AN: First of: Thank you all so much for adding this story to one of your favorites or put it on your story alerts! And those reviews: Oh wow :-) I simply can't thank you enough for your feedback - it means a lot that you like this story and my writing, it keeps me highly motivated and inspired to continue!

Have fun with reading more about Jay's and Rianne's morning after!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Chicago PD, Fire or Med characters, only my OCs!

Rianne hadn't intended to fall asleep in Jay's bed.

But once they had both calmed down and talked about everything that was on Jay's mind that night, they had snuggled up against one another. She'd been running her fingers through Jay's soft hair, his face pressed tightly in to the crook of her neck, until his breathing had become deeper and even. His body twitched a few times as if he was fighting sleep, but finally his strong grip on her had loosened and she knew he was a goner. Rianne's own eyelids had felt like stones, she wasn't able to hold up any longer. Her whole body had been so heavy, she couldn't lift a single finger. All that craziness and unexpected turn of events had worn her out.

He was in so much pain, it went right through her too. When Jay told her what happened to Marcus West and his involvement with how it had all turned out for that innocent man, her heart felt that weight he would carry around with him. From now on for the rest of his life! This was not something one could just wipe away and be done with. Not a jacket he could shrug out of and toss aside. Jay was cursing himself for having been too quick to judge, too quick to take drastic action because he wanted justice for those poor boys so bad. The image of two innocent children being killed in cold blood while just playing a game of playstation imprinted before his eyes, she could understand how that must have been for him. Too many times she'd been tempted to not do things by the books, because far too often children, too young or too weak to fend for themselves, were victims of grown-ups that should just get their shit together.

In a way Rianne was angry at herself that she hadn't turned away from this fast enough. By not asking Jay that many personal questions until now she had tried to keep him at arms-length. She had no problem sharing stories about her life, her past. Letting him near her sexually wasn't the problem either. But she knew the more she learned about him, what kind of a person he was, the deeper she cared, the deeper her feelings for him would grow. He should have stayed a riddle to her, a bit of a stranger. This night had not at all gone according to plan, if there ever had been one. He was getting under her skin, deep. And she was afraid that she would not be able to walk away so easily without hurting herself.

The next thing she knew, bright daylight was falling through the windows in Jay's bedroom. It was simple she recognized now, not really much of decorations, but comfortable, functional. And very tidy. She'd noticed that of the other rooms she'd seen yesterday in passing as well. They were all kinds of spotless. Maybe that was an army thing or he had a cleaning lady.

Frightened, because she didn't want this to be awkward, she jolted upright, searching for an alarm clock or her phone, to get the time. But she couldn't, being hauled into Jay's arms like she was.

While her mind was racing, contemplating how she should play this and cover up her accidental sleepover, she had carefully made it halfway out of the bed, when Jay's arm shot out from behind her again und pulled her back in.

She couldn't flinch away, because he held her down pretty tight and began nuzzling her neck with his nose. Rianne just closed her eyes shut and inwardly grimaced. How stupid of her, this was bad! Maybe Jay was still sleeping and had grabbed her unconsciously, so that she could still make her silent get-away and act as if nothing happened, but no such luck.

The moment she tried to gently pry his arm from her, still keeping her eyes shut, as if that would help in any way, she heard Jay chuckle softly and nudge her butt with his knee: "Did you just try to do a runner on me?"

"Maybe..." she winced; kind of embarrassed she got caught and still nervous because she couldn't guess what time it was. Maybe she was already late for work.

"Don't sweat it, I won't tell anyone. And it doesn't mean we have to get married now."
He still laughed sleepily then abruptly stopped, probably realizing her stiffen in his arms.

Rianne took a deep breath. A certain amount of intimacy like this still got her agitated and ready to run for the hills. Right now though she told herself to stop being such a pussy about this. She could sleep over at his place, she was a grown woman, they'd had sex before and things hadn't gotten awkward. Jay had been in a bad state yesterday so it would not have been very human and caring to just walk out on him in the middle of the night, not sure if he would be okay in the morning.

Rianne dared herself to turn around in his arms and look at him. Big mistake! Looking at his sleepy face with pillow lines on his cheeks and the best bedhead she'd seen in a long time, she was instantly filled with tenderness and couldn't resist running her fingers over his light stubble.

"Are you feeling better?"

"You tell me: Did we sleep through he night?"
Jay brushed one of her curls behind her ear and then rubbed some sleep from his eyes.

"You fell asleep and then I did too and I did not wake up once during the night. I don't know about you."

"Then I think I must be feeling better. I can't remember to have been up after crying all over you," he said it with a sad smile, failing at making light of the situation.
For a minute they were both quiet, checking out and trying to read in the other's face. What did last night change for them? She had to admit that she'd slept pretty well, even if this was a foreign bed, and a man she had never shared a duvet with. Normally she needed her own bedcover to get comfortable, but it seemed that Jay and her had slept so close that one was more than enough.

"Seriously though: I guess Voight is right: You have to let it be, Jay. Or this will eat you alive."
Rianne finally stated, somehow professional about this.

