South Park High School

by Just Another Writer Writing

The four boys and company are now in their senior year at South Park High School. However, growing up and becoming adults is much more zany and off the wall than they had previously hoped. Comedy, romance, and surprises lurk around every turn in the last year they'll spend together in everybody's favorite quiet, little, mountain town.

21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: The Sting

"Alright, let's get this special meeting underway!" cried Sheila Broflovski to an auditorium full of the senior parents.

The gathering quickly hushed and took their seats.

Sheila grinned. "We have an important development in the house party being held by our children this weekend! I found this scrap of paper lying by my son's backpack this afternoon."

She held it up triumphantly for all to see.

"What does it say?" asked Randy Marsh.

"It has the time and location of the party this weekend! According to the paper, after the football game tomorrow, our children will be heading to the Cartman residence!"

"Oh, dear!" exclaimed Liane Cartman. "I can't believe my little Eric would go behind my back like this! He always tells me ahead of time about these things!"

The congregation looked at her, incredulously.

Liane looked back at them, confused. "What?"

"Anyways," said Sheila, "We are going to nip this right in the bud. No longer is this a mission to resolve the matter beforehand without any consequences. If our children are going to willfully disobey us, we need to make a statement."

"Yeah!" shouted the crowd, getting riled up with every word that Sheila said.

Stephen Stotch stood up from his chair. "If my son, Butters, was involved in this in any way at all, he will be grounded for the rest of high school! And, I advise all of you parents to follow suit if you catch your children conspiring against you with these skylarkings!"

The crowd cheered loudly.

"Skylarkings?" asked Stuart McCormick softly.

"You know, like tomfooleries?" whispered his wife, Carol.

"Oh…"

"We need to set up a task force to stop all this nonsense in its tracks tomorrow!" Sheila yelled. "We'll not only need a group of us parents to organize and orchestrate this plan, but we'll also need some unassuming authority figures to help set up the sting. Thankfully, I have just the team! May I present the Association of Special Supervisors!"

Upon saying those words, the A.S.S. entered the auditorium, consisting of Officer Barbrady, Jimbo Kern, Ned Gerblanski, Principal Victoria, Mr. Mackey, Big Gay Al, Mr. Slave, and Mr. Garrison.

"Okay," said Mr. Garrison, "why are we all here?"

Sheila gasped. "Mr. Garrison! Didn't you read the email that I sent you?"

"Only the part that said there'd be refreshments here and I can't resist free food." Mr. Garrison scanned the auditorium. "Damn! Did everyone finish it already?"

Principal Victoria frowned and turned to her employee. "Contain yourself Garrison! You're making an ass out of yourself!"

Sheila glared at Mr. Garrison and the rest of the A.S.S. "The reason I have called you together is to stop our children from throwing a party tomorrow."

"A party? What's so bad about that?" asked Mr. Garrison. "Hell, I had my fair share of benders when I was in high school. It's a natural part of growing up."

Principal Victoria and Mr. Mackey groaned while Sheila bubbled with rage.

"Getting wasted and engaging in debauchery is NOT a natural part of growing up!" yelled Sheila. "We need to protect our children from this kind of stuff!"

"For Christ's sake, Sheila!" exclaimed Mr. Garrison. "They're young, they're experimenting with stuff, and they're on the cusp of adulthood! You need to let them grow up and make their own decisions."

"From what experience do you know that, Herbert?" cried an angry Linda Stotch. "Last time I checked, you don't have any children!"

Mr. Garrison huffed. "Last time I checked, I'm sexually attracted to men! Even when I was a woman, the surgery wouldn't let me get pregnant! So tell me, how in the fuck am I supposed to have children, Linda?"

The parents in the audience were taken aback by Mr. Garrison's overt abrasiveness and a silence held over the room.

Trying to ease tensions and unite the crowd again, Sheila tried an alternative method to win over Garrison. "You know, Mr. Garrison, your football team is looking awfully good this year..."

"Of course," boasted Garrison, "best damn team in the land. We're going to be contending for the state title."

"So," said Sheila, seeing that she had found the right strategy, "you need the team to focus in so you can win the playoff, right?"

"Yeah, they need to be focused every practice and dialed in every game. That's the only way to become a champion."

"But," interjected Sheila, "this party is a clear obstacle to that. If your players get involved with it, they won't be in any state to practice to the best of their ability on Saturday afternoon."

"Shit! You're right! They need to save that crap until after the season!"

Mr. Garrison started to heat up as thoughts of his team being too distracted to practice made him sick to his stomach. Sheila knew that the tide had shifted for good.

"So, are you in or not?"

Garrison fumed. "Absolutely! I'll institute a new team rule tomorrow that anyone who gets caught partying during the season won't start the next game!"

Sheila smirked. "Excellent, Mr. Garrison."

She then turned her attention to the rest of those gathered. "We all need to work together and do our part! Let's go over your assignments for tomorrow."

