A/N: notthatchhavi - I am so sorry that the last chapter was making you cry! If it makes you feel any better, I cried writing it. I promise things get much better!
To my guest reviewer - I'll keep my lips sealed for now, but I think all will be well. ;)
Remus had no idea how things could be okay and not okay at the same time, but that was exactly how things were. It was quite possibly the longest week he'd ever experienced, and he had just dealt with the lead up to the full moon only days prior.
The days went in waves, some moments better than others, and Remus couldn't help but muse that the weather outside seemed to match Emma's inner turmoil. Monday started out nice and sunny – hopeful, but by Friday night, the weather had shifted dramatically. The sky was dark, the wind was violent and howling, and the rain slammed hard against the windows. Lightning would flash across the sky, leaving odd shadows against the walls. Remus felt that the atmosphere only made Emma's mood worse; the change in weather left her worried as if it was her fault.
Friday nights were always difficult, but this one, in particular, was more challenging than usual. Emma didn't want to talk, and only half-listened to what Remus had to say. He knew that he should be more willing to push the conversation they were meant to have, but it was clear he wasn't going to get anywhere. Emma was only sitting there because she had to be. Part of him wanted to just let Emma go to bed, but a part of him wanted to keep her there. There had to be something he could do.
Remus let the silence continue between them just so he could observe Emma for a few minutes. She sat in her usual corner on the couch, knees pulled up to her chest as she tried to wedge herself further in the corner. Emma ran a finger against the fabric of her pajama bottoms, the action almost methodical as she tried to distract herself. Emma couldn't even get herself to fidget as much as she usually did, thoroughly exhausted from everything. He allowed himself to reflect on how the rest of the week had gone, trying to figure out how to try and pull Emma out of her thoughts.
Against his better judgment, Remus allowed Emma to take Dreamless Sleep three times that week. A regular Sleeping Draught wasn't strong enough to keep her asleep. Her thoughts were keeping her up late, and the moment she managed to fall asleep, she would wake up screaming. Emma's nightmares had never been so terrible before.
She had abandoned her room in favor of staying in his room. Between the potion and having him close, it was the only thing that kept her calm enough to sleep. It was exhausting, and Remus wasn't entirely sure he had really slept at all. His thoughts were going a mile a minute as he was at a complete loss. The possibility of having to pass Emma's care off to someone else was looking like more of a reality. He knew that Emma didn't want that, but he was terrified for her. Things were swiftly moving out of what he could handle, but he would give it another week or two before making his decision.
After avoiding him for most of the week during the day, she had finally gone to him Thursday night, and it felt like how things used to always be. It was refreshing to not have her be around him and say that she was sorry several times in a conversation. He wasn't sure that he could handle hearing those words from her anymore. Remus knew that she was sorry, and he tried to tell her that, but she still continued to say it. He thought that perhaps she had been tired of saying it too that night, but it was something else that had her distracted.
Emma stepped into the living room like she'd done every night that week before going to bed, just watching him. Remus had picked up on Tuesday night that she didn't like him acknowledging that she was there, so he went about things like usual. Rather than looking up from the papers he was grading, or the lesson plans he was reworking, he let her just watch. There had been many nights when Remus first brought her home where she had done the same thing. He didn't mind it at all because it meant that she wasn't anxious; she was curious, trying to work through the things in her mind. However, there had been something that seemed almost insistent about Emma's gaze that evening.
A part of his brain told him to shift from his armchair to the couch to see what she would do. He was worried it might disturb their routine, but Remus could practically feel her mentally pushing the thought into his mind. The moment he lifted himself from his armchair and moved to the sofa, the energy in the room shifted with a slight buzz of pure excitement. In practically no time at all, Emma sat down next to him, and that was when Remus noticed the photo album sitting on her lap. He had completely forgotten all about the photo album his father gave her their first Christmas together.
