"I don't know if you can hear me... Or even if you can feel my hand on yours... But I have to try. I have to try and tell you that I am here. I am here, Dean. And I... God... I am so sorry, Dean. I am truly, deeply sorry for being late and for not finding you sooner, I am so... I am so fucking sorry. If only I was... If only I found you sooner then they might not have hurt you as much as they did... Then maybe you would have... No. No. I am not going to bring them up, they are done. They will never, ever hurt anyone ever again. And they will have to live with the consequences of what they have done. But, it doesn't matter... They don't matter. Only you matter Dean... Only you. You are the only one that matter to me."

Castiel let out one shaking breath as he stood by Dean's bed. They have taken him off the respiratory system that was helping him breathe and have removed the tubes, but are keeping him sedated at least until some of his wounds start to heal. It has been over a week now and Castiel only left Dean's side to go home and shower, making sure beforehand that Benny stayed with him every moment until Castiel's return. Eat and sleep, he did it right there on that crappy chair next to Dean's bed.

Nick was there every day during visiting hours, offering support. It was day two when Tony visited and Castiel suggested they transfer Dean to his private clinic. Tony took a look at his charts and spoke to the doctors that operated on Dean as well as his attendings and assured Castiel that Dean was best to stay put. It wouldn't do much good to move him, not just yet and when he regenerated enough, Tony will work to set Dean up in Castiel's penthouse. All that was left to do now is wait.

That lousy PI Marvin Metatron called a few times, but Castiel didn't answer, not being able to deal with him right now. Having been the only one not to produce a clue to Dean's whereabouts, Castiel really had no desire to hear what he had to say. He knew he received his paycheck, Charlie made sure of that, so there was no other reason to call aside from trying to wiggle in some useless information hoping to get himself an extra buck or two. It wouldn't be the first time he attempted that.

Charlie kept him updated on everything, not that Castiel really cared about what was going on in the company right now. He knew it was in safe hands with Charlie and Nick running it, and the support of the rest of the board of directors, he decided to take time off from work. For the unforseen amount of time.

Each day he would spend most of his time just sitting and watching Dean. Watching him sleep peacefully, knowing the drugs sent the nightmares away, and couldn't help but wonder how severe the mental damage was. He knew he would stand by Dean's side, be his support, be his rock, be whatever Dean needed him to be for as long as he needed him. But what if he didn't? Didn't need him? Didn't want him? What if he sees him as just another... No. No, he shouldn't think like that.

He watched him sleep, wishing he could gaze into those beautiful green eyes and see the whole world in them. Those wide green fields, those huge green forests, that beautiful land that grounded him, God how he missed seeing them. He watched his lips as they remained motionless and wanting nothing more than to set a soft, gentle kiss upon them and wake Dean up as if he was a sleeping beauty.

This was no fairytale. Never was, never will be. He tried to give Dean his happily ever after, and he failed him. He failed him and let the monsters get to him.

Not this time, thought. He will tear apart whoever so much as looks at Dean the wrong way. He will make sure that they all know there is someone who cares about Dean and who will go to no extent to keep him safe.

He had Ash run a background check on each and every staff member in the hospital. Well, he had Charlie have Ash do it. He wasn't sure he could stand listening to the guy without telling him to go to Hell. The search came up with a few dirty secrets on the hospital's chief and on a few attendings, and one surgeon, but nothing important to pose a threat to Dean. A few misdemeanors, marijuana smoking and parking tickets along with half a dozen love affairs.

It was after that first week that Castiel noticed a small redhead nurse glance their way a few times too many, but just as he was about to react, the doctors came bearing news. Apparently they thought Dean was stable and well enough to be awaken for the first time. Castiel's first response was to call for a second opinion, but once Tony got there, he agreed with the hospital's doctor.

Castiel watched as they administrated an injection into the IV, an injection he knew wouldn't harm Dean but was intended to make him lucid and he waited and waited and waited. Tony said Dean might take a while to wake up and even then he might not come to completely, drifting between sleep and awareness and that Castiel shouldn't be discouraged by such state of things, that it was normal.

So Castiel waited and waited and eventually fell asleep waiting, but instantly startled awake when he felt his hand being squeezed. Highly alert he looked at the hand underneath his and gasped felling it tighten around his once again and then finally dared to look up. And dear Lord, there they were, those astonishing emeralds looking back at him. They were tired and drowsy, but showed only care and admiration with a hint of relief.

