Thank you for your reviews as always I really enjoy hearing what you think, there is a significant time jump here. So as point of reference in the last chapter Haley left to go to college in June.

Chapter 21

6 months later - December 12th

Nathan groaned at the shrill ringing of the alarm from where he was lying flat on his stomach, he frowned as he ducked his head in other the pillow. 'Dammit…' He grumbled, how did that bloody thing end up in his room again?

'Are you that lazy you're not even going to turn it off.' Lucas jibbed him from where he was standing in his bedroom door with his bowl of cereal munching away.

'No I didn't put it in here.' Nathan mumbled incoherently from under the pillow.

'Oh do I hear an alarm going off does that mean we actually had a late one?' Brooke mused bouncing into his bedroom.

'Isn't it time you went back to New York?' Nathan grumbled again and without having any choice in the matter he had to get up to entertain the two in his room and the stupid alarm clock. Nathan slapped the buttons on the damn thing.

'So it was a late one?'

'I got in at 1am.' Nathan said. 'Is that seriously why you put an alarm in here?'

'Well yea I figured subconsciously you might party late, sleep in…' Brooke mused.

Nathan looked at Lucas like she was crazy.

'Don't look at me. 'He defended. 'I had no say in this.'

'You're trying to unleash a beast Brooke you know I'm not about that lifestyle anymore.'

'I know but one-party night a week can't hurt besides you need to get back out there Ha..'

'Don't…' Both Lucas and Nathan said at the same time then.

Brooke's eyes widened. Clearly more progress needed to be made here. 'Well she who shall not be names is probably out having her own fun…'

'I don't need to hear this.' Nathan mumbled.

'Look at least she didn't go to college a virgin so you don't have to worry about that.'

'Brooke.' Nathan scolded her.

'What?'

'He only found that out last week.' Nathan mumbled in Lucas' direction.

'OH… Brooke said. 'Whoopsie.'

'Well you can't be Mr judge over there.' Brooke said to Lucas. 'Me and you have done it in a car multiple times Luke you hardly expect…'

Nathan's eyes widened even more at her as she realised her error.

'You had sex with her in the car…her first time?' Lucas said going back on what Brooke had said.

Nathan ran his hands throw his hair frustrated. It was too early for this. 'Yea and I've bet myself up enough over it so you don't need to do the same.'

Brooke gave Lucas a look and he just sighed. 'You're lucky I'm warming to you or I would beat your ass right about now.'

'I'd like to see you try.'

Brooke just smiled at the two, it had been fascinating to see the change in their relationship, every time she came to visit they seemed to be growing closer in that brother like way. She could see the change in Lucas, the sense of relief he felt from holding onto the what if tales he'd been telling himself his entire life when it came to Nathan. And Nathan too was letting go of the conditioned notions he held for him and not holding onto it all anymore.

1 week after Haley left

Lucas trailed along the path to the rivercourt, his grey hoodie thrown over him and his ragged basketball under his arm. There he spotted Nathan on the bleachers rolling a basketball of his own between his fingers.

'Are you going to accept Whitey's offer?'

Nathan stopped rolling the ball as he glanced across at Lucas, eyebrows slightly raised surprised by the casual way that question left his mouth as if they'd spoken like this before. They hadn't.

Nathan shrugged. 'I don't really know if it's what I want right now.'

Whitey was going to be taken over a team at Gilmore College a college that had no history that warranted much praise or success. He had mentioned it to Nathan he'd like to take him under his wing, make the team great. In the end Nathan hadn't being offered a scholarship to play, his school records and grades couldn't justify the offer in the end.

'I think it would be good, I mean even if you're not sure about the basketball part you could get some kind of degree. At least that's what I'm going to do.'

'Is this some kind of reverse psychology where you really don't want me there but you're making it seem otherwise?' Nathan frowned.

Lucas just scoffed. 'No that game's getting old.' He said.

'Brooke put you up to this.' Nathan said then.

'No and if I told her I was talking to you my head would be done in so please don.t'

A small smile tugged at the corner of Nathan's lips. 'This is like something she would initiate.'

'Whatever you need to say about Haley you may as well just get it out….' Nathan mumbled then.

Lucas sighed as she dropped down to the seat beside Nathan.

'You know Haley was my best friend growing up, and the thought that she knew you as a kid too, I got so angry I didn't want you to take her from me too so I fought back so hard, it wasn't my place to try and control her like that.'

