Welp, looks like there's gonna be one of these about every ten chapters or so. I like writing these small character studies; I can explore a character's mindset without feeling like I'm going too far off on a tangent because the entire chapter is a tangent! As always, please comment and share the story if you like it! While I don't measure my worth in the number of people that read the story, it does make me feel better to see that number go up!

I'm sorry that your usual chapter was interrupted with this; I don't mean to take any more of your time then I need to. So, to begin, my name is Todoroki Shoto, and I was born on January eleventh. My mother's name is Rei and my father… Well, I don't like my father very much. No one in the family does. He's less of a human with thoughts and emotions and more of a devil who wishes for nothing more than position and power. A story about me is just as much as a story about him. You can't tell the full story of roadkill without at least mentioning a car, but his involvement in my life wasn't that brief; it was everlasting. Every day was a new challenge where he would try to outdo his previous actions. I could talk to you for hours, divulging information about my family and Endeavor. However, to keep things brief I have decided to spend this time and only tell you about every time I have gone to the hospital—it seems fitting for Endeavor, given how many people he sends there. There are only six visits in total, so this should go by quickly enough.
...

Hospital Visit One:

The first thing I did when I was brought into the world was scream. I, of course, do not remember anything from this moment. This entire memory is the result of my parents and the doctors telling me what happened. I apparently screamed my head off at birth, much to the dismay of Endeavor. He didn't care much for his children when they were young, but in many ways he did appreciate the potential they held. I can imagine my small, frail frame being held by Endeavor's large hands. It would almost seem touching if he had any form of care for me or any of his children.

Apparently when he saw my heterochromatic eyes he smiled. Mine was the only birth that he smiled for, according to my mother. I imagine that he thought that he finally succeeded in making a worthy successor for him. A child that had inherited both his fire and my mother's ice. I sometimes wish that I wasn't born split like this. I wish that my half-and-half nature was given to a child after me, and I could be free from the curse of being my Endeavor's 'favorite,' but I realized a while ago that if I wasn't his 'masterpiece' then my mother would have to stay with that man. In many ways I saved my mother from Endeavor; however, I didn't do enough to fully free her.
...

Hospital Visit Two:

My second time in the hospital was five years after the first. The events leading up to it are a blur to me, but I remember the fallout quite well. The scar on my left side still aches from that day. The feeling of the scalding water splashing onto my face and the sensation of my flesh searing are things that are not going to leave my memory anytime soon. I don't blame my mother for what happened. It was clear to me, even back then, that this was the result of Endeavor's doing. I think that on some level he knows it as well.

The tyranny of a devil cannot be broken by the will of man. That idea permeated his household. Even though my siblings were getting old enough to be forging their own lives, the demands and orders from Endeavor still showed that they were shackled to his being. Every time someone in his house tried to break away or deviate from his will, they were always met with either an insurmountable resistance or, if Endeavor was feeling particularly frustrated, a punishment.

Even through my painkiller-induced haze I can still remember with absolute detail what he did to Mother. The shouting. The sound of flesh slapping flesh. However, the silence was the worst part. The oozing silence that permeated the room like a cancer. Endeavor just glared at Rei like a demon figuring out the best method of torture.

Being evil is more advantageous than being good. In order to be good you must follow the rules and give up things you have for the sake of others. This selflessness can provide for those in need and is integral to being a hero. However, being evil involves taking what you want, fighting for what you determine is yours and for what you've decided belongs to you. My parents. My dear mother and… and my father. I consider them to be night and day. In all the years I've known my mother, only once has she not been kind. But if you told anyone that she threw boiling water in her son's face, they would likely brand her as an awful person.

I hate that the world is so quick to judge, so quick to label someone. If you just took a moment to examine the evidence, then it would be clear that she was pushed. Pushed beyond her limits by a man who thought the world should be his. My second visit to the hospital, and one of the oldest memories I have, is why I refuse to acknowledge Endeavor as anything less than a demon.

...

Hospital Visit Three:

By the time I was seven Endeavor had fully planned out my hero career, and that was not even including the extensive training regimen that he put me through. Day after day of constant testing and trials. He had tutors come in to educate me; there was no way in hell that he was going to let me have anything other than the best education. Of course, there was also the fact that most days I had multiple wounds and scars from training. Nothing deep enough to leave a mark, but always present enough to sting and ache.

None of the tutors even considered calling the police or looking into the wounds. Endeavor had them wrapped around his finger and I couldn't convince them otherwise. They kept dismissing my injuries as one-off events, even though they were persistent and frequent. I wished for a form of respite, and I quite often asked to see my mother; however, both Endeavor and the doctors were wary of this, but I made sure to insist that we should try every chance I got. Of course, Endeavor kept me in his house, making sure I had a very short leash. It wasn't until after nearly a week of intense training, mixed with mild dehydration, that I was taken to a hospital again.

