(Author's note: There is much less Earnest in this chapter than there was Romeo & Juliet in the previous several, but it would absolutely behoove you to see a stage production of Earnest, if you are at all curious. There are a lot of really boring productions on YouTube. And there's the 2002 movie with Hugh Grant, of course, which is… fine. There's an excellent production available on the Broadway HD channel on Amazon Prime, but you have to pay for it. There's a currently free video of a good one with subtitles on Curve Theater's website, though it's shot from far away. -amy)

It turned out that dress rehearsal felt drastically different from the stumblethrough, primarily because they had an audience: a very loud audience.

"It's a tradition," said Bethany, turning around. "For the junior campers to heckle us during the dress rehearsal, like the audience of the Globe did back then. It gets us ready for any reaction the real audience might have. Fasten the snaps on the neck of my dress, would you?"

The costumes themselves weren't too different from the kind of outfits extravagant rich teenagers might wear to parties. Since Bryce had chosen a contemporary Italian setting for Romeo & Juliet, it was reasonable to assume nobody would expect petticoats and pantaloons, but their audience still seemed confused.

"Who are you supposed to be?" called one of the boys in the front row to Kurt as he helped set up the props.

"I'm a soccer player," Kurt called back, gesturing to his outfit.

"No, I mean, your character. Aren't you Juliet?"

"Julian."

He smirked. "Romeo's boyfriend?"

"That's right." He sighed to Anthony as he strode by in Mercutio's leather jacket, carrying a bench. "Why am I letting them bait me?"

"Because it's who you are." Anthony smiled.

Kurt eyed him. "You're in unusually good spirits."

"Am I?" Anthony's grin did not abate.

"Okay, spill."

Anthony just laughed. "You want me to dish my dirt on stage?"

"They can't even hear us. Does this have something to do with a particular kinsman of yours?"

Anthony moved the bench into its proper location, marked by pieces of tape on the stage, then leaned on it. He looked entirely, unselfconsciously happy.

Kurt couldn't help but smile back. "You and Oliver, hmmm? How hard do I have to tease you for dating a sophomore?"

"He'll be a junior next year. And he's a hell of a lot more mature than your boyfriend."

That would be true, but it's not like Noah sets the bar all that high. Even after their last encounter, Kurt couldn't find it in him to permit any trash talk about Noah, but he couldn't deny Anthony's statement, either.

They all wore costumes and stage makeup, just as they would on Friday. Many of the cast wore wigs, but Bryce had decided early on that neither Kurt nor Chris would significantly change their hairstyles. Kurt was fully prepared for Noah to arrive for his first scene wearing a wig, but they had left his head bald, with just the hint of the mohawk growing back in.

"He does look every bit the bad boy," said Yvonne, gesturing from the wings at Noah-as-Romeo, conversing with Benvolio in his leather jacket and ripped jeans while the audience whistled and catcalled him.

"It's not as though that's much of a costume," Kurt murmured. "He comes to school like that every day."

"Nice." She sounded envious. "We have to wear uniforms."

Kurt nodded sympathetically. "Been there."

The Capulet party scene felt much wilder with everyone wearing their costumes. Kurt hadn't realized exactly how much harder it would be to focus when everyone was dressed up as somebody else. He hoped that made his drunken revelry more believable.

When Noah finally made eye contact with him across the stage, there were more than a few whistles from the audience, and some laughter, but also some "Ew, gross" comments that were hard to ignore. He wondered if he should attempt to tone down their groping and kissing for this particular audience.

Noah, however, did not allow him to make such a decision. The moment Kurt caught his hand to keep him from falling off the stage, and Noah responded with "If I profane with my worthiest hand," Kurt found himself slipping back into character like it was a tailored suit. The audience's running commentary did nothing to dampen his engagement; if anything, it heightened it.

When he said teasingly to Noah, "Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use… in prayer," there was a deafening ooooo from the kids, along with whistles of encouragement.

