WARNING: Chapter 17 - Queen of Slaves was also posted today. Careful not to skip.
"I always got the sense that if somebody else had gone into that World Between Worlds, they would have experienced something completely different. They would have heard different voices echoing, the portals would have been different, so it's all about what you bring into it and what your experiences are and what your connections are."
―Henry Gilroy, a screenwriter of the Clone Wars
Chapter 18 - Worlds Between
When the dream started he felt as if he stood in the centre, the centre of all things, of the Force itself.
Before him stood Master Qui-Gon Jinn.
"Master?"
"Anakin," Qui-Gon said sadly, "I failed you and Obi-Wan."
"You died," Anakin said, "That's not your fault, it was Darth Maul's."
Qui-Gon folded his arms in his sleeves, "It was my own arrogance that killed me. I knew what he was, and I thought I could handle him. I was wrong. I thought Obi-Wan could have been your Master, and I was wrong about that too. He wasn't ready, and I left him grieving."
"Obi-Wan was a great Master!"
"He is your friend," Qui-Gon corrected, "and your brother. He loves you deeply, but Obi-Wan, despite being a great Jedi, a great man, never earned your respect."
Anakin felt anger wash over him, he was Qui-Gon, the man who separated him from his mother and then abandoned him and Obi-Wan both supposed to understand how he felt. "I respect Obi-Wan! I always have! I would do whatever it took to earn his respect in turn!"
"You resent him," Qui-Gon said. "In many ways, you are each other's opposites, more so than even I and Obi-Wan were. It makes you fantastic partners, but the things that came easily to you, came difficult to him, as the things that you struggled with came naturally to Obi-Wan. The things we struggle with and overcome are what we are best at helping others through. It is what made it so hard for him to be your Master. "
Irritation rose in Anakin, the familiar rebuke of Jedi Masters not something he had missed over the years in his near isolation. "That doesn't mean I don't respect him."
Qui-Gon sighed, "If things had progressed the normal course after my death, had the Force not interceded and replaced you in this time stream, you would have betrayed Obi-Wan. You would have turned on him, and all the Jedi, as my Master did."
"Never!" Anakin roared, "I would never become one of the Sith!"
"Not even to save your wife?" Qui-Gon asked, "Or your unborn children?"
Anakin thought of Padme, of Luke and Leia and his heart felt like it was being ripped out. "No," he said, tears falling down his face, "No, I wouldn't because becoming a Sith wouldn't help them."
Qui-Gon raised a brow, "Are you so sure of that, young Padawan?"
Anakin gritted his teeth, the last six years in this hell, of being utterly alone, of trying to keep the fragile balance between Light and Dark had taught him some things, "Only the Sith deal in absolutes. The Dark Side is…" he shook his head, "It corrupts. It isn't that a Sith couldn't love as the Jedi teach, it's their selfishness. As a Sith, I might try to save Padme, and maybe something in the Dark Side could help, but not if I surrendered myself to it entirely. I would lose sight of those I love and might end up being the one who hurts them. I might regret it afterwards, but it would be too late."
Anakin had seen that in this place, time and time again.
Qui-Gon nodded, "And what do you think about staying in the absolute Light? Isn't that just as dangerous?"
"I mean if we weren't human, sure. But anyone who thinks the Force is wholly Dark or wholly Light is fooling themselves. A Force sensitive deals in both, both live inside of us."
"But the Jedi embrace only the Light," Qui-Gon pushed.
"Pretty to think so," Anakin said, crossing his own arms, "But it's actually much more complex than that. The Light is selfless, but most species, humans included, are selfish creatures, we have to be, we are individuals and that is how we view the world. So channelling the Light, in some ways, goes against our nature. It is why we must work at it to be Jedi. Really, the only danger to using the Light side, on a spiritual level, is accidentally getting ourselves killed defending someone else."
Qui-Gon smiled, "Your isolation has taught you much."
"Thanks," Anakin said dryly.
"But if you had listened to Obi-Wan, you would have come to this same understanding years ago."
That hit Anakin like a slap across the face. Qui-Gon wasn't wrong. Anakin had spent more time meditating than he ever had before in his entire life. Mostly out of sheer boredom, considering he had neither his lightsaber or anything to build or work on mechanically. So yes, Master Kenobi's words of wisdom had begun to resurface, their meaning illustrated before him with every rise and fall of day and night in this forsaken world he was trapped in.
"Did you come back from the dead just to nag me?" Anakin asked.
Qui-Gon laughed, "That would certainly amuse Obi-Wan, but no, I came here to give you a warning."
Anakin eyed him warily. They were standing in space, the dark surrounding them pin-pricked with distant stars and planets, as well as little orbs of light glittering a bit closer that were neither, illuminating Qui-Gon's face.
