Unease
(A/N: Mostly an exposition chapter, where some of the pieces and threads are tied together again. Not overly happy with it, except the first and last parts, but enjoy nonetheless.)
When he regained consciousness, the first thing he knew was a hand clutching his tightly, almost vice-like. His eyes fluttered open as he took in what felt like the first deep breath he'd been able to draw for a while. They found his brother sitting at his side in tears, clutching said hand for all he was worth. "Jurgen?" Hans whispered. His brother sniffed, looking quickly at him with eyes opening. He stared at his sibling a long moment before shaking his head and getting up, leaving without a word. Hans winced at the action then felt the body curled next to him. He looked over and his heart skipped a beat. Elsa. He didn't know whether to fear her or adore her more. He couldn't imagine it would be a pleasant conversation when she awakened. He felt a little body stirring up by his head and glanced. His heart almost stopped again. His baby, their baby, curled around his head yawning, clutching at tiny fistfuls of his father's hair. He let out a breath again, closing his eyes and feeling darkness creeping up once more…
"Vargen ylar i nattens skog
Han vill men kan inte sova
Hungern river i hans varga buk
Och det är kallt i hans stova
Du varg du varg, kom inte hit
Ungen min får du aldrig.
Du varg du varg, kom inte hit
Ungen min far du aldrig."
His eyes fluttered tiredly open at the sound. It was dark, only firelight illuminating the room. How long had he been asleep? He found, as the song went on, that he couldn't bring himself to care. He sat slowly up with a curious frown, searching for the source. Yet again he felt his heart almost stop on seeing. Curled up by the fire, cradling their babe, was Elsa with a scarf draped over her shoulders, rocking the tiny infant as she sang.
"Vargen ylar i nattens skog
Ylar av hunger o klagar
Men jag ska ge'n en grisa svans
Sånt passar i varga magar
Du varg du varg, kom inte hit
Ungen min får du aldrig.
Du varg du varg, kom inte hit
Ungen min far du aldrig…"
Hans remained quiet and still, watching them both. The emotion in her voice, the wavering… He hated himself that he may well be the cause of the pain he heard there…
"Vargen ylar i nattens skog
Han vill men kan inte sova
Hungern river i hans varga buk
Och det är kallt i hans stova
Du varg du varg, kom inte hit
Ungen min får du aldrig.
Du varg du varg, kom inte hit
Ungen min far du aldrig…"
"I'm sorry," he said, when he was sure the song had come to an end. She tensed up slightly, pausing, but soon continued her rocking. She said nothing. "I'm so, so sorry," he said once more.
"I know. Now never ever speak of it again," she said almost hollowly.
"I'm sorry," he repeated, voice breaking. He felt tears in his eyes that he couldn't hold back.
"Mirror and bear, don't you come here. I will never let you take my husband," she sang. He let out a breath, closing his eyes and looking away. "Why didn't you ask me to come?" she soon questioned.
"I don't know. I didn't want you to drown there again…" he answered.
"But it was okay to drown yourself?" she replied, voice strained as she finally looked at him.
"I had a backup plan," he answered.
"Do you have any idea how deep you were, Hans?" she asked, voice breaking as she rose and crossed to him, sitting at his side and reaching out with her free hand, cupping his face. "Do you have any idea?" He was silent. That was probably answer enough. "He couldn't find you. None of us could find you. It was the north wind that guided me there at last, and your signal that told me your position. You nearly died there…" He vehemently shoved back the brief thought that crossed his mind that he probably should have. She let out a shaking breath and pulled him close, resting his head against her chest and gently stroking his hair again. "You were lost for hours," she said. "If not for your flames, you would have been gone." He kicked away the thought that he would have been more fortunate had that been the case.
"What happened? Answer that, and I will never speak of this again," he promised finally. "Unless you ask."
Her mouth quivered and she let out a shaking gasp, burying her face in his hair and relishing the feel of him there and alive and with her. She obliged his request…
Earlier
Kristoff and Jekyll caught up to Sir Kay much slower than they would have liked. The man was staring into a drop off looking deeply concerned and unsettled. "Where's Hans?!" Kristoff demanded, racing up to him. He stopped on noticing the sudden dip, and his mouth dropped. He looked at a grim-faced Sir Kay who hadn't answered. "No," he said, shaking his head. No response. "No!" Kristoff said. "No, we have to go after him! Now! He'll die down there! What were you people thinking?!"
"I'm sorry," Kay said, sounding numb. He looked at them. "Go back and get Elsa. Get his brother too. I'm going down there and getting him out whatever it takes. Run! The both of you! As fast as you possibly can. Just run!" They didn't need to be told twice. Immediately they turned on their heels and charged upwards again. Kay looked down into the depths, took a breath, then leapt into it with teeth gritted. He hit the bottom and got immediately up, searching quickly for Hans. "Hans?! Hans, where are you?! Hans!"