Kurt laughed at Noah's amazed expression, and Noah laughed, too, before kneeling in front of Kurt, just as they'd done in the stumblethrough. "O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do…"

"Daaamn," called someone in the front, but it was more respectful than derisive. Even the cheering died down as they waited to see what would happen next.

When Noah went on, with an innocent smile, "They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair," there was a collective groan from the audience.

Kurt was caught in a fit of giggles. He pressed his hand to his mouth as he gazed at Noah with love and desire. Not one bit of it was feigned, but he was also beginning to be able to feel the Julian-ness of it. There was his own feeling for Noah, and layered on top of that, there was Julian's awareness and attraction for Romeo. They were not in conflict.

He got a big laugh when he gave Noah the finger, but, surprisingly, an even bigger one when Noah refused to get up and he said, snidely, "Oh, saints do not move? Though, grant, for prayers' sake." Apparently these kids knew their Romeo & Juliet.

As he knelt in response to Romeo's encouragement, and Romeo touched his face and said, "Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take," before kissing him, the whole audience let out a sigh, with surprisingly few catcalls.

They believe us, Kurt thought, his heart thumping hard in his chest. It had ceased to be an act. The audience was caught in thrall to the story. Kurt knew exactly how that felt, as an audience member—and to be the one inciting it was nothing short of miraculous.

After that, every kiss, every look, was absorbed by the audience in near-silence. When Romeo discovered that Julian was a Capulet, they watched for the four seconds it took Romeo to shift from rapture to despair with nothing more than an unsettled murmur. The scene ended in tumultuous applause.

Kurt came face to face with Noah backstage. He reached out and grasped his hands in both of his.

"They really like it," he whispered.

But Noah gave him nothing but a blank, unreadable look. Kurt's smile fell away. He let go of Noah's hands and stepped back.

"You're doing great," Noah said softly. "Keep it up."

It was like that for the rest of the show. On stage, Kurt got full-on Romeo, both laughter and tears, but between acts and scenes, he received nothing at all. It was like Noah had tapped into this void character, one he was now playing in real life opposite Kurt. He found it distressing, but it was also surprisingly easy to follow Noah's lead and simply not interact with him offstage.

The audience remained engaged through the whole show, which perhaps should not have surprised Kurt; they were theater fans, after all, even the younger campers. When conflict overwhelmed romance, the audience called encouraging words. Kurt dug into Julian's disillusionment following their one night together, and when Romeo disappeared over the wall for the last time and Julian was left crying on stage, Kurt was pretty sure he heard some sniffling from the campers in the front few rows. Romeo's breakdown with Pastor Laurence left them silent and shocked. They didn't even get restless during the long soliloquies of the last act's death scenes.

The kids they saw leaving the theater at the end looked despondent.

"What, did they think it was going to end happily?" Kurt asked Oliver after the curtain call. Oliver just shrugged.

Bryce gathered them on the stage after the auditorium was empty.

"I know you're thinking you must be getting away with mistakes because I'm too old and tired to catch them," said Bryce, smiling at them, "and, well, you may be right. But I was honestly pleased with your performance. How did your experience differ with an audience?"

Kurt turned to Noah, who was silent during Bryce's feedback as always. He told him, "I think it was better. We were better."

Noah looked startled, then wary, as all eyes turned on him.

"Why do you think that was?" Bryce asked.

He may have been speaking to either of them, but Noah answered, slowly, like he was coming out of a dream. "I wasn't paying attention to anything but the show, and the character I was playing."

"Focus is crucial," Bryce agreed, nodding. "Similarly, I believe it's harder to focus on the tragic elements of one's part when one is feeling particularly happy." He peered at Oliver, of all people, who turned bright red and grinned at the floor. Bryce chuckled. "But young people may be forgiven their moments of happiness. Let's get some rest, children. Our performance is in two days."

Kurt walked back to Laura Keane on his own, appreciating the cool breeze and the smell of the woods. It struck him that he only had a few more days at Usdan, and then it would be time to go home.

