ATM: The Bonehead and the Brain – Angry Confetti
The Shield moves to Hollywood and Seth and Sasha continue their long distance relationship.
Will Stephanie McMahon Hardy and Bayley Black Heart succeed in taking NXT from Triple H?
Find out in the next episode of The Bonehead and the Brain.
A/N: This chapter contains suggestive language that is not suitable for younger readers.
Chapter Twenty One – Flying with Friends and Enemies
Meanwhile Alexa Bliss was in the air with the Shield and Sasha Banks, the latter of whom was itching for the Little Great One to touch down so she could spend time with her husband Seth Rollins.
"Bliss have mercy I'm a pregnant woman I can't go this long without getting it on with my hot ass husband!" Sasha complained. "Please Maid of Armour I'm getting seriously twitchy, down there,"
"Ew, tmi!" Alexa complained and Seth shrugged.
"The twitchier the better," he said and he hi-fived the Shield while Alexa scowled at him.
"This is not the time to be making love to your wife Seth we have an assignment and we are on it. Sorry Banks but you're going to have to endure hard times right now momma, we got trouble and her name is Bayley Black Heart," Alexa said and Sasha laid back on Shawl exasperated.
"Fine I'll just pretend I'm not as hot as I look," she said patting her upper thigh playfully and Seth blushed enamoured by his wife's advances. Dean and Roman had a look at her upper thigh from over Seth's shoulder and he knocked them back indignantly when they noticed that there was a bruise there.
"Did that come from Harvard?" Roman asked Banks.
"What are you talking about?" Banks said.
"There's a bruise on your upper thigh," Dean said pointing to Sasha's leg and Sasha quickly sat up and pulled her dress down.
"Great now I'm really distracted," Alexa said turning to Banks. "Where did you get that bruise?"
"Well I took your advice and decided to try and role play with Seth and things got kinda violent, hence the bruise," Sasha said and Seth glared at his wife.
"That is not True I have been nothing but a gentleman, you take that back right now Sasha!" Seth said defensively and Sasha laughed along with Alexa.
"Relax daddy pants, I got it on set with the Rock and John Cena. It was an action movie there was bound to be a couple of bruises, you should see the one on my upper shoulder," she said and she showed everyone the massive bruise on her left shoulder blade.
"Wow you are so tough," Alexa said impressed but she could tell Seth was not.
"So when were you going to tell me about this?" he asked Sasha annoyed.
"Obviously during sex which we still haven't had yet! I've been back for three days Rollins why are you making me wait like this? Alexa please touch down I'm dying to get down!"
"Sasha pipe down not in front of Shawl!" Seth said not wanting his wife to get too graphic about their sex life.
"Well when are you going to make love to me?" Sasha complained and Seth blushed while Roman and Dean laughed.
"Did I not mention that we got Bayley trouble? That should be enough to kill anyone's sex drive," Alexa said.
"But I'm twitchy, I could get on with Bayley if it meant I could have sex with my husband. In fact let me call her and make a truce and then after we've done it we can get back to hating her," Sasha said and Seth sighed.
"Babe please try to re-focus. We've got all week to do it, for now let's just find out what Bayley's up to," Seth said and Sasha fell back in frustration and Seth came up with an idea but it would require some co-operation from the Shield. "Can you guys turn around and close your eyes for like ten minutes?"
"Why?" Dean said and Seth gave him a warning glare.
"I just wanna check my wife for something and its private, so if you don't mind just turn around and close your eyes please?" Seth said very implicitly.
"What is it a rash or-"
"Dean just turn around! Roman cover your eyes and Alexa, pretend you're having one of your daily fantasies about me," Seth said and the Shield co-operated while Seth pressed his lips against his wife's mouth and gave her some attention where she needed it the most.
Ten minutes later all was well and Sasha didn't complain for another ten minutes while Seth re-focused on the attack that was about to come their way.
"Okay where is she where's Bayley?" Seth said looking around.
"I'm right here baby," came the sultry voice of Bayley Black Heart and everyone looked over and saw Bayley riding on Stephanie's back. "Looking good Rollins, congratulations on the baby. Sasha why are you smiling, are you that happy to see me?"
Sasha tried to re-focus but her pregnancy hormones were starting to get a little noisy and the last thing she wanted was to fight with Bayley.
"Remember that thing I used to do to you in all those fanfiction stories fans sent to us when we were a tag team?" Sasha said and Bayley laughed. "Seth just did that to me,"
"I'm sure he was thinking of me the whole time, we have identical lady parts," Bayley said and Seth blushed while Alexa didn't know where to put her hands.
"I don't know whether to cover my eyes or my ears!" she said. "How would you even know something like that?!"
