Disclaimer: I don't own Y&R
Hi everyone! Thank you for reading and leaving the wonderful feedback. It means a lot.
This one is for you Nat! Your elevator scene ;) I hope you enjoy it!
Amanda wasn't sure how she had ended up in this situation. She had agreed to work for Chancellor on the stipulation that she would only work with Billy via emails and texts?
Now barely 2 days later, here she was, in her office, with Billy sitting across from her.
It was Lily's fault if she was to put blame on anyone.
Lily was the one in charge of the employee contracts and the one she should have been having this meeting with but yet again, she had an emergency with one of her kids.
Honestly, how many times did college age kids need their parents' rescue?
Anyway here she was, working really hard to concentrate on the pages of the document before her, trying to ignore him but that was proving to be impossible.
He was distracting her!
She could feel his eyes on her. She could feel them burning a path on her skin and her whole body was hot, her nerves tingling, reacting to his gaze.
And it's not like she wasn't doing the same thing.
She found herself sneaking glances at him, her eyes cataloguing him from his wavy hair which she knew was as soft as it looked, his lips currently biting the end of the pen he was holding, lips which always made her feel hot bothered as she recalled how they felt against hers, his fair skin, the way his hands looked, big, vainly, manly, the way that suit looked on his lean frame…
He was a very attractive man. That she had always noted and acknowledged.
What she also knew was she wasn't supposed to be admiring him.
She was with Nate.
They just had their second date, a lunch which was interrupted by Lily and Billy but she really wanted to try things with him. He was a great guy, easy to talk to and had his life in order. No skeletons in his closet and as far as she knew, he was an upstanding citizen. Their friends also endorsed them which meant no drama.
So why was she still drawn to Billy?
They spent over a month without seeing each other but it didn't seem to matter. As soon as she saw him, everything in her reacted to him as though drawn by an invisible force.
Deciding the best way to get out of her thoughts and this situation was to hurry and finish what they were doing, she returned to her work with a purpose.
After making some corrections on the document, she reached out for another file that she needed to reference. She froze as soon as she touched it when her hand was suddenly covered by his very large one. She could feel its warmth and texture, sending tingle up her whole arm.
She looked up and her eyes met with his, holding their gaze, heart beating fast, unable to look away. Time seemed to still, everything else faded as she got lost in his eyes.
Billy gently began to move his fingers on her soft smooth skin, his eyes still holding hers, watching as she reacted to his touch. Her eyes darkened, her breath caught in her throat and he thought she had never looked so beautiful.
He was about to say something when she suddenly snatched her hand out of his, taking him by surprise.
"Enough with this." said Billy slamming his hands on the desk, startling Amanda in the process. He had enough. He couldn't take it anymore. The hot and cold attitude was getting to him and it was time they talked. "Are we going to pretend like there is nothing going on between us?"
"Nothing is going on between us." said Amanda looking back to the papers she was working on.
"We kissed Amanda. That is not nothing."
"And we agreed to be friends!" pointed out Amanda.
"No we did not agree." said Billy standing up.
"Yes we…"
"No Amanda!" interrupted Billy. "You are the one who said you wanted to be friends. I didn't agree to it. I don't want to just be your friend. I want more. I thought I made that clear!"
"How did you make that clear?" said Amanda also standing up, facing him. "How? By walking out on me after we kissed?" She really didn't want to talk about that moment when her heart broke seeing him leave her. She just wanted to be out of here so she began clearing the desk.
"Ok I made a mistake by doing that but I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't expect you to turn around and say let's be friends!" How was this turning out to be his fault? He had told her what was in his heart, opened up to her and she had thrown it in his face!
"Because I thought that is what you wanted!" Amanda shouted frustrated. What else was she supposed to think? He had kissed her, she kissed him back then he says, 'that's it' and walks out.
"What?" said Billy surprised. Is that what she really thought? "No! You got it all wrong. Amanda I meant what I said to you…everything!"
"It doesn't matter what you meant anymore."
"It matters! It changes everything!"
"It changes nothing! I'm with Nate, Billy!"
"And is he who you want?"
Amanda was momentarily silent as she gaped at him, an answer failing to come out. Was Nate what she really wanted? Despite him being perfect for her on paper, was he what she really wanted?
"Amanda?" said Billy looking at her, waiting for her answer. The conflict was clear on her face. He knew she wanted him. That kiss made it clear for him. The way she looked at him and reacted to him made it clear to him. But did she also want Nate?
Just as she was about to respond, the sound of her phone ringing pierced through the air.
