A/N- Is it polite to reply to reviews/comments? I always feel incredibly blessed when people share their thoughts, but I've honestly been away from the fanfiction scene for so long now that I've kinda lost touch with the etiquette. I enjoy showing gratitude towards folks who put the time in to say something, but I don't really know if that's the done thing, or if it comes off as obnoxious or off putting. Please feel free to tell me if I've got it backwards!
A singular News Coo swooped it's way gracefully towards the Victoria Punk's look-out, beckoned by the masked man currently holding his arm out for it to land. He offered the bird a carrot stick, slipping carefully counted beri into the leather pouch at it's front before accepting the much anticipated newspaper. With it's job complete, the gull cooed in appreciation for given treat, and took to the skies once more with home in mind.
Killer held the paper loosely by it's spine and allowed unbound contents to slip forward into open palm. Aah, there they were, updated wanted posters. It was always good to keep tabs on your rivals, and whatever the paper itself neglected to cover would often end up listed under their bounties regardless. A quick flick through the paper itself revealed the odd spat between fellow rookies and various groups of government officials, Killer suppressing a chuckle at the sight of their own ship's deck- Someone had snagged a photo on their last Autumn island during Kid's judgement of traitorous recruits, and the paper had labelled the four of them as civilian casualties. Oh well, the Captain would be happy to see any kind of increase on his poster, it helped him feel productive.
More interesting than their inconsequential misunderstanding, however, was Trafalgar Law's newest position- He'd offered up the hearts of a hundred other pirates as an 'application' to obtain the rank of Shichibukai, and the World Government had accepted. How morbid, it sounded just like him. Still no word on the Strawhats since Luffy's ringing of the Ox bell, though as Killer shuffled through the newly printed bounties it was obvious the Marines still had their hands full, with most crews seeing slight raises across the board thanks to their activities in the New World.
Seeing Kid's poster brought fondest smile to hidden lips, a raise of 20,000,000 helping cement that they were finally back on their feet. He noticed this increase for the rest of their crew including himself, acting as the base bounty for J.C. and Rocco as newly identified members, not bad at all for a first print. The final poster marked as one of their own gave him pause, noting various errors not just in labeling but in simple spelling as he stared at Beau's almost pointless poster and sighed.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! SOME KINDA JOKE?!" Kid yelled, slamming his fist on the table as his First Mate shared fresh information come end of scheduled watch.
The rest of the crew were torn between laughing and scowling, J.C. and Sunnie both near tears on the dining room floor while Heat attempted to choke down his amusement, Fletch offering Beau a pat on the head in reassurance as she frowned down at the offending paper.
"It's alright, can't expect the dogs to get it right all the time" He offered, hearing her huff in apparent displeasure through scrunched nose.
"They spelled Beau's name wrong..." She grumbled, earning herself a baffled look from Kid as he struggled to understand.
"Wha- That's the part you're mad about?! WHAT ABOUT THIS?!" He complained, repeatedly slapping thick fingers against the part that read-
'Pet, 50 Beri'
Beau simply shook her head, pointing at the misspelling of her name once more and counting out the letters.
"They didn't even use the right amount of letters, it's 'B, E, A, U', not 'B, O, W'. And only the first one is right! Beau isn't a ribbon, she's just Beau!"
"Is no one going to mention the picture itself?" Piped up Wire, causing the commotion to die down long enough for them to get a good look.
Beau's picture made her look like a deer in the headlights, green eyes staring right into the camera as a lock of her hair was pulled towards it by slim fingers, Kid's back taking up most of the background as he all but climbed across Killer who lay mask first on the counter despite obvious attempts to free himself. The backdrop itself was immediately recognizable as Whiskey Cream, and before anyone else could voice the obvious, Kid yelled-
"WHO THE FUCK TOOK THIS?!" He was furious, she'd been sitting right next to him and someone had snapped a close up, while touching her.
"Oh- There was a stranger that sat next to Beau and asked if she was with you, th-then he showed her a little snail and left" She explained, watching as Kid's face continued to twitch in a combination of shock and rage.
"Wha- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?!" He demanded.