"Yeah, I know… but I guess I can't right away."
Jay was playing with the bracelets on her right wrist, not looking at her. When she reached out to run her finger along his brows he managed to meet her gaze:
"I will be fine though, you know?" This was his attempt to reassure her.

She tried to estimate if he was lying to her. But she couldn't see anything beyond remorse, shame and still a lot of guilt in his face.

Suddenly she got herself distracted, because a little voice inside her head and some inner nervousness told her that she was forgetting something important. Then it hit her, she grabbed Jays upper arm in shock:
"Shit, what day is it?"

"Like Friday? Why?" Jay looked at her, confused at her sudden panic.

"Fuck, I am supposed to meet Stella at Lake Michigan at seven."

Jay turned and took a look at his cell phone that he somehow had been organized enough to put on his nightstand.
"It's like 6.20!"

"Shit, shit, shit!"
Rianne jumped out of the bed, realizing she hadn't much time to spare if she didn't want to be too late. From where Jay lived to the meeting point with Stella she needed a good 15-20 minutes if traffic wasn't so bad. She knew off hand because Sylvie Brett lived in this area too and she had been to visit her place a few times.

"You wouldn't happen to be so nice as to lend me some back-up clothes? Because if I fall in to the water today I have nothing respectable to go to work in after."

"What the hell are you doing at Lake Michigan at the crack of dawn nonetheless?"
Jay went to get out of bed too, looking at her like she was a bit crazy though.

"Stand-Up-Paddle Yoga!"
She did say that with full confidence as if everybody was doing it.

"What?"
Jay couldn't help but shake with real laughter, clutching his naked stomach.

"What!?"
Rianne scowled at him and was a bit offended, because he couldn't stop shaking with giggles for a whole while.
"We're doing this every Friday morning, if Stella isn't on shift and I can clear my morning at work. It's clearing, relaxing and … refreshing if you're not well-balanced and fall off your board."

"It's just…" Jay tried to compose himself and walked to her, hands held high in defense:

"I always ask myself who these people are that are into such a thing every time I happen to see them on the lake. Now I know… figures…"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Just… of all of the bias I had about you: this fits. But it's okay, everyone has their little spleen I think…," he was still chuckling mildly.
And even if she found she loved his goofy laugh and that he could forget his troubles for a moment and found her hobby so amusing, she shoved him a bit calling him out:
"Jerk! I bet your idea of relaxing is running around a golf course or something bourgeois like that!"

Of course they found her something to wear. Jay provided one of his long sleeves in addition to a shirt and some of his boxers, because his sport shorts were a little too big for her. Rianne looked really cute in his clothes, the shirts way too long, but she could pull it off, tying a knot into the front. Even in more plain clothes than her usual style, she looked special to him.

Jay couldn't help but pull her close and wrap her into his arms, not caring if she found this was too intimate and cuddly. He was thankful for her staying the night and not leaving in the middle of his breakdown and that she would still let him touch her.

"Thanks for putting up with me! It was not my brightest moment…" he murmured into her hair.
Jay was upset with himself for hurting her and not keeping it together. The fact that he was still guilty of putting away the wrong man and getting him killed didn't miraculously go away either as of this morning.

"It's okay, really. You just owe me one major orgasm I think!" She quickly pecked his cheek and then escaped his embrace, gathered her things and headed for the door.

Letting her leave this way wasn't an option Jay's gut quickly decided, so he caught up with her halfway again and held her back. This woman really brought it out in him, getting physical all the time. He normally was more distanced and not so handsy on impulse.

Maybe he was being paranoid and her making light of the situation and a quick exit was owed to her being late for her yoga lesson and a try to cheer him up; not add to the weight of last night still hanging in the air. But he began to catch on to her patterns and tells. To him it felt like she was slipping away. His clothes on her were not a good enough insurance that she'd be back.

Having her back pressed against his naked chest, one arm slung around her waist and his other arm around her shoulders, he breathed her in and thought he could hear her heart beating just as fast as his was.
Jay didn't like to be the one to define this, but somehow he felt it was time he made his intentions clearer. Or at least clear that he didn't want this to end. Fear of having scared her away with his breakdown last night was creeping in.

"Rianne?"

"Yeah?"
She froze in his embrace, like an animal caught in a trap, obviously not knowing wether she could and should flee. It somehow pained him to feel she was afraid of what he might say.

"If we continue doing this, don't try to disappear on me?"
When she didn't reply right away he continued:
"Or would you rather like to just fuck and then one of us leaves, because this is just sex? I think I need to know that much."

"I don't know. Is it? Isn't it? We haven't put a label on it and we don't have to. I don't want to assume anything…Wouldn't you have left if we'd stayed at my place yesterday?"

"I would have stayed if you'd let me... because I think this is obviously more than just a one-night-stand. I am not counting, but I don't want it to end… No pressure, but if you want to keep avoiding sleepovers just tell me, because it kinda makes me feel cheap. And if you want out you have to say so!"

Hailey hadn't heard from Jay for the rest of the night, which was not surprising.
Nonetheless she knew he took the events surrounding their latest case pretty hard and she was worried. So she'd decided to pick him up for work in the morning, maybe talk a bit on their way to the station.

