"Hey Amanda." said a voice. The voice came from a silhouette that seemed to be wearing a baseball cap. "If you slip and fall, you're nothing at all." That' what the voice told to me when it came to me in my dreams. Unfortunately, the cross to bear was none other than my little sister Melinda, who doesn't even exist anyways.
I opened my eyes. I felt like I was suspended in a dark stasis tube with little insect looking metal purple plates all along the insides and they would whisper things to me. These things… were the ghosts? Was Kristy from the second day right? I don't know, I'd seen stranger things in my day. Who knows, the coyotes might even be there someday. But anyways. I looked my head back and forth trying to find the source of the scary noises. I had an expression of aghast apprehensiveness on my face. I was not in, as the Spanish would say, the 'felicidades'. No sir ree bob, I'll tell you what.
Now wait a minute. What was I going to tell you all again? What was it… Think, Maddie, think. I said "Om" and counted to three a few times. Om… one, two, three. Om… one, two, three. Om… one, two, three.
A muffled version that sounded like a distant background music to a version that sounded like Mr. Pony. Yes. I felt like I was the large man, sitting in his E-win gaming chair and staring open-mouthed in disbelief at the absolutely scrange content he was viewing."
I stroked my finger like thing, called a thinger, across my cheek carefully. It withered and crumbled away into dust sized cubes, before blowin in the wind, which, by the way, is the answer. The answer, my friend, is a song called blowin in the wind. A song called bullowin in the wind. I was hovering in front of a black hole when I said. My shoulder length, caramel-covered hair was also blowin in the wind. I break "chicken chicken" your toes. I break "chicken chicken" your toes. One day I will have a counter for you. I'm smell bound, which is like being spellbound except that it only happens when you have to put uh… a piece of moldy cheese in your mouth! Good god, I felt like a large man.
Well, while I was busy giving myself the cheese touch my friends were off playing ball somewhere with their friends. There was somebody in the payphone. Blinking, I tried to place the head in my memory but it was far too late to get hit with the license plates. I guess sometimes you just gotta bite the dust. I gulped, and opened the payphone, and was totally smesmerized by something. Maybe it was a bucket of chicken. But was it just a bucket of chicken? Was it really my friend, Vincent? The stars in my eyes only grew. I tried to snap back to reality, as Eminem would say. If Eli turned his construction worker's hat upside down, could he use it as a bucket to hold all his fried chicken? I was drooling at the very thought of it.
Suddenly, Rachel's face appeared, like, uh, I dunno, stinking Motherboard from CyberChase, and said to me in a voice older than Time (so at least 26 years old) "Reality is subjective. Once you realize that your reality is different from someone else's, nothing you know becomes real anymore."
I was absolutely lambasted by the blasted plaster balista of ballast, plastered with plastic paste. I leaned backwards and my head got sucked into the black hole at light speed, though a relatively infinite percentage of my body was dragged along with me like an equation that will never reach its limits, effectively spaghettifying me. It was… electrifying. I felt like a delicate blend of Goku, SpongeBob, and Starbucks original 72 Pike's Peak natural homemade homeground coffee. I'm sorry, did I sound a little salty right there? I admit that I'm as salty as a salt shaker, you Kermit stealing Kermit looking Kermit. Dolla dolla bills. I locked onto you. "You're going down," I said. "I'm going to turn you into a hot potato." I wasn't aware, but that was what's known as a 'good one' to you dang old whippersnapper folk.
No! What was I doing! Focus! Think! I felt like I was in the eye of the Sharknado and my thoughts were blowing around in the Twister T5 winds. I tried to cling to a scrap of my sanity, but it crumbled in the same way my thinger did. This was nonsense. I knew just how to settle this. I reached into my pocket, procured the Lucky Penny, and instantly it was ripped from my grasp by the Twister T5 winds. "No!" I screamed like Anakin Skywalker, my entire life, my world, was ripped away like a scrape of pavement. I dislodged violently, but nothing would come out. I felt like a specter of solitude, floating through the universe on a speck of dust as small as Whoville. Without the Lucky Penny, I was nothing. I couldn't move, I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe, unless it was resting here with me. I felt like I was either on the urge of having a mental breakdown or a mental breakthrough. For your sake, I hope it's the latter. No go, brain! Dazzle us with a fiery explosion!