'Haley never seen it like that' Nathan said.

'I know but when I realised how scared she was to tell me about you it just made me feel like I was doing that.'

Silence fell between them for a short while, two estranged brothers on the one court that could bring them together if the girl they both missed so dearly hadn't already.

'I'm not mad, not anymore. She deserves brown I think she needs be fully away from this place for a while, you put her first and I can't be mad at you for that.'

'I always will.' Nathan said effortlessly.

'Then we don't have a problem.'

From that day onwards a rather cautious and gradual relationship developed between the two brothers. In ways they were still learning about each other, sharing stories, and adjusting to being in each other's life. But Brooke could clearly see the positive side effects it was having on each of them.

'So as much as I hate to leave you two I have to get back today.'

'That's a shame.' Nathan mused.

Brooke just stuck her tongue out at him. 'you better get your ass to a party this weekend or I'm coming back up here.'

'Yea I'll even go high school Brooke and black out if that makes you happy.'

'No need to get personal here.' She quipped before she turned to Lucas. 'Bye baby.'

Nathan grimaced. 'Please can you not say goodbye to each other in my doorway.'

The pair of them just laughed. Nathan knew they did this to wind him up.

XXXXX

Nathan lifted his tank top up swiping the sweat from his forehead as Lucas called it game. He blew out a heavy breath. 'You know I didn't think this year we would be training harder than we did with the ravens…'

Lucas nodded his breathing heavy too. 'Yea but its payed off this semester, people are already noticing the college team it was unheard of for years.'

'Well that's because I'm on it.' Nathan mused as Lucas rolled his eyes.

'Nice to know some things haven't changed between us.'

Nathan just laughed. 'Yea I'll always be better at ball Luke.'

Lucas just shook his head. 'I'm gonna try catch Whitey before he closes up. What did he want anyway?'

'Just to say thanks I guess…I think the man is getting sentimental in his old age, I actually prefer him when he is grumpy.'

Lucas made his way across the gym just as his phone rang out from his bag. 'Get that will you if it's an out of area number its Brooke her phone was running out of charge….'

Nathan jogged over to his bag reaching for the phone where sure enough the unsaved number rang out. 'Did they let you on the plane this time?' Nathan teased as he answered the call.

There was silence of the other end. Absolutely nothing.

Nathan frowned. 'Brooke?' He questioned then.

Haley's heart was thumping a mile a minute, her hands broken out into a balmy sweat, she hadn't expected to hear his voice, his playful tone.

It had the butterflies like giant moths swarming her tummy again. It had been so long.

She pushed the confusion aside; the fact Nathan was answering Luke's phone looking for Brooke and released a heavy breath before she spoke. Her voice was shaky. 'Nathan…'

He gripped the phone tighter to prevent himself from dropping it at the sound of her voice as shivers flittered through his sweating frame. 'Haley?'

Nathan turned in the direction Luas went grimacing, if he got to Whitey there was no way he was getting off this call. He felt himself sweating, his nerves frazzled, his throat dried up. She always had the ability to send him spiralling, floundering like a little school boy in a matter of seconds even just across a phone line.

He heard her soft sigh. 'I miss you. I can say that can't I?' Haley said softly.

Nathan swallowed hard. 'I miss you too.' He countered letting out a shaky breath. 'How's Brown?'

Not what I thought.' 'Eh it's good, this semester has been really busy and I even got accepted to the tutoring centre here.'

'You deserve it Haley, you deserve it all.' Nathan said quietly just as he spotted Luke coming back through the gym doors. Nathan paced over to him handing him the phone with a stern look.

Lucas looked at him quizzically before placing the phone to his ear. 'Haley…hey…' Lucas said pretending he didn't have a clue she was going to call. Nathan just shook his head at him before he walked away picking up the discarded basketballs on the court.

'Lucas Scott what the hell are you doing I wasn't ready for that….' Haley said holding her heart which was still hammering in her chest at the sound of his voice.

'Will you chill..' Lucas tried to get a word through her rambling.

'no your meddler clearly Brooke is rubbing off on you….god how do you think me ringing you and then putting him on that call is going to help the situation…'

'Because you won't ring him.'

There was finally silence on the other line.

'He misses you terribly Haley.'

'Then why won't he call? Why was I the one who had to say that to him on the phone?'