It was a simple hardbound book, unironically in Gryffindor colors – the cover was in a brilliant Gryffindor red and bound at the spine in gold. Remus had no idea that Lyall was giving it to her that Christmas morning, and it now looked very well-loved. Remus could see in his mind the younger version of Emma sitting anywhere she pleased, just flipping through the pages watching as the scenes played. She had always loved that the photos moved. Even though she couldn't remember what was happening, she told him it made her feel like maybe someday she could. Much like with other books, he had often found the album next to her as she fell asleep. When was the last time he had seen her with it?
Curious, Remus looked at her, surprised to see that she actually met his eyes. She opened her mouth to say something and then immediately closed it, her gaze turning to the photo album in her lap. To his surprise, Emma then lifted his arm, pulled it around her shoulders, and snuggled into his side. It had been so unexpected that Remus needed a moment to process, and he felt Emma tense up. Before she had a chance to second-guess herself, he relaxed, rubbing her arm gently to reassure her that what she did was okay. It took her a minute, but she followed suit, snuggling contentedly into his side.
She set the album on his lap and flipped through the pages until she found the photo that she was looking for. Unable to figure out how to use her voice, Emma just looked up at him expectantly, gently tapping the photo. She wanted to know the story behind the picture, and a soft smile crossed his face. There had been many nights where they had done precisely this, but they had never gotten through the entire album. Lyall had stuffed the album with nearly every photo worth sharing from the first two years of Emma's life that he had, and there were a lot.
Remus looked down at the photo and sighed, his chest tightening as he really took a look at it. The moment was chaotic, and Remus wasn't even sure if he could describe it accurately. The time before the photo was actually taken had started out well but then dissolved into what the picture had become.
It was meant to be a group photo with some of the Order members and their three "newest members" – Emma, Harry, and Neville. It was just before the Potters went into hiding, well before Frank and Alice were tortured, and well before Emma disappeared. It was taken around Christmas in 1980, meaning Emma was a little over a year old and energetic, and Harry and Neville were only six months old. Remus had purposely slipped away from his mission at the time just to be home for Christmas, and he was grateful that he did. When they were all gathered together, things were simple.
Emma, who was in Remus's arms, was pulling hard on Sirius's hair and giggling at the pained look on his face. Harry was crying in James's arms, looking at Lily in a panic as she just shook her head. Neville sat calmly in Alice's arms, looking at the other two, looking as confused as a six-month-old could. Frank and Peter were laughing at the entire situation. A charmed plush toy dragon of Emma's would fly by the group, and all three children would stop to watch before immediately returning to what they were doing.
He couldn't remember who had even taken the photo; perhaps his father did because they had all gathered in Wales that year. Maybe Margaret, he couldn't remember. He recognized the fireplace in the sitting room and the garland that lined the mantel.
By the time Remus finished with the story of the photo, a small smile had found its way to Emma's face. She immediately flipped to another photo and then another and another, and he told her the story of each one. Seemingly pleased with Remus's stories, she picked the album up and began to close it, but a loose photo from the back fell out.
A quiet huff left her mouth as she looked at the photo that had fallen on the floor. She pried herself from Remus's side to bend down to pick it up, her brows pinching slightly.
Remus couldn't even remember the photo being taken, and Emma quietly whispered the same, finally finding her voice. She wondered when the photo was even added to the album because she had never seen it before but admitted it had been a while since she'd gone through the album. They both watched as the scene played itself out over and over. Life had changed entirely for them in that photo, and neither of them really knew it.
They couldn't pinpoint the exact moment the photo was taken. It was a completely candid photo at some point during the dinner that Dumbledore took them to after Remus adopted Emma officially. It felt like so much time had passed since that day that it didn't even seem real anymore.
At some point that night, someone decided the moment needed to be remembered and took the photo, and Remus was wondering why. It seemed as though nothing of importance was going on. Dumbledore was sat at the end of the table, talking to Sage and Ellis. Caspian was looking around at everyone, just listening. Persephone appeared to have been talking to Lyall, her hands gesturing animatedly about whatever she was saying. Then Remus finally figured out why the picture was taken. It wasn't meant to show the entire scene, it was meant to show Emma and Remus how they once were together.
