble.

Lucy's eyes widened but she didn't turn to face him. She'd learnt that he could tell when something was wrong and had guessed he was going to ask her. Lucy knew she wasn't being fair to him being so distracted when they were together but the longer this silence carried on, the more anxious and preoccupied she became. It had been three days already.

She was quiet for so long that Natsu tried to encourage her a little.

"You and Loke still fighting?" he asked rocking sideways and tapping her shoulder gently with his.

Lucy felt the tears prick at her eyelids as the emotion she'd been hiding surged yet again. Suddenly she felt an overwhelming urge to be in Natsu's arms. She felt as if all the hurt would go away if only she was in there. Just like last time. So without a word or warning she slid over in front of Natsu and settled between his legs, her back to his chest. Surprised, but sensing what she wanted, her boyfriend reached over and pulled her to him.

As she'd guessed, the move quieted the insistent rumblings in her heart.

Natsu took that as his answer but he couldn't help her through this if she didn't talk to him. So he let his eyes float to the town of Magnolia in the distance and waited while she decided what she wanted to do.

This was another one of the struggles Lucy had been having over the last couple of days. As if Loke not speaking to her wasn't enough, she had been trying to work out how much of what happened was between her and Loke, and how much was between her, Loke and Natsu. She didn't want to break Loke's confidence but she didn't want to be dishonest with Natsu either.

It was much too complicated.

While he waited Natsu's mind went back to three days before, to Sunday. Everyone had spent Saturday night camping in the mountains. The ones who wanted to had camped outside. The ones who preferred indoor plumbing had "camped" inside a nearby cabin. When they all got together for breakfast on Sunday morning Loke and Lucy were missing. Apparently, they had gone to watch the sunrise together. They'd returned separately. Loke first, and much later, when the group was almost ready to set out, Lucy came back. There were rumblings among the Conbolts about a pretty serious fight. True or not, Loke and Lucy had kept their distance from each other on the hike down the mountain and didn't even say a proper goodbye when they got back to Magnolia. Everyone else walked on eggshells around them, careful not the set off a landmine on either side. Natsu was worried but Lucy had kept her distance from him as well so he couldn't find out if she was okay.

Just as he was about to reach out to her again Lucy straightened up, her eyes focused on the horizon in front of them. She took his hands in hers, twining her fingers securely though his. When her voice came it was slow and unsteadily.

"Loke is in love with me. He's been in love with me for as long as he can remember."

Natsu's body tensed, an automatic signal that he wasn't ready for this kind of conversation.

Lucy squeezed his hand in hers, reminding him of where she was right then. It was an uncomfortable conversation but Natsu didn't have any reason to feel uneasy about it. Still, he pulled her closer to him, as if suddenly aware that as easily as she came to him, she could slip away.

"He asked me if I felt anything for him, if I wanted to go out with him to see how I felt."

Lucy paused, replaying the memory for maybe the five-hundredth time in the last three days.

"I thought about it a lot. Not what I wanted to answer - I knew my answer, but I didn't know the best way to answer. I've known him since I was four. I could never hurt him."

"In the end, all I could say was, 'I'm sorry'. I told him I loved him, that I've loved him all my life, but the love I have for him is different from the love he has for me."

There was a long period where neither said anything; where Natsu just tried to digest what he heard and work out how he felt. This was a lot of information for him to take in - and much too fast. Lucy, still distracted, only dug anxiously into Natsu's finger tips.

Natsu knew he'd recently gotten protective of his girlfriend, especially when it came to other guys going too far.

But this wasn't 'other guys'. This was Loke.

He couldn't be protective this time. Loke had always been with her. He'd been with her through the best and worst parts of her life; all the things Natsu didn't know and Lucy still couldn't talk to him about. Loke's bond with her went deeper than his. Natsu felt as if it wasn't his place to protect her. This time he could support her but she would have to decide what she wanted to do.

His thoughts strayed to Loke, his new friend. Loke was fun and he was obviously loyal to his friends. He'd stayed by Lucy all this time, supporting her. Natsu was sure that Loke's feelings for Lucy were as real and as serious as his own. He wondered what it took for Loke to hold his feelings in for years - Natsu couldn't even suppress his for three weeks.