Amanda sighed and picked it up and checked the caller ID. It was Nate. She looked a Billy briefly before she answered. "Hi, Nate… Yeah I'm fine… I'm just about done with work too. How about we meet at Society in 30? ... Great. See you."
She hung up the phone, tension in the air.
"So that's it? You are going to see him?" said Billy with disappointment. Why was she doing this? What did he need to do to show her he wanted her, that he was serious?
"Yes. He is my boyfriend."
"Boyfriend?" said Billy with raised brow. When did the good doctor earn that title?
"Yes. Got a problem with that?"
"Yes As a matter of face, I do. You are acting like you want to be with him when we both know you don't want him."
"And how would you know that?"
"The way you kissed me is plenty telling."
Amanda fought back a blush at that. "That kiss was a mistake and shouldn't have happened!" she shouted before she took a breath and said, "You know what, I'm done here" She picked up her handbag and after placing her phone inside, she switched off her computer and began walking to the door.
Billy reached out and grabs her hand as she was passing him. "Amanda…"
Amanda glared at him and he immediately let go of her hand. With one short look and after a heartbeat, Amanda turned and stormed out of the office, Billy at her heel.
"Amanda wait!" said Billy.
Amanda swivelled around, her hair actually whipping with the speed she did it, glared at him said, "There is nothing that you are going to say that will change my mind. You and I are friends. That's it. Get that in your head." With one more glare, she reached the elevator and punched the open button.
"I don't believe that is all we are and you know it. You pretend as if you want to be with Nate when we both know you don't want. You have been on just 2 dates in over a month!"
The elevator doors opened in that moment and Amanda entered while saying, "Yeah well, we are going to our third now!" She rolled her eyes when Billy entered too. She ignored him and punched the ground floor. The sooner she got out and left him, the better.
She was startled when Billy suddenly hit the emergency stop button. The elevator jerked before coming to a stop.
"What the hell are you doing!" staring at him in disbelief. He could get them killed! She made to reach for the button. "Turn it back on!"
"Stop!" said Billy grabbing her hand for the second time. "No one is touching that button until you and I have talked."
"I don't want to talk to you especially about this!"
"Then be prepared to miss that 3rd date with your boyfriend!" Billy knew he was being petty but he was past caring. He wanted her and she was going to talk to him whether she liked it or not.
"Fine! Then we will sit here until we die of cold or hunger." said Amanda stubbornly.
"Why are you being like this?! I want to be with you Amanda and I know you want me too! Why can't you admit that and put us out of our misery?"
"Because there is nothing to admit to! Yes. We kissed. So what?! I am with Nate. I chose Nate and I am happy with him!" shouted Amanda
"You don't mean that!" said Billy filled with hurt and jealousy. He loved her damn it. There was nothing special about Nate and he was going to show her.
"I do and the sooner you accept it, the better our lives can he."
"Even if you say that as loud as you can, it wont make it true and you know it. You are running but guess what? It wont work!"
"It will work as soon as you learn to keep your distance!"
"You mean like how we didn't interact for a month and yet you were staring back at me?" said Billy. "Face it Amanda, this, us, it's not going away."
"You are wrong."
"I'm not and I'm going to prove it to you." He said before he pulled her to him and his lips descended on hers, tasting the sweetness he had so missed. He could feel her struggle against him before she surrendered, her arms holding on to his shoulders as they kissed.
Amanda moaned, feeling his tongue enter her mouth and tangle with hers. His kisses were like a drug, intoxicating, drawing her in and she couldn't help it. Unlike their first kiss, where he had been gentle allowing her to set the tone, this one was passionate from the get go, with Billy taking charge.
Billy turned, maneuvering them until her back was against the way as they continued to kiss, only breaking to take a gasp of air. Their hands were a frenzy, touching and caressing wherever they could reach.
Amanda's hands soon went to his shirt, opening up his buttons before touching his bare skin. It was like he was being burned, branded with his touch and he didn't want it to stop. He was harder than he had ever been and he wanted her. His hands went around her back, lowering her zipper touching the smooth skin of her back.
Amanda moaned as she felt his lips on her neck, his hands trailing on her skin, lowering her bra strap and kissing her shoulders, bucking her hips when his lips circled around her nipples. It felt so good.
His tall lean frame towered over her, his scent and the warmth of his body clouding her mind and magnifying her arousal. She had never been so aroused before. Her body ached for him in a way she had never wanted anyone. Everything she was doing, touching him, kissing him, it was all instinct, her body just craving him. She raised her leg, wrapping it around his waist, throwing her head back as she moaned feeling Billy's hand caress the inside of her thigh bunching her dress up in the process.
