It wasn't awkward afterwards. Kurt thought it would be but he didn't feel ashamed or guilty or awkward at all right now. All he felt was overwhelming love and relief, all the warm fuzzy feelings that come from connecting to somebody you love.
When they were done giggling together on the bed after making love together, they had to get up. Both of them were sweaty, sticky, dirty and smelled terrible. Which Kurt told Blaine as they got up, claiming they both stink. Blaine only laughed before pulling him in for another kiss and then smiled at him.
"You wanna have a bath with me?" Blaine had asked then as he stood from the bed, in all his messy naked glory, and although Kurt was waiting for the feeling of being shy and intimidated by being naked with him, it didn't come.
Instead, the bath with Blaine sounded incredible and exciting.
"Do you want to get in first?" Blaine asked again with a smile, "i'll look away if you want."
"You know what the strange thing is," Kurt laughed as he sat up on the bed, not covering himself or feeling the need to as Blaine put his hand over his eyes as a joke, "i really don't feel like i need to cover up anymore."
"That's good, because," Blaine paused as he knelt on the bed next to Kurt, looking at him with so much want in his eyes again, "i would burn all of your clothes and just keep you like this forever."
"Naked, smelly and sticky?" Kurt asked sarcastically with a giggle.
"You don't smell," Blaine laughed a little but swept his eyes over Kurt's naked form with admiration on his face, and Kurt blushed but didn't hide any part of himself, "i would keep you just like this...all this clear smooth skin and long legs and muscle on show."
"Oh stop." Kurt said as he rolled his eyes but he couldn't help the proud smile that lit up his face.
"I won't stop. I'll never stop."
Blaine leaned forward and trailed kisses down the length of Kurt's neck and then down his chest, following the path just underneath his collarbone, coming to a stop in the middle and licking a little of the sweat that had accumulated in the small delve in the centre. Kurt moaned a little as Blaine trailed his tongue over his skin, and moved his hands smoothly up Blaine's biceps, squeezing the muscle underneath his palms.
"You talk about me having muscle, you have a lot more." Kurt breathed out, becoming turned on again as Blaine's mouth made another path up his neck again.
"You have more definition." Blaine mumbled against his neck before pulling himself back, "come on, let's go take that bath before anything else happens."
"Is something else going to happen?" Kurt asked with a small grin, as he moved forward on the bed to stand up with Blaine.
"Oh yes. After we get clean, we're going to get dirty again." Blaine said with confidence and a smirk as Kurt shook his head as he followed him into the bathroom across the hall.
"i'm not sure i can do that again," Kurt mumbled a little as he winced when Blaine glanced at him, "not that it hurt but you know.."
"I know," Blaine gave him a sympathetic look, as he turned the taps on for filling the huge tub in the bathroom, "but who said you had to be bottom again?"
Kurt's head whipped around to see Blaine smiling as he poured some liquid bubbles that he found, into the water. Kurt's eyes widened slightly but waited to repsond when Blaine looked back at him.
"You want to?" He asked and Blaine looked at him with confusion.
"Well, i at least want to try it. Our relationship has to be equal right? Plus, you seemed to enjoy it," Blaine explained with a grin and Kurt chuckled a little, "so i want to do it too."
"erm..." Kurt hesitated and Blaine quickly backpedalled.
"Obviously not if you don't feel like you can, we can always just have this bath together and then cuddle?"
Kurt laughed as he put his hand on Blaine's cheek, smoothing his thumb over his cheekbone lightly.
"Honey, i do want to try everything with you," Kurt reassured him as he met Blaine's gaze, "i'm just afraid of hurting you."
"I get it. I felt the same," Blaine replied as he took Kurt's hand and brought it to his lips, placing a kiss on the palm before pulling Kurt closer and placing his forehead against his, "i was terrified that i was going to hurt you, or that i wouldn't be good enough."
"Baby.." Kurt closed his eyes as they stood just breathing together for a few moments.
The bath filled up while they were taking a moment together, and Blaine quickly reached over to turn the water off before resuming his position in front of Kurt.
"We don't have to. Just like you said before, we have to be 100% sure of everything we do together, otherwise we don't do it. So if you're not sure, we will just leave it for another time. It's all still so new, so i don't mind waiting until you're ready Kurt. I love you. I'll wait forever."
Kurt leaned in to kiss him deeply after that, he could not believe that somebody loved him so much, but on the other hand he could believe it. It was Blaine. His best friend, his confidant, his light in the dark, his voice of reason, his comfort, his future. He was the love of his life and he felt so warm and safe with him. Nothing existed outside of them now, nothing else mattered but Blaine.
As they wound their tongues together gently, lazily kissing and moaning into each other's mouths softly, Kurt felt that burst of love and happiness inside him. He pulled his lips away from Blaine's gently, and placed small chaste kisses on his lips and then one on his nose before dropping his head on Blaine's shoulder and hugging him tightly.
"I'm not 100% about that yet." he admitted softly and Blaine's hand ran through his hair gently as the other arm wrapped around Kurt's waist.
"And it's ok. We'll do it whenever we're both ready." Blaine whispered back, placing small kisses along Kurt's shoulder and then into his hair, "and we really need to get in this bath before the water goes cold."
Kurt giggled and kissed the side of Blaine's neck before agreeing, stepping back and allowing Blaine to get inside the tub first before he decided to turn his back and step in so that he could sit in Blaine's lap.
