Second Person, Thirty-One
You're trembling with anticipation as you walk towards Meredith Grey's room. You know that she broke up with Derek Shepherd. You know that she's single now. You know that she's falling for someone she loves as a friend, who is female. And you know from Mark Sloan's wink that it just might be you…
You leave your office, the very office where you nursed Meredith while she was sick, and you made her soup and gave her Gatorade, where you administered a banana bag IV or two into her arm, where you curled up on the couch when she was in the most pain.
You turn the corner. You're still on the first floor. You don't see Mark or Derek in either of their offices. No one bothers you, because you're not working after all, and you've already given all of your friends the updates.
This walk is only for you.
You walk up the stairwell instead of taking the elevator. You take this path because you remember this is the first place Meredith laid her head on your shoulder.
%%%
You pass the washroom where you and Meredith almost shared a kiss, maybe? Before you were interrupted.
You walk down the paths that you and Meredith often took to leave Seattle Grace when you'd both had enough for the moment. You walk by and remember how you always walked quickly to escape the hospital grounds, but you always walked slowly as you returned back to work.
You pass the gift shop where you've bought chocolate together countless times. You stop by and you buy two ice cream sandwiches with fudge pieces in them. You've never tried them before and you know they were the next thing Meredith wanted to have after her stomach finally settled.
You approach Meredith's room. You know the location by heart, as well as the room number, as well as the familiarity it offers; you've been here for hours, earlier today, after all.
The door is shut and you peer in the tiny, tiny, tiny window square that you need to reach up on tiptoes to reach, even in your high heels.
You see that Meredith is in fact alone, and awake, and also smiling.
You open the door slowly.
You walk in and pause at the doorway.
"Hey," you say. And Meredith Grey looks up at you and says a simple"hey," to you back.
%%%
"Are you feeling up for a bit of company?" You offer in case she wants to spend another minute alone.
"Of course, Addie," Meredith smiles widely, using your nickname, and gesturing for you to come in.
You want to ask her, point-blank, 'is it me, Meredith, is it me you are falling for? Is it me that you want to try to have a relationship with…?', but you don't.
Instead, you walk in and you hold up the ice-cream sandwiches for Meredith, and she grins up at you, and she says "that's so sweet of you to remember!".
"Of course, Mer," you use her nickname too, as you head into the room and hand her the chocolate dessert.
"Are you going to stay for a while?" She asks you, and you realize from her tone that she wants your company for a while.
"Yeah, I think so," you say shyly, not knowing exactly what to say.
You feel like you're in middle school and you're crushing on the most popular girl (yeah, that happened to you. You didn't know you were gay then, but you realized this later…)
(It also happened to you in high school, but you try to forget that, sometimes…)
"Please?" Meredith asks you.
You realize from her smile that she really does want you to stay longer.
So you do.
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"Are you gonna come to sit with me? Meredith is motioning for you to join you on the bed.
You know you were cuddling the whole day, but now it feels different because she's not dating your own ex-husband.
And you're flustered again, just like that, as she grins up at you and then furrows her brow at your hesitation.
"Relax, Addison, I'm not going to jump you the minute you sit down next to me just because I just dumped my boyfriend who was also your ex-husband once, even though I do admit the thought did cross my mind once or twice as I left him, you are the very definition of sexy, after all..." Meredith grins up at you.
You realize she must have sobered up at least a little, because her sentences are longer and she's not slurring her words near as much.
"Okay," you say, still a bit tentative because she did lace her promises with a bit of flirtation.
"Oh, come on, Addie. I pinky swear I won't be inappropriate on you if you come and snuggle. I just want you to come to help me be warm," Meredith pats the spot next to you that she's made in the bed.
"Okay, just because I believe heated blankets are hazardous as an alternative," you say as you move to sit down next to her.
You sit down, and she cuddles into you right away.
"Are you going to get cold if we eat frozen ice cream Mer?" you ask, realizing you called her 'Mer' and that she still likes it because she smiled as you said it to her.
"Not with you here, of course, Addie, you always keep me from being too cold..."
%%%
The ice creams are good. (REALLY GOOD!)
You decide together that these two are sure to be a favorite.
You usually always try some new kind of chocolate every time you go out (for chocolate!), but sometimes you go back on your favorites if you're really craving them.