I thankfully passed out during a training session and didn't wake up within an hour, so Endeavor finally decided to call the doctors and get me medical help. While I still had the bad memory of my previous visit lingering in my mind, I felt this overwhelming sense of relief when I woke up in the white room without him. There was only my sister, Fuyumi, and my brother, Natsuo. They both looked at me with relief in their eyes when I woke up.

Physical contact under Endeavor's rule was usually reserved for training and punishment. However, there were occasional moments where contact was soft, gentle, and loving. The embrace of my siblings felt warm and welcoming, and for a brief moment, the pains and issues of the world melted away and left me with only the loving bond of true family. It was that moment that I knew I had to see Mom again. I had to tell her that I don't blame her, and that I will fight for everyone's freedom from the blackhearted king.

Of course, I was met with resistance from Endeavor. He didn't want me to ever see Mother again, but thankfully the doctor treating me didn't deny my request outright. Since I was still in the hospital, and thus in a public area, I was able to push the bounds of what Endeavor usually allowed me to do without immediate repercussions. I used this to the fullest I could. Unfortunately, I wasn't privy to the entire discussion between the doctors and Endeavor, but I could see the look of dissatisfaction on his face when he got back into the room.

The doctors informed me that they thought it would be an excellent idea to reintroduce me to my mother. During her therapy sessions she'd talked about making amends with her family. Endeavor outright denied seeing her, but they thought that seeing her children again would be good. The first visit would be done with a police officer right outside the door, ensuring that if anything were to happen, they could step in and stop it.

Within a week I saw my mother. I can remember knocking on her door and her calm, kind voice calling out for me to come inside. She was laying on her bed, looking out the open window. Her hair was lightly moving in the warm breeze. I stepped into the room and sat down on a chair next to her bed. For the first few minutes, she didn't look at me. Her eyes were fixed on a point outside. She was likely avoiding my face so she wouldn't have to see the wound she gave me.

"Mom, I don't blame you for what happened," I remember telling her. I wanted to put my hand on her as a sign of comfort, but I didn't know where to put it. She only responded with a shake of her head.

She then spoke. "No. It was my fault for burning you—"

"No!" I interjected. "It was Endeavor's doing. He pushed you to this. I remember what you said on the phone before I walked into the room." Her face turned white. I ignored it and kept talking. "You were talking about Endeavor, and how you couldn't take it anymore. You burned the left side of my face. The side I share with him. I don't blame you, Mom, why would I?"

She turned her head towards me, tears falling down her face. She almost leapt off the bed to hold me, wrapping her arms around me. I wasn't exactly sure what to do, so I just held her back, lightly patting her back. The room was filled with the sound of her sobs. During the rest of the visit we talked about my injury, her asking questions about if it hurt or not, and me reassuring her it didn't. This was the first time in my life that I felt able to be emotionally open with no consequences. In that small psych ward room I felt more free than I had ever been before.

...

Hospital Visit Four:

It had been several years since I started visiting my mother. My world finally seemed to be starting to grow more hopeful and open. I had been able to look forward to the next week, as I had been visiting her once a week. I'm not entirely sure why Endeavor allowed it, but I wasn't going to complain anytime soon. Part of me even thought that the hardened shell around himself that he had formed was starting to crack and break down. Surely no person could spend that long in a state of constant rage and envy without having some form of burnout eventually.

I was so very wrong about that. All it took was one mistake, one misstep, for that devil's chain to tighten its hold on me. It started on a rainy Saturday, not unlike many days prior. I visited Mother every Saturday, rain or shine. Seeing her smiling face was the only light I needed in my life. She was my soft sunlight in a world lit by nothing but black flames. These flames followed me everywhere. The particular form that the flames tried to take that day was that of a worried father. When I got home from Mother's ward I was greeted with a firm scowl. The owner of said scowl asked why I was so wet. I breathed in and out, informing him that I walked home in the rain. That I wanted to feel it on my skin and let it soak in. He was much less than pleased and so he did the thing it does every time he was less than pleased. He forced me to train.

While it was true that my combat ability had not taken a toll from the rain, what became apparent the next day was that my immune system had taken a hit. I awoke with a high fever and was quickly carted off to the hospital. I was initially surprised to learn that fact. It wasn't in character for Endeavor to forgo the family reputation to send his son to the hospital, but I later learned that it was thanks to my sister that I received the medical attention I likely needed.

When I awoke in the hospital room I didn't see the smiling faces of my siblings. The room was empty and silent. Only the steady beat of the heart monitor was sounding, and in this moment I did feel at peace. There wasn't someone yelling at me, and I didn't have to pretend anything. I could be myself in this blissful isolation. Unfortunately, not soon after I awoke did the door to my room swing open, revealing a doctor and Endeavor behind him. I closed my eyes and leaned back in my bed, thoughts being forcefully pulled back to reality and this cruel world.