The water was warm, and it felt incredible. And as he placed his back against Blaine's chest behind him, he relaxed and sighed out loud.
Blaine placed his arms around him, and Kurt caught his hands and began playing with his fingers gently. They were both in a state of bliss together, and Blaine placed a small kiss on the back of Kurt's left shoulder before placing his chin over it.
"Kurt... can I ask you something?"
Kurt nudged Blaine's head gently with his own and giving him a smile.
"Of course, anything."
"I don't want to ruin the mood, but do you ever think about the future?" Blaine asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the atmosphere around them but he was curious about Kurt's answer.
"What? What brought this on?"
"I don't know, it's just... you and I, like this..." Blaine explaine dwhile running his fingertips gently over Kurt's wrists and forearms, feeling the goosebumps break out on Kurt's skin as his boyfriend shivered against him, " this is perfect. I want this for the rest of my life. And I never had these kind of thoughts before. Does that sound crazy?"
"If you're crazy then so am I." Kurt said with a little snort of laughter, "I want that too. I used to dream about our life together."
"Really? And what did you dream about?" Blaine asked a little surprised at the admission and he saw Kurt's cheek blush lightly as he smiled.
"Big house, nice cars...you and me coming home from work to each other, cooking dinner together, sleeping in the same bed every night. Just loving you forever." He admitted to Blaine with a blush that ran from his cheeks around his ears and down his neck, but to Blaine there was nothing else in the world that looked more adorable than Kurt right now.
Blaine hugged him tighter, and was placing small fluttering kisses against his shoulder for a few seconds, watching as the embarrassment left Kurt and he sighed as he relaxed back against him again.
"I want that all too." Blaine whispered a little as he hooked his chin back over his shoulder, as Kurt snuggled backwards and turned his head to nuzzle his nose on Blaine's cheek, "You know, since I was a kid all i worried about, was that nobody discovered my powers, i didn't think about any thing else but now... for the first time, I look to the future and I want things. I want to be with you, I need to make you happy. And it's scary, but... I like that feeling."
Kurt hummed in agreement, his eyes closing as he lay against Blaine's body.
"Love is risky, giving someone a piece of your heart is always scary. But I know I would rather risk it all for you." He knew it was cheesy, and he could tell by the way Blaine chuckled a little that he also knew it was cheesy but it was also true.
Kurt would risk everything and anything for Blaine. In a heartbeat.
"I never thought I could love someone the way I love you, Kurt. Can we just stay here forever? In this house, in this bathtub... I don't need anything else." Blaine added another level to their cheesiness, and even though the words were spoken in jest, Kurt knew that the undertones of that statement were heavy.
The fact that they couldn't stay, the fact that they could be caught at any moment. But he wanted to keep up the pretense for as long as time would allow him. There was a domesticity that he was finding he really enjoyed, and time with Blaine, even just talking was in his mind a luxury right now. They had no idea how much time they had left.
So he just snorted in laughter and sighed out loud.
"God I want it, I want it so much. Like a dream I don't want to wake up from."
Kurt pushed himself back more into Blaine's chest, and nuzzling a cheek against one of his hands, and lightly running his lips over the skin on the back of his knuckles.
"If this is a dream, I don't care. Don't wake me up, ok? Just let me cuddle you while I sleep."
"Yeah we can dream. We can dream forever."
Even though they were both playing around, it was unspoken just how long they could spend here. It seemed to be the unspoken rule of the night, not to bring up anything that would destroy their little bubble.
Blaine wanted to ask. He wanted to discuss options with Kurt about what they were going to do next, but he remained silent. He kissed Kurt's shoulder again, loving the feel of smooth skin against his lips.
"Do you think we would have been married? Do you ever think about us like that? Being married?" Kurt asked, his voice soft and gentle, as if he was thinking about it.
"Yes." Blaine answered almost immediately, "Yes, I want to marry you. Not right now, of course. I mean, I'm not proposing, you know that. But yes. And... maybe one day, we could have a kid. Do you want kids?"
"Wait," Kurt turned to pout at him playfully, "You're not proposing right now?"
"Kurt! Don't play with me!" Blaine laughed out loud and splashed him with the bubbly water and Kurt giggled as he held his hands up.
"Fine. Yes I do want kids. Plural. I grew up an only child and not having any brothers or sisters, well...until Finn came along, it wasn't much fun and a little lonely. So if kids are in our plan, it will be more than 1."
Blaine suddenly belts out a laugh so loud that it made Kurt jump in fright and smile at the same time.
"What?"
"Sorry, it's just that... I never wanted to have children. I was too afraid that i would pass on something, and they wouldn't be normal...like me. And now as i sit here, i can imagine it. You and me in a few years and two, three children, whatever you want, and it seems like the best plan ever." Blaine finally explained through his chuckles, and Kurt just sat mesmerized at the look of joy in Blaine's eyes.
"Well, sometimes it's strange how plans change right?" Kurt turned to grin at him.
"Yeah, really strange." Blaine gave him a matching grin as he leaned in for a kiss, soft and slow, almost lazy, before he pulled back and placed one wet hand over Kurt's cheek, "You changed my life, Kurt."
"You changed mine too. I've never been so grateful to know you as I do right now. I love you." Kurt responded as they both closed their eyes in contentment.
"I love you too, baby."