This one is bound to be one you'll buy over again.
"It even has fudge pieces!" Meredith exclaims as she tastes the sweet ice cream with all the little brownie in it.
"Sure does," you eat your own, and you can't help but moan at the taste.
You think you see something flicker in Meredith's eyes after this happens, but you're not sure, either. And you don't ask about it.
"Do you still have the night off?" Meredith asks you and you say yes.
"I think this is the only time I'm gonna say 'thank god the Chief banged my mother', because now he feels all guilty and he brings flowers and he even brings me you." Meredith chirps happily.
You notice she's much less in pain than before, because her spirits are up and she's happily eating without taking tiny bites of the food.
You focus a little on the emphasis that Meredith put on the 'you' of that last sentence.
You wrap all of those sweet nothings that Meredith may or may not be saying to you as 'flirtations' and you imagine as if Meredith was wrapping them all up with a little bow, just for you, as a present.
%%%
You don't ask about her breakup while you're still eating ice cream.
She doesn't ask how Derek took it while she's still eating ice cream.
You don't talk about serious stuff while you're having your chocolate.
You both still follow the traditions of 'going to get chocolate together' even though Meredith can't leave the room.
It's still the same pattern, the same soothing routine, and the same important friendship.
And you still love it just as much as you always did.
Only now you can't stop but stare more at how the creamy treat is gracing her lips, and how she lets out little sighs when she finds a brownie piece.
You're staring at her. She catches you staring a few times. You blush and look away.
You see her stealing a few glances, too. Or at least you think that you do.
She stares for a second longer than you do, and then Meredith blushes profusely.
You really, really, really, like it.
%%%
You know you have to talk though, and Meredith seems to know this as well, so you're savoring every last possible piece of the ice cream sandwiches.
You're licking the last few licks of ice cream off your lips as Meredith sucks the chocolate off the edges of the wrapper.
You offer her yours, because she seems to like that so much and she makes a show of licking her tongue out onto the plastic and dragging it slowly over every part of it before sucking it into her mouth and moaning.
You swear that it got a thousand degrees warmer in here, even with all the ice cream.
You also feel a familiar warmth in your core in particular, and you try to fight it but it's getting even more difficult to do so.
Meredith smirks a bit at your blushing, and she jokes that you look like you're getting a fever as she places her hand on your forehead.
You say you're warm, and she just laughs and says 'actually, I think you're hot', with a smirk.
And then you're sure you're starting to feel feverish for real, because Meredith Grey's innuendos are driving you absolutely insane.
%%%
"Are you ready to talk about it?" You offer, in the same tone that you've offered in every way before when you know the chocolate part is over and you have to talk seriously, now.
"Are you?" Meredith offers back, and you take a deep breath before you answer her "yeah,".
You know this is the moment where Meredith is going to either tell you you're her 'one' that she's left Derek for, or she's going to try to let you down easy.
You know she's going to tell you, either way, you are one of her very, very, very, best friends, after all…
And you know she still wants to be that, and that she still wants to do the 'chocolate' thing.
You blurt out "you know that as your friend, that I still love you, and that as your friend, I still will love you like that all the same, no matter what you or I are about to say, right?" You offer.
You know it's a bit manipulative of you, perhaps, to make such declarations when you know everything might be about to change you.
But Meredith doesn't seem to take it that way, she reaches out for your hand and shows you her/your ring and brushes over it, as if to ease all your insecurities.
"As your friend, I still love you, and I still will love you, like that, no matter what you or I am about to say, right back at you," she promises, and you realize that Meredith is clenching your hand a bit, as if she's just as terrified about losing you as you are of losing her.
"We'll be okay, Meredith, we'll be okay," you offer her.
"We'll be okay, Addison, we'll be okay," she offers you back.
You can't help but pull her into a hug as she starts to tear up a bit.
She tries to start talking a few times, with a few false starts, as Meredith sobs a bit into your shoulder until you offer her water, and she drinks it, and she finally looks up at you again.
%%%
You see Meredith looks up at you with her big baby blue eyes.
"Do you want me to talk first, or do you want to?" You ask her.
"Can you tell me how Derek took it?" She asks you, and you take a breath as you start to give her your answer.
"He said he was cool about the LGBT thing, which was a relief. He has no problems with you being bi, he said that he was just crushed about the breakup," you offer.
