****guess what**** I finished writing this story. I have no idea how many more chapters, because like The Disease, this moron forgot to number them. I can tell you that we're on page 295/379. So we're in the last like 1/3rd ish.
Now you can thank Vilbern and Smmahamazing for this.
Vilbern posted another chapter of the Painted Veil and Smmahamazing posted a gorgeous inukik on Tumblr!
So since I got two amazing artists, this chapter today (Sunday) and another Chapter on Monday/Tuesday and another on Thursday or Friday, our regular days :).
Vilbern tells me she's halfway done with the next chapter of the Painted Veil. Anyone else wanna bribe me to post more?
Sesshomaru
I felt that. I felt her fingers between my toes and the sting of pinched flesh. Suddenly, I've forgotten how to breathe, how to think, or even move. I've forgotten that she said she loved me, that we made love.
I reach for my toes, caressing the webbing. I can feel it.
"You felt that?" she asks me, sitting next to my toes. She reaches into her bag and pulls out a pen. She tests my Babinski reflex. I feel nothing until she comes up to my toes, between the webbing. The large toe moves ever so slightly to the side.
"I…"
"You should call your doctor. I'm so happy for you," she says, but her heart isn't it. Her eyes are ringed with something undefinable.
She begins checking my other foot. The sensation is similar, only slightly lower. I can feel the top of the ball of my foot. She encourages me to lean back, and runs the pen down my stomach, starting above my navel, across my hips. I feel nothing lower than I have in the past.
Reaching for my phone, I call my Neurologist, as instructed. The nurse answers and we run through the normal routine, name, date of birth. I'm so lost in telling her I felt sensation I'm repeating myself, getting ahead of myself. The doctors wants to see me in the morning. The office is closing soon and has no more openings.
I didn't know a room could feel so empty. When I look up again, she's gone, sucking the excitement out of the moment. I made love for the first time in four years and it isn't until I look down and see the white silhouette coating me that I know I orgasmed. Shit…
"Rin!" How long ago did she leave the room? Reaching for my pants, I pull them on as quickly as I can, then grab my chair and transfer. "Rin!" I yell again, hoping she'll hear me. My heart is racing. Every moment since the accident I have spent alone and it hurts that she would leave me now. Not that I blame her, I should have held her more closely to my heart, rather than push her away.
I wheel out of my room, down the hall, searching for her. "Rin!"
"She left," mother says from the couch. Her face is buried in a murder mystery.
I move past her to the door. I can see Rin through the window, chewing her bottom lip, a nervous tick I know she has.
A car pulls up, giving me only seconds to get out the door and blast down the ramp to stop her from leaving. "Where are you going?"
"Home. It's getting late and I have to work and hit the ice in the morning. And probably find a new coach because mine's been missing for six weeks." She steps towards the car, but I'm not letting her go so easily.
"Rin please?" Catching her by the wrist, I stop her from getting into the car. "Talk to me. I want to share this with you."
"Now you want to share it with me? What about before? I wanted to be with you in the hospital and after and you wouldn't let me near you!" She breaks into tears.
She's right. I woke up so groggy from the long surgery it took me hours to be able to form coherent sentences. As the anesthesia wore off, the pain came and it was considerable. It wasn't nearly as bad as when I have flare ups, but still it hurt to move, to transfer to my wheel chair and even more so when Suikotsu came to exercise my legs.
Mother slept on my floor as if I was a child again and was there to administer the pain medicine on schedule and help me move to and from the bathroom.
I didn't want Rin to see me like that, to see me in so much pain.
There's a twenty-something in the car giving us a look that screams, hurry up. Rin's mouth opens and then closes, but that doesn't hurt as much as the stream down her cheeks.
"We need to talk." Not giving her the chance to refuse, I pass the driver the last ten in my wallet, thank him for his time and ask him to leave. The entire time she's quiet. "You said you loved me." There's so much I want to say, but I don't know how. She's been my anchor for the last five months, the one who told me I could instead of I couldn't, who convinced me to believe, to dream. "Come with me."
"I want to go home," she sputters out.
"After we talk. Come with me." I pull on her wrist, encouraging her to walk with me.
She is so quiet it makes my heart stop. We go the backway into my garden. The place that I let no one in, except for Kieran. I take her to the apple tree. It's boughs are just beginning to blossom. By the end of the summer she'll yield me enough apples to feed myself, Inuyasha's family and Rin's. "Did you mean what you said?"
