Skaifaya

by Cairlinn1991

What if Charlotte was not the only or even the youngest child on the dropship? This is the story of nine-year-old Marie Matthews, who is sent down to earth as a member of the 100. When Murphy is exiled from the 100 Marie follows him and they run into grounders. Separated from the 100 and to become Anya's second how will Marie stay alive and find a new life for herself?

21. Chapter 21 (201 - 210)

Chapter 211

Marie woke on the next morning to Anya shaking her shoulder. She smiled up at the woman slightly in greeting, stretching under the furs, blinking off the residual tiredness. Her smile dimmed a little when she remembered the events of the previous days.

She frowned slightly when she noticed that Lexa and Ontari were already in the process of eating breakfast. The bed was already cold beside her, so Anya and the commander must have risen some time ago already as well.

Risha stood directly in front of the bed, wagging her tail at her human in obviously exited amusement. Marie's face lightened up with a smile again directed at the wolf and she giggled audibly when Risha jumped up onto the bed, licking over her face quickly.

Anya's previous worry melted from her features at the sight. She had tried unsuccessfully for several moments before to wake the child up, the girl had been uncharacteristically quiet through the whole night, only beginning to toss and turn in the early hours of the morning. "How are you feeling?" the general addressed the blonde child in a kind tone, sitting down on the edge of the bed for a moment.

Marie lightly shoved at Risha, prompting the wolf to at least stop licking at her face. "Good, Mama" she offered in a soft tone.

Anya smiled openly at the child in reaction to the usage of the term in such a nonchalant way. "Up to the bathroom with you" she directed at the girl, motioning Risha with a snap of her fingers to leave the commander's bed.

"Can't I eat first?" Marie retorted with a slight pout, her lower lip protruding visibly while she looked up at Anya with big innocent grey eyes.

Anya's lips thinned slightly and she narrowed her eyes at the girl mutely, pointing towards the bathroom once "Bathroom, now!" she added after a moment, tone noticeably sharper.

Lexa looked over at the two with the hint of a frown, she would not see any harm in letting the girl eat her breakfast now. But she also still remembered Clarke cautioning her not to contradict Anya too often in front of Marie, it was reasonable that the child would be conflicted by such contradictions. Thinking of Clarke, made a flash of resignation pass through her mind.

Anya watched with her arms crossed over her chest, how Marie trudged into the bathroom, looking for all purposes as if having to wash herself now had been some kind of devasting punishment for her. She joined back with Lexa and the nightblood girl at the table, rolling her eyes at the wolf clearly glaring at her. It was really exceptional to see how the wolf had begun to react to Marie's mood in the last weeks, she was sure that Risha would also physically protect her girl if needed as well.

"She could have also just eaten breakfast first" Lexa commented lightly, once she was sure that Marie had closed the door to the bathroom behind herself.

Anya visibly frowned at the commander, eyes narrowing, while Ontari looked visibly uncomfortable at being in this situation at all. The general had already told her older charge that a healer would come to take a look at her shoulder directly after breakfast and that she was expected to stay in their quarters and in bed after that for the day, resting as much as possible.

Lexa's lips curved into the hint of a smile at the clear annoyance flashing over her former mentor's features. "I will see how she is doing" she proclaimed, slight amusement colouring her tone, as she stood from her chair, not feeling particularly hungry at all. She could apply another bit of the ointment on the wounds onto the girl's collarbones as well and ask the girl if she remembered healing Anya last night at all. She had thought quite a bit about it during the last night and Lexa was not convinced that Marie had even done the healing consciously at all.

Marie was in the process of brushing her teeth, standing in front of the sink, upper body bare, when Lexa entered the room. She glanced over her shoulder at the commander and smiled with the toothbrush stuck between her lips.

Lexa leaned against the bathing tube, while she waited for the child to finish brushing her teeth and her gaze travelled over the girl's body during her wait. Marie had visibly gained a little weight again since her return from her time with Nia, but she was still far too thin. She still had not gotten used to the sight of the child's tattooed skin being scarred in such a fashion and seeing it made her heart ache in her chest for the girl time and time again.

Marie willingly stepped closer to the woman, after finishing with brushing her teeth, she had already spotted the little pot with ointment in the woman's fingers.

Lexa opened the pot and quickly began to apply some of the ointment to the girl's, after shortly inspecting the shallow wounds for an infection carefully. She set the pot down on the edge of the bathing tube and gently massaged the ointment into the child's skin.

"What is the last thing you remember from last night?" Lexa asked the girl, green eyes intent, scrutinizing the child with a penetrating gaze.

Marie frowned visibly, scrunching up her brows in concentration "I don't know…" she answered "…getting to bed?" she added after a moment, obviously confused at why the commander was asking such a question at all. Her expression turned alarmed when she noticed the growing frown on the commander's features "Did I do something wrong?" Marie asked, voice clearly unsure.

"No" Lexa quickly shook her head, squeezing the girl's shoulder once, before she handed her the clean shirt from the side. She internally debated about whether to discuss with Marie how she had healed Anya last night or just to let it slide. The girl seemed worried enough and they did not know if it may not be repeating itself anyway, making it null to add to the girl's situation. "Did you sleep well?" she asked instead, trying to ban the residual worry from her own eyes, tone light, as she wiped off her hands.

Marie nodded slightly, a little frown remained on her features, wondering why Lexa had asked at all. When the commander stood up, she stepped closer to the woman shortly, enveloping the woman.

Lexa bend down lightly, pressing a kiss to the child's hairline, hearing a mumbled "Morning, Mummy", while she tightened her own arms around the girl for a moment. She caressed the girl's soft cheek for a moment, when Marie backed out of their embrace. "Good morning to you too, my little star" Lexa answered the girl's greeting with a gentle expression, before she lightly nudged her in the direction of the door "Time for your breakfast, before Anya will lose her patience" she added with the hint of a smile dancing around her lips.

Marie smirked slightly, but obediently proceeded back into the main room of the commander's quarters, joining Anya and Ontari at the table, Risha lying down at her feet immediately. She frowned slightly when she noted how exhausted the older girl still seemed, Ontari also looked paler than usual.

"Are you not feeling well?" she asked immediately, grey eyes looking at the older girl empathically.

Ontari forced a slight smile onto her face, in truth she did not feel well at all, as she had already told the general. The last days had obviously taken a greater toll on her body than she had assumed, her shoulder throbbed painfully with every breath and she was fairly certain that the wound had swollen somewhat over night as well. "I just need a little rest" she reassured the blonde girl vehemently.

Marie frowned at the older girl, not convinced at all by her answer. Her attention was diverted from Ontari slightly, when Anya cleared her throat loudly and pointed to the mug with tea in front of Marie pointedly. Marie sighed under her breath, but did not argue again about having to drink the tea or not.

"You will accompany me to training, while Ontari rests" Anya informed the blonde girl in a sharp tone, not leaving any room for potential discussion. She had no plans of leaving the girl unsupervised now, it seemed as if Marie had taken Nymo's death much better than she had anticipated, but she could always show her real feelings about the matter later on.

Marie nodded with a slight pout, not really in the mood to have to sit next to the training pits and watch Anya train on her own. It was more fun with Ontari beside her, but it would be totally boring on her own. "Can I go to the stables…" Marie questioned the general immediately, when she noticed the woman frowning slightly, she quickly added "…afterwards?" with big innocent eyes

Anya sighed lightly under her breath, the child had not been to see the horses in a few days now, so it was no surprise that she wished to return to the stables. She inclined her head in mute agreement, prompting a pleased smile from the child.

"You have also not continued your studies of the first commander's journal" Lexa addressed Marie over her own mug of tea, tone light, while she looked over a quick report.

Marie's smile visibly dimmed, but she nodded her head grudgingly. She had truly not continued to read the book for several days now, she knew that trying to have to read the unfamiliar way of writing would probably not get any easier if she did not get at least some regular practise in it.

"I will bring her down myself" Anya answered her former second immediately, ignoring Marie's obvious reluctance to have to practise again. As the commander's second Marie was not just privileged to a certain tutelage, but it was also her duty to acquire it as well.

Marie frowned visibly at the general, but Anya ignored the child's reaction completely, while Lexa inclined her head in mute acknowledgement.

A healer knocking on the door to the commander's quarters, broke up their shared breakfast moments later. Ontari stood up from her place immediately, sending Marie a little smile on her way.

Anya stopped the nightblood girl briefly "You are to stay in our rooms for the rest of the day, I don't want to hear that you have been wandering around" she reminded the girl sharply.

Ontari subtly nodded her head, supressing the urge to roll her eyes at the Trikru woman. She had already been given the exact same order from her earlier that very same morning and she had absolutely no intention to wander through the tower, she internally wondered where she would want to go anyway.

Lexa stood from her place as well. Clarke had already been at her door in the morning, Gustus had not let the Skykru woman pass, but she knew that she would need to face the blonde at one point. She had scheduled a meeting with the ambassadors for the morning, expecting it to continue until midday at least. She had also already relayed a message to Titus that she wished to meet with the nightblood children at a later time in the day, wanting to see for herself how the children were cooping with the loss of their brothers and sisters.

"You are welcome to join me and the conclave later, Marie" the commander proclaimed in a kind tone. She thought it would do the blonde girl some good to spend time with the nightblood children as she had clearly befriended all of them.

Marie nodded in agreement immediately, mood already lifting at the prospect. She felt a flash of grief pass through her mind at the bitter realisation that so many of the nightbloods would not be there any longer. She had seen their bodies burn, but she was somehow sure that seeing the visibly smaller numbers of the conclave later, would be hard to face later.

She did not have much to time to ponder on her thoughts though, because as soon as Lexa had finished dressing in the regalia of the commander, Anya proclaimed that she wanted to get to the training pits now as well.

Marie sighed lightly under her breath, but smiled again when Risha also stood up, stretching herself like a cat would, before trotting to the door and waiting there with her tail wagging in obvious giddy anticipation to get out again.

"Will Talia continue her lesson without Ontari there?" Marie asked towards Anya, as they stepped out of the commander's quarters.

Anya looked down at the child for a moment, contemplating her answer briefly "Reviewing what you have already been taught, can surely not harm" she settled on finally. It would probably not make too much sense to let them continue now without the nightblood girl's presence, only to have to repeat the lesson later on. But she would remember to speak with the warrior about meeting both girls in their quarters tomorrow instead. She frowned slightly, when she spotted Marie jawing deeply next to her in the elevator "You are tired still?" she questioned the girl, scrutinizing her with the intent to assess if the girl might be getting ill with something. Marie did not appear noticeably pale and her gaze was clear and focused, so Anya assumed that the last days had just been more exhausting to the child, they should probably take it a little easier on the child in the remaining time before the army began its march.

Marie shrugged her shoulders slightly "Not really" she answered a little defensively. In truth, her body felt a little sluggish and heavy, although she was fairly certain that she had slept long enough.

Anya let it slide for now, turning her focus back ahead of them, once they stepped out of the tower. The streets around the tower were still relatively empty, most citizens had not begun their day just yet.

Marie gasped audibly when she spotted the remainders of Nymo's pyre which had still not been cleared away yet. She faltered in her steps visibly, feeling as if she had been punched right in the chest.

Anya stepped closer to the child immediately, putting an arm around her smaller frame protectively. "It is alright, Marie" she reassured the girl at once in a soothing tone, brown eyes staring down at the girl in a mixture of worry and caring.

Marie looked up at the woman's face with her grey eyes widened slightly, she swallowed forcefully past the lump lodged in her throat, nodding her head in acknowledgement of Anya's words, leaning into her body slightly as well for a moment. She looked over at the remainders of the pyre once again, shuddering lightly, before she turned in Anya's arms slightly, hiding her face against the woman's midriff momentarily.

Anya followed Marie's gaze, feeling herself confirmed in her assumption that the girl had in fact not truly understood yet that her friend had indeed died and not really begun to work through her impending grief for Nymo either. She tightened her arms for a moment around the girl, knowing that nothing she could say to the girl would make it any easier. So, she loosened her arms around Marie moments later mutely, nudging the girl back into the direction of the training pits without a word.

The training had passed without any notable incidences, Marie found it hard to concentrate on her lesson with Talia. Without Ontari there, she was the sole focus of the warrior and her mood darkened quickly at being reprimanded several times by the woman for her obvious lack of concentration and Marie soon began to feel a headache bug behind her temples. Risha had whined lightly in complaint, when her fingers had tightened several times in the wolf's fur, biting back a scathing remark burning on the tip of her tongue.

She was truly relieved when Anya appeared behind the warrior, finally putting an end to their lesson and motioning her to stand and follow her to the stables.

Marie watched Risha turn from the stables with an audible huff and it seemed as if the wolf was stalking off almost sulkily, prompting a smile to lighten up her features again. Marie felt a slight flash of guilt at the realization that she had not once asked after the horse with the broken leg through the last days after Lexa had gifted it to her, she really hoped that the horse was doing better now.

Anya was stopped momentarily at the entrance of the stables, held up by another general from the Shallow Valley clan, wanting to speak to her. So, she sent Marie ahead with a curt nod, watching the child, until she left her field of vision in the stables.

Marie felt slightly calmer, breathing in the strong scent of the hay, being surrounded by the huffing sounds of several horses and she smiled brighter, when both the commander's steed and Anya's hazelnut mount as well, neighed at her in greeting, putting their enormous heads over their stalls.

She stepped over to the commander's steed first, letting her fingers scratch lightly over the soft skin of its nose gently in greeting. She glanced over her shoulder at Anya's horse, neighing louder now at her "Yeah, yeah, I'll come to you in a moment" she called over with a light laugh "No reason to be jealous".

Marie stretched onto her tiptoes slightly to be able to look into the stall, spotting the foal behind its mother "Hey, little one" she greeted it in a soft tone and smiled brighter, when the foal flicked its ears, looking up at her in clear interest "Come here" she tried to coax it to her in a kind tone.

She was startled slightly by a gruff voice from behind her "It will not listen to your commands yet".

Marie whirled around quickly, smiling faintly at the burly stables master, as she inclined her head in mute acknowledgement.

Her expression turned a little guilty a moment later. The stables master was watching her intently and although Marie startled slightly, when the foal suddenly pressed its head against the girl's fingers, still outstretched into the stall, he did not appear surprised at all.

"Your wounded horse is behaving itself exceptionally as well" he proclaimed nonchalantly, scrutinizing the girl. He was still trying to figure out what could be special about her, he could not deny that she seemed to have a weird connection to the horses, gaining their trust and obedience effortlessly. If the girl ever tired of being an active warrior, she could easily be entrusted with the care over the horses.

"It is getting better?" Marie asked, expression clearly hopeful. Although she was aware of the man's penetration gaze resting on herself, she tried not to let it show how much it unnerved her at the moment.

The man inclined his head in mute agreement "I have never seen a horse with an injured limp standing still for days" he narrated to the child. He had personally watched carefully over the horse these past days and he was fairly certain that the horse would be able to recover, if it continued to behave in such a way.

Marie's smiled brightened visibly and her grey eyes shone with joy for a moment; she laughed out lout when the general's steed audibly trampled in place, huffing loudly, obviously trying to finally garner her attention. She caressed the foal one more time, letting her fingers glide over the steed's head as well in passing, before she stepped over to the hazelnut horse "I am here, you really don't have to be so jealous" she spoked loudly to the horse, unmindful of the stables master still watching her every move.

Anya's footsteps were muffled by the straw covering the ground and her lips were tilted up in amusement, when she leaned against the stall of her own horse, watching Marie interact with her mount with fondness; she only curtly inclined her head towards the stables master.

"See, if you are ever getting a carrot or an extra hand of oat from me ever again" the general addressed the hazelnut horse with a shake of her head. The horse had only flicked its ears at her, but clearly preferred being caressed by Marie at the moment, not making an attempt to look over to her at all.

Marie giggled at the woman's comment "Oh, I'll give you some" she immediately reassured the horse, glancing up at Anya with twinkling eyes.

Anya huffed at the child's answer, but amusement gentled her brown eyes visibly. "Come" she motioned the girl towards the end of the row of the stalls, where she knew the horse with the broken leg was being kept. She would need to attend a meeting soon and wanted to bring Marie back into the tower before that. Her horse huffed in clear complaint, when Marie followed her order and said goodbye to it a moment later.

Marie's steps visibly quickened to get to the last stall and she glanced into it cautiously. She smiled brightly, when the horse flicked its two pairs of ears at her immediately and all of its eyes connected with her. The horse seemed calmer now, the panic was absent from its eyes and Marie lightly stretched again, slowly bringing her hand towards its head.

The horse reeled back slightly at first, before it returned to its original position.

"I won't hurt you" Marie reassured in a soft tone, noticing Anya hovering behind her.

Anya watched the girl interact with the horse carefully, even separated by the stall's door, the horse could easily bite off Marie's fingers and she was prepared to physically haul the child back at any moment. It appeared thought as if the horse truly reacted to Marie's words somehow, calming down immediately and letting itself be caressed by the child as well. She remembered that the girl had tried to convince her and Ontari that the wounded horse had stopped resisting the treatment from the stables master, when she had explained it to the horse. She had not really believed the girl now, convinced that the child had been exaggerating, but it seemed she had spoken the truth.

"See, I won't hurt you?" Marie spoke softly to the horse "You have to be good and stand still until your leg heals, will you? For me?"

Anya could have sworn to see something akin to understanding pass between the horse and the child, before she cleared her throat and called Marie back. She needed to get back inside and bring Marie with her.

Chapter 212

Marie trudged behind Anya, dragging her feet visibly through the rows of stalls of the stable. She stopped shortly at the stalls of the commander's horses, caressing them for a short moment again and also made another halt at the general's hazelnut steed as well.

Anya rolled her eyes at the girl; her stalling was very much obvious and she had very little patience for such dallying. Her brown eyes narrowed at the girl and her lips thinned in growing irritation, but Marie seemed to sense that she was only a moment away from reprimanding the child verbally, because she stepped away from the stalls. Anya felt a little surge of regret at seeing the girl's mood fall visibly, as her shoulders dropped as well and her expression blanked mostly.

The streets of Polis were visibly more crowded at this time of the day and Anya noticed quickly that Marie walked much closer to herself now, keeping herself stiff and straight, grey eyes flitting around themselves constantly, clearly on edge. She put a hand on the small of the child's back in a reassuring mute gesture, guiding her back towards the tower physically.

Marie stiffened beneath Anya's hand even further for a moment, before she exhaled forcefully, truly feeling the reassuring warmth of the woman's palm resting on her back. She glanced up over her shoulder, craning her neck for a moment, while a shaky grateful smile flickered over her features.

Marie shuddered again notably, when she spotted warriors finally clearing away the remainders of the nightblood children's pyres.

Anya lightly nudged the child forward, not wanting to give her the chance to stop now and possibly even break down in front of the tower as well. She was not really certain that escorting the child to the temple of the commander and leave her there on her own, was truly such a good idea at the moment. But she reasoned that the girl would at least have a task at hand to occupy her mind with. She doubted that Marie would in fact read anything, if she brought the child up to Ontari instead and the nightblood girl was supposed to be resting, hopefully sleeping even, so Anya discarded that brief idea immediately again.