Kristoff and Jekyll reached the surface in record time only to slide to stops, horrified gasps escaping them. The two pirate crews and the Northuldra were engaged in a battle, Bedivere right in the middle trying to put and end as non-lethally as possible and looking annoyed and agitated. Elsa was quickly freezing Xe and his men to the ground as soon as she saw them with all the protective fury of a mother bear defending her cub, which she was. Jekyll was first to snap out of it. "Hans is gone!" he shouted loudly. The sudden interruption froze them all as every eye went to him. "Hans went into Ahtohallan! He went into the depths and Sir Kay went after him, but he waited too long before he did!"
Jurgen went white. Xe appeared vaguely disturbed at the statement. Bedivere looked a little sick at the thought, but he was nowhere near as mortified and frightened as Elsa suddenly was. Silence hung in the air too long. "What?" Elsa finally said, voice shaking with a mix of rage and fear.
"Hans has plunged into Ahtohallan," Jekyll repeated.
Silence. All at once Elsa was off at a run. Jurgen was just as quick to abandon the battle, racing towards the depths as well. Bedivere looked like he wanted to follow, but he also knew that he needed to be here putting Xe and company back in their place and defending the Northuldra. For a while he was torn, but duty won out and he stayed behind, eyes narrowing darkly at Xe who immediately tensed up at the gaze and seemed to quell. If that was all it took, Bedivere would be more than glad. He approached the man threateningly and Xe backed uneasily away.
Frozen
Elsa ran blindly. She was barely aware of Jurgen at her side. She felt her icy form starting to take over but couldn't bring herself to care. They reached the edge as fast as possible and without even a second thought, both she and her brother-in-law leapt off the cliff and plunged deep into the sound, Kristoff and Jekyll following them. "Hans!" Elsa cried out. "Hans!" she screamed again. No answer. She took off at a run immediately, leaving the others to fend for themselves.
It was probably a mistake to come after Hans alone, Kay knew, but he pressed on anyway, running and never stopping to look at a single image dancing before his eyes. He barely let himself listen to them because if he did, he knew he'd be able to pinpoint each and every scene and person displayed, and he couldn't handle that right now. He heard Hans crying out to him, but he didn't know from which direction. He didn't know! He stopped only long enough to look around and try to get his bearings, only to catch his breath on seeing a woman's form approaching. He feared it was a memory, at first, but relaxed quickly enough when he recognized her. Elsa. "Queen Elsa!" he called out. She looked his way briefly before racing towards him. She caught up fast enough. "He's calling for me. He's calling for help," Kay said, voice shaking a bit.
"I've left Jekyll, Kristoff, and Jurgen behind. Go back to them and help them stay alive. A trail will lead you there, then follow that trail back to come after me," she said. He nodded in understanding and took off quickly to backtrack to the others. They'd need his body heat more than Elsa would.
Elsa, for her part, kept going and going, seeking her husband desperately and calling his name, but he couldn't hear her. If he could, he would have replied. Was she too far away from him? Going in the wrong direction? Where was he?! Where was her emperor?! Gale suddenly blew passed and she gasped, looking in the direction it had gone. It could reach her still. She gasped and ran after it, following its direction. "You loved my mother dearly and helped her always. Help me now," Elsa said to it as it blew next to her. It seemed to acknowledge her words by speeding up.
Elsa raced along with it, passing horrible memory after horrible memory the deeper she went, seeing all that Hans had seen but not registering it. Knowing that the other saw the memories too, when she heard Jurgen's agonized cry at a recollection of his parents. She didn't stop or slow. She got the gist of the formations but didn't give herself time to process them. Hans was her priority.
The mirror and the bear.
She ran and ran not once pausing until she heard her husband's words. His heartbreaking words. "Nightingale, Nightingale! Your singing voice that I may not hear what they say!" he cried out in tears and pain, and her own heart felt like it shattered inside her. She almost broke down but kept it together. She remembered his story The Emperor and the Nightingale. Suddenly it had a meaning so much more horrible and haunting and personal than it already had. She followed his voice now, not the north wind.
"My love!" she screamed, but he couldn't hear her, she knew he couldn't. If he did, he would have answered.
"Precious Snow Queen, sing, pray sing!" he gasped in pain. "I have given you my heart and costly love; I have even hung my life round your neck. Sing! Sing! Please! Elsa, please! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"
"Hans!" she shrieked.
"Elsa!" he cried again desperately at the same time, not hearing her. She didn't think before she started to sing. Sing the hum she had heard calling her to Ahtohallan in her mother's voice, though at the time she hadn't recognized it as her mother's. He responded and she could have died on the spot for her relief. She sang it once more, and once more he answered as she followed his reply. She saw a burst of flame shoot up in the distance, brief but there, and ran towards it. Then she saw him. She saw him and she felt like her world stopped. She wouldn't let it shatter too. She ran to him immediately, falling before him, and sang loud and clear to him, cradling his face in her hand. She would not leave this place without him. She wouldn't let it have her husband. She cradled him close until Sir Kay reached their side ahead of the others and set to warming Hans as quickly as he could.
