A/N: This planet has been requested (a looong time ago) by GuesssWho, and now I finally got round to writing it! I hope you all enjoy, and yes I'm stuck in quarantine writing fanfiction... I have a big project on the go so look forward to that ;)
"Tivoli?" frowned the Doctor. "Why?"
The Master swung around the console, a grin on his face.
"Because I want to conquer it. Its native species enjoy being conquered. Why else does anyone go there?"
The Doctor shrugged and muttered something about the hiking trails being quite nice, actually, but the Master ignored him and began typing in co-ordinates.
"Whatever, it's my turn. You can't stop me."
The Doctor sighed, following the other Time Lord around the console as he twisted levers and hit buttons. "You are so childish. Why are you still trying to conquer planets?"
The Master kept walking, slightly faster than the Doctor so he was always one set of controls ahead. "Because it's fun!"
"This is like Drile all over again."
"Nothing even happened on Drile! I had tea and left."
"When are you going to learn to appreciate the universe?"
The Master stopped and turned, his hand hovering over the takeoff lever. "I am appreciating it… by conquering it!"
He gave the lever a mighty tug and it snapped clean off the console. The TARDIS lurched into flight, throwing them both to the floor before they could even register what had happened.
The Doctor sprang up first, hitting the stabilisers and spinning a small wheel under the console which balanced the flight pattern. Letting the TARDIS cruise on automatic, he turned and glared at the Master, who remained on the floor, the lever still in his hand and a look of dumbfounded surprise on his face.
"Well done, idiot!"
This insult brought the Master back to reality. He glared back at the Doctor, getting to his feet and brandishing the lever. "It just snapped off! I wasn't pulling it that hard!"
"You broke my TARDIS!"
"Your TARDIS is a wreck!"
"She's an antique!" the Doctor patted the console protectively. "You need to be gentle!"
"Oh yeah, like you and your mallet of delicacy," snorted the Master, moving around to examine the mount on the console where the lever had been attached. "I can fix this easily. Give me ten minutes and a lemonade."
The TARDIS gave a thrum of engines and rattled to a halt. The scanner screen swung around to face the Master, fizzling to life and showing a view of grassy green mountains. At the same time, the doors creaked open and an inviting waft of fresh air drifted in.
The Doctor raised his eyebrows. "I think that's her way of saying she wants you off."
The Master shrugged, pulling away from the console and grabbing his hoodie. "Suits me." He made for the doors. "See you later!"
The Doctor had a sudden traumatic flashback to the last time the Master had walked out first - they had nearly been gunned down by a dozen angry Scotsmen whom the Master had somehow managed to insult all at once and in an impressively short amount of time. The Doctor gave the console an apologetic glance and then grabbed his coat and followed the blond Time Lord out into the sunlight.
The Doctor's coat billowed majestically as they walked along a grassy ridge, following a well-worn path. The sky over their heads was lime green with fluffy white clouds and three suns, all shining directly into the valley far below them, which was lost in mist. Rocky mountains capped with grass rose from the clouds around them like heads poking out of a steam bath.
The Master was eyeing his coat, and the Doctor knew he was secretly jealous. He grinned.
"You should totally get a coat."
The Master scoffed, stuffing his hands in his hoodie pocket. "No way."
"Yes way!" the Doctor turned and began walking backwards, enjoying the cool breeze whipping through his hair. "A big black one. Then we could match!"
"Do you have any idea how embarrassing that would be?"
"You used to have one! What, did I make them uncool or something?"
"You make everything uncool."
The Time Lords' banter faded away when they rounded a huge crag and came face-to-face with a breathtaking sight.
A city was built into the mountains - huge roads and bridges spanned the towering peaks and white-roofed houses jutted like teeth along its edges, connected by smaller pathways and winding stairways. Yet more houses were carved into the rock itself like rabbit warrens, and tiny squares of farmland covered the gentler slopes in the distance. Plazas and parks hugged the cliff-face, their edges overflowing with wildflowers and waterfalls spilling down into the clouds. A cluster of imposing buildings crowned the tallest mountain.
The Doctor whistled appreciatively. "That is some beautiful engineering."
"Sky-cities are some of my favourite cities," conceded the Master, leading the way towards a towering archway ahead of them that marked the entrance to the metropolis. "Nice views, easy to defend - and lots of cliffs you can chuck people off."
They reached the archway, which was guarded by a Tivolian in a blue uniform and hat. A sign above his head read, 'If you occupied us, you'd be home by now'.
"Greetings, travellers!" said the Tivolian upon sighting them. He had a squeaky voice and a diminutive stature, and was clutching a clipboard full of papers. He rifled through it as they approached. "Welcome to Lovilus, capital city of Tivoli and cowering dominion of the, er…." he scanned a page. "Actually, we're unoccupied at the present moment. My name is Chitterwag, How may I help you?"
"Hi," said the Doctor. "We're here to-"
"Invade and conquer your pathetic planet," said the Master smoothly.
Chitterwag the Tivolian gave a little squeal of excitement, his rodent-like nose twitching. Then he frowned, glancing over their shoulders as if expecting to see an army march around the mountain.
"Err… just the two of you?"
"Yes!" said the Master, reaching for the clipboard. "How does this work, then? Where do I sign?"
"Actually, just him," amended the Doctor. "I'm strictly uninvolved, unless he starts killing people." He gave the Master a meaningful glance, which was ignored.
"Wonderful," said Chitterwag a little nervously. "Um, it's just… well, usually people who want to invade us, they actually invade. You know, pillage and plunder, that sort of thing."