He pulled out his phone and texted Finn. How are your rehearsals going?

It took Finn a little while to answer. Better. We still have a while to go. Did you know act two is even weirder than act one?

Kurt smiled. I seem to recall that. He paused before he added, Something terrible happened a couple of days ago. Chris is in the hospital. He's not going to be able to perform.

Dude. Is he okay?

I don't know. He hasn't texted me back.

Are you okay?

I'm coping, he typed slowly. He got out his handkerchief and blew his nose before going on. Puck stepped in to play the lead.

The lead. You mean Puck's playing Romeo? And you're Juliet?

Yes.

Holy shit. Who's playing the role he was doing in the Earnest play?

He's doing both. We're Friday, and the Earnest play is on Saturday.

Wow, that's intense. But I bet he's doing good, right?

He sighed. I think he's not actually doing all that well. But his acting is great. How's Michael?

There was a long pause. By the time Finn responded, Kurt was back in his room. Bro, that's a deflection.

Yes, it was, and how did you know that?

Michael told me what it was called.

Kurt blinked. It was eleven-thirty-eight at night. Is Michael there with you? Oh my god, are you answering a text from your stepbrother during a date?

It's not really a date, Finn said. He's just sleeping over.

He paused in the doorway, staring at his phone. Asher sighed from his bed and said, "Close the door," and Kurt did, leaving the lights off.

He's sleeping over. In my bed?

Not exactly.

"How was dress rehearsal?" Asher asked.

"Really good. I have to get my makeup off."

"Just turn on the light. I'm awake." Asher was, barely. He blinked, gesturing at Kurt's phone. "Everything okay?"

"It's my stepbrother, Finn. His—the guy he's been seeing, I guess it's getting serious? At least, he's spending the night with Finn's mom's permission, anyway. Jesus." He blew out an amazed breath. "Things do change in five weeks."

I'm really happy for you, he replied to Finn, before putting his phone away. He didn't text Noah, nor did he look at his phone again before morning.

On Thursday, Kurt managed to avoid Noah. The cast of Romeo & Juliet were exempt from morning classes while the cast of Earnest had an extended class in period makeup and costuming before their dress rehearsal. No one from Earnest attended senior masterclass that afternoon. It was a sad little group without Trinity, Chris, or Bryce to lead them. They all sat around looking at one another and at the exercises written on the board, but eventually most of the senior campers left.

"I don't know how Bryce is doing it," Kurt told Yvonne as they stacked the chairs and washed off the board. "What kind of a drug would a seventy-year-old man need to keep going after directing two shows, six nights a week? I mean, okay, maybe he's sleeping in until noon every day, I don't know, but… it's a lot."

"I think he loves it," Yvonne said. "I bet that helps. I never want to have a job I do just because I have to."

"Well, neither would I, but there's something to be said for getting a break every now and then, right?"

Kurt paused beside the staircase, then headed down the hall toward Noah and Peyton's room. He knocked on the door.

After a long pause, he heard Noah call, "'Sup?"

"Are you alone?" Kurt asked.

"Maybe."

"Please don't tell me you're smoking in your room."

"Not if Manoj is with you, I'm not."

Kurt sighed. "Do you really want to get kicked out the day before our performance?" There was no reply. "I won't tell anybody. My room is still empty for an hour and a half if you want company."

"No, thanks." There was another pause. "If it makes you feel better, I put out the joint."

It did and it didn't, but Kurt just said, "Break a leg tonight. I'll be watching with Oliver."

"Yeah, okay."

It was hard to believe this was the same person who'd recited such eloquent and moving passages to him on stage the night before. Kurt decided to take Bryce's advice and return to his room to rest. It felt like a waste of time in so many ways, but Asher was already napping, and he didn't want to bother him by doing other things.

Just before he put his head on his pillow, he checked his text messages from Chris, to make sure he hadn't responded yet. He wondered if they'd taken Chris's phone at the hospital, or if Chris simply didn't want to talk to him. Maybe it was too painful to consider someone else had taken over his part.