The instant his shouting was directed at her rather than at the paper itself, Beau flinched, shoulders shaking as she looked up at him with the same kind of anxious anticipation she wore when they'd first met. This was it, she'd made a big enough mistake and now he was going to punish her for it, he wouldn't treat her like a person anymore, he'd take away all the things she'd grown to cherish.
"Y-you were a-arguing o-over the pamph-phlet" She stuttered out, realizing she'd yet to answer.
Kid had shouted in her presence often enough by now that it genuinely took him a moment to understand her sudden negative response, but the instant he managed to put two and two together, he kicked himself. It was one thing to yell around her, but another to yell at her, the quickened rise and fall of her chest and the look of genuine fear she held reminding him of what she'd said as prior Master was shamed.
["She just doesn't want to make Master Kid a-angry, he's terrifying w-when he yells..."]
Guilt allowed the rage to melt from his features, leaving uneasy scowl behind as he tentatively held a hand out towards her. Painfully aware of the handful of dirty looks thrown his way, he swallowed his pride and carefully held his palm open above her head, allowing her to decide whether or not she wanted to complete the contact. With eyes squeezed shut, she tilted her head forwards slightly before pressing up, allowing him to lace fingers through brown locks as he gave them a light ruffle.
"Hey. That's my bad," He offered, the closest he could really bring himself to an apology, "Grab some paint and we can fix the spelling, alright?"
Beau responded with a simple nod, quickly scurrying off to grab the necessary supplies as an awkward silence fell over the dining room.
"I uhh- Didn't think she was still that scared" Sunnie admitted, awkwardly adjusting his sunglasses for the sake of something to fiddle with.
"Two decades worth of damage won't just magically disappear," Killer sighed, "This isn't as bad as it seems. It's good for her to be reminded that she won't be hurt for whatever trivial thing she considers a punishable mistake, even if there's yelling involved" The last part was very obviously directed towards Kid, earning a huff in response.
"So what, I gotta shout at her more often?" He sneered sarcastically.
"Can't win a woman over with yelling though, Boss" Was Heat's input.
"I'm not trying to."
"Not trying to yell?" He poked.
"No you fucking shitbag-"
Further squabbling was cut short at Beau's return, nervously looking into the room with supplies in hand until Wire beckoned her through and began assisting with the delicate task. Everyone else returned to their own business, bounty posters in hand to do with as they pleased, Kid taking his own to stick alongside the rest above his main work bench. Eventually the corrections were complete, little woman nodding in approval of proper spelling's display before thanking her artistically inclined friend for his help.
He never minded these sorts of interactions, it was nice to sit with someone who actually paid attention to his craft, eager to try whatever advice he gave as she strived for more realistic illustrations. Initially he'd been sure she would die at sea, small and fragile and unfit for a life spent out in unforgiving waters, but her willingness to learn and to help around the ship wherever possible seemed to defy initial expectations. Truth be told, he was glad for it- Kid genuinely seemed to enjoy her attention, and he himself enjoyed her unintrusive company whenever the rest of the crew ran off to get laid.
The weather grew cooler over the following days, temperature dropping steadily until each breath was puffed out in huffs of steam. The colder weather prevented Beau from fishing despite her desire to try, limbs stiffening in minutes when exposed to the open air. The rest of the crew didn't seem to mind it much, often wandering around in the same outfits they usually favored with the addition of an extra layer or two, leaving her to wonder just how they'd become so hardened to such extreme climates. It didn't help that Kid seemed to be mad at her, keeping most contact brief if allowing any at all, and sleeping with his back to her despite the opportunity to share her warmth without Summer's interruption.
It took only three nights of literal cold shoulder for her to break. Under the impression she was no longer welcome in Kid's room at night, Beau set herself up at her desk in the infirmary, too nervous to join him in bed but too cold to avoid staying indoors. With her head resting on folded arms, she slumped against familiar work surface and simply waited for morning to come. The chill found her despite being indoors, but the thought of curling up in a spare infirmary bed caused enough dread to deter her, and so she was stuck biting back the urge to cry as her body was quickly sapped of warmth.
Beau never left the infirmary lights on once she was done for the afternoon, and it struck Wire as odd to see their faint glow shining through the door's porthole as he retired from evening's watch. A quick glance inside revealed she'd never left, simply slumped against her desk and remained there. She snapped to attention as he entered, obviously cold as her shoulders shook, and he couldn't help but sigh at the result of his Captain's idiotic behavior.