"What warning and where are we?"
"Where you found yourself, you have already discovered. It is the powers of where you are that you have yet to completely unravel."
"Master Jinn," Anakin pleaded, "Can you please speak plainly?"
"Luke Skywalker has changed much in the world, the Force has put him there to accomplish this. But it has yet to be cemented."
"What do you mean, cemented?"
"You have the power to go back."
"What?" he asked, "You mean to my own body?"
"Yes, you are the Chosen One, Anakin. You have the power to go back, right this moment, to the exact moment the Force pulled you from, and all that you have experienced, these past years you have been here, will be less than a dream."
"Then why did this happen to me in the first place!?" Anakin demanded. "Why did I have to go through all of this, just to forget it?"
"Because united the Dark and the Light could accomplish something else; true balance in the Force. You and your children with knowledge of what the past could have been, of what the future might have been, could bring such peace to the galaxy that has never been seen before."
Anakin shook his head, "Do you have any idea what you're talking about? The Dark and the Light don't unite, they don't agree on anything."
"They love one another, no?"
"Yeah, but that doesn't stop them from destroying everything."
"But think of what they could build together."
"It's not possible, Qui-Gon."
The Jedi Master sighed, "You sound like Yoda."
"Hey, that isn't fair," Anakin said, then quipped, "But if sound like Yoda, wish me to, you do, I can."
Qui-Gon actually rolled his eyes, "This is serious, Anakin."
"I want to go back to my own life. You came to me tonight because I was starting to figure this world out, didn't you?"
"Yes, but I must urge you to be patient. Obi-Wan will find you."
"It has been six years!"
"Time moves slower for them, and if you stay, if you can join the Light and the Dark, then everything you and Luke have done will be rewarded. The Force, the galaxy, and even the timeline, will be brought into balance."
"Luke hasn't been born yet," Anakin stated, then faltered, "He hasn't, has he?" Force help him, Padme couldn't have gone through all of that without him. The thought alone made him more certain that when he woke up, the first thing he would try to do was return to the moment he had lost. So what if he forgot the last six years, he hadn't enjoyed them anyway.
Did Padme even know he was still alive?
"Anakin," Qui-Gon warned, "please heed me, do not go back. The Force brought you here for a reason. The timeline was disrupted for a reason."
He squared his feet, "Are you really telling me that the galaxy will have been better off without me?"
"For the years of your absence? Yes. For your years bringing order to the Force where you currently are? Yes. But without you entirely? No, Anakin. Without you, the Sith would have corrupted all hope in the galaxy for thousands upon thousands of years to come."
"I hate the Sith," Anakin snarled.
Qui-Gon smiled, "Is that an absolute?"
"Was that your warning?" Anakin countered, "Be a good boy, stay put in exile and everything will work out?"
"No, my warning is threefold. Firstly, never believe you are incapable of falling to the Darkness. Secondly, if you go back to what you wish to be your present, you will fail, and it will be your son who completes the prophecy, not you."
It was Anakin's turn to roll his eyes. Stupid prophecy. "And what is your third warning?"
"That you will suffer from the choices you made in your would-be future whether you choose to allow them to come to pass or not."
"You're just talking in riddles now, worse than Yoda even."
Qui-Gon sighed, "Luke and Leia exist within the Force. They will not need to be born to exist, because they are your children, and you were conceived from the Force itself. You are their Father."
Anakin gritted his teeth, "I and my children are human."
"Yes, one day you will die human deaths, this is true. But they exist, Anakin, as you exist. And you will find redeeming yourself in their eyes far more difficult than any other challenge you have ever faced."
Anakin threw up his hands, "Redeem myself!? I haven't done anything wrong."
"Redemption for what you would have done, for what you would have become."
Anakin was beyond annoyed, "Why?"
"Because when I brought you to the Jedi Temple you were afraid and you never overcame it."
"I am not afraid of the Jedi Temple or the Jedi. I am a Jedi, Qui-Gon."
The long haired wizard shook his head and went on, "You were angry as a Padawan. You perceived your differences as not belonging. You were angry with Obi-Wan for not understanding you, and angrier still because when he told you that you were not ready to advance, that you needed to learn patience, he was right."
"He was wrong," Anakin growled, "I was ready to be knighted, I was stronger than-"
"Strength is not the power one has but the control one has over themselves," Qui-Gon spoke over him. "Strength is being able to confront your weaknesses, understanding your own limits. Bravery is not the absence of fear, Padawan, bravery is not being ruled by it."