She felt him drown in her arms, and the cry of grief that had escaped her as she began to beg fate's mercy was grief personified. He had been gone…
Present
"I caused a sleigh to form beneath us, and dogs of ice, and I tried to fight back the cold as we rode as quickly as we could for safety. Kay stayed behind with your brother, Jekyll, and Kristoff. I'm terrified to ask what they saw after I was gone… Jekyll has spoken to no one, and your brother was already almost catatonic after seeing the memories, or the major ones, that you must have. They arrived some time after us, Jurgen went right to your bedside, and he sat himself there and clung to your hand like he would never let you go. Jekyll vanished into his tent. Only Kristoff seemed more or less unaffected, but I suspect he saw the trolls, because he was in tears when he went back to Anna to tell her what had happened and why he ran off," she finished.
"And my brother after he left me?" Hans asked in concern.
"I half suspect he went out and offered his life to Xe. Ryder reports he saw your brother kneeling at his rival's feet with head bowed as Xe held a sword ready to strike, but… but he didn't do it… He just shifted uncomfortably then tucked the sword away and walked off with his crew, making their way outside 'to guard'. Or so they told Ryder," Elsa answered. "Beyond that, I don't know. I think Jurgen went after them. Xe's crew came back, but not Xe and Jurgen." Hans was quiet, troubled by the news but not too much so. If Xe had refused to kill Jurgen the first time, he wouldn't do it on a second request. "Thord, Honeymaren, the Duke, Lamiel, and Raynold came back from wherever they went off to. I was too exhausted to question or ask or confront them," she soon added. "They… weren't sure how to take it all. Lamiel and Raynold went off to join Kay. So did Bedivere. I don't know where my cousin went, but if he decided to pull a stunt as stupid as the one you did?" She shook her head. "I don't know what I'm going to do with either of you."
Hans was quiet, taking it in. "I'm sorry," he finally said again.
"I'm not the only one you owe an apology too," she said, standing up and walking back to the fire, standing next to it while holding their baby close. He got up quietly, after a moment, and slipped out of the tent to find the others he'd caused to suffer with his stupid decision.
Frozen
His first intended stop was to Jekyll's tent. He got the feeling he would be the easiest one to face right now. He couldn't even begin to imagine speaking to Jurgen, but he knew he had to. Kristoff would be tough too, but he'd rather face his brother-in-law than Sir Kay, so Kristoff was next on the list. He could handle Kristoff's brand of anger. He didn't need to worry about it right now, though. First Jekyll, then he'd concern himself over the others.
He tentatively, nervously, entered the doctor's tent, pushing aside the flap and peering in first. The man was sitting hunched over on the bed, back to him. He was wringing his hands and looking overall deeply troubled and upset, and Hans almost began to rethink this whole endeavor. Could it really be so bad to just pretend none of this had happened? "I'm sorry, Henry," he finally willed himself to say.
"Hans," Jekyll greeted. It wasn't forgiveness, Hans noted, but then he didn't expect that. Silence stretched on between them. "What were you thinking?" he finally asked again.
"Will everyone ask me that?" Hans replied somewhat bitterly.
"If you expected anything less, you deluded yourself," Jekyll answered. "It's the least of the questions they'll be asking."
"You know what I was thinking," Hans replied quietly.
"I know what you told yourself your reasons were," he answered. Silence again. "What is it?" he finally asked, sensing Hans wasn't really comfortable speaking much more about his screw up.
"I wanted to see how you were faring," Hans answered. "I know… I know you probably saw things you… could have done without seeing."
Dead silence once more. "I saw Hyde," Jekyll finally answered. "Both when he was me and when he was separate of me. But he will never be truly separate, will he? I saw our memories… Horrible, dreadful, appalling memories… Recollections of murder, assault, of so many awful, unspeakable things… I watched myself commit those crimes. Me. And then him, both under the influence of the potion and after my consciousness was separated."
"I assume talking about those things is the last thing you intend to do," Hans said quietly, looking away. No answer. "You're free of him, Henry."
"Then why did I see his memories too?" Jekyll asked. Hans didn't have an answer for that. "We will never be truly separate," he repeated. "I put half my consciousness into a shell and left that shell to run amok unhindered. I should have left it alone."
"You didn't deserve that fate," Hans said.
"No one does, but we still deal with it, don't we?" Jekyll replied with a somewhat bitter laugh.
Hans let out a shaky sigh. "There is a knight among the company that was sent up here. He was chosen for your sake, though for what purposes I don't know. They said he could help you. It may be an idea to speak to him, when we return. The others will put you in contact," he said.
"That may be a good idea," Jekyll answered. "Though which knight could possibly help me cope with this is beyond my knowledge." Silence again. "You need to speak to your brother," Jekyll finally and gravely said.
"He's the last one I intend to speak to," Hans replied hollowly. "I know he should be the first, but he isn't. I can still barely wrap my head around it… I saw my father in Mor'du's eyes…"
Jekyll was gravely quiet, now facing him with an appraising eye. "The mirror corrupted your memories," he finally said.
"It didn't feel like a corruption this time," Hans numbly answered.
"Speak to your brother," Jekyll encouraged again.
"Soon enough," Hans answered. "For now, I intend to see Kristoff. Then Sir Kay. Then finally I'll deal with Jurgen."