"Shoto, I've allowed you to see your mother because they said it would be good for the both of you." Endeavor stated. The doctor didn't see through his words, but I did. He never wanted me to see my mother and he was likely biding his time waiting for an event like this to happen. I could tell by his tone of voice, smug and ready to tear into me. "However, you've shown several times that you are reckless when it comes to visiting her, so I think you should see her less."

That was his plan. He took her away from me all those years ago and he was ready to do it again. Ready to steal her away from my life a second time. Granted, he said that was going to see her less and not 'not at all,' but I could already tell what he had planned. Within a week my fever went down and I was discharged from the hospital, and on my way home Endeavor informed me of his plan. I was going to see Mother once a month, if I did training and kept up my studies. This was especially important as the UA entrance exams were coming up. He wanted me to skip the exam based on his recommendation; he told me that his word would be enough to let me into the school. As much as I didn't want to be seen as someone special I went along with his word. Fighting him rarely added any points in my favor.

On the first day of school I stayed in my dorm room. It felt odd being in a room that wasn't in Endeavor's house, and the bed felt more comfortable than anything I'd encountered before. My frame sank into it and I could feel myself quickly drifting off to sleep. I'd spent most of my life so completely exhausted that I didn't recognize the feeling anymore. I woke up hours later to my stomach grumbling. I turned my head over, facing the empty room. I had only brought clothing and school supplies with me and they were haphazardly thrown on the floor by the desk included with the room. I didn't feel like unpacking yet. Even though I was half an hour away from him I didn't feel like I'd left yet. I would unpack when I felt free, even slightly. Until then my clothing would stay in the suitcase, and my school supplies in my backpack. I would decorate my room with things that I'd gotten in my new life, away from him. I did have posters that I could have brought, but I didn't want any reminders of his house.

When I left my room and went to the kitchen, there were several people sitting in the common room watching a movie together. I looked over their shoulders, and I did recognize the film. It was a classic and one of my favorites; I remember my mom showing it to me when I was younger. I shook my head and went to the fridge. I had also brought some foodstuffs to make my own meals, and so I got to work on that. I will admit that I'm not the best cook, but I am good enough in a pinch. While I was cooking I could overhear the people laughing and talking about the film; their cries of joy filled the room. Maybe I should talk to them, I thought to myself. Make a friend and not be so alone. I wanted to talk to them. I wanted to walk over and introduce myself, but I didn't. It felt like I couldn't. I could see the imposing figure of Endeavor standing behind me watching my every move. Judging each and every action I took, punishing me for ones that weren't to his exact liking. I didn't know if he would approve of my friends or not, and I already knew that if I stepped over the bounds he set I would deeply regret it.

...

Hospital Visit Five:

The Unseen Simulation Joint attack could have gone much worse than it did. While I didn't sustain any real injuries, I still sat in the back of an ambulance wearing a heated blanket. While I wasn't formally going to the hospital, this was still closer than I usually got to it. I had overused my ice and only used my fire once. Under normal circumstances I would never use the left side of my body; however, I need to use it during training, and if there is any situation where its usage would be frowned upon by Endeavor, I would happily use it. While I sat in the ambulance I felt happy, since I had saved All Might using Endeavor's fire. I could imagine the look on his face if I had done it in front of him, a mix of unwanted happiness and seething rage. Even though I was cold, I could feel the blood rushing through my system. Defying Endeavor had given me a new sensation that I hadn't felt before, but I knew I wanted to feel more of.

It didn't take me too long to warm up. The nurses gave me one last check-over before letting me go. I got on the bus and headed back to the dorm with the rest of my class—minus the electric girl, who needed to be carted off to the hospital. When I got back to the dorm I took out my phone and saw a long list of messages awaiting me. Apparently, over the course of twenty minutes, Endeavor called me three times and sent twenty-five messages. I didn't want to respond to any of them. I wanted to put my phone in one of the drawers on my desk and completely forget about it. Endeavor can rot for all I care about him. I know he wasn't worried about me; he never was. He was likely just calling to make sure his 'masterpiece' was alright.

However, I did have to answer the phone at some point. Another five minutes passed and there were another five messages and one call. I held back my nerves and called Endeavor.

"Shoto! Good, I was wondering how long you would take to answer." Endeavor's voice filled my ear almost immediately. It seems he was glued to his phone waiting for a response. "What took you so long to reply?"

"The school wanted to talk to us about a few things and make sure we were all alright." I didn't want to have this conversation, but he was being nice enough, so I decided to play along.

"Good. I take it you were uninjured?" His voice sounded cold and inquisitive. Not like a concerned father asking if their son was alright, but more like a scientist asking if their subject was alive.

