21- T.M.I.

Bulkhead, Han and BB-8 were watching something at the screen: a pod race. And just in that moment one of the vehicles went out of the circuit and broken in million pieces.

"Hooo yeah!" Han cheered.

"Ohhh!" Bulkhead said covering his eyes while BB-8 simply didn't want to see.

"Munch." Han yelled.

"Oh, I don't care what universe you are from, that's gotta hurt." The race announcer said to the audience.

"Would you mind lowering the volume?" Ratchet asked, since he was busy with his things.

"Hey Ratch, check out the pod race Han took me the last week." Bulk said.

"I compiled some highlights with my com-device." Han added pulling his device.

"Innocent high-speed vehicles racing and exploding for the pleasure of native spectators?" Ratchet asked before shuddering. "Blood sport."

"Yeah!" Han and Bulkhead cheered.

BB-8 also shuddered too.

"Yeah, I know how you feel, BB-8. You could be helping Optimus in the field right now." Ratchet remarked.

"Oh, he doesn't need my help to search for some ancient educational thing-a-ma-bob." Bulkhead scoffed.

"The thing-a-ma-bob to which you refer happens to be a Cybertronian data cylinder." Ratchet corrected before he pressed a button, changing the pod race program for the cylinder's schematics.

"Hey!" Han objected as Bulk groaned.

"And there is no telling what vast intelligence it may hold. During the golden age dozens of these cylinders were created, each containing the sum total of Cybertronian knowledge on any given subject." Ratchet explained, but Han was getting bored. "Stellar cartography, medicine, ancient mythology. When war broke out, the cylinders were hidden throughout the galaxies to keep them as far as possible from Decepticon reach. Detecting one signal here, on this galaxy, is the opportunity of a…"

"Aw, T.M.I., dude!" Han interrupted.

"Switch it back! I want to see the rest of the race!" Bulkhead demanded.

"Ratchet, Decepticon ambush! The cylinder is at risk, we require backup!" Optimus shouted suddenly through the com-link.

"Backup is what I'm built for." Bulkhead smirked before crushing his fists and went to the ground bridge.

"Go bend some fenders, Bulk." Han cheered while his Autobot guardian went through the portal.

"I have an important mission for you too, Han." Ratchet told him.

"Really?" Han asked interested, but his excitement disappeared when Ratchet handed him a mop. "Aw."

But seeing that both Ratchet and BB-8 were not looking at him, he took the chance to sneak inside the still open ground bridge.

Chorax

When Han came out of the bridge before it closed, he found himself inside a huge battle: Optimus was battling Knock Out, Arcee was battling Breakdown and Bumblebee and Cliffjumper were fighting a lot of Vehicons. The same as Bulkhead, who punched hard a Vehicon tank, and was about to fall over Han. But he ran and rolled out of the way and hid behind a rock, where he could saw the entire rumble. Optimus managed to block Knock Out's attacks before grabbing him by the neck and punching him hard, sending him flying backwards.

"Autobots, stand your ground. The artifact must not fall into enemy hands!" Optimus instructed before starting a fight with a Decepticon leaper.

Han saw the data cylinder right in front of him, and Arcee running right for it. But Knock Out tackled her before crushing her with his vehicle form before changing again and ran at the cylinder.

"Come to papa."

Fortunately, Bulkhead pushing him out of the way.

"Run to mommy."

But then Breakdown hit him from behind with both fists before grabbing his head.

"Say uncle. Say it!"

Seeing that, Han pulled out his blaster and fired at Breakdown's head, trying to hit his eyes. That made him distract enough so Bulkhead could counterattack. Next, he ran next to the cylinder before pulling out his com-device.

"Ratchet, come in."

"Han? This is an emergency channel, we need to keep it open for the Autobot… Wait, where are you?"

"Dude! I'm with the thing-a-ma-bob!"

"Thing-a-ma…The data cylinder?"

"Yes. Can you bridge it out of here?" Han asked.

"I'll reactivate arrival coordinates." Ratchet answered.

Han saw the ground bridge opening; the bad thing was that it was little far from him.

"Dude! Can you open it a little closer?"