Marie stopped in her steps, when she spotted Clarke across from them. Her eyes had still been hefted on the warriors cleaning up the ash of the pyres and her thoughts felt like all came crushing down, when she saw Clarke and the ash simultaneously.

Anya brows furrowed at the child suddenly stopping, she looked down at the girl in worry, following her intent stare for a moment. Her lips thinned when she spotted Clarke leaving the tower through the crowd.

"Are you alright to study the journal for now?" Anya asked, trying to divert Marie's attention back to herself again.

Marie looked up sharply at the woman, sighing under her breath. She could imagine that her other option would be to accompany the general to the ambassador meeting, she should not bother Ontari if the older girl was getting sick after all. So, she nodded her head mutely after a moment of contemplation.

Anya smiled lightly in reassurance at the child, squeezing her shoulder, as she nudged her forward again towards the tower. She was slightly relived that Clarke had either not noticed their approach or had nothing to say to her at the moment and she could not see the blonde healer any longer, she guessed that the Skykru woman would have probably joined the healers on their rounds through the streets of the capitol.

"I will come to get you later" Anya informed Marie on their way towards the elevator.

"Okay…" Marie acknowledged absentmindedly, trying to uphold an unaffected front. She was weirdly aware of all the guards around the basement of the tower right now. The temple of the commander would at least offer her some privacy for her thoughts.

Anya watched the girl from the corner of her eyes with a frown, sensing that something was off about Marie, but being unable to put a finger on just what it was. She also knew that her presence was expected by Lexa at the meeting and she did not have time to force the girl to spell out her thoughts now. She hoped that the child would voice what was clearly bugging her later on.

"Stay in the temple until I get you" Anya repeated her order, when the elevator pulled to a stop underground.

Marie lightly rolled her eyes, but nodded her head in mute agreement. She did not look back, as she quickened her steps through the hall towards the temple beneath the tower. She was not surprised in the slightest to see two men, wearing the robes of the flamekeeper, stood guard in front of the doors, pulling them open for her without being prompted to.

Marie barely spared the both of them any glance, before she stepped inside. Her eyes shortly flickered over the mural drawn on the walls all around the temple, hearing the door being closed behind herself again.

She sighed under breath when she spotted the familiar book still placed visibly on a stand. Marie straightened her shoulders, picking up the book from it, before she let herself slide down against one of the walls, sitting down cross-legged with the book limply in her hands.

Marie did not know exactly why, but only a moment later, tears were blurring her sight and a sob bubbled from her lips. She discarded the book beneath herself, pulling her knees towards her chest, hugging them tightly, when tears began to slide down her cheeks.

She could not ban the memories from her mind right now, no matter how hard she tried. She could clearly remember Nymo smiling at her brightly, dark eyes twinkling with mirth, while they played their joke on Titus. It was replaced quickly by the memory of Nymo standing vigil at the funeral rites, having to be help up by Clarke, dark eyes clouded with fever and skin glistening with sweat.

She could hear the words Clarke had thrown at Lexa before Nymo's funeral rites echoing through her mind, but what the blonde woman had not said, sounded even louder through her mind now. Seeing Clarke and the ash together, made Marie realize that Clarke might not have said it out lout, but the woman must believe it. It was her fault that Nymo had died. She had not even tried to heal her friend. She had listened to Lexa and Anya and their denial for her to even attempt to heal Nymo.

Marie felt a brief flash of anger at the both women pass through her mind. Nymo could potentially still be alive, if they had given her the opportunity to see her friend and try to heal him off his infected wound. But she forcefully banned it from her mind again as well. She knew that Lexa and Anya had not denied her with the intention to let Nymo die on purpose, but because they wanted to keep her protected at all costs. She felt a small warm feeling bloom in her chest for a moment at the thought, that she had become this important to the commander and the general.

Tears ran down her cheeks hotly and she began to lightly rock her body back and forth, sobbing loudly. "…all you fault!" echoed loudly through her mind. Clarke had directed the words at Lexa, but she should have screamed them at herself instead.

It was her fault, her fault that Nymo was dead. Her fault for not having succeeded in convincing Lexa and Anya to at least let try to heal the nightblood body. Her fault for not even having tried to slip away and get to her friend, trying to heal him without permission instead.

"Her fault…only her fault…her fault alone…" was the only thing Marie could think of anymore and she clawed her fingers into her arms, as she continued to rock back and forth, crying desperate bitter tears, while she lost all sense of her surroundings and time, lost in her mind for now.

Anya was relived when the meeting was finally called to an end for the day by the commander.

It was obvious that not all of the other ambassadors were satisfied with Lexa's plan of action concerning the war. The commander did not wish to extinguish all of the Ice Nation population they encountered on their way towards Nia's fortress. Most of them had openly disagreed with the commander's orders and called out for the completely wipe-out of whole clan instead, nulling the chance of Ice Nation ever retaliating against the coalition.

But to their great displeasure, Lexa's mind was dead set on that fact. She wanted Roan to have a chance to rule Azgeda different from his mother. The Ice Nation was a huge clan, which had its own value, like all other clans had as well, wiping them out in total would be a senseless waste and a potential loss of skills and resources additionally. Lexa had passionately explained to them again the merit of the coalition in itself, trying to convince them into what they could grow in a peaceful future. It was clear that the commander wished to integrate Ice Nation back under her flag, once the war was won and Nia killed and removed from her throne.

Roan himself had been given a chance to speak at the meeting and the prince of Azgeda had agreed easily with Lexa's ideas. The commander and the prince had discussed beforehand in a private meeting just what Azgeda could offer the other clans in a form of recompense for all the sins his mother had perpetrated against the rest of the coalition.

It had still taken what felt like endless arguments back and forth between Roan and the ambassadors, to finally settle the ambassadors and get them to grudgingly agree to the commander's plan, trying to kill as few people of Azgeda as possible on their way to Nia's fortress.

Anya hoped that Marie had not bored herself overly much until now, the meeting had lasted much longer than she had predicted and she hoped that she did not have to search for the child now. She had not instructed the flamekeepers to keep the child inside of the temple after all, so they would have let Marie leave without even thinking about it further.

She stopped shortly on her way out of the throne room. Roan had been told to wait as well, because Lexa wanted to discuss with him in private what had been discussed now and maybe add a few details. She remembered that she had promised Marie that the girl could meet again with Roan and that she would be there with her as well.

The prince looked mildly surprised at the general's request. "I have heard rumours about what happened to the child in my mother's clutches" he answered, a slight grimace on his features "How bad was it?" he questioned with compassionate eyes. He still remembered the chirpy and kind girl, but he had not seen her with his own eyes since the girl had disappeared over half a year ago. He had been surprised to hear the guards gossiping about the fact that a blonde child had returned with Ontari.

"Nia tortured her in every sense" Anya pressed out through clenched teeth, a surge of hot anger clouding her mind momentarily "Death would have been a kinder fate".

Roan looked honestly sorry to hear her confirm the rumours he had heard already. He could imagine what his mother might have done to the innocent and pure child. He had seen himself how his mother had broken several prisoners, all of them way older and stronger than the girl had been. None of them had lasted too long under his mother's torture, so there had been no chance for the girl either. "If she wants to meet me, she is welcome to, of course" he answered the general's original request.

Anya inclined her head curtly, already turning on her heels, wanting to get back to Marie as soon as possible now.

The way down from the throne room to the dungeons, appeared awfully long all of a sudden and she tapped her feet impatiently in the elevator, willing it to move faster. She had not had the best feeling leaving the child alone in the first place, but Marie was not a toddler and should be fine to stay on her own for a few hours and she had had the order to continue with the first commander's journal, but Anya still felt a dark kind of anticipation coil in her stomach uncomfortably.

Her foreboding was confirmed, when she entered the temple of the flamekeepers. Marie was lying in front of one of the walls, curled in on herself, whole frame shaking and she could hear a distinct mumbling of "my fault" passing through the child's lips. Anya could see the commander's journal discarded next to the girl on the floor and she briefly wondered if Marie had even opened the book at all, but she pushed the thought from her mind, it hardly mattered at all at the moment.

She could hear the girl mumbling, coarse sobs passing through her lips as well, but the girl showed no reaction that she was aware of her footfalls echoing loudly off of the stone walls of the small room.

Anya crouched down in front of the child, expression pained and brown eyes riddled with regret. She should obviously not have left the girl alone at all before. She cursed herself an ignorant fool for assuming that the delicate child was dealing well with the loss of several of her friends in the span of only a few days.

She cautiously extended her hands towards the distraught child "Marie" she addressed her in a gentle, but clear and loud tone. But Marie did not show any kind of reaction at all. Anya's brows furrowed in mounting worry, when the child did not react to being touched as well.

Without further thought, Anya bend down completely, scooping the child up from the floor and securing her in her arms. "Marie" she tried to address the girl again, lightly caressing over one of the girl's cheeks. It was obvious that the child had cried for a long time, but her tears had obviously run dry by now. Anya sighed under her breath, when the girl seemed to look right through her, grey eyes widened and unseeing, not even blinking once. The girl did not seem to have a fever, but she was clearly catatonic. She felt her heart give a painful squeeze at the thought that she could have easily prevented all of this, if she had just followed her instincts and stayed with the girl instead.

The girl still kept on mumbling that it was her fault and Anya felt a shiver run down her back at the serene expression on the child's face and the hopelessness colouring her almost broken tone.

She secured the girl's body in her arms, turning on her heels and carrying Marie out of the temple with fast strides. She hoped that bringing her back into Lexa's quarters, the rooms were the girl obviously felt the most comfortable in in the whole tower, would already help in easing her mind back into consciousness somehow.

Anya ignored the flamekeepers standing guard, she briefly contemplated asking them if they had heard since when Marie had been crying, but she went past them without saying anything. The thought alone prompted another surge of anger to course through her mind. If Marie was truly upset, the girl still rarely cried silently, so Anya somehow doubted that the men had truly heard nothing of the girl's distress.

"Marie, can you hear me?" Anya tried again to address the girl in the elevator. She knew that it would take them a few moments until the ascended to the top of the tower and having the child so unresponsive was highly unsettling to her as well. If she though that shaking the girl physically would help anything, she would attempt that as well, but she still remembered that Abby had cautioned them to be gentle with Marie if she was lost in a panicked daze. The child did not appear to be panicked now, but she was clearly lost in the depths of her mind.

The girl still did not show any reaction and Anya felt her own mind beginning to panic as well. "You are safe now, little star, I have got you" she tried to whisper into the girl's ears, craning her neck down slightly, so that her cheek rested on the girl's forehead.

Anya only straightened herself again slightly, when the door of the elevator slid open again later finally on the top level of the tower. She quickly carried Marie towards the commander's quarters, barking at the guards posted at the doors to alert their commander and summon the younger woman to her rooms immediately.

One of the guards opened the doors for her at once, while the other hurried down the hall to the elevator to carry out the general's order. All of the guards entrusted with guarding the commander personally, had by now gotten to know enough of the commander's second and their relationship to know that the commander would wish to know that something was wrong with the blonde girl at once and would also discard whatever duty she had been occupied with without further thought.

Anya went over to the huge bed at once, placing the girl in the middle of the mattress for now. She quickly divested herself of her weapons and heavy coat, before she sat down on the edge of the mattress, pulling the still unresponsive child into her lap, stroking over her back in silent reassurance.

Anya only noted now that Marie's arms were tightly crossed over her chest and she could already see little red spots on the girl's sleeves, where she had clearly opened her own skin. She needed a moment to forcefully loosen the girl's hands from her upper arms, trying to somehow massage her clawed fingers back into softness.

She could fathom what Marie might be meaning with her mumbling of "my fault" and Anya felt her heart breaking a little more for the child. Lexa and she would clearly have a hard time ahead of them, trying to convince Marie of the fact that Nymo's death had in no way been her fault at all.

"Little star" she continued to try and speak with the child, hoping that Marie somehow, even if only on the edge of her consciousness, was aware of her presence and listening to her words "Nothing has been your fault, my little star, you are safe now, you can come back now…please, Marie…".

Anya did not know exactly just how long she sat on the commander's bed continuing her constant reassuring words, caressing over the girl's back gently, although she felt how her own fingers began to shake after a few moments and her eyes burnt with a sheen of tears, feeling the girl's inner turmoil, as if it were her own.

Lexa rushed into her quarters only moments later and her green eyes were frantic, as she searched for Marie. She had instantly been alarmed at the guard's brief report and she knew that Anya would never call her from her duties, if Marie's condition would not truly warrant it.

"What happened?" she questioned immediately, stepping closer to the bed and banding a worried look with her former mentor.

Anya shook her head "I do not know for sure…" she broke off, when Marie began to mumble again.

Lexa's expression fell visibly, when her mind connected the girl's words with the previous days' events.

"She is completely unresponsive" Anya said to the commander, voice tinted strongly with desperation.

Lexa nodded with a heavy sigh, she could see that with her own eyes after all. She kneeled down in front of her former mentor's legs, bringing her hands to Marie's head and she let her fingers frame the girl's face gently, caressing over her cheekbones softly. "Little star, listen to my voice, only concentrate on my voice, you have to find your way back and come back to us, little star" Lexa tried another technique which Abby had tried to teach to them over their radio. "You are safe now, Marie, follow my voice, you are not at fault and you are safe, only concentrate on my voice".

Anya remained silent, while Lexa attempted to pull Marie's consciousness back out of the girl's turmoiled mind. Her brown eyes intently scanned over the girl's features, looking for any change, no matter how subtle and she let out an almost chocked sob of relieve, when the girl blinked once.

Lexa let out an audible sigh, when Marie blinked again, confusion clouded the girl's features for the flash of a moment, before her grey eyes misted over with tears again and she let out a sobbed "I am sorry…" in a coarse tone.

"Sshhh" Lexa shushed the child gently, green eyes staring down at Marie swimming in deep emotions "Everything will be alright" she reassured the girl, wiping away some of the tears running down the girl's cheeks softly.

Marie's body twisted slightly and Lexa eased off a little bit, watching on with an aching heart, how Marie turned completely, pressing her face into Anya's abdomen and her sobbing only increased as she slung her arms around the general's midriff as well.

Lexa and Anya bandied a silent glance, both of them united in the relieve that Marie had come out of her dazed state again, but deeply worried that she had slipped into it in the first place, both of them would be there for the girl, trying frantically to piece her back together somehow. The commander rested a hand over Anya's hand already lying on top of the girl's back, squeezing down on her fingers slightly; they would be doing this together after all.

Chapter 213

It seemed to take an eternity for Marie's sobs to die down and Lexa half expected that the child had cried herself to sleep. She was slightly surprised when Marie loosened her arms around Anya, sitting up again as well. The girl's face clearly showed her exhaustion, if she was only emotionally exhausted or physically as well, Lexa could not assess like that, but the girl presented a pitiful image like that. Her grey eyes were red and puffy from all the crying, her cheeks crusted with tears and hair in complete disarray as well.

"I am sorry…" Marie croaked out again, voice notably hoarse and a pained flash passed over her features.

Anya kept her hands on the girl's shoulders, supporting the girl lightly, brown eyes focused on Marie the entire time.

Lexa finally got to her feet as well, stepping over quickly to a table to fetch some water for Marie, who clearly needed something to sooth her throat. She poured a cup of cool water for the girl, while Marie rubbed at her eyes, grimacing visibly when she noticed her own crusted blood beneath her finger nails.

Marie pulled her hands down, narrowing her eyes at them with a frown, trying to scratch away some of the dried blood. She was not even aware that she had hurt herself somewhere, Anya's fingers gently but firmly closing around her wrists and pulling them apart, stopped her attempt to remove the blood for the moment.

"Stop that" Anya reprimanded the girl in a calm tone, not letting go of Marie's wrists yet "You can wash it off soon" she reassured her quickly. She did not know why Marie reacted so strongly to the sight of blood on her hands, but the girl had exhibited the same behaviour before already.

Marie looked at her sheepishly with a shuddering breath, still not having calmed down one hundred percent, her grey eyes riddled with guilt, feeling anything but strong at the moment.

Anya let go of the girl's hands when Lexa presented a mug to Marie and the child greedily gulped down some of the cool liquid quickly.

"Don't make yourself sick" Lexa cautioned in a gentle tone, sitting down on Marie's other side on the edge of the mattress.

Marie lowered the cup immediately, her gaze turned to Lexa momentarily and her shoulders fell visibly, feeling that she had failed both of her mentors by breaking down once again.

"None of that now, Marie" Lexa intercepted the girl's reaction, taking the cup back from her with one hand and placing it onto the small table standing directly by the bed. She brought the girl's chin up with a gentle but insistent touch "What has happened, Marie?" she asked the girl intently, while her finger gently traced the girl's jaw in a hopefully soothing gesture.

Marie shuddered immediately at the question, grey eyes closing for a moment "I…" she began, but broke off, breath hitching again.

Anya scooted slightly closer to the girl, placing a hand flatly onto her back, just below the girl's shoulder blades "Breathe, Marie" she addressed the girl in a caring tone "You are safe now, we just want to know what has happened".

Marie nodded slightly, taking a deep breath and trying to calm herself further. She looked between both of them shortly, when Lexa's fingers let go of her chin and the commander's hand rested on her shoulder instead.

Clarke's words flashed through her mind again and her voice was deeply laced with resignation when she said "Clarke said to you that Nymo's death was your fault, that you have let him die, choosing me above him…" she paused for a moment, grey eyes clouded with despair "…but she should have blamed me. I let him die…" her voice trailed off, feeling hollow all of a sudden.

Lexa immediately shook her head in the negative, feeling her heart ache for the girl, before she could say something though, Marie's grey eyes flashed and the girl continued, voice surer now.

"Clarke has not said it out loud, but she has to believe it" Marie said, grey eyes burning with a bitter determination now "You could not have healed him, she knows that, but I could have … I COULD have … but I did not even try… I have let my friend die …" She felt like crying again, but her eyes burnt dry right now, she did not seem physically capable of shedding more tears at the moment.

"When I saw Clarke and the remainders of Nymo's pyre, it all became clear" she added bitterly, lips pressed into a thin line, body trembling. Her urge to cry, felt as if screaming aloud might also be a viable option now and her hands balled into fists again "She is right … I have not done anything to help him!"

Lexa and Anya bandied a deeply worried glance over the agitated girl's head, it was obvious that the child was entirely convinced from her string of argumentation now. It would probably be hard to get her to change her mind at all now.

Anya shook her head with a determined expression, she should have seen beforehand that seeing the remainders of the pyres of the nightblood children had clearly upset Marie. She somehow doubted that having stayed with Marie instead, would have truly helped. The girl would not have been likely to share her thoughts and could have simply worked out the same conviction in the privacy of her mind. She felt a deep surge of anger towards the blonde Skykru woman course through her mind. Marie had not truly considered that she may carry any real sense of guilt at Nymo's death before witnessing the fight between Clarke Lexa.