My skull felt like it was about to come out of the background music. I felt like a rat that had somehow wandered into a secret lair filled with high tech in an abandoned subway tunnel. The large man snorted. "Just imagine William turns the corner like 'Did somebody say subway?'" However, little did I know I was being followed. By moving my arms and legs like a spider, I was able to avoid his grasp. Suddenly, as the train was about to depart, a bullet was fired from somewhere. I rolled under it Matrix style, and then suddenly everything went black.
Next thing I knew, I was standing in a cemetery. Now keep in mind, this doesn't necessarily mean that I'm dead, as this entire series of events is just a delve into the human psyche. At first the ghost of Christmas future started creating illusory copies of himself by moving rapidly, but then began a DJ Disco party and stated throwing fireballs, which I dodged to the beat. All of a sudden, I began spinning like a baseball bat, deflecting all of the fireballs back at the ghosts. With them eliminated, I strode out of the graveyard like Harley Quinn dragging her bat, ready to face whatever aliens were up next.
In the aliens' lab, you can just hear the test tubes beeping, and the aliens playing ping-pong in the background. However, sometimes you could feel the whole building pulse like it was powering the heard to some massive, organic creature the aliens had been doing research on? Such good times. I hopped on the elevator, strumming to myself generally. I felt like I was slowly entering into a lave castle and simply used my card key to unlock the front door.
But wait, I've gotta talk about my Lucky Penny! My eyes snapped open again and I thought deeply. If I no longer have to rely on the Lucky Penny to make decisions, that would mean that I would have to make them myself. I got up off of my scuffed and dirty knees, which became cleansed like the knees of Jesus. I wiped my eyes, and stopped crying, because my ma… no, Fergie says big girls don't cry. There we go, my first decision without using the Lucky Penny. I smirked menacingly. "There we go," I said out loud for some reason. "I think this will work just great!" Though I had already forgotten what it was. It was probably just, like, Brazilian taco shells.
I had to get away, and fast. I turned tail and sprinted like Sonic through the infernal factory where fire ravaged everything behind me. Although I had enough speed to outrun the explosion, I wasn't fast enough to rescue everyone I came across. And by the cross I intend to take you with me! Everything shattered into cubes. It was surprisingly peaceful for a second, until they showed up for the fish tank. There was a $95 ticket to stand on a platform and study the creatures in there. The winner would go out first, and the loser would end up going last. She said, making an inappropriate joke in what is such a sensitive topic. I'm like Sensitive Appa, the "Blus Sized" Alec depositing my coin into the well. I wondered if that's where my Lucky Penny had gone. I dived in after it and began swimming deeper, and hurting my breath it sucked me into its layered, vacuum like, gaping Jaws. Suddenly, I was back in the sewers again. I was in a mechanical factory where mechanical robots swung their mechanical wrenches rhythmically, creating lots of clinking noises. There was even a robot that carried around a surf board and a bag of rocks and tried to play a mean jazz piano. But I'm not here to talk about that. It is time that I tell the truth about, uh, I forget his name. The guy that won a prize or got to watch the sun set on the beach in a night chair. I think I remember the chair now, it was made of a lot of plastic.
"Hwat?" I said? Bringing up my habit of overanalyzing competitions I and back in 2011. Because this not having any marks return though it was not in her demervative to me. Would it be okay to got rid of Justice doesn't want peace, so we'll have to close the ant's sleeping pair up ready to get up and ready for the next day. Whale whale whale, what do you have to say about and her nicely. Maddie-ana Gonzales was only birthday as well. She wrote days every time I heavy grow efforts. I thought it was I am now just the used mail what about there's a barber somewhere that it's time to sign out and release control of the keypad. More like a Wattpad. I went to work where the spotted dalmatian stepped into the spotlight and greeted me. That is not what a paint attack looks like! I shouted, spitting on the floor. What could have caused so much mental turmoil? It finally registered like a cash register. I attempted to cling to clumps of grass on the grassroom floor being pulled up into pliers for eternity. You cease to exist. I am a hamburger. It's 2011. We're together in a famous, old-timey restaurant, like the one on Route 66. I was spinning like a pinwheel from side to side. As I lost two of my teeth, my body aligned perfectly and extended into attack mode. I was the dancing queen. Suddenly, thunder crackled above me. I looked up and saw, like the gray rumbling clouds of an incoming thunderstorm over the Savannah, I saw Mufasa's face. His deep, Darth Vader-y voice rumbled like thunder over the Savannah. He talkin' just like he Hannah Montana.