"Was he with Mark when he said this?" She asks you.
"Yeah, Derek was with Mark, Mark was good to him," you offer, and Meredith looks glad.
"It's good, I think. Mark is good for him. I don't want him to be all alone when he's sad," Meredith offers, and you mirror back that you're equally relieved and happy for Mark and Derek.
%%%
"Did he say why I broke up with him?" Meredith finally asks you.
"Yeah, he did," you say, and Meredith nods at you.
"He told you, didn't he," Meredith asks you.
"Mostly," you say noncommittally to Meredith.
"Mostly?" She asks you.
"I'd rather hear that part from you, as you want to say it, rather than him secondhand," you offer her.
You want Meredith to be able to say what she wants without her having to explain why she said certain things, or explain if Derek got it all wrong when he said it.
"Okay," Meredith says to you.
"Okay," you say back to her with a bit of a nervous smile.
%%%
"So here's the thing," Meredith begins, and you can see her posture starting to tense as she begins.
You don't stop her this time; you know she needs to talk and you're pretty sure it's not the drugs talking by now.
"I left Derek because I started to have feelings for someone else," Meredith begins.
You nod, and you ask her if this is why she was telling you she was 'picking between two people'.
"Yeah, that's why. That's why I asked you about Derek, but I promise what you said didn't make up my mind for me, I actually just wanted to know why you picked him," Meredith clarifies to you.
You're relieved that she didn't decide because of anything you hadn't meant to say in that capacity.
%%%
Meredith continues to speak with you now, on this train of thought, as you listen intently, hanging onto every single word.
"So I left my boyfriend because I started falling for someone. I started falling for my friend. Not Cristina, of course. But another one of my very best friends…" Meredith keeps going.
You're glad that it's not Cristina, because that would be a bit strange… (And it also wouldn't be you…)
"And I was getting really close to this person," Meredith continues.
"I was getting so close and they were always around comforting me, and I shared all my problems with them, and I couldn't do that with Derek. He just couldn't relate in the same way and empathize…" Meredith sighs loudly.
You've never heard this part. Maybe Derek has never heard this part, you realize. It's possible that Meredith didn't explain to Derek how she could relate to a friend about her problems more than with him.
"And then, I realized I wanted to hang out with this friend more than with Derek. I'd rather spend time with them and with him, and I would always think of them when I was really happy or scared or needed someone to talk to. And I knew this was becoming a problem…" Meredith continues.
You put an arm around her to comfort her, because you know this is really hard for her to say.
%%%
"And then I realized I was on the verge of having an emotional affair against him," Meredith explains.
"It's not the same as how I'm close with Cristina, or the other interns, or even sort of friends with Callie and Mark. I was close with this person like I wanted them to know everything about me, and I didn't trust Derek with everything about me anymore, and I knew that I was never going to get that back with him," Meredith tucks herself into you more.
"Are you good to keep talking?" You ask her, letting her know she can take a break or stop if she needs to.
"That's okay, thanks for asking. You always ask me what I need, Addison," Meredith says to you.
"As do you," you smile at Meredith, and she offers you a smile in return.
"See, if this person needed me I would tell him I'd meet him later, no matter what. I was already sort of picking them and choosing them over my boyfriend. And I know people do that for their best friends, but it was every single time, and I knew I wasn't doing right by him," Meredith regrets a little.
"I'm sorry you felt that way," you offer, and she says she's not perfect by any means but she's trying to make better choices.
You nod and you say you understand the concept and you find it admirable.\, as Meredith keeps explaining.
%%%
"And then, I almost cheated on Derek with this person," Meredith keeps moving on with her explanation.
You start to grow hot again, because you knew this part from Derek said, but now that Meredith is confirming it… You want it to be you because you'd hate any other person who fits that description…
You know, somehow, instinctively that you're about to find out, for real, this time.
Now is the start of something that will change your life either way.
You pray to God that Meredith will be in your life still, as you both promised each other, no matter what…
"By that, I almost really cheated on Derek, in a physical way, in a kissing way," Meredith stammers a bit because she's starting to sob.
And then she cries more and then she holds onto you and you hold her back.
%%%
And then Meredith Grey looks you right in the eye for this next part.
She looks up to you with her big baby blues.
Meredith Grey never stops looking at you.
