a/n: I'm back! HELLO EVERYONE I MISSED YOU! A great big thank you to those that wished me a great vacation! Maine was awesome, although it was pretty cold and rainy. We rented a house that was right by the beach, and the view was amazing. Don't even get me started on the sunsets. There were so many hermit crabs omg they were so cute (but terrifying at the same time). Having seafood for a week straight got kinda old though. But I doubt you want to hear about me rant about Maine, so without further ado, here is chapter 18 of It's Not You! I hope you enjoy!

His mom was home.

Cas had mixed feelings about that particular fact. On one hand, of course he was happy and excited that his mother was home. After all, he had been looking forward to spending the winter holidays with her for months. But on the other hand, how was he supposed to tell her about what he and Dean had found out? How would she react?

Cas was terrified that his mom would never look at him the same way again. Absolutely terrified. What if she thought that Cas was afraid of her?

The time for thinking and worrying was brief as the front door was soon swinging open and Claire was stepping inside the house, bringing a cold gust of wind in behind her. Cas scrambled up off the couch as she set her luggage down in the foyer. She started unwrapping the scarf from around her neck, also taking off her coat and sighing in relief from the lack of weight.

Cas waited until she was done and as soon as her boots were off and she straightened back up he was launching himself at his mother, wrapping her in a hug. His mom smelled so incredibly familiar. Comforting. Like cookies and s'mores and clothes fresh out of the dryer. He loved it. He loved her.

And her voice. As soon as she breathed his name into his neck, Cas melted. Even though it had only been mere days since he'd last seen her, it had felt like years.

But it was too soon that she was pulling away, smiling up at him as her eyes then went past him and caught onto Dean, who was leaning against the wall, softly smiling at the reunion in front of him. Cas grinned and stepped aside so that Claire could bustle her way past him and pull Dean down into a tight hug. Dean hadn't been expecting that by the looks of it, and Cas almost laughed out loud at the shocked look on his soulmate's face. But a split second later Dean was smiling again and wrapping his own arms around Claire.

"Merry Christmas, Claire," Dean said as they pulled apart. "We were lost here without you."

Claire gave him an amused look and patted his cheek. "Merry Christmas to you too boys. But I doubt you had too much trouble here. After all, the house is intact. You both are alive. What could possibly have gone wrong?"

And as they all stooped down to pick up the luggage she brought in from the car, Cas exchanged a look with Dean. If only she knew.

Which she soon would.

Cas's stomach flipped a bit at the thought of what was to come, but he plastered a grin onto his face and took one of the bags from his mom's hands, insisting that he's got it. "I bet you're tired, mom. Dean and I'll make dinner. You go rest a bit."

"What about your presents?"

Cas smiled at her. "After dinner."

"If you say so." But as Claire turned away, Cas caught something on her face. He didn't know how to place it. The only thing he could have possibly called it was dread.

"You okay, mom?"

Claire looked back up at him and smiled, the previous haunted gaze vanishing. Maybe he had just imagined it. "I'm just tired. Don't worry about me." And with that, Claire gave them one last, adoring look before making her way upstairs. They could hear the shower turn on, and soon, his mother's off-key singing filled the house.

Rolling his eyes, Cas set out to help Dean unpack some of the luggage. All of the dirty laundry they immediately put into the washing machine, and the various books and pens they brought up to her rooms.

"Your mom's really bad at singing," Dean whispered under his breath to Cas as they walked past the bathroom, which was radiating the wrong notes and tunes of Jingle Bell Rock. Cas rolled his eyes. "Tell me about it. Sometimes, it sounds like someone's strangling a cat with a severe case of bronchitis." At Dean's amused laugh, Cas's eyes widened. "Don't you dare tell her I said that."

Dean smiled devilishly. "Oh, I wouldn't dream of it, angel."

Pointing an accusing finger at his soulmate, Cas threatened, "No, I mean it, Dean. One word about that to her, and you'll be the one that's getting strangled."