"Of course I meant it. I love you Sesshomaru," she can barely speak for the shaking of her shoulders. "I love you and you pushed me away."
I press my forehead against hers, trying to calm her, holding her close to my heart, so lost in how she smells, the way the wind whips her hair and in the warmth she gives me. She sees me, the real me and accepts who I am. What's more, is that unlike the others I have been around, she is content for me to be who I am. Give or take making me try new things, helping me make friends and being so much of what I need. "I love you. I have for a while now."
Her head snaps up, our eyes meet.
"I should have said it sooner. I love you." Our lips meet again, making me feel like we are flying, soaring through the air together. She holds me around the waist, scraping her teeth against mine.
"I love you," she whispers, my heart soars.
"How were you twenty five and still a virgin? I thought you and Shippo—"
"Just fingers and apparently not enough at once," she chuckles, the tears finally stopping. "Bya liked head, but he didn't do what you did and before that, it's complicated. I went to college at fifteen. Jailbait and grad school I was too busy."
"I'm flattered then, that you would want to love a cripple."
"You're not a cripple. Not to me anyway." She kisses my neck, and settles in my arms. "Do you still want to coach me?"
"If you'll have me. Forgive me." I kiss the joint of her neck and then her lips again. A part of me still wonders, what happens when she sees the worst?
"Stop shutting me out? Please?" She kisses my mouth.
"Rin, you don't know what it's like."
"Then show me. Let me be with you. I'm not going to abandon you just because things get hard."
She says that now. I want this. I want to be with Rin like this, in my garden to give her what she's given me. I can feel the brush of the wind against the part of my toe I can feel. "Take a shower with me?" I offer, taking a marshmallow out of her hair.
There's something sensuous about lathering a female body. They have curves in all the right spots. We're under a spray of hot water. I lather her back, her shoulders and then cup her breasts in both hands while kissing her neck. I want her again. She moans when my tongue slides up her neck and I suck on her pulse feeding off her warmth. She arches, baring her breasts, plump pink nipples that slide between my thumb and index finger. The next moan comes out as a whine. She brings my hand down between her legs, sliding further back in my embrace. "Touch me?"
I do. I find her clit and rub it in circular motions. Each time it's tugged up, she jumps in my lap. My fingers slide up and down her slit, memorizing the feel of her opening, the way her petals fold. I reach lower, searching for myself, deflated to find that although I am aroused, it's soggy. Suddenly I want to escape this sensuous moment.
"What's wrong?"
The last time I couldn't perform, I lost the love of my life, but Rin's so different.
She reaches down and when her hand comes back out, I know she's discovered what I did. "It's okay. Do you want me touch your stomach again?"
"I'll take care of you first." My hand glides up her thighs. She sets her heels on either side of my legs, baring her womanhood to me. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," she says confidently. "I'm just glad to be with you—uh…" I've found where she likes it.
The shower becomes quiet, while I learn the topography of her intimate parts. I find where she likes it the most, where to put the most pressure, that she bulges in the front the more aroused she gets and when she orgasms, she digs her nails into my shoulders and humps by hand. "Ow," she whispers at the end.
My hand retracts automatically and she goes limp in my arms. "I love you so much," I tell her.
"I love you. I'm so glad you felt something." Lazily she slides off my lap and spreads my legs, nipping and kissing my stomach. I can feel the heat boiling inside of me and the pressure building. Her tongue slides lower and lower, tickling where I can feel and not. Each time she comes up above my navel I groan in pleasure. Holding her head, I direct her mouth. A part of me wants her to take me in her mouth, but I won't feel it.
She kisses and sucks and then leans back, letting me watch her rub my shaft with her hand. I groan and sigh gripping the sides of the shower bench that's built into the wall. I can't feel her hand, but my mind can, and it fires over and over again until the water washes away my spray. I never thought I would be able to come again.
"Stay the night?" I don't want her to leave. I want to live in this moment.
The ice cream is soup by the time we leave the shower. She dresses in one of my undershirts that barely covers her bottom. We change the sheets and clean the mess of leftover rocky road. For the first time in years, embarrassment doesn't wash through me when I put a new waterproof liner on, or the chux pads I sleep with to keep the bed clean.