Within minutes of setting his phone down, Kurt was asleep.

Oliver saved him a seat in the third row for the dress rehearsal of Earnest that evening. Kurt smiled at the underclassmen around them, who looked a little surprised to see him there.

"You're that guy who played Julian in Romeo & Juliet, right?" said one girl.

"Is the dude who played Romeo really your boyfriend?" demanded a boy.

"Yes, and yes," said Kurt. He looked up at the stage. "Where's Anthony? His character doesn't come on until the second act, right?"

"He's filling in for Chris," said Oliver. "Stage manager. He said it's a lot more work than he expected it to be."

Kurt thought about all the additional tasks Trinity had handled as stage manager of Romeo & Juliet. "I think I'll stick to acting, thanks. Hey, where are you from?"

"Queens. I go to Frank Sinatra. It's a performing arts public school, about a half hour from here. My instrument's piano. Acting's just something I do for fun." Oliver looked at Kurt curiously. "You're a singer, right?"

Kurt shrugged wistfully. "I might have said I was at one point. I play piano, too, but not well enough to call it my instrument. It seems that singing is something I just do for fun, too."

"I would say acting is definitely your instrument, Kurt," Oliver said, with a grin. "And we can all have things we're good at—and things we're not good at. For example, I can't sing at all. So you're not going to school for performing?"

"Puck and I have one more year before—before we're done." Before college, he couldn't say, because Noah wasn't doing that. "But if you're in New York, you could visit Anthony when he goes to NYADA next year."

"If my parents let me."

He paused. "Oh, are they… do they know you're—?"

"I'm bi. No, it's not that, they're just really strict about practice. I am, too. And I hear NYADA is crazy competitive, so he's probably going to have to focus."

Kurt touched his arm. "I think he really likes you a lot."

A quick smile bloomed on his face and was gone. "Yeah, I like him too. I'm just trying to be practical about it."

"Isn't love one of those things you get to be ridiculous and extravagant about?"

Oliver shook his head seriously. "Not if you want to succeed in music."

It wasn't unlike what Asher had said—or, for that matter, what Noah had said about Michael. If he's gonna make it as a freshman at NYADA, he can't spend all his energy obsessing over anybody, no matter if they're a dude or a chick. Kurt sighed, leaning back in the auditorium's folding seat. "I have a really hard time not focusing on love when it's right in my face."

"Puck is hard to ignore in any capacity," Oliver agreed.

The performance was nothing short of exquisite. Asher and Noah had been very good when Kurt watched them perform the scenes from Act One, two weeks earlier. Now, they were notably better, speaking their lines more quickly and confidently without sounding like they were rushing one bit.

Algernon's persistence and Jack's caginess about his adventures in the country made for a fascinating setup, but Kurt was even more distracted by watching Noah parade around the stage in his dressing gown and waistcoat. Hard to ignore, indeed, he thought, and swallowed as Noah stripped off his gloves with a dramatic flourish.

Algy using his imaginary sick friend Bunbury, and Jack using his imaginary brother Ernest, as excuses to have time for unspecified activities, were painfully witty.

"Now that I know you to be a confirmed Bunburyist I naturally want to talk to you about Bunburying." Noah reached for Asher's hand over the cucumber sandwiches. "I want to tell you the rules."

"I'm not a Bunburyist at all," Asher insisted, pulling away. "If Gwendolen accepts me, I am going to get rid of Ernest, and I strongly advise you to do the same with your invalid friend."

"Nothing will induce me to part with Bunbury," declared Noah. "And if you ever get married, which seems to me extremely problematic, you will be very glad to know Bunbury. A man who marries without knowing Bunbury has a very tedious time of it."

Asher somehow managed to blush, even under his stage makeup. "That is nonsense. If I marry a charming girl like Gwendolen, I certainly won't want to know Bunbury."

