Day 10
Alyse Balson 16, District 2 Female
My eyes slowly open, slight shock that I am still alive fills me, I didn't want want to fall asleep because I didn't trust trust Xander not to do something but he is just looking at the silver chain in his hand as I sit up
"Any cannons?" I mumble
"I would of waken you or killed you, I'm not that cruel Alyse" he says
Someone is in a mood I just look down not feeling anything, making sure he didn't stab me in my sleep
"Guess we still don't trust each other" he says
"Not at the moment but you hate Cian as much as me, I trust you to have my back and I will have yours that I will keep my promise" I say
And I'm genuine well sort of, I will help him kill Cian and if we both survive I'm running or stabbing his back haven't decided that yet, because I can't handle being away from my for any longer, I feel empty, I need comfort and Xander well he isn't the most comforting guy even if I saw his eyes soften when I told him what happen even if I didn't want to, he still didn't give me the response I hoped for
I never told anyone, even with Hendrix I lied but I had to tell Xander, he thought this emotional girl act, was act and if anything the stone hearted street boy would understand the most, I was worried Hendrix wouldn't believe me it's taboo what he did, what the orphan boys did, I didn't want to tell Campbell either because I was worried he wouldn't let a member of the male population near me that's why he is so protective plus he needs me
But what if he still hates me?
His mind is all over the place, one second his happy, one second he is sad, one second he is angry
I guess Xander understands me now, he understands why I am the way I am even if I wish I could swallow those images and just move on, even if hate what the boy has done to me, tied me up, made me be his hostage stab and punch me a few times but Cian needs to die
Then, we have to fight and I don't know if I am ready to fight him, he is a street kid like me I know how to fight street boys but he is a lot more vicious, he is a lot more stronger and I have heard him talk to himself a few times, growl to him self Xander is barely holding onto reality and I am afraid if he spills my blood, he would want more
Me well I still can't get Griffen's body from my head, the guilt, the regret, all he wanted was to avenge his friend, and I stole him away from his family and happy life, at least I will die too I can't win this, but Campbell
I don't know, I'm so stuck right now, do I try to win for myself, for my brother or let this boy win, any one but Cian
But we may not even beat him, his inhuman, he has no filter and we both hate him so much, he could play mind games on us and my mind is damaged enough, as is Xander's, the boy is barely gripping onto reality and could have a psychotic break any second and I could be the victim of that
Cian split Campbell and I up, this boy may be the reason why I never see my brother again and it hurts me to the core, he deserves nothing but pain and misery and I'm not sadistic I don't condone unnecessary violence
I don't condone people having a painful death yet I may change my mind with Cian "Back at you, allies until his Cannon" Xander says putting his hand out as I show the moron my tied hands which is tied to the hook, like he literally went to the bathroom with me yesterday he clearly doesn't trust me, he just shakes my hands anyway
"Your the genius, what do you we do" he says
"I Uh, I'm not good with fighting strategies I only know how to hide to ambush your target yet no doubt Cian would have something, a tracker especially if you got one, we might not be able to ambush him" I say
If the kid was able to make his letters look so much like they were done by the capitol then I don't think he would be completely blind, he is waiting for us, he knows we both want revenge
I know that he may not expect the both of us together how ever
"Actually?" I say
Boys like Cian they love the fight, boys like Cian love walking into other peoples business, our members use to do it all the times, a few times a peacekeeper needed to die so two boys pretended they were fighting to get him to come over, it may not work and we may just be hitting and screaming each other but it will gain his attention or my brother's, I haven't give up hope he will come but then what will he do, slaughter Xander and Cian but there is a flaw to my plan, we may not be able to ambush him straight away which means we need another idea
It does bring risk to me and am I willing to do it, if it means seeing my brother, I don't know but Cian is smart and I knows what he has in store for me, for Campbell, I can't have him being in the final three with us but do I really want it to be me and Campbell