Dean laughed again, and Cas firmly decided that if Dean even breathed in Claire's direction with the intent of telling her what Cas had said, he would make sure that Dean never saw the light of day again.

Future plans of revenge were soon forgotten though as the boys stared down at an empty kitchen.

"So," Dean started, opening the fridge. "Nothings changed, has it? We still only have leftovers?"

Cas mentally kicked himself. Of course nothing changed. He and Dean hadn't gone to the store after their trip to IHOP, and the few meager pancakes wouldn't nearly be enough for a full dinner.

"What do you want to do?" Dean asked, closing the fridge and not even bothering to open other cabinets to see if they contained anything dinner-worthy. "If you want, I can make a quick trip to the store, get us the stuff we need. Or," Dean offered, "We could always order take-out."

Cas thought for a moment. His mother would be done in the shower in around twenty more minutes. That didn't give them much time. Dean would only make it to the store by that time. Of course she could wait until he got back and they prepared dinner, but that would take too long. Take-out it was.

"Sushi?" Cas asked hopefully. He hadn't had sushi in a while. In fact, the last time he'd had it was weeks back, when he was at college. Not unlike his preference of hamburgers, Cas only liked specific sushi. And so did his mom. Which made ordering all the more easy.

"Sure," Dean shrugged, taking out his phone and going on the nearest sushi place's website. Cas didn't need to see the menu to know what he wanted. He always got the same rolls, as did his mother.

Dean seemed to have a harder time deciding.

"There are hundreds of them here!" He gestured helplessly at the menu. "How am I supposed to choose one?"

Cas smiled and gave the confused Dean an amused look. "Choose two then." As if that solved his problems.

"That doesn't help me whatsoever!"

Cas chuckled. He leaned over Dean's shoulder to read the items on the menu. Reaching over, he pointed to one of them. "That one. The Godzilla Roll."

"Should I get that one?"

"No. The opposite. Stay away from it."

"Well gee, that really helps me narrow it down. Thanks a lot, Cas."

Cas playfully hit Dean's shoulder, but when Dean gave him an injured look, he smiled and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek.

"You know what, whatever." Dean grumbled. "What's this one with?" He picked a random roll on the menu and skimmed through the ingredients. "Avocado. Sure. Fish? What type of fish is this?" Before Cas could answer, Dean raised a hand to cut him off. "It doesn't matter. I'll get it anyway."

And half an hour later Claire was coming down the stairs just as the doorbell rang with their delivered order. Paying the shivering delivery man, Cas took the bag into his hand and kept the wallet in the other, shutting the door behind him with his foot. He didn't mention the fact that he lost his balance and almost went crashing down onto the floor with their food.

He set the bags down on the table, taking out the boxes and chopsticks, setting them before each person. Dean warily eyed the mess of a roll before him. Taking the chopsticks into his hands, Dean gave his roll a suspicious poke. Looking up at Cas, Dean asked cautiously, "Are you sure this is what I ordered?"

"I don't know Dean," Cas laughed and sat down before his own rolls, which beckoned him to eat them. "What did you order?"

"Do you think I remember?" Dean mumbled, and Cas and his mother laughed.

Patting Dean's hand, Claire grinned at him. "If you don't like it, you can always have some of mine."

Dean gratefully looked at her before his gaze turned to Cas, who already had his chopsticks in hand and whose first roll was halfway to his mouth. "Don't you look at me, Dean. You're not getting any of my food."

Dean stuck his tongue out at Cas, who did the same before stuffing his face full of food. Claire followed, cramming as much of her salmon into her mouth as she could. Dean was left staring helplessly at the monstrosity in front of him. He picked one up and examined it from all sides, as if checking to see if anyone had rigged a bomb to it. Determining that it was safe, he put it into his mouth.

Cas and Claire looked on in anticipation as he chewed and then swallowed. His face remained impassive for a moment, then it split into a grin. "This is actually pretty good. I don't know what the hell it is, but it's really good."

They all laughed and dug in, silence filling the room as they focused on their food.