"Billy…" she moaned when his hand traced the outline of her panties before her own hands began working frantically on his pants, opening his belt and lowering his zip. Her hand reached inside and touched him. He was big, hard and she wanted him inside her.
Billy knew he had to be inside her especially with the way her small hand was touching him. He wanted her so bad. He held her ass, lifting her up, her legs automatically going around his waist. One hand trailed her thigh to her pussy, entering her wet hot channel with his fingers. She was so wet and ready for him.
Amanda couldn't concentrate on anything but him. Her hands clutched his shoulders, holding on for dear life, back arching as his lips and hands wreaked havoc on her nerve points. "Please…" she begged, for what she didn't know. She just wanted relief from all this pleasure.
She gasped out when he suddenly entered her in one thrust, filling her up. it was so good, so overwhelming and it didn't take long before she was orgasming, eyes closed, back arched pleasure filled her threatening to fry her nerves.
There was silence as they tried to catch their breaths and as their senses came back to earth, Amanda looked at Billy in horror.
"Oh my God." said Amanda her eyes wide as she stared at Billy.
"Amanda?" said Billy, still on a high from what had happened which was going against the look on her face.
"Oh my God!" repeated Amanda before she began scrambling straightening her clothes. She couldn't believe she had done this with him. How had it gone from I am with Nate to having sex! This is why she should never have accepted this job
"Amanda…relax." Said Billy. He could see the panic in her eyes and he wanted to remove it. He hadn't meant for things to escalate like that but after their lips met, he couldn't control himself.
"Relax?" said Amanda incredulous. "We just had sex Billy!"
"Which we both enjoyed." He pointed out.
"That's beside the point!" said Amanda feeling her face get hot. "We shouldn't have done this! As if things are complicated already now we have to add sex on the list!" She picked up her handbag. "I need to go."
"Amanda…"
"Please, Billy…Just let me go."
Billy sighed and pressed the emergency button. There was silence as the elevator began moving again each lost in their thoughts. As soon as the doors opened, Amanda bolted out of there. Billy just looked at her watching her walk away. He had a feeling he had just lost her and his heart was heavy.
XXX
Amanda felt the cool air hit her face as she exited the building but it did nothing to calm her or stop her escalated heartbeat. She couldn't believe what had just happened and yet she could still feel his touch on her body, his lips on her skin and him moving within her. She could feel the wetness between her legs, evidence that she had in fact had sex with Billy Abbott.
Oh God…
She got to the Grand phoenix and she was glad Phyllis wasn't in sight. She was in no mood to talk to anyone. She knew if Phyllis took one look at her, she would be interrogated until she confessed things she wasn't ready to talk about.
Getting to her hotel room, she immediately shed off her clothes, her face hot at what she had done. Picking up her phone, she texted Nate that she wouldn't be coming then she turned it off and went straight to the shower.
As the hot water hit her body, her mind went again to the moments with Billy. Now that she was thinking clearly, she wasn't surprised they had sex. From the moment she met him, she had thought he was an attractive man and that morning when he kissed her, she had been aroused and if she was honest with herself, if he hadn't walked out, she might have jumped him.
She wanted him and the pull between them was so hard to ignore even after weeks of being apart. She knew she loved him. Ok maybe love was too strong a word but she had feelings for him, deep feelings that scared her.
She wasn't ready for the intensity that Billy brought in her life and yet, she craved it. With Nate things were calm, fine, and comfortable but with Billy, everything was exciting, explosive.
What to do?
Her mind was still whirling when she left the shower. She decided to leave her suite at least for a while, take a walk to clear her head and think of what her next step should be. She changed into black jeans, a red top and leather jacket before she took her wallet and left the room. She stood at the pavement wondering where to go before she decided to go to the park. At least she could have some peace and quiet and not risk running into Billy.
The sky was clear with the moon and stars, a perfect night to take a walk. She walked slowly through Chancellor Park, breathing in the sweet scent of the flowers, grass and the air itself. She decided to take a seat on one of the many benches available and she was soon lost in her thoughts. Events filled her head, everything that had happened between her and Billy since their first meeting and with that answers slowly began to take shape and clarity filled her mind.
She now knew what she wanted, who she wanted. she hadn't even realized more than an hour had passed as she was lost in her thoughts. She got off the bench and began a slow walk to get out of the park. As she turned a corner, she suddenly stopped. The object of her thoughts was standing right there in front of her.
Billy.
At first she thought it was her imagination.
His back was facing her, still in the clothes she had last seen him in and she could see his jacket thrown over the bench close to him. He looked deep in thought. She was sure he hadn't noticed her.