"Supply coordinates." Ratchet asked.

"Um, 50 yards?"

"Precise coordinates!" Ratchet specified.

A close shot forced Han to cover. Next, he decided to try to move the cylinder himself, but it was too heavy for him, no matter how hard he pushed. So, he tried to put so distance and kicked it hard.

"One, two, three!"

The kick didn't move it either, but it made something else: the cylinder started to make a strange sound and the red opening started to glow.

"Whoa."

That caught some of the fighters' attention, including Bulkhead, who spotted his friend while he was still fighting Breakdown.

"Han?"

The cylinder was finishing its charge, so Han closed his eyes.

"No!" Bulkhead yelled running at him, but Breakdown hit him in the back, making him fall in front of the cylinder.

Next, a red beam of energy came out of the cylinder and hit Bulkhead's head, making him go down.

"Bulk!" Han yelled running next to him.

Knock Out took the chance and took the cylinder. "You really took one for the team, Bulkhead. My team."

With the artifact secured, Knock Out and Breakdown disappeared in a Decepticon ground bridge while the remaining Vehicons transformed into their aerial alt forms and flew away. The Autobots reunited with the two of them.

"Bulkhead, are you…?" Optimus started.

"Fine." Bulkhead interrupted. "Didn't even smart."

Han smiled to see his friend was fine. Moments later, the two of them were back at base. Bulkhead was being checked by Ratchet.

"I helped lose that thing, I wanna help find it. I need to get back in the field with Optimus." Bulkhead said getting up, only to be stopped by Ratchet.

"Dat dat, you're under my watch now. Optimus's orders. And running a full scan of your neural net would be a wiser use of your time." Ratchet declared.

Bulkhead pulled out a cable connected to his head. "Come on doc, there's nothing up there to scan."

"He seems fine to me." Han supported.

Ratchet groaned in defeat. "Well, if you insist on making yourself useful you can help Han tidy up." He said handing him the mop.

"Aw, he's mad with power." Han objected.

Bulkhead laughed. "That's Ratchet, no vector squared all right."

"What?" Han asked confused.

"Hey, we got any paint around here?" Bulkhead asked checking the mop.

"Art project? Cool." Han supported.

Meanwhile, inside the Nemesis, Megatron wasn't exactly happy when Knock Out and Breakdown brought him the cylinder.

"What do you mean its empty?" Megatron asked.

"Lord Megatron, these cylinders are not unlike batteries." Knock Out explained showing some cylinder's images. "The data is stored within them as a form of energy. It scanned fully charged, that's how we located it to begin with. But now…" Knock Out touched it a little, making sparks to come out.

"Dead battery." Breakdown summarized.

"Did you drop it, you one-eyed oaf?" Megatron accused.

"No master. I wasn't gonna touch the thing after it put a zap on Bulkhead."

"Hey, you think…" Knock Out realized.

"I know." Megatron agreed. "And I must find out what that vessel contained. When it comes to the secrets of the ancients, knowledge can be power."

Meanwhile, at the Autobot base…

"Seriously Ratch, you need to see what Bulkhead is painting in here." Han insisted.

"Yes. I'm sure one hasn't truly lived until one is beheld Bulkhead's take on "still life with lug nuts"." Ratchet said sarcastically as he followed Han.

"See? Did I tell you or what?" Han pointed.

"The differential of 1/3 cubed is RDRR." Bulkhead said as he painted some weird pictures with the mop.

"That is not art, it's science." Ratchet recognized.

Moments later, Ratchet was showing an image of Bulkhead's brain to everyone.

"This hotspot you see here it's information. Data. Living energy." Ratchet showed.

"Hold on. It's alive, it's on fire and it's in Bulkhead's brain?"

"Chill, Han. The data is only inhabiting a fraction of my brain, infinitesimal by standard neural net densities. Wait, how do I know all that?"

"Based on what we witnessed during our skirmish, the living data must have been programmed to eject when it sensed unauthorized access." Optimus deduced.

"A security measure." Ratchet supposed.

"It would have jettisoned heavenward, lost to the stars." Optimus continued.

"Except my fat engine block got in the way." Bulkhead came in.