Emma's chair had been pressed up to Remus's at some point, and she was leaning into his side with his arm around her shoulders. Her smile, sleepy and happy, reached her eyes; it was genuine, and it was when Emma always used to smile like that. She would sneak a glance up at Remus before nuzzling her face into his chest, closing her eyes, and forgetting the others were there. Remus, when Emma wasn't looking, would peer down at her as if nothing else in the world mattered. He would gently brush her hair out of her face, a slow and loving smile crossing his face, and he would pull her a little closer. It was exactly what he wanted at the time, and God, he wished he could go back to that moment to fix things.
Though they were surrounded by others, it was like they were in their own little world, taking on the world as father and daughter for the first time. Remus had been nervous but delighted about Emma finally being his, and Emma was ecstatic to have him be her father. They were both excited at all of the possibilities, all of their unspoken plans.
It was a completely different time, one that wasn't ruined by fear or death or Greyback. The horrors of Emma's past weren't yet brought to the surface, and Remus wasn't completely terrified of Emma being exposed to the world just yet. Neither of them knew that their happiness would last less than a week. Even worse, Remus guiltily remembered that he had so quickly taken a step back and ignore all of the promises he made to Emma that day.
He never stopped taking care of her or worrying about her, of course, but he felt that he couldn't be her father. Remus felt that he had already failed her by allowing Greyback to get close to her, and he didn't want that responsibility anymore. After Greyback broke into her room, he felt the entire thing was a terrible decision, that it was his fault that the werewolf paid a visit. Remus had felt that having Emma as his was his way of acting on the selfish and guilt-provoking thoughts he had when she was just born. He just couldn't be that person anymore.
Remus remembered so many nights spent talking to Sirius discussing the possibility of just taking her and running off together. He remembered the way Sirius would laugh and say that they should – just run away from the war, move somewhere no one could find them, and raise Emma together. Sirius joked that they could fake their deaths, change their names, teach her magic themselves, and raise the strongest little witch that the world had ever seen. Of course, it also meant trying to figure out how to bring the others with them, but they would figure that out later. Sirius refused to go anywhere without James, and Remus admitted he would love Lily's company to help with the little girl. They both agreed that Peter had to come with them – he was such a huge part of their family of misfits.
Remus and Sirius desperately wanted a family together, and Emma was right there, ready-made. With the use of blood magic, it would be easy to make her look like the two of them. No one would ever know. Emma had inspired so much hope between the two of them, and he frowned as that thought flit through his mind.
He looked down at Emma, his brow furrowing slightly. One of the theories that he had come up with Dumbledore had involved Sirius. In fact, Sirius came up frequently in their discussions, and Remus hated it. He hated the possibility that Sirius could have been Secret-Keeper for both the Potters and Emma. Remus hated the idea that Sirius had been the traitor. He hated the potential that Emma could have died because of Sirius. But was that true? As Remus looked at the girl under his arm, he found himself doubting everything.
None of it made any sense, and he almost wished he could confront Sirius himself. Remus had almost wanted to find Sirius on Halloween, just to make him suffer for ruining everyone's lives. He had spent years imagining the moment but had given up on the idea – Sirius had been in Azkaban where he belonged. However, now Remus just wanted to hear what Sirius had to say and ask questions.
Remus knew that Sirius was lurking close by and could catch his scent on the breeze sometimes. The guilty part of him knew that he should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus, but he couldn't convince himself to tell the man. By telling Dumbledore that truth, it meant admitting he betrayed his trust while in school. Remus already felt enough guilt without adding that to his ever-growing list. He needed to talk to Sirius first.
If he were to confront Sirius, could Remus believe him? He wasn't sure that he could easily accept what Sirius had to say. However, Sirius had been in the cottage with Emma for days and didn't hurt her. All it would have taken was a swift killing curse using Emma's own wand, but he didn't. In fact, Sirius had taken care of her, something that had left him confused. Sirius's scent was the only one on Emma when he had returned from Paris and found her asleep on the couch. He had been the one to carefully wrap her up and move her to the couch, but Emma never said a word. She had no idea.