Lucas glanced up where Nathan was pacing the court now, his hands resting on his thighs no doubt his mind on the girl the other side of this call. He turned around then out of earshot.

'He doesn't want to ruin your happiness Haley he thinks you've finally got what you wanted and you're better off without him…'

'That's not true Luke.'

'I know.' Lucas sighed. 'I've only really got to know him the past few months Haley but I never realised how insecure he actually was.'

'Yea well Dan will do that to a person.' she mumbled sadly.

'He is beating himself up so bad since the accident, since you left…..'

'I tried to fight for him Luke I don't know what you want me to say..'

'I'm not expecting you to say anything just don't give up ok…'

'I can't believe we are having this conversation.'

Lucas smiled. 'I know. you know it's just felt surreal these last few months. I'm kind of getting used to having him around Haley, relying on him even…it's strange..'

'I think that's pretty incredible.' Haley said softly.

'Look I better go. We actually need to be out of here before Whitey locks up.'

'Oh yeah sure I was actually just ringing to say I won't make it home...'

'For all of Christmas?'

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

'Haley if this is about Nate he won't even be there he's going to Cooper's.'

'It's not about that.' He heard her expel a soft sigh across the phone.

'It's your dad.'

'Maybe.' Haley said softly. 'I just can't do it Luke. Not this time.'

He nodded his head as he caught eyes with Nathan across the court, Nathan frowned at the look on his face. 'Okay.'

'You're not mad?'

'I could never be mad I know Christmas was never easy for you I understand, I just I guess I miss my best friend.'

'I miss you too Luke. We have a break in the semester after exams in January how about we do something then..?'

'Sure I'd like that.'

Nathan watched as Lucas turned away from him again before he placed the phone in his gym bag and slung it over his shoulders.

'Do you want to take a road trip?'

Nathan's eyes almost bugged out at his words, he couldn't mean, could he?'

'Haley's not coming back to Tree Hill for Christmas Nate and I'm not waiting until next year to see her.'

XXXXX

Haley finished strumming the last chords of her guitar as the gathering in the bar clapped for her.

'Thanks guys.' She said into the mic before she stepped away. She was busying herself leaning Jake's guitar back against the wall where she took it from when she heard the voice.

'So any chance I could get a drink with the hot musician?'

She felt her heart stop, goosepimples formed all over her, she knew she'd had a restless few nights but she hadn't got to the hallucination stage as much as she'd being dreaming about him. Haley turned to the side her eyes widening in shock at the sight of him. 'Nathan…oh my god…' She barely got the words out watching that crooked smile of his adorn his face as he walked over to her, he held out his hands for her like the very first time they hugged that night in front of the gym when he'd got a very good result in his test.

Haley practically jumped into him then squeezing him tightly. 'I can't believe you're here.'

Nathan smiled as he held onto her. He felt himself letting go but she just hugged him tighter. 'Hales…' He prodded her gently as he pulled back.

Haley squeezed her eyes tight to stop the tears from falling as she pulled back from him.

'Are you ok?' He said softly noticing her watery eyes.

She just nodded not trusting her voice blinking a few times to try and compose herself. 'I just….this…I didn't expect it.' She smiled assuring him it was all she ever needed. Nathan smiled back as he took her in standing there in dark blue jeans, a burgundy lace strap stop and a simple knit cardigan that was fallen down on one shoulder. Her blonde locks were unusually straight and resting on her breasts, much shorter than he remembered and yet she looked even more beautiful than ever.

A slight blush tinted her cheeks as she noticed him checking her out her eyes involuntarily doing the same, Nathan seemed even more grown up all of a sudden, his usually messy raven hair was even messier ad longer than she ever remembered it being, in a pair of beige khaki shorts and a navy polo he screamed college frat boy and she was sure some of the girls she knew would be clawing for him.

'You look ….eh you look really good.' He said almost shyly then.

Haley smiled. She felt herself lost for words, in some ways it felt like they were just two college students meeting in a bar embracing that immediate spark.

But it was so much more than that.

'You know you North Caroline boys are going to be eaten up around here?'

Nathan smiled at the familiar voice as he turned where Jake gave him a big man hug and the two punched fists. 'It's good to see you man.' Nathan aid as they pulled back.

'Come on let's get some beers in.' Jake said.

The three of them went back to the table Lucas had claimed a wide smile on his face as he saw Haley approaching and the two of them embraced in a big hug. Nathan gave Lucas a knowing look as he pointed towards the bar where Jake was headed.