Before Castiel could even get out a soft "Dean...", the eyes closed and man of his life drifted off to sleep once again.

Castiel didn't even notice the second time they opened, a few hours later as the dawn broke. He was busy talking to the doctor and gasped as he glanced at Dean only to see his gorgeous eyes watching him. They weren't exactly blank and emotionless, but they didn't give out anything else either. Dean's lips remained shut and after a few moments of following movements as Castiel practically ran to him, those vibrant green eyes closed again.

The third time he heard him before he looked to see Dean awake. He heard grunts and it seemed like Dean was trying to call his name, his voice sounding like sandpaper, so coarse it was painful to listen to.

"Shhhh, don't speak. It's... Ok. I'm here..." Castiel took a couple of breaths as of he wanted to say more, but gave up and then tried again, but what would he say? Hey, Dean, sorry your throat is so soar, but those two assholes fucked your face so many times, deepthroated you viciously that for five days you survived solely on the proteins of their semen.

Yeah, no.

Still, Dean seems to relax to the sound of his voice and gripped his hand tight and Castiel forced himself to smile at him and hide away the guilt he felt. Dean kept his gaze on him as if he feared Castiel would just disappear if he closed his eyes and the dark haired man felt a necessity to assure him.

"I'm here Dean. You're safe. You are safe. They... They can't get to you, not anymore, not ever, ok? I'm here and I'm never leaving, you're safe... You're... Safe..." He couldn't help the tears that started to prickle in his eyes as he spoke, nor the huffed laugh that escaped his lips as Dean reassuringly squeezed his hand.

He was confused for a moment as Dean took Castiel's hand in his and then reached to turn it around so that Castiel's hand was palm up this time. The man gasped as Dean's fingers brushed over the palm, drawing a line, curved and closed with a spike at the end.

"Dean, was that..."

And Dean did it again, drawing a perfect heart over his palm. The tears spilled, Castiel couldn't contain them anymore, nor could he contain the sob that ripped itself from his lungs. He closed his eyes, trying to regain himself, trying to be strong for Dean, for them both and Dean just went ahead, placed his hand over Castiel's and squeezed it tight. Fuck, that man is so much stronger than Castiel could ever be. After all he went through, he is the one to comfort Castiel, when it should obviously be the other way around.

Collecting himself, Castiel took a deep breath and calmed his beating heart, his eyes refocusing on Dean's seeing a soft, happy look in them, with a hint of... Admiration? Adoration? Fondness? L... Love? He couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips and he huffed a laugh.

"I'm sorry, my mind is... I am all over the place. How are you feeling? I mean, I know it isn't good, but..."

Dean just nodded with his eyes closed, his expression showing discomfort as if he was trying to say Everything hurts, but I'll be ok. And God, damnit if he didn't look like he really was going to be okay, that he is holding it together somehow, and Castiel had no idea it was him that was the reason for that. He had no idea that just seeing his face and hearing his voice gave Dean the strength.

He had no idea that he was the reason Dean fought them every step of the way, not letting them have the pleasure of him submitting. He had no idea he was the reason Dean spat their semen back into their faces and told them to go fuck themselves. That might have spurred them on, and he might have come out of this whole thing a lot less hurt, but he wouldn't, he couldn't bend to their will. Not anymore.

Castiel made him see that he is strong, that he is a person with feelings and desires and and not just an object for someone to use and discard when they get bored with it. Truth was, and Dean knew this, the actual reason they 'let him go', or rather kicked him out at the first hospital was because they were scared. He heard the fear in Abraxas' voice when he told his brother that Novak found him, that he pulled him out of a running car and was sputtering fire like a freaking dragon.

Even if he didn't literally save him, he was still his knight in shining armor.

The one who showed him he was worth, who showed him what he wants mattered and that sometimes, and only sometimes he has to put himself first. Because if he doesn't look after himself and gets hurt like he did now, who will take care of...

Suddenly Dean's heart rate spiked as he started looking around the room. Castiel was quick to try and sooth him and do the first thing that came into mind which was to offer a glass of water. Dean took it, hoping it would ease his burning throat and help him get the answers he needed. He tried to talk, but it hurt so damn much, and Castiel couldn't even understand him, so he had to try another way.

He squeezed Castiel's hand once again and traced his fingers over his palm drawing one letter at the time. W. H. E. R. E. ?.

"It's ok, Dean you're in a hospital, you're safe." Castiel comforted, not understanding why Dean would react like this to being in a hospital. From the machines and the whole look of the room it was clear they were in a hospital, so why would Dean...

