Chapter 17

She gazed at Francis with a mischievous smile, "well, if you have other plans I'm sure Bash would be delighted to spend the day with me. What do you think King Henry?"

She saw the King trying hard not to chuckle at Marie's antics. He saw his son's jaw drop. "Francis she's only teasing you," he warned.

"Marie dear," you know it's unbecoming to play games, now go fix it," she ordered as she watched her son quickly walk out of the room, his head held up high. She knew he was hurt. "Otherwise you're going to be miserable and him too while missing an entire day you two could have spent together and only have your ladies for company."

Marie felt bad, her teasing had gotten out of hand and it had gone further than she intended. She walked out of the room as well following Francis. She wasn't allowed to run in the castle but she walked as quickly as her dress and shoes would allow.

"Francis!" she called. "Francis please wait!"

She frowned when he kept walking. She even ran a little knowing she wasn't supposed to but she was still too late. He had escaped into his chambers and he wouldn't answer her, even when she knocked.

"I'm sorry," she whispered knowing he wouldn't be able to hear her as she walked sadly into her own chambers to get ready for the festival. Her ladies were already there waiting for her and immediately surrounded her when they saw her face.

"Marie, what's wrong?" Aylee asked worried.

She was silent for a moment before answering, "Francis and I were teasing each other at breakfast and I took it too far," she said sadly. "I hurt him and now he won't speak or even see me."

"Oh Marie," Kenna said. "It's going to be okay, you know he loves you."

Lola smiled at her reassuringly, "Why don't we get you dressed and make you look so gorgeous he forgets about it," she said encouragingly.

"And then we'll sneak you into his room through the passageways," Greer laughed.

Marie had to laugh at that one and she forgot about her troubles for awhile as the girls dressed her, did her makeup and dressed her hair up extra special, even weaving small baby roses into her hair to match her dress which was a beautiful rose red accentuated with white lace and a red rose on her black sash around her waist.

"Lola will you lay out a riding dress for me later, I'll have to change before the races begin," she explained. She smiled when Lola pulled out her favorite, a red velvet riding dress.

The girls pronounced her ready and then pushed her into the secret passageway wishing her luck promising they would find her and be nearby at the festival.

Marie was very nervous but she took a couple of deep breaths and entered Francis room.

He was surprised when the door opened but she saw the cloud come across his face when he realized it was her. She stood there for a moment, trying to read his face.

'Marie I don't want to see you right now," he told her, turning back to what he was doing.

"I am aware," she said cautiously. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, I hope you know that was not my intention."

"Wasn't it?" he turned on her. "We just talked about this, this morning Marie and a mere hour later you throw it all out the window and throw my brother in my face and do so in front of my parents, 'MY FAMILY', he emphasized."

She looked down at her feet; she had no idea what to say, all she could feel was her heart breaking. Especially, when he took the family she had grown to love away from her and made it his.

"I hope it makes you feel good about yourself that you know how to manipulate me and make me hurt," he told her painfully.

"I'm sorry I went too far," she finally said.

"Yes you did and now you have to face the consequences of your words. Go spend the day with Bash since that is what you really want," he told her. "I have found something else to occupy me."

Marie started to get angry too, now she knew he was trying to make her hurt as much as she had hurt him. She stood there refusing to leave knowing what he needed to hear.

"If you think I would rather spend the day with Bash than with you, then you don't know me as well as you say you do,' she said as she walked closer to him.

He didn't say anything, he just ignored her.

"Go ahead," she whispered as she just stood there.

He turned around, "go ahead and what Marie?" he said stiffly.

"Go ahead and make me hurt like I hurt you. I deserve it."

He shook his head, "I was raised better than that," he told her. "You've had your fun, just leave me alone."

She felt herself ready to break but she pushed it back, "if something like this can make you turn on me so easily then I'm not quite sure there's any hope for us in the future," she whispered as she slammed the door behind her.

Francis whipped his head up, quite sure he hadn't heard her correctly. 'Had she really just put all of this on him?' He felt himself slide to the floor, his heart still hurting over what she had done at breakfast and he didn't know how to make it stop.

Marie rushed back to her room, glad her ladies had left for the festival already. She went over to her window seat and sunk down onto it as she, for the second time that morning, felt herself overwhelmed with emotion and she let it out. She cried for what felt like hours. She cried for what she had done at breakfast, and for the hurt she had caused her best friend but most of all she cried because she had finally done something he wasn't able to forgive her. After all of that she cried for the future she may have lost not for her country or her people but for the loss of the only person in the world who had truly loved her.

She was lying over the window seat still crying when she heard the Queen come into her room.

"Marie, you are late, the festival started over an hour ago, where are you?" she asked until she saw the little girl lying on the window seat.