We collect tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, lettuce and peppers to make a salad in the kitchen and grill chicken, then curl up and watch movies in bed. At some point mother knocks on the door, asking if we saved anything for her. Rin shrieks in humiliation because she is wearing nothing underneath my white T-shirt and the cheeks of her bottom peek out from the hem.
Nonetheless I feed mother and send her off. "Is she still sober?"
"Shocking right? She's turned over a new leaf. She's been sober since she left in December. Despite the sleepless nights after the surgery, she turned to root beer instead."
Rin chuckles and then yawns widely. "I got my new boots. They're broken in now. No more bruises. I'm so tired." She hangs on me, so warm and so tight.
"You can sleep." I comb my fingers through her wet hair.
She cuddles into my side, resting her chin on my chest, closing her eyes and mumbles, "Can we sleep naked?"
"Naked?"
"Call me childish. I always had this dream that after I made love the first time, we'd snuggle in bed and sleep naked together. Please?"
"As you wish." I can't remember the last time I smiled so much. She removes the t-shirt, nervously moving closer to me. I take my pants off and my tank top.
"How…how do you sleep? I want you to be comfortable."
"On my sides."
"Okay."
"You can fall asleep how you want. I'll get comfortable after."
And she does, curled against my chest, muttering about how warm my skin is. She kisses my pec then passes out, snoring in no time. Just like that, I'm no longer alone.
I gaze at this woman in bed with me, wondering how I am so lucky. When you've lost the one you loved before from a life altering injuring, there is something so much more meaningful about the one who stays with you in spite of it. As the night moves on, she rolls onto her other side, making it easier for me to pull my legs into a comfortable position and fall asleep. I hold her around the waist, smelling her hair, her neck and taste her skin one last time before peacefully falling asleep.
Several hours later, we're both startled awake by her phone ringing. She reaches for it, while my eyes adjust and silences it. But then it rings again, almost a persistent nagging at my ears until she answers. "Hak?"
I can't hear what is said on the other end. She's a mess of black hair, falling down the side of her naked body. I sit up, massaging her shoulders and kissing her neck. I want her back down next to me, folded against my chest.
"I'm fine. What time is it? That late huh…yes I'm with Sesshomaru." We share a smile that says more than words can. "That is none of your business! I did not…maybe I did…I'm not answering these questions, it's two in the morning and we were sleeping! I'll be home in the morning. Love you, bye." She turns to me, and butt-snuggles her way back into my chest. "Sorry. Worried brother."
"It's okay," I mutter into her hair and the world goes black again. God, it feels good to have someone in my arms again.
Early in the morning, her alarm goes off. I want to ignore it, but I feel moisture on my middle, and immediately I know, paralysis has struck again. Fuck and it's not just on me. Gritting my teeth, I pull myself out of bed, quickly transferring to the chair and pulling the sheet off. I can't hide what happened.
"What's going on?" she asks me, but then she notices the moisture on her legs and waist. "Oh…"
"Fuck." If screaming would help, I would, but it doesn't. The sheets need to be changed, but more importantly I need to clean myself and cath whatever is left so I don't end up doing this again. This is what I feared would happen if I let her this close.
"It's okay," she tries to tell me.
Ignoring it, I go into the bathroom and take out a disposable catheter. Once I know I am empty, I go back into the shower and bury my head in my hands. This is humiliating and the hardest part is that I know at any moment, just like Kagura, Rin is going to realize this is too much.
The door opens. Rin joins me, increasing my humiliation. Doesn't she see it? "What are you doing in here?" It comes out so cold and callous that even I am shocked.
"Taking a shower." She twists around in the water, sluicing water over her curves. "I changed the bedding."
"Why would you do that?"
"Why are you so upset?"
"I didn't ask you to do that!"
"I didn't know you had to ask! Why are you yelling at me?" Her face falls, spiderwebs of red pain for in her eyes.
"Because I don't need your help!"
"Fine, you don't need my help." She steps out of the shower, nearly tripping on the lip, slamming the door behind her.
I slam a fist into the wall and immediately regret it. My knuckles ache and two of them immediately begin bleeding.
She storms back through the door, with tears streaming down her face. "You are such an idiot! You are going to push away the only good thing that has happened to you since you were hurt, all for your pride. You selfish, arrogant jerk!" She slams the door again.
After turning the water off, I hear her crying and a flurry of activity on the other side of the door.