But even as he thought about Loke, Natsu was happy that it was his own feelings that Lucy returned. And he definitely wasn't letting her go, even if good people got hurt because of it.

He shook his head trying to reshuffle all the complicated thoughts coming at him at the same time. Order didn't come. Neither did the right way to feel. It's not like he could pretend that he wasn't happy that Lucy's feelings were for him. It wasn't like he could pretend he wasn't sorry for Loke - even if that was shameful given where he was sitting. He couldn't pretend that his views on this - whatever they were - even mattered right now. All that mattered was what Lucy thought.

After a long time, Lucy turned to face the pale boy behind her. She wanted to get through the conversation now that she'd started it. Her eyes met his as she said her next words.

"He asked me if my answer had anything to do with you."

She smiled sorrowfully. Natsu tried to return the smile but his brain was still reeling.

"What did you tell him?" he murmured, so low it was almost impossible to hear.

"No," Lucy answered, plainly.

"And yes. No, because it is not you, not really. I don't feel the same way he does and it wouldn't be fair to give him any hope that I do. Even if you weren't here, now that I know this feeling, the answer would be the same. So it's not you."

She paused to collect her thoughts before continuing.

"But yes, it's also you, because if it weren't for you I wouldn't even know that my feelings aren't the same as his."

Lucy blushed hotly, refusing to meet his eyes. She knew she was about to say something thoroughly embarrassing.

"You showed me these feelings, Natsu," she said slowly, certainly. "I've never felt like this ever before in my entire life. This kind of happiness with someone else, it feels like this magic that's shining brighter and brighter inside me every day. And I only know it now because of you."

Lucy cringed internally.

We've definitely not been dating long enough for words like that, she scolded herself.

Her blush only got worse when she dared to look at Natsu and caught the heated way he was looking at her. His eyes were burning into her. She quickly blocked his view of her with her hands.

"Don't look at me! It's embarrassing," she cried.

Wordlessly, Natsu put his hand over hers and lowered them, his intense gaze not lifting.

How can he stay so calm all the time, Lucy freaked, keen to get back to the subject at hand - another torrent of emotions entirely.

Composing herself, she tried to continue what she'd started, the boy she'd hurt - the brightest star in her sky - still grinding at her heart.

"Loke feels really betrayed," she confided finally.

Her mind returned to Loke's words, words that weren't for Natsu's ears.

"So you're really going to put this guy before our friendship?" he'd said. "You're not going to give 13 years of friendship a chance because of some guy you just met?"

Lucy tried over and over to convince him that it wasn't the guy. It was the feelings that were different. She tried to show him he was focusing on the wrong thing. But Loke wouldn't listen. He was furious. His hurt was plain - and he took solace in anger.

It was then that he told his story. Everything that he'd felt for her and done for her over the years. The girl's heart broke as she learned just how deeply she'd hurt him. Lucy had no doubt that he loved her and she ached to make it right. She felt guilty for not seeing his feelings, for not treating him seriously all this time. She felt guiltiest because she should have known. That kiss at Bisca and Alzack's wedding, it was a promise, she'd known it. She'd always known it. Her mistake was that she didn't treat it as romantic love. She'd treated it as a promise to be there for each other always in their special relationship. She knew that they'd stumbled along the way but that promise was still buried there - for both of them.

Lucy had listened to him, her and guilt and regret swelling by the second. But even if she'd misunderstood him for so long, even if she'd made all those mistakes that she knew she would never be able to make up for, none of that changed the fact that she couldn't give him what he wanted. She knew for certain that her feelings weren't the same as his.

All she could do was let him say all the things that had been trapped inside him for so long, giving him enormous happiness and pain.

And so it was that on Sunday morning, as the rising summer sun painted the world a brilliant orange, Lucy Heartfilia had stood and watched as the boy who'd been her hero all her life fell to pieces in front of her - and there was absolutely nothing she could do to make it right.

She'd only watched as he stormed off, kept her distance as they'd hiked down the hill, stayed silent as they'd said their goodbyes … and stared at her phone as she waited for him to forgive her.

Natsu watched as she played the events from Sunday morning over in her mind, her tears falling freely. The depth of her feelings for Loke and the pain of her loss were obvious. She'd made her feelings for him clear but Loke was still precious to her. Natsu had no doubt.