Marie sat up slowly and turned to look at her before flopping back down into the position she had been in.

The Queen gasped, "Marie what on earth?" she asked as she rushed over to her. The little girl's eyes were puffy, red and swollen, it looked like she had been crying for ages and the pillows around her were soaked with her tears.

"What's wrong child?" she asked as she pulled her into her arms. Marie started crying again, she couldn't help it. She didn't know what these tears were for, she just knew she needed to cry. Katherine held her and rocked her until she was finished.

"Here drink this," she told her when she was finished, handing her a cup of water. "It will help, trust me." She said with a smile of encouragement.

Marie took the water and drank it down and she did feel a little bit better.

"Now tell me what happened, please?" she asked. "Perhaps I can help."

Marie looked down miserably, "nobody can help," she said. "It's hopeless and I have nobody to blame except myself," she looked up into the Queen's eyes her lower lip quivering.

"Nothing is ever hopeless my dear, to every problem there is a solution and I have been doing this for quite a long time. Won't you let me help you? I love you and I hate to see you so miserable."

"It's over," she said as the tears started back again. "I loved him and now it's over." She hugged the woman who had become a 2nd mother to her unable to stop.

Katherine was stunned, "what is Marie? I don't understand."

Marie calmed herself down enough to try and explain, drinking some more water. "Francis and I," she said sitting back down.

The queen looked puzzled.

"I didn't mean it," she told the queen, looking up at her. "I didn't mean what I said at breakfast. I didn't even realize I was taking it that far, it just kind of slipped out." She tried to explain hurriedly.

"We all say things we don't mean at times,' she soothed. "It doesn't mean we can't forgive ourselves and move forward. You are so young Marie, mistakes are inevitable."

She looked out the window, "it's inevitable that I will be going back to Scotland unable to fulfill my mother's orders. She will shame me and that's not even the part I fear the most. It's how much I will miss France and all those here I hold so close to my heart."

"Marie, you aren't going anywhere," Katherine assured her. "Did Francis say something when you apologized?" she asked. It's the only thing she could think of that would have put this child into this kind of frenzy. She was near hysterical.

She stood up and began pacing and then she stopped, looking at Katherine unable to stop the floodgates. "I lost him Katherine! He won't forgive me," she told her.

Katherine's eyes stormed upon the realization that her son had done this to Marie. She quickly composed herself, "you must tell me what was said, so I can help," she encouraged her.

She hiccupped, "he…he thinks I did it on purpose. That I wanted to hurt him. He told me to go find Bash and spend the day with him, e-even when I told him I only wanted him."

She sat down at the window again, "he even took his family from me, you all have always been our family and he doesn't even see me worthy of all of you anymore,' she told her as she felt herself slowing down. She needed to lie down again, she didn't feel so great.

"Marie you must lie down for a bit," the queen carried her over to her bed and pulled the comforter down to place her under it. "Don't worry, we will fix this," she told her.

The young child shook her head, "you can't make someone love you if they don't anymore," she said sadly. She could feel the icy coldness gripping her heart full force now as she faced the reality of her future.

"Marie look at me," she requested.

She slowly turned her head, "My son loves you, I've never seen a child anywhere that loves another so much as he does you and I know you feel the same. Now listen up. It's not possible to stop loving someone in a moment of time. You may think it is and he may think he can but I've been around for a lot of years and I know about these things."

She pushed a stray curl back from Marie's face and it pained her to see how awful she looked. "He still loves you," she told her, knowing she needed to hear that more than anything else.

"No he doesn't," she whispered starting to cry again, "I told him if he couldn't forgive me for something like this, something I didn't even mean then what hope is there for us in the future? I saw the love leave his eyes and in that moment my heart shattered, the ice and coldness has taken over. He won't allow himself to love me ever again." Marie took a pause and then continued. "I told him this morning before our ride that I can feel him no matter where he is. Even if he is away on a hunting trip or on the other side of the castle I can feel his love in my heart, it's usually warm and it squeezes my heart,' she told her with shining eyes. "And the closer he gets to me the stronger the feeling is. When he walks into the room, I don't have to see him," she admitted. "I know he is there because I can feel it."

Katherine was amazed, he had only heard one other friend describe this sort of thing to her and she loved her husband deeply despite everything.

"And now?" Katherine asked. "Can you feel him now?"

Marie nodded, "I always will, for the rest of my life, even when I am sent back to Scotland in disgrace for not securing the alliance." She sighed, "The love is gone, replaced by coldness and ice. You can't fake it to make it feel like this," she told her. "I know it was my actions that caused this, I should have been more careful, from now on I will put the real me in a cage and be the Queen my mother sent me here to be. The one that is dead inside and only performs out of duty. If I can survive this, that is what I will have to do,' she whispered.