'What I leave you for a few months and you decide to become a Rockstar..' Lucas teased her as they pull away. 'Look at you.' He said.

Haley smiled as she hopped up on the bar stool beside him. 'So Thursday night is like showcase night for any students who want to build up their confidence performing to a crowd, it's pretty relaxed in here…'

'You were brilliant.'

'It's taken me until now to have the guts to do it.'

'Yea but you still did it. Well done Hales.'

'So rearranging our video call?' Haley teased him then.

'It was pretty easy to get it out of you what you were doing I mean we always tell each other meaningless points about our day.' Lucas mused.

Haley chuckled at that. 'I'm pretty sure I told you every detail.'

'I hope you don't mind I know you don't like surprises.'

'This is the best surprise ever.' Haley said honestly as she reached across and gave Lucas' hand a squeeze.

XXXXX

'So that was not how I expected this night to go….' Haley said giggling as she walked on the ledge of the footpath playing a little balance game with herself. She took a sip of the bottle handing it back to Nathan who also took a sip.

'Watch it Hales I'm not dealing with your crying if you fall flat on your ass.'

Haley scoffed before giving him a hard shove. 'Your mean.'

'You already know that.' He teased her.

Haley just rolled her eyes as she looked at him, his eyes at that playful gleam simmering inside of them. It had her heart racing, there was something about this night , the two of them now a pair of college students walking rather tipsy through campus at night, it was the version of them she'd always wished for.

'I can't believe Lucas actually brought Jane tot that bar.'

Nathan chuckled then. 'You know Brooke was at ours before we came here?'

'So they're still playing that whole non-exclusive thing.'

'Right now it's working for them but they literally act like a couple Hales when they're together then Brooke practically begged Lucas to go and get a girl this weekend cause apparently he's not holding up his end of the deal.'

'That's messed up.' Haley said.

'Tell me about it.' Nathan mumbled as he took another swig of the beer. 'What?' He said then as he caught Haley looking at him curiously.

'It's just strange hearing you talk about him so casually…Lucas. It's nice though.'

Nathan didn't really know what to say.

'I was watching you together tonight, something so simple you know just getting drinks for each other, even you sitting together….I really wanted that for both of you, I think it's great that you're both trying to put the past behind you..'

'What about you Hales?' Nathan said softly as they walked along.

'What about me?

'Luke said you're not coming home for Christmas….is it because of your dad?'

'It's not like I would see him.' Haley said. 'And Karen and Keith will be so preoccupied with the pregnancy they won't notice me not there…'

'You know that's not true.'

'I'm just not ready Nathan.' She admitted softly as she paused stepping off the little ledge then turning to face him. 'Not for Christmas.'

The look in her eyes pained him, Haley was the epitome of Christmas in her spirit; joy and liveliness were two words he would say she brought into the lives of people around her. And yet it was also the one holiday that seemed to be darkening every part right now. 'You know it never was my favourite holiday..' Nathan admitted as he fiddled with the now empty beer bottle they'd shared between them. 'But I'd never wish anyone to feel that way…'

The spark in her eyes returned like flecks of gold. 'I've really missed you Nathan.'

'Yea. I missed you two.' He said softly smiling as she intertwined her small hand with his much larger one. 'Come on..'

They passed a number of students in the hallways some hanging out of doors chatting, others doing a lot more than chatting. It really was the epitome o college dorm living. Haley let go of his hand then as she reached inside her purse for her key card sliding it through the door. 'So this is my new home…' She said as they walked inside.

Nathan smiled immediately noting which side was Haley's as he closed the door behind them, delicate golden lights dotted the frame of her bed where a yellow comforter lay, it was all Haley; bright and warm. He glanced across then noting the lavender bedspread 2 metres across from Haley's. 'What's your roommate like?'

'Her name's Millie, she is from Boston and she's really nice..' Haley said as she ducked down and rummaged inside their shared cupboard before she pulled out a bottle of beer and handed it over to him.

'Beer in your bedroom your taking to this college thing well Hales.' Nathan teased her as he took it from her, their fingers sparking at the contact each looking into each other's eyes knowing they'd felt that jolt.

'You can't lie in a dorm and not have beer in your bedroom Nathan…' She teased back.

He smiled at her silliness before she hopped up. 'OH wait and I show you our bathroom.'

'It's a chicks bathroom Hales I'm not really…' Nathan began.