Rin who has stood by my side, who acted like this accident was nothing. The same woman who asked me to coach her and spent so much time worrying about me while I was in the hospital.
"Rin!" I yell, grabbing my chair. Ignoring the fact that I nearly slip out of the chair, and lose my grip on the handles from the moisture. "Rin wait!"
A muffled yell makes its way through the door that sounds more like a protest. "Rin I can't chase you! Please!" My voice echoes off the walls of the bathroom. I adjust my posture so I don't fall out of it and open the door, catching her just as she is going for the hall. "Rin, I'm begging you, please…don't leave."
"I have to get to the rink," she refuses to look at me while she speaks.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, holding her wrist, so naked and vulnerable. "Please, Rin. Don't leave."
"I," she breaks, covering her eyes with her free hand and then turns to me, crawling into my lap. She holds my neck and sobs into my cheek. "Don't you get it? I don't care you are in this chair, or if it makes things harder. I love you…" she coughs and cries harder. "I promised when I made love, really made love it would be because I am in love." She shivers and shakes so hard, I break too. "I love you, you idiot!"
Tears slither their way down my cheeks to my chin and it finally hits me. She grew up in a home where love was the constant language, despite the pain she has experienced losing her mother and her aunt. "I…" It's so hard to speak. "I'm not used to having someone with me. Someone who wants to see this."
"I see you, isn't that enough?"
"It's not about seeing me. I couldn't lay on top of you last night to make love to you. I can't hold you in my arms standing up. You will always look down on me—"
"It doesn't matter! If it did, why would I be here. I fell in love with you for you, not because of the surgery you had, or because of the gold medals, or because I feel bad for you. I love you. Please don't push me away."
"I'm sorry." Our tears mingle against our cheeks. "Shh," I try to quiet her, feeling like shit but she only cries harder and harder until her back wracks with coughs and she struggles to breathe. "Hey." Lifting her chin, I kiss her lips. "Calm down."
"P-p-panic," she sputters out, gripping me tighter.
"Do you have medicine?"
"At home."
Great, now I've thrown the woman I love into a mess of anxiety and panic. "I have something for it. Do you want to take it?"
"Just hold me," she whispers and we wait for it to subside. I hold her the entire time, rubbing her back and whispering in her ears. For her part, she closes her eyes and breathes deeply, focused. During those moments, it becomes clear to me why she is reacting like this. They took in Shippo a lost soul and me. When they love, it comes from deep within the heart and encompasses everything. It doesn't matter that we aren't married, that we've never even dated, just that we are.
She pulls away from me. "I'm sorry…I haven't had one in a while."
"I'm so sorry," I whisper to her, kissing her mouth. "I haven't had anyone with me for so long."
"I'm here now. I have been. Please, let me into your world. You're not alone anymore."
Years ago, I thought I had no tears to left to cry. Nothing left to feel, until she said those words and the dam inside me breaks. I bury my face in her neck and shed four years of loneliness into her skin, four years of sorrow, four years asking, will anyone love me like this. "God, I love you."
We're late to the rink in the morning, getting there at six thirty instead of six. This time I was able to drive, thanks to having a licensed driver in the car.
Mother cast us a glance that said she heard what we were doing the night before. Her cheeks were red and eyes glinting in the sunlight. But however red her cheeks were, Rin's were an even dark shade.
The Honda Kicks is a spacious car. It's factory painted, dark grey with an orange sunroof, equipped with my handicap placard so I can park where I have plenty of room to get in and out of my car. "You've gotten good at this," Rin said to me as we drove to the rink.
"It only took a few weeks."
She starts chuckling softly at first and then much harder. "What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing…just that for once you had to struggle at something to get it right. It's not that hard to drive a car."
I would have reached to the side of the car and goosed her side, but I was too busy watching the road, and I don't have the freedom of a spare hand when I drive. Not unless I grow a third one.
Rin gets out and brings me the wheel chair from the trunk. I don't argue when she puts it together for me. Thanks to that row this morning over the sheets, I've learned that she wants to help, to feel like she is giving me her support. On the ride here, I decided that we'll both need time to figure out this relationship. Before we go in, I pull her into a passionate kiss, tasting coffee and cinnamon on her lips. "Mmh," she whimpers against me. "You made me sore."
"I said go slowly. You're the one that slammed it in. I was an innocent bystander."
