Chapter Nineteen

On the Road

We were heading out today. I had given Hawke a camera – as promised – as well as extra film.

I skipped over to the Cage that held Sten, "You are not one of my captors… I will not amuse you any more than I have the other humans. Leave me in peace." Sten was 7 fucking feet tall with grey skin, dark purple eyes, and white hair braided into cornrows and no horns… he did look intimidating and his eyes looked stern. My short ass was barely eye-level with his waist as I thought.

He then seemed to look at me closer, "I have not seen that hair and eye color on a human before."

I gave a smirk, "Maraas shokra, Sten of the Beresaad. Annam Esaam Qun," I nodded my head.

"Shanedan, to sate my curiosity," I will hear you.

I smiled, "I travel with and lead a small group of Grey Wardens. As they are sworn to end the blight, we need skilled help. I can think of no finer warrior than a Sten."

He looked me over, "And the hair and eyes? Are you a half-blood?"

"Not at all – I am descended from the original Kossith. My family is mostly human in genetic make-up, but I do carry the blood of the Vane family who at one point in time were Kossith. You know – I think you may be descended from my family line too. Your eyes are the color unique to my family. Of course, this means I come from the homeland…"

His face was impassive, but I saw the interest in his eyes, "How – we are taught that…?"

"Isn't it obvious? Koslun left us all and went looking for a new path. He succeeded, and that is all that matters. Regardless, I do need skilled help. How about a challenge? I will fight you – no weapons – and if I win, you come with me and submit to my leadership?"

He looked interested, "I will accept. But if you lose, your people leave me to my fate."

I nodded and motioned to Alistair.

"You already had the key?"

I chuckled, "You understand how it is, Sten. You allowed yourself to be put there, so you knew people would be distrustful. I decided to speak with you first for a few reasons. One, I needed to get your word – I know you have great honor and would keep your word once given. Two, my companions needed to see for themselves that you are not a monster. You know how important it is to have the confidence of those you lead – mutiny is so troublesome."

He nodded. Once he was out, our fight began. I used Krav Maga – stunning both him and my mages with these forms. He was strong – stronger than any opponent I had ever faced – but Krav Maga was a strong combat force.

When he pinned me, I was able to flip us; when he thought he had me by the neck, I was able to turn the tables. I hit acupuncture points and wasn't above resorting to soft tissue targets.

He reached out to grab me again, and I used one hand to deflect while using the other to break his arm.

In fact, I had broken several bones by using his weight against him – a judo technique. Mixing the arts became a must – he was stronger than I had anticipated even after 3 weeks of starvation. I saw Hawkes' family – many had come to watch once the ruckus reached them. I noticed the Revered Mother staring in horror, but Ser Bryant was in awe.

I dropped to my back and kicked out – stunning Sten as both feet connected with his hips.

I then moved to flip back onto my feet and did a sweep – the off-balance from the kick made the sweep a success. I moved onto his chest and held his hands down – this was the best work-out I had gotten in years. I smiled down at him, "Submit."

He looked highly impressed, "Victory is yours – I submit."

I got up and whistled, "Lona – he has 32 broken bones that need healing and I have 2 fractured ribs and broken finger. Hop to it, little rabbit." She hopped sarcastically but still healed us.

I heard Sten say, "Taarsidath-an Halsaam."

I smiled, "I'm flattered."

He nodded, "It was a good fight… you are worthy of being Basalit-an; with those moves and how soundly you won."

I chuckled, "We should make this a regular thing, Sten – I need the work-out more often."

"I would like to learn your fighting style."

"I'll think about it."

Hawke came rushing over, "Damn… are you okay?"

"I won, didn't I? Of course I'm fine. Sten is an excellent warrior – that I defeated him means he will follow my lead."

Sten stood up, "You are worthy of following. Let us move on."

I was about to not when Hawke said, "Wait – Val… will I see you again?"

I snorted, "You think you can get rid of me that easily? Of course you will – when you get to the point where you have to make a choice, choose Meeran. I'll see you after you meet Varric."

He looked confused, but nodded, "Whatever you say, sweetheart."

We continued on. After my display with Sten, the villagers didn't even try to stop us. I nodded my head to them and tossed a pouch. The leader caught it, "What… why?"

"The Grey Wardens are not as bad as Loghain said – and if I hadn't just beaten a Qunari into the ground you would have gone after us for that bounty. Not because you think us responsible, but because you need the money. So I offer 30 Sovereigns, feed your people and flee Lothering. The horde is coming."