"Every Con there made a grab for it, but the cylinder doesn't go off until Han touches it?" Cliff reminded.

"The cylinders originated from Cybertron's golden age, predating the Autobot-Decepticon division." Ratchet pointed.

"So it wouldn't consider any native of Cybertron to be a threat." Optimus theorized.

"Only alien life forms. Such as humans or any similar species." Ratchet deduced.

"(And what about Bulkhead's paintings?)"

"Are we staring a genius or gibberish?" Arcee asked.

"I do not wish to falsely rally anyone's hopes, but these equations appear to be the formula for a synthetic energon." Ratchet declared.

"(Really? That's great!)"

"Whoa. We hit the motherload?!" Arcee asked excited.

"Han, do you understand what this means?" Bulkhead asked him.

"Mm…"

"Energon provides our fuel, our ammo, our life force. With the natural stuff in such short supply here on this galaxy this could solve a whole lot of problems." Bulkhead explained.

"Such as providing us with the edge we need to turn the tide of this war." Optimus said.

"Or hanging us the key to revitalizing Cybertron." Ratchet added.

"We got the goods and all Megatron got was an empty bucket." Cliff said.

"How often do I get to use my noggin to save the day?" Bulkhead asked ironically.

Bulkhead continued painting the synthetic energon formula in some metal murals the Autobots put him to paint.

"Aren't you done yet?" Han asked impatiently.

"Got to admit: it's weird seeing Bulkhead in brainiac mode." Arcee confessed.

"(I never expected to see him as a smart Bot.)"

Once Bulkhead finished fulling the mural with equations, Arcee took it.

"Break time. How about some target practice challenge?" Han suggested, but Bulkhead simply continued painting as he mumbled the equation. "Aw."

"Got another round free to log, Ratchet!" Arcee announced.

But Ratchet was busy with Optimus in another issue.

"This is Bulkhead's neural net as you saw it earlier." Ratchet showed on the screen. "This scan was recorded just minutes ago."

The image showed the energy spreading across Bulkhead's brain.

"It is as I feared: the data seems to be actively and aggressively, rewriting Bulkhead's neural net. I had hoped he was purging the data, but he seems to be merely transcribing it as it…"

"Consumes his mind." Optimus finished.

"From all indications, by the time Bulkhead completes the formula his own thoughts, his memories…could be wiped clean." Ratchet theorized.

"But if we stopped him, goodbye synthetic energon." Cliff reminded.

"You assume we possess a means of stopping him. I don't exactly have instant access to the wisdom of the ancients." Ratchet pointed.

"I will not allow another one of our own to be sacrificed, no matter the cost." Optimus said.

"If the living data transmitted itself from the cylinder, perhaps we could somehow coax it back inside." Ratchet suggested.

"How are we supposed to get it back from the Decepticons?" Cliff asked.

"Megatron will bring it to us." Optimus answered.

Bulkhead was painting another set of equations when Han approached him.

"You want something interesting?" He said as he pulled out his blaster and fired it.

That caught Bulkhead's attention. "What is that?"

"My blaster. You love to test my aim."

"I'm trying to concentrate."

"Aw. You're starting to sound just like Ratchet."

"Who?"

That answer started to worry Han, that much that he went to Ratchet.

"Ratch, I think Bulk's losing his mind." Han told him, but the surprised look on his face made him realize. "You already know."

"Han, we didn't want to frighten you. But rest assured, Optimus has a plan." Ratchet reassured.

"Optimus isn't Bulkhead's doctor. I just need to know, when Bulk's done spitting out that formula, he'll go back to being old regular Bulkhead, right?"

Ratchet didn't answer, so Han closed his eyes in pain. Meanwhile Megatron was in the Nemesis's bridge when Knock Out and Breakdown approached him.

"Lord Megatron, we've detected a familiar energy profile." Knock Out announced.

"The data?" Megatron asked.

"Bulkhead must have left the shielding radius of their base. Breakdown and I will…"

"Fail me again?" Megatron interrupted.

Dagobah

Megatron and a squadron of Decepticon air troopers flew into a dry area in middle of the forest and changed to robot form before landing. And there were already some ones waiting.