"So innocent, you sat there and took it."
"I'd take it again," but then I pause and remember, "we didn't use a condom."
"Worried you're going to get me pregnant?"
"Now wouldn't be the best time."
"Then lucky for you I'm on birth control. I got the Mirena when Bya and I were going hot and heavy." She kisses me again. "I love you."
There's something about hearing those words as she clings to my shoulders. About knowing that she feels so strongly about me and most likely has for some time. "I love you." We kiss again. "It's getting cold. We should go inside."
She soars like an angel now on the ice, smooth, delicate, yet strong and supple at the same time. In my absence, she decided on using the music from the Last Samurai for the long program and Habanera by Charlotte Church for the short program.
She starts in the center of the ice and breaks out into something that resembles a rumba with more complicated steps and then sets up the first pass. The combined jumps would tally her up to 15 points, a strong start to the program.
Her feet twirl and circle on the ice until she throws herself into a camel spin with one leg out, then forward into a sit spin and rising into beautiful layback spin I nearly get dizzy watching.
And then it ends with her panting and catching her breath. "How was it?"
"Nearly perfect," I answer. "You wobbled on the jumps and traveled on the sit spin."
"How bad?" She skates up to me with a horrified expression on her face.
"Bad enough you'd lose points. You're rushing them. The movements need to be fluid, like in ballet." I raise my arms from side to side, "slowly raise your arms, and gradually draw your arms in. You're momentum is happening faster than you can control."
She smirks at me with her hands on her hips. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't already feeling aroused watching her skate on the ice and coming up with kinky fantasies of how we could make love against the back wall. Or if I could stand, take her from behind with one leg up, except it's been so long since I've been able to feel stimulation on myself that I forgot what sex actually feels like in my old body. In this one it's new and different and in some ways more sensual because I must rely on input from other parts of my body.
"Hello, are you listening to me?"
"Mmh?"
"What were you thinking about?" She comes closer and leans over my chair, grasping the handles. She kisses my lips, forcing the chair back until it hits the wall of the rink. She slides onto my lap and holds my shoulders. Our teeth scrape against each other, fingers twining in hair.
She rocks against me, bumping into my stomach, making me gasp. I slide my hands down her leggings, into her underwear, but she catches my hand. "It's still sore."
"I'll be gentle," I encourage her and slide down her slit. She may be sore, but she's wet against my hand. The moment my fingers brush against her clit, she rocks forward moaning.
"Ahem!" a rough voice clears on the other side of the ice. Moving my head from the forest of hair surrounding me, still cupping Rin's neck, I find Kaede on the rink cover the eyes of two of her younger skaters.
"We have company." I slide my hand out of her pants and wipe it on my leg. "And you have a long program to show me."
She goes back to the center of the rink. I use the remote controls to cue the music. Starting in a Tai Chi position with her arms upraised and both toes resting on toe picks, the music begins. In the end she decided to space the jumps and only add more in the end if it's needed to bump her score up.
She floats gracefully across the ice, tip toeing and twisting and then flying in a perfect camel. "She's getting better."
"Is she near where she was before?"
"Not quite. Her confidence still needs to come back. That's one of the joys of being young Sesshomaru. You never know how amazing you are until you aren't and you've hurt yourself. She'll get there."
Jakotsu picks Rin up at eight to go to work. I am left by myself on the ice. I spend an extra hour watching Kaede with her skaters, studying their moves, techniques, jumps, spins and footwork to rank them next to Rin. When my notes are taken and packed away, I text my father to come get me, or rather be my designated driver.
I feel like a teenager again. I was fifteen when I got my learners permit. Because my parents had joint custody of me, they both had to agree. Father thought I was too young and reckless whereas mother had taught me to drive when I was twelve so we could covertly get to and from practice on days when she was in a bender.
I was looking forward to owning my own car, the final nail in my secret plan to seek out emancipation.
I waited not so patiently until I was sixteen and knew that I had a substantial amount of money saved in my checking account to pay the legal fees. Mother's drinking was at an all-time high and as colleges would soon be knocking on my door, father wanted me to train less and focus more on academics. I had a C average and only did well in classes that didn't involve reading and writing. Things I didn't have time for.