The very possibility running through his mind was impossible. That selfish part of him almost hoped for it to be true, but it made no sense. It would change so much, make him feel more guilty, but it didn't matter. It was impossible – it had to be impossible. Remus would have known. The new theory in his mind wouldn't have been something Sirius would have kept from him. Unless Sirius thought Remus was the spy and was a threat.
Remus couldn't help but suddenly feel like it wasn't a coincidence that Emma had been named Emma Hope at birth. It no longer felt like a coincidence that he was told an entirely different name for Emma.
"I think Professor McGonagall took the photo," Remus had said quietly, needing to pull himself out of his thoughts. He could think more about his theories later. Emma had come to him because she wanted to spend time with him, and he needed to be present for her.
Remus tried to take in everyone who was in the photo and noticed that she was the only one missing. He would have to thank her for it, but it didn't quite explain how the picture appeared in the first place. Perhaps it had been sent to Lyall, and he had tucked it into the album on one of their visits. Remus couldn't remember anyone having a camera, but Minerva could effortlessly transfigure a working camera. It wouldn't surprise him in the least.
Emma only hummed in agreement, staring at the photo for a little while longer. "This was only two years ago," Emma whispered, finally setting the image aside to nestle into Remus's side, just like in the picture. She curled up, tucking her head into the spot underneath his chin, and sighed. "What happened to us?"
That was the very question Remus asked himself often, wishing he had another answer than the only one he had. "Fear," he said softly, running his fingers through her hair. "Fear happened to us."
Another huff left Emma's lips as she closed her eyes, relaxing against him for the first time in what felt like months. Remus couldn't remember the last time Emma had been this relaxed in a cuddle, soft and serene. "That's stupid," she muttered with a yawn. It didn't take long for Emma to drift off, snoring lightly.
"It is," Remus whispered in agreement to her sleeping form as he watched the photo continue to play out.
Remus pulled himself back into the present, still watching as Emma ran her finger over her pajamas. She didn't appear to have noticed that he had stopped talking at all, too focused on her thoughts. Thinking about the previous night gave Remus an idea. He wasn't sure if it would work, but he would give it a try. They figured things out in the beginning, why couldn't they figure things out now? Things were a little more complicated now, but Remus was determined to help Emma again. He refused to give up on her.
"I want to try something," Remus said, finally ending their silence. She jumped slightly at his voice, her eyes lifting slightly and her brow furrowing at his interruption.
"What?" Emma asked quietly, just barely meeting his gaze.
"I want to teach you the Patronus charm."
Emma's face twisted in confusion. "Why? What good is it going to do?"
"It's the physical manifestation of happiness. Why shouldn't I teach you?"
"Because I'm not happy." Emma's eyes finally met his for the first time that night. There was such incredible sadness behind them, but there was curiosity. That curiosity was what Remus needed to bring forth and keep strong. She knew that the Patronus charm was extremely advanced magic and had expressed wanting to learn. Remus wasn't opposed to trying an unusual solution to help reframe Emma's thoughts, and she always liked a good challenge.
"Well, the good news is that the Patronus relies on happy memories," Remus said, sitting back in his chair. "You don't necessarily have to be happy to cast it; you just need to be able to pull that happiness from within."
"What if I don't have happy memories?" she snapped, curling into a tight ball on the couch.
That was the reaction Remus was afraid of. She was prone to lashing out in her fear, already having it in her head she couldn't accomplish things. Remus had gotten quite skilled that week at deciphering whether she was speaking out of fear or anger. This was absolutely fear.
"You mean to tell me that you've never felt happy before? I find that hard to believe." Remus knew what Emma was like when she was happy, had been reminded of it just the night prior, but she was scared. If he could convince her that she could cast the charm, then perhaps she could start to see things differently. Remus knew that he would never be able to change her past, but he needed her to see the possibilities of the future. He knew that Emma had the power to cast it, but it was all going to come down to whether she felt that she could.