No, no I don't because I know he will kill himself, and I can never bring a blade to my chest, the little self pride I have stops me from that "You guys would of used bait before, I mean to bait the peacekeepers" I say
"Or bait the rich so we can mug them, I think I know where you are getting at, act like we are fighting he will come over then we ambush him" he says
"Yes but it may work, it may not then we will be stuck to fight him, how ever how long do you think you can keep up with him" I say
"If I thought that I would of let Kieran kill you" he says
"I need to trust you, if we have to fight him and if it's too difficult, or if he starts playing mind games with us Plan B" I say, because I know Cian would toy with both of us
This could be dumb putting my life in the hands of Xander but I already have, he tilts his head and I lean to his ear telling him the whole plan just in case someone lets Cian know "I actually like that Idea" he winks
I sneer at him and he smirks "you think you can handle it" I say
"No but I want the bastard dead" he says
"Thanks for the confidence boost, it's risky but I know how serial killers worker, they are a serial killer for a reason, he won't kill either of us straight away gives us time" I say
"This could blow up in our face but it's better then my idea" he says
"What run in and try to kill him" I say
He nods "We have a little bit of time, he is still in the same building" he says
I just nod, I guess if we kill Cian, this is worth it because I know I would have no chance, even against Xander I am nervous, I could barely fight Griffen with a sword, and I can just hide on the roof throwing knives, my mind is still all over the place I'm jittery, the rock is crushing me and I don't know what path to take, do I fluke the fight with Cian, hoping I die
Do I stab Xander in the back straight away if we do kill Cian
Do I let Xander Kill me
I'm geniually stuck in what to do, a week ago I wouldn't think he would be like this I saw a angry boy but I didn't see a villain but his becoming one, sometimes villains aren't even evil they just aren't the good guy but are any of us the good guy or girl this year
I have done horrid stuff I have blood on my hands, Xander the same
Cian is a sadistic monster
And my brother, my brother was barely holding it to together but maybe he doesn't need me, maybe we are better off with out each other, it means I can finally think about my self and not have to worry about him because when I'm with him I don't know I have this sense that I need to look after him, and for him he didn't have to protected me deep down I need him more
Because I feel almost a shell without him, maybe we depending on each other to much
"Do you have a water bottle" Xander mumbles after drinking his as I nod and he puts his hands on my pocket taking it out as I hope he would untie my hands
"Really" I say
"Still don't exactly trust you, your plan with Cian was genius would be surprised if you have been plotting an escape" he says as I just let him pour some water down my throat as he puts it back in my pocket
To be honest he is right but I literally fell sleep the second my head hit the ground last night, and the night before I spent hours trying to get the words Campbell said to me out of my brain, I mean I did try to untie my hands but then he stabbed me in the shoulder which still hurts "One other thing buddy if you want me to help fight you, these wounds hurt and are still bleeding" I say
"Oops sort of forgot about those I did go a little over board didn't I" he says
I just nod as he puts a vile of medicine by my lips as I let the liquid fall down my throat as the wounds heal "It's fine" I mumble, I guess his willingness to do anything to live stunned me, take a hostage to start off with and I mean he isn't the most thrilling captor, he is let's say moody and angry but so am, but being with a guy who hates the world, makes you hate the world more
I don't know I guess I miss Campbell's overall need for me, he was great company even if it did mean I couldn't really focus on my self, even Griffem I miss
I flinch when I picture his skull split open on the rocks as I feel bile in my throat again but I swallow it down because if I vomit Xander will probably vomit, and if we want to kill a boy demon we can't be injured or ill
Xander stands as he takes my sword out attaching it back in my belt "Any funny games and you won't like what I do to you" he growls pinching my cheek slightly, he has shown a callous side and I guess the bullying he said he went through I understand I don't know I guess it shows how much someone would change, like if I lost Campbell a year or so okay, what would I be like?