"Marie, listen to me closely" Anya addressed the girl in an almost sharp tone, it was hard for her at the current moment to keep her feelings in check "You are not to fault for Nymo's death in any way…"

Marie did not let the woman finish though, seemingly not caring at all that she was interrupting her at the moment "But I am" she retorted hotly "Clarke said it was your fault" she glanced over at Lexa shortly "but it was really only mine. Clarke…"

Lexa's expression had turned definitely stricter now, as she hushed the girl "Marie, no" she shook her head in the negative. It was unexpected that the girl seemed to have frantically searched for a reasoning to remove the blame from her own person and placed it with herself completely instead, Lexa was not yet sure of how to feel about that either. If she had been angry at Clarke before for their fight, that stood in no comparison to how she felt about it now. "Anya is right, Marie, you are in absolutely no way to blame for Nymo's death" she shook her head again sharply, when Marie opened her mouth to retort something.

"Let me finish" she said, tone having undertaken a strict layer "You are right that I am not to blame personally for Nymo's death either, Marie, no one is to blame for it. Nymo died because of tragic circumstances. He was wounded in a fight with bandits, if you need to have a culprit for your friend's death, it had been the bandits who had originally wounded him. No one could have foreseen that his wound would get this severely infected and that the Skykru medicine had not saved him. But you are under no circumstances to blame for his death."

"But Clarke…" Marie spoke up loudly, tone slightly whiny now, while her grey eyes swam in a sheen of tears again. A part of her mind could see the logic behind Lexa's argumentation, but a larger part of her mind refused to accept it as the truth just yet and let go of her feeling of all-encompassing guilt.

"No, Marie" Anya took over again, sensing that Lexa was hesitant to point out the most obvious reason for Clarke's arguments "Clarke said what she knew would hurt Lexa most, she wanted to hurt her and dragging you into their fight had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she does or does not believe that you are to blame for the boy's death".

"You think so?" Marie questioned, tone softer again as insecurities flashed over her features.

"I know so, little star" Anya reassured the girl quickly with absolute conviction in her tone "You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty for his death".

Marie sighed deeply, lowering her eyes to her fingers again, her lower lip visibly trembling.

Lexa raised the girl's chin again, reconnecting their eyes "You are allowed to grief his death without feeling guilty that Nymo has died, Marie. Are you to blame for every citizen of the capitol who dies, because you have not tried to heal them? Are you to blame personally for every death around you, because you have not been there to heal them?"

Marie's grey eyes looked despaired as she met the commander's piercing gaze "I feel like I should have tried to sneak away and at least tried to have healed him…" she admitted faintly, ignoring the commander's loaded questions, although she pondered them internally. Could she take the blame for anyone dying around her, just because she potentially could heal them? Would a healer feel guilty like this when one of their patients died? Had Abby felt guilty when she had not been able to heal her mother for her?

Lexa sighed slightly, lips thinning a fraction, internally she was relieved that the girl had not tried. It would be almost impossible for them to keep Marie's talent hidden from public knowledge if the girl would try to heal just anyone not minding their caution at all.

Anya's expression turned slightly dark for a moment, imagining that the child had indeed managed to get to Nymo. No matter if she would have succeeded in healing the boy in the end, more people would have learned of her talent in consequence. If the girl had managed, they would have never been able to cover for her healing talent sensibly. If she had failed and tried hard enough, like she had already done for Clarke, she would have probably dropped unconscious, maybe even suffering another aneurism and they would not have been able to keep that a secret either.

"We are glad that you have not" Lexa answered the girl's admission for both of them, having seen her own feelings reflected on her former mentor's features. When the child visibly frowned at her, Lexa explained again, why they would have never been able to keep her talent hidden, if she had indeed tried to heal Nymo and had been witnessed at it.

Marie sighed again, her shoulders dropped again, when she let go of the rest of her internal resistance to believe into Lexa's and Anya's words. "I am sorry…" she offered faintly, as a blush rose to her cheeks.

Lexa's expression had turned a lot gentler again by now, sensing that the girl at least for now had believed her. She knew that it would be foolish to assume, that the girl could not come back with the same argumentation at a later point, but for now, she had obviously calmed down. "There is no need for you to apologize" she reassured the girl in a soft tone, squeezing her shoulder gently.

Marie looked slightly miserable still, lower lip protruding in a pout "I caused another scene by breaking down" she complained whiny. She was aware that the woman had just returned to her quarters for her sake, Lexa had not even gotten rid of any part of the regalia of the commander, looking as if she had been summoned out of the middle of a meeting. She tentatively apologised to Lexa about it, but was silenced with a caring expression.

"I do not care about the stopped meeting, Marie, it does not matter now what it has been about" she reassured the girl in a decisive tone and after a short beat of silence she added heavily "I will leave behind any duty, if physical possible, if you do need me, there is nothing more important right now" her green eyes connected with Marie's for long moments. She knew that there were certain things that she could not possibly do for the girl, but she would do anything in her power for her daughter now, bending the boundaries of her station if necessary, as well. Stopping a meeting for the girl would hardly crumble the coalition.

Awe flitted over Marie's features visibly, before a slow smile began to enlighten her features "You really mean that?" she echoed in a small tone.

The corners of Lexa's mouth pulled into a small smile as well as she nodded her head in agreement "Of course, you are my daughter now, Marie and you know that we are not going to lie to you".

"Thank you" Marie said with a smile, leaning over to hug the commander strongly for a moment, deeply inhaling her calming scent. She looked over at Anya, after she let go of the commander and her expression changed into guilt again momentarily. She could only to a certain extend imagine in which condition the general must have found her. "I am sorry for worrying you" she exclaimed honestly, looking at the woman for forgiveness.

Anya sighed under her breath at the girl's sometimes impossible logic, both of them would somehow need to instil in the child not to have to feel guilty for every last error she did. "There is nothing you have to be sorry for" she proclaimed in a strong tone and her brown eyes were warm as she stared at the girl, she was internally only relieved that the girl was obviously feeling much better already. She was aware that searching for someone to blame for her friend's death would only have been a part of Marie's grief and that there was more to come, but they would tackle one problem at a time.

Marie nodded faintly, but her brows were still creased slightly as she could not let go of a particular stubborn thought. "I should not be this weak still to break down like that…" her voice was filled with impatience with herself.

Both Anya and Lexa shook their heads at the girl.

"You are getting better, Marie, that is all that counts" Lexa intoned in a gentle tone.

Marie pouted slightly, but nodded her head in agreement.

"We shall wash off your blood" the commander said a moment later, standing from the bed and extending one hand towards Marie to grasp onto.

Marie nodded immediately, momentarily having forgotten about it "I had not meant to hurt myself" she said with a frown.

"I know" Lexa agreed without a sliver of doubt in her tone, it would turn into an even huger problem if the girl began deliberately hurting herself.

Anya watched the commander lead Marie into the bathroom with a mute deep sigh. She was all too aware that scenes like that could be repeating themselves in the future. The girl was obviously emotionally not as stable as they would have liked, it was expected after what she had suffered through, but it pained her deeply to have to watch the girl go through it without really being able to help her efficiently. If somehow physically possible, Anya would have given anything to take over the girl's inner turmoil for her, gladly facing her demons for the child and sparing her some of her suffering, but she knew that all she and Lexa could do, was being there for her and trying to support her in any way.

She frowned slightly when she heard loud steps outside in the hall, it took only a moment longer, until she could distinctly make out Clarke demanding entrance into the commander's quarters. She glanced over to the bathroom quickly, relieved to spot the door completely closed. She did not wish for Marie to physically have to face Clarke right now and Anya strode to the door to the commander's quarters with fast strides, opening them and stepping out in the hall, before pulling the doors closed behind herself in only a brief moment.

When Anya turned around to face Clarke, her face showed an almost murderous expression.

"I heard that something was…" Clarke began to justify her presence.

"Be quite!" Anya seethed at the blonde woman in mounting anger.

Clarke looked visibly taken aback by the general's open hostility for a moment. "I need to speak to Lexa" she proclaimed, tone notably lower and blue eyes shining a little insecure.

Anya's lips thinned and her brown eyes glittered dangerously at the younger woman "You will not enter the commander's quarters now" she barked at her in a deathly serious tone. Anya knew that Lexa would need to speak with Clarke at one point and with the war hanging so closely over their heads, it would certainly be better if they spoke now, but she also had a lot to say to the blonde healer "You will wait in the throne room" she proclaimed strongly, turning on her heel without waiting for any reaction.

Marie frowned slightly when she returned to the main room of the commander's quarters with Lexa and Anya obviously had just returned inside as well.

Anya did not react to the girl's frown physically, trying to reign in her risen temper again quickly. The girl had a tendency to take her bad mood personally sometimes and she surely did not wish to set her off somehow wrong now, Marie should not get the impression that she was in fact angry at her although she had said different. The child would surely not believe in anything she said again if that happened.

Marie jawed visibly a moment later, the whole episode had left her drained and she still felt a little hollow.

Lexa smiled gently at the girl, nudging her towards the bed. She had inspected the little wounds on Marie's arms already and cleaned them out, they were luckily only very minor and would heal easily. "You should rest now" she said to the girl in a soft tone.

"I wanted to come with you to the conclave" Marie retorted, eyebrows creased slightly as the corners of her mouth turned downwards. She knew that they would fairly soon leave Polis towards Ice Nation, so she doubted that there would be many occasions still to spend time with the nightblood children.

"You can see them at another point" Lexa reassured the girl quickly "You are obviously exhausted, so rest".

Marie laid down on the bed only with little reluctance, but she was glad when Lexa sat down beside her mutely, so that she could cuddle up to her for a moment.

Anya watched both of them with her expression gentled and her anger muted for now, it was still simmering beneath the surface though.

It took Marie only mere moments to drift off, once Lexa lowly began to hum the melody of the old lullaby to the girl under her breath.

Chapter 214

"Clarke is waiting for you" Anya proclaimed lowly, once she was positive that Marie was truly asleep.

Lexa frowned visibly, before stubbornness flashed over her features "I do not have anything to say to her currently". She had no intention to do what Clarke had done and unleash her anger at the other woman.

"Then I have enough to say" Anya acknowledged, anger flashing plainly through her brown eyes, promising plainly that she would not care at all just how much she hurt the Skykru woman.

Lexa sighed under her breath. She knew that look on her mentor's face well, she could not let Anya face Clarke on her own right now. "Call in Gustus to look over her" she ordered towards Anya instead, before her general could leave her quarters.

Anya rolled her eyes subtly, but nodded in mute acknowledgement, while Lexa carefully began to extract herself from beneath Marie somehow without waking the girl up in the process.

Gustus readily stepped into the commander's quarters and his dark eyes showed his concern for the child plainly. He did not know exactly what had happened with Marie but he had heard the short report of the guard to the commander earlier though. "What happened with to her?" he asked lowly, eyes darting between the commander and the general.

Anya's lips thinned slightly "Marie convinced herself that she alone is responsible for Nymo's death because of something Clarke said" she narrated, irritation infused her expression.

Gustus sighed lightly, dark eyes compassionate "Poor child" he breathed out with a deep sigh. He knew first-hand how deeply compassionate the child was, remembering vividly how guilty she had felt after Sierra's execution. He had seen and heard enough of what had been done to Marie at Nia's hand to fathom just how hard it was for the girl to find her way back into a normal daily routine. She would probably need years to truly overcome all the traumas she had been forced through in such a short time.

In his opinion, the girl was exhibiting an extremely strong spirit already. She had somehow survived through the torture at Nia's hand, but she would now need to learn to live with the scars of it from now on. "I will watch over her carefully" he reassured both women in a strong tone. He did not know if he would be able to calm the girl, if she woke or suffered a nightmare, but he would still try his best. He was not completely unpractised in handling upset children after all. The girl had showed before that she trusted and liked him, so he should be able to handle her for at least a short amount of time.

Gustus did not know just what Anya and Lexa were planning to say to Clarke and he almost regretted not being present to hear it either. He had heard the fight and what the blonde woman all had hurled at the commander and although he knew that the passionate leader loved the healer deeply, he doubted that it would be enough for a reconciliation between the pair right at the moment. The commander could not afford to be distracted by a quarrel with her lover during the upcoming war, it could very well cost her her own life in the end.

Lexa nodded curtly in acknowledgement, letting a hand brush gently over the girl's forehead in a mute farewell gesture, looking down at the sleeping child for a brief moment in silence, before she stepped back from the bed and strode through the room and left her quarters, closely followed by her former mentor.

"I am just coming with you, so that you do not murder her" Lexa informed the general with a frown, tone infused with a warning. She may be out of sorts with Clarke at the moment, but she did not wish to see physical harm to befall her either.

She had already thought long and hard about how to proceed with Clarke last night. That Clarke was now in her mind basically the cause for Marie to suffer another breakdown, finalised her decision now though. Clarke had accused her of putting Marie above her duty and basically above anyone else's wellbeing and she would be doing exactly that now. She knew that she would be hurting a part of herself as well with her decision, but she could fathom just how Marie would probably feel if Clarke returned to her quarters just like that.

Anya rolled her eyes at her former second, she would surely not have killed Clarke. She knew too well how important the blonde Skykru woman was to Lexa to kill her and that doing so would hurt the young leader, no matter if they reconciled as lovers or not. She had already threatened the girl in the medical bay of Arkadia not to ever harm Lexa or Marie before. Clarke may not have physically hurt either of them now, but she had hurt the both of them deeply with her words, which was something Anya would neither forget nor forgive quickly.

"I would not have hurt you by killing her, Lexa" Anya reassured the younger woman gravely, brown eyes connecting with the familiar green orbs of her previous second.

Lexa looked at her former mentor with mute acknowledgement passing through her eyes, it spoke much of the depths of their connection that the general would put her own feelings into such a high consideration in this moment. Both of them were equally fiercely protective of Marie now and although her own feelings of anger towards Clarke were decreased by the deep love she felt for the other woman, she knew that Anya's need to protect Marie and retaliate on the child's behalf would not be lessened by such feelings. She briefly contemplated letting Anya go alone to meet with Clarke, but she knew that she needed to speak with her as well, prolonging the inevitable would not do either of them any good.

Her emotions still felt much stronger and somehow out of her control, bubbling dangerously close to the surface, after having to witness Marie suffer through such an extreme breakdown once again, but Lexa barely tried to get them reigned in now either. She absentmindedly thought that Clarke deserved to visibly see just how much she had hurt her during their one-sided fight and what consequences the fight had had for Marie additionally.

Lexa was fairly certain that the guards would have escorted Roan back into the floor for the political prisoners by now and she dearly hoped that Titus would have already left the throne room as well. The flamekeeper had been visibly irate enough that she just called an end to the meeting like that after hearing that something was wrong with Marie. She could almost vividly imagine just how the confrontation between her and Clarke would play out with the flamekeeper present and she truly hoped that Titus would not learn of her previous fight with the blonde either. The flamekeeper had never warmed at all towards Clarke, still seeing her close connection to her as a threat to her rule as the commander and he would only feel confirmed in his fear that Clarke would divert her attention from her duty and make her weaker as a consequence.

Clarke waited for Lexa in the deserted throne room, anticipation rising with every moment which passed without the other woman showing up. The halls in front of the throne room had fallen silent long ago and she felt impatience rise in her mind, pondering if returning to the commander's quarters would yield to anything.

She had heard from a guard that something had happened with Marie, but she had not heard anything specific about the girl's condition either. She did not think that they would have let the girl train already, agreeing that the girl should rest until the army left Polis, so, she had no idea how Marie might have gotten injured. The girl could have of course had some sort of accident or had been attacked by someone, but Clarke had not seen Laurel being summoned either, so it did not appear as if Marie needed the attention of a healer.

She had pondered all night on how to best apologize to Lexa, practising a pre-formulated speech until she knew it by heart. She knew that she had gone too far in their fight, but it deeply worried her that Lexa had refused to see her until now. It somehow did not feel as if that was the brunette's usual course of action, from how she had gotten to know the commander, the young leader usually immediately solved confrontations. The resignation she had spotted within the depths of her green eyes, when she had tried to address the woman before, felt as if Lexa's decision had already been made and Clarke could only pray now that the woman would even be willing to listen to her apology at all.

Clarke had been completely unprepared to be faced with the irate general a few moments ago and she had been absolutely caught off guard by the pure anger radiating off of the Trikru woman. If she had thought to have been faced with a dangerous and threatening version of Anya before, her brown eyes burning right through her like that with almost hatred had brought a new definition to the scariness of the general.

The long moments seemed to stretch into eternity and Clarke begun to fear that Lexa would not even show up at all. She was not sure if Lexa had even been aware of her presence at her door earlier or if Anya had just wanted to continue her rant in silence, away from Marie. She wondered what truly had happened to the girl, she was certain that Anya's extremely bad mood directed towards her own self and Marie's condition were somehow connected although she failed to figure out how during her wait.

She almost felt relieved when she heard footsteps echo loudly through the hall in front of the throne room again, straightening herself in anticipation. For a brief moment, she feared that it was only Anya on her own and that Lexa had refused to speak with her at all again and she held her breath in anticipation until the doors to the throne room were finally opened again.

Despite her intention to let Clarke see the whole extent of her feelings, Lexa felt a hard unbreachable façade settle over her features out of pure routine. It was almost an automatic reaction by now, instilled into her for the last years that the throne room was no place to show her feelings, but rather a place where she needed to be the strong and fierce commander, not allowed to broadcast her feelings openly, having to guard them in reasonable fear that they would be twisted against herself and exploited later. With a certain flash of sadness, Lexa realised that it somehow felt now as if she was truly anticipating the same to happen being faced with Clarke.

Lexa steeled herself again, feeling the mask of the commander slip into place fully, she had absolutely no intention to argue with Clarke at all. Internally a small fraction of her feared that she would budge, if she gave the blonde the chance to truly argue with her again. But she had made up her mind already, she could not sensibly allow Clarke back into Marie's vicinity like that, not trusting her any longer not to hurt the girl, even if unintentional. A part of her was convinced that Clarke had not intended to actually cause the girl any harm, but the fact that she had, outweighed that by far in her mind. If she truly wanted to be a mother for the girl, she was in fact required to put the child's wellbeing above anything else, only restricted by what her station as the commander could never allow, even if it meant hurting herself in the process.

She let herself feel Anya's presence only briefly behind herself and she could also sense the anger radiating off of her former mentor quiet strongly, while she let a fraction of her own anger resurface on purpose.

Lexa strode right through the opened doors into the throne room, her eyes flitted minutely through the room, fortunately only finding Clarke present and the room deserted completely otherwise.

"Lexa, I…" Clarke immediately began to speak, blue eyes showing a whirlwind of emotion and she seemed genuinely relieved to see her at all, voice laced deeply with feelings.

Anya glowered darkly at the blonde healer, hand almost casually resting on one of her daggers in a clearly threatening gesture. She may have already promised Lexa not to lethally wound the blonde, but she had said nothing about not hurting her at all, simply to emphasise her point.