%%%
"It's a woman, by the way. The person is a girl that I'm falling for," Meredith clarifies, and you swallow hard and take a big gulp of air.
You nod at her to continue, as you clench your fists a bit into a ball behind your back in nervous anticipation.
"I almost kissed her in a bathroom. And then we didn't because we talked about it and we both didn't want to. And then we still hung out all the time, and then I was going to end it with Derek but I wasn't sure and I was always so sick and I didn't know why," Meredith sobs even harder.
"You didn't almost kiss me because you were feeling pain, right?" You blurt out, and you realize that this may or may not be related to the conversation but Meredith answers you anyway.
"No, that part was only for you," Meredith offers, "The not kissing you part was also only for you, if that makes sense at all," Meredith says to you.
"Yeah, I do understand. It makes sense to me," you say, and Meredith nods at you, and you nod at her to continue.
%%%
"You know, I left Derek for one of my very, very, very, best friends, who I was falling for, who I'm still falling for, every second of every hour of every day," Meredith says and you completely empathize with the sentiment.
You nod as she says the next part really quickly, and you have to lean in, to listen.
"I'm falling for her right now, and with every piece of chocolate we share together, I know I'm just going to start falling in love with her, for real, and I'm terrified that if she doesn't feel the same way that being 'just friends' might not be enough for me, anymore, because I'll always want more!" Meredith finally blurts out. And then she yelps and starts bawling right into your arms.
"Hey, hey, hey, it's going to be okay, Mer," you coo as she keeps bawling harder.
"As I already said, as your friend, I already loved you, and I love you that way, and I still will always love you like that…" Meredith begins as Addison says these words back to her, too.
"As I already said, as your friend, I already loved you, and I love you that way, and I still will always love you like that…"
"But here's the thing, Addison…" Meredith clears her throat as she looks at you.
You feel as though she's staring right into your soul.
%%%
"Before, I would run away from the hospital to escape all my problems. But then I realized I wasn't running away from the world after a certain point…" Meredith begins agains.
You nod because you understand and relate to the feeling.
"I was running towards something, someone, my very, very, very, close friend. I was running towards you, because I loved you, as my friend, but I started loving you as more than that, and there was nothing I could ever do to stop it, and I never wanted to, I just wanted to love you, and this time in the 'everything' way" Meredith finally concludes.
"Oh, Meredith," you say as you pull her close in your arms, and you try to say you're falling for her, back, that way, but she just keeps on going again.
"I think I'm falling in love with you, I was already falling in love with you while I was with Derek, and I couldn't do that to him. So I left him and now I'm alone, or, single, rather, and I am falling for you- Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery, or who I like to call Addie, it's only you, it's only you, it's really YOU" Meredith explains with a shout.
You nod vigorously, and you begin to smile widely now, wider than ever before, because you realize there's no doubt or ambiguity about who Meredith is falling for.
"It was you all along, since you got here, since I stopped hating you, since we started hanging out and talking and running away to escape together…:
You finally let it start to sink in that it's really YOU! Meredith really wants YOU! She's falling for YOU!
%%%
"I know I want to be your friend either way, Addie, I really do. I want to support you and be there for you no matter who you see or who you're with, but I said all these words and speeches and things today to you…" Meredith goes on again before you can get a word in edgewise.
"And I want to say that I'll be there if you date some other girl, but I think the jealousy might kill me, but even so I'll be there, but not without a fight. So if you're stil picking between me and somebody or a million somebody else's, then I'm throwing my hat in the ring for you, and you can take it or leave it, but I'm there all the way," Meredith says.
You start to say something but Meredith cuts you off with a question.
"I'm asking if you want to try to be more than friends with me. We can still be friends, very, very, very, close friends. But we can also do more, if you want, like go on dates, and I can get to kiss you, and I can hold you and snuggle you and cuddle you as much as you want!" Meredith almost shouts.
You start to nod but she keeps ranting on and on.
%%%
"We can go for chocolate anytime, we can go on mini road-trips, we can hang out at my house or wherever you live, we can still keep all our other friends and just be all friends together, and we don't have to talk about out same ex-Derek at all if we don't wanna…" Meredith offers.
You keep nodding and Meredith just keeps on talking.