It's a question I never wanted the answer for because it scares the absolute hell out of me, I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle it, but how do you handle loss, how do you handle trauma, my trauma caused me to be a gang girl I don't know if that's really what I wanted my life to be but now here I am a tribute 3 tributes left and I can live
But one if my brother, he puts three more throwing knives in my belt tilting his head
"A little unfair isn't it" I say
"Fine" he says he takes out a few more knives from his pocket putting it on the seat
"Now I have three knives and hammer, let's hope this doesn't fuck us up" he says
Yet his the one only giving me three knives throwing knives by the way, I just tilt my head
"Fine" he puts a proper knife in my pocket taking another for himself, Cleary he is confident our plan would work or maybe he just doesn't want to think negatively because it will hold him down, I know how it feels to try and stand up when your pushed to your lowest point
If my brother wasn't there for me, if I didn't have my brother to fight for, I would of been another one of Henry's a hundred victims, yet in these games I have fought for him, even if all I want to do is find peace I keep fighting for the small chance I may see him again
He pulls me up looking at his tracker as he cuts the ropes but grips my hand straight away "You really aren't a trusting guy aren't you" I say as he pulls me to follow him and I feel him put his tracker in my pocket
To be honest I find comfort in him grabbing my hand makes me know I'm not alone even if it's to make sure I won't run "No" he says as we walk out and he lets go of my hand when we walk into a park area
"Why do you keep looking at your pocket" Xander says
"I'm sorry" I say
"This is literally the tenth time you are looking at your pocket, what's in there" he says
"Nothing, I just ah" he just grabs me
"Keep your hands to yourself" I yell but he just opens up my pocket pulling his tracker out as my heart pulses against my chest this better work
"YOU FUCKING DOG" he yells swinging his fist at my nose as I stumble back growling at him but Xander just grabs me by the end of my top slamming my back in a tree
"You had a tracker the entire time you lied to me, we aren't looking for Cian aren't we" he says
"Back off" I sneer
"We are looking for Campbell, no actually you are looking for Campbell and you are using me as your fucking meat shield aren't you, that's why you begged me to spare you, that why I killed Kieran because I thought you would help me kill Cian but instead your leading me to your brother because you are too much of a coward to be on your own" he says
I just slam my head into his growling, I have to admit this acting is actually quite fun even if it doesn't sound as if Xander is acting but I mean he always has this angry and spiteful tone to his voice
"Maybe I am but I didn't want you to fucking kill me this is called the hunger games, not lets make a alliance yes I was going to stab your back but that's because you are nothing but a pathetic runt" I yell
He just yells tackling me to the ground "You two would make a great couple"
Xander winks at me as Cian walks out a few more flirty lights turning on "Fuck off you sick dog she is mine" Xander growls
"Now now Xander this is the hunger games we don't get what we want" Cian smirks
Xander just pulls me up, as we both grab our weapons lunging at him as he looks at little stunned but his boot flies in Xander's face and even if my sword enters his side he falls out of the way just in time
Fuck this guy must be a mind reader, he just stands up laughing taking out his sword "I have to admit did not see that coming, thought you two were arch rivals" he says how does he not find the deep gash in his waist painful what the fuck is wrong with this boy
"We are but we want you dead" Xander says
"How was Cohen death by the way did he feel pain" Cian mocks, as Xander just shout lunging for as Cian just flies towards me dodging put of the way and bringing me to ground as I just throw him off and this is why we need plan B
"Do you miss your bother yet because he certainly doesn't miss you I recon he hopes you die" Cian says to me, I growl at him swinging my sword I'm angry like Xander and Cian just shoved me him Xander as we both go sprawling to ground
"You two are pathetic" he scowls
"Plan B" Xander whispers in my ear
I just lunge at Cian who ducks my swing at his sword and I swing again but he jumps out of the way "Actually I think he wants to kill you" Cian says
I lunge at him again but he just jumps out of the way again, as he swings his sword onto mine and I purposely let go "What type of career are you" Cian laughs stepping closer as I look at him then all of a sudden I feel a force to the back of my head as I fall to the ground closing my eyes
Xander Clark 18, District 9 Male
I sigh in relief when no cannon booms as Alyse falls to the ground and Cian just laughs
"That was anti climatic, I wasn't going to kill her buddy I have special plans for her but we should just let her rest" He says just stepping over her like she means nothing to him as I hope I didn't hit her hard enough but there is no cannon so she is okay for now
"She is mine" I growl
"So you knocked her out maybe I should kill her poor kid has been through a lot her brother hates her, blah blah blah but you Xander haven't you been through a roller coaster" he says to me
"Go fuck your self" I growl
"Why should I do it to myself when there is a young girl-" when he mentions that I growl at him anger as I swing my Hammer
"Didn't know your were a double agent" I spit
"I'm not that sick, well I don't think so, what is the definition of sick anyways" he chuckles