Lexa raised a hand curtly, silencing the other woman quickly, jaw visibly clenched and green eyes flashing angrily, before she opened her mouth, thinking solely of Marie for the moment "You were correct in one thing, Clarke" she said in a frosted tone staring intently at the blonde woman "I will put my child's wellbeing above anything else from now on, even if it means making a hard decision for myself. I can no longer trust you around Marie, Clarke, which ultimately means that I cannot trust you around myself either…".

Internally, she added "…at the moment", a sad part of herself wished, that they would have the chance to work out their differences at some point. But she knew that she could not let herself be distracted in the upcoming months, she may be causing her own death, if she was. Lexa knew in the depths of her heart, that her feelings for Clarke would not simply vanish like that, but it was her own choice to act on them or not and she was actively choosing against acting on them for now. After the Mountain, she had resigned herself to the fact that Clarke and her would never have a chance at love and it seemed that she had been foolish to allow herself to believe otherwise.

Clarke gasped audibly at the young leader's words. She could see the grim determination burning in Lexa's green eyes and she felt her heart being teared to tatters at the rejection radiating off of the brunette. Her eyes which normally looked so gentle and expressive, only truly showed anger now and maybe a hint of regret at how things had played out between them. She briefly wondered why Lexa could not trust her around Marie any longer, but she pushed the question from her mind. She had known beforehand that dragging the child into the argument between them, had been a grave error on her part and a small part of her had also feared that Lexa would not easily forgive that.

The rational part of her mind had, even during their fight, been very aware that Lexa was also not to blame for Nymo's death, but she had been too angry to think straight, desperately wanting to hurt the young leader, not caring in that moment about how to achieve that. If possible, she would go back in time and take everything back which she had said, but this would never be possible.

After she had returned to Polis with the commander, still not really on speaking terms, the young leader had given her time, respect and space, only caring that she was safe and not demanding anything in return. A small part of herself realised that she had unintentionally destroyed a huge part of their connection during their fight.

She had seriously expected Lexa to at least hear her out, hoping that the deep love which connected them would be enough to ease them back together. She had expected it to be difficult, convinced that Lexa would need time to fully trust her again. But she had obviously underestimated the hurt her words had truly caused the commander.

"Lexa…" she tried to interrupt the brunette woman, feeling her eyes misting over with tears, as her voice broke slightly. To her utter dismay, the commander seemed to swallow only once, before she clenched her jaw, her expression had turned completely blank a second later again.

"You are welcome to stay within the tower and continue your work as a healer here" Lexa continued, not reacting in any visible form to Clarke's obvious sorrow "If you insist on joining the army into Azgeda, you will travel with the rest of Skykru" she added after a second. She only met Clarke's pained gaze for a short moment later, turning on her heel and striding from the room as quickly as she had come. She could hear Clarke trying to follow her and Anya obviously stepping right in front of her and intercepting her. She stepped out of the throne room, feeling her breath shudder painfully in her chest. Although she was convinced that she had made the right decision, it still pained her deeply.

Anya watched Lexa leave from the corner of her eyes, stopping Clarke physically from following the commander, her brown eyes glowering threateningly at the younger woman.

"Lexa might not have much to say to you, but I do" the general seethed at the healer. She was unfaced completely by the display of tears in her blue eyes, the memory of Marie being completely catatonic too fresh in her mind to now be able to muster much empathy for the blonde healer, briefly remembering the sheen of tears in Lexa's green eyes in the medical bay of Arkadia, just after Clarke had woken and immediately used Lexa's lowered defences to lash out at her former second.

"What did she mean with me harming Marie, I did not harm her?!" Clarke interrupted the Trikru woman, desperation making her braver for the moment, ignoring Anya's obvious anger.

But Clarke had been utterly unprepared for Anya's austere features turning even darker at her question, brown eyes blazing visibly with barely contained anger. "I have warned you before about ever attempting to hurt Lexa or Marie, you may not have hurt them physically, but you did hurt the both of them, deeply" Anya barked out hotly, stepping closer to the blonde healer.

Clarke winced visibly at the remained of their long past conversation in the medical bay of Arkadia. Lexa and Anya had both already deeply loved Marie back then and if anything, their love for the girl had only grown since then; she suddenly felt extremely shabby for having tried to wound Lexa with probably the only thing where she truly allowed herself to feel and be herself.

"The words, you have hurled at Lexa during your ridiculous fight, have caused Marie to believe that she alone has to feel guilty and responsible for her friend's death" Anya informed the younger woman in a dark tone, expression hard and unforgiving.

"I have not said…" Clarke tried to justify herself with a frown, but was silenced by the general immediately.

"If you value your tongue, I would stay silent in your shoes now!" Anya thundered directly into the younger woman's face "Lexa may still care for you too much to allow me to kill you, but I can cause you significant harm without killing you" she added, brown eyes gleaming dangerously.

Clarke shuddered at the open threat and she did not doubt for a second that the general would make it true either. She was also not be stupid enough to assume that she would be able to protect herself against the Trikru woman either.

"You have blamed Lexa for his death, telling her that she let the boy die, not doing anything" Anya eluded, fingers tightening around the handle of her dagger visibly "Lexa could not have saved Nymo, but Marie might have been able to and according to your logic, Marie concluded that she let him die, causing her to have another breakdown".

Clarke winced visibly, regret flashing over her features openly at the general's words. She had already been a witness to one of the child's breakdowns before and she knew how unsettled Lexa and Anya had been by it back then, all of them hungering for revenge against Nia. If she truly had caused the girl to breakdown again, it was no wonder at all, that the general and the commander both did not wish her within Marie's vicinity any longer. The realisation of what her words had caused felt like a physical punch through her heart and she gulped audibly, feeling her heart drop into her stomach.

"If you ever hurt Lexa or Marie again, no matter how, even the commander will not be able to save you then" Anya threatened darkly, stepping even closer, so that her breath ghosted over Clarke's face notably, prompting the younger woman to stumble back slightly "You will not be welcomed on the top floor of the tower any longer and you will only be allowed to stand in meetings if specifically ordered to" she proclaimed hotly, staring down the younger woman for a moment.

Chapter 215

Lexa hesitated in front of the closed doors to the throne room for a moment. A part of her deeply longed to return inside and take back what she had just said to Clarke, but she knew that she should not, she had to prioritise Marie now.

She felt a deep sadness engulf her senses as the realisation settled into her mind that she had efficiently broken things off with Clarke now.

She briefly contemplated entering the elevator and seeking out the conclave now, but she had fortunately not giving an exact time of her planned visit to the flamekeeper and Lexa doubted that she could hold herself together now, if she was physically reminded right now of the loss of the five nightblood children, seeing their numbers reduced so cruelly.

So, instead Lexa signalled her intent to return to the top floor of the tower and she cursed herself a sentimental idiot when she felt tears burn in her eyes, feeling her heart shudder painfully in her chest as well. She could allow herself to analyse Clarke's reactions to her words in the privacy of her own quarters, as she could not have exhibited weakness in the throne room only moments ago.

She entered her quarters only moments later, trying to swallow past the lump lodged in her throat. If she had thought that she would feel better after having officially ended her relationship with Clarke, she was sorely mistaken. Lexa felt as if she had just broken off a huge part of her own heart in the process as well.

Her green eyes immediately went over to her bed, spotting Marie still asleep in it, with Gustus sitting on a stool right next to the bed. She briefly met the burly guards gaze, feeling the rest of calm façade crumble completely.

Gustus watched the young leader intently, frowning slightly at the open exhibition of sorrow on her features. He wondered if the blonde Skykru woman had fought again with the commander and protectiveness flashed over his own face.

Lexa swallowed again, getting rid of the shoulder pauldron, red sash and her long coat, feeling as she was threatening to suffocate under the weight of her station and its regalia right now. "Clarke's allowance to enter at her will is retracted" she proclaimed, voice thick and green eyes pained. She felt even weaker for letting Gustus see her in her current state of mind.

Gustus nodded with a slightly cautious expression, the commander did not have to spell out what this change of order meant and he found the blonde woman more than a little infuriating, always pushing beyond the rules, disregarding their traditions and cultures with almost every step, he knew how much she meant to Lexa and he could see plainly how the young woman was suffering under the weight of her own decision.

He stood up from the stool, briefly looking down at Marie, fortunately the child had slept without any kind of disturbances so far. He went over towards the commander and in an uncharacteristically show of support, he squeezed the younger woman's shoulders reassuringly. The sheen of tears glistening in her green eyes felt slightly painful to himself as well. "She slept peacefully so far" he said into the heavy silence, only broken by the commander's audibly shuddering breathing "I shall return to my post" he added, letting his hands rest on Lexa's shoulders for a moment longer.

Lexa nodded mutely, not trusting her own voice not to break were she attempted to speak at this moment. She watched him leave in silence, stripping down to her pants and her undershirt quickly, before she stepped over to the bed.

Lexa looked down at the sleeping child and she felt a flash of warmth carry through her mind, while she bent down and pressed a light kiss to Marie's forehead, swiping a stray strand of hair out of her face as well.

The girl's mouth pulled into a light smile, sighing lightly under her breath at the gentle caress, moving the slightest bit under the furs, before she settled again.

Lexa felt her heart giving a painful squeeze as her gaze flitted to the other side of the bed and by now familiar sight of blonde wild locks distributed around the pillows and blue eyes looking up at her lovingly, flashed up in front of her eyes unbidden. A bout of fresh tears burnt harshly in her eyes and Lexa's breathing shuddered even stronger now.

She stepped back from the bed, walking into the bathroom quickly, feeling that she was only moments from losing control over her feelings and breaking to pieces. She did not know, if she would ever be able to piece her heart back together now though, nor if she even should attempt to.

Lexa stood in front of the sink, looking at her complexion in the mirror hanging above it. Although she had not shed any tears yet, her eyes were slightly glassy and red-rimmed already. She could see the first tear rolling down her cheek unbidden and it seemed to prompt her to lose the reign over her feelings completely, as sorrow consumed her mind.

Her hands desperately held onto the sink, trying to hold herself upwards, as the first sob escaped past her lips and no matter how hard she clenched her jaw, she could not keep her grief at bay right now.

Lexa had not truly allowed herself to grief for the fallen nightblood children, her mind had processed it, but only on a logical level, knowing that she needed to send out more flamekeeper scouts, searching even harder for other potential successors to her station.

She had seen the pain of their deaths in the faces of the surviving nightblood children, as well as in Marie's. But Lexa had only briefly allowed herself to feel even a fraction of this pain during the long hours of the vigil during the funeral rites, needing to remain controlled and strong even then.

She had also not wished to grief for them in front of Marie, not intending to add to child's own sorrow. As the fall-out with Clarke had already began then, Lexa had bottled up all her feelings, pushing them to the far-end of her mind.

Even within her own mind, Lexa had not been able to escape the guilt of so may of her proteges dying. The past commanders had plainly reminded her last night that she was a failure at protecting the conclave. All of them had been groomed with the mantra of "love being weakness" and that "being the commander meant to be alone", so she had found none understanding among their ranks for her fallout with Clarke either.

But added together now with the bitter pain of breaking things off with Clarke, everything came crushing down all at once and she was powerless to contain the sounds of her inner turmoil any longer, nor did she had enough strength left to try.

Marie woke with a frown, she was confused initially why she had been asleep, obviously in the commander's quarters, during daytime at all. She could see the sun shine into the room plainly. Her frown deepened when the memories of what had transpired rushed back to the forefront of her mind and she quickly looked around the rooms for Lexa and Anya.

Her brows furrowed in confusion, when she failed to spot either of the two women and her lips turned downwards at the feeling of loneliness flashing through her mind briefly.

She frowned again, when she thought to hear sounds of someone sobbing and her grey eyes narrowed at the door to the bathroom, just now realizing that it had not been closed completely. Marie stood from the bed quickly, a memory of Anya crying on the floor of the bathroom weeks ago flashed up in her mind.

Marie pushed the door to the bathroom open cautiously and she stopped for a moment at the sight. She felt her own lips tremble at seeing Lexa so obviously sad like that. She did not know why, but seeing the woman like this, was alarming on a certain level and Marie could not remember having seen the strong leader like this before.

"Mommy…" she addressed Lexa with a slightly shaky voice, hesitating in front of her momentarily, grey eyes staring up at her emphatically.

Lexa whirled around slightly and she took in a shuddering breath at spotting the girl in front of her eyes. It was obvious that seeing her like this was frightening Marie by the girl's expression and hesitation to physically touch her.

"It is alright…" Lexa forced the words passed her lips, not entirely believing into them right at this moment herself.

Marie's expression seemed to fall completely and her shoulders hunched visibly "I … I am … I am sorry … I did not mean to make you sad …" she apologized, grey eyes big and honest.

Lexa shook her head, wiping at her tears quickly, trying to get her breathing back under control as well. Her breathing shuddered again, when Marie stepped closer to her and wound her arms wound her midriff. "It is not your fault" she reassured the girl, somehow keeping her tone calm against the inner whirlwind of her feelings.

Marie looked up at the commander with a slight frown.

"Are you feeling better now?" Lexa asked the child calmly, hoping to somehow divert her attention from herself again. She not intended for Marie to see her like this at all.

Marie nodded cautiously, grey eyes intently staring at Lexa "What happened?" she questioned almost hesitant.

"Nothing with which you need to concern yourself with, Marie" Lexa evaded the question, letting go of the sink and letting her arms pull Marie into a firmer envelope.

Marie was dissatisfied with the answer, sensing that the commander was unwilling to tell her something important, but she hugged Lexa right back, hoping to somehow ease some of her obvious pain. She wondered if the commander was grieving for her lost nightbloods as well and she thought that to be a likely answer. "You are allowed to grieve too" Marie said compassionately, echoing the woman's earlier words.

Lexa paused at the child's words, swallowing heavily, as she felt more tears well up in her eyes. She knew that she would be hypocritic if she used the argument with Marie, but did not apply the same standards to herself.

Marie stretched onto her tiptoes, catching a tear rolling down the woman's cheek with a gentle finger "You do not have to be the strong commander now" she voiced softly, looking up at Lexa with honest grey eyes.

Lexa was slightly taken aback by the child's words. She had been drilled since early childhood in what it meant to be the commander and she very rarely thought of herself removed from her station. She was always the commander, but the girl was correct that she could allow herself this brief moment of weakness.

She tightened her arms around the child, speechless for the moment, placing her chin lightly on Marie's head, simply allowing herself to just be for the moment. Not thinking about the war or her duties of the commander, but instead only feeling the girl's warmth warming her heart again slowly, even allowing her sorrow to pass through her mind again, before finally accepting what had occurred during the last past days and storing her grief back into the corners of her mind, where it usually rested.

Marie sensed that she was not required to say anything right now, but she still mumbled "love you, Mommy" against Lexa's shirt and felt the commander tightening her arms around herself in a mute acknowledgment.

Anya returned to the commander's quarters shortly after having spoke with Clarke. She had remained in front of the throne room just for a moment, making sure that the blonde girl would not attempt to follow her back to Lexa now, but it seemed that her words had sunken into her thick skull.

She frowned when she failed to locate Lexa and Marie. She had half expected to find the commander lying in bed together with the girl. The door towards the balcony was closed, so she knew that Lexa had not gone outside either.

Anya checked the bathroom instead and she leaned against the doorframe for a silent moment, simply observing Marie and Lexa with each other. The child had obviously not noticed her approach, but Lexa's green eyes minutely flicked up to her, their gazes bandying.

It was obvious that her former second had cried bitter tears before, her green eyes still appeared slightly reddened, but Lexa seemed to regain a hold over her emotions in front of her eyes at the moment.

For the brief flash of a second, Anya felt reminded of a slightly similar scene, now several years in the past. After Lexa had discovered Costia's head at her bedside, she had held the young commander for hours, while she had wallowed in her grief. She had even taken Lexa back into her own room, letting her sleep with her in her bed instead of the commander's quarters, holding her through her night terrors, desperately trying to somehow console the heartbroken young woman. It had continued for several days, each morning Lexa somehow pulled herself back together, executing her duties mostly as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, but she broke down each night. Anya had been there to catch her, when it happened. On the one particular morning, which she was reminded off now, Lexa had spoken alone with Titus on the balcony and Anya had seen the woman almost flee to the bathroom, crying bitterly again, while Titus had just left. She had followed Lexa and offered her consolation once again, but in front of her eyes, the commander's features had changed, the light had dimmed in her green eyes, replaced by cold and hard orbs instead. She had tried reaching out to her former second, but had been told to pack her things instead, being sent from the capitol to the outskirt of Trikru, never to return to Polis if not specifically ordered to.

Being reminded of that scene, Anya internally prayed that Lexa would not shut herself off again now, but it seemed that Marie had an immense impact on the commander. Instead of coldness replacing the sorrow in the young woman's eyes, it was pure love now as she gazed down at the child in her arms and Anya felt deep relieve course through her mind. A slight part of her chided herself for even thinking for a brief moment that Lexa might choose to distance herself from Marie in an attempt to escape her own pain. She was aware that Lexa had basically been presented with the choice between her love for Marie and her feelings for Clarke, so the decision was bound to have hurt Lexa deeply as well. The fact the Lexa had even put Marie's wellbeing above her own feelings truly confirmed just how far her former second was willing to go for the child's sake.

She cleared her throat audibly, alerting Marie to her presence as well. The child loosened her arms around Lexa quickly, a look of startlement flashed over her face and she seemed relieved to only spot Anya and no one else.

Marie looked over at the general with a sheepish expression. "I have not made Lexa so sad" she felt the need to justify herself.

Anya snorted under her breath at the girl's childish reaction, while Lexa looked down at the girl with furrowed brows.

"Do not feel guilty for that, Marie" Lexa admonished the girl with a frown. Marie feeling guilty for something else was truly the last thing they needed right now.

Marie nodded her head with a slightly sheepish expression, a faint blush coloured her cheeks.

"Are you feeling tired still?" Lexa asked the girl kindly, brushing a lock of blonde hair out of her face.

Marie shook her head with a slight smile, she truly felt much better and rested already.

Lexa looked down at the girl for a moment in silent contemplation "You can still accompany me to the conclave then" she offered in a light tone. She was not entirely convinced that doing so, was a good idea, but it was probably the better option than taking Marie to meet with the Skykru delegation later in the day.

Marie nodded immediately as a bigger smile enlightened her features.

"We can have lunch together with them" Lexa proclaimed, she knew that it would not be long until food would be served to the children. She had ordered Titus to let the conclave off of their lessons for a few days, at least until Aden and June had healed, offering some time for the children to grief their fallen brothers and sisters in privacy as well.

Anya said that she would go and check in on with Ontari in the meantime and go down for a little bit to the training pits as well. "Behave yourself" she directed at the girl, before she left in a slightly strict tone.

Marie frowned at the leaving woman's back "I will" she called behind her, a pout on her lips.