"And if you want you can maybe meet my mom, Ellis Grey, sometimes, though you might already have, I don't know, but you can, if you want to, sometimes it's hard for me to be there alone. And I don't really have a dad he left when I was five but his name is Thatcher Grey if you ever do meet him, I don't know why that you would… And you already know Richard Webber, and he's my I-don't-know-what-sort-of-daddy… Well, you know. But he likes you, and so that's not an issue…" Meredith keeps rambling now.
"And we can go as slow as you want, or fast, or I don't know what you like but-" Meredith rants but at this point, you slow her down and ask her to take a break, and you press a hand to her lips to say "shhh,".
"I have more stuff to say, Addie" Meredith pouts a bit, you think it's very adorable.
"Yeah, and I wanna hear the stuff you have to say, Mer, but I got stuff to say, too, to you," you say tenderly.
"Oh, right. I'm doing the 'vapid narcissist thing again', Meredith says sheepishly.
"I think you're talking a whole lot about me, then to call yourself a 'vapid narcissist', at all," you giggle a bit, and she giggles back with you.
%%%
"I just want to say, before you say more, that I'm willing to try to be 'more', with you, and not just because you're here and you're asking me, and that you're a girl and I'm a girl. I really do want to try with you, in particular, the 'dating a woman', thing," you finally say to Meredith.
The glow on her face as you say this could outshine every single damn city in the whole entire world.
"Really?" Meredith asks you.
"Really!" You say enthusiastically.
"Is it just because I offered to kiss you?" Meredith sort of deadpans.
"Not at all, that was just you being a really wonderful friend. There are hundreds of millions of reasons why I want to date you, in specific, Meredith Grey," you say to her.
"Do I get to hear all of the reasons?" Meredith asks you with a really big teasing smile.
"Yeah, I'll tell you at least a lot of the reasons, I might forget some of them because I'm too busy hanging out with you telling you them," you say to Meredith.
"Do I get a few, now? Because I just went all 'pick me, choose me, love me,' speech on you, so I think I could maybe use a few compliments from the McHot leggy and fabulous redhead that you are, Addison," Meredith asks you sweetly.
"Okay, here we go!" You start to begin.
%%%
"When I met you in the lobby of Seattle Grace Hospital, I was looking between you and my husband at the time, but all I could stare at was you," you start to say.
You realize this is coming out easier than you might have expected.
It's still just like sharing anything with Meredith, with your very, very, very, close friend, all along.
"And I thought I should hate you, but I couldn't bring myself to…" You finally answer, and Meredith nods at you in understanding.
"And then when we both laughed when Derek stubbed his toe, I just wanted to see the way your eyes crinkled again," you remind her, and she does the eye-crinkling smile all over again.
"And then when you leaned on me when your dog died, I just was so sad for you, and I was so happy you were even talking to me, and that you were touching me, even just like that, and you stopped me from falling in the stairwell…" You say.
"That was just luck, I could have easily missed and you could have fallen," Meredith jokes and you laugh with her.
She's stopped crying now, you notice. Once you said you have feelings for her, back, for real she stopped crying.
You're glad you can do that for her.
%%%
"And then I was so jealous when I saw you with Derek, even though I had no right to be, I was, but I tried not to be, and I wanted you to be happy, even with Derek," you say.
"That's really big of you," Meredith says at that. "Thanks, Meredith," you reply right back.
"And then you started sharing your whole depth with me, emotionally, and I started opening up to you like I never really opened up to anyone. And you 'got' me, and I seemed to 'get' you. And you were the most consistent person in my whole life and I lived for those moments with you," you explain.
"Me too," Meredith says back. "Me too," you reciprocate again, and then you laugh because you said that part twice.
"And I just wanted to spend as much time as I could with you, but I didn't want to hurt you, so even though I wanted to kiss you, I didn't let you becuse I didn't want it not to be real, and I didn't want it to be an affair against Derek," you finally squeak out.
"Yeah, you deserve better than that, with me, you deserve all of me, if we're going to try," Meredith finally says to you.
"And you deserve better than being a person you don't want to be, and that I don't want to be, anymore," you finally say to her, as Meredith agrees.
"You know, I just watch you sleep, and cuddle with you, and it's so beautiful.." You finally say.
"Wow, we're practically writing a whole novel right now, I just hope I remember it all and never forget it," Meredith says to you as you pull her tight to your chest, and she can hear your heart beating, and you can also hear hers.
