13/07/2020

So, I don't have loads and loads of time to write and I have a lot of music to practice, so I'm going to post every Monday and Thursday (promise!), occasionally an extra chapter here and there if I get complaints haha. I go back to school in September, so I can't promise regular updates then. But I'll try! Also if you like this, check out my other fic!

So this chapter contains some not very explicit child abuse (Because Sirius' parents are just messed up(and sorry I was in a bad mood lol)) so yeah, just thought I should let you know before you read /

Chapter 23 (Sirius Black)

Filthy Blood-Traitor

As soon as the front door closed, Sirius received a sharp smack round the face which made him stumble backwards against the wall. It stung like he had been pushed against a bunch of stinging-nettles.

"Mother I-" *SLAP* she hit him again and now his eyes started to water with pain.

"How DARE you!" Sirius brought his hands up to cover his face from another blow from Walburga. He tried to slip past her but she grabbed him roughly by the hair.

"HOW DARE YOU DISHONOUR THE FAMILY NAME! YOU PATHETIC *slap* LITTLE *slap* BLOOD TRAITOR!" and now Sirius fell to the floor with a painful kick to his shins.

"Stop it! Stop!" he panted. "Please!" He started to kneel and beg for it to stop. But this was only the beginning. Sirius' charming bravado that he had had during the year had been squashed and all he felt was dread and fear and pain, so much pain. But it would get worse, much worse. Walburga pulled him by the ear and shoved him towards the stairs.

"You stay in your room until your father gets back!" Sirius scrambled up the stairs so fast he tripped up one of the steps. When he got into his room, Regulus was there.

"Reg what are you-" he started, but his little brother was hugging him so tightly it knocked the wind out of him. When he pulled back, he noticed a lilac coloured bruise on Regulus' left cheek. Sirius brought a hand up to touch it, but Regulus flinched.

"It's nothing." Regulus said. "Tripped."

"The hell it is, he hit you didn't he, didn't he Reg. Tell me." Sirius hated every last bit of his father, and one day he was going to pay. "That bastard." he hissed, but Regulus just shook his head violently. He could see silvery tears starting to form at the corner of his brothers grey eyes, identical to his.

"It's okay Reg, you'll get through it. This is just going to be a small portion of your life, the rest of it will be absolutely brilliant, I promise you. I'll make sure of it." he kissed his brother on the forehead and guided him towards the door.

"I'm sorry." Regulus whispered as he left the room.

Sirius lay back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He brought a hand to his face and winced. Why didn't I go against the Sorting Hat, why didn't I just ask to be in Slytherin. Why did I mess around so much he thought to himself. He was petrified. His father was going to kill him surely. And what had Reg done to get that bruise, surely he wouldn't be stupid enough to stick up for me. It had started to get dark and Sirius almost wanted his Father to come back and punish him now, because the cold silence was terrible. But nobody came. Sirius curled up under his blankets and tried to sleep. It was impossible, he was just too scared. It was times like these that he hated the dark, not knowing what was in those murky shadows and certain objects making funny shapes on the walls. He wasn't sure if he should pretend to sleep so if his father came to get him, he might leave him alone until the next day, or if he should just wait. Although his father often stayed away days at a time, and never told anyone when he was leaving or coming back. After hours of mental debating, he finally fell asleep from exhaustion.

Saturday 1st July 1972

Sirius woke suddenly the next morning as his bedroom door slammed open.

"Get up boy!" bellowed his father, lunging at him and grabbing him by the arm. Sirius was dazed and couldn't quite comprehend what was going on. Then it clicked, he was in trouble, big trouble. He started to struggle and kick.

"No! Get off me! Get-" but Orion dragged him out of the room and to the study, where he locked the door behind him. Sirius' palms started to sweat as he saw the tough leather belt waiting for him on the edge of the desk. He started to tremble with fear at the devil in front of him.

"Please f-father, p-p-please, I'll-"

"Stop your whining boy! This has been coming to you for a long time. I've had too many letters about your disgusting behaviour at school and I can't let you get away with it this time." Sirius insides twisted as he accepted his fate. Orion grabbed the belt and proceeded with the beating.