"Yes. I did have some temperature disparity, but that was fixed after a few minutes."

"Good. I can understand that overheating can be a problem, but that is why I gave you ice." I clenched my fist at his remark. He didn't give me anything. Anything good he had given me had been outweighed by all of the rotten things that he had done to me.

"It was a desperate situation. I did what I could; it slipped my mind," I replied. I was used to keeping a calm demeanor while talking to him.

"You need more discipline. We're going to train tonight. I will pick you up at four."

Even though I was out of his house, like all of his other children, his chain was tightly tied around my neck. Saying no to training wasn't an option; it never was. I could be sick or dying and that wouldn't be a valid excuse.

It wasn't until a little while after the USJ that I met Midoriya. He did something that I didn't think was possible. He saw through my guise and spoke to me about it. I don't think he knew the full truth, but he still offered his hand to help. That is the type of hero that I want to be, one that can see those in need and immediately offer my hand to them. Midoriya is a perfect example of a good hero, one that will surely be better than Endeavor in almost every way. Even with my brief encounter with him I found it odd that Midoriya never applied to UA. I'm left wondering what his quirk is, as well as his intentions in life. If he's going to Mirai High then he is obviously smart; I've overheard my siblings talk about it, and my brother went there for high school as well. No matter how much I ponder, I will not learn the truth about Midoriya without asking about it and that is something that I do not feel comfortable doing. I would definitely feel like I'm overstepping a boundary, and so I will only ask into his personal goals if I know he is comfortable talking about it or he brings it up himself.

...

Hospital Visit Six:

I don't want to talk about this hospital visit. Seeing Endeavor after the Nomu attack is something that I don't want to dwell on. So instead I will talk about something else. The Grandmaster is someone I have been thinking about for a while now. I've always been interested in vigilantes. The idea of someone working outside of the law because they feel that law is not an applicable container for them is admirable. It is a kind of reversal of the situation that Endeavor is in. While he does whatever he wants within the law, The Grandmaster is working hard outside of the law to stay within the bounds of his own morality. I do also find his chosen purpose interesting. Up until I heard of The Grandmaster's antics I'd truthfully never thought of quirkless people.

Even though I view having a quirk as a burden, since it has allowed Endeavor's grip on me to tighten, the idea of just not having a quirk hasn't crossed my mind. It seems like this world was made to make people suffer. No matter their age, sex, or quirk (or lack thereof) the world will take and take and take and take and take and take and take…

Even though The Grandmaster has only made a handful of appearances I agree with their message and wish I had the ability to support them in a large capacity. I believe they are a pure soul—one that, like me, sees the wrongs in society and wishes to fix them one misdemeanor at a time. Maybe the next time I see Midoriya I'll talk to him about The Grandmaster, just to talk about something.

Provided I do actually get to talk to anyone during the sports festival. So far the entire time my Endeavor has been talking to me, 'coaching' me through things. Giving me advice (demands) and reminding me of incentives (punishments) if I do not perform to his standards. Never was this more apparent than after the first event. After it ended he pulled me aside.

"Shoto, I believe you can do better than third place. I raised you better than third place. I raised you for the top." Endeavor's disappointment was oozing from his being. We were talking in one of the deeper hallways of the stadium, away from everyone else. I was leaning against a wall with my arms crossed.

"I'm sorry, Father." I didn't make eye contact with him. There were times where he wanted it and days where he did not, so I took my chances.

"I don't want you to be sorry, Shoto. I want you to give me the results I know you are capable of. Since I have been the one watching you and helping you train all these years, I know I can turn you into something perfect." Endeavor went to cross his arm, but it looked more like he was putting his hand on his chest, and he had a fierce scowl on his face. "So for the second event you need to come in first."

I nod my head. "Yes, Father. Understood." I got up from the wall and started to walk away before I felt a large hand squeeze my shoulder.

"Listen to me, boy. If you don't come in first place—if even a single person comes ahead of you—I am barring you from seeing your mother for the next few months. Maybe more depending on how badly you perform."

I thought I was already broken, that my soul and heart were already bent and twisted beyond repair. However, upon hearing those words I realized how wrong I was because I could feel something in me crack. The idea of Endeavor preventing me from seeing Mother was something that I had given some thought to, but not a lot of thought. I didn't want it to happen, and I refused the idea of it happening, after all.

I knew that the moment I had no more leverage for seeing my mother I would be unable to ever see her again. That door in my life would close and lock. Endeavor would cause her to be taken from me again. I cannot allow that to happen. I am still upset about the first time and I refuse. I will win the second event at any cost, I thought to myself.

...

That should bring you up to speed about Shoto's story and life. The events that led up to his explosion from the last chapter should now be clear as crystal. Shoto has always been a time bomb waiting to detonate, so now the only thing left to do is watch the explosion—at a safe distance, of course.