The silence didn't last long, because soon, Claire began fidgeting, throwing them nervous glances, and Cas had to know what was wrong. "Mom, are you sure everything is ok?" So maybe he hadn't imagined the look she had on her face before she had gone to shower.

Claire sighed. "Boys, I have to tell you something."

Cas froze, and from the looks of it, so did Dean. Did something happen to Gabe? To Sam? There had been plans that they would spend New Years together with Sam and Gabe. Were those plans off? Did something else come up?

Claire seemed to shrink in on herself. Oh, this was bad. Did something bad happen at work? What if she got fired?

Seeming to just want to get it over with in one, big breath, Claire braced herself before blurting out, "Dean, I'm the nurse that messed up the medications for your mother."

Oh.

There was a moment of silence. Nobody moved.

Then, Cas and Dean stole a glance at each other and, seeing the look on the other's face, burst out laughing. It would have been a momentary thing if only they hadn't then looked at Claire's face, which, with it's shocked and horrified appearance, sent them into another fit of laughter.

Cas didn't think he'd laughed that hard since the time that they had their whole Soulmate Screw Up thing back in October. But now he was cackling just as uncontrollably as he did that day, if not more. Because this really was hilarious. The thing that he had dreaded telling his mother for days had been the very thing that she had been dreading to tell him. As if he didn't know everything already.

Dean seemed to find this situation just as hysterical, and had now almost fallen out of his chair with the wheezes of laughter that were coming out of him.

The only person that seemed to find the entire ordeal unamusing was Claire, who was sitting rooted to her chair, an expression of utmost bafflement and terror slapped onto her face. She was looking between the laughing boys as if they had suddenly gone insane. But who could blame her? She had just confessed to being the one that deprived Dean of a mother, and instead of the expected reaction of shock and anger, she had gotten cackles and howls of laughter.

"That was the last thing I was expecting," Dean managed to get out amid cackles. "Tell us something we don't know."

If anything, Claire looked more confused. "What? But I don't-"

Regaining his ability to form complete sentences without breaking into fits of laughter, Cas cleared his throat. "We already knew that, mom." Before she could say anything else, Cas launched into an explanation. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about on the phone. We found Mary Winchester's files in our basement, and so we tried calling you so that you could tell us if you were the nurse assigned to her. But," Cas gave Dean a guilty look before continuing. "We couldn't get ahold of you, so we assumed the worst and got into a fight." Seeing the wide-eyed look of worry on Claire's face, Cas quickly added, "But it's ok now. It wasn't even that big. We're ok. I promise."

There was a brief moment of silence.

Claire smiled. "Well then, that just makes my job a hell of a lot easier." She visibly deflated, the stress seeping out of her. It was obvious that she hadn't been looking forward to breaking the news to them after- after what?

"Wait, mom, why did you decide to tell us this now?" Cas asked.

"Your brothers, that's why."

Cas and Dean shared a look. Sam and Gabe knew? How had they found out? Did they have a fight as well?

"You know that amulet that Gabe only wears on special occasions?" Claire directed the question at Cas, who nodded. "I never told you boys this, but it belonged to Mary Winchester." Cas heard Dean suck in a breath. "She gave it to me as a thank you gift of sorts. Something I can remember her by. And when he was a kid, Gabe loved it. He'd always steal it from me and I'd catch him wearing it around the house. I don't really know why. He was a strange kid." Cas snorted in agreement. That was an understatement. "So I gave it to him with the promise that he wouldn't lose it because it was very important. And then he started wearing it on holidays and to parties and such. And so he wore it on Christmas. And Sam recognized it."

Dean looked like he was thinking, then interrupted Claire. "Would this amulet look like some type of weird face with horns on it? Maybe a bronze color?"

Claire nodded.

"In all of the pictures of my mom I've seen, she always wears it." Dean said. "No wonder Sammy recognized it."