"Optimus, you're certainly not the Autobot I expected to find here. But let me guess, you rigged a transponder to mimic the frequency of the data I seek."

"Megatron, I have a proposal."

The Decepticon soldiers aimed their weapons at Optimus, but Megatron ordered them to not fire.

"I'm…listening."

"Surrender the cylinder and I will return it to you fully restored." Optimus offered.

"This trinket right here?" Megatron said showing the cylinder at hand. "And pray tell: what trifles did it hold that you are so anxious to give away?"

"Accept my terms and you will find out."

Meanwhile, Han was trying to see if Bulkhead still remembered his past experiences.

"Do you remember the time you watched Wheeljack lob his only grenade into the Decepticon heat exchanger?"

"Who?" Bulkhead asked as he continued painting.

"Wheeljack, your best buddy." Han answered showing the picture he made of they two. "Besides me, of course."

But Bulkhead simply lowered his head.

"Do you even know who I am?"

"Of course. You are…" Bulkhead started, but wasn't able to finish.

Instead, he finished painting the equations of the mural, which Ratchet took once he did.

"Keep them coming, Bulkhead." Ratchet said leaving.

Then an idea came to Han: he typed some buttons of the main terminal, opening the ground bridge, and took the mop Bulkhead was using to paint.

"Come on, you wanna finish your formula, don't you?" Han encouraged near the portal.

Back with the Autobots and Decepticons…

"Do you accept my proposal?" Optimus asked.

"Lord Megatron." Knock Out called through the com-link.

"Give me a moment." Megatron requested as he walked away.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Knock Out asked.

"It's complicated."

"Well, Breakdown and I may have located the bogey, fully charged."

"Proceed." Megatron authorized.

"Just one hitch: we don't have the cylinder."

"Then bring me the head of Bulkhead."

Malastare

Han used the ground bridge to bring Bulkhead to the stadium where they saw that pod race.

"Look, you love pod races. Remember when we snuck in here after the race last week?" Han asked.

"Mass times the fusion rate square is constant." Bulkhead simply said as he continued painting on a wall.

"Is any of this ringing a bell?" Han asked.

"Bell curve? No no no, that wouldn't factor in."

"How about our Sunday morning dune bashings? Listen the usual cantina music? Helping me with my homework? Ah, trick question. You know I don't do homework. Don't you?"

Bulkhead didn't listen.

"Okay, forget the past. Starting now we can make new memories." Han proposed.

Bulkhead continued speaking the formula as he painted it. Seeing that his friend was not even trying to listen, Han started to feel sad.

"Bulkhead, I know somewhere inside you always remember me. And I just want you to know I'll never forget you." Han expressed hugging Bulkhead's foot.

"Booo hooo! I'm shedding lubricant!" A voice said sarcastically.

Han saw Breakdown and Knock Out at the other side of the stadium. Even knowing he couldn't defeat them alone; Han had his blaster ready.

"Follow me right now, or these guys are gonna…steal the formula!" Han called.

That really caught Bulkhead's attention. "My equations."

"Come on, come on! Go ahead, I cover you!" Han signaled as he started firing at the Cons.

"Hey, watch it! That's not a toy!" Knock Out yelled as he and Breakdown covered their eyes.

"Be careful. That kid knows how to use it." Breakdown warned.

Once Bulkhead ran to where Han pointed, he went with him.

"Not like Bulkhead to run from a fight." Breakdown remarked before he and Knock Out jumped into the stadium.

"I'm afraid our friend has had a little too much to think." Knock Out deduced before contacting with his leader. "Lord Megatron, we are good."

"Optimus, upon careful consideration, if you want the cylinder, you'll have to take it." Megatron answered.

That was the signal for the Decepticon soldiers to attack the Autobots, who fired their weapons. At the same time, Knock Out and Breakdown reached to where the race pods were storage.

"Okay then, fun and games." Knock Out said as he and Breakdown separated and started to look for them. "Come out, come out, wherever you are."

Han was hidden next to Bulkhead, who was in his walker form. He was trying to ask for help, but he was unable.