%%%
"You know, I have an idea, I have something to show you," you say.
You page Mark Sloan to come to Meredith's room.
You do this because you don't want to leave Meredith now, not even for a second, to go get something.
He shows up, you whisper into his ear what you want. He smiles at you.
You wink back at Mark to let him know he was right all along, about who Meredith wants to try with, now…
When Mark Sloan comes back with your diary and scrapbook and pink pen from Meredith Grey, you thank him, and he wishes good luck to both of you.
And you say "take care of Derek, for us, please, and just, just don't hurt him, again," and he promises that he will take care of Derek, as his own person and very, very, very, best friend.
And he waves goodbye for now, and you wave back at him.
You're alone now, just the two of you, and your diary.
And you open it up to show Meredith all the ways you remember all the times you spent falling in love with her.
You start with entry number one...
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You're 'in love' again. Meredith Grey is the second person you've ever truly fallen in love with. And you're sure you're the second to last person Mer would ever fall in love with, back. The other one being your own ex-dirty mister, Mark Sloan, of course. Because that would just be way too cliché to be healthy. But it doesn't matter. Because she's still with your ex-husband, Derek Shepherd, anyway. (You realize, at 39, you're maybe, probably, definitely, way too old for all this...). But you just can't seem to ever stop...
-Addison Montgomery
%%%
You pore through the pages together.
Sometimes you read them to Meredith, and sometimes she reads them trying to say your voice, and sometimes you read quietly together, while thumbing over the receipts and the business cards with your thumbs.
Sometimes you cry a little at the sad parts, or she does.
She tells you that the sex at prom with Derek wasn't as good as it probably sounded like it was.
Then she tells you to "never tell that to Derk, or Mark, or anyone, ever," and you swear that you won't.
She finally understands about your relationship with Mark Sloan once she reads the part about you having sex with him, thinking of her, and also the whole 'lesbian dirty talk' thing.
You tried to take the book out of her hands before she saw that part, but she just ended up reading it anyway, and saying that she'd like to see you get all 'hot and bothered' like that.
Meredith reads everything, even the parts you wrote the past few times on an old notepad and the ones jotted down on old medical charts.
Meredith finally confesses about the time she was talking to Mark about 'adultery' was because she was asking what having an affair with you was like, and you blush because you never thought about it that way, before…
%%%
You're very tired once you get to the end of it all.
You get through it mostly in one sitting, and you're exhilarated but still overwhelmed.
You don't know what to say, now, so you wait for Meredith to say something.
And all she says is "how about we just be us for a while, and we just agree not to date other people, for now. And we can hang out and figure out all the rest about dating, later?"
And you think it's the perfect solution, because you're not sure how to do this, and she's done this before, and now you feel like you're drowning, but in a good way, like drowning in happiness, in that sort of way.
And Meredith asks you if you can cuddle her to sleep again.
And you say that you will. You bring Meredith's back to your front so that you're the big spoon.
%%%
You say to her "thank you, for loving me, the way that you do," and she says it right back to you, as she holds your hand and tucks you under the covers.
You stay like that until morning.
And just as you start to wake up, you think you can hear her singing a song, just for you.
Your eyes haven't opened, and you haven't moved yet.
But you're just barely conscious when you start to feel a soft kiss being pressed into your hand.
You know that it's Meredith, it still feels and smells, and just is, exactly like her.
And you can start to hear her say to you, barely over a whisper, as if she's almost sure that you're still asleep…
%%%
"Along with Cristina, you're my best friend, Addie. I never want that to change. And I want more with you, too. I don't think you're too old at 39 to be falling in love. I just hope that you don't think that at 26 that I'm way too young for you. I thought I was the second-to-last person you'd ever fall in love with, I actually thought you might end up settling with Mark Sloan. I'm 'in love' again. You, Addison Montgomery are the second person I've ever truly fallen in love with…. And I just can't seem to ever stop…"
- Meredith Grey, as she writes this as a note to you, in your own diary, as you wake up to find it the next morning before breakfast.
%%%
You're waiting for Meredith to wake up for you now.
Bailey has brought by eggs and toast, and you're cuddling Meredith to your chest because you've rolled over and she's got her head on your heartbeat again and you really like it.