He blocks my swing of my hammer with his sword, I just need him to even go to Alyse or be in a position to kill me, then we kill the bastard this has to to work otherwise we look like fools, but it's smart I wouldn't have thought of it and clearly she is being loyal
I know deep down she is doing it so I would let her go back to Campbell, that is if I do beat her, if we do beat this asshole I will kill her quickly that us what she wants but the scary thing is I want to draw it, scary thing is I want to torture someone and that's not normal and we can't do it with Cian
"You are better without her, you two would of been cute together" He says again as I growl swinging my hammer at him but he jumps out of the way
"Fuck have you trained or something" I growl as his sword slices my leg and he just chuckles
"Trained in killing" he says
I dodge his swing at my fist at his nose swinging my hammer at his stomach shoving him to the ground, I slightly panic when I notice Alyse isn't moving as he uses that to ram me the ground but I just throw him off
He swings his sword at my neck and I dive out of the way pulling a knife and throwing it at him but he easily dodges "Hey you want to hear the funny joke about dumb boys and knives" he says
"Don't throw a knife" he laughs
"Your a sick twisted piece of shit" I say quickly glancing at my watch sighing in relief when her health is 60% so she isn't dead
"Ouch, like you can judge you took that poor little girl over there as hostage and now look at that poor thing slowly dying just let me put her out of her misery" he says
"She is mine" I growl swinging my hammer at him
"You sound insane now, oh aren't these games wonderful" I just growl at him as he chuckles he is right I have my mind is spinning, I'm hearing banging and my whole body feels on over drive and the fact I actually want to torture someone to get my anger and pain out
Scares me
I swing towards his head and it scratches his forehead as he stumbles back slightly and he slams his sword hardly in my arm
As I just growl at him my hatred wanting me to rip this boy apart
Fuck this
I throw my hammer away throwing myself at him as he looks a little stunned but he uses his arm to grab him neck when I scream as he sinks his teeth in my neck and he screams when I poke my finger through his eye scrambling off him, alright probably physically fighting him isn't a good idea I throw a knife towards him as it lands in his arm and he growls and ignore the throbbing pain in my ear
"Cohen wouldn't have been so stupid, miss the boy I really should of killed you" he growls, I lunge at him with my fists but he grabs me by the shoulders slamming me to the ground
"Or maybe deep down you don't care, I thought his death would of killed and broken you but considering it hasn't" he says I growl again but he holds me down as in the corner of my eye I see Alyse slightly move but she stops when Cian looks over at her and I freeze thinking he saw her move
"This was fun Xander pathetic but fun" he says slamming his knife in my rib as I growl, he just kicks me in the jaw standing up we knew we had to kill him with stealth and he had no clue Alyse isn't knocked and it would be more satisfying, I grip my knife as he just keeps his boot on my stomach
"Now what should I do with you two" he says
"Why not go jump off a cliff you psychotic fuck head" I yell tying to grab my ankle but he just slams his boot on my knee, I need him to properly pin me down he still as a grip on his sword and may hear Alyse move
"You are such a charming young man aren't your Xander, I will be nice and give you third place, you did over come expectations considering you were seen as nothing but a life low runt" he says
"Leave her alone" I say
"Don't know what you have against the girl so much, what did she ever do to you, she did try to help you and if you weren't so stupid you to could go had a chance" he says
"Fuck you" I say and he just chucks slamming his boot on my chin, as he just gets off me slowly walking over to her as he kneels over her putting his hand on her neck gently, as I slowly crawl over
"You did hit her well poor girl seems lost to the world, do you think if I make her scream she will wake" he says just grabbing her chin, I slowly crawl over
"Give up Xander, maybe I will make her choke on her own teeth and leave you here with her dead body, won't baby twin love that" he says putting his entire attention on her and I stand up
Her eyes shoot open as her hand grabs his hand with the knife as she slams her knife into his stomach and I lung slamming it into his back wrapping a arm around his neck "Actually I like this better, enjoy hell Cian" I growl in his ear as I nod t Alyse
"Sly mutts" he growls trying to swings his knife but I slam it in his head as Alyse slam it in his heart
BOOM
I sigh in relief throwing his body off relief, joy filling me to know this bastard who caused me so much pain in this arena is dead, I help her help "Good job" I say as we high five and she just kicks his body to make sure his dead just in case
"Even the look on his face while dying freaks the fuck out of me" she says
"I can fix that" I say
I just walk over grabbing my hammer slamming it in his face
"I'm sorry" I barely have time to register what is happening as the knife flies towards me just as I move just in time screaming pain as the knife enters the right side of my chest just and I see her retreating figure as I scream anger
"ALYSE YOU FUCKING DOG" I growl as my body just slumps to ground as I shout pulling the knife from my chest seeing someone much blood
So this is how I'm going to die, in a pathetic way, I guess it fits me because all my life I have been alone all my knife I have been pathetic, I just rest my head on the ground the pain getting worse