"Lucy," he said softly, firmly, taking her by the shoulders and positioning her so she faced him.

Lucy knew she was a mess but she met his eyes.

"You said he's been with you since you were four?"

Lucy nodded, drying her tears.

"He's been with you all this time?"

Again, Lucy only nodded.

Natsu smiled at her reassuringly, as if the answer was only natural. He squeezed her hand gently.

"Then believe in him."

Lucy stared at her boyfriend as she processed his words.

With just four kind words the grating hollowness in Lucy's heart started to fill hope. Natsu could see the brightness return to her eyes and a slow smile pull at her lips as she took in the meaning of his words.

Natsu's right, Lucy thought. I'm so stupid. Did I really think our friendship was so cheap? I'm ashamed of myself. I believe in Loke. I believe in our friendship. We will make it though this.

Lucy was confident. They needed time but she believed their friendship would be okay - she was in no doubt.

Slowly, as the misery in her heart cleared, her thoughts turned from her childhood friend who had been occupying her thoughts all week to the incredible boy in front of her.

This time it was Lucy's turn to stare at Natsu.

How does he do this? How does he always know what I need? How can he give me so much clarity and reassurance just like that? So much that I feel ashamed for even doubting…

Carried by her thoughts, Lucy got up on her knees so that she was raised slightly over Natsu. She leaned in close, absorbed in his hairline. Lost in a dream she just stared at his hair, taking in their tiny details, letting the feelings he aroused in her build inside her. Unwittingly, her hand came up to thumb tenderly through his spiky locks.

She pulled lightly on a pink strand, it's actually softer than I thought. She smiled to herself as she ran her fingers lightly through this hair.

Dreamily, her eyes drifted and caught something interesting a little lower.

Hehe, even his eyebrows are pink, she giggled internally as she moved to brush them lightly. She didn't even notice them pop up under her fingers. She just snickered internally as her fingers memorised their shape. Her thumb stroked the area underneath gently; a perfect natural arch.

She felt his lashes sweep under her palm and smiled mid-eyebrow brush. She'd already noticed his long eyelashes. Her mind floated lazily back to the memory. Once he was sitting at a table at Hemingway House. His chin was on his fist and he looked like he was thinking hard about something. All Lucy could look at were his eyelashes. They captivated her. They made him look so mysterious and attractive, she couldn't pull her eyes away. She wasn't even sure how long she'd stayed that way, watching his eyelashes move up and down, as if the movement was the most impressive thing in the world.

She turned her hand and skimmed the back of her fingers against his cheek. Unknowingly, an appreciative smile graced her lips. Somehow, the smooth curve of his face under her fingers made her feel good. It sent light flutters bubbling along her stomach. She let her fingers linger there enjoying the feel of him as her thumb grazed his cheekbone.

As she raised her eyes to witness the motion her eyes met Natsu's and her breath caught in her throat. Natsu's eyes were darker, deeper and much more intoxicating than she remembered. The way they were drinking her in made her heart hammer dangerously in her chest. Suddenly, she became very aware of his hands on her waist. The heat and pressure of them sent a thrill up her spine. It ignited everything in its path and sent her whole body up into an electric fire. The surging heat quickly drowned all her senses.

Overtaken by a giddy haze of attraction, and guided only by the scent and memory of him, Lucy found his mouth and drew him willingly into her dizzying, swimming dream … slowly at first, then with increasing boldness.

Natsu relented to the flood of her emotion and let himself become immersed in her kiss, experiencing for the first time the depth and force of her feelings for him.

They carried him to an incredible, almost limitless warmth.

Natsu felt he could trust himself to this warmth all his life…

And with that realisation, Natsu's hand glided to the back of her head and his own fire took over. It poured from him like hot lava and coursed though her. Any senses Lucy had left veered deep into her mind's abyss. There were no thoughts left for either of them, just the raw power of their feelings for each other.

They surfaced slowly from the dream, overwhelmed by the strength of it yet wanting to linger in it for as long as they could. In a breathless daze her name spilled from his lips. He rested his nose on hers, nuzzling it gently.

As lucidity returned Natsu stopped himself from saying the words that begged to flow out of him most.