"We have matching guy parts," Roman said pointing to Seth and Rollins hid behind his wife while she burst out laughing. "It's a surprisingly common thing among best friends,"
"But we're not best friends anymore so I guess you look a little different down there these days," Sasha said.
"Wouldn't you like to know," Bayley said and Alexa gasped.
"No I don't think she would like to know Bayley I don't even want to know how this conversation is going to end! Poor Shawl, I'm sorry you had to hear all this crass and unholy talk!" Alexa said patting Seth's prayer shawl.
"We're just being sociable, this is the first time we've spoken since the major announcement that you're pregnant. Allow me to follow up with an announcement of my own; Seth's in love with me and your marriage is a sham," Bayley said to Sasha.
"That's not funny Bayley, you know that's not true," Sasha said.
"No it is true and I can't wait for the world to hear that announcement as soon as Seth gets tired of your lady parts and chooses mine," Bayley said.
"But I thought they were identical, why would he want to switch if they're the same?" Alexa said. "Is it just me or did what Bayley say make absolutely no sense?"
"No you're right she's talking BS, our lady parts might match but our personalities sure don't and Seth doesn't have time for an insecure sociopath like you when he can have a strong, confident bona fide Boss like me," Sasha said flicking her hair over her shoulder passionately and Seth got inspired.
"And on what days would he be able to see you Sasha? Since your trajectory is on the westside these days. Surely it won't be long before he starts to forget what those lovely lady parts of yours look like," Bayley teased Sasha.
"No that's impossible, Seth remember that naked photo of Sasha I sent you?" Dean said to Seth who grimaced.
"I still don't want to know how you got that photo," Seth replied.
"We got into the shower at the same-time and we didn't know who should leave first, so I took a photo of her and said sorry for the mix-up. When I saw the long hair I assumed it was Roman who was taking the shower," Dean explained.
"You shower with Roman?" Stephanie asked. "You guys are so weird I don't know what Sasha and Alexa and Bayley see in you guys,"
"For the record I thought Roman was coming out of the shower, I did not go into the shower knowing he was going to be in there. We passed that stage of our friendship years ago and I have made peace with all of our respective members where that is concerned," Dean said and everyone looked at him strangely. "What I'm saying is that I'm not gay,"
"Oh," everyone replied. "Can we get back to finding out what you want Bayley?" Alexa said feeling a migraine coming on from all the sex talk that she was not in the mood for. It was becoming glaringly obvious that she was going to have to deal with her lack of a sex life to stay on the team. It was really getting to her and the only person that seemed to understand that was Bianca Belair.
"We're going to educate ourselves on how to destroy Triple H, if you wanna find out how we suggest you follow us to Harvard. You know Harvard pretty well don't you Seth and Sasha?" Stephanie said.
"Yes its where I got pregnant," Sasha said and Bayley's heart fluttered anxiously.
"You got pregnant that night I filmed you and Seth having sex in Hayworth's dorm?" Bayley asked and Sasha nodded. Bayley's face suddenly crumbled, "So in a way I was part of that,"
"Yeah in a weird, twisted and sick way you were Bayley. I guess you had to learn about sex somehow," Sasha said as Bayley tried not to get too emotional even though on the inside she was genuinely happy for them.
"Oh I know all about sex, don't I Seth?" Bayley said to Seth flirtatiously.
"What is that supposed to mean? Don't think because I'm pregnant I won't kick your ass Bayley!" Sasha warned Bayley Blackheart and the former NXT Champion laughed while Stephanie flew away to Harvard.
"Let's follow them," Seth said before checking on Sasha. "Are you okay babe?"
"I'll be fine once we get to Harvard and find Hayworth's dorm," Sasha said stroking Seth's face implicitly.
"Here we go again, I hope Hayworth's checked out already," Roman said as Seth and Sasha kissed in a prelude to their follow up from the last time they were in Hayworth's dorm room. "Don't it bother you guys that Bayley's going to be there again too?"
"Sure it does but pregnancy sex can't wait!" Sasha replied and Alexa tried to re-focus for the millionth time as the subject of sex continued to distract her. If things kept going this way Sasha and Seth weren't going to be the only one having sexual relations this week.
"Be strong, its just the hormones they make pregnant women extra twitchy. Don't let it throw you off just focus on keeping Seth covered in prayer," Roman said to Alexa and she nodded appreciating input from the Big Dog,
"Thanks Roman I really appreciate that but I don't know how much longer I can keep going as a single person. Its like going from being a vegan to wanting to eat meat all the time," she explained and Dean Ambrose laughed. "What?" Alexa asked him.
"Alexa wants to eat meat Roman so try not to get too close to her," Dean said and Alexa laughed thanking God she had the Shield around to take her mind off the very clear problem she faced hanging around all these happily married and sexually active couples. She had no time to date thanks to Bayley but the sooner she started dating the better it would be for everybody, or at least that's what she wanted to believe.