'Oh come on amuse me…' She goaded as she hopped over there and switched on the light.

'You're not going to go getting sick on me again are you?' He teased her as he followed her in.

'No I haven't had that much.' She said with a playful eyeroll. 'Lucas on the other hand..'

'Will die tomorrow.' Nathan filled in knowingly.

'Ow….' Haley flinched a little as her chain caught onto her hair.

'You ok?' Nathan said as he stood in the doorway taking a sip of beer.

'Yea…it's just my hair its caught….' Haley fumbled bending her neck in an awkward way.

'Here…' Nathan walked over leaving the beer bottle to rest on the counter top. He pushed Haley's hair to one side as his hand took hold of her bracelet.

Haley felt her heart rate quicken as his hot breath hit her neck, that coupled with the feeling of his callused fingers briefly touching her skin had her fingers gripping the counter top tight. 'Have you got it?' She didn't recognise her own voice.

He didn't respond and she felt the chain fall away from her neck, Haley watched him in the mirror as he leant over leaving the necklace to rest on the white countertop. Her breath hitched in her throat as their eyes met in the mirror, the playfulness and light-heartedness that seemed to precede them all night was suddenly evaporated and its place was something much more gripping.

Haley swallowed hard as she watched his eyes and the darkened hue that seemed to wash over them as he watched her. she opened her mouth to speak just as his lips so briefly touched her shoulder in a soft kiss, touch so delicate yet the tremors of an earthquake built inside of her. Haley gasped as he moved along her neck his hands now brushing down her bare arms.

It had to be sinful how wet she already was for him, her knuckles white from gripping the counter hard. 'Nathan…' Haley gasped quietly rom his delicate kisses as hands fingered the thin straps of her top his lips leaving a series of butterfly kisses on the her back. 'There's no one else…there's been no one else…' She whispered softly through breathy moans.

Her words had a powerful effect on him - to think there had been no one but him. No one had been with her in that way. It had the desire overpowering every rational part of him, his mind cloudy with the remnants of alcohol and inhibited love for her. In seconds Nathan turned her towards him his lips ravishing her, his actions sporadic and lust driven as he hoisted her up onto the bathroom counter.

His hand was trailing up her inner thigh, he moaned into her mouth could practically feel her hot wet heat before he even touched her. She felt his finger hoovering against her thigh, Haley whimpered with pure need for him as their tongues continued a delicious seductive dance with each other. Robbed of her breath Haley pulled back panting heavily, she glanced at him swallowing hard as she drank in his appearance, his eyes black like the night, beads of sweating clinging to the strands of his heaver hair now. She wondered if it was possible to cum just from the anticipation and desire simmering inside of her. 'Please Nathan….' Haley whimpered as she shifted herself on the countertop. Nathan groaned at her action as he watched her before he met her eyes again, he leaned forward leaving a gentle kiss to her lips as his finger dipped inside running through her wet folds before circling her clit which was already driving her crazy.

'Oh god…Nathan…' Haley panted as he increased the motion of his finger

'I love hear you saying my name like that….' He whispered hotly in her ear only adding to the ever-increasing pleasure soaring inside of her.

'I love how you make me feel…' Haley panted out as he worked his finger harder. 'Fuck….' She gasped as she felt it building tremendously inside of her before screaming out his name again as the rapture consumed her. Haley's body was trembling, her hands latched on around his neck as she lay in his arms quivering from the wake of emotions consuming her. She felt him pull his hand out from under her. Nathan's breathing was just as laboured as he left a gentle kiss behind her ear. 'You okay?' He whispered softly.

'Hmm…' Haley hummed in pleasure.

Nathan smiled as Haley clung to him. He felt her pull back a little then and in seconds her lips claimed his again, one hand still resting on his neck as her other hand trailed down his chest blazing every part of his body, he moaned into her mouth as her hand slipping between his pants and boxers grasping his length, she stroked him so gently and if possible he felt even bigger than before. She'd never touched him like this the first time, Haley found herself biting back moans at just the feel of him in her hand, she was craving how good that cock could make her feel her inhibitions lost to the pleasure flooding her veins.

'God Hales….' The way her name dripped from his lips so hotly had her heart running wild.

'I love you….' The words came out in perfect harmony belying her hazy impassioned mind.

Her words held in the air between them. She could feel him tense up before he pulled back and gently lifted her hand off of him. Nathan closed his eyes, breathing deep trying to calm himself.