"D-did the l-light b-bother you?" She asked quietly as he eyed her for a moment.
"No, I just finished my shift in the crow's nest. It's freezing, how come you're still here?" He already knew the answer, but if she didn't want his help then he'd give her the chance to lie.
"O-oh, u-umm Beau d-doesn't think the C-Captain wants to b-be around her right n-now"
Straight to the truth, as always. He shouldn't have expected anything else.
"Come on, there's always room in the crew's quarters. It's warmer in there, but you'll have to excuse the mess... And the snoring" He offered.
Initially, Beau had been set up in the infirmary due to her unfamiliarity with the rest of the crew, and due to being the only woman on a ship full of rowdy, hot blooded men. But trust had been gained and boundaries set, so though she was hesitant, the half Mink simply confirmed that his offer was true before following Wire bellow deck.
She'd never seen the crew's quarters before, and curiosity peaked her interest as he led her inside, enough moonlight pouring in through the portholes to show the room's general composition. Several bunk beds filled most of the space, attached to both the floor and ceiling for support, while an entire wall was dedicated to various storage lockers and sets of drawers. Nightstands beside each bottom bunk held all sorts of knickknacks and garbage, spilling onto the floor and mingling with messed clothing and other miscellaneous personal items and refuse. A cacophony of snores filled the otherwise silent night, and Wire carefully approached Heat to wake him as their next watchman, blue locks sticking in every direction as he grumpily blinked sleep away.
A quick whispered conversation filled him in on why their smallest was here, though the explanation required repeating as Sunnie woke to the creaking of the bunk above him while Heat climbed his way down. Without his sunglasses on, brown eyes squinted over at Beau in the dark, and with a tired sigh the leaner man lifted heavy blankets and moved himself over, patting the space next to him in offer.
"Come on Short Stuff, it's cold as fuck out there and you're shakin' like a leaf" He whispered, innocent in his intentions despite usual promiscuous demeanor.
For a moment she hesitated, afraid that willingly entering his bed would require service as repayment, but the memory of him assisting in the execution of men who'd treated her that way helped to temper ingrained fears. Much to the surprise of those awake to witness it, Beau carefully slipped in next to Sunnie, willingly laying her head on outstretched arm and burying reddened nose against his chest. The weight of blankets soothed her from above, her friend's other arm curling around her back as he chuckled-
"Shit girl, you're freezing"
"S-sorry, Beau c-can get back up i-if it's-"
"Nonono- Hey," He interrupted, rubbing at her back in an attempt to soothe, "It's fine, Get some sleep yeah?"
She wrapped her own arm around his middle in response, clinging to crumpled shirt as if fearing he'd change his mind. Aided by toasty covers, affection and shared bodily warmth, Beau finally managed to drift off, fast asleep in the safety of a sympathetic friend's arms. For all his whining about being lonely at night and how often he would drunkenly belt out butchered love songs, Sunnie would rather cut off his own foot than take advantage of vulnerability so willingly shared. It was one thing to be cheeky with a woman who could stand up for herself, but he was painfully aware that if he made a pass at Beau- Especially under the current circumstances- She'd hardly have the courage to say no. It wasn't so much out of respect for his Captain's interest, the man was being an absolute fuckhead and continued to dig his own romantic grave so to speak, it was more out of respect for the little lady herself, the one that always tended to them gently after pointless punch ups and put up with far too many ridiculous culinary requests from drunken idiots despite Killer's insistence she didn't have to. Resolute in his decision to keep their contact innocent, Sunnie closed his own eyes and returned to blissful sleep.
Coffee. That's what he needed, just a cup of coffee before he locked himself in his workshop for the day. He didn't need to think about his lack of sleep, or the fact that Beau hadn't come to bed that night, he needed to just drown himself in caffeine and provide his brain with other distractions until he no longer felt the guilt that scrambled it's way up from his stomach and threatened to tear open his chest. Until he'd lost the urge to seek her out and smash their lips together to show her that he was sorry and that knowing part of her still feared him really did make him feel like shit. Until he could sleep in peace without selfishly craving the scent of her hair or the accidental taste of her breath as she peppered him with chaste kisses, or the feel of her limbs tangled with his own. She was a member of the crew, one that wouldn't say no to him no matter what he asked, and he couldn't just bask in the affection she offered when he knew it was at least partially fueled by fear.