In the audience, Randy leaned over to Sharon. "Do we really need to militarize this? It's just a damn party for crying out loud…"

Sharon frowned. "You know as much as I do the harmful effects of excessive partying! That's what got you into drinking and made you develop alcoholism."

"That wasn't it at all! Plus, I'm not an alcoholic anymore, Sharon!"

"Randy, you drink excessively nearly every day!"

"What I do is tasteful and artistic, Sharon! I try different drinks and review them for my YouTube channel!"

Sharon Marsh rolled her eyes. There was no use arguing with Randy when he got into one of his fads.

Back at the front, Sheila started handing out positions to the different adults.

"Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Testaburger, you two are going to be assigned to street watch. You will park at a discrete location on East Bonanza Street and take notice of any and all cars that park near the Cartman residence."

"You can count on us!" exclaimed the two of them.

Sheila smiled. "Excellent! Now, Skeeter! You can just man your bar tomorrow night. Just crack down on checking IDs harder than usual and make sure no one carries out any liquor."

"You got it."

"Good. Stephen and Linda! Why don't you two work at the command center tomorrow night?"

Garrison's mouth fell to the floor. "What the hell?" he exclaimed to Principal Victoria. "There's a command center?"

Principal Victoria rolled her eyes. "It was in the email, Garrison. Just read it next time before you get involved in something serious like this."

Garrison was still shocked. "But where would they have something like that? How are they setting this up?"

Principal Victoria motioned for Garrison to get close and whispered in his ear. "Why do you think they invited Officer Barbrady? They just want to use his office in the police station."

"Wow, that makes much more sense than why I thought they invited him."

Principal Victoria looked at him, puzzled. "And, what could that be?"

Garrison laughed. "Oh, I thought he was going to shoot some minorit- I mean, nothing…"

Principal Victoria gasped. "Mr. Garrison!"

"What? I said 'nothing!'"

Back at the podium, the Stotches were trying to negotiate their terms with Sheila.

"We have to get up real early Saturday morning, so we were wondering if we could take the earlier shift at the control center."

Sheila nodded. "Oh yeah, that's fine. You got something special planned Saturday morning?"

Linda smiled and rubbed her husband's shoulder. "Yeah, Sheila. Stephen and I are going on a nice, little romantic getaway this weekend. It was kind of a last second thing."

Sheila smiled back. "That's great! Well, have fun you two! I think Gerald and I will take the late night shift afterwards so you're all set!"

"Thanks so much!" exclaimed Stephen.

Stephen and Linda hustled back to their seats as Sheila continued assigning roles to each of the parents in the auditorium, checking each of them off a large list. Eventually, she was at the very end of the list.

"Awesome, Mrs. Cartman! Okay, last but not least, Sharon and Randy, come on up."

Sharon stood up and Randy begrudgingly followed her. Randy received a knowing look from his friend Gerald as he walked on up.

"We sure got dragged into this one…" Randy whispered to him.

Gerald gave a solemn nod. "Damn right."

"I have saved the best assignment for you two," said Sheila. "I want you to be the leaders of the Association of Special Supervisors!"

"Woah!" exclaimed Sharon. "What are our duties within those roles?"

"Basically, you two are going to lead the stealth sting mission we have planned. You'll communicate and lead the team as you try to hunt down any of our kids who may be… getting into some mischief."

"Like secret agents?" asked Randy, excitedly.

Sheila was caught off guard. "Um… sure, Randy."

"Sweet… do we get to use guns?" he asked, making James Bond poses with an imaginary gun in his hand.

Sharon swatted Randy in the arm, angrily. "Randy!"

"Of course not!" shouted Sheila. "We aren't trying to hurt our children!"

Sharon fumed. "Why on Earth would you ask an asinine question like that, Randy?"

Mr. Garrison interjected. "Well, if Officer Barbrady isn't going to shoot those delinquents, someone needs to."

Principal Victoria pulled Mr. Garrison aside. "If you don't want to tarnish your reputation any further than you already have, I advise you to shut up right now."

"Come on!" Mr. Garrison groaned. "We were all thinking it!"

"Anyways," said Sheila, "you two will be given your own set of special equipment, including walkie-talkies and night vision goggles."

"Sweet!" exclaimed Randy.

Sharon was a bit more hesitant. "Jeez, Sheila. Isn't this a bit excessive?"

"Well, we do want to stop them Sharon and this is an effective method," said Sheila, checking off the Marshes on her assignment roster. "Sometimes, you have to pay the price to get what you want. We'll only know through hindsight if this was worth it or not."

Sharon and Randy went back to their seats and Sheila took to the podium once more.

"Now that everyone has their role for tomorrow night, I want to make one thing very clear. This is not a matter of if our children get caught. It is a matter of when. Tomorrow we have an incredible task in front of us, and it all starts with the football game. Can I count on your team to win tomorrow, Garrison?"

"Oh, hell yeah!"

"As long as you win, we got ourselves a party to crash…"

The crowd cheered as a smile grew on Sheila's face.