W. H. I. C. H. ?.

"Which? Which hospital you mean? Mercy West, why? I... I don't..." Castiel was confused, why would it matter what hospital they were at? He grew even more baffled and honestly a lot worried when Dean started to move, wincing and grunting in pain, and it seemed like he was actually trying to get up.

"No, Dean, you need to lie down, you need to rest." Dean just shook his head, his expression showing off alarms and some sort of fear and despite Castiel nearly holding him down, he still fought to get up.

"Dean, please. Please, calm down. You have to lie down, you have to rest... If you try to get up, you'll rip the stitches and make everything worse, please. Dean. Please..." Castiel pleaded, but it seemed like Dean wasn't even listening. Something was pushing him to move, to get out of that room and go... Someplace? And he wasn't taking no for an answer. Castiel has never seen him like this, but was sure that if he didn't do something, Dean was only going to get himself hurt.

"Ok... Okay... How about this? Hear me out. We lift these - Castiel lifted the sides of the bed, so Dean won't fall off - and we unhook this - he removed some of the cables connected to Dean, but kept the IV line - and I'll get you where you need to go, ok?" If he had to push him across town in this bed he would do it.

The look of pure adoration Dean had in his eyes was totally worth it.

Castiel maneuvered the bed out of the room and towards the elevator as Dean pointed it to him. It was close so they somehow managed to avoid any nurses or doctors as they entered it. Castiel was about to reach and push the ground floor button (they were on 5th), when Dean rose his hand, showing three fingers.

"Third floor? You want to go down to the third?" Castiel asked confused, but also intrigued. What would Dean be looking for down there? He pushed three and as the elevator slowly descended, Dean found his hand and squeezed it tight once more as if he was thanking him for something. Castiel smiled brightly at him and nodded.

He couldn't believe how driven Dean seemed, and couldn't understand yet what made him act like this, but he knew he would after they reached their destination. At least Dean seemed okay, all things considered. Well, there must be some deep psychological trauma after what happened, that was unavoidable, but he was better of than Castiel imagined.

The elevator door Ding! -ed and a small smile flashed on Dean's face and Castiel caught it and mimicked the smile, thinking it probably reminded Dean of the elevator in their penthouse. Some strange form of happiness sparked up in Castiel's heart knowing that Dean would get to hear that sound of their elevator once again, that he will bring him back home and snuggle next to him and maybe... Be happy?

Dean pointed to the left and Castiel pushed his bed though the left corridor. They ran into a few nurses and attendings that gave them an odd look, but otherwise didn't try and stop them, even that redhead nurse that seemed surprised, but still shot them a small kind smile. Others just looked away and passed them by. They all knew who Mr. Novak was and they knew his 'friend' was in the hospital and they have heard rumors about what happened to his 'friend's' attackers, so everyone just thought best to stay out of their way.

Dean then motioned right, so Castiel took them right, then another left, passing the 'Coma Ward's sign and just around that corner, Dean pointed to a patient's room. Castiel pushed him to the door and opened it, taking a peak inside. There was a man, a tall man lying perfectly still on the hospital bed, and since this was obviously a ward for comatose patients, Castiel figured that was a part of what was wrong with this man. But who was he?

Dean made a kind of a whining sound to draw Castiel's attention back to himself and then pointed at the room. He wanted to go in there. Castiel lifted his hand to tell him to give him a second and he peaking back inside, looking around to room and to see if there was a way to manoeuvre Dean inside.

"Give me a moment, ok?" Castiel said glancing at Dean and once he got a nod, he entered the room, his focus split between the man on the bed and Dean, who he could still see through the open door. He wouldn't, couldn't let him out of his sight. He pulled the man's bed closer to the wall with the window, opposite the door and then went back outside, moved Dean so that the part of the bed with his feet would enter the room first and he pushed him in, just past a cupboard and then walked around, turned him by 90 degrees and pushed him so that his bed was now right next to the other man's.

As soon as he could reach, Dean's hand shot up and grabbed the man's hand tightly, his eyes focused on him with a mix of love and relief. Castiel felt a jolt in his chest, that pang of jealousy lodging itself into his heart. Who was this man? Better yet, who was he to Dean? Why would Dean go though all this to see him, to... Make sure the man was alright? Well, still in coma, but alive...

Worst off, Castiel felt like he was intruding on a moment here, and he couldn't help the hurt and disappointment that suddenly filled his heart.