"Urg, the Cons are scrambling the signal."

"If the trisector of the polygon is an integral of the subset." Bulkhead suddenly said.

"Shhh, quiet. And whatever you do, keep still. I'm gonna see if I can get far enough to call for backup."

Han moved between the race pods, trying to remain hidden from the two Decepticons. Knock Out looked under the pods in search of Han, but he managed to hidden himself in its below part. Breakdown, instead, was hitting the vehicles with his hammer, seeing if they reacted, or only for fun.

"Bulkhead, are you in there?" Breakdown asked crashing another vehicle with his finger before using his hammer.

Breakdown spotted Han when he sneaked under the vehicles again, so he went after him. He grabbed the vehicle he though he will find him and threw it away, but he found anything.

"Breakdown, forget the human. Games are only fun to play when you're winning." Knock Out said as he activated the scanner for a better search.

Han was still trying to get a signal, but Knock Out found Bulkhead first when he looked that his scanner beeped faster when he spotted near a walker.

"I think I'm warm." Knock Out saw.

Seeing he found him, Bulkhead changed to robot form.

"Ian three divided by the square-root of the propulsion factor equals." He said as he used the mop on Knock Out's chest, leaving a drawing.

"You…painted…my paintjob! Prepare for surgery!" Knock Out declared mad.

Then, Breakdown ran to Bulkhead and punched him hard on the face, knocking him out. Han saw when Knock Out grabbed Bulkhead's neck and changed his hand for a buzz saw.

"Heads, you lose." Knock Out declared as he was about to cut his head off.

"No!"

Optimus and the Autobots managed to take down all the Decepticon soldiers.

"Well, in that case, no one gets it." Megatron said as he crushed and dropped its remains.

Next, he changed to vehicle form and flew away.

"Optimus, Bulkhead and Han have abandoned base. I have their ground bridge coordinates." Ratchet called.

"Bridge us back, immediately."

Decided to stop them, Han fired his blaster at Knock Out while he ran at him, but almost there he slipped and hit Bulkhead, which made him react the same as the cylinder. Next, Bulkhead's optics turned red and fired two energy beams to the sky.

"Not again!" Breakdown said alarmed.

"Get down!" Knock Out advised.

"I did it again?" Han asked to himself.

Once the beams were no more, Han walked to Bulkhead worried.

"Bulkhead?"

Knock Out scanned Bulkhead with his scanner. "Dead battery. Megatron will peel our paint for losing that data."

"So we're gonna have to peel you." Breakdown said to Han as Knock Out pulled out his buzz saw.

Han readied his blaster, but he didn't have too, because a ground bridge appeared behind them and the rest of the Autobots came through it.

"Or peel out of here." Knock Out corrected.

Breakdown smashed a wall before he and Knock Out changed to vehicle form and left. Once they were gone, the Autobots could see Han was crying on Bulkhead.

"Bulkhead."

The Autobots took Bulkhead back to base, where Ratchet ran another read of his brain.

"The data has been fully expelled, but Bulkhead remains completely unresponsive." Ratchet analyzed.

"Because the energy took Bulkhead's mind with it. Heavenward, lost to the stars. It's my fault you'll never know the rest of the formula, and it's my fault Bulkhead's gone forever." Han said sobbing.

"Han, your quick thinking prevented the formula from falling into Decepticon hands." Optimus comforted.

"If anyone would have backed that play its Bulkhead." Cliff added.

"It's simply too early to know the extent of his condition. Something as simple as a familiar sight, or smell, perhaps even a sound could trigger Bulkhead's awakening." Ratchet informed.

By hearing that, Han thought of something that could help Bulkhead wake up. He simply pulled out his blaster and fired. The sound echoed throughout the base as Han looked over to Bulkhead, still unconscious. He hung his head sadly, when suddenly the terminal started to register some activity as Bulkhead started to open his eyes slowly and groan, waking up.

"Bulkhead?" Han called.

"Did anyone see it? How long was the distance? How big was the target? How many hits did it take to fall?" Bulkhead started to ask before looking at his friend. "Han."

That made him smile, his big and special friend was back.