"Then your wife will." Noah sniffed. "You don't seem to realize, that in married life three is company and two is none."

Ian's friend Teresa, playing the role of Algernon's cousin Gwendolen, was far too sweet for Kurt's preference, but Grace was wonderfully severe as Lady Bracknell. She chastised Algernon for every little thing, and put Jack through the wringer for attempting to propose to Gwendolen, given that he had no idea who his parents were.

"To be born, or at any rate bred, in a hand-bag," she said, her nose in the air, "whether it had handles or not, seems to me to display a contempt for the ordinary decencies of family life that reminds one of the worst excesses of the French Revolution."

Everything fit together wonderfully—or terribly, if Bryce's interpretation of the play as a tragedy was to be believed. As Jack made plans to have Gwendolen visit him at his country address, Algernon did all he could to sabotage their courtship in favor of Jack's continued philandering.

While Teresa as Gwendolen waved goodbye to Asher, Noah stood across the stage, blatantly spying on them and laughing.

Asher turned on Noah angrily. "What on earth are you so amused at?"

"Oh, I'm a little anxious about poor Bunbury, that is all," Noah replied.

Asher scowled. "If you don't take care, your friend Bunbury will get you into a serious scrape some day." It was hard not to hear that as a veiled threat.

"I love scrapes," Noah said, leaning close. He poked Asher in the chest. "They are the only things that are never serious."

"Oh, that's nonsense, Algy," Asher snapped, his temper rising to a breaking point. "You never talk anything but nonsense."

Noah gazed at him with complete sincerity. "Nobody ever does."

As Asher stormed off, Noah tapped a cigarette from his case and lit it, smiling to himself as the curtain fell.

Oliver looked confused. "Why did he write Jack's address on his shirt-cuff?"

"So he can go to Jack's house and find out more about his ward Cecily." Kurt smiled. "Puck's father told me Cecily was the word at the time for a young male prostitute."

Oliver didn't overreact when Anthony came in at the beginning of Act Two looking amazing in his butlers' tuxedo, but Oliver seldom overreacted about anything. When Trinity, playing Cecily, said to Noah, "I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time; that would be hypocrisy," however, Oliver laughed aloud.

"She's funny," he whispered to Kurt, like it had never occurred to him their stage manager could also be a comic actress.

When Asher arrived and discovered Noah had come to his house, pretending to be his wicked brother Ernest, he was aghast. Noah went right up to him and presented his hand.

"Brother John," he said with grave sincerity, "I have come down from town to tell you that I am very sorry for all the trouble I have given you, and that I intend to lead a better life in the future."

"Uncle Jack!" Trinity put her hands on her hips. "You are not going to refuse your own brother's hand?"

Asher turned his indignant glare to Noah. "Nothing will induce me to take his hand! I think his coming down here disgraceful. He knows perfectly well why."

"Uncle Jack, do be nice. There is some good in every one." She gazed with rapture at Noah. "Ernest has just been telling me about poor Mr. Bunbury, and his terrible state of health."

"I must say that I think that Brother John's coldness to me is peculiarly painful," Noah said with exaggerated sorrow.

She turned back to Asher and stamped her foot. "Uncle Jack, if you don't shake hands with Ernest, I will never forgive you."

He paused a good long time before approaching Noah with obvious trepidation. "Well,… this is the last time I shall ever do it." When he held out his hand, Noah flung his arms around him as the audience laughed.

Noah attempted to woo Cecily with flowery words and surprising patience: "Cecily, ever since I first looked upon your wonderful and incomparable beauty, I have dared to love you wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly." He appeared to be truly enjoying her company, even if he did later agree it wouldn't bother him to wait until he was thirty-five to marry her.

Kurt found himself laughing through the entire second act, in which both Jack and Algernon's deceptions were found out by the women they'd proposed to, and the women abandoned them in the garden together.

"How can you sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are in this horrible trouble, I can't make out," Asher demanded of Noah. "You seem to me to be perfectly heartless."