Lexa smirked slightly at the child's grey eyes glaring lightly behind Anya sulking. "Do not mind her" she placated the girl with amusement dancing through her green eyes, while she put her boots back on and slipped on a warmer shirt as well. She motioned Marie to do the same as well. There was no need for her to wear the regalia of the commander to see the conclave.

Marie's mood truly seemed to have improved and Lexa let herself be contagioned with it, letting a slight smile take over her features as well.

Marie's smile dimmed notably when her gaze fell on Clarke's drawing supplies distributed on one of the tables "When is Clarke coming back?" she asked. She knew that the woman had stayed with Nymo for his death and slept in another room last night after their fight, but she was positive that she would return to the commander's quarters soon enough. She frowned slightly when she spotted a flash of pain pass over Lexa's face momentarily.

"Clarke will not live here any longer" Lexa relayed to Marie honestly, closely watching the girl's reaction. She had seen the way Marie had looked at the drawing supplies at the table and she felt confirmed in her decision that Marie would not be doing well in close proximity with Clarke.

Marie's frown deepened a little in thought. She could fathom what the woman's words meant and she realised that Lexa had obviously chosen not to forgive Clarke. That would probably be the reason why Lexa had been so sad earlier. "I am sorry…" she said towards Lexa after a moment with empathic grey eyes "You are sad because of her…".

Lexa sighed deeply, shaking her head slightly at the girl "It does not matter right now" she reassured the girl, pushing the flash of sorrow from her mind forcefully "Now, come on" she addressed her, holding out a hand for Marie to take and leading her out of her quarters.

The atmosphere inside of the room of the conclave was rather solemn. It was obvious that the children had not spent their hours playing, like they usually would if they were offered free time.

Aden and June had somehow moved two beds together and the three younger children were cuddled up to them, while Aden read a book to them.

The sandy-haired boy fell silent immediately at Lexa's entry and his sadness was reflected on all of the other's faces.

Marie looked up at Lexa unsurely for a moment, before she followed her instinct and stepped over to the bed "What are you reading?" she asked curiously, smiling slightly at all of them.

Lexa followed after Marie and sat down on the edge of one of the beds and shortly let her gaze flicker over all of the children.

"Harry Potter and the philosopher's stone" Aden answered with a slight smile that did not quite reach his blue eyes.

"Lexa began to read that to me as well" Marie retorted with shining eyes "How far are you?" she added another question, climbing into Lexa's lap without further thought.

Lexa encircled the child with her arms, pulling her into a more comfortable position "You can continue until lunch is served" she addressed Aden, the blonde boy seemed to obviously expect for her to put a stop to their quite little moment.

Aden inclined his head with a fleeting smile, adjusting his grip on the book "Chapter Halloween" he answered Marie's question before continuing to read out loud at Boo's insistent prompting "Malfoy could not believe his eyes on the next morning…"

Lexa watched the children with each other, feeling Marie settle against her upper body comfortably. She was highly thankful that Aden and June were obviously taking care of Boo, Kyla and Ryno. She was certain that the nightbloods would stick together during her upcoming absence as well. She direly hoped that it would be a long time until these children had to face off each other, competing against their brothers and sister for the mantle of the commander.

Chapter 216

Marie listened intently to Aden's reading, a smile curved her mouth happily, when the sandy-haired boy began to include variations in his voice, altering it in a different way for every character having a part in a dialogue.

"You got to make Draco more edgy" Boo interrupted the boy, dark eyes demanding.

"Yeah" Ryno chimed in eagerly "You made him more arrogant before" his tone carried a hint of accusation that Aden seemed to have tamed his style of reading.

"You missed the sneer" Kyla added in the softest tone of all three of them, blue eyes looking up at Aden, from her place curled up with June.

Aden held up his hands in mock surrender, pulling a slight giggle from the three younger children "Alright, alright…" His blue eyes flashed slightly, before he continued, making the characters clearer, exaggerating the variations again like he had done before the commander arrived.

Marie giggled freely at the nightblood boy's interpretation of Snape's character, face lighting up with pure joy, thinking about anything else but Aden's reading forgotten for the moment.

Lexa leaned back against the headboard of the bed slightly, listening to Aden's words absentmindedly. The boy seemed to succeed well enough in diverting the other's attention from grieve.

Lunch being brought in long moments later, silenced Aden again. "Just a few more moments" Boo urged Aden with big innocent eyes.

Lexa smiled slightly at young boy, it seemed that having reduced Titus' influence over the younger nightblood children showed some effect. Luna's son still expressed himself more freely than Kyla and Ryno did, who had both spent more time under Titus' sole tutelage.

"It is time for lunch now, Boo" she admonished the small boy in a gentle tone, his dark eyes immediately snapped to her and he fell silent, when his shoulders dropped slightly, she added mollifyingly "If Aden is willing, I am sure he will continue his reading after lunch".

Aden nodded in agreement "Let us eat then" he said, closing the book decisively for now.

"You can go back to Anya now" Lexa proclaimed to Marie, once they had left the rooms of the conclave. The dinner had passed peacefully and Lexa was a little calmed by the knowledge that the nightblood children were doing as well as expected considering the loss they had all just suffered.

Marie frowned slightly "Can't I stay with you?" she asked, tone whiny. She did not know if Anya had returned yet from the commander's quarters and she guessed that Ontari was still sleeping, she did not want to sit alone in the rooms, just waiting for someone to join her.

Lexa's lips thinned slightly, she had no real intention to take the girl with her to meet the Skykru delegation which was supposed to arrive shortly. "There is no need for you to greet the Skykru delegation with me" she reasoned with the girl.

Marie's eyes flashed with determination "But I want to" she retorted vehemently, giving the commander her best innocent eyes.

Lexa felt her resistance give away quickly and she inclined her head with a sigh "If you insist on it" she admonished the girl and huffed slightly, when the girl smiled immediately in success. She had been unable to identify what exactly had flashed through Marie's grey eyes, but she guessed that it would be better to at least know where the girl was than leaving her on her own right now.

"How many of Skykru are coming?" Marie asked on their way to the base floor of the tower, honest curiosity burning in her grey eyes.

"Around twenty according to their ambassador" Lexa answered easily, although she did not know for sure why the girl seemed interest in this kind of information. Marie had not exhibited any kind of interest in the clan into which she had been born before.

Marie nodded, wondering absentmindedly if Clarke would also be part of the army now. She barely paid the guards falling into step behind them any mind, being used to the constant presence of guards around the commander by now.

"You can still return inside" Lexa offered to the child in a low tone. Anya had told her that Marie still reacted skittishly when a crowd gathered and she knew that the arrival of Skykru would definitely grow a crowd. She knew that it would not be possible to shield the girl from everything which could potentially sent her into a panic, nor would it be sensible to try. But after having seen the girl having a breakdown just a few hours ago, she felt slightly overprotective of her now.

Marie frowned when she spotted definite worry in the woman's green eyes. She knew that the war would be going to start soon and she would be expected to be at Lexa's and Anya's side then, so she shook her head, denying the commander's offer. She did not wish to assume that Lexa thought that she was too weak to be outside in the crowd now, but it felt like that awfully much. She straightened herself and schooled her features, before they stepped out of the tower together.

Marie almost regretted her decision to insist on accompanying the commander, when she noticed just how crowded the streets were. It seemed almost as if every single citizen was on the streets right now, added to all the warriors which were still in the capitol as well, as not all of them had been sent to remove the threats of the bandits. When she really looked closer at the people gathering in the streets, she noticed quickly that it rather were almost only warriors from the different clans crowding the streets, obviously eager to catch a glimpse of Skykru.

Lexa watched the girl carefully from the corners of her eyes. It was obvious that the girl was much more affected by the crowd than she let on, but the little ticks Marie showed, gave her away easily. Her grey eyes looked around the crowd skittishly and Marie walked so close to Lexa, that the commander had to step carefully or she would have stumbled over the girl.

"When are they going to arrive?" Marie asked lowly over her shoulder, grey eyes only stopping their almost frantic movements for a moment to glance up at the commander.

"Within the hour" Lexa retorted easily and a slight smirk played around the corners of her mouth at the girl's easily audible groan "I did not order you to come" she remarked, keeping her tone light even through the brief flash of irritation.

Marie winced slightly, but otherwise did not react to the woman's words. She was well aware that as the commander's second, she was technically expected to stand beside the leader whenever Lexa left the tower and she guessed that she would only be able through showing her loyalty and support to silence the voices doubting her allegiance. She remembered being there when they had last seen the Skykru delegation off as well and she had found the whole thing totally unnecessary back then, still wondering what had been the point of watching them climb into the rover and drive away. Marie guessed that welcoming another clan's delegation made much more sense, showing hospitality and respect that way.

Marie frowned slightly when spotted Clarke standing beside Monty at the gates of the wall to the inner circle of Polis. She instinctively gravitated even closer to Lexa, but her brows creased when she noticed both women banding a look shortly. The look of deep hurt flashing through the commander's eyes was easily notable and from the slight distance Clarke's blue eyes looked red rimmed and puffy as if she had just stopped crying.

Despite all the eyes watching them at the moment, Marie stepped even closer to Lexa, grasping onto one of her hands and keeping a strong hold of it, she was surprised a little that the commander did not pry her hand away after a moment but seemed content to hold her hand instead. She smiled up slightly at the woman and was relieved when the sadness seemed to leave the brunette's green eyes. Internally Marie wondered what had prompted Lexa to decide not to forgive Clarke, it was painfully obvious that both women longed to be with each other. A small part of her was happy that Clarke would not return to the commander's quarters, hoping that maybe Lexa would agree to have Anya, Ontari and her stay a little longer in her private rooms. She mutely contemplated Lexa again just what had happened between the both of them, but she was well aware that the commander would not be likely to give an answer to her right now, so she filed the question away in her mind for later. She leaned back slightly against Lexa and although she plainly saw the guards standing in a tight circle around them frown, Lexa did nothing to signal her that she had to move away either.

Lexa let an arm subtly snake around the girl's shoulder, feeling the warmth her smaller body emitted slowly seep into her own consciousness. Seeing Clarke standing there with the very physical signs of just how much her decision must have hurt the blonde, felt like yet another punch right through her heart, but Lexa still kept her expression blank, focusing as much as possible on Marie instead. She knew that she should not display her affection for the child so clearly out in the open, but on the other hand it would be useless to try to hide their deep connection, too many people already knew that she felt for the child. She had already painted a large target on Marie's back by allowing the girl to grow so close to her, but she could and would not undo so either now. Lexa was aware that she would need to be careful of just how much affection she displayed to the girl in settings like this, carefully judging that the other leaders would not get the impression that she might have gotten weak only to have her position questioned again, but she thought that showing their connection towards Skykru could not harm.

Lexa was still hesitant to fully trust the clan and she had only hesitantly accepted Monty's relayed offer that Raven wished to join the army as well, bringing potent explosives with her. She had only accepted with the knowledge that Nia would not hesitate in using every little advantage the queen thought to have at her hand, uncaring about just how many warriors would die needlessly in the war.

Lexa only took a little step back from the girl and ended their physical contact, when she noticed Titus' arrival together with the other ambassadors.

Marie frowned slightly at the loss of contact, but she straightened immediately once she noticed Titus glaring heatedly at her.

Clarke had returned to her old room after Anya had left her alone in the throne room. For a short moment, she had hoped that Lexa would return to her side and they could find a solution together, but when the brunette had not returned after a few moments, long after Anya's steps had fallen silent, she had to admit defeat, tears blurred her gaze on the way. She had sunk down on the edge of the mattress, tears falling down her cheeks, clutching a pillow to her chest as desperate sobs wracked her frame.

She had always been able to spot the little variations of Lexa's expression and she could not forget just how tortured the brunette had appeared when she proclaimed her choice. Outwardly the brunette had portrayed the façade of the commander to the point, jaw clenched and lips thinned slightly, expression otherwise stony and even cold, but what had given her away was the deep pain within her green eyes. Normally the woman would stare you down with her intense gaze, but Clarke had only seen sorrow and even regret flash through her eyes.

Not knowing, what else to do, Clarke had taken up the art supplies, which had remained in her room and began to fabricate a sketch of Lexa. She had already drawn the woman several times before, but now she drew the commander crying, like she had seen her cry when they assumed that Marie had been killed.

Absentmindedly, Clarke wondered if Lexa would be crying now as well, when tears fell down on the parchment, smudging some of the lines she had drawn already.

She was disturbed some time later by a knock at her door. For a fleeting moment Clarke hoped that Lexa was seeking her out, but when she opened the door, she was greeted by Monty.

The Asian boy frowned, when he looked at Clarke. "What the hell has happened to you?" he asked worriedly, taking in her tear strained face.

"Nothing" Clarke retorted immediately, shoving the drawing under a pillow "I will be right back" she proclaimed. She stepped into the bathroom quickly, washing away as much of the signs of her grieve as possible. She had nearly forgotten that the delegation of her people would be arriving in Polis shortly.

"Are you really fine?" Monty checked, once Clarke returned. He did not know what might have happened, but he had been surprised already to have been sent here to retrieve Clarke. Many people knew well enough that Clarke lived in the commander's quarters now.

Clarke nodded and she tried to muster a decisive expression, but she knew well enough that her smile was wobbly at best.

"I was surprised that you are not in the commander's…" Monty said lowly on their way to the elevator.

Clarke's blue eyes flashed minutely with something he could not identify quickly enough, before the blonde shook her head.

"I have returned to this room" Clarke proclaimed, voice wavering only on the edges.

Monty's brows scrunched together in confusion "The commander and you…?" he let his words trail off uncertainly.

Clarke shook her head, swallowing down the lump lodged in her throat.

Monty's dark eyes flashed angrily for a moment, but before he could open his mouth, Clarke shook her head again, silencing him.

"Do not blame Lexa" Clarke said hotly "It is my fault…" her tone was deeply laced with regret and she wondered if she would be granted the chance at some point to try to earn back Lexa's trust.

Monty frowned again, but he nodded in acceptance. He had come to know a little more of the woman, the commander actually was, but the leader was still an enigma to him mostly. "What happens now…" he paused for a moment, uncertain how to voice his question without sounding rude, so he continued again "…with Skykru?"

Clarke's eyes narrowed at the boy "What are you implying now?"

"I do not know, what happened between you" Monty began to justify himself "Neither am I required to know any specifics. But you do not seem to have separated on good terms, how will this impact our people? Have you thought about that even once?"

Clarke's lips thinned dangerously, she would not even consider for a single second that Lexa would be petty enough to take out their break up on all of Skykru. The brunette was too selfless and honourable to do so, she had even allowed her first love's murderer into the coalition after all.

"How can you seriously ask that?!" Clarke retorted, voice rising with every word "You have heard her orders that even this upcoming war is only about finally taking out Nia and not erasing all of Ice Nation. So, you really think that she would even for a moment consider to take it out on Skykru?!"

Monty held up his hands in surrender "Alright, sorry" he offered, when he noticed the tears glittering in Clarke's eyes.

The way out of the tower was silent and strained. Monty did not know what to say to the blonde girl. They had not spent much time with each other in the last months, as he had begun to spent more and more time with Kitara. The handmaid and he had grown much closer over time and they were thinking about taking the final step and bonding to each other as well soon.

The streets were much more crowded than Monty had expected and in Kitara's presence, he was usually not standing out so starkly among the citizens of Polis any longer. He had begun to dress mostly in their clothes as well, picking up their language with time.

They came to a stop in front of the wall to the inner circle of Polis and Monty noticed Clarke hesitating for a single moment and when he followed her gaze, he spotted the commander and Marie in a slight distance.

He frowned when he noticed how longingly the blonde was looking at the commander now and he wondered just what might have driven them apart. For Clarke's sake he hoped that it would only be a temporary separation.

Seeing Lexa in the distance and not being able to go over to her, felt like a slow torture to Clarke. She tried to force her eyes in the direction of the wall, but her graze gravitated back towards the young leader every few moments again.

Despite herself, Clarke felt a bittersweet smile flit over her features at the sight of Lexa snaking an arm around Marie's shoulder, the child looking up at the brunette for a moment with a pure trusting smile expression. It was extremely rare of the commander to display affection like this openly and she hoped that it was no sign of the fact just how unsettled the young leader was by what transpired.

Her whole body was almost screaming at her, to move over towards Lexa, trying to ask for forgiveness, but the way with which the commander carried herself, austere and serene, unapproachable mask firmly in place, rooted Clarke to her spot. She frowned slightly, when she noticed Lexa moving a little away from Marie, when the ambassadors and the flamekeeper arrived and she felt a little flash of sadness at the sight of it. She had hoped that Lexa would one day truly realize that love did not have to be a weakness, but it seemed as if the commander still did not believe as such.

The faint sound of a roaring engine, finally made Clarke focus on the portal to the wall and she straightened herself. She did not know exactly just how would be arriving now, she had not cared to find out, the last days had been too hectic and chaotic for that.

The roaring quickly got louder and all around her, Clarke could see the grounders turn in anticipation as well, curiosity plain on their faces. She hoped that her people would do nothing to turn this almost friendly interest into suspicious hate again, there were enough grounders still hating Skykru as it was already.

Clarke was slightly surprised to see Bellamy exit one of the rovers at first. She had not seen the dark-haired young man after his trial of redemption and she had never expected that he would willingly join an army of the grounders, she hoped that he truly had had a change of mind in the past months. A few of the grounders around her seemed to remember Bellamy as well and even more surprisingly their reactions were not hostile at all. A frown flitted over her face again, Anya had criticised her on the fact that she still did not understand anything about their traditions, values and sense of honour and apparently the general was correct once again.

A slight smile settled over her features, when she spotted Raven climbing out of the passenger seat of one of the rovers. She had not gotten used yet to seeing Raven moving around without her brace again.

As the chancellor Markus Kane had also travelled to Polis and Clarke saw him approaching the commander with a friendly smile on his face. She tried to focus her attention on Raven instead, who was approaching her with fast strides, together with Bellamy. Both of them smiled at her in greeting and Clarke readily enveloped them.

"You're not standing with the commander" Raven remarked, a weird mixture between a slight frown and a tease passed over her face.

Clarke shook her head in the negative, wanting to silence the mechanic for now and she hated herself to feel fresh tears burn in her eyes and a lump lodged into her throat again "Later" she croaked out.

Raven and Bellamy bandied a worried look, but sensed that prying further now, would not be good and focused on Monty instead.

"Woah, you sure as hell have gone full on grounder mode" Raven commented with a smirk tugging at her lips.

Monty laughed lightly "It is good to see you to, Raven". He knew that he had changed his appearance much in the last months, he had even begun to learn some fighting techniques and built up a light sheen of muscles, together with the rougher grounder clothes, Monty was convinced that he did not appear as much of the gangly adolescent computer nerd anymore.

They waited for a few minutes until Kane had officially been welcomed by the commander, before Clarke led them towards the tower, promising to show them her room.