§§§

Lucy snuck up to Natsu as he prepared Thunder, a cunning smile on her face. She hugged his arm tenderly and looked up at him with big, pleading eyes. Natsu glanced down at her knowing full well she was up to something.

"Naaaatsu," she sang playfully.

"Lucy," he responded, as bluntly as he could muster.

"Natsu, can I take Thunder?" she asked, blinking her eyes craftily.

Natsu just looked at her, his 'no' apparent even without words.

Knowing he was serious, Lucy descended into the second manipulation tactic in her arsenal: whining.

"Buuuttt Naaatsu," she complained.

"Lucy, really, you never know what he's going to do you know that. What if he just takes off?"

"But he's never been like that with me. I have never seen him being temperamental. Ever. Natsu please," she begged.

Natsu didn't answer but Lucy could see she was wearing him down.

"Natsu, you'll be right here. Nothing will happen. Please."

Natsu sighed. Lucy could see he was thinking about it seriously this time. Finally, he handed her the reins. Lucy grabbed it excitedly. She loved Flame, but there was something special about Thunder.

"Don't go far from me, okay," Natsu advised an inattentive Lucy as he mounted Flame.

He kept his eyes on her as she mounted and watched Thunder for any sign he was stressed or unhappy. Thunder only swung his tail loosely.

Maybe we're really overthinking this, he thought.

They set out easily, taking the eastern woods out of the glade. They started at a slow trot. As he watched, Natsu's nerves gradually calmed and slowly his guard dropped. He was sure everything would be fine.

As they built up to a nice canter Natsu cast a glance at Lucy, she looked so happy. This was different from when she rode Flame. There was something ethereal about her expression, as if she was letting everything go as she rode - even the world itself. It was as if it was just her and Thunder - and the space between them and the furthest their eyes could see. She looked so happy that Natsu let Lucy and Thunder increase the distance between them. He watched them go, his attention to Flame waning with every passing second.

He didn't notice that he and Flame had practically stopped or that Lucy and Thunder were going at full gallop until it was too late. He tapped Flame lightly with his legs and they took off after Lucy and Thunder.

As they closed the distance between them, Natsu witnessed something he never thought he'd see. Lucy was holding the reins but she'd let herself go completely. She'd released all control and left Thunder to run without bounds. The stallion was speeding forward, unrestrained and free, but he wasn't running wild and undisciplined. Through it all the girl on his back stayed effortlessly in place, as if by some magical force.

He's carrying her.

It hit Natsu like a ton of bricks. He wasn't watching a girl ride a horse. He was watching a horse steal a girl away and take her into his world. Natsu stopped Flame and watched the infinite trust between his girl and his horse. He could not imagine where that kind of bond could come from.

By the time he guided Flame into the stables Lucy and Thunder were already there. Lucy had dismounted. She had her arms wrapped tightly around Thunder. Her arms were stretched so far out, it was as if she wanted to pull all of Thunder into her heart.

From the corner of his eyes Natsu spotted Sagittarius. Their eyes met and the stable master put a finger to his lips.

Even Sagittarius can't bear to disturb them, Natsu thought as he led Flame quietly around them. Natsu was sure he heard Lucy whispering "I'm sorry," over and over into Thunder's neck as he passed them.

Sagittarius looked on, his heart sore from the ache of watching Lucy and her Beast.

We know our horse the moment we take that first step together, he thought miserably, we don't need any other proof than that.

A/N

Timeline: Weekend events might help to keep track of where we are in time. Or does this just make it infinitely more confusing?

Week 0 (Banquet) — — — — — (Special1)
Week 1 — — — — — (Magnolia Festival)
Week 2 — — — — — (First date)
Week 3 — — — — — (Stay-at-home date - Special 3)
Week 4 — — — — — (Camping trip - flashback - this chapter)
Week 5 — — (This chapter)

Loke was the first to give Lucy "the light of love" (chapter 115) and I wanted to stay true to that.

Everything from when Lucy starts inspecting Natsu to the end of that section was written to the Fairy Tail Main Theme (Slow) and in my warped head the scene matched the tempo of the music.

We met Beast in Chapter 6

Okay so, I really, really hope you guys enjoyed that - even a little bit. I worked super hard to get it to a place where I felt okay with releasing it.

Please leave a review and let me know what you thought. Thanks so much everyone!

Till next time - bye bye!