Emma was quiet as she studied him, and then doubt came back in. She shook her head, turning to watch the fire. "I can't do it…"
"You've never even tried, so how do you know?"
"Because I do!" Emma said sharply, fixing him with a glare. "I know I can't." She turned her back to him, curling into the couch the opposite way.
Remus sighed and stood up from his chair and crouched down next to the couch. She begrudgingly met his gaze when he brushed the backs of his fingers against her cheek. It was a gesture he used to do frequently, a silent expression of his adoration for her. There was a flicker of recognition at the familiarity of the action in her eyes, and she relaxed slightly. Perhaps she missed the gesture; he would have to remember that.
"Will you please try for me? I know that you can do it."
"Fine," she said after a beat. She stretched herself out and made her way to her room to retrieve her wand. When she returned, she looked down at her wand in her hand and sighed. "I really don't think I can do this."
"You can," Remus said. He stepped in front of her, gently gripping her shoulders as he bent down to be on her level. "I promise – you are far stronger than you think. You can absolutely handle this."
"You told me that most people can't make a Patronus, though," Emma said, looking nervous.
"I did, but you're not like most people. Do you know the incantation?"
"No," Emma said, shifting Remus's hands off of her shoulders. "You never told me."
"Well, it's very simple," Remus said, straightening up and placing his hands in his pockets instead. "Repeat after me -" A small smile crept onto Emma's face, but she quickly rubbed it off her face. It was easier for her to handle Remus as a teacher, but not much else, and he was okay with that. They were taking things one day at a time, after all. "- Expecto patronum."
"Expecto patronum."
"Very good," he said softly. "But that's the easy part, much like any spell that requires force of mind. You have to think of a happy memory and allow that memory to fill you up until. Do you think you can do that?"
"No," Emma answered quietly. "But I know that's not what you want me to say."
Remus chuckled and stepped off to the side to clear the way. He thought about bringing her down to the classroom to try and teach the spell, but their living room would be adequate. It would be some time before she could achieve anything substantial. "Because I know that you can do it," he said. "Close your eyes – try to think of something that has made you happy in the past."
Emma cast Remus a doubtful look but closed her eyes anyway. This was like the Boggart all over again, but harder. With the Boggart, all she had to do was visualize something funny, but the Patronus meant she needed something more concrete. Emma supposed that there had to be some time where she felt truly happy. It wasn't as though she had lived her life entirely feeling as though she was locked in her mental prison. But what made her happy?
Chocolate, of course. She adored dogs, and despite knowing that Snuffles – Padfoot – was actually a man, she had enjoyed her time with him when he was a dog. She loved books a lot. But did any of those lead to true happiness?
She knew that she had to dig a little deeper, but it was frustrating. The only moment that she could really think of off the top of her head was the first time Persephone kissed her. It was her first kiss, so that had to be a happy memory, right?
"I think I have one," Emma said, opening her eyes and looking up at Remus, incredibly unsure.
"Do you think that it's strong?"
Emma frowned, trying to think about that moment again. "I think so."
"Then give it a try."
Taking a deep breath, Emma held her wand out, trying to imagine that night. The entirety of dinner had been terribly awkward, but she remembered the nervous look on Persephone's face. She remembered the way they just seemed to gravitate towards one another, the nervous holding of hands, the gentle brush of their lips. It had been ages since Emma had felt that same fluttery feeling, and that was the feeling she tried to bring forth.
"Expecto patronum," Emma said, willing for something, anything to happen. When not even the wisp of the spell came from her wand, she looked up at Remus crestfallen. She couldn't do it, just like she'd said.
Remus's smile was gentle, just as it always was. "Don't get discouraged – that was only your first try. Try it again. Try to bring that memory up again, allow it to fill you up, and speak the incantation."