By the time the belt came down on his back for the last time, Sirius was almost in tears. He had bit down on his lip so hard it had started to bleed and his knuckles were white. But he wouldn't let his father see him cry. Never. He was sent back to his room and wasn't given any food all day. His back was hot and sore, he could see the bruises starting to form in random striped shapes across his skin. He couldn't even sleep properly because it caused him too much pain to lie down. Sirius thought he was lucky. His father always warned him that other family's will use spells to discipline their children, and that he is getting it a lot lighter. His mother was always the one that tells his father to punish him, and she often says that maybe they should use spells abd curses. But they never had, not yet anyway.

As it started to get dark, there was a tap on the window. An owl with a letter flew in. He opened it.

Dear Sirius

How's everything. I hope your parents are treating you okay.

Ma said you'd be welcome to stay round for a week if you'd like? I got a new broomstick, Nimbus 1000, it's wicked fast! We can do some practice for Quidditch trials next year. You can have my old broom if you like. We'd love you to come.

Missing my partner in crime.

James

It was the only good thing that had happened that day, and it made sleeping just a little bit easier.

Sunday 2nd July 1972

Sirius woke early that morning to take a shower. The water seemed to burn the bruises on his back which was almost as worse as the beating itself. His face had a couple of pink blotches where his mother had hit him. He went down to breakfast where the rest of his family were.

"Good morning." he muttered and sat down. It was quiet, nobody spoke until after they had eaten. Regulus looked like a ghost had passed through him. As far as he knew, Regulus had always been the good brother. He rarely disobeyed them. Sometimes if Regulus had broken some expensive trinket or object, Sirius always took the blame for him. Even though the punishment was usually painful, he couldn't bare to see his little brother hurt. Now that he was at Hogwarts, he wasn't there to protect him.

"We're having a dinner party tomorrow evening. Sirius you'll be playing piano, I hope you've been practising at school instead of fooling around like some filthy Mudblood."

"Yes mother." the fact was, he had barely practised piano at all. He hated it. There wasn't many piano's at the school anyway, and the ones that were, were usually in use. The fear that disappeared had come back again. If he made mistakes his parents would surely be hard on him.

"Who is coming to dinner tomorrow Ma'am?" he asked subdued.

"Your aunt Druella, Uncle Cygnus, Bella, Narcissa and Uncle Alphard." she said coldly.

"What about Androme-"

"What did I say about asking questions boy!" bellowed his father, which made him shudder and flinch. Regulus dropped his fork.

"Sorry Sir." he muttered. Why wouldn't Andromeda come to dinner?"

He went to the drawing room to practice some piano, unfortunately his mother came with him. The ivory keys felt so foreign to him, it was like he had never played before. He pulled out some music and started to play. It was daunting with his mother standing over him, she had a ruler in her hand ready to whack his fingers if he played wrong notes.

He started to warm up with some scales then proceeded with the pieces at a slow pace.

"You're not playing fast enough Sirius."

"I'm trying my best."

"Well your best isn't good enough. Quicker."

He quickened the pace a little. Sirius was reasonably talented at music but always hated the piano because it was forced on him. At some point Sirius drifted off and started to think about school and how he hated being here. He didn't realise his hands were fumbling clumsily over the keys until his mother brought the ruler down on his knuckles.

"Ow!"

"You're not concentrating."

"I am!" she hit him with the ruler again.

"Don't answer back."

He felt like he had been sitting there for hours and was pleased to finally leave. His knuckles were slightly red from being hit a few times. He decided he was going to write back to James.

Dear James

I'm okay, Mother and Father aren't too happy with me but I'll survive. I've just finished practising piano, some cousins are coming round for dinner tomorrow and I've got to play for them. I hate piano, it's dull, well the music I have to play anyway. I once heard something called 'Jazz' when passing a Muggle cafè, wish I could try that.

I'd love to come round! I'll try and convince my parents and let you know. Can't wait to see the Nimbus.

From your highly charming and lovely friend,

Sirius

He signed the letter and sent it off with one of the owls. He went down for dinner a little more cheerful. His parents were talking about the news and other things when Sirius had an idea.

"Mother?"

"Yes." she said sneering.

"My f-friend asked if I wanted to stay at his for a week, and I wondered if I c-could?" he hated the way he stuttered when he talked to his parents. They peered at him distastefully. His mother seemed like she was considering a life or death situation. If they let me go, they wouldn't have to see me for a week, but then I'd be enjoying myself, and they wouldn't like that.

"If," his mother started "you play the piano well enough tomorrow, you'll be able to go."

Sirius wanted to jump for joy and skip, although really he just carried on eating.

"Thank you."

When he got upstairs he wrote back to James.

