Chapter Nineteen: Get Your Chemical-Soaked Head Far Away from My Breathing Holes
"i ShOuLd HoPeFuLlY bE gEtTiNg BaCk To ReGuLaR uPdAtEs NoW," they said.
That was before I got to go back to work with less than a day's notice. And in the past eight days, I've worked about 47 hours. That Wednesday was the last time I updated. Coincidence? I think not.
Being back at work has been great—I missed my job so much! And my cat needs to get her teeth cleaned so I could really use the extra money. But I definitely used picking up an excessive amount of shifts as an excuse to avoid confronting my writer's block. But we're making progress.
So updates will probably no longer be every other day, but I'd like to get at least two updates posted per week, most likely one for this story and one for another. Also, working full time is really tiring, so I'll probably slow down in a few weeks and maybe post more then. Either way, I promise I'm still gonna keep writing!
The idea for this chapter came to me because I'M FINALLY BLOND AGAIN! Yay! Sometimes it feels like my entire personality is me trying to be the human version of a Lego character. And I'm okay with that.
CaptainSteve1: I love your long reviews! And I'm attracted to the ninja too. My coworker was asking me questions about my fictional crush the other day because I said something about moving on from real people to fictional characters. He asked what I like about this character, and I'm pretty sure I said something along the lines of "I like shipping him with other characters!" And I'll post my Bruise fanart on my Instagram if I ever finish it.
WalrusWins257: Thank you so much! Gosh, I would love to see the makers of the show include sexual puns and alcohol. I just have to settle for making my own. In Ninja vs. Lava, when Jay said "Cole! You could've smashed Kai!" I responded with "He could've smashed Kai. But he didn't. Cause he was running AWAY from the lava."
serenity: Well, you're in luck, because I have more of Lloyd's drunk fan fiction for a future chapter!
Enjoy this chapter! It's not intended to be canon, but hey, it's not impossible!
A knock on the bathroom door startled Lloyd, causing him to nearly drop the small paintbrush-like tool he was holding against his head. "D-don't come in!" He shouted, fumbling around with a few bottles and bowls lying on the counter.
"Lloyd, hurry up!" Kai whined with a sigh. "I have to pee!"
"Use the other bathroom!"
The brunet rolled his eyes. "Cole's in there. And you know he won't be out any time soon."
The green ninja grimaced. "Oh, right."
Kai jiggled the doorknob. "What are you even doing? You've been in there for almost an hour."
"Has it been that long?" Lloyd asked, shoving the assortment of products into a drawer. "I hadn't noticed."
The red ninja's impatient struggle with the handle paused for a moment. "You're not weighing yourself again, are you?"
"No!" The master of energy assured him. "Of course not."
"Then what are you doing? And don't tell me you're taking a crap. Not even Cole takes an hour to do that."
Lloyd's green eyes flitted around the small room in a panic. He stared at his reflection, narrowing his eyes as he wracked his brain for a solution to his present dilemma. He bit his lip nervously, scanning the room for something to cover his hair with before Kai busted the door down. "Umm...I'm n-not doing anything, Kai," he lied.
Kai huffed. "Yeah, sure. You've been in the bathroom for an hour doing nothing. Come out! Let someone else have a turn. Go do 'nothing' in your room!"
"Alright, alright. I'm coming." He tossed a towel on his head and unlocked the door, slipping past the red ninja as quickly as he could.
"Hey, what the…"
Before Lloyd could get away, Kai whirled around and grabbed the towel, pulling it off to reveal Lloyd's matted hair, roots soaked in bleach. The blond shrieked in protest and cursed as Kai's brown eyes widened in surprise.
The brunet blinked. "Are you...dyeing your hair?"
"No!" The green ninja said defensively, crossing his arms. "I'm bleaching it."
Kai stared at him in disbelief. "Why?"
"Uh, because my roots are growing out," he replied, rolling his eyes indignantly. "Why do you think?"
Kai narrowed his eyes as he leaned closer to Lloyd, staring intently at the bleach-soaked few centimeters of brown hair closest to his scalp. "Wait...you're a brunet?" He asked in shock.
"I wasn't," Lloyd defended himself, arms still folded across his chest. "I was blond as a kid. Then once the Tomorrow's Tea made me older, my hair started growing in brown. It wasn't super noticeable when I spent so much time in the sun, but it's obvious as heck since I've been stuck inside all the time."