She could just walk away but it seemed as if she was glued to the ground.
"Hi Amanda." He said before he turned around and faced her.
Amanda looked at him surprised that he had known it was her.
"Your perfume. I can tell it from anywhere." said Billy. It wasn't just her perfume. It was a combination of her perfume and something else that made it unique and just her.
"Oh." said Amanda her face feeling hot as she blushed.
Billy looked at her before he looked up at the sky. "It's a beautiful night."
"It is." said Amanda looking up at the stars
There was silence then Billy said, "How did your date go?"
"I didn't go."
"You didn't?" said Billy turning to look at her, his heart lifting just a little bit, a flicker of hope lighting up in him.
"Yes. I…I couldn't after what happened."
"I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean for it to get that far."
"Don't apologize. I could have stopped you if I wanted to." said Amanda. After a brief silence she sighed and said, "And it gave me the answers I needed." After another pause she said, "You were right."
Billy kept looking at her waiting for her to go on.
"All that you said to me in the office and the elevator, you were right. I kissed you back that morning and that kiss was amazing. I couldn't get it out of my mind no matter how much I tried."
"Then why did you ask us to be friends?" asked Billy gently glad she was finally opening up to him regarding them.
"Because I was confused and scared. I mean, ever since we met, it was this back and forth, what are we? The attraction, the chemistry, and the way we just clicked. We said we were friends but with time, it was more. Then you began to tell me all these things, things I wanted to hear but I couldn't believe. You wanted to be with me…but how could I believe that especially so soon after you left Victoria?" said Amanda pacing up and down as a way to collect her thoughts.
"And then you walked out after we kissed. I understand why you did it, but it left me confused. I thought you didn't want us and that's why I asked us to be friends. That's why I went to Nate. He was safe. He was comfortable. I was running to protect myself from the inevitable heartbreak I was sure would happen. After Ripley, my judgement was so skewed, I couldn't trust myself with you."
"Because of my past." said Billy. It now made sense. Ripley was a man she had trusted, a man she had thought was good and she had loved him and yet he showed his true colors and hurt her. How was he different from Ripley? In her eyes, knowing his past, he was a bad boy, who had done a lot of questionable things and stepped out on his partner. How could she trust him with her heart?
Amanda looked at him. He was staring right back at her, attentive, taking in every word she was saying with an acceptance that she felt she didn't deserve and yet warmed her heart. "Yes. You told me a lot about yourself, the mistakes you made and at the time, I became weary of you and I couldn't trust you with myself but you are not like Ripley. Ripley hid himself from me but you were honest from the start. I should have just trusted that instead of running and going to Nate."
She chuckled humorlessly. "It didn't help. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I missed you more that you know. I missed our bar chats and just being able to call you when I wanted to talk."
"I missed you too."
Amanda smiled at that. "I think that's why I accepted your job offer. It was my selfish way of wanting to be close to you and I realize that, unconsciously, it was my way of choosing you but that's how its been since we met. Its always been you."
Billy stared at her, his heart filling with happiness at what she was saying. He had waited for a long time to hear her say that. he already knew she meant a lot to him, high up there with his kids and to know she felt the same...it was amazing.
Amanda walked slowly up to him. "I came out here to be alone, to try and find answers to what I was feeling. I avoided all places I thought you would be and yet, I still found you. Why is that?" she asked softly staring into his eyes.
"Because it was meant to be." said Billy softly his hand coming to caress her cheek. Under the moonlight, she was so beautiful.
"Something about it feels right." she repeated the words he had told her that morning just before he kissed her. The words that had made her heart flutter.
"And it's worth taking a chance on." finished Billy with a smile watching as she smiled back. "I am sorry for walking out that morning. I can see now how it must have looked to you but I meant everything I told you. You shouldn't worry Victoria. She and I are done for good." he paused his arm snaking around her waist. "As for my past, I can only ask for a chance to prove to you that I would never hurt you."
"Your past is just that. Your past. We all have one. I know you are a good man Billy. We wouldn't be here if you weren't." said Amanda sincerely.
"Thank you." said Billy with a warm smile. "I want to be with you Amanda in all kinds of ways."
"I want to be with you too." whispered Amanda, happiness twinkling in her eyes.
Billy stared at her, cataloguing her gorgeous face before he leaned down, his lips meeting hers. Amanda snaked her hands around his neck while his were around her waist pulling her close as they kissed under the moonlight, a start to a new stage of their relationship.
The end
Whew…
Ok I struggled a bit with this one. I hope it came out ok and you liked it.
till next time.
keep the ideas and feedback coming!