"So be it," Jekyll relented. "But don't delay, Hans. It won't get better the longer you put it off." Hans nodded then left quietly to go to Kristoff and Anna's tent.
Frozen
"You were insane!" Kristoff freaked at him, predictably enough. Realistically he shouldn't expect anything less.
"I know! I know. I'm sorry," Hans replied. "I know nothing I say can make it right, and I know I shouldn't have done that."
"You almost died down there, Hans!" Kristoff shouted, pointing in the general direction of the 'doorway'.
"I need to protect my family. Protecting them means digging into the secrets of the past whatever the cost. You don't understand, no one does except maybe Jurgen, but it has to be this way. I have to know," Hans said.
"You don't even know what secrets you need to find and which ones are pointless to look into!" Kristoff said.
"The ones I almost died for were more important than you know. Kristoff, I…" Hans began. He drew a deep, a shaking breath. "I saw Mor'du… And in his eyes I saw the reflection of my father…"
Kristoff stared at him in shock, processing the words. His aggressive stance relaxed to something more sympathetic, though, so Hans took it as a good sign. "Does it even matter who Mor'du was anymore, Hans? What protection does discovering as much offer our family?" he questioned, sounding exhausted with him.
"I don't know. Maybe it will help me understand better why Mor'du and Carabis are so obsessed? Maybe if we can put together why they're working with one another in the first place, we can pull them apart! It can't mean nothing, that that was the memory I saw. It can't be for no reason the nacken sang that song to me," Hans said.
"He sang it to lure and drown you!" Kristoff insisted.
"Then why did he let me go when he had me to himself?!" Hans demanded.
"Maybe you should have gone with the others to seek out the Fair Folk," Kristoff said, massaging the bridge of his nose.
"Maybe I should have, but unless we cross them again it doesn't matter now," Hans replied.
"Thord wanted to warn you about something they said," Kristoff exhaustedly murmured. "Something that pertained to you especially. It had something to do with the mirror and Ahtohallan." Hans shifted, uncomfortable with the thought. "What the hell have you done, Hans? You should have left well enough alone. Now you've maybe made it worse."
Hans was quiet, head bowed. "I know," he finally admitted. To himself as well as to his brother-in-law both.
Frozen
As Hans walked, he decided he should probably change up his game plan a bit. He would touch base with Thord before he touched base with Sir Kay. Compare notes. It could mean life and death. Everything, it seemed, could mean life and death these days… He hated it. He spotted the thief peering down into the depths of Ahtohallan. "Don't," he said, approaching. "It isn't worth it. It calls you deeper and deeper. You don't even realize it's calling until you've already fallen into its trap. Like with a nakken or siren song. If they don't want you to see it coming, you won't see it coming."
Thord shook his head and turned to Hans. "They talked about you. Your… situation concerned them. A lot," he said.
"My situation?" Hans asked.
"The mirror, Hans. The shards inside of your body," Thord said with a sigh. He shook his head in frustration. "They didn't know what would happen when the power of the mirror met the power of Ahtohallan. I figure they suspect the two are linked, somehow. Guess it doesn't take a lot of imagination to put together how." He looked around them. "This place is like a hall of mirrors… It shouldn't feel as unsettling as it does… It didn't when we first got here."
Hans looked around uneasily. Now that Thord mentioned it, the place did suddenly feel… oppressive. "What did they fear?" Hans asked.
"That they couldn't guess at what would happen, to start. They suspected it was equally as likely that the shards would corrupt Ahtohallan as Ahtohallan would purify the shards, but those were only two of their most prominent theories. At the end of the day, they couldn't say… But Carabis came there, Hans. He was summoned by them. They brought the matter up to him thinking maybe he had some idea what the effects would be and he just… he looked unsettled. Trapped… Maybe even a bit scared… He hadn't thought of that possibility, I guess, and he didn't like that it had been brought up to him. He said you couldn't go down into the river… Maybe that's because he feared what would result from it would be detrimental to his overall scheme, maybe even cost him the war ultimately, but the fae were just as unenthusiastic about the matter as he was. They formed an alliance with him, Hans. Rather, forced him to form an alliance with them. I use the term 'alliance' incredibly loosely. They…" Thord paused then took a breath. "They implied that if they had to, they would come after you." Hans looked stricken and suddenly visibly afraid. "I get you wanted to make things better and safer for our family by finding answers, but it didn't work out like that," Thord said. He looked back down into the depths. "And now we're stuck having to try and right something we're not even sure is a wrong. What if instead of sparing you everything, this ends up costing you it instead?"
Hans looked unsettled and afraid now. Nervous as he stared into the depths. "What am I supposed to do now?" he numbly asked.
"You're asking me like I know. I just showed up here within the last month or so! I barely know what's even going on, man!" Thord replied. "I know crap's messed, that's what I know. I know precious little else. Evil Jotun Fair Folk hybrids, cursed bloodlines and bears, mystical rivers slash ice palaces…" He shook his head. "I didn't sign up for this! Ugh, I should have just stuck with Xe's plan in the first place. Shouldn't have let myself get attached." He looked at the young king again. "Whatever is inside of you, this wicked mirror thing? I don't think you've even scratched the surface of what power it wields. And I don't think you or me or anyone wants to find out…" Hans was quiet, looking wrecked. Thord looked down into the depths. "I'm going down there. Not far, just far enough."