She'd grabbed two strong espresso's on her way over to Wicker Park and was just about to get out of her car, when she saw someone hurry from his house:
Female, approximately in her 30's. Hailey took a closer look and saw Jay leaning out of his window on the third floor, no shirt, waving her off before closing the window again. The woman had her hair up in a messy bun, a scarf wrapped around her head. Hailey knew exactly who that was and didn't know how she felt about it. Yes, she had told Jay to give her a chance and to make up his mind what he wanted to have with her. But then the subject hadn't come up anymore in the meantime. That night at Molly's last weekend she had guessed that they had developed something but hadn't asked any questions about it.
Rianne was no Camila, this was for sure. But maybe she was an Erin. Someone who would disappear on him after she had made him fall in love with her. And although Hailey sort of liked the other woman, she always felt so protective of Jay. She didn't want to see him and his big heart get hurt over and over again. Hailey had put a hell of a lot of time, comforting and effort into the well-being of this man, she was not going to sit idly by and watch it all go to waste over a female yet again. Only problem was that she didn't know how she could keep it from happening.

Hailey waited a good ten minutes before she called her partner to say she was waiting for him downstairs.

"Oh wow, is someone doing the walk of shame this morning?"
Stella whispered when Rianne tried to sneak into the already ongoing yoga session on the lake without raising too much attention to her. This was a little hard to achieve, when she still had to climb on her board in the water and everybody else already was meditating on theirs.

"No - why?"
Rianne whispered back at her friend while trying to check what pose they currently were at.

"Don't try to fool me. You're never late to this session and you're definitely wearing a men's shirt and… are these boxers underneath?"

"Yeah, alright fine - I accidentally spent the night at Jay's and I was late for our meeting, so I didn't have time to get my usual outfit from home. And I need my yesterday clothes to go in to the office after, dry and presentable! Why are you smiling like that?"
"No reason, you just look so different…"

Their conversation was cut short due to scolding glances from the other participants of the class.
Stella was barely keeping her concentration because of the big fat smile on her face and the urge to grill Rianne about details of that first "sleepover" right now.

To her disappointment there wasn't any time to talk afterwards, because Rianne had a work related meeting she had to get to. Stella wasn't if her girl was okay. Normally she would have made a comment on how her night had been, but she kept very tight-lipped about that.

With Rianne that could mean everything and nothing. Stella would leave her to mull it over on her own and come to her to talk when she felt like it. Some people had the tendency to handle her with extra care, but Stella knew Rianne was a strong woman and not just the victim of a tragedy. Maybe she could relate to that so much because of her own history of tragic life experiences. It was possible not to break underneath it all and come out stronger on the other side, every time.

Jay's phone chirped with a new message once Hailey and him had arrived at the station a little after 8.
He told Hailey to go ahead so that he had some privacy to look at the text or whatever it was. Up in the bullpen there were really too many nosy and gossipy co-workers present.

Rianne had sent a picture, a selfie of her still in his clothes, seemingly all dry, even her hair looked the same.

"Almost got your stuff wet, but I managed to get myself balanced out. Actually thinking of going to work this way - Jay Halstead serious style…"

She had attached a second picture, mimicking an exaggerated facial expression like she supposedly had seen on him. He had to laugh at that one.

"I think I accidentally gave you one of my favorite shirts. So I am gonna need this back."

"No way, I am keeping it for now ! It's comfy."

He had to admit he liked the idea of his clothes on her, he didn't even know why exactly. Jay could see that she was typing and stopping and typing again. He wondered what could take so long to say, but when he finally got the message his heart did a little somersault. It was like the clouds in his head were pushed away momentarily to let a little light shine through:

"Sorry I was too chicken to say something this morning, so here goes: The last thing I want is for you to feel cheap, because you are anything but! So I am gonna try to get over my shit. For now I can safely say: I don't want out! I have to admit though: It's scary and freaking intense…"

After he'd put his feelings out in the open in the apartment that morning, Rianne had just nodded and kissed him passionately, not really answering any of his questions, leaving him confused. So her breaching the subject again counted for something:

"I'm glad you feel that way. You scare me shitless too! Talk soon, have to get my ass into work now."

"Cut yourself some slack guapo! Maybe you should have taken the day off!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that, I need to keep busy…"

"I know! Take care of yourself anyway please! 😚 !"

Again Rianne felt like a freaking teenager, having pressed sent to all those words and that kiss-emoji that she feared would get her into trouble.
Que estúpido! He'd been brave enough to let her see into some really dark parts of his soul and she was suddenly afraid to admit she didn't wanna quit, although things were getting a little more complicated and closer than before. Who was she kidding? Things had never been "uncomplicated" concerning their history, their connection through friends and work and their respective pasts.

However, it was different than before last night.

She'd contemplated telling Stella about what had happened yesterday, but in the end decided against it.

Suddenly there was this dimension that was only between her and Jay. Where no one was allowed and no one got a say. What they had shared was private and telling anyone about it felt like she was betraying his trust. So Rianne wouldn't and felt confident that she could carry this with him on her own, if he wanted her to.