The Master sighed. "Well, I don't have time for that." He stepped through the arch and onto the wide bridge that led towards the city, striding onwards as if he already owned it. Chitterwag scuttled in his wake and the Doctor tagged along behind, his expression somewhere between concern and amusement.
"I'm a very busy man, you understand?" the Master was saying.
Chitterwag was nodding. "Yes, yes, of course."
"I've got a city to run, haven't I?"
"Uh… yes?"
"First things first, I want my face carved into that mountain." The Master was still striding officiously, talking fast as he walked. "But tastefully, you understand? And I will need a dozen servants, preferably not ugly ones. And all your gold is to be reclaimed, melted down and forged into a magnificent throne for me."
Chitterwag began scribbling frantically on the clipboard. "Yes, of course, of course. I shall have to inform the temporary council of your impending planetary proprietorship, Sir…?"
"Master. You may call me Master."
"Of course, Master."
Chitterwag rushed ahead, nearly tripping over his own feet. The Master turned and gave the Doctor an incredulous grin, mouthing, Can you believe this?
The Doctor stuffed his hands into his coat pockets and rolled his eyes. This was going to be a long day.
Several hours later, and with very little resistance, the Master had made himself completely at home as Supreme Ruler of Tivoli.
Deciding he needed a new Supreme Ruler outfit, he had commissioned a custom-tailored robe of crimson red, with delicate golden inlays and a black lining which shimmered as he walked down the main market street of Lovilus, Tivolians prostrating themselves at his feet left right and centre.
The Doctor watched from the shadow of a shopfront, sipping a cool drink and trying not to laugh as the Master waved his hand imperiously at the rabble.
He followed at a distance as the Master led the adoring Tivolians to the edge of a beautifully maintained park overlooking the sheer drop into the clouds. He clambered onto a pedestal and turned to face them all, the suns glinting behind him and the wind whipping his hair and robes dramatically.
"My new citizens!" he called, his voice carrying over the crowd. "First of all, let me just say thank you - you are all so delightfully subservient and snivelling, it was simply a pleasure to conquer you. So let it be known that the Master is pleased. Let it be known that on this day, the Master became overlord and Supreme Ruler of Tivoli - and he looked down upon his subjects, and his land, and-"
Unfortunately, nobody found out what else the Master looked down upon, because at that moment a strong gust of wind caught his ceremonial robes and tipped him off the edge of the cliff.
There was a collective gasp from the crowd, and a few Tivolians wailed in despair as their new overlord disappeared into the nothingness below with a yelp of surprise. The Doctor finished his drink, thanked the shop keeper and made a stealthy beeline for the nearest set of steps leading down into the valley.
He found the Master halfway down the mountain, dangling upside-down from a low, gnarled tree.
"Need a hand?" The Doctor grinned down at him.
In reply he received a long groan of pain.
"Owwww."
The Master slowly let himself slide out of the tree and into the long grass. His new Supreme Ruler robes were shredded by branches, and his left arm and right leg were crooked at odd angles.
"Anything broken?" the Doctor asked, although he suspected he already knew the answer. Reaching down, he grabbed hold of the Master's arm and pulled him to his feet.
The Master gave a yell of pain and pulled away from him, clutching his broken arm to his chest and hopping on one leg, glaring.
"Yes! Ow! Call yourself a Doctor?"
"Call yourself a Supreme Ruler?" countered the Doctor. He was still grinning playfully, and the Master seemed to realise that he was not taking the situation remotely seriously.
"I was a great Supreme Ruler," he muttered. The Doctor noted the past tense with approval, and held out his arm, gently this time.
"Allow me to escort you back to the TARDIS, then, my lord?"
The Master took a shaky step forward, stumbled in the long grass and grabbed the Doctor's arm for support. Judging by his look of disgust, this had not been his original plan, but he reluctantly clung on and allowed the Doctor to support him back up the mountain.
"You know what your problem is?" said the Doctor conversationally as they crossed back over the bridge and made their way around the rocky crag towards the TARDIS. "You take yourself way too seriously."
"Don't know what you mean," muttered the Master.
The Doctor raised his eyebrows.
"You were talking about yourself in third person back there."
This prompted a small smile from the Master, and the Doctor beamed. He unlocked the doors and helped the Master into the pilot's seat, where the blond Time Lord collapsed with a grunt of pain.
"Right, get me a medical pack."
"Ahem." The Doctor coughed. "I would love to, unfortunately I think we're fresh out."
"Well, let's go get some more."
By way of reply, the Doctor bent down and scooped up the broken takeoff lever from the floor. With his other hand he reached into his jacket and withdrew a flathead screwdriver, then held both objects out to the Master with an expectant stare.
"What?" the Master sighed. "I'm not bloody fixing your ship."
"You said it would take you ten minutes."
The Master stared at him. "Doctor, it may have escaped your notice but I have a broken arm. As in, actually broken. It hurts. Big ouch."
The Doctor shrugged, placed the lever and the screwdriver on the console and turned to leave the room. "You broke it, you fix it."
"I didn't break it! A tree broke it!"
"I wasn't talking about your arm!" called the Doctor, heading towards the interior doors. "Want some lemonade?"
The Master hesitated, then pulled himself out of the pilot's seat and moved to the console, snatching up the screwdriver with his good hand.
"I hate you," he growled.
"I'll take that as a yes!" came the Doctor's echoing voice as he disappeared in the direction of the kitchen.