Emma didn't think that she would get anywhere with the spell, but she would try. Maybe if she just focused a little more? She tried to think more about that night, about what was said. What had they even talked about? Emma could scarcely remember. Her thoughts shifted to where they had been earlier that day – no, that wouldn't do. They were at St. Mungo's earlier in the day, that wasn't what she was meant to be thinking of. No, she needed to remember that fluttering feeling, that small glimmer of hope in the darkness. When she was sure that the feeling had settled into her being, Emma decided to try it again.
"Expecto patronum." Again, nothing happened, and Emma unconsciously leaned against Remus's arm. "I can't do it…"
"You lost your focus half-way through," Remus said, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side. "That's where most people find they struggle. They have the memory, but for some reason, something else slips in. Here, straighten up." Remus stepped behind Emma and placed his hands on her upper arms to keep her upright. "Close your eyes and try and think about that memory again. Let me try and walk you through this."
She heaved a heavy sigh but closed her eyes. "Now what?"
"Now, I just need you to listen and focus on what I'm saying. I want you to pull up that memory again – bring it to the forefront of your mind and focus on it. Don't worry about the details just yet, just remember being in the moment."
That part was easy. It didn't take Emma much to think of the garden behind her grandfather's home, and it didn't take her long to think of herself and Persephone. It was cold – that she knew, and she was present. Unsure of how much Remus wanted her to think about, she gave a small nod.
"Good. Now I want you to think of what was happening in your memory, but don't focus on the details just yet."
Well, they were talking. Emma could remember that. She had been aggravated the entire time, but then things took a sudden turn. She remembered the way Persephone looked at her more nervous than she had ever seen in her life. She remembered Persephone closing most of the space between them and just standing in front of her and the two of them staring at each other. It had been nerve-wracking, and it was –
"Sweetheart," Remus said gently, giving her a small shake, "relax, you're tensing up. Don't lose your focus."
Oh. She was tense, wasn't she? She could feel the stiffness of her shoulders, and she took a deep breath to try and force herself to settle back into the memory. For some reason, all she could focus on was how she couldn't get her shoulders to relax. As if reading her mind, Remus gently rubbed her arms, and she felt herself finally lose the tension that she had. Maybe she could do this.
"Now, I want you to start to remember the small details. What was the weather like? What colors can you see? What smells can you remember? I want you to imagine all those tiny details."
It was cold, Emma had already remembered that. It wasn't terribly cold because they were both bundled up in their cloaks. The ground was covered in fresh snow, but Lyall had moved most of it aside earlier that day, leaving most of the ground clear. She could see the way their breaths rose in the cold air. The air was crisp and clear. Persephone wore a dress in emerald green, while Emma had on her black velvet dress – Remus gave her arms a squeeze as if he knew where her thoughts were about to wander – but mostly she remembered how close they stood together. Emma had never stood that close to someone before.
She could remember the nervous glitter of Persephone's eyes, the shy smile on her lips. Emma could never deny the fact that her best friend was absolutely beautiful. Emma took another deep breath and gave another small nod.
"Perfect," Remus praised. "Try to keep all of those things in focus and think about what exactly it was that made you happy."
That was going to be a little harder, Emma thought to herself. But as she dove into the memory, she realized that it wasn't that hard at all. She had been nervous, sure, but there was a sort of giddy energy that one could associate with a first kiss. There was the fluttering of butterflies in her stomach, the excitement over someone wanting to kiss her, the tingling, and the feeling as though she was about to burst. And then they had kissed again, less nervous and far surer than before. It was an intoxicating feeling, and she huffed out a laugh as she felt herself smile at the memory.
"I have it," Emma said, opening her eyes. "It's hard to keep it there, though."
Remus stepped over to her right side so that he could look at her. "I can see that you have it," he said, gently tapping her temple. "It's all right here. Just try to focus – let those feelings consume you and try again."
Emma lifted her wand and tried to keep a tight hold to those feelings. "Expecto patronum," she said. At first, Emma was sure that nothing had happened and was about to deflate, but Remus reached out and kept her arm held up.