"And now you think, I'm not brave, great," Anakin snapped, "just perfect. You really are Obi-Wan's Master." Anakin knew the words were bitter, but Obi-Wan's reprimands were echoing about him and it hurt.
He wanted Obi-Wan to see the best in him.
"Obi-Wan has always seen the best in you," Qui-Gon spoke as if glimpsing his thoughts, "It's why he pushed you so hard, it's why he stood up to the Council time and time again."
"Obi-Wan never stood up for me in front of the Council."
Qui-Gon laughed, "Oh, Anakin, Anakin. It is true that Obi-Wan can be very rigid in his rule abiding ways. Force knows, I wasn't. Obi-Wan once went behind my back when I ignored the Council's instructions to inform them of my misdeeds."
Anakin scrunched his nose, "Sounds like him."
"But for you, Anakin, Obi-Wan has gone toe-to-toe with Master Mace Windu on more than one occasion."
Anakin stared down at his feet, he hadn't known that. Looking down at his feet, however, gave him vertigo as he wasn't standing on anything despite the solidness beneath his feet.
Qui-Gon put his hand on his shoulder as he had when he was a child. Anakin looked up at the man who could have been his father in another life, a man he never would have doubted if he had but lived. "You hate your Master."
Anakin jerked back from him, "I could never hate Obi-Wan."
"But a part of you does, because a part of you hates the Jedi. And Obi-Wan will always be a Jedi. Which means you must loathe him."
"That isn't true."
"You are angry that Obi-Wan didn't advise you to rush to your mother's side. You are angry with the Jedi for not allowing you to have a public relationship with the woman you love and remain a Knight. And your anger will only grow when Ahsoka leaves the Order and you are denied the rank of Master."
"Ahsoka leaves the Temple?" Anakin gasped.
"Yes," Qui-Gon said dryly, "Ahsoka, your Padawan, whose fate you have not asked after."
Anakin glowered at him, "Ahsoka is a part of the reason I want to return to my time."
"To spare her from Obi-Wan's teachings?" Qui-Gon dug.
Had Qui-Gon been this cruel in life? So bull headed and unforgiving about others' emotions?
"Why are you being like this?" Anakin asked, "And what happens to Ahsoka, why would she leave the Jedi Order?"
"She was framed for an attack on the Temple and only you and Obi-Wan believed her innocence. The Council was going to send her to prison but you found the true culprit. The Council," and here Qui-Gon did sound bitter himself, "didn't apologize, and Ahsoka, despite being welcomed back; left."
"And Obi-Wan stood for this?" Anakin asked, thinking that his old Master didn't deserve her.
"It's a Council, Anakin, he argued in private but was outvoted."
"He shouldn't have stood for it."
Qui-Gon smiled, "Perhaps, but at least he didn't try to kill her."
Anakin frowned at him, "The rest of the Council tries to kill Ahsoka?"
"No, you do."
Anakin gaped at the man, "No! I would be the person to kill anyone who tried to hurt her!"
"This is my warning, Anakin, a warning I give because Luke and Leia will know you as what your fear, anger, and hate led you to become. You will suffer for it, and I wish I could spare you this. It was my failures that set you on this path, it was my death that left you and Obi-Wan alone to handle a crumbling galaxy, but you are no longer alone. Your daughter and son… the Force needs them, as it needs you. It needs the three of you to know both the Light and Dark. It is the only way to bring true balance to the Force."
Anakin crossed his arms, "I will not, and did not, in any reality, fall to the Dark Side."
Qui-Gon raised a brow, "So the village you slaughtered after your mother's death, that never happened?"
Anakin glowered at him, "They deserved it."
Qui-Gon sighed, pulling over a floating light as if plucking a lantern from midair, "A warning, Anakin Skywalker, I leave you with a warning. This future you can stop if you wait for Obi-Wan, but you must face your fears or you will never be able to overcome them."
The Jedi Master disappeared in a shimmer of blue light and the lantern glow he had been holding grew to the size of a mirror, like a window into another world.
Beyond the mirror, there was a dark chamber room with intricate patterns of white laced on the floor and ceiling, lit by red light and purple lightning from the centre of the room.
A man dressed and helmed in black wielded a red saber against a young Padawan.
"I don't fear you!" The kid said with admirable grit.
"Then you will die braver than most," the monster said, attacking the young Jedi.
The kid didn't stand a chance against the Sith. And he looked up at his attacker with visible terror, cradling his arm. Anakin could tell if the Sith had caught him with his blade or if blows were simply powerful enough to cause injury.
The Sith spoke, his breaths audible through his breathing apparatus, "Perhaps I was wrong."
"It wouldn't be the first time."
Anakin looked behind the Sith and saw an older Ahsoka. She had grown tall, her Montrals were an impressive crown about her head.