"It'll trap you like it trapped us," Hans replied.
"Maybe. But then I'm banking my fate down there won't be any worse than whatever fate would have surprised me up here," Thord said.
"Do you even know what you're looking for?" Hans asked.
"Yeah. The moment Carabis made that mirror," Thord replied. "Maybe something in its story will be the answer you needed and should have looked for. Or was it on your mind but you didn't last long enough to see?"
"The latter," Hans answered quietly. He looked at Thord again. "Neither Elsa or I could go down there and still resist the call. You won't either," Hans said.
"Oh, I'm good at resisting a lot of things," Thord replied, wryly smirking. "I'll bring a rope. Tie myself in place so even if it calls me, I won't fall all the way into the sound."
"Not alone. I'm serious," Hans cautioned.
"I don't plan on going down alone," Thord replied, looking into the maw. "Honeymaren and Ryder will be tagging along. Extra insurance. Best of all? You can't stop me because you did it too. Only you failed. Let's see if I'm not a little more lucky than you were. Don't. Tell. My cousins. Okay?"
"I'm in hot water with them already, so what's a little more?" Hans replied with a sigh.
Thord nodded. "Find your brother. Please? Way I hear it he… took it hard. All of it. And it wasn't just the memories you witnessed, there were memories of his own too. Guy's got like fourteen more years worth of bad memories than you," he said. Hans was silent. Maybe it would be better to rip the adhesive strip off fast after all… Then he'd go to Sir Kay for the soothing.
Frozen
It took Hans a while to track Jurgen. When he did, he was surprised. He almost thought he should just walk right back into that cave and not look back. His brother was outside, sitting curled up on a rock with chin rested on his knees as he gazed out to sea. The only other person with him? Xe, which was more than a little shocking. Xe who was leaned up against a rock face, arms crossed and glaring at the ground in frustration with a torn expression on his face like he didn't know whether to run Jurgen through the back or put a reassuring arm around his shoulders. Xe saw Hans first and scoffed, standing up straight and marching passed the young king. Hans watched after him, puzzled and more than a little surprised, before turning to look at Jurgen again. He shifted uneasily before finally approaching.
"You offered your life to him," Hans noted in a near murmur. Jurgen was quiet. "Why?"
"Because it was the least of what I owed him," Jurgen bitterly answered.
Silence. "Why?" Hans finally, uneasily, asked.
"Because he and I have history that extends long before our buccaneering rivalry. It was before you were born. Hell, before you, Iscawin, or Kelin-Sel were born. I think the triplets were still pretty small themselves, if not toddlers or babies. The river of memory dragged those recollections up and force me to face them, and they weren't pretty, okay?" Jurgen said.
Hans was quiet. "What history?" he finally asked.
Jurgen shook his head. "Cliché as it is, best friends," he dryly said. "More… servant master where the servant became a friend where he wasn't supposed to. He was a Mongolian slave dad brought into the castle one day with no explanation of where he'd picked him up or how. Plopped him down in front of us and told us he was the new whipping boy. I laughed my head off at it. Almost cheered because I thought that meant I could get away with whatever. Turns out 'whipping boy' to dad just meant he got whipped first. A psychological tactic to 'get us in the proper headspace' to receive our punishment. Terrify first so breaking comes easier. Hell if I know when I started to actively avoid trouble so he wouldn't get into it. I got protective. Looking back, I'd guess it was because he was my age and I happened to not hate him like I hated my family. I got along with him better than I got along with my siblings, for sure. At some point master-slave became friends. Princes of the Southern Isles don't have friends. I made the mistake of protecting him against a whipping one day, when it was supposed to be particularly harsh and basically coma inducing. You can guess how well that went over. Insert a year's worth plus of conditioning and drilling, added to constant separation where he was locked in a dungeon in pretty well solitary confinement, and long story short, I stopped being so sympathetic to his plight, and his overjoyed reunion with me when I was finally brought down to see him again ended in a thrilled embrace from him and nothing from me in return except treachery. I ended up the one doing the whipping. And other general torture. Then dad sold him off to some seafaring slave traders when he was satisfied the both of us had been sufficiently punished for our transgression. I wanted to do something, for the first time since reuniting with him I wanted to step in, but of course I didn't. Not that it mattered. Somehow he managed to ingratiate himself to the slavers then mutinied the lot of them and took over the ship. Insert start of buccaneer career here, and stalking of the Southern Isles seeking revenge. It was like a dream come true when he figured out that I was 'Meilic'. Imagine my shock when I found out 'Xe' was him."
Hans was quiet. If all his brothers had stories similar to that one, he wasn't sure he wanted to know about his brothers' own personal demons anymore. At the end of the day, they were all dealing with them as best they knew how. "Makes a whole lot more sense now, why you offered him your life."