The lead man nodded, "Yes, miss – thank you."

Sten looked at me, "Why?"

"They will spread the word that the Wardens are not only better than the lies, but that we are more formidable – do not attack. There will be fewer assassins for us to deal with that way."

He nodded, "A good plan…"

We heard Bodahn call out for help. When all the Darkspawn over there where dead, I studied the dwarf. Bodahn was 4'6 with light brown hair and green eyes. Sandal was 4'10 with platinum hair and blue eyes.

"Mighty timely arrival, my friends, I'm much obliged."

"It was a pleasure, Ser Dwarf," I bowed my head.

Morrigan snorted in disgust but Sten was watching me, "Name's Bodahn Feddic, Merchant and Entrepreneur. This here is my son, Sandal – say hello, my boy!"

"Hullo."

"Road's been mighty dangerous these days… mind if I ask what brings you out here? Perhaps we're going the same way…"

"Forgive me, Bodahn, but I travel with Grey Wardens and that might be a speck too much excitement for you."

"I recon you might be right about that… but it does explain a lot. I suppose… allow me to bid you farewell and good fortune then."

I chuckled, "Oh non-sense. Let us help you get your things back in order… I think I see something I'd like to buy from you anyway." Alistair, Elissa and Leliana instantly began moving forward to help.

Kallian, Theron and Alim went to corral Bodahns Druffalo. Solona, Duran and Natia began setting the wagon to rights.

We still had my Aravel and Kane to carry our stuff – which had impressed many people due to the having a horse.

I found what I was looking for and headed over to Bodahn the instant we were done. "These things … how much do you want for them?"

He looked over my choices. A doll that looked remarkably like Alistair (Morrigan), a spell book for entropic mages (Alim), a pink gemmed amulet that could help someone remember old memories (Wynne), 2 Dwarven beard flasks (Oghren and Duran), a jeweled hip flask (Natia), an Orlesian carved lute (Leliana), a grey warden hand puppet set (Alistair), a Qunari Prayers for the Dead book (Sten), a diamond shaped bottle of rare Antivan brandy (Zevran), a book written in Elvish and Common – translation book (Theron), a silver hair clip shaped like a bird (Solona), a belt made of Wyvern Hide (Kallian), a locket that could hold two pictures each (Elissa), and a great-sword.

"The sword alone is usually 120 silver, but… I'll sell you all 14 items for 2 gold pieces. A fair trade if you add in saving our lives and helping us set our things to rights."

"Are you sure? I don't mind paying full price…"

He laughed, "More than sure, My Lady."

He smiled and I rummaged in my pack for the coin pouch. I handed him the money and turned to Sten.

I had put most of the items in my bag for later, but I handed Sten the sword, "This for you… until we can reclaim your Asala." He nodded and accepted the sword.

As we walked, I made my rounds of gift giving.

Since I was still by Sten, I handed him the book.

He glanced at it and I saw surprise flash though his eyes, "Why?"

I smiled, "You were quoting a passage from it when I was approaching you in Lothering. I thought you might like it."

"I am impressed. You have my thanks."

I skipped over to Morrigan next. She looked suspicious. I handed her the doll and she looked at me in disbelief, "Why would I want this?"

"It looks remarkably like our Templar, no? You could use it as a voodoo doll."

She froze for a second before a sadistic grin lit her lips, "Indeed… this could be much fun to play with… I thank you."

"Hey… while I've got you here… I have just one question…"

"Speak it, I suppose."

"I want you to help me work on a fertility potion I invented – to increase the potency."

Interest lit her eyes, "Does it already work?"

"Does it…? Theron – birth rates in the Sabre Clan?" I called out.

"Ever since you taught Master Ilen that fertility potion recipe, people haven't stopped having children, Lethallan. The Sabre Clan is the most prosperous Elven Clan in years."

I looked at Morrigan who smirked, "I will work with you."

"Awesome! Thank you. Would you like Flemeths grimoire? The circle is kind of fucked six ways from Sunday right now so it'd be easy enough to grab in the chaos…"

She snorted, "I believe you already know the answer to that…"

I chuckled and shook my head before heading over to Alim, pushing the book into his hand with a wink. He laughed as I flitted over to my next target – Leliana.

"Leli, dear, I've something for you." I held out the lute and her eyes widened. "This is Orlesian made…" she breathed.

"It was one of the things I bought from Bodahn… I heard you talking about how you were a traveling minstrel – though yes, I already know the truth – and thought you might like it… I know you have such a lovely voice."