The Sith turned to her, "It was foretold that you would be here. Our long-awaited meeting has come at last."
"I'm glad I gave you something to look forward to," Snips snipped.
Anakin smiled, "That's my Padawan."
"We need not be adversaries. The Emperor will show you mercy if you tell me where the remaining Jedi can be found."
Emperor? Anakin wondered.
"There are no Jedi. You and your Inquisitors have seen to that," Ahsoka retorted.
The Jedi were gone!? His hatred for this black figure grew exponentially with every passing moment.
"Perhaps this child will confess what you will not," the Sith said, looking down at the injured kid who inched backwards on the ground.
"You're an asshole," Anakin told the cape wearing bastard who couldn't hear him.
"I was beginning to believe I knew who you were behind that mask, but it's impossible," Ahsoka said, her voice certain, "My master could never be as vile as you."
"Wait, what?" Anakin asked, "You thought this piece of bantha shit was me? Come on, Snips, you know me bett-"
The Sith kept speaking, "Anakin Skywalker was weak. I destroyed him."
"Like hell you did!" Anakin roared, he couldn't have been killed by this tool.
"Then I will avenge his death," Ahsoka said darkly.
"Revenge is not the Jedi way," he taunted.
"I am no Jedi," Ahsoka said with sharpened teeth bared, activating her lightsabers.
Two sleek white blades.
Anakin smirked, he had the coolest Padawan in Jedi history.
What followed was one of the most impressive lightsaber duels Anakin had ever witnessed. This Sith could have taken Dooku and Ventress easily, and Ahsoka was matching him, until she didn't.
When she fell off the side of the building, Anakin bellowed her name, "Ahsoka!"
She wasn't dead, he could see her breathing, and he knew that she had survived worse.
"Get up, Snips," Anakin told her, "Come on, you can take this guy. He's nothing compared to you. Nothing."
She got up.
Anakin whooped, "Yes! Come on, Snips, make me and Obi-Wan proud! We are here for you, even if we are dead. The Force will always be with you and so will we."
His view followed her, as she ran at the Sith. Two streaks of white at her side.
Her adversary turned, raising his red saber to deflect hers, but he had been arrogant, slow. Confident he could take anyone.
But he couldn't take Ahsoka.
She leaped at him and he grunted as they both went down, her shooting bodily over the Sith's head.
"Ahsoka! Come on, hurry!" the Jedi Padawan yelled.
"Get up! Go! Snips, what are you doing?" Anakin asked, furious and unable to reach her. Where was the energetic Padawan who was kept down unless she was literally running out of air?
"Ahsoka," the Sith said, he was getting up, his breathing harsh. One eye revealed, an ugly Sith yellow and a scared brow.
Anakin went still as he watched.
This is my warning.
"Ahsoka," the Sith said in a familiar voice.
"Anakin," Ahsoka breathed, her expression full of pain and remorse, and then stubbornness stole over her features. Foolish, Beskar steel, determination, "I won't leave you. Not this time."
The two figures stared at each other as Anakin watched, a helpless bystander to this impossible turn of events. "Ahsoka," Anakin whispered, "Kill him or run, but don't let him kill you. I-" Anakin fisted his hands, "I would rather you kill me, I would rather be dead than become that."
But Ahsoka didn't run, that's not how Anakin had taught her to be a warrior.
The Sith ignited his saber, "Then you will die."
Anakin Skywalker woke screaming.
Afraid, for his Padawan and the people he loved.
Angry, at how helpless he felt to not be able to act now.
Hating, what he was capable of becoming.
Suffering, because Qui-Gon told him the only way to stop this future was to wait for Obi-Wan.
Anakin wept, tears tangling in his Force-forsaken beard. Desperately, he tried to get the look on Ahsoka's face as it was confirmed exactly who was under that mask out of his mind.
He continued to weep, knowing that if that future was true, that if this vision had been real, then he had become what he most hated. He had betrayed everyone he had ever loved, ever known, and for what?
You must face your fears or you will never be able to overcome them.
When Anakin next looked in a mirror, all he could see was that hideous mask, broken by Ahsoka's strength, revealing the monster beneath.
It wasn't something Anakin was ready to face, it wasn't something he was willing to admit even possible… that he could become that soulless creature.
He had never been more afraid in his life, afraid of his own failings, his own capabilities, and he didn't have the slightest clue how to handle it.
So he did what any reasonable person would do, he waited for Obi-Wan to find him.
AN: That's the last Force vision/dream sequence and I promise it's all going to make some sense quite soon. Thoughts, ideas, owls, or feedback on this or the other chapter, pretty, pretty please?