"My plan was to throw myself at his feet after I knew you'd live," Jurgen said. "He didn't take the opportunity. Walked away in a tiff with his crew. I followed him to offer the deal again. He sent off his men and passed that? Nothing. We were milling about on the rocks in pretty well complete silence ever since, except maybe a few exchanged words or brief conversations. But the both of us are emotionally constipated, so nothing was actually addressed. More… silently understood. Probably best the neither of us try and address things and just keep going with the flow instead. Hey, if nothing else I know he might not actually want me dead so much as suffering."
Hans nodded. There was silence between them. "The bear…" Hans finally breached.
Jurgen visibly tensed. "Not. Here. Not until we're with our brothers again," he said.
"You saw it too, didn't you?" Hans asked, sounding almost vulnerable.
Jurgen was quiet, jaw twitching. "Corrupted memories," he bluntly replied.
"But it wasn't," Hans answered. "I remember that moment. I remember seeing the figure in the eyes that looked so familiar…"
"Not now, Hans! Not now!" Jurgen sharply snapped, making Hans jump back a bit in a measure of fear. "Just. Go. We'll talk about this some other time. Not now." Hans looked down then frowned, turning and marching away with a angry step. Jurgen sighed in frustration, looking down.
Frozen
Hans waited, pacing in the cold of the icy domain and rubbing his hands together. Bruni sat cuddled on his shoulder while Sitron watched from the ground in a measure of concern. Hans looked towards the temporary village and saw Olaf cooing over baby Gerda and baby Kay under Elsa and Anna's eyes, and big Gerda's. A small smile pulled at his lips before vanishing again. What had he done…? He let out a shaking breath and just then heard returning footsteps. He looked over quickly and saw the four knights entering dressed in warmer outfits now. Probably given to them by the Northuldra. While they weren't sporting the shining armor this side of the era, the armor they'd chosen, while a hybrid, still wasn't exactly as warm as it should be in a place like this.
Kay noticed him first and made an excuse to the others, leaving them and approaching Hans with a frown. "I'm sorry," Hans said when he saw the knight opening his mouth to speak.
Kay closed his mouth again, glaring hard at him, then sighed. "I'm not exactly one to talk anyway," he dryly replied.
"I messed up. I messed up so bad, and I don't know what to do," Hans said.
"Yeah. Lamiel and Raynold filled us in on the unease of the Fair Folk and the Jotun. Gods, you are my seed. I can't even legitimately ask 'how do you manage to tick off two super powered entities at the same time and unite them against you when they're supposed to be mortal enemies', because I've done it! We, more correctly, but no… yeah, me. I've done it solo too," Kay said. Hans sheepishly rubbed an arm, avoiding the man's eyes. Kay sighed. "We'll deal with it as it comes," he said.
Hans looked around. "This place… It feels unsettling. It didn't at first."
"I know," Kay answered. "Look around, Hans. Everyone's noticed it. Just no one has the guts to say."
"What does it mean?" Hans asked quietly.
"I don't know. All we can do is wait and see," Kay said. Just then a terrified and grieved scream ripped from one of the tents. People hurried towards it. Kay looked in that direction. Hans followed his gaze in concern. A group of people entered the tent and none came out for a long while. When finally they did, all of them looked shaken and started to huddle together. Hans frowned. "I think we need to join them," Kay said. "Find out what's happening." Hans nodded.
Frozen
"It was a nightmare," an uneasy Northuldra woman stated. "Just a nightmare. Right?"
"She said it was a memory in a dream," a Northuldra man uneasily replied. "A horrible, horrible, twisted memory… She couldn't even look at Mattias, and they've been almost inseparable since he showed back up."
"What happened?" Hans asked, approaching.
"Yelana had a nightmare that was more than a nightmare," Kristoff answered, lips pursed and arms folded. "A corrupted memory… She saw the day peace was shattered between Arendelle and the Northuldra, only it was Mattias in the place of Agnarr's father. He killed her husband, he betrayed her people, he caused all of this. It seemed so real to her she couldn't even look at him… It hurt him bad, but he's staying in there to try and smooth it over." Hans was quiet. Kristoff looked at him with a curious frown. "Something on your mind?" he asked.
"This is going to happen again. Again and again and again," Hans answered, looking a little shaken. "The corrupted memories… what if they're flowing from out of the depths of Ahtohallan and infiltrating dreams?"
"Why?" Kristoff asked.
Silence. "Because I'm here," Hans finally, and somewhat miserably, answered. "It won't stop… It will torment their every resting moment as long as I'm among them."
"But you're not going anywhere," Kristoff said, frowning and sounding stern.
"Kristoff, I can't stay," Hans replied. "I don't know what's going to happen if I remain in Ahtohallan for long. The mirror shards… They've ached inside of me ever since I set foot in this place. It's driving me insane. It hurts."
"Elsa won't let you leave," Kristoff said. "And you can't be so callous you'll go without her agreement."
"Can't I be?" Hans retorted, frowning at him with a sharp glint in his eyes.