Chapter 217

Marie waited patiently for Lexa to officially welcome Markus in the capitol and she subtly let her eyes drift over all of the members of Skykru who had climbed out of the rovers. She quickly counted that twenty-two others had arrived in the city with Markus and her brows scrunched together in confusion, when she spotted Bellamy among them, immediately heeding over to Clarke. She could still vividly remember how he had looked during his rite of redemption and she had assumed that he would never set foot into the capitol again. But she did not recognize most of the others, she knew that she had seen some of them in passing on the Ark, but these memories now seemed to belong to an entirely different life and had slowly become fuzzy around the edges.

From the corner of her eyes, Marie could see a slight sliver of irritation flash through Lexa's green eyes who had obviously noticed the reunion between Bellamy and Clarke as well. She frowned slightly when she noticed how Lexa stiffened when the two hugged each other in the distance.

Markus did not seem to notice the shift in the commander's mood and his pleasure to be welcomed back in the capitol seemed to truly be genuine. "… hopefully we will be invited to Polis under better circumstances in the future" Marie heard him address the commander, once she returned her attention to the man.

She had only lightly inclined her head in greeting to Markus, but had stayed firmly next to Lexa and internally hoped that the official talk would be finished soon. The wait had stretched far too long for her liking and Marie thought that she should have probably sought out Anya instead. She groaned internally, when one ambassador after the other stepped closer to speak to Markus as well and it seemed that Lexa was intent to stay until they had all finished. She did not listen to what was being said, not really interested in such talks at all. It was slowly getting darker and colder as well and Marie felt her patience thinning with every passing moment.

"Your endurance still needs improvement" Lexa commented in a light tone, once they had escorted the Skykru delegation to the base of the tower. Titus would take care of having them shown to their rooms in her stead. She had seen Marie beginning to fidget in front of her after some time, but it had been subtle enough that she had no seen a reason to reprimand the girl right there.

Marie sighed loudly "It was boring…" she complained, a slight pout had settled on her lips.

Although a smirk tugged at Lexa's lips, her green eyes showed a hint of strictness "I had not ordered you to accompany me, it was your choice".

"I know…" Marie retorted with a frown, as she turned puppy dog eyes towards the commander. She had not intended to anger or disappoint the woman at all. "…I had just wanted to show my continued loyalty to you…" she added, voice turning lower as her shoulders slumped.

Lexa's eyes softened visibly, as she looked down at the child. She sighed under her breath "You do not have to prove your loyalty to me, Marie".

Marie's lips thinned slightly, she knew that Lexa was not questioning her loyalty, but others were.

"It will be enough that I know of your true allegiance" Lexa tried to reassure the girl. They had talked about this already, but it seemed that Marie still was not through with the matter. Lexa knew that no matter how often they would show themselves with Marie at her side, it would change the minds of those doubting the girl, only time would do so and Marie would need to be patient until those changes happened.

Marie frowned, but nodded with another sigh "As if I had wanted to be captured…" she grumbled under her breath, crossing her arms over her chest.

Lexa's smirked deepened and she bit back a laugh at the girl's antics, waiting in silence for the elevator to finally pull to a stop.

Her thoughts kept on returning to Clarke and seeing the blonde envelope Bellamy like that, had felt like a painful stab to her heart. Even during their preparation of the war against the Mountain, she had noticed that Clarke seemed closer to Bellamy than to the others of her people. Clarke had told her back then that they were just connected through their shared duties, but now she could not help herself but wonder if their separation would change that. The way with which Bellamy used to look at Clarke spoke of a deep devotion and Lexa bitterly imagined the two getting together. Clarke would surely have an easier and safer life at the man's side, but Lexa felt her throat tightening at the images her imagination came up with flashed in front of her eyes and bitter tears burnt in them again.

Marie's pouty attitude fell completely, when she noticed how Lexa's mood changed in the blink of an eye. "Don't be sad, Mommy" she addressed the woman with wide grey eyes, stepping closer to her in the small room of the elevator and hugging her midriff strongly.

Lexa swallowed forcefully past the lump lodged in her throat and her expression only briefly flashed with the sorrow contained within her mind "It is alright" she reassured the girl, voice quivering only on the edges. She squeezed the child's shoulders briefly, before the elevator pulled to a stop and Marie backed out of their embrace again. Lexa felt her chest tighten, confronted with the empathy and clear worry shining in the girl's grey eyes so plainly.

"Why do you not go and check in with Ontari?" Lexa suggested, once they had left the elevator. The nightblood girl would probably come over into her own quarters at a later point of the day, now that Anya and Marie would surely be staying with her as well.

Marie frowned for a moment, but she nodded in agreement. She had no idea how the Ice Nation nightblood was doing and she had heard in the morning that her injury seemed to have caught a light infection as well, Marie hoped that it would not progress like Nymo's infection had. She already knew, that she would not heed Anya's and Lexa's words then, already having made the decision in her mind, that Ontari just was not allowed to die as well. She could not even bear the thought of losing the older girl as well.

She hesitated in front of the door to the quarters they shared with Anya for a moment, watching Lexa walk passed her with a slight frown. She thought that the woman's posture did not look as proud and stoic as usual, shoulders hunched just the slightest bit, as if the weight of her station was physically bending the woman.

Marie entered the room as silent as possible, hoping that she would not wake Ontari up, in case the older girl was sleeping. She wondered if more had happened between Lexa and Clarke than the fight she had witnessed and she worried about Lexa, the woman had almost seemed regretful of her decision to break up with Clarke, so she could not understand now why Lexa had made the decision at all, if it was causing her such agony now.

Marie was so lost in thought, that she startled strongly when Ontari said "You can come in, you know?" almost a tease to her tone.

Marie looked over at the older girl with a sheepish expression and finally moved fully into the room, softly closing the door behind herself. "Do you still have a fever?" she asked immediately with worry flitting through her grey eyes, as she stepped up to Ontari's bedside.

Ontari looked at the younger girl with a slight smile "I have been given something against it, so at least no in the moment" she answered the question easily.

"The lessons with Talia are no fun without you" Marie said after a beat of silence, sitting down on the edge of the mattress casually. She quickly turned around, pulling her feet up on the bed with her and sliding slightly closer to Ontari, so that she could really sit beside her.

Ontari snorted under her breath, amusement dancing through her dark eyes momentarily. She frowned when Marie leaned over a second later and a smaller arm snaked itself over her midriff. Her frown turned into worry, when the blonde girl seemed to begin crying only a moment later, before Ontari had made up her mind on what to ask or tell the girl.

"Hey, Marie, what is wrong?" Ontari asked intently, looking down at the girl in worry, letting one hand run over the younger girl's back reassuringly.

Marie scooted off slightly, sitting up and rubbing at her cheeks "It is Lexa…" she sobbed out. She could not forget the image of the commander crying in obvious agony and how sad the woman obviously was. She would have preferred for the commander to have a physical wound instead, she could easily heal that for her, but she felt helpless now.

Ontari's frown deepened and she internally wondered if there had been another assassination attempt made on the commander. She guessed that it would not be too unreasonable for Nia to try to take out the Trikru leader and by thus prevent the whole before it really started. But she had not heard any commotion since leaving the commander's quarters in the morning and Anya had not mentioned anything when she had checked in with her later as well and Ontari was convinced that the general would have informed her about such happenings. She was fairly certain that the Trikru woman would have had her summoned or put under heavier guard as well, the general had proven after all that she seemed to genuinely cared for her safety and survival as well.

"I would have probably heard if there had been attack" Ontari said to Marie in a slightly hesitant tone. The only reason why she might now have been told, would have been if somehow, she was suspected to have had a hand in the possible assassination attempt, but she had not left this room, neither had she had any contact with anyone from Azgeda since bringing Marie back into the capitol.

Marie looked at Ontari with her brows creased in confusion for a moment, before she quickly shook her head, rubbing at her cheeks again "There was no attack" she denied vehemently, although a shadow of fear at the mere idea flashed over her features. Marie wondered with a start if she should better immediately get to the commander's quarters, just in case that something happened to Lexa.

"What is it then?" Ontari pried in a soft tone, it was evident that Marie was lost in her own thoughts and the girl had at least stopped crying, but something must have happened or the blonde girl would not be like this at all now. She had heard a slight confrontation between Wanheda and the general in the hall before, but she had been unable to hear what exactly had been said.

Marie sniffled slightly, when she explained to Ontari how she had woken up only to find Lexa crying wholeheartedly in the bathroom.

Ontari frowned as she listened to the younger girl's words. She had no idea what might have caused the commander to lose her façade like that but her mind somehow remained stuck on the question why Marie had been asleep at all at that time of the day, the younger girl did not appear to be sick, neither could she detect any visible wounds with a quick sweep of the girl. "What had happened to you before then?" she asked worriedly, inspecting the younger girl a little closer.

A sheepish expression flashed over Marie's features and she visibly hesitated to answer. She had previously not thought about the fact that the Ice Nation nightblood could not have known that she had broken down before. She nervously twisted the hem of her shirt between her fingers, wondering frantically just how she could explain to Ontari why she had broken down in the first place without giving away her talent. Lexa had been insistent that Ontari should also not learn of it for as long as possible.

"Well…" Marie fumbled for words, feeling Ontari's insistent gaze resting on her lowered head.

"You have not hurt yourself again, have you?" Ontari asked after a moment, tone layered slightly with worry and a hint of strictness. The nightblood truly hoped that she was guessing wrong there.

Marie looked up again and shook her head decisively in denial, she doubted that the places where she had scratched herself unconsciously would count as hurting herself on purpose. "I broke down again … sort of…" she confessed after another beat of silence.

Ontari nodded with a sigh and compassion overtook her features, as she snaked her arm back around the younger girl and pulling her back into a hug "You are feeling better now, right?" she checked worriedly.

Marie nodded, but a frown took over her features "But, what about Lexa?" she asked with rising agitation again.

Ontari sighed again under her breath. She did not know at all on what to advice the younger girl on, she neither knew what might have happened to tick the Trikru woman off in the first place, nor did she know her that much any way. It was obvious that the situation was upsetting Marie which she found worrying if the girl had just had another break down a few hours ago, but Ontari was convinced that the commander's personal feelings were absolutely nothing she should be thinking about at all. It would probably be better if she stayed within their own quarters then as well for the night.

"I honestly do not know, Marie" Ontari finally settled on "Why don't you go and see how the commander is doing?" she added, sensing that Marie probably wished to be in Lexa's company now. The younger girl was extremely empathic, so it was no wonder that Marie was worrying now.

Marie looked unsatisfied at the answer, but she shrugged her shoulders "Won't you come?" she asked after a beat of silence.

Ontari shook her head in the negative "It is certainly better if I remain here for the night" she assessed in a cautious tone. She would surely hear later if the general agreed or not.

Marie frowned, tilting her head to the side slightly as she gazed up at Ontari and her tone was laced with accusation as she retorted "But you belong with us now".

Ontari blinked down at the younger girl in slight surprise. Marie's grey eyes burnt the conviction of her statement and she was caught off guard at the physical proof of just how much the younger girl clearly cared for her as well. Rendered speechless for a moment, she tightened her arm around Marie's frame in a mute gesture, swallowing past the lump suddenly lodged in her throat.

She was saved from having to think of a fitting reply, by a throat being cleared rather loudly suddenly. Ontari looked up quickly and felt a blush heating her cheeks unbidden, when she spotted the general casually leaning against the doorframe. From her whole posture and the softness of her brown eyes, Ontari guessed that the Trikru woman must have been standing there for some time already. A flash of irritation rushed through her mind at the woman obviously listening to their conversation like that, but she had also not noticed her arrival, so she had her own moment of distraction to thank for that.

Marie looked sheepishly over at Anya, the assurance burning on her tongue that she had in fact not told Ontari anything about her talent and she only stopped herself from uttering the words, when she realized that she would tip off Ontari to the case that she was keeping a secret from her at all.

Anya had observed the girl's for long moments in silence, neither of them had noticed her arrival at all. She thought it to be good that Marie was still confiding into Ontari, but she had worried that the child would forget about keeping her talent hidden and had been positively surprised that Marie had not uttered a word about it. Thankfully Ontari had not tried to pry for the reason of Marie's break down as well. She was fairly certain that Lexa would not be against Ontari staying the night in her quarters again and Anya did not want the nightblood girl to feel separated.

The way how Lexa's apparent grief at ending the relationship with Clarke was obviously affecting Marie was worrying. Anya feared what would happen when Marie really understood that her own wellbeing had played a major factor in Lexa's decision. Anya could only assume how Marie would come to the conclusion that she was the sole cause of Lexa's misery with the way she had now reacted to her friend's death.

"You can both come over now" Anya proclaimed evenly, it could only take a few more minutes until dinner would be served and they could share that with the commander as well. She smiled softly when Marie immediately leapt from the bed and clutched onto one of her hands, she was still trying to figure out a pattern in the bouts of the girl's overly clinginess and had failed so far.

"I did not say anything…" Marie whispered up at Anya, while Ontari was still getting out of bed, the rustling of the furs easily concealed her low words.

Anya smiled at the child good-naturedly, amusement dancing through her brown eyes "I am aware" she commented lowly. Her eyes had flitted over shortly to Ontari, but the older girl showed no reaction that she had heard anything at all. Anya knew that it would be foolish to assume that they would be able to hide Marie's healing from the nightblood girl forever, they were living to closely with her now for that, but she still agreed with Lexa that hiding it for as long as possible was for the best. Although Anya had the premonition that Marie would likely be able to heal Ontari if she tried to do so as well.

Marie kept on holding to Anya's hand on the way through the hall, unwilling to let go for the moment. She did not know exactly why, but she was fearful of how Lexa was doing right now.

To her great surprise, Lexa was sitting at one of her tables, reading through what appeared to be a variety of reports. The commander's expression appeared calm and collected, when she looked up and her expression softened when she noticed Marie almost clinging to Anya.

Marie let go of Anya immediately and almost skipped over to the commander, peering over her shoulder in interest "What is that?" she asked chirpily. She frowned slightly when she was unable to decipher the writing at all "I can't even read that…" she exclaimed, head tiled to the side.

Lexa's lips tilted up into a smile "It is rather hard to decipher, yes, the Rock Line Clan ambassador has an appalling handwriting".

Marie giggled slightly in reaction, before her expression sobered a little, she leaned over slightly to climb onto the woman's lap "I am glad you are better now, Mommy" she whispered into her ear with a tentative smile on her features.

Lexa nodded with a slightly forced smile, putting a single blonde lock behind the child's ear. She had forced her mind to remain focused on her duty at hand, all too aware that wallowing in her sorrow would not lead to anything, she needed to focus on this war now and there was still so much which needed her attention before they would leave the capitol. She felt some of the weight from her shoulders lift, when Marie positioned herself comfortably in her lap, head lying on her own chest and she leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on the girl's forehead, as she closed her eyes and only focused on the child in her arms for long moments of peace.

Chapter 218

The next four days passed much too quick to Marie's liking and with every further elapsed hour she just knew too keenly that they would soon leave the capitol and begin their march into the north.

Fortunately, and to her immense relieve, the healers had been able to fight off the infection which began to settle into Ontari's wound and the nightblood girl was just waiting to get her stitches removed now.

"You seem tense" Ontari remarked from her place on the couch. The commander and the general had just left for the final meeting with the ambassadors and a pair of handmaidens bustled around the room, packing up some things for the commander already.

Marie had been presented with the choice to either accompany the two women to the meeting or remain with Ontari in their quarters. She had already woken up in a bad mood and had vehemently proclaimed her decision to remain in the commander's quarters. She knew that they would be leaving tomorrow at around this time and she was already feeling sick.

Marie lightly glared at Ontari and her fingers had obviously tightened in Risha's fur, as the wolf let out a low whine. She uncurled her fingers from Risha's fur and petted apologetically over the wolf's snout "Sorry girl" she said and stood up, going over quickly to Ontari and letting herself fall heavily on the couch next to the older girl. "We'll leave tomorrow" Marie huffed out, arms crossed over her chest and she glared into the flames dancing in the fire place.

Ontari frowned slightly, all of them had been aware of the approaching war and she was internally only looking forward to see Nia fall once and for all. She could not really fathom why Marie appeared so bleak about the prospect of the war, but she could not find a reason for the younger girl's dark mood any other way. The last days had passed in an almost too peaceful manner and all four of them had spent the hours of the evening together in the commander's quarters, Marie mostly curled up with one of the Trikru women in one way or another. "I am aware" she retorted into the silence after long moments and her dark eyes rested on Marie's face, watching the younger girl intently.

Marie huffed under her breath at the nonchalant reaction.

"I doubt that the commander or general would consent to you staying in the capitol" Ontari chose her words carefully after another moment.

Marie's grey eyes snapped over to the nightblood girl immediately and they were burning with an almost accusation "I do not wanna stay behind" she said forcefully, tone rising with every word.

Ontari's brows scrunched together slightly "What is your problem then?" she asked, keeping her tone as light and kind as possible, although she found it hard to understand with Marie's mannerism at the current moment.

Marie's attitude fell slightly and open fear was displayed on her features, as she pulled her knees to her chest, hugging them with her own arms. "What if we don't come back?" she asked, voice quivering notably.

Ontari frowned for a moment, wondering internally what Marie asking after at all. Where else would they go after the war, if not back to the capitol?

"What if you die...or Anya…or Lexa?" Marie said, grey eyes shining suspiciously wet already at the mere thought of something happening to either of them.

Ontari sighed under her breath, she knew that she could not sensibly promise to the younger girl that she or the two Trikru women would not get hurt, they would be leaving to fight a war after all and not simply make a journey to visit another clan. But she knew that they would travel with a huge army, no matter how many people of Azgeda Nia would force to fight for her, the commander and the coalition's army would outnumber them greatly. But she had heard Marie address the same subject already with the general and the woman had told the girl that they had planned the war as best as possible and that there was nothing more that they could possibly do.

"All of us are experienced fighters" Ontari finally settled on, but the younger girl did not appear reassured at all.

Marie's lips were pulled into a slight grimace. The nearer the war was creeping, the harder it was for her to block out the memories of her time with the queen and knowing that the queen's fortress was exactly their destination was internally freaking her out. Lexa and Anya had convinced her of the fact that she herself had been kept alive and tortured at the queen's hands, simply with the intent of hurting the commander. But if the queen hated Lexa with such a passion, Marie could not understand how Lexa still expected to come out of this war alive. She also wondered just what they would be encountering on their way to the queen's fortress. She could not clearly remember for how long Ontari and she had travelled to reach Polis, but she had heard Anya and Lexa discuss that they were expected to take at least around two to three weeks, depending on the severity of the weather, to reach the queen's fortress. The blockade around Ice Nation had been in place for some time now and Lexa was sure that they would be met with half-starved villages on end.

"I just don't think that the queen will just give up like that…" she mumbled moodily. Lexa and Anya had tried to reassure her, that she was worrying for nothing, but she did not believe them.

Internally Ontari had to agree with Marie on that point, but there was nothing they could do than be careful when truly nearing Nia's fortress and she was positive that the commander would not be facing Nia on her own, although that would probably be exactly what Nia hoped to achieve. She would personally make sure, that Marie would not have to face Nia on her own alone ever again.