Haley's eyes were glistening with tears now. 'I can't let you go Nathan.' She wasn't even sure where the tears had come out of, seconds earlier she was on cloud 9 and now that vacant space in her heart was just screaming. The swift transition from the high to low was almost precarious.

Nathan opened his eyes at her words hating himself for the way she was breaking down now, he had initiated this and he was the very reason she was falling apart once again.

'You need to.' He didn't know how he'd the strength to say those words but maybe it was because he was doing this for her.

'No Nathan don't say that…' Haley fired back.

'It's the truth.'

'You're lying…'

He glanced downwards then.

'Dan is getting inside of your head stop letting him.' Haley said softly as both her hands came to rest on his shoulders then.

'This isn't about him not everything is about that….'

'The whole thing with Lucas is.' Haley fought back. 'Dan told you that didn't he….he said it would always be me and Lucas didn't he? Well he's wrong , I know it and Lucas knows it …..you're the one I'm in love with Nathan….'

'We're only twenty years old Haley…' His words were shaky, she felt him tremble a bit as she held onto him. As he looked into her eyes now she could see he still didn't believe her.

'I've never been surer of anything other than this, it just feels….' She tapered off then as she held his gaze, she could see the confirmation there. He understood it, that connection - it had been there since they were kids.

'Nathan I lied on the phone, this isn't it for me, my roommate she's great because she puts up with me sitting here and singing pathetic songs, I have Jake close by and I rely on him way more than I should, I miss you so much…I've been calling Lucas to hear about you because I wanted to give you space not realising I'd just end up hurting you more cause I did that.'

'That didn't hurt me Haley he is your best friend I never wanted you to lose that.'

'Why can't we be the three musketeers?' She said softly then, her eyes imploring his.

His heart swelled at her words.

They were the 7 words that could rewrite history if they let them.

'Hales…'

'Nothings made me happier than seeing you two together and knowing how close you've become it's all I've ever wanted. The past has no power over us anymore…'

'I love you…'The words had barely left him when she claimed his lips again in a heated kiss.

'I want you…' She murmured against his lips as she bit softly on his bottom lip emitting a low groan from him. Nathan lifted her from the counter then holding her right against him as he walked them back into her room brining her down on her bed with him. Haley rocked her hips above him as her lips left his trailing down his neck, her hands fumbled with the buttons on is shirt as she peeled it off his shoulders, her hair dancing delicately across his broad chest. The sounds coming from them were lascivious, moans and whimpers of desire as their hands roamed each other's bodies peeling clothes away, their lips never leaving the others for a matter of seconds, barely enough time to catch a breath, and with one breathy moan Nathan joined them as he guided Haley down on his cock watching through hooded eyes as her body moved above him his girth filling her entirely before shed lift off and he'd consume her whole again. 'Haley….' Nathan groaned as he watched her matching the rhythm of her movements on him.

'Oh god you feel….so…good…' she moaned out as she leaned forward placing her hands beside his chest meeting him thrust for thrust. He watched the changing emotions on her face the surprise that adorned her features as he grabbed her hips and began to pound into her even harder knocking her chest down against his- he kissed her then swallowing her screams, his thrusts were relentless now and she matched his pace both of them climbing towards that raptured release yet both wishing they could hold on like this for as long as possible.

'Nathan I'm so close…'

'I know baby..' he said as he could feel her clenching around him.

She screamed her release his name falling from her lips in staggered breaths, as she collapsed on his chest she felt his load fill her up, nothing ever felt so good. His chest was moving rapidly beneath her, his forehead was drenched in sweat. Haley lay there breathing heavily.

'Haley…baby….' Nathan said gently then as his hand ran through her locks gently…

She glanced up noticing the concern over his features and gave him a soft smile. 'That was just….'

He nodded and she was sure he blushed a little. 'yea..' he agreed.

Haley moved off him gently both of them feeling the immediately loss of each other as she rested into the side of her bed against the wall snuggling into Nathan as sleep overcame them both.

XXXXX

The sun coated her room in magic dust as her heavy eyes opened from where her head lay against his naked chest. She already knew he was awake from the way his fingers combed through her locks. She just wanted to stay here like this with him, she wished they could always be like this.

'Nathan I don't want to be here anymore.' Haley whispered softly. She never was one for holding back.