"You won't be," Kristoff firmly said. "Talk to Elsa. The two of you can figure it out together. You aren't alone in this, Hans. You can't afford to be with a new baby in the picture. Just sit tight and spend time with your wife and son for goodness sakes. Let us figure some of this out."
Quiet met his words. "For now, Hans finally relented after a few moments. Kristoff breathed a sigh of relief.
Frozen
Elsa listened to Hans' concerns quietly, staring out a window of the tent with expression pinched in pain and concern. Stress when she shouldn't have to deal with that stress. "What are you saying?" she finally asked, when the silence between them had dragged on for minutes with neither speaking. He stared at the floor, hunched over with hands balled together between his knees.
"I'm not saying anything," he answered. "Do I have thoughts on what would be best? Yes. But I'm not going to tackle decisions like that without you."
Silence. "I would have liked to make a home here… Stay forever with you and the baby in Ahtohallan… I suppose it's for the best if the baby grows up, at first, with Arendellian culture. It will give us time to fix this. Time to make things right…" she said. Her voice hitched a bit.
"I'm sorry," he quietly said. He looked up at her. "Sorry that you're considering giving up so much for me. You shouldn't have to… If you want to stay, if you need to, then stay. This is where you belong."
"I belong with you," she answered, giving him a stern look, eyes narrowed. "One day maybe we can return here, but that day will have to wait until we deal with the mirror. I can put if off a little while longer. Ahtohallan and the Enchanted Forest aren't going anywhere anytime soon."
He shook his head, looking down again. She should have been with the nokk… the kelpie… He would have made her a more suitable match than he ever could… She reached out, covering his hands with hers. He raised his eyes to meet hers. "We'll leave tomorrow. Before things here can escalate and become anything worse."
"And what? Walk right into Carabis' hands? You know that isn't possible, Elsa. Until he leaves," Hans replied.
"Yes it is. The Fair Folk forced his alliance to them, not the other way around. They will defend us from him," she said.
"Not if the shards inside of me react with Ahtohallan worse than this," Hans said. "Elsa, it's conjuring up ghosts… Corrupted shades of memories made up of physical material that will be capable of hurting us. Of tearing us apart… It isn't true, when they say true love can withstand everything."
"So far it's managed," she answered with a reassuring smile.
"Can it survive your seeing what I could have turned into if love and mercy wasn't enough?" he asked. "Can you cope with seeing what might have been if you hadn't found it within you to forgive me?"
She swallowed tightly. "I've had those nightmares before," she finally chose to answer. "I know what it could have been like."
"The Fair Folk might be able to help me," he tried to argue.
"I'm not taking that risk until we know more," she replied. "Now stop talking about any of this and just relish in our new parenthood." She looked towards the icy cradle their babe was tucked in, fire blazing inside of the ice. "See him, Hans? Do you see what we created? He's so tiny. So precious. I've barely let go of him since I bore him. It's time you had a chance now."
"I can't," he said.
"Don't be afraid," she said, cupping his cheek gently. "You don't corrupt everything you touch."
Hans looked over at the child exhaustedly. Finally he rose and crossed to the cradle. He hesitated only a moment before reaching down and picking the tiny newborn up and staring down at it quietly. Tiredly. He was beautiful… He let out a shaking breath and raised the infant up, pressing a kiss tenderly to its teensy head. It stirred and made a few little grunting sounds before settling again with a big yawn. Hans cradled his son gently in his hand, and for a moment he felt completely at peace, a smile creeping across his lips...
Frozen
Thord moved carefully down into Ahtohallan, a nervous Honeymaren and Ryder behind him. He wryly noted how much a parallel they seemed to be to the Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff trio. "This is a horrible idea," Ryder tensely said.
Thord kept moving, his focus entirely on the answers he wanted. "Hans' mistake, and Elsa's, was not knowing what they wanted from this place. I know what answers I seek. I'm not stumbling in blindly. I have a singular goal, and I intend to focus on it. Asset of a thief, to keep focused on the prize," he said.
"Sexy," Honeymaren teased. For a moment Thord lost focus, freezing and blinking blankly before blushing and giving her a scathing, somewhat annoyed look. He huffed, turning, and set off again in a near sulk.
"Really?" Ryder hissed at her.
"He makes it too easy," she answered, brushing it off as she continued after Thord. Ryder rolled his eyes and followed her.
Silence fell over the three when the memories began to form. Ryder and Honeymaren pointedly avoided looking at them. Not that they had many bad memories, but there were memories neutral enough they could be easily corrupted. They didn't want what had happened to Hans happening to them. Thord moved stoically through the memories, jaw twitching at some particularly painful ones, but he kept going and didn't pause. Honeymaren and Ryder did. He glanced back in vague annoyance to see what had caught their attention and winced, looking away again while shutting his eyes. The memory of an old friend who… wanted a little more than just friendship and, well, he could have been kinder in his rejection… He heard himself shout that friend's name and heard the sound of the gun. Silence encompassed them, broken only by the sound of the memory version of him sobbing over his old companion's body.
"Can we please move the hell on?" he darkly stated. They looked over at him. He hated the sympathy he sensed radiating off them. "It was years ago, okay?! Let's just go!"