Here's a fun fact when it comes to money and athletes. Yes we are paid large sums of money to compete and also spend large sums of money to maintain coaches, gym memberships, physical therapists, nutritionists and by the time we're done it's the sponsors that we need to help pay our fees. Behind that our parents are become the gate keepers to our money. But because they are raising us, a certain amount of funds is available to them, for the burden of raising an athlete of course.
But no one talks about what happens when your mother is an alcoholic. More than once I had to turn to my father's legal expertise to file injunctions to protect my money until I was eighteen or emancipated.
As soon as sixteen came, I went to the courts and asked to be free of both of them. Mother was a drunk that spent more of my money on alcohol than food and father didn't support my aspirations. The guardian ad litem in the end sided with me and I was financially free of both my parents and legally able to make my own choices. It meant I could train harder and for longer hours and I no longer had to fight my father for permission to compete abroad and go on the grand prix circuits.
What they took as betrayal became my freedom.
"The car looks good," Dad says as we get in.
"There's screws on the wheels is where you can take them off," I demonstrate. Being that he was never around, he's never had to help take the wheels off and fold the chair so it can fit inside the car. He pops the second wheel off and slides it into the rather spacious trunk and then we drive to my appointment the neurosurgeon.
"When are you taking the driver's exam?" he asks, cordially, but at least he's here, making an effort.
"In a few days I hope."
"You felt something? You really felt something?" His face swells with hope, eyes glistening, making the air between warmer.
"My toes."
"I'm so proud of you Sesshomaru," he says. The air between us electrictrifies. My father finally feels pride in me.
The morning is spent waiting in chairs. Every fifteen minutes, Rin texts me to see if I'm alright, or if I'm bored. We begin a round of guess who and guess what, while the doctor takes his time. Dad stays, trying to show some solidarity but running a company means that he's constantly by the window's on his phone and I'm reminded of being a boy so desperate for his attention waiting for him to get off.
Two hours later, my name is called. Dad waits outside the door while they do the typical weigh in, chair and all and check my vitals. When we're done, we're put into another room where we wait. I roll to the exam table, and lift myself out of the chair, grateful that my muscles have healed so quickly and it no longer twinges. "Is it hard doing that?"
"It gets easier with practice. Try it." I point at my chair. "No legs, just arms and core."
Dad sits down gingerly and nervously, attempting to maneuver to a comfortable position to lift himself. First he tries head on but then realizes if you have to slide onto a surface and that surface is 180 degrees from your ass it's not a good position to be in. He backs the wheel chair up, and tries that way, but can't his heels get caught on the seat of the chair. "Sideways," I tell him.
He reaches for the bench and lifts himself up next to me, sloppily sliding his ass onto the table. It's like I can see his mind comprehending why I do things how I do.
Dr. Hazan enters with Okinawa. They ask me to remove my shirt, socks and shoes so they can check the sensation on my stomach.
I lay down on the table, feeling bare and rather vulnerable. My phone buzzes again. It's Rin, texting me a picture of herself with her hands held in a heart. Love…it makes me wonder what we are now. More than friends, more than a coach and his skater. Making love has never felt like that, desperate, emotional, the biggest relief of tension and warmth I've ever felt.
"You felt sensation in your feet?"
"My toes, in the webbing and at the top of the balls of my feet."
They run pens along the base of my toes. I can feel it tickle, but I can't move away from it. "Have you tried moving your toes?" Dr. Okinawa asks.
"Not yet." Although I spent half the night petting them, making sure they were real and I wasn't imagining things.
"Let's see if you can. Just focus on your feet," Dr. Hazan tells me.
Dad comes closer, watching my toes. Taking a deep breath, I sit up, supporting my weight with my palms against the table. I imagine my brain is connected to them, that I can feel from my head down to my hips, my legs, my calves and my feet. In my mind, I'm moving the large toe to the side, the way it had in the reflect but each time I try, my mind speaks and my body refuses. I groan in frustration and the doctors shake their heads. "More time. How much of your stomach can you feel now?"
I lay back down while they slide the back of a pen down my stomach. "Tell me when you can no longer feel it," Dr. Hazan tells me.
It slides from my rib where I can feel it, down my stomach, to my navel where I can't feel but this time it's like a faint brush. "Barely. Now nothing." I glance down, to see where he stopped. It's the same as it was before.
"All good signs," Dr. Hazan says smiling. "I estimate in six months you'll have full sensation back and then it's up to how hard you work in therapy to get back on your feet."