Giving him a small smile, Claire continued. "Gabe couldn't remember how he got it, so he and Sam decided to call me. To ask me if I knew a Mary Winchester. I said I did. And it all escalated from there." Cas and Dean both winced. They had wanted to keep it a secret from Sam and Gabe for this specific reason. So that they wouldn't cause any rifts between them. But unfortunately, it couldn't have been avoided.

"After a lot of accusations and, I'll admit, a little screaming, I explained everything and they understood. That's when we decided that you both had to know as well."

Dean snorted. "The irony. When we found out, all of us decided that Sam and Gabe didn't have to know."

Claire's brow furrowed. "'All of us'?"

And so Cas and Dean told her more specifically the story of how they found out. From how Cas was upset after she left, to them going to the basement to look at photo albums, to the spilling of the files (Claire had them swear that they put all the files back in order), to the broken record, and to Dean storming off to his father's, coming back the next day with apologies and presents.

"It seems as if your boys' break wasn't as boring as I had thought it was," Claire said at the end. "I leave you two alone for one day and this is what you do."

Cas and Dean both gave her their guiltiest looks. They hadn't meant to cause so much trouble. But, if it made him feel better, Cas did admit that even if they hadn't had their argument, they still would have found out the truth sooner or later. Even if sooner had come a little too quick for his liking.

Claire suddenly gasped. "Speaking of presents, I have some for you two." She shot out of her chair and quickly flew up the stairs and into her room. Cas too, had gifts to give, and he also rose from the table. Instead of going up the stairs, though, he went down, and into the basement. Next to the place where he had hid Dean's presents were Claire's, and Cas grabbed them and padded back up to the dining room, where he saw Dean and Claire already there, presents in tow.

Dropping into his seat, he slid his gift across the table to Claire. "Merry Christmas, mom." A present came sliding back to rest between him and Dean. "Merry Christmas, boys."

They watched her open their presents first.

Rustling and crinkling filled the room as she unwrapped Dean's present for her. Her face filled with adoration as she removed a salmon pink, painstakingly knit hat from its wrappings. It was obviously made by Dean. There were loose ends sticking up in places, and the pattern was a little uneven, but Cas knew just how long Dean had spent on it.

Dean looked somewhat bashful as he watched. There was no doubt that he was nervous. "I know how much you like knitting," he said quietly, "so I decided to try my hand at it. I know it's not the best, but…"

But Claire obviously loved it. She immediately pulled it over her head and struck a pose for them. "How do I look?"

Cas laughed. "You look as great as always, mom."

She beamed at him, and then at Dean, who was practically glowing with relief. She gave him a wink. "If you ever want me to teach you some tricks of the trade, you just let me know."

Dean grinned. "I'd like that."

Next was Cas's present.

Claire gave the soft package a curious look as she stripped it of its paper. She let out a small gasp as she pulled out a onesie. It was bright red, and was peppered with small reindeer heads. The hood had antlers on it, and when Cas had seen it at the store, he had immediately known that it would be perfect for his mother.

"Oh, I love it, Cas." She whispered, examining it from all directions. Her face lit up when she saw the sewed in Claire Novak on the left breast pocket.

"Dean helped me with that," Cas admitted. "I suck at sewing."

Claire instantly excused herself to go put it on, and when she came back, both Cas and Dean barely held onto their laughter.

"And that's not even the best part," Claire's eyebrows rose at Cas's words. "I got one for each of us. Including Sam and Gabe. So that we could all be matching on New Years. Kinda like in those magazines where the entire family has a matching onesie set."

Dean hadn't been on board right away with that idea, but after lots and lots of pestering on Cas's part, he had finally relented. And it was a good thing, too, because Dean looked absolutely adorable in a onesie.

Cas didn't think Claire's smile could get any bigger, but as soon as he was done talking, it proved him wrong.

He and Dean both received lung-crushing hugs from his mother, as well as way too many cheek kisses.

But now it was their turn. Unwrapping the paper around their gift, Cas and Dean both let out exclamations of surprise at the sight of what was inside. It was a box. A puzzle box, to be exact. And on the cover was a picture collage of them. No wonder his mom had taken so many photos.