As I just close my eyes ready to embrace death as I see the 5% on my watch in health status then all of a sudden something silver lands in my neck as I can barely believe my luck, I use the little strength I have to rip open the parachute seeing the clear liquid but I just drop it as the glass smashes and I scream in anger but I'm not ready to die not like this so I just lick the concrete making sure I get as much medicine in my mouth as his wound starts healing all the wounds start healing
I was on my death bed, I was practically dead but someone saved me, I see the change of clothes and a new tracker
They must really want me to win or at least not die like this, no it doesn't mean they want me to win, they want a long drawn out fight between Alyse and I and they will get one because no all that anger I have is building up towards her, I should of known yet I hate being and ever since Camden died if someone hurts me, I hurt them 'You know what you have to do, they love you already Xander but they want a villain this year-M'
We killed the villain and I don't want to be the bad guy, deep down I never did, I just wanted to be understood, to be loved, but I can't get that not here, if the twins find each other I am as good as dead, but Alyse is running away from Campbell and I'm going to find her and I'm going to kill her and if I have to do it slowly
I will do it slowly
Because deep down if I can give her a chance to see her brother again I will because I'm not like Cian. yes I struggle with human emotions, but if I had chance to see my family again I would take it even if hate them, I hate myself more because all of this is my fault, I'm the reason why I'm here, I just bring my hammer to his face again almost fascinated by how his Head smashes open as I look at the blood on my hands
Liking the feeling fuck what the hell is wrong with me, I just growl as I take my hammer and sponsor gift, Alyse does seem to be moving slowly but I know if I run blindly now she will use my anger against me, she was able to grab her sword which means she is armed, but I know how to beat her, but if I beat her
I still don't feel the confidence, still don't know if I really want to win, I want to live, but I don't know if I could handle living outside the games, knowing what I witness, the emotional pain, the mental pain, I'm barely holding on and know all I want to do is rip Alyse part make her feel pain, and I need to take it out on someone I need a fight, or I could just let her kill me
I want to die, yet I want to live it's just the other part of victory I don't want, the fame, the fortune, I mean money would be nice, so I don't have to steal, don't have to watch my back in case I get mugged no that I did everyone scared me, I wonder how nine would welcome me
It doesn't matter the second I kill Alyse, Campbell will tear me apart, and I not think I can take on Campbell straight away I have overpowered Alyse more then once, but I know deep down I have to try to win, for Camden, For Cohen even my mentor who I guess has stuck by me, I just walk to the closest building a small cafe, I need some rest I'm tired, I'm angry, I can't stop these shakes, or jumping at little noises Alyse will eventually stop running Campbell well I don't know what he is doing but his getting further and further away from his sister
This is the worse possible case, I guess I want Cian dead but deep down I thought I would die, I thought I would of died in the bloodbath but here I am with two twins that would die for each other and if I kill the other
The other would be coming from me, it's a double edge sword I fight the person who would be easier, who be easier to kill slowly or I kill the one who would react worse to their siblings death worse, or I can just hide be the coward I was born
I just get changed wash the blood from me as I try to warm my hands up, all arena have felt cold, I guess I have felt this way for years cold, like hallow with no hope I know I hate myself, I know I put myself down time after time but it's hard to find believe in this world, I hard to didn't a reason to smile and get out of bed excited for the day, death would be easier I know that I also knew that I couldn't just roll over and die
I guess I use to take the beatings because I was scared I knew I had a angry monster inside me and I never wanted to be this person but loosing Camden unlocked him, deep down I hate who I am, I know that I'm not the person I should but I had no one take make proud, I had no one in general until I made friends and they both have been stolen from me
Even Alyse was company and for some reason her betrayal hurts but she wants to survive and I did consider doing the same but honour held me back and I never thought honour would be a word to describe me, I steal, I beat people up, I don't and I'm a serial pest I have no redeeming qualities, I just clench my fists as I looking at my tracker remembering Aden had the same section on his part
But I'm scared because what if they don't think I can win, no I'm use to it I'm use to be pushed aside what if they don't want me to win that's the scary thing but I click Liklihood to win as much as I don't want to
Likelihood to win
Campbell Balson- 60%
Alyse Balson- 37%
Xander Clark- 3%
"Fuck you" I yell, but I just click the next part
Capitol popularity
Xander Clark- 45%
Alyse Balson- 45%
Campbell Balson- 10%
District popularity
Xander Clark- 49%
Alyse Balson- 47%
Campbell Balson- 4%
They want me to win, and I'm meant to be this stone hearted boy, this angry boy but maybe people can relate to me, for once in my life this fire burns inside me, and it drowns our the self hatred and doubt I have for myself
I stand up looking at my tracker, I'm going to do everything to live, and if that means loosing my humanity so be it I lost it the second Camden's cannon went two years ago
Deaths
4th: Cian Magnin, District 6 Male- Killed By Alyse Balson, District 2 Female and Killed By Xander Clark, District 9 Male