"Well, I can't eat muffins in an agitated manner," Noah explained patiently. "The butter would probably get on my cuffs. One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them."

The third act was, if a little improbable, very satisfying. Noah explained to Lady Bracknell how Bunbury was had died by being "found out" —"The doctors found out that Bunbury could not live, so Bunbury died."— and Cecily's tutor, Miss Prism, was discovered to be the caregiver who'd accidentally abandoned baby Jack in a handbag 28 years ago. Lady Bracknell turned out to be Jack's aunt as well as Algernon's, which made Algy and Jack brothers after all. Even more improbably, Jack's given name at birth was revealed to be Earnest.

"That was weird," Oliver said, smiling big as the cast bowed and they all clapped. "But they were really good."

Oliver and Kurt stayed while Bryce gave the cast their notes, and they all headed back to Laura Keane together. The cast, still in their makeup, carried the energy of their performance with them, chattering excitedly. Noah stayed on the perimeter of the group, avoiding conversation, but he didn't altogether abandon them, which Kurt thought was an improvement from his usual post-show ghosting strategy.

"I don't know why you said Bryce called it a tragedy," Oliver said to Anthony. "I mean, it definitely had a happy ending."

"It's really not a tragedy or a comedy," said Trinity. "It's satire. Bryce's point was that any life which is built around an elaborate plot to avoid being honest about who you are is a tragedy."

"Yeah, but when the only choice is to cry about something," said Grace, "sometimes the best choice is to laugh."

"Or viciously cut someone with your words," Ian added.

"What did you think?" Asher asked.

It took Kurt a moment to realize Asher was talking to him.

"It was hilarious," he said. "And sad. I mean, all of your performances were fantastic. I laughed through the whole thing, if that counts for anything."

It was pleasant to be in one place with so many people who had been at odds with one another all week and for no one to be in conflict. It also made Kurt realize how much he missed Finn and his dad and Carole and everyone from Glee club. He eyed Noah across the path, but Noah didn't look at him.

"You are a really good actor," Kurt told Asher as they got ready for bed.

Asher looked surprised, but also pleased. "Thanks, Kurt. You are, too. I'm glad you were there tonight." After a pause, he added, "I know Puck was glad you were, too."

Kurt picked up his phone after turning off the light.

I hope tomorrow will be a fine day, he typed.

It was morning before he received a reply from Noah, with the completion of the quote from Earnest: It never is.

Kurt halfway expected the day of their performance to feel different, but it didn't. He ate breakfast with Asher and Bethany and Grace, and lunch with Anthony and Oliver. They had morning class as usual, although their afternoon masterclass was suspended in favor of a mildly competitive game of volleyball. Kurt suspected that was more to give Bryce a chance to rest than anything else. Noah largely avoided him, and Kurt didn't pursue him. There was still no news about Chris's condition, other than to continue to say he was recovering.

Carole texted him at several points along the drive to tell him where they were.

We'll arrive in plenty of time for the show, she said, but we won't see you until afterward. You just stay focused.

"I don't really feel all that focused," Kurt admitted to Asher as he put on his soccer costume. "I just feel confused. Everything is happening too quickly."

"I think this is what Bryce meant when we have to lean on what we've practiced." Asher shrugged. "If it helps, you don't seem confused."

He smiled. "I guess the way it seems is what matters in show business."

Asher gave him a hug. "Break a leg. It's going to be great."

Kurt thought about what Noah had said earlier that week, about acting like someone who wasn't scared. He decided he would act like someone who wasn't confused, and see what happened.

It seemed like a reasonable solution—until they were waiting backstage, the curtain still down, listening to the hush of the packed auditorium, and Kurt glanced across the dim space to Noah, standing nearby. His stomach lurched, and he felt the abrupt prickle of tears behind his eyes.

How do I learn to act like someone who isn't in love with you? he wondered.

Then Trinity called, "Places," and they moved into the circle. Kurt took Noah's hand, and they began.