There was one of them cuddling on the couch. Another had them kissing under the mistletoe. Others depicted them outside, making snow angels or building snowmen.

There were dozens of them, all arranged perfectly.

They opened the box and were met with hundreds of puzzle pieces that no doubt organized themselves to make that collage on the cover of the box.

"How did you-?" Dean got out, picking up puzzle piece after puzzle piece, as if to make sure they were real.

Obviously enjoying their surprise, Claire grinned. "I have my ways."

Then it was Cas and Dean's turn to wrap Claire in hugs, although they refrained from giving her too many cheek kisses.

"Let's build it now?" Cas suggested, glancing at Dean for approval. His soulmate nodded, and they were about to leave for the living room when Claire stopped them with a stern look. She gestured at the still messy table, and the boys sheepishly put the puzzle down and started helping clear the table.

Claire insisted on doing the dishes this time, and shooed them away to go do the puzzle.

They pushed the half-built Death Star aside and decided to focus on making the puzzle. But, seconds before spilling all of the pieces onto the floor, Dean snapped his fingers and his eyes brightened. "Fort! We should totally build a fort!"

"A fort? Here?" Cas hadn't built one of those in years. Not since he was still in elementary school. But back then, the forts could be small and he'd still be able to fit in them. He didn't know how they would both manage to squeeze themselves into one now.

But Dean was fully confident in his fort-building abilities and nodded. "And then we can make the puzzle in the fort!" And the excited gleam in Dean's eyes flushed all of Cas's doubts away as they began assembling a fort.

Dean was in charge, that much was obvious. He'd point at the coffee table and gesture at Cas, who took it as an order to move it in the direction that Dean motioned at. He instructed Cas to get as many blankets as possible, as well as pillows and chairs. While Cas was getting the materials, Dean was pushing couches together and lugging chairs from halfway across the house.

And when Cas returned with armfuls of blankets and pillows, Dean slipped a pillow from the pile and swung it at Cas's head, prompting a pillow fight.

You would think that these were two five year olds instead of students at college age.

Claire had bustled in at one point to see what the noise was about. At the sight of the LEGO Death Star sitting on the floor in the middle of their playful battle, she had shrieked that they immediately move it away, out of harm's reach.

The pillow fight turned into a wrestling match, and the boys rolled around on the floor, trying to pin the other to the ground, crashing into most of the objects that were positioned as the inner structure of the fort. Cas had almost succeeded once, having tickled Dean into submission and trapped his arms to his sides, he was seconds away from announcing victory when Dean had heaved himself upward and turned them over so that their positions were reserved. He grinned fiendishly and straddled Cas's waist, pinning his arms to the ground with his hands. Cas struggled against him but resistance was futile.

"I win," Dean declared and leaned forward, lowering his voice to a whisper. "What's my prize?"

Cas stuck his tongue out at him and tried bucking Dean off but the older boy held fast, only leaning down more and more until their noses almost touched. They didn't move for a moment, savoring the closeness. And then Dean's soft lips were pressing onto his own, moving slow and sweet. Cas relaxed into the touch, kissing Dean back with such love and affection that his head swam.

Dean loosened his grip on Cas's wrists, bringing one hand to Cas's head before running it through the messy hair there. Cas took the opportunity to lunge forward and flip them over, this time pinning Dean to the floor and pinning his arms to the ground, using Dean's own previous position against him.

Cas beamed down at the struggling Dean. "Guess you don't win after all."

But then Dean wormed his hand out of Cas's grip and pulled Cas down, their lips meeting again. This kiss was just as sweet as the last one, more even. It was sunshine and snow angels and Christmas trees and songs on the guitar.

It was home.

End a/n: As I mentioned in the update I am leaving again, this time for two weeks. Again, I won't be able to post anything during that time so you guys will have to wait a bit for the next chapter. Spoiler alert! It will have Sam and Gabe in it! Get excited!