"Remembah… who you orrr," boomed the cloudy lion. I felt, empowered, exhuberant, and ecstatic. Not extinct though. I mightn't be a paleontologist, but I sure do know an extinct dinosaur when I see one, I tell you what. The rolling thunder billowed over the rest of the sky, slobbering everything in its muted embrace and promise of a new beginning. The clouds now took shape of a splash art of a Stormtrooper. He appeared to be running towards me like Buzz Lightyear, or as some would call him, Buss Lightyear. I felt like I had seen this Stormtrooper before somewhere. He looked very familiar. The electrical, pink pyramid blinked in the background. The Stormtrooper faded away as I screamed, "No! Uh, Keith!" Making up the first name that came to my head as I thought of him. And I only thought good things behind better always and of in that Stormtrooper too. Ouch, my leg. I looked down and saw something biting it. It looked a bit like a mix between a cat and a dog, whatever that was called. All of a sudden, four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, wearing black suits, black sunglasses, black wigs, and in some cases, black mustaches, jumped down in quarters around me. They began glowing different colors and moving in a circle around us, drawing a scrange glyph with light on the ground as they moved. Spheres of light surrounded the four rotating Ninja Turtles, and eventually this light manifested into energy that leapt off the spheres, arching toward me in the center. I was getting into the groove. I was so good. I was yabba-dabba-delicious! I unleashed a bunch of answers at once and the whole screen went white. Afterwards, the sky was clear, the birds were blue. The grass was green and blowin in the wind. That made it the answer. I was sitting one a bench on a cliff overlooking a waterfall out to the ocean with a lighthouse on top. I was leaning on someone's shoulder. It was the Stormtrooper. Another whave of exhilarant exhuberation squept over me. It was blissful until and electric shock swept through my body and I imagined shep. But for some reason he was angry and quite insane. But things always worked out in the end. Aw yeah, they called me peppy the penguin, cause I was running real fast, going in and out of doors while running away from a wise looking automobile with a mustache and a long tongue, spelled T-U-N-G. I was dropped off in a big room. A personification of the gravity of the situation I was in stepped through the door. I leaned backward, spread my face accordingly, put my hands up to defend myself, and made a face like John Bosco Baccibelli Bapoupeleh's younger broterr, Benjimon Bubacelli Bapoupeleh. It flexed on me, and flexed some more, and farted. It created a dark vortex that swept everything away. Amidst the destroyed city, the dark vortex continued, until a shadow emerged from it. The shadow turned out to be a gigantic Peppa Pig robot. Suddenly, this insane being grew lens flare eyes that pierced the fog menacingly. Through the guttural, mechanical pipes that made up this being's esophagus emerged an aooga that sounded like the production of the calls of two thousand blue whales that reverberated through the area and the air. It also moved the ground with how much it shook. A primal terror swept over my body. I had to get away fast fast fast and now now now! I ran like a screeching velociraptor but suddenly all that extended before me was desert, and the shade of the shadows of the distant pyramids grew ever smaller. I panted with thirst, yearning to rest. Why was there no oasis nearby? Then I was in the harsh Siberian winter, but I was the one controlling the winter. My grey-blue eyes had evolved into ice-blue eyes, and they were the only parts of my body exposed. I blinked intensely, and a gust of snow spiraled like a vacuum in front of me, swirling my scarf elegantly. If I were a video game character, my stats would be off the charts. People didn't go into the Siberia willingly because of the harsh winter. They just didn't want to risk running into me. I was like Bigfoot, or Sasquatch, or some other legendary monster. And speaking of Bigfoot, the Peppa Pig robot's cut through the deep cloud cover provided by the blizzard and stomped me flat.