The look of confusion was still plastered across Kai's surprised face. "Have you been dyeing your hair this whole time?"
"Bleaching," the blond corrected. "But before quarantine, I only had to do it once every so often, 'cause my roots got lightened by the sun and blended in pretty well." He huffed. "Both my parents used to have brown hair. You didn't really think I was a natural blond, did you?"
Kai shrugged. "I just kinda figured your mom cheated with Wu."
Lloyd's brows furrowed in anger and he opened his mouth to protest. Before he could retort, Kai continued.
"Why didn't you just leave it brown? What's wrong with brown hair?" He questioned, gesturing to his own spiky chocolate mane.
"I don't know," Lloyd admitted. "I guess so many things about me changed, I wanted to make sure at least one thing stayed the same. You and I both know how much of a control freak I can be."
The red ninja thought for a moment, then nodded. "That makes sense. Besides, being blond really matches your personality. To be honest, I can't really imagine you with any other color hair." He laughed. "I'm glad I'm not the ninja who puts the most effort into their hair after all!"
Lloyd chuckled. "Hey, I do this once a month or so. You spend at least thirty minutes putting gel in your hair every day!"
"Alright, fine," Kai conceded. "You got me there." He instinctively reached forward to ruffle Lloyd's hair, pulling back at the last second as the green ninja himself pulled away, an amused smirk gracing his lips.
"Whoa, don't you dare!" The blond ordered. "At least wait 'til I wash the bleach out."
"Oh, right. Force of habit, I guess." He settled for tickling Lloyd's stomach affectionately.
The green ninja gasped and giggled, pulling away from his friend's playful touch. All of a sudden, his smile disappeared and he eyed the brunet nervously. "Hey, Kai?"
"Yeah?"
Lloyd bit his lip. "Can we, uh, can we keep this between us? I...I don't want the others knowing how much effort I put into my appearance."
The red ninja gave the green a reassuring smile. "Of course, buddy. Your secret's safe with me."
"Thank you," Lloyd said, releasing a small sigh of relief.
"Don't mention it," Kai murmured. "But don't feel bad for caring about the way you look. I know everyone on our team pays more attention to their physical appearance than they let on."
Lloyd blinked. "Really?"
The master of fire nodded. "Really. I mean, I for one don't even try to hide the fact that I spend way too much time and money styling my own hair. Nya and Cole regularly put on a little makeup—and I have to admit, I've borrowed some of my sister's eyeliner and concealer before—and even Jay's been known to wear concealer and dress to the nines to impress Nya. And Zane...well, Zane's a fucking robot."
The blond laughed. "Good point." He stepped forward and hugged Kai's waist, being careful not to get bleach on the taller ninja's face. "Thank you, Kai." He breathed.
Kai wrapped his arms around Lloyd and hugged him back. "Anytime, Green Machine." He winced as he breathed in through his nose, the overwhelming scent of bleach filling his nostrils. "Now, as much as I love hugging you, I'm gonna need you to get your chemical-soaked head far away from my breathing holes, thank you very much."
There's actually a meme for this... You know that meme format that has the brain lighting up more and more with each statement? Well it goes like this:
Natural blond
Lloyd is blond because the sun lightened it
Lloyd dyes his hair
Lloyd is blond because Misako cheated on Garmadon with Wu
XD
Also, here's an actual conversation I had with my brother a few weeks ago:
Brother: Lloyd is related to Sensei Wu, who's the straightest, most masculine man on the show. There's no way he can be gay when he's related to such a stud.
Me: But I'm related to you.
Brother: [His name].exe has stopped working. But you're not my descendant.
Me: Lloyd's not Wu's descendant.
Brother: Or is he?
Me: He is blond...
Okay, I hope you enjoyed that random silliness. I don't actually think Lloyd is Wu's son. It's more likely that he dyes his hair, or that two brown-haired parents had a blond kid. Both of my parents are naturally brunet, and my brother is a natural blond, so it definitely happens. Just a little headcannon to make me feel more like Lloyd I guess. I actually rewrote one of my fics and made Lloyd non-binary, which made me feel super validated. Maybe I'll post it?
Have a great week everyone! Make like a ninja, and wear a mask! :)