I'm grinning because it worked. My father shakes their hands and thanks them for taking the time to help me. They thank him for making a large donation to the hospital, making me cast him a sidelong look. "Any other changes?" Dr. Okinawa asks.
I glance between my legs, still shocked that I was able to come. Then I shift uncomfortably, wondering if it's proper to say in front of one's father that I made love last night. Clearing my throat, I answer quietly, "I was able to," I clear it again, not wanting to say this in front of my father, but he wants to be here, to be part of what's going on. "I ejaculated."
Dad's head snaps up and turns crimson.
"When was this?" Dr. Okinawa asks.
"Last night."
"Lucky boy, who's the lovely lady?" Dr. Hazan asks. "Girlfriend?"
"Girlfriend."
"Well, she's a lucky girl and you're lucky she's with you. I'd like you to come back in two months and again please call if any more sensation returns. Thank you again Mr. Takahashi." Both doctors shake his hand warmly.
"What did you do?"
"A large donation to neuro-research. This program to help others like you."
"You know money isn't going to fix what happened between us," I remind him, sitting up and putting my clothing back on. I slide off the table and back to the chair, yawning, still exhausted.
"Where to now?"
"Inuyasha's."
"What do you do at your brother's this early?"
"Sleep."
"That's it?"
"If you didn't notice dad, it's a lot of work to propel this chair and I have to get up at five in the morning to coach my skater and then I have two hours of physical and occupational therapy and another two hours at the rink this evening—"
"And a girlfriend." Now he's smiling. "You know the best part about being a parent Sesshomaru? When you see someone love your child as much as you do."
"Wake up, Uncle Shosho!" Kieran calls me from his crib.
My eyes flutter, slowly waking up and focusing on the ceiling. We hung mobiles when he was a baby. There's one with airplanes, another with Ninja Turtles and even competition photos. I focus on my floor routine, raising my trunk off the ground with my arms and splitting my legs wide to the side. "Uncle Shosho flips!" Kieran giggles, throwing his bear in the air.
"Uncle Shosho used to flip," I mutter, rubbing my eyes. I glance at my watch, groaning. It's late in the afternoon, almost three o'clock which means I'll be late today.
Getting out of bed, I straighten my clothes and then pull Kieran out of his bed. I take him directly to his mother who is sitting at the couch drinking coffee, nose buried in a book on nursing practices. "I don't have time to change him."
"I tried waking you," she says as she takes Kieran out of my lap. "You were passed out. Rough night?"
"Not at all. Rin came over yesterday."
She whistles a cat call and smiles. "I thought you were switching to Wind?"
"So did I."
"Keep this up and you aren't going to have a place to go that doesn't have someone with a broken heart," she chuckles and starts changing my nephew.
"He's nearly three. You should train him already."
"Have fun Sesshomaru," Kagome laughs me off.
She's walking tender when she meets me at the door. It's snowing again, making my hands slip along the handle of my wheels. I had in home help the entire time I was drifting in the sea of self-pity. I convinced myself that it was best that Rin not see me at my worst.
But then the sensation didn't come at six weeks, or seven and I began to wonder if once again I wasted my time and if I would be trapped in this decrepit body that doesn't work. It was easier not to face Rin, not to face the world and bare my humiliation. I had hoped that Rin would just let me go, move on and find someone else. Hoped but there was a part of me that also hoped she would do exactly as she did and come to me.
I slide into Band of Seven and start removing my coat, hat, gloves and scarf. Rin comes walking over to me and takes my things. "Hey big guy," she says, kissing my cheek. "Did you have a good sleep?"
"Very."
"What'd the doctor say?"
"That I'm responding the way they hoped. In another six months I may be able to have full sensation back. Only time will tell."
"You've got some sensation back," she teases me. "I've got to get back to my clients. I love you."
The words bring a smile warmly to my lips. "Still sore?" I slide my hand between her legs, up the back of her scrubs making her jump to get away from me.
"Sesshomaru!"
"Put your rod in her cylinder last night?" Jakotsu chuckles as I slide out of my chair onto the floor.
"Jak!" Rin fumes. She's busy helping Danny adjust his leg braces.
I've never taken the time to notice them before. They wrap around his ankles, up his knees, hips and stomach. "Suikotsu," I call him over while I stretch my back on a bosu ball. It helps extend my spine and support my back while I build my abdominal muscles.