He frowned at her words and his hand paused. 'What are you saying?' It pinched her gut, how quick the blissful feeling eroded leaving wretched anxiety in its wake.

She continued still. 'I spoke to the college abut deferring my place here for net semester…I haven't made a decision yet.'

'It sounds like you have.'

His clipped toned surprised her. 'I want to be where you are.'

His hand ran down her back rubbing it soothingly. It helped quell the sinking feeling but it was still there, strange how she simultaneously felt like she was floating and sinking all at once 'I think you should give this a shot Haley.' Nathan began quietly. 'I want you to try and be happy here it sounds like to me you haven't even tried.'

'You don't know that.' She pulled back from him then sitting up as she wrapped the sheet around her naked frame.

Nathan sighed. 'Hales don't get upset.'

'I have tried so hard Nathan, so hard to be more me than ever here but it just doesn't fit.' she fought desperately. 'Even if you weren't in the picture this would never fit, I don't feel at home in my life here.'

She was met with his silence then and she glanced away from him willing herself not to cry. 'Haley'…He began

'You're saying you don't want us to be together.'

'I'm not saying that.'

'You didn't have to.'

'Haley just hear me out…..I think you should try now knowing what you know now….'

'What do you mean?'

Nathan shifted up on the bed then sitting up across form her. 'That we're ok, we can call…it won't be like before.'

'Are we together?'

Nathan glanced down before he met her eyes again. He didn't want to hurt her. He just wasn't ready for that yet. 'I'm not ready for that Haley and I don't think you are either.'

'Dammit Nathan stop making those decisions for me.'

He flinched at her harsh tone. 'I'm just saying give it time.'

'Someday huh?' Haley almost laughed thinking of Jake's song now, little did she know it was also going to be the soundtrack to her life.

His heart broke as he watched her eyes well up. All he'd done was make her cry since he came here. 'Baby don't cry, we will talk all the time -I think we should take it slowly.'

He was guarded, she was sure shed broken through that protective barrier he seemed to have built around him when they slept together but it was right back up in front of her eyes.

'but we won't talk all the time Nathan and you know that, we're drifting….I can feel it.'

'We're not…' he fought her on that thought, he didn't want to believe it although he felt it in his heart that even close together now they actually felt far apart from each other.

'This is all my fault.' She mumbled softly.

'What….' he frowned then as her face crippled with pain. 'Haley…no don't say that.'

'You pushed me away and I left, I didn't fight for you….or….'

'Haley this is not your fault. You didn't leave you just went to college like you would have done had we never happened I wanted that for you, I wanted you to go after your dreams…'

'None of it matters without you….'

He was hearing everything he ever wanted to hear and yet it felt impossible to internalise it, to let it in. He didn't deserve it, someday Haley would realise that. 'I just….' He faltered then not sure how he could say this without upsetting her even more. 'I don't think it's right to need someone that much Haley.'

His words twisted painfully inside of her.

He went to guide her back down towards him then but she pulled back even more. 'We shouldn't of…' She began, the thought of cuddling him now after sex was just too much for her. She'd wished he had never said those 3 words to her last night, given her that hope.

'I do still love you Haley…'

More pain. 'Yea….just too much.' She whispered softly as she pulled herself off him and grabbed her clothes fired at the bottom of her bed.

XXXXX

Haley enveloped Lucas in a big bear hug as Nathan packed the last of their things into the car. Luke pulled back then nodding at Nathan to give the two of them a moment.

Nathan didn't wait for any inclination from her whether he could or not and wrapped his arms around her hugging her tightly. She felt stiff and pulled away from him much too soon and before she could step back from him entirely he left a kiss on her forehead.

Nathan pulled back then still holding onto her hand he tried to find the courage to look in her brown eyes. 'Can I call you?'

Why did he have to ask? Haley glanced downwards pulling her hand away from his. She wanted him to call of course she did but part of her wanted to burn him the way he was burning her right now. She hated that emotion but it was better than feeling completely empty.

Haley just gave him a short nod, this time he leaned in leaving a gentle lingering kiss of her cheek. ''ll ring you when I get home ok.'

His words fell on an empty heart. She wasn't sure she'd even answer anyway.

Ok so the next chapter will be another time jump which will bring us closer to the current time I'm writing and obviously Naley getting back together - this last scene for them has alluded to a few things they as individuals will have to deal with during their time apart and it will change one of them in particular ;) as you'll see next chapter - I will try and get the next update out this week.