Killer poured him a fresh mug of coffee the instant he entered the kitchen, not bothering to sit down with him as his Captain awkwardly attempted to initiate their usual ritual and simply returning to prior task. Strange, but he wouldn't question it- Maybe the blonde just wasn't up for his bullshit right now. He was allowed to drink most of his much needed beverage in peace before the other man finally spoke, tone aloof as if he had a bone to pick.
"Put your mug in the sink when you're done, you're on the look-out after Heat."
"What? I think the fuck not, Sunnie's supposed to-"
"He's busy." Killer interrupted.
"With what?"
"Helping Beau get some rest."
There was a pause as Kid lowered his mug, eyes on the back of his friend's head as he tried to process.
"Ha?"
"He's in bed, looking after Beau, because you're too much of an idiot to realize the kind of damage you cause by shutting yourself off like this." There it was, plain and simple.
"You wanna fuckin' run that by me again, asshole?" Was Kid's reply through grit teeth. Killer abandoned his half cleaned counter and took hold of the chair opposite his moronic friend instead, simply leaning against it with his arms rather than sitting in order to loom.
"I'll do you one better, Eustass, do you know where Wire found her last night? In the infirmary, at five o'clock in the morning, sitting behind her desk in the freezing cold because she said you didn't want to be around her. So he took her down to the crew's quarters, and Sunnie offered to share his bed with her because the sight of a tiny woman standing there shivering like a dog in the rain was fucking disgraceful. So I'd like you to tell me, why are you treating a member of your own crew so coldly that she'd find freezing to death less painful than being around you?"
All he could do was stare. No words would form, no sudden impulses would compel him to punch or kick or snarl, and so he simply stared back at Killer with a face frozen somewhere between shock and genuine hurt. The older man silently refilled Kid's half empty coffee mug and turned back to wiping down the counter, shoulders tense in evident disdain for the way his Captain had been behaving.
"Drink up. You're going to need it."
And so he did just that, knocking back the contents of his newly filled mug despite the heat that seared his mouth and throat, leaving the mug on the table despite Killer's request and stomping off to his workshop until it was time to take Sunnie's shift. He slammed the door closed behind himself with such force that it bounced back open and smacked him on the ass, like the ship herself was scolding him for recent actions. Frustrated and overwhelmed and tired, he threw a genuine bonafide tantrum, swiping things off of surfaces and pushing over furniture, tearing apart partial sketches and half finished gadgets before throwing anything with substantial weight against the walls. By the time Heat knocked on his workshop door, Kid was eerily calm, walking slowly past his crew-mate without acknowledging him as he made his way to the crow's nest, leaving the startled man to gawk wordlessly at the destruction within.
Beau and Sunnie finally made their way into the kitchen come mid afternoon, the mohawked man having to guide smaller friend by the shoulders as she sleepily toddled along. With left overs from lunch in hand, they made their way down to the dining room and sat to eat at the same table where Heat and Fletch currently lounged.
"Any luck with his royal highness?" Sunnie quipped, shoving half an egg sandwich in his mouth before loudly slurping on his drink.
"Mm, not really. He trashed his workshop" Heat admitted, looking equally as tired with this nonsense as the rest of the crew.
"O'ssit, rea'y?" came muffled reply from around Sunnie's lunch.
"I don't see him cleaning it any time soon" He lamented with a sigh, taking another sip of his own drink.
Beau simply ate in silence, collecting Sunnie's plate once they'd both finished and excusing herself to clean them. With both of their lunch dishes cleaned and put away, she hesitated for a moment, mulling over her idea with bottom lip between her teeth, before making up her mind and heading below deck to the Captain's workshop.
Heat hadn't been exaggerating- The room was an absolute mess. It looked like a whirlwind had savagely torn the room apart, but she stood firm in her decision to fix it up as best she could, beginning the arduous process of righting toppled furniture, refilling bookcases and cleaning up broken shards of various uncleaned plates and mugs that he'd never returned to the kitchen. There was nothing she could do for any of the metal he'd ripped to shreds, but at the very least she could carefully tape his ripped up plans and drawings back together. It wasn't perfect, but it was passable, and looked more like an actual workable space than ground zero for a natural disaster.