She tried to tell Marie exactly that, hoping to ease some of the younger girl's agitation while she put an arm around the girl's shoulder.

Marie leaned against the older girl, trying to force the fear from her mind. She knew that there was nothing in her power, which she could do to stop the war from happening now. She inspected her hands critically, taking in her scraped knuckles from yesterday's training. Anya and Lexa had finally allowed her to get back into training on the previous day, while Ontari had still been restrained to their quarters.

She backed off from Ontari, when Laurel entered the room and motioned the nightblood girl into the bathroom. Marie remained sitting on the couch, staring into the flames forlornly. She knew that the journey into the north would probably be highly lacking in the comforts she had grown accustomed to in the past. The only real consolation was that Lexa had reassured her already that she would be sharing her tent with her, but she was not sure yet if that also included Anya and Ontari or not, although she really hoped so.

It seemed to take only a few moments, before Ontari returned to her side again, moving her shoulder around gingerly, with a clearly pleased expression. "Does it still hurt?" Marie asked, wondering how the older girl would fare in the next days. She knew that the journey was expected to turn exhaustion to all of them.

"Nothing than a mere ache" Ontari reassured the blonde quickly. She would have probably been fine, if the stitches had been removed yesterday or the day before as well, but Anya had insisted, after speaking with Laurel herself, that they should remain as long as possible, to minimize the slight risk of the wound reopening at the first harder strain. "Do you want to join the meeting now?" she asked, brushing off Marie's worrying gaze easily.

Marie's face pulled into a slight grimace, she had accompanied Lexa to several meeting through the last days and in her opinion, they had turned increasingly boring and she did not understand how a group of adults could keep on arguing about such little annoying details, worse than how the other delinquents had squabbled among themselves after their landing.

"What do you want to do then?" Ontari asked, amusement colouring her tone, as she sat down on the couch next to the younger girl.

Marie looked around the room for a moment, searching for something and a smile flitted over her features, when she spotted the book, that the nightblood girl had read to her many weeks ago already. She quickly stood from the couch, walking over and retrieving it from the table, before she returned to Ontari, a hopeful expression on her face, as she leaned over and offered the book to her.

Ontari frowned at the book, she had not really enjoyed reading to her in the first place and she was not looking forward to a repetition as well.

"Oh, please" Marie said, eyes turning pleading and her lower lip protruded a little in a pout "You have asked, what I want to do instead…" she reasoned, gaze turning even more pleading.

Ontari rolled her eyes at the younger girl, but took the book from her, opening it on the marked page. She rolled her eyes even more dramatically at Marie's antics, when the child cuddled up to her immediately with a clearly pleased smile on her features.

Ontari continued reading to the younger girl patiently. She had to threaten Marie to stop reading at a few points, when she was finally granting on her nerves with her critics about words that she did not pronounce correctly. She thought that they should just read a book written in Trigedasleng instead, she would not be facing this problem there.

"Don't fall asleep" she chided the younger girl with a raised brow, shaking Marie slightly.

Marie blinked up at Ontari, expression sheepish "Won't, promise" she assured her quickly, she had not even noticed how her eyes had gotten heavier all of a sudden. She did not know exactly why, but in the last day, she had been increasingly tired, although she had not done much physical exercises at all. Lexa had also asked her again, if she remembered something specific directly from before falling asleep, but she did not understand after what the woman was asking at all. She hoped that she was falling sick with something or the march was going to be even less enjoyable than she already anticipated now.

Ontari frowned slightly, but nodded. Anya had asked her in private just before leaving Marie with her, to specifically keep an eye on the younger girl's behaviour. She had found the request odd, but she guessed that something must be worrying the general to have her ask at all.

Marie rubbed at her temples absentmindedly and her brows creased when she took full notice of the fact that Ontari had not resumed reading "What? Why don't you continue?" she asked, a hint of defensiveness underlined her tone.

Ontari rolled her eyes "As you wish, your majesty" she good-naturedly teased the blonde girl.

Marie seemed immune to the slight jab and only smiled slightly, before settling back down comfortably.

Anya had sat through the entire meeting with a slight scowl in place. It was ridiculous just how often the ambassadors kept on questioning the commander and she had to admit that she was not envying Titus in the slightest, the ambassadors would clearly be even harder to handle once the commander left and there was no certainty of her return in good health. She would have assumed that the other leaders would be looking forward to subduing Azgeda, which could finally lead to lasting peace. But it rather seemed as if most of them were disappointed by the fact that this could prove to be the last war for a hopefully long time and the fact that Lexa had clearly given orders to only kill those of Ice Nation who actively fought against them, was clearly another source of unease.

Anya knew well enough that Lexa was not just envisioning a world without war, but also a world where they could offer mercy instead of death for almost every transgression. She could already fathom how hard the resistance from the ambassadors would be to that and she was not convinced that even Titus would agree easily with Lexa.

She rolled her shoulders slightly, easing out the tension of having sat stiff and upright for several hours. Although they would begin their march in the early hours of the next morning, Anya longed to get back onto the training pits at least for a little time, before returning to the commander's quarters. She knew that Lexa had not had the opportunity to set foot on the training pit for several days as well, as the number of meetings had only increased and the woman had chosen to spend every little moment in the privacy of her quarters with their second instead of outside.

"Up for a little sparing match?" Anya addressed the commander, once Titus had filed out of the throne room and they were alone again, beside Ryder and Gustus flanking the throne.

Lexa raised a brow at her former mentor in silent inquiry. She would not have considered going to the training pits now, but the idea had some appeal, she could already feel the energy thumbing through her veins. "You wish to train Marie and Ontari as well?" she retorted thoughtfully. It had not seemed as if Marie was looking forward to leave Polis on the next day and the girl's mood had slowly plummeted through the last days. The child had only really seemed content within her quarters and Anya had been less than impressed with the girl's efforts during their first training session. Lexa doubted that forcing the girl to train now would lead to anything though.

Anya pursed her lips slightly, before she shook her head in denial. Her older charge should have her stitches removed by now, but Ontari was well trained enough not to truly need one more training session and their march would be long and probably would offer more than enough opportunity to squish in a little practise for the girls here and there. Both of them were worried about Marie now, the girl seemed to have continue to subconsciously use her talent to heal the little bruises and scratches Anya had acquired during training the last days. But Marie did not seem to remember doing so at all and how should they forbid Marie to use her power on them, if she was not actively doing so to her own knowledge. She also thought that the blonde girl seemed to get tired at weird intervals through the day at the moment and seemed to get paler. Anya tried to chalk it off internally to the fact how unsettled Marie was about the prospect of leaving the capitol the next day, but something still felt off.

The atmosphere on the streets was reflecting Anya's own mood and she was glad to set foot back on the training pits, facing off with her former second. Hearing the sound of steel clanging together loudly and feeling the thrill of such a collision running through her arms, relaxed something in her, she had always felt best in the throes of battle and the knowledge of their revenge on Nia finally coming into reach, let the blood boil hotly in her veins.

When Anya looked at Lexa, she thought to see some of her internal musings being reflected in the green orbs of the commander.

Her expression set into grim lines, when she spotted Clarke standing at the edge of the crowd, closely together with Raven and Bellamy. She knew that Lexa had not spoken a single word with the blonde Skykru woman since proclaiming their separation and although Lexa had not said anything about Clarke as well, Anya was only too aware of just how deeply the younger woman was torn by this break up. She noted immediately when Lexa spotted Clarke as well, a single crack in the commander's stoic mask flitted over the brunette's features, green eyes misting over for the blink of a second and Anya steeled herself, using the little distraction to her own advantage and bringing her own sword down relentlessly on the younger woman.

Lexa hissed sharply, when Anya disarmed her and she chided herself a fool within her mind all over, when the older woman overpowered her because of that, bringing her to her knees and she keenly felt the cold steel of Anya's sword pressing against the delicate skin of throat. Her green eyes flashed with internal annoyance and she tried to burry her simmering feelings and longings for Clarke further into the far end of her mind. If something like this repeated itself on the battle field, she would forfeit her own life.

"You cannot be distracted now" Anya hissed at the younger woman, lowering her sword, brown eyes narrowed sharply and lips pressed into a harsh line. Lexa's guard had been effortless before the brunette had spotted Clarke watching her and she feared that the blonde woman could still proof to be Lexa's downfall, if the commander allowed so.

"As if I don't know that" Lexa shot back, lips pulled into a slight snarl. She did not like at all just how easily Anya had been able to use a single moment of brief distraction now. She could just vividly picture how Nia would try to distract her as well and she would not get away with bruised and scraped knuckles then. A few of the warriors around the training pits seemed rather bewildered as well and Lexa set her features into a stoic mask, before she drove Anya back with a harsh series of attacks on her part. It did not bring her the awaited relief to make Anya stumble and disarm her in return, but at least the other warriors seemed a little more at ease, turning back to their own training when she stored away her sword.

"Why did it seem as if the mighty commander was just now distracted into losing their match just by the sight of you?" Raven turned her head to Clarke. She frowned when she noted how worried the blonde appeared now. "Hey, she broke your heart, remember?" she said under her breath. Raven had been totally unprepared to watch Clarke break in her quarters like she had on the day of their arrival in the capitol. Clarke had refused to elaborate on the reason for their breakup, so Raven had logically put the whole blame on the commander.

Clarke's blue eyes narrowed dangerously at her friend and she quickly looked around, hoping that no one was paying them any mind. She had cautioned both of them sharply against saying something about Lexa's and her relationship, past relationship she bitterly corrected herself internally, but it seemed her warning had fallen on deaf ears. She did not know how she should explain to either of them that she had been the one to break Lexa's heart by one single stupid fight, that she had broken hear own in the process was probably just fate's payback for hurting someone as pure as Lexa.

"You deserve someone better" Bellamy tried to placate her in an understanding tone, eyes shining.

Clarke's eyes narrowed further. She did not know what had gotten into Bellamy, but Raven had told her that he had broken up with his girlfriend a few weeks ago. "Like you, or what?" she retorted sarcastically and she barely felt anything at the clear hurt flashing through his eyes. Her blue eyes returned to Lexa and she longed to go over to the brunette and take care of the few wounds which were visible beneath her clothing. She knew that she would not be welcomed to though now, so she stayed in place. She did not know exactly how she should try to win the other woman back, but she would try, once this war was over. If anything, watching this training had at least shown her something, she needed to not be selfish now and respect Lexa's wish for distance, she would never forgive herself if she was the reason for the brunette's death. Her blue eyes were hard with the conviction of her feelings as she finally added "There is no one better than her".

Chapter 219

Marie frowned when lunch was served and Lexa and Anya still had not returned to the commander's quarters. Lexa had promised her in the morning that her final meeting was not expected to take very long and that they would spend the rest of the day together.

"Their meeting is probably just running late" Ontari tried to sooth the younger girl, sensing her growing unrest at the continued absence of the two Trikru women. She tried to not take the fact that Marie obviously preferred their company over her own too personal at the moment, although she had truly given her best to distract the younger girl for as long as possible. She doubted that anything worrying had happened in the meantime or they would surely have been told already.

Marie pouted visibly, sitting down on one of the chairs at the table with a sigh "But Lexa promised that she would be here for most of the day" she retorted with a little grumble.

Ontari rolled her eyes at the blonde girl "I am sure, they'll return any moment now" and internally she was really hoping that the two women would, otherwise she could already imagine how whiny Marie would continue to be until Lexa and Anya returned.

Marie narrowed her eyes at the nightblood girl, shoving her food from one part of the plate to the other, without eating anything really. She was feeling queasy again and her stomach felt tightly coiled with anticipation.

Ontari watched the younger girl's antics with a deepened frown, Marie had not touched the tea yet, which was supposed to settle her stomach and she nudged it into the other girl's direction with a pointed look. Anya normally had to remind Marie to drink it as well during meals, to the obvious annoyance of the general.

"Do you think Clarke will come as well?" Marie asked, after long moments of silence. She had completely ignored Ontari's pointed cue, shoving the plate away from herself instead.

Ontari's eyes narrowed slightly. "How am I supposed to know?" she retorted with a frown, she had not contemplated on that question either and was puzzled that Marie would think about the matter at all. "You need to eat something" she added after a beat of silence with another pointed look.

Marie rolled her eyes, picking up the mug with tea finally. She knew that Anya would only criticise her later, if she did not eat now.

In Marie's opinion, it took immensely long until the doors to the commander's quarters were finally opened again and her face immediately brightened with a smile, when she spotted Lexa and Anya entering the rooms together.

Her smile fell a little, when she noticed that both of the women were sweaty, dishevelled and Lexa's skin showed some dried black blood as well. Clearly there had to have been a fight of some sorts and Marie feared just what might have happened, the memory of the assassin's arrows piercing through Lexa's body and the black blood gushing from her abdomen, flashed through her mind vividly.

"Just a few scratches" Lexa reassured the blonde girl immediately, seeing the worry, bordering on fear flashing through those grey big eyes.

Anya snorted under her breath, but kept the scathing comment lingering on the tip of her tongue unspoken. She gazed down at Marie with a slight smile, placing one hand on her shoulder for a moment and giving a light squeeze in mute greeting. "Have the stitches been taken out?" she addressed Ontari, brown eyes flicking over to the Ice Nation nightblood girl.

Ontari nodded her head in agreement "No sign of infections" she relayed the healer's assessment without being asked to, she knew the general would wish to know any way.

Handmaiden carrying pails filled to the brim with hot water, began filling into the room only a short moment later, quickly preparing a bath for their commander.

Lexa and Anya both shrugged out of their receptive armour, handing the pieces of to the leaving handmaidens to be checked for last repairs and to cleaned for them as well.

Anya asked Ontari to accompany her back to their own quarters for a moment, intent on checking that everything important had been packed. She discarded the idea of asking Marie to come as well, when the blonde child already seemed to gravitate towards Lexa, clearly wanting to stay with the commander now.

Marie lingered in the opened door to the bathroom for long moments, watching Lexa discard the rest of her clothing and finally stepping into the bathing tube.

Lexa sensed the girl watching her behind herself, but waited for a moment if Marie would enter on her own. She had not forbidden the girl to be within the bathroom while she bathed so far.

"You are bleeding" Marie finally uttered. Her grey eyes were hefted on one of Lexa's arms, a small trickle of black blood ran down the limb, but the commander did not seem to mind.

Lexa nodded slightly "You can come in fully, but close the door behind yourself". She doubted that Anya would remain within her quarters with Ontari for long, allowing Marie to see her disrobed was one thing, but allowing Ontari the same was another. The Ice Nation nightblood had already been privy to a much more private side of her than any other nightblood had been with a commander before.

Marie quickly shut the door behind herself, stepping closer to the bathing tube with sure strides and she immediately grasped onto Lexa's obviously injured arm, not even needing a single second to have her talent at the tips of her fingers and the graze knitted itself back together in the blink of an eye.

Lexa's face showed alarm at the girl healing her so nonchalantly and seemingly without any effort as well. Anya and she had both told Marie numerous times that they did not wish for the girl to use her talent so much, they both still feared that the healing talent would come at a still unknown cost for the child.

"Can I bath with you?" Marie asked, grey eyes hopeful, completely ignoring Lexa's expression of displeasure.

Lexa sighed lightly under her breath, but nodded her head in agreement. They had bathed together before after all. But they had done so the last time, before Marie had been in Nia's clutches and Lexa did not know if allowing the child to bath with her was really such a good idea. She remembered that Abby had told them to treat Marie as normally as possible, not to give the girl the impression that something had changed because of what had been done to her. She guessed that it would be alright, because Marie was the one to specifically be this close to her now, even when they were both naked.

She watched the child disrobe in silence, but she frowned slightly, when her eyes trailed over the girl's naked form. Marie seemed to have lost quiet a lot of all the muscle mass which Nia had forced the girl to develop, but it did not appear as if she had regained any weight otherwise and the child now really just looked too thin, almost famished. She thought that Marie had been eating well enough in the past weeks to regain some weight and was puzzled why the girl still seemed so thin. "Have you been feeling ill lately?" Lexa asked, once Marie joined her in the bathing tube. With gentle hands, she guided the girl to lean back against herself, until she felt her body relax a few moments later.

Marie shook her head quickly in the negative. The tea that Anya was still forcing her to drink before every meal helped in settling her queasy stomach, although it now mostly felt always queasy. She relaxed further, when she felt Lexa's hands gently caress over her arms and shoulders.

"You know that we do not wish for you to use your talent on insignificant wounds like this" Lexa said after a beat of silence. The previous slight fatigue which had began to settle in her mind, had been wiped away by Marie's healing as well and Lexa felt refreshed and filled with fresh energy once again.

Marie winced slightly at the commander's words, knowing all too well that she should not use her powers like that. Defiance flashed through her grey eyes nevertheless and she repeated her reasoning "You were bleeding".

Lexa sighed under her breath "I was" she agreed "But it was nothing more than a slight graze, Marie, it would not have required any attention at all".

Marie twisted slightly in front of the commander, looking up at the woman with narrowed eyes, a hint of anger blazing within her gaze "You were bleeding and hurt" her voice rose slightly with defiance.

Lexa supressed the urge to roll her eyes at the girl's suddenly stubborn antics. Hoping to sooth the obviously getting agitated girl, she gently brushed a stray lock of blonde hair from her forehead behind on her ears and let her hand linger a moment on the girl's cheek. "I was not hurt" she corrected in a soft tone "The graze barely stung at all, Marie".

Something flashed through Marie's grey eyes, too quick for Lexa to identify and she only watched a storm of emotions rage through her eyes in silence for a few moments, waiting for the child to state her mind. It was obvious that something else must be upsetting Marie at the moment.

Marie's lower lip already trembled as she said "I can't make your sadness go away, but I can heal a graze…" her voice shook noticeably and her shoulder sagged visibly.

Lexa felt her heart beat painfully within her chest at the clear desperate wish for Marie to make her feel better and the way not being able to, obviously seemed to affect the child. She sighed again deeply, as she gently forced Marie's chin back upwards, so that their eyes could reconnect.

"Marie, you are not required to try to lift my mood" she tried to reason with the child in a gentle tone "It is alright to feel sad sometimes" she added after a beat of silence, green eyes showing some of her feelings.

Marie scowled slightly, crossing her arms over chest petulantly. She knew that Lexa was suffering, but that she could not help her with this kind of suffering.

Lexa lightly pulled the girl to lean back against herself, waiting until the child relaxed again. She could not offer the girl to be happy again just like that, but separating from Clarke would not hurt as sharply as it did now with time.

"Don't want you to be sad, Mommy" Marie mumbled, voice still laced with a mixture of defiance and desperation.

Lexa hummed lightly under her breath "I appreciate that, Marie" she acknowledged the sentiment in a soft tone.

Marie leaned back fully, her head resting on Lexa's chest, hearing the woman's heart beat strongly and steadily within her chest. "Love you" she mumbled, sleepiness suddenly overtaking her senses.