"Don't," Remus said quickly, his eyes trained on the end of her wand. "I saw something. Try it again."
Was he lying to her to try and get her to try again? She cast him a skeptical look, but he shook his head, and she faced forward and stared at her wand. She saw nothing happen. She sighed and figured it wouldn't hurt to try and focus a little harder.
"Expecto patronum."
This time Emma did see something happen, and she let out a gasp at the faint wisp of silver that escaped her wand. Her awed wonder fell to confusion and then annoyance. "That's it?" she huffed out. "I thought it was supposed to be something."
Remus had to clear his throat to cover his snort at the indignation in her voice. There was a pure innocence that sometimes came from somewhere deep within Emma. Such a rare moment just seemed to happen at near inopportune times and would catch Remus off guard, but this was good. If this was how he had to help her find her happiness, then he would take all the time in the world to help her figure it out. It was incredibly advanced, he knew that, but her stubbornness would guide her. Emma was a Lupin, after all.
"Well, when you have the right memory, it'll form a creature – a shield that's an extension of yourself," Remus said thoughtfully. "Do you think you could manage that again?"
"Yes, but better," Emma said, determined to have something more than a wisp. There was the fire that Remus had always admired. This was what she needed. He just wished he'd thought of it much sooner.
"Good. Try it again, but don't be disappointed if it's not much." Remus knew it wouldn't be much. He had almost seen the exact memory in her mind – it wasn't hard to figure out. The most common memories people used involved the people that they loved. It would be entirely logical for Emma's first thought to go to Persephone and their first kiss. It was a start, but Remus knew firsthand that wasn't a strong enough memory to use, no matter who the person was.
Emma nodded and forced herself to focus on the memory again. This time it was much easier for her to pull the feeling out – to remember that overwhelming sense of joy.
"Expecto patronum!" Though the silver wisp was still a wisp, it was more substantial than the first, but Emma was disappointed. And terribly exhausted. Was it supposed to be this exhausting? She allowed Remus to pull her back into his side, and she leaned into him willingly, putting her arm around him and closing her eyes. "That wasn't anything…"
"On the contrary, that was impressive for a fourteen-year-old witch," Remus said proudly. "I told you that you could do it."
"But I didn't actually make a Patronus," Emma muttered, turning herself so that she could put her other arm around Remus to hug him.
"Not a corporeal one, no, but you proved that you can cast the spell," Remus said, leaning back so that he could take Emma's face in his hands. "You are stronger than you think. Most can't even get as far as you did."
"Really?"
"Really."
Emma frowned slightly and pulled her face out of Remus's hands so that she could bury her face in his chest. "Well, they didn't have you as a teacher."
Remus was taken aback and wasn't sure what to say to that, but he couldn't help but find him secretly pleased. Instead of saying anything, he allowed himself to just be content. Maybe they both needed this.
So, hi, hello - FINALLY finished my complete edit of the first story of the series. I went from 89k-ish words to 114 (oops). Lots of minor content added, issues with characters (that I 100% thought I fixed before posting) have been adjusted, and just over-all major grammar updates - it's a good time.
Really, if you haven't read or it's been a while since you've read A Window to the Past I recommend it. It's not dark like the rest of the series has been and will be.
A few things I want to just throw out there, just because I feel like I need to say it -
1. We're out of the MAJOR angst for year three. There'll be some light angst as certain things come up, but we're out of the proverbial and literal dark for this book.
2. I literally scrapped the original second half of this book to change directions because I found original plot points that I forgot from the first book. In order to avoid having to retcon myself in the next four installments, I decided to switch things up. I'm keeping my schedule to a chapter a week, but I plan to catch up quickly. This means there might be more/less chapters than anticipated. We have a lot of ground to cover.
3. I would like to mention that the mentions of Fenrir is genuinely a warning of things to come. Please, please, PLEASE keep that in mind as we get through the rest of Emma's third year and beyond.
That being said, if you're on Tumblr or Twitter, I 100% love talking about this series. I can be found as - mymoonyandstars on both platforms :)