"Who the fuck is in my-" Kid stopped, frozen in the doorway as he watched Beau gently lay a stack of papers on one of his benches, all of them painstakingly flattened and pieced back together as best as one could hope for. A cursory glance around the room revealed she'd fixed it up.
"What- I don't-"
"B-Beau is sorry i-if you didn't want her to come in here!" She quickly apologized, stepping away from stacked papers as nervous fingers fiddled with the hem of her shirt.
Kid slowly walked towards her, allowing the door to swing shut behind him without his presence to prop it open. Beau chewed her bottom lip nervously at his approach, and he found himself breathing erratically as he stood before her, staring down at the tiny, nervous woman that he was at his wit's end with.
"Why'd you do this?" He asked, watching her carefully as she continued to fidget under his gaze.
"B-because Beau wanted to h-help, a-and to say sorry for making you mad"
"I'm not- Hrrrgh," He grizzled, running a hand through his hair in frustration, "I'm not mad at you, I'm pissed at myself. I can't just accept all the nice shit you do for me if you only do it because you're still scared, it ain't right"
"But- Beau does it because she wants to. She's always scared, of everything, it never goes away, but that's not why she touches you, she does it because it makes her happy and helps her feel less scared" Beau explained, confused as to why he'd think it was fear that compelled her to lavish attention.
Rough hands rubbed their way down Kid's face, he couldn't handle this. He didn't know how to cope with any of this. He wanted more than what she could actually consent to, even if what she already gave was done so willingly. He couldn't understand how it'd make her happy to give him comfort and affection, especially when he could still terrify her so badly with a single shout. He couldn't push her away because it hurt her as well, but he couldn't pull her any closer despite how badly he craved it, fearing her incapable of denying him. He hated even admitting such desires to himself, wanting to partake in the sweeter aspects of courtship that he normally found pointless and sickening.
"Captain? D-do you feel like you don't deserve to be treated nicely?"
His hands fell away from startled face, and all he could do was stare at the little woman until she continued.
"Beau feels like that sometimes- Like she's not good enough for kisses and soft touches, or not worth the time you allow her to spend with you... But you never say things like that to Beau, you always make her feel so... So welcome and deserving and it makes her think that maybe, if you really want to give her those lovely things, then she might be good enough to deserve it?" She confided, eyes trained on her fidgeting hands until finally peering back up at him, full of hesitation as if she anticipated a poor reaction to her words but spoke them regardless.
He understood what she was saying, but it baffled him. It struck him right in the heart and yet soothed it at the same time, leaving him feeling uncomfortable and exposed as she tore open his inner criticism for the world to see- But it was just the two of them, and it was a feeling they shared, the feeling of being undeserving, unworthy of what was offered to you. He wouldn't cry, he refused to, and so he swallowed the lump in his throat before carefully reaching out towards her face, holding a hand inches from her cheek as if too nervous to touch. She closed the gap for him, leaning the side of her face against open palm and welcoming the fingers that laced through loose locks.
"Yeah, something like that" He admitted quietly, leaning down to place hesitant lips to her crown with a shaky exhale.
"Is it ok if Beau gives you kisses, too?" She asked. He blinked. She was asking him for consent.
As if to answer her question wordlessly, he bent forward to place several smaller kisses along her forehead and nose, though she didn't return the action until he finally responded with-
"Yeah, of course you can"
Permission granted, she gently sprung up towards his chest, trusting strong arms to hold her in place as she almost greedily peppered his face with chaste little kisses, gingerly rubbing her cheek against his once satisfied. He simply held her against himself, eyes closed as he finally spoke the two words he'd struggled so hard to say this whole time.
"I'm sorry"
Beau simply responded with a kiss to the tip of his nose, silent forgiveness as she made herself comfortable in his arms. He knew he owed his crew thanks for watching out for her while he struggled to sort his own shit out, but that could wait- For now he just wanted to be selfish, sitting down in his work chair and finally allowing himself to enjoy Beau's affections without the nagging guilt that she only did it to please him.