Lexa tightened her arms around the girl slightly "Love you too" she whispered into her ears. She smiled down slightly at the child, amusement pulling at her features, it was obvious that Marie was close to falling asleep already. She knew that the girl had slept rather restless during the last night, so she thought nothing of it for now. Instead, she declined back against the edge of the bathing tube, pulling the girl with her and leaning her head back, closing her eyes as well for long moments.

Anya frowned when she returned to the commander's quarters with Ontari in tow and could spot neither Lexa nor Marie.

Ontari wordlessly moved over to the couch and sat down, already expecting that they would spend the rest of the day here.

Anya walked over to the bathroom, opening the door without a sound and entering without announcing her presence. The sight, which met her eyes, made her pause in her step, as a look of utter fondness settled on her features.

Marie appeared to be sleeping within Lexa's arms, head resting comfortably on the commander's chest, while Lexa's eyes were closed as well. Her former second's features looked relaxed and blank, but Anya sensed that she was not indeed sleeping, but rather mediating. Both seemed utterly content in their positions and the whole scene looked domestic and soft.

Anya dearly hoped that they would return victorious from the North without suffering too many losses. Both, Lexa and Marie, deserved to experience more moments like this one.

Lexa's eyes opened abruptly, when she sensed someone watching her and her gaze fell on Anya leaning against the wall with a knowing smirk on her lips and looking at them with gentle brown eyes.

They both knew that this peaceful time was going to come to an end at first light and they would once again be marching into another war.

Anya's brown eyes narrowed and her features were masked with worry, when she noticed that blood began to trickle from Marie's nose. She could not remember if the girl had taken a hit to the face during their training session, but she was fairly certain that she had not hurt her. "Her nose is bleeding" she said to Lexa, crouching down in front of the bathing tube.

Lexa's brows furrowed and she gently pushed the girl into a sitting position, keeping her upright and tilting her chin upwards. There truly was a slight trickle of blood coming from the girl's nose. "Has she taken a hit during training?" she asked Anya, giving Marie's shoulders a slight shake to wake the girl back up again.

Anya shook her head slightly "Not that I can remember", but she could not say so with utter faith. She could also not think of any other reason for the girl to suddenly have a bleeding nose either.

Marie's grey eyes flashed with alarm and she noticed both Lexa and Anya staring at her intently, worry marring their features. "Did something happen?" she asked, voice slightly nervous and eyes flicking between the two women. Her expression turned a little sheepish, when she realized that she must have fallen asleep during the bath, she tried to apologize, but Lexa brushed her off immediately.

"Do you have a headache?" Anya questioned the girl, voice underlined with strictness.

Marie's brows knitted together and she quickly shook her head in the negative, confusion clouding her eyes.

Anya brought a hand to Marie's face and collected some of the blood running from Marie's nose, showing it to the girl. She felt painfully reminded of finding the girl delirious behind herself on the horse, while they had rescued Clarke.

Marie's eyes widened slightly at the sight and she quickly wiped at her nose, trying to remove the blood, but with her mostly wet fingers, she made it even worse, diluting the blood, so that pink drops trailed down her chin.

"Tilt your head back" Lexa instructed and she and Anya watched Marie follow her order in silence, waiting for a few moments until the bleeding stopped again. Marie did not appear to have bled much, but it was still worrying that her nose was randomly bleeding. Lexa could not help her eyes seeking out the girl's ears quickly, checking that she was not bleeding from them additionally. The image of the blood tinting Marie's blonde hair and the bandage red in the medical bay of Arkadia would remain ingrained in her memory forever.

Marie pushed the instance of her having a slight nosebleed two days ago already, from her mind forcefully. She had not thought it important to tell Lexa and Anya. Now, they were going off into war on the next day, a bleeding nose was hardly that worrying in comparison, but she still hoped internally that she would not continue to have nosebleeds randomly now.

An almost hazy memory pushed itself into Marie's mind. She was not entirely sure anymore, but she suddenly could remember her mother having had nosebleeds often as well. The woman had always tried to hide them from her, sending her off to play for at least a few minutes. Her mother had gotten sick months later and had never recovered. She pushed the thought forcefully from her mind, she was not sick after all. Marie was certain that a bleeding nose was certainly nothing to worry about like that.

Lexa frowned, when she noticed how the girl suddenly got pale "Are you feeling sick?" she asked, putting a hand gently on one of her shoulders.

Marie shook her head again in the negative "Do you have more meetings today?" she asked back, diverting their attention from herself with that, putting on an innocent look. She truly hoped that Lexa and Anya would stay within the commander's quarters now, so that they could spend a few quiet hours together.

"No, Marie" Lexa assured with a smile pulling at the corners of her lips, at the clear relief and joy flashing through the child's grey eyes.

Anya offered a hand to the girl "You have surely stayed in long enough now" she said. The girl had bathed the day before and had not needed a bath at all, but obviously Lexa had indulged the girl once again.

Marie pouted visibly for a moment, but finally took the general's hand, letting the woman hoist her to her feet. She almost slipped in the wet bathing tube and she smiled up sheepishly at Anya, when the woman steadied her quickly, saving her from falling over.

Anya's eyes trailed over the girl's body, while she enveloped her into a soft towel. The wounds which Marie had caused herself a few days ago, had mostly healed, but a scab still remained over the places where she had cut away Nia's kill marks.

Lexa stood from the bath as well, drying off quickly and dressing into a pair of comfortable trousers and a loose-fitting shirt.

Marie jawed slightly, trying hard to supress the urge, but failing at it. "I am not so tired" she immediately exclaimed, not wanting to be send to bed so early.

"Of course, not" Anya agreed in a sarcastic tone and a snort under her breath, rolling her eyes at the girl. If the girl was truly so exhausted, although she was certain that she could not have exerted her so much during training, that she fell asleep in the bath, it was surely better to have the child rest for as long as possible.

"I don't wanna go to bed yet, Mama" Marie almost whined, looking up at the woman with her best innocent look.

Anya felt her insistence melt away quickly, knowing that this would be the last few peaceful hours they could offer to Marie. "What do you wish to do then?" she asked with a slight smile, slipping a shirt over the girl's head.

Marie smiled brightly in reaction, grey eyes shining and she tilted her head to the side slightly, clearly thinking about what she wanted now. She was certain that Lexa would readily read something to her later, but she guessed that she would be lulled to sleep too quickly and she wanted something else now.

"I wanna braid your hair" she exclaimed with conviction, looking up at Anya hopefully with a tentative smile.

Anya sighed under her breath, but nodded in acceptance, while Marie made a whooping sound of joy, Lexa bandied a silent look with her former mentor.

Lexa knew that so far, she had given in way more easily to everything Marie had actively asked for, but it seemed that Anya's resistance to the girl's puppy dog eyes was finally thinning as well. The slightly murderous glance Anya had sent her, clearly daring her to say anything, clearly showed that the woman was aware of the fact that she was now the one to indulge Marie as well.

Chapter 220

On the next morning, before the sun even began to ascend, Lexa and Anya woke almost simultaneously.

Marie had slept restless and both women had been required to sooth the child back to sleep or prevent her from fully waking often through the night. It was obvious that the prospect of the impending war was unsettling the blonde girl greatly and they had needed to sleep closely spaced together to get the girl to settle down at all.

Ontari had probably been the only one within the commander's quarters who had slept undisturbed through the whole night as both women had always been woken by Marie twisting and turning, before she could make much sound at all.

Anya stood up from the huge bed first, while Lexa tried to wake Marie up; the child had finally been sleeping totally entangled with Lexa. The general only minutely gazed down at Marie, but teared her eyes away quickly and stepped over to the couch, giving Ontari's shoulder a shake to rouse the nightblood girl as well.

Ontari's dark eyes snapped open immediately upon the brief physical contact and her features were grim and serious, as she sat up. She rolled her shoulders experimentally, relieved to feel only a minor discomfort in the injured shoulder and she was sure that the limb would be completely healed in another day or two.

"Marie, wake up" Lexa softly addressed the girl, shaking her shoulder slightly, trying to entangle herself from the sleeping child simultaneously.

Marie let out a mixture of a whine and a huff and her arms only tightened around Lexa's frame.

Lexa's lips tilted into the hint of a smile as she let a hand glide over the girl's back for a few moments. Marie's breathing pattern had changed noticeably, so the girl was obviously awake but simply refused to let go for now.

When Marie refused to move a few moments later on her own, Lexa sighed under her breath. She could guess what the girl was hoping for. If they did not stand up now, they might not leave the capitol at all, so the girl was stalling for time. "Marie, it is time to stand up now" Lexa said, tone gentle but underlined with strictness.

Marie finally opened her eyes and her gaze was filled with clear fear of what would come to pass in the immediate future.

"It will be alright, little star" Lexa tried to reassure the girl in a firm tone. She knew that she could sensibly not promise that they would return to Polis, they could only hope for the best now.

Marie swallowed visibly, her lower lip trembling for a moment, before her grey eyes flashed with something too quick to pin down and her expression turned visibly harder as the girl steeled herself. Marie knew that she was the commander's second and she had known for months now, that this war was coming, she could not stop it, but she would be in her rightful place, beside Lexa and Anya.

The atmosphere in the commander's chambers remained rather tense and bleak, not even Marie had anything to say now anymore, so they got ready in silence.

Anya had to forcefully order Marie to at least eat a little bit of her portion of the light breakfast, or the girl would probably not have even touched the plate to begin with.

Marie sat upright tensely, when Alira returned to do the commander's and her hair. She frowned when she noted on the different clothing the handmaid was wearing, indication clearly that the woman would also be accompanying the army into Ice Nation.

Risha followed on the handmaiden's heels, tail wagging at Marie immediately, trotting over to her human, sitting down obediently and placing her snout on Marie's thighs, waiting to be caressed.

Marie's smile was shaky at best, as she gazed down at the wolf, letting her fingers glide through its soft fur absentmindedly. It just occurred to her now, that she had no idea if the wolf would be able to accompany them as well or if Risha would be required to remain behind in the capitol. She turned her grey eyes to Anya, seeing the definite tenseness in the general's feature, she switched her gaze to Lexa, the commander appeared slightly tense as well, but not as much as Anya, so she addressed Lexa "Will Risha come with us?".

Lexa looked over at the girl for a moment in silence, contemplating her answer. Taking the wolf with them would certainly add some additional protection to Marie, but the animal was untrained still and they still had not tried how accepting the horses would be now of the grown wolf. Risha would be required to run next to the horses and if they shooed, it could easily cause an accident. So, after a silent of contemplating, she shook her head in the negative "Risha is not trained enough yet to accompany the army." She had been in the process of applying war paint to her face and halted with the brush hovering in front of her face, when Marie spoke up again.

Marie's expression fell notably and a pout appeared on her face "She'll behave…" she tried to promise, grey eyes hopeful and tone pleading slightly.

Anya snorted under her breath, wondering just how the girl assumed to be able to control the wolf from atop a horse, they had never tried to take Risha with them yet, so she stood with Lexa's decision.

Lexa shook her head again, expression taking on a definitely stricter note, although her tone remained kind and calm "No, Marie, and the decision is final" she proclaimed, green eyes steadily gazing at the girl.

Marie's shoulders dropped visibly and her pout deepened for a moment, before she sighed, bending down and enveloping Risha in a hug "Gonna miss you, girl" she whispered into the animal's ears. She let out a mixture of a giggle and a shriek, when Risha licked over her face while she backed off from the wolf.

Ontari watched the scene with clear disgust flashing over her features. Although she had truly gotten used to the more or less constant presence of the wolf in their rooms, she would probably never share the connection Marie had with the wolf. She was not afraid any more of the wolf, knowing that the animal truly meant no harm, but she would not wish to be licked by Risha either and definitely not through the face.

The breakfast went over far too quickly for Marie's liking and Anya ushered her to leave the table and assisted her in dressing into some clothes fit for travel. They would not yet dress into truly warm clothes, but she knew that they would not take long before they passed a sort of a weather boundary and the temperature would drop drastically then.

Handmaidens had already prepared all of their luggage and it had already been moved from the commander's quarters and was probably at the moment laden onto horses for them.

"How long do you think we will need to travel?" Marie asked Anya, while standing still as the general helped her put on a few pieces of light leather armour. She had not worn armour for some time now and although the armour was light and probably from superior quality, Marie was acutely aware of its weight. It felt even weirder to her, when Anya finally applied war paint to her features for her as well.

Anya huffed under her breath slightly "That is hard to tell" she answered vaguely. A lot would be depending on how the villages they would ultimately travel through be reacting to them. If they would not be met with much resistance to begin with, they could continue on quicker. It would play out differently, if Nia had moved troops further into the direction of their shared bored. Although Lexa and she agreed that the likelihood of such an occurrence was extremely low, it was not impossible either.

A part of the army, where most of the warriors travelled on foot, had already left the capitol on the previous day and the group which would accompany them, would all be riding horses and by thus be quickly able to catch up with the rest of the army on the way.

Under normal conditions the journey should not take them more than a couple of days, but winter was fast approaching as well and it would already have hit the lands of Ice Nation and Anya was worried that they would need to travel at a much slower pace than they wanted to originally.

Marie frowned slightly at the vague at best answer, but she kept silent for now, sensing that Anya was not exactly in a chatty mood at the moment. Impulsively she closed the slight distance between them, once Anya had finished in helping her fasten the armour, and she wound her arms around the woman's midriff, hugging her mutely for long moments.

Anya looked down at the girl with soft brown eyes, expression gentled considerably. She let her hands settle on the girl's shoulders, giving them a reassuring squeeze, before she bent down lightly, placing a kiss on the girl's hairline in a gentle gesture.

Marie hummed lightly in response, tightening her arms around the woman for a moment.

"Do not be afraid, little star" Anya said to the child in an intent tone "We will all be protecting you, Nia will not get the chance to hurt even another hair on your head" she added with blazing brown eyes.

Marie mutely searched Anya's eyes for her sincerity for long moments, before she nodded finally. She did not doubt anymore that Lexa and Anya would protect her to their last dying breath and she was fairly certain that Ontari would fight to protect her from harm as well. The thought of having to face Nia again, paralysed something within her mind and she sucked in a rather harsh breath. The absolute certainty she could see in Anya's eyes, loosened some of her internal fright again.

Anya squeezed the girl's shoulders once again, as Lexa stepped up to them and nodded to the general once.

"Will I be riding with one of you?" Marie asked, once Anya finally backed off from her.

Anya shook her head "Ontari and you are both going to get your own horses" she answered. She had spoken with the stablemaster himself two days ago, trying to figure out which mounts to be best pair with her charges. They had chosen an older and experienced warhorse for Marie and the mount should be relatively easy to steer for the girl. Ontari would be riding a slightly younger warhorse, but Anya had no doubt in mind that the Ice Nation nightblood would be able to hold control over it.

Ontari stayed slightly in the background, when Marie halted the commander, the Trikru woman had obviously already wanted to leave her quarters. But the younger girl impulsively threw herself at the woman and Ontari was fairly certain that the contrast would forever look slightly weird to her eye, of how the might commander, dressed in all her regalia, was hugging a child with a clearly loving expression, so casually.

She was surprised deeply by the general stepping closer to her, squeezing one of her shoulders as well in a clearly kind gesture and Ontari met the woman's brown eyes with open confusion, unsure of what to say, or if she was even required to say anything at all.

The streets of the capitol were already filled with a lot of people when they all together left the tower. The sun had not yet ascended fully, but it was obvious that the citizens of the capitol wished to see the army and their leader leaving.

Gustus and Ryder had fallen into step slightly in front of the commander at the basement of the tower and the prepared horses were already waiting for them.

Anya snorted under her breath, when her own steed and the commander's horse both, quiet obviously wanted to get to Marie at first glance.

Marie gave both women a slightly sheepish glance, as she quickly obliged to the horses demands, letting her fingers caress over the soft skin of their noses.

Ontari gave the general a side-way glance, not exactly sure what was amusing in this kind of situation now.

Anya noticed Ontari's glance and as stepped closer to her own steed, she said "Apparently, our horses have taken to Marie immediately. The both of them are rather being petted by her than anything else".

Ontari raised a brow in disbelieve at the general, although the brown horse truly seemed focused solely on the younger girl, not really paying its actual rider much of attention at all.

"You will ride this one" Anya proclaimed, motioning Ontari over to a grey mare.

Ontari nodded, stretching out a hand towards the horse, palm upwards and waited until the horse had sniffed at her fingers, ears flicking around for a moment, before the horse neighed slightly.

Anya nodded with a satisfied expression, some of the warriors of their group had already mounted their own horses and she motioned Ontari to do the same, before she finally called Marie over to the horse she would be given for now.

Marie's grey eyes immediately connected with the horse's dark ones and she smiled at the animal, offering both of her hands to the unknown horse to sniff at, while she spoke to it in a soft tone "Hi there, do you have a name?"

Anya snorted again, lightly shaking her head at the girl's antics "Mount up" she ordered, offering her help to hoist the girl up into the saddle. She waited until the girl was sitting securely atop of the horse and she had one hand resting on Marie's thigh, she nodded to her mutely, before she stepped away from the horse, back to her own steed and mounted as well.

Only Lexa was the only one not on top of her mount yet. Titus had followed them out of the tower and the commander was exchanging last orders with the flamekeeper, she was after all entrusting him with the keep of the capitol and the coalition once again. She distinctly hoped that she would at one point be able to let her oldest nightbloods reign over the capitol in times of her being away from Polis, it would surely be able to much better prepare them for their later duties.

Lexa shook such thoughts from her mind, discarding them as unimportant for now.

"Return safely" was the only farewell Titus said and although his expression seemed blank, his dark eyes showed the care he still had for the commander.

Lexa inclined her head mutely, turning from her former teacher and minutely letting her eyes travel over the group of warriors, waiting for her command.

The group mostly consisted of those warriors which were the most trusted from Trikru. But there were also elite warriors from a few other clans and the Skykru delegation would travel with them as well. Lexa had been hesitant to let them accompany the rest of the army, she knew just how many warriors were still uneasy to be around firearms of the Mountain again.

Her eyes only shortly flitted over the Skykru delegation and she was not surprised in the slightest to spot Clarke among them. If the woman was one thing, she was stubborn and Clarke had been insistent in her wish to be part of the army even before their break up.

A part of her mind was glad to see Clarke there, knowing that the woman would not be too far out of reach and she would at least see her regularly still. But a larger part of her would have preferred for the blonde Skykru healer to stay within the capitol, protected and safe.

Lexa forced all further thought of Clarke harshly from her mind, knowing all too well that she could not allow herself to dwell on what she and Clarke had lost, it would be a weakness and she could not present weakness to Nia, not if she wished to return victorious.

She was not surprised to see so many of Polis citizens already on their feet, flanking the streets, as far as she could see. She knew just how loved she was as a leader by her people and Lexa took great pride of that fact.

She mounted her horse in one fluid motion and as she gazed over the group of warriors and the assembled crowd once again, there was no need for a long speech, but rather a loud shout left her lips "To war!"

The commander's proclamation was echoed loudly by the warriors and the group began to move as soon as Lexa gave the sign.