You realize you have not told her the part about the 'suturing a heart' yet, but you decide you'll say this to her later today, or sometime.
You've got all the time in the world to get chocolate, together, now, after all.
Bailey smiles up at you and gives you a wink.
You smile back at her. She looks incredibly smug as if she's read through you both all along.
You go with it, she's Miranda Bailey, after all, and she's on both of your sides.
You reach for your diary, and Meredith's gift to you, the salmon-colored pen.
You write down everything that happened since the moment you walked out of your office to find her.
%%%
You have so many milestones ahead of you, you know.
You still have to come out to most everyone else.
You still have to actually date Meredith and hopefully not screw it up.
You have to figure out how to work together, and how to work with everyone else.
You still have to kiss a girl for the very first time, and of course, you really think that it's finally going to actually be, your now-hopefully-lover, Meredith Grey.
And you still have to experience all the joys of being in a relationship and beyond with her.
You have the whole rest of eternity to figure that out, now, you hope.
'Oh, the places you'll go…' You look at that book on the shelf and you see why Meredith likes it so much. 'Oh, the places WE could go, Meredith and I, with our chocolate, of course', you imagine…
You plan your next road trips with Meredith as you look through a map of Seattle and make some stars and x's that you hope to chat about with her soon.
You write fast now, because she might be starting to snore less loudly, so you think that she might be waking up.
Waking up, in your arms, for the very first time, as you're very, very, very, close friend… And also, already, so very much more.
-Addison Montgomery
In her personal diary. With a drawing of a heart at the end of it. That has "A.M hearts M.G" in the middle of the heart on the page. It represents the heart she was holding in that surgery she was suturing up, and how she was suturing your heart into one piece, from when it was shattered in two.
***** END OF CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Author's Note:
Whew! So MerAdd is going to have a shot at it!
Yes, we have finally arrived at the most major milestone so far.
At the beginning I wasn't sure if I was going to have the love be reciprocated.
But I have a sucker for happy endings, and after all the angst, I like fluff :D :D :D :D :D
There could be, more story, more to come maybe? probably shorter Chapters?
Let me know what you think in the comments, please!
(Was this too fast? 31 Chapters for a slow-burn?)
(Or are you happy with it? No idea! LOL...
Have a good one and take care!
bobbiejelly.
And of course, onto the dedications:
Ao3:
LordOfLezzies you are the MVP for commenting on EVERY CHAPTER! Thanks to Arahneia for the lovely words and Also, of course, thanks to AddisonAddek and LordOfLezzies, all on Ao3
AddisonAddek for wanting more and commenting (a heck-ton) today, plus LordOfLezzies (also, because you're super) and Hotgitay who commented on Chapter 1.
ChrissyBrown1127 for the bookmark!Zele, ChrissyBrown1127, Arahneia, AddisonAddek, Dragoncatcher123, LordofLezzies, and Hotgitay as well as 1 guest left kudos on this work! 2 subscriptions. 2 Bookmarks. 10 Kudos. 112 Comments. 220 Hits so far!
Fanfiction:
smountain for the lovely review. 933 views.
Wattpad:
Some people, like addiesrep and new_being, mostly for now... Read this all in one go and left me a note on almost every chapter and that makes me overjoyed!
Comments and suggestions from Eleven_256, and naylorholby always make my day.
Thanks for the most WONDERFUL shout-out comment from JordynMarie05.
myfairlilymunster for the comments on Chapter 1. Hoeshiii_ is working their way through this!
danielaperezsurga, new_being, JordynMarie05, Unicornbaby78, myfairlilymunster, outlawqueenpercabeth, naylorholby, AddisonAddek, and probably some others who don't show up on my phone, voted on this, thanks. 565 Reads. 89 comments. 209 Stars.
Also THANKS to everyone else who reads this someday, and to a friend in 'real-life' who beta'ed this for me. Much love.
Ps. Three new MerAdd fics are up, recently:
Delicious A Better Speech - A Better Lover Meredith gets her Mojo Back - And so does Addison!... And there will eventually, soon be new Chapters of these ones up:
Falling Apart, Barely Breathing Soothe A Seattle Grace Mercy West Swingers Party - Post Plane Crash Edition Out Of The DarkFeel free to check them out, hopefully after you leave a note, and have a great day!
bobbiejelly