"You… you know the truth… then what do you believe of my vision?"

"I think it's true. You never would have sought us out without it and we do need you, sweetheart. I think everyone has something they are meant to do – even those we see as evil act in the way they were meant to. Arl Howe killed my family, but if he hadn't, Elissa wouldn't be here. Loghain abandon Cailan, but without that… well, I can't say for now."

"I feel a bit like a fraud, right now. You are a true seer, and here I am… only the one instance…"

I shook my head with a smile, "You don't want it; trust me. It's a curse and a gift wrapped in one. I can't change everything or I'll make it worse but I cannot stand by and allow certain things."

She flinched. "There are so many good things in the Makers world; how can I sit by…?"

I smiled, "You could not, and that is why you're here. The maker, just as any god, could never truly abandon his children, after all. The winds still blow, the sun still shines and the flowers still grow. If there were no god, no Maker, we could not say that. Besides, the Blight isn't from the maker – the chantry only added that to the Chant of Light during the Third Blight…"

Her jaw dropped, "Really?" she sounded so hopeful.

"Think about it this way, Leli. If the Maker had sent the Blight, would Grey Wardens exist? Who was it that gave the very first Wardens the idea and the way to do it? Could an agent of the Maker have been among them?" I smiled.

She nodded, "That does make sense… if he had abandoned us, then we would all truly be dead by now."

I pushed a locket at Lis and said, "Picture of mom and dad is on the right, and Fergus with his own family is on the left."

She opened it and let out a strangled sob, "Thank you… Maker, Val…"

I nodded and danced over to Duran and Natia.

I handed the two flasks over at once, "It's good ale – and the Flask was free with purchase so enjoy."

They didn't even have a chance to say anything as I headed to my next target; Solona. I pressed the hair clip into her hand and said, "I thought it would suit you." She smiled and I handed the belt to Kallian who was with her, "The color matches you so well!"

Theron was my next 'stop'. I pressed the book into her pack, much to his amusement. He asked, "What are you up to Lethallan?"

I chuckled, "I like making people happy!"

I twirled over to Alistair and handed him the puppet set.

He glanced at me with a smile that almost melted my heart. "You really know me, don't you?"

"Of course I do, you're my brother now." I beamed.

After we ate, I pulled Alistair aside. He gave me a confused look while Elissa watched us in confusion – my face was serious, so she was alert.

He looked me over, "Is everything okay?"

"Relax hun; I'm here about the others. One or more is going to have their first real Darkspawn nightmare tonight – close enough to dawn that we'll be on our way shortly after. Just… keep an ear out, okay? They don't know… and there's actually quite a bit they haven't been told yet. Like, the fact that it will now be difficult for them to have children, or even that the Darkspawn can sense you like you can sense them."

"How do you know…? Oh, right… stupid question."

"Will you help them…? I could tell them, but it would be better if it came from someone going through it, like they are…"

"Of course I'll help. And thank you, by the way. Not just about the stuff with Duncan… but I know you arranged it so that Barkspawn would be mine. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't know the truth about my parents or that Cailan knew about me… I wouldn't have this…" he motioned to the hoop in his ear.

I saw Elissa watching us so I rolled my eyes and shook my head, "Think nothing of it, Alistair. You deserved it; and so much more. You tried to protect us up in that damned tower."

He chuckled ruefully and said, "I would have done that…"

"For anyone – I know. We're lucky to have you, Alistair."

He smiled, "That's good."

I bit my lip – it was very soon for me to do this; and I hated myself for it, but it needed to be done.

"… A word of advice though – Everyone else in this world is looking out for their own self-interests, you should have a say in yours."

He sighed, "I'm beginning to see that, actually. I've been letting everyone else make my choices for me – my whole life. If I'm going to be king, I need to take a stand and think about myself as well as my people for a change… or I'm never going to be happy."

I nodded, "Just… don't do it because I'm saying it – do it because you want to."

"No – it makes sense. Loghain put himself to regent as soon as my brother died, Howe took the Teyrnir of Highever before your family was even cold, and Uldred took over the tower at a vulnerable time because it was vulnerable. Could you preserve something for me?"

I chuckled, "Don't pull it out – I can do it without seeing the rose. If you pull it out, Elissa may get the wrong idea."

He looked relieved, "Good call – thank you… I do have a question though."