Dear Jamsie

So tomorrow I'm having that silly dinner party and I've got to play piano. Mother said if I play well enough I'd be able to go!

I'll get back to you as soon as possible

See you soon (I hope)

Sirius.

Monday 3rd July 1972

The next day Sirius practised furiously at the piano. His wrists started to ache but it had to be good. Really good. Fanstastic.

Before his relatives finally arrived, he went upstairs to change into his dress robes; all black and a strange rufflly white shirt that he thought was way too girly for a boy, especially with his long hair. He always thought he looked ridiculous in such formal robes.

To his surprise, his mother came into the room. She had a pair of scissors in her hand. She wouldn't...

"What's that." he said cautiously.

"Your hair is ridiculous Sirius, I need to cut it before you come down to dinner." she sneered. Sirius wanted to run away but the thought of seeing his friend during the holiday stopped him. Walburga cut away furiously until his hair was short and neat. His raven-black locks fell unceremoniously to the ground in a heap. Sirius thought it looked awful, although he was handsome enough to pull it off. She added some Sleekeazy's hair potion (which she didn't seem to know was made by Mr Potter) and his hair was elegant and shiny, but he still hated it.

Finally his relatives arrived. He was pleased that Uncle Alphard was there, especially when he slipped him a small parcel (which he imagined to be another pair of cool socks). Dinner was reasonably pleasant although he and Regulus didn't say too much. He remembered the time he had put a hair dying potion in Narcissa's drink and her hair turned green. He almost laughed. Bellatrix announced that she and Rudolphus Lestrange were to be married. After, they went into the drawing room where the adults drank glasses of wine. He took a seat near the edge of the room next to Regulus.

"How comes they never ask you to play music for them." hissed Sirius, a little annoyed.

"Because I'm awful at the violin Sirius, come on you know I am."

"Reg you're fine. I just hope they for-"

"Sirius is going to play us some piano now, aren't you Sirius." his mother chimed, with her false fake smile. Resigned to his fate, he got up and sat by the piano. The others sat down and listened. He raised his fingers to the keys and started to play. Not one key was played wrong, it was as good as you could get for a 12 year old. They all clapped at the end, Uncle Alphard and Regulus a little more enthusiastically that the others.

Later in the evening he went over to his Uncle Alphard and asked him about Andromeda. He pulled Sirius over to a quiet corner and began to explain.

"Andromeda has been disowned." he whispered.

"What!"

"Shh keep your voice down Sirius." he hissed "She's married."

"But that's brilliant, how comes she never mentioned it?"

"Well-" he lowered his head conspiratorially. "He's a muggle-born." and then Sirius realised.

"So- so will I ever see her again?" he was annoyed. Andromeda was his favourite cousin.

"Of course you will, she knows you're not like the rest of our family."

"Thanks Uncle Alphard" and now his uncle smiled. Aunt Druella called Alphard over for some reason and he patted Sirius on the back as he left. Finally the guests left and he was alone with his parents and Regulus. To his surprise, his mother decided he had played well enough to go and see James. Sirius slept a little easier that night, it was easier to ignore the pain in his back when he knew he'd be seeing James again so soon.

Sunday 9th July 1972

Sirius hadn't been bothered or threatened by his parents since the time when he got back from school. He mainly stayed up in his room. He had received a lovely letter from Andromeda about the wedding and where she was staying if he ever wanted to see her. He was truly happy for her, and hoped that one day he might marry, and hoped that it would be someone he really loved and not an arranged marriage.

It was the day before he was going to see James that Sirius' decided to get into trouble again. It was when his mother and father mentioned Andromeda and started insulting her and her 'Mudblood' lover.

"What's wrong with not being pureblood, it doesn't really matter does it, we're all just people anyway." he said irritated, but instantly regretted it when his mother started shrieking at him.

"That bloody Mudblood loving fool of a Headmaster! Filling your head with lies!" his father shouted, standing up and walking over to him.

"Get out! You are not to speak such ridiculous words again!" he bellowed fiercely.

"But I don't care! I've seen it for myself, there's nothing wrong with them I-" but then his father lunged at him and whacked him hard around the face. His father was getting old but no less stronger. He was knocked to the floor.

"Out!" he bellowed. And Sirius went up to his room, clutching his reddening cheek. His nose had started to bleed. He grabbed a cloth and tried to stop the flow of red liquid.

The only thing that was keeping him going that day was that he was able to see James tomorrow.