But then Dean turned to him and looked at Castiel with that same adoration in his eyes and reached with his other hand and without skipping a beat, Castiel came closer and took it, and Dean squeezed tight, a small smile spreading over his face.

S. A. M.

"Sam? This is Sam?" Castiel asked trying hard to keep his voice leveled, but Dean could see the confusion and slight fear of loosing him in Castiel's eyes.

B. R. O.

Not that familiar with slang much, Castiel didn't catch on what Dean was trying to tell him, eyeing the tall man, not sure what to think of him. This was obviously someone who mattered a lot to Dean, but as it seemed, the man has been here for a long time. Needing to know more, Castiel walked back around and grabbed the man's chart, flipping it open.

The first thing he learned was that the man's name was indeed Sam, or better yet Samuel Winchester, and if the last name was any indication, added to that word Dean half spelled, he was Dean's brother. Or at least Castiel hoped he was. He also learned that his chart goes back over 16 years and that the patient was in a comatose state, that he had awoken a few times, but that his brain functions were 'misfiring' and that he would always go back into the comatose state. The more Castiel read, the more he had a feeling that something was off here. He wasn't a doctor, but some of the things that were written on the chart sounded off. He wanted to ask Dean, he wanted to know more, but since Dean couldn't respond properly yet, and he was more than content to be near this tall brute, Castiel thought best to leave it be. For now.

He would make sure to have Tony check Sam over.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, and Castiel fished it out, frowning at the caller ID. This man could really be annoying. He let it ring, and let it go to voice mail, but a moment later it vibrated again, this time in a two short buzzes indicating he got a text message.

"Azazel Gold's death revealed a few things if you're interested..." the text said, and Castiel had to hand it to him, he had quite a sales pitch. He didn't even know Azazel had died, but his best guess would be that heart attack that occurred when he and Nick found him. He glanced up at Dean, seeing that he fell asleep while still holding Sam's hand and he sighed. Dialing the number he took a deep breath and listened to it ring.

"What information have you got?"

"I want double than my standard fee."

"Of course you do. If the information is that valuable, you know you will be paid accordingly."

"Excellent. The old man died, apparently he had a heart disease he didn't even know about. Since there was no will and testament in case of his death, his assets all go to his adoptive sons. Now this is were things get interesting - apparently, sixteen years ago Mr. Gold adopted two boys, age sixteen and twelve, after a car crash took their father's life. Mother was already deceased. He took upon himself to take care of the older boy, and made arrangements for the state to pay hospital bills for the other since he was badly injured in the crash. And here is the bonus, since I knew where to look now, I was able to follow the cash that Azazel took out of the club to a doctor there, one Raphael Helbreder. My guess, he wasn't paying him to help the boy, you know... But I have no clue yet as to what it might be... Want me to find out?"

There was a pause on Castiel's behalf as he took in all the information, all the puzzle pieces falling into place perfectly.

"No, Marv. I got that covered. But thank you. You did good. Call Charlie and stop by the office for your check." Castiel could almost see the man beaming up with pride on the other side of the line.

"Hey, don't you want the names of the kids he took in? They inherited the entire club and the house..."

"I am looking at them right now. Goodbye Marvin." Castiel said and hung up the phone, then quickly shooting Charlie a text to issue a check to Marvin Metatrone, triple the regular amount. He rose his eyes and looked at Dean and apparently his little brother. It all became so clear to him now, why Dean was working as an escort and a dancer, how he sacrificed his whole life just for a chance to see his brother awake one day. If his suspensions were correct, and he hated how dark his thoughts could get, but what he hated even more is how those same dark thoughts were usually quite accurate, Azazel was paying the doctor to keep Sam under while using Dean as his golden goose.

What kind of a man would do that to a twelve year old child?

Looking over at Sam, he could see how skinny he was, not much muscles, how his face was pale and his skin clammy. It must have been torture for Dean to watch him slowly wither. Making a quick decision he picked up his phone and dialed Tony. He knew he needed someone with a medical background to check Sam over and to help him confront the doctor in question. He only hoped that Tony would get there before someone alarmed the good doctor of another patient crashing his patient's room. Castiel didn't trust himself enough not to hurt the son of a bitch.

If it is proven that he deliberately kept Sam in a coma, then Castiel would do anything in his power to see the dr. Raphael Helbreder brought down, loose his licence, discredited and incarcerated for his actions. And then pay someone to make sure he wound up in a temporary coma each and every day while in prison.

Author's note: Helbreder means healer in Norwegian.