"What is it?" I tilted my head. He laughed, "Maker – you look like a little Fennec Fox when you do that! Ahem, sorry… just… why are you pushing for Elissa and… me? You push quite hard, actually."

I shrugged, "Because it's a beautiful romance – my sister… she lost a guy she really liked. I think… I think she blames me, whether she realizes it or not. Gilmore was a great guy – not as great as you would be for her, but he was… sweet. I think she believes I could have saved him. And she'd be right, naturally – I could have saved him in that last moment. Knocked him out, brought him with us… but if I did that, I'd have to sacrifice Oren. I could only save one life for her that day – only one person she loved who was meant to die could live. It was a no-brainer for me. Save the pup. Rory lived a full enough life, Oren was a kid."

He flinched, "That… not a good option."

I shook my head, "No – it wasn't. I knew she didn't love him – it was a fleeting romance made more martyr than relationship by his early death. I don't think she realizes she wants me to suffer for Rorys' death."

He sighed and rubbed his face, "Maker… so you push her at me?"

"Because within two months you will grow to care for her – and she will care for you. You are a man who says he's awkward then turns around and spouts the smoothest pick-up lines this side of Thedas. You could trip on your cloak and turn it into a joke about something political. You can't come up with those one-liners if you're stupid, Alistair. You and her… you could be very happy. Solona and Leliana could be happy too. Theron and Zevran; Kallian and Natia; Alim and Morrigan… all could be happy. Elissa doesn't know that I may never have that. Cullen will likely turn me away after what happened at the tower and won't heal from it for a decade… by then; I may not be his type. And he's the only one I could have, too. I see all these romances unfold in the future – people I have yet to meet but know well falling in love with people I care about… Cullen would be my only option, Alistair – but I may not be his choice in the end. Maker, I already love him and I don't…"

I was crying silently at this point. I shook my head when he went to hug me, "Don't… I… ahem – point is, I like making people happy. You and Lis could be happy."

He looked upset, "You act like you don't deserve that same happiness, Valeria."

I shook my head, "I do – but it may not be in Fates' plans for me. For all I know, I could fuck up and die before finishing my mission – and honestly, that is the most likely outcome."

His voice broke a little, "Don't… please don't talk about dying. I couldn't… maker, please…"

I drew in a shaky breath, "I plan to not die. I find I enjoy living when I'm surrounded by so many people I adore. Sure, it hurts that we've lost people – my foster parents, my real parents, our brother, Duncan… but we have each other and that is what's important."

He nodded, "I… I'll keep an ear out for the nightmares tonight. But promise me you'll make it through this Blight – you're our leader; we need you."

I smiled, "I'll do my best. Oh – here, let me give you all that cheese I told you about. You can keep it in your own pack…"

He lit up as I moved cheese after cheese into his pack.

It was exactly as I predicted. Elissa woke with a shout, causing Sten and Leliana – the ones on duty – to tense and glance to me. I shook my head and that was all it took for the giant man to relax and go back to his watch.

Elissa was soon followed by several others. Most of them only woke up gasping and clutching their chests. I had made everyone sleep under the stars tonight for this reason.

"Bad dreams, huh?" Alistair asked sympathetically.

"It seemed so… real…" she panted. No doubt she was still coming off the adrenaline high.

I could see everyone was listening – they wanted to know too.

"Well it is real… sort of. See, part of being a grey warden is being able to hear the Darkspawn. That's what your dream was; hearing them. The Archdemon it… talks to the horde, and we feel it just as they do. That's why we know this is a real blight."

Theron cursed out, "The… was that the Dragon?"

"Well, I don't know if it really is a Dragon, but it sure looks like one… but yes, that would be the Archdemon. It takes a bit, but eventually you can block the dreams out. Some of the older Grey Wardens say they can kind of understand the Archdemon a bit… but I sure can't. Anyhow, when I heard you thrashing around, I thought I should tell you; it was scary for me at first too." I smiled at Alistair as Elissa relaxed.

I said, "Thank you, Alistair."

Alistair gave a wry smile, "That's what I'm here for; to deliver unpleasant news and witty one-liners! You're up now, right? Let's pull up camp and get a move on," Alistair stood from his bedroll and began packing his things up. I was done packing up before everyone else… I didn't use magic… much.

I began making breakfast while I hummed a tune. I jumped when Leliana placed a hand on my shoulder, "That tune sounds lovely… will you sing it for us?"

"If I can borrow your lute, I suppose I could…" she handed the lute over without a second question.

