Your Fault!
Jake and Amy sat on the bench at the playground with their one-year old Harry, while Mac played on the slides. They hadn't really had a lot of time to themselves as a family but they had made the time for this Saturday.
'This is relaxing,' said Jake as he fed their son some berries.
'It is,' reaffirmed Amy with a smile. Just then, Mac walked up to them with tears in his eyes. 'Oh, my God! Baby, what's the matter?' Amy asked as she carried the four-year old and sat him down on his lap.
'I got hurt,' sobbed the boy.
'How'd it happen?'
'On the slide. The man pushed me.'
'What?' Jake asked, looking up from their one-year old. 'Man? A MAN?' he asked and the boy nodded. 'Alright,' he said as he got up, gave Amy the Tupperware of berries, and carried his four-year old.
'Where are you going?' asked Amy.
'To teach this MAN a lesson!'
Mac pointed at a guy. He was at the hot dog stand. As Jake walked up to the man, he could hear him place his order, 'Look, all I want is a churro in a hot dog bun, with ketchup, mustard and chocolate sauce. What is there not to understand?' Jake recognized that voice.
'Okay, Mac, I'm gonna go talk to that man, you can go play or you can go to Mommy, okay?' Jake asked. Mac nodded and put Mac down. 'Pimento?' Jake asked as he walked up to man. As soon as he touched him, Pimento grabbed a fork and turned around.
'Hey! Get back in line or I will stab you with this fork!'
'Hey, sorry! It's me, Jake!'
'Oh,' said Pimento as he finally saw who he was threatening. 'Jakey! How've you been man?' he asked as he hugged Jake.
'Umm… fine,' replied Jake.
'Hey, just let me talk to this idiot before he completely botches my order and then we can catch up,' Pimento said as he turned to the stand
'Actually, no, I need to talk to you right now.'
Pimento turned around slowly. He was creeping Jake out but he always did so this wasn't new. 'Well, well, well,' he said, 'what do we have here? I'm the one who comes up to you for help. But now you need my help. Something's messed up.' The two stood in silence for some time. 'Well,' said Pimento, 'spill the beans, man! Come on, tell me what's messed up with you!' Pimento was finding this situation interesting.
'Look, there's nothing wrong with me,' Jake said as he sighed. 'Look, my kid says you pushed him on the slide and you hurt him. I want you to apologize to him,' Jake demanded.
'What? That doesn't make sense! First of all, you have a CHILD? Since when? Secondly, why did you not tell me? Thirdly, I didn't push any kid on the slide. Fourthly, you better answer all these question in order.'
Jake sighed before speaking, 'Okay, Mac's four and Harry's one, I haven't really been exactly free to track you down and call you, and Mac says it was you so one of you is lying.' Pimento sighed. 'Look,' continued Jake, 'can you just come with me? We'll ask him one more time if you were the man that pushed him or not.'
As they walked to the bench, the saw Amy, Mac, and Harry playing. 'Oh, that's cute,' commented Pimento.
'Adrian? Wow, I haven't seen you in so long,' Amy commented.
'Hey, Amy,' replied Pimento.
'Okay,' Jake interjected, 'we can catch up later. Mac, is this the man who pushed you?'
The boy looked up and nodded. 'Yes! He pushed me on the slide!'
'What? No, I didn't!' Pimento defended himself.
'No, you did!' accused Mac.
'Hey, man, I didn't push you,' Pimento said again. 'I taught you a lesson!' he exclaimed.
'Wait, what do you mean "taught you a lesson"?' asked Jake.
'Look, after his turn he stayed down there for nearly two minutes. So, I went ahead and collided with him, teaching him a lesson. Seriously, if there's one person to blame, it's you for not telling him to get out of the way once his turn is done!'
'No, you pushed me!' Mac shouted again.
'Hey! I taught you a lesson' Pimento said back.
'Your fault!'
'No, it's your fault!'
'Okay, both of you stop it, right now!' Amy demanded. She turned to Mac before speaking, 'Mac, you know you have to get out of the way once your turn is done! We've told you that so many times!' She then turned to address Pimento, 'And Adrian, hurting a four year old to prove a point? That's so messed up even for you!' The two people looked down, embarrassed. 'Mac, apologize to Mr. Pimento,' she demanded.
'Sorry, Mr. Pimento,' Mac mumbled.
'Now, Adrian, apologize to Mac.'
'Sorry, Mac,' Pimento mumbled as well.
'Good,' said Amy with a smile. 'Why don't you two go play together? Maybe you'll become good friends,' she suggested.
'Okay!' the both exclaimed at the same time. Pimento took Mac by the hand as they walked to the swings.
'Wow,' said Jake as he sat down, 'that was brilliant, Ames.'
'Yeah, well, I'm a lieutenant, have a goofy husband, and two stubborn children. I have to be strict at times.'
And Jake wouldn't have it any other way.