"Yes?" he squats down next to me.
"The braces. Should I expect that in my future?"
He purses his lips as if thinking. "Possibly. It depends on how the muscles are built. Most likely if we can get you back on your feet, it will start with waist high and then slowly lowering them until who knows, one day you may not need them."
One day…
"For now, come with me. We're going to practice reminding your legs what it's like to have weight on them."
"Oh god not the harness." I hate the harness. It wraps around my pelvis and stomach like an infant in a jumping toy allowing me to dangle.
"If you want to heal Sesshomaru it's necessary to remind your nerves what they're meant to do."
Growling, I pull myself back into my chair and follow him to the harness. "You're going to look like you're wearing a diaper," Danny giggles contemptuously.
"Hush," Rin warns him, taking his braces off to work on his leg movements on the ground. "You're going to embarrass him."
"So? Everyone makes fun of me!" Danny protests.
I stop next to Danny. "That's because they're idiots."
"No they're not. Ricky James is the smartest boy in my class."
I hate bullies. It's why I pushed my parents to let me homeschool rather than deal with non-athletes. Because I was in ballet they threw homophobic slurs at me. When I started bringing home medals, they were jealous and teased when I was cautious on the playground. If I was going to injure myself it was going to be throwing a pike of the horizontal bar not dislocating a shoulder playing football. "You know what? Do you have a phone at school?"
"I'm eight."
"Do your parents have a phone?"
"Yes."
"Good." Reaching into my shorts, I take my phone out and pull him into a hug. "You tell those idiots at school that you're friends with a three time Olympic champion."
"You went to the Olympics?"
"Three times. Then you tell them I'm giving you one of my gold medals. Tomorrow, I'll remember to bring it. Let them make fun of that."
He throws his arms around my neck, taking me off guard. I can feel his tears his on my neck. I know what it's like to stick out. I wasn't born like this, like he was but I know that feeling of self-consciousness. I too have hidden on the sidelines to avoid the eyes of the men I used to compete against. "Bullying doesn't last forever Danny, I promise."
By the time I'm strung up in the harness, Rin comes into the side room with a sheepish grin on her face. Suikotsu leaves. The door clicks behind him. She waltzes up to me and wraps her arms around my neck. "Did you just lock the door?"
"Yep."
"Isn't that against policy?" She's not so tall like this. The top of her head goes just below my nose. She slides it up, embracing my lips with her own.
"Probably. But I wanted you to experience what it felt like to stand up."
"So this does nothing for my legs?"
"Not really. I just asked Sui to hook you up so I could make out with you standing up."
"You are something else, Rin Matthews." Our lips touch again, slow and steady.
Please Review! OOO yay they're lovey!
Okay, I want to encourage more writers. I'm not reading tons of stories right now but if you want more chapters faster, if we can 100 reviews this week...not on this story...or my other stories. If 10 people go on other stories and review 10 stories, or whatever...basically go review your favorite stories and come back and tell me in a review or DM which ones you did. If combined we can get to 100 left on your other favorite authors, I'll post another chapter this week. :) Since this story is done I'm not worried about posting too fast.
Story Rec: Of course Painted Veil by Vilbern. It's a sesskag but it's gorgeous. And I love the movie too.
LeticiaOrtiz: Thank you!
Kimmigirl9: He has feeling back just in the very tops of his toes.
Vilbern: Thank you! This was one of the first scenes I thought about writing. Hopefully now these two figured their lives out.
Mechine: I think he was shocked and then blown away by feeling sensation.
Smmahamazing: I called you out LOL! And I'm glad I did! I hope you like it. I love the picture you made. Yeah these two and communication, seriously. I hope it's better now.
Guest#1: How is this one?
Jenny Crum: Finally! I know, like took these two long enough to figure it out. I'm so glad you love this story!
Angeljme: How was that? HEHE so glad you liked the last chapter.
Guest#2: Thank you!
Esther247: Now don't make me call you out again...because it's not beneath me LOL.
Lovesprita: Thank you!
Emeraldbitch: Oh honey that sounds intense. Triangles are the worst and it probably made you feel less because you weren't chosen. But just know that that doesn't define you. You are beautiful and strong all on your own and the right one is still out there somewhere.
Taino Deslan: I know! Why do they keep running! Rin needs to sit and talk but at least this way they finally talked it out.