I attached a bell to my foot so that I could mimic the bell sounds in the song with each tap of my foot and began to strum out The Circle by Blackmores Night.

I've been here for a million years

Through the joy, through the tears

But when I am gone this will go on

And the circle starts again...

I've watched the mountains rise from dust

Saw the gold return to rust

I had cried when the oceans died

And the circle starts again...

I was thankful that I now possessed a wonderful range – I could hit lower soprano, alto and tenor. I couldn't hit bass or high soprano but I was happy enough.

"That was… wow. Where did you hear it?" Leliana asked and I watched as she strummed out the tune flawlessly.

"Feels like another life, I'll tell you that. I know quite a few of them, them."

"Will you teach me a few?"

"… I warn you, a good amount of them are… ahem… not suitable to young audiences." Leliana lit up, "You know my past, dearest. I have no qualms about a few… darker songs."

I snorted, "I don't doubt it, Leli; but while I have no modesty and will sing these songs at the top of my lungs for the Revered Mothers to scold me about, not everyone here is okay hearing that kind of thing; Alistair for an example. He is super innocent and don't get me started on Elissa…"

She giggled, "Just one so we can see how 'bad'?" I sighed, "If Alistair says yes."

Everyone turned to the man. He flushed and shot me an amused look, "What if I said yes just so I could hear you sing again?"

"Are you?"

"… Yes."

Elissa snorted. I took the Lute back and while the others ate, I sang Twiddle by Misbehavin' Maidens.

Oh you hear a lot of stories 'bout the sailors and their sport

About how every sailor has a girl in every port?

But if you added 2 and 2 you'd figure out right quick

It's just because the girls all have a lad on every ship

And it's Twiddle ee ai dee ai dee ai

Twiddle ee ai dee ei

It's often times a man will leave you broken with dismay

And it's Twiddle ee ai dee ai dee ai

Twiddle ee ai dee ei

Leliana and Aedan were laughing hard. Alistair was red and Sten was the one to say, "I do not understand."

Kallian snorted, "No surprise there, big guy. Look, even I know that experiencing pleasure can add to the fertility thing. Happier women seem to have more kids, no lie."

I nodded, "That's exactly it, too. But there is also the fact that some people can't experience attraction in those of the opposite gender. Solona prefers women. Alim prefers men though he really likes Morrigan. Some people can't experience sexual attraction at all. They may enter a relationship and never have sex. Some people love sex but can't form emotional attractions. Like the Qun, actually; Sex is good, but no love. Another thing is that if a female orgasms at the same time as or just before the male does, it helps to increase the chance of the woman getting pregnant; Just some food for thought, there."

"So we're going to the tower, but what exactly can we expect?" Elissa asked.

"As I told Alistair while we talked last night – Someone is being tortures as we sit here. We have to go to the tower first. Saving the mages will help us later more than just with the blight… we will need them for some kind of de-possession ritual… I don't know when, where or why, just that the boy we will save though that ritual is important to the future. So, Kinlock Hold on the Lake Calenhad Docks is our first stop."

"Right – Cullen…" Alim muttered. I flinched at the name.

I nodded, "Blood mages, demons… rip the flesh, tear the skin… make the Templars suffer – make everyone suffer…"

"Makers' Breath…" Theron looked sick. Kallian stood at once, "Let's go save him then – poor guy was so innocent that Alistair looked experienced – no way can he survive too long without help."

Elissa flinched but said, "He's one man – are we really going to storm the tower for one person?" Alistair shot her a horrified look – he was the kind of person who would absolutely do that knowing what Cullen meant to me. Besides, everyone knew I loved the man.

"Commander – save the world – Ben Hassrath has an agent helping – Cullen, Commander of the Forces… Leliana, spymaster… broken – so broken – must save the world, must help…"

"…Shit." Kallian said. "This man is supposed to help save the world after all this? And Leliana is going to help him?"

I nodded, "Commander Cullen Rutherford – Inquisition."

Leliana gasped, "Oh, Maker… the Inquisition?"

Sten interjected, "You said the Ben Hassrath will support him?"

I nodded again, "More like they will have a spy on the inside that happens to be helping the inquisition because of his close proximity to… yes. The Ben Hassrath agent will report and that report will make the Qun want to ally with the Inquisition for a time."

"Then we will save this man if I must die to do so. The Qun comes first." Sten said. I shrugged, "We will all live, don't worry about that. But for now, all I know is that we need to go to the Tower first."

We all began walking – it was going to be a long two week trip.