They followed silently looking like they wanted to offer their sympathies, but they weren't blind. They could probably tell by his body language that sympathies were the last things he wanted right now. "He seemed like a really good guy," Ryder finally offered.
"He was, but I didn't come here to revisit him so just let it go," Thord said. Almost in response, he saw a memory of Elsa belting out a song that's primary lyrics were 'let it go'. He frowned, blatantly unimpressed, and sighed in annoyance. Gods, it was the family catchphrase. Stupidest catchphrase ever. Gag him with a spoon. He hated himself for how often he seemed to use it. He sensed Honeymaren and Ryder starting to drift. "Focus!" he called to them. They snapped attention back to him and quickly caught up, determining to stay near. The memories were distracting them. Not him. They weren't the memories he was looking for. Suddenly he stopped. They paused too and gasped. There before them was a gaping opening into a dark hole with no easily discernible bottom, it was so black down there. Thord frowned and began looking around. They continued staring into the sound. "Don't even think about it!" he called to them. They turned attention quickly to him again and followed, walking along the top of the well and looking uneasily down. "The memories are here, and they can be drawn up. Somehow. We don't need to dive deep." He drew a hand along the ancient, icy walls. "You know what I'm looking for," he murmured to them. Honeymaren and Ryder exchanged looks. Thord turned to the walls, placing his other hand on them and closing his eyes, resting his forehead on the ice. "Show me," he whispered to it.
The cave began to creak like ice was cracking somewhere. Honeymaren and Ryder gasped, looking around. "M-maybe we're better off leaving," Ryder uneasily said.
"Show me," Thord repeated again in a growl, fingernails digging into the ice and teeth clenched.
All at once an icy draft blew through, chilling them straight through to their bones. Ice chipping away could be heard. Thord opened his eyes, looking into the ice. There, in its reflection, appeared a figure. He frowned, squinting, but his eyes widened shortly after when he recognized it. Carabis. Deep in the depths of the river's sound prying away at large portions of ice and fashioning them together. Slowly the form of a mirror became clear, and Thord stepped back, lips slowly parting. Carabis turned to it, breaking off a last piece of ice, and placed it with the others before melding all the pieces together with Jotun magic. He took the mirror, flew quickly out of Ahtohallan as it creaked and groaned in angry protest, then came out into the sky, flying up and landing elsewhere far from the place, coating the mirror with a strange sort of paste Thord could infer the nature of. The mirror sheened red, glistening a bit, and Carabis looked into it. As he did, Thord saw his own reflection in the reflection and gawked in mounting horror as it warped and twisted and reflected good into bad and bad into evil.
The wicked hybrid smirked and began to cackle before taking off with the mirror. He watched the scene jump ahead to when the mirror shattered high in the sky, and saw the pieces raining down on the world below as the hybrid cursed. He watched as the mirror slowly began to be pieced together again, the shards either being ripped from the dead, or still living, bodies of the corrupted, or being found in the wilderness. Piece by piece the mirror was fashioned together once more until finally only a few parts were left unfinished. He saw an image of Dr. Jekyll putting together a potion using a salt in which the finely ground pieces of the mirror shimmered unnoticed by him. He watched the man drink it. He saw the mirror manifest itself in Hyde's horrible form, Jekyll's reflection twisted as the mirror would have twisted it, but brought to life. He didn't know anything about that, of course, but he knew that it was probably something worth noting to his cousins and Hans. He saw the formation of a man who looked like Hans, pierced through with a large shard of it and losing himself almost immediately to the wicked influence. He saw that form warp and twist and become a giant bear rearing up and looking utterly horrifying. He saw the pieces of the mirror enter into Hans' heart and eyes when he was a child and planting themselves there, laying in wait and dormant. He saw the wicked sprite scowling at his four missing segments of his creation and despising them, pursuing them to the ends of the earth. Mor'du he found first, but the bear could not be subdued and stood against him and dominated him. Hans he found next. Hyde he found last but seemed still uncertain about, because for so long Hyde had hidden within Jekyll unseen.
"By the gods…" Thord heard Ryder whisper.
"What is this?" Honeymaren tensely asked, audibly scared and nervous now.
Thord watched the shards of the mirror burrow into Hans' heart and eyes and pulse there in said heart, lying dormant. The shard in his head seemed to gradually migrate to the back somewhere, where it too stayed dormant. He saw the mirror again, and the location of the shards in Hans' body, and the two images put themselves together. Thord watched in horror as the pieces of the mirror inside the young king lined up perfectly with two of the missing portions.
"What does he want with Hans?" Thord asked the ice darkly. No sooner had he asked when Ahtohallan gave its answer via Carabis' memories. Thord gasped in terror, staggering fearfully back with eyes wide. He watched as the shattered mirror shards shivered and tore from their setting, piercing into the young king's body and joining with the two shards within, assembling piece by piece inside the man's body until his cousin's husband became it, his skin little more than a covering disguising the unnatural shell within that had corrupted his entire being and made him its new setting. "Oh my gods," Thord whispered. Hans…