Chapter 31: They're Gone

Meredith's Point-of-View

"I don't know who you are and you're bothering me." She muttered from across the table "You need to just go, I have work to do."

"Mom." I sighed, "It's me, Meredith."

"Well, I don't have time to deal with you and your problems."

"I'm not here to talk about my problems." I drilled lightly "I'm here to talk about yours."

"I'm a surgeon." She said as she scribbled on a newspaper "I don't have any problems other than interns pestering me about their problems."

"You were going to kill yourself." I blurted, her scrawling stopped and her hand shook a little "I know I'm not around as much as I should be Mom, but you don't need to kill yourself."

She was quiet for a few long moments, she refused to look at me, "I cannot live like this." She hissed and looked up at me with a flare in her eyes "I cannot live like this any longer." I gulped, for a second it seemed as if she had been lucid, and then her eyes darted around the room "You interns have got to realize that I have real work to do and save your need for instructions for rounds!"

I let out a sigh of defeat "Ok, you win."

She seemed to relax into her seat and let out a soft sigh "I know I'm hard on you, but if I'm not you'll never learn to be a good doctor."

"I know." I mumbled. "I appreciate it."

"Good." She muttered. "You should realize as soon as possible that life isn't perfect."

"Oh trust me, I know." I sighed "I saw Richard today."

"Richard Webber?" her brow raised, "How is he?"

"He's doing well." I said. "He was asking about you."

Her lips pressed together firmly "Well he shouldn't... he wanted to stay with his wife, I should have never had any feelings for him. The wife won." She looked up at me square in the eyes and whispered, "The wife always wins."

I heard myself inhale sharply as suddenly I felt the need to bolt from my seat. I felt like I'd taken everything for granted in my life, in my heart, he was mine, he was ALL mine. I was his WIFE, and I didn't just let him go, no, I TOLD him to go. How incredibly stupid I felt.

"I have to go."

She nodded without looking up, just as she always did. I didn't want to take my mother for granted either, but I was losing time for Derek too. I needed to find him, and I needed to find him fast. I raced through the streets of Seattle, I searched the hospital, but he was gone, his name wasn't even on the surgical floor, I couldn't find Amelia either. I raced across the street to Joe's surely Cristina would know where they were, but all I found was an empty bar and its owner.

"Joe." I gasped out of breath.

"Hey Mer." He smiled as he wiped the bar down "Miss me?"

"They're gone." I panted, "They're all gone."

"Who are you looking for?"

"The Shepherds." I said "Cristina, Amelia, Derek, any or all will do."

"Oh you didn't hear?" he frowned "There was a change in wedding location, they all flew out this morning."

"What." I gasped, "Where is it?"

"Toronto."