"Close your eyes dear, try to get some rest and stop thinking about this. Time heals all wounds." She kissed her cheek, "I will come back to check on you soon."

Marie nodded, doing as asked, at least until the Queen swept out of her room. Then she snapped her eyes back open. She was so cold, she felt like she would never be warm again.

The Queen went straight to her son's door, expecting to open it and march right in and give him a piece of her mind but she found it locked. "Francis Valois, you have 30 seconds to unlock this door young man," she told him. It wasn't often she had to use his full name but she wasn't opposed to it when he had done wrong.

She watched the door open and her son's smiling face open it for her and she swept into the room looking around.

"Did you need something Mother?" he asked, his face still smiling.

"Yes, I do. You are going to explain yourself young man, why are you and Marie not down at the festival? It started over an hour ago."

His face fell, "I'm not going,' he told her.

"And why on earth not when Marie put so much work into it along with you?" she asked.

"For that exact reason, Marie has made her feelings abundantly clear," he explained.

"And what do you know of her feelings? Tell me."

"I'd rather not," he told her.

"Well that's just too bad," she told her son. "I've got a daughter in the next room who looks like death warmed over and who I may have to call a doctor for because she tells me that you, my son, no longer love her or want anything to do with her and she is talking about how she will be disgracefully be sent back to Scotland for not securing the alliance. So don't tell me you'd rather not do anything and start explaining yourself this instant," she ordered.

He gasped, "What? Is she okay?" he asked as he headed for the door.

"Stop!" she commanded. "Turn, you will not be seeing her until you have explained yourself to me."

Katherine had ignored his question for a reason and she went on, "I've been so proud that I raised a son who could love so deeply at such a young age but now I'm not so sure you've been telling me the truth for the last year because after one mistake, and a small one I might add, you've destroyed the best relationship that will ever happen to you in a matter of hours."

He looked down, "I told her to go to her festival with bash like she wanted, I expected her to do just that to spite me," he confessed.

"She hurt you with her words," his mother affirmed, "and surprise she didn't do what you expected. When has she ever? Do you think she hurt you on purpose, maliciously?"

He nodded, "and how have you come to this conclusion?"

"I just know," he told her defensively.

"Oh well that just makes this all better then." Katherine sighed asking herself why were males so difficult to reason with.

"So she hurt you," his mother said moving on, "and you wanted to hurt her back?"

"Yes, I know it was wrong but I was angry," he admitted.

"Francis, you don't know what it's like to not have a family that loves you. Marie has told me in the last year that the time she spent in Scotland she spent completely alone. She had a governess and that was it. She saw her mother once a month and she was never shown love. Her mother did not hug her, kiss her, or care for her at all."

Her son looked shocked and she let him be.

"The only love and affection that queen has been shown in her short life has been the year she has been with us and today, after one transgression that slipped out of her mouth when you two were teasing each other, and might I add that you started it, you took away your family from her, you took away your love, your attention and you chose not to give her forgiveness which even God can see at this moment."

Francis went over to stand by the window, "I was hurt and I let that hurt control me mother. I've never felt anything like that before and I didn't know how to deal with it."

Katherine stood up and went over to her son and knelt down, "you have a good heart my son, one that loves deeply but when you love someone as you do Marie, she will make mistakes and you will too. Don't forget she is 2 years younger than you. When you both make mistakes the only way to fix them is together, even when you are hurting. The only way through the pain is together."

Francis nodded, "I will remember that Mother."

"Good, Marie told me today that she can feel you wherever you go,' do you understand what this means?" she asked.

Francis nodded, "we have spoken of it," he admitted.

"Then how do you think she is faring?" the Queen asked sternly.

Francis felt awful now; he had really blown the whole situation out of proportion and could feel the shame washing over him.

"My son,' she said urgently, "loving someone means loving all of them, not just the likeable parts. You have to love all of her or none of her and that is only a choice you can make but it is a choice you have to make and stick to."

"I thought I loved all of her," he sat down beside his mother, 'but today when she came to apologize I pushed her away and wanted to hurt her the way she hurt me. I see now that there are parts of both of us that the other has not seen."

"There will be new parts of both you and Marie that will appear for years to come as you continue to grow up,' his mother encouraged. "You may see pieces of each other you don't like and other pieces that you do. If you push each other to be better, your relationship will be so strong!"

Francis thought about what his mother said. "May we go check on her now?" he asked impatiently.

"Have you heard a word I've said," she asked.

He nodded "I will remember all you have said," He promised, "but just now I have an urgent feeling to check on her. I don't know why," he said.

Katherine looked uncertain but then relented and they walked to Marie's room and she let him go inside alone confident he could fix the damage.