Chapter 18-

Nothing. They found nothing! Hiccup dismounts from Toothless, angry, disappointed, andfr. They searched for hours with nothing. Toothless could not pick up Storm's sent after a few miles and Åse's he could never find. Their hearts hurt neither male considers themselves much without their female counterpart.

"Hiccup?" Stoick calls to his son who is leaning on Toothless as they walk away. Not having the energy or strength to fight Hiccup turns to his father barely holding himself together. "I know how it feels son. It will get better." Stoick says trying to ease Hiccup's pain. "She's not dead. Åse is not dead and neither is Storm." Hiccup hisses at Stoick further enraged that he would voice such a terrible thing. They can feel that their mates are not dead. Hidden away somewhere but not dead. They can not be dead.

Stoick nods his head unsure if it's denial or the woman is actually alive with her dragon. "You don't believe me." Hiccup accuses his anger starting to get the better of him. The young leader needs an outlet to release his furry and if it's the man that beat him bloody when he was younger then so be it. "You don't know them. Åse is the strongest woman I have ever met. Even Grimmel is afraid of her and Strom is a queen night fury they're-" Stroick interprets his boy by calling his name, cutting off the young chieftain who was begging to get too loud.

"You're right I don't know them, why don't you tell me about them?" Stoick offers hoping that it will calm the lad down. Hiccup nods with no hesitation when he talks about her he can see her face live in the memory and right now it's what he needs.

Hiccup sits on the ground and motions for his old man to sit next to him. "You don't need to tell me how you met. Tuff told every ear on the island. She really saved your life?" Stoick questions Hiccup with a bushy red brow in the air.

"She physically and mentally saved me. I was going off a deep end purposely putting myself in harm's way, drinking until I couldn't remember my name, I hung around men who wanted nothing more than to see me dead because I wanted to die. I had no one other than Toothless and he didn't need me." Hiccup admits. Toothless seeming to know what story is being told nudges his rider lovingly as if to say I'm always going to need you.

Hiccup smiles to Toothless, "Thanks bud. I'm always going to need you too."

Stoick eyes the dragon-human curiously. He's never seen any dragon behave as such mostly because he never gave it the chance too. Berk's motto is kill or be killed it always has been but seeing how Toothless and his boy interact makes him question his tribe's ways. Maybe they have been wrong about the winged creatures? Maybe they are delicate souls? Or the trained ones are at least.

"Wanting to die is kind of how I ended up on the island but I wasn't going to make it easy for them. However that's not what the Gods had planned for me when I came to a woman standing over top of me, her blue eyes staring into my soul and for the first time in a long time I felt something other than the dark emptiness I had grown accustomed to. For the first time I felt validated and seen by another human. I felt this warm tingling in my core, my head was spinning, and my palms were sweating. Honestly she made what I felt for Astrid seem like staring at lighting bugs in the day time compared to the volcano she erupted within me and all because of one look. One small gaze with those shining, light blue eyes." Hiccup explains to his father. His green eyes staring at the stars seeming a thousand miles away while his body stays on the ground.

Stoick lets out a chuckle remember a similar feeling Valka gave him. Hiccup cracks a smile of his own finding it hard to believe he would ever tell such a mushy story to his old man to anyone!

"She was one of the only people I talked to for a while. She went on flights with me, trained me, and taught me about dragons. She always had my back even when I was wrong. She let me stay on her island and when I decided it was time to leave she visited me just to make sure I was still alive…she got me away from the grave I was heading for. Showed me all that I could be, the power that was in me and Toothless, she never gave up on me ever. She encouraged me, healed me though my dark days, wiped away my tears when I cried, and cheered me on every step of the way. She built this man you see today out of the boy I used to be. I'll always be grateful for that." Hiccup's voice soon faded out. His wife was always there for him but when she needed him most he wasn't there. That thought alone makes his anger swell and his heart sink. Where was he when she needed him?

"When did you know you loved her?" Stoick questions wanting to keep his son's mind away from the self punishment he knows Hiccup is inflicting on himself. He did that same thing for years after Valka was taken away by the dragon.

"I knew I loved her the moment she opened her mouth with that damn taunt, 'I'm not going to bother with asking which of you decided it was a good idea to land on an island with cannibalistic Viking because I know dragons aren't that stupid.' She yelled at me for about an hour after that but I couldn't really focus…" Hiccup lets out a nervous chuckle and squeezes his legs tightly together.

Stoick understands and lets out a loud laugh. Hiccup throws his head back slightly embarrassed that he can't tell his father everything because he was trying to hide a boner due to Åse's loud and angry yelling when they first met.

Despite what many men believe it was never his wife's beauty that attracted him, it was her spirit, her fire, her determination, compassion, and loving soul that made him fall so fast for her. She could wear a bag over her head and a barrel on her body for all he cared and he would still love her the same.

"Well when did you two decide to tie the knot?" Stoick is very interested in that particular moment in his son's life. He missed it which he doesn't blame his son for but he wants to know.

"We married the day we were reunited. The wedding was huge despite the short notice. You should've seen her. She looked like a queen made from sugar cubes and clouds. As if she was pulled from your wildest imagination and your sweetest dreams. She looked amazing. Her dress gave the morning sky a run for its money. It fell past her feet and slowly dragged behind her. This fabric they call lace was sewn into these small flowers all around her and this corset she had on hugged every curve but still left a lot to the imagination. She looked so damn beautiful I thought Freya took the time out of her day to make her."

Tears began to brew in Hiccup's eyes, his face fell to the ground as he retold the memory with a broken voice. His heart is pounding and the sinking feeling inside him is killing him slowly.

Hiccup places his head between his knees feeling like he did when he was a child. Helpless. Stoick watches his boy fold into tears like he has many times before, he doesn't know what to do, he never has. Stoick finds himself just watching starting with uncertainty but then he remembers this watching, this doing nothing while his son was helpless is ultimately what pushed him to run away from his home in the first place.

Deciding to swallow his stupidity and the belief that a man should never cry he places his hand on his son's back moving closer to him to help comfort him in the time of need. He rubs Hiccup's back forward and backward over and over until he could only hear the small nearly silent sniffles every now and then. Hiccup finally moves his head up, his eyes pinky and puffy from all the tears. "Thank you," Hiccup mumbles to his old man and stands to his feet. He begins to walk away. He wants to find somewhere to sleep since he won't be able to go to his home with only Toothless; they've both grown accustomed to falling asleep with their mates without them going to that home is pointless.

As his rider and best friend walks off Toothless watches Stoick who is still in his spot seemingly frozen with a tilted head and hopes maybe just maybe he and Hiccup finally have some small chance at a relationship after all?

Toothless lets out a small croon saying thank you to the mountain like viking as well before scurrying off to be with his rider.