27

Scars of War

As the flood of adrenaline tapers off in Jonathan's veins, he begins to feel on setting nausea.

"Saren," says Kirk. "You have the con."

"Aye, sir," responds Saren.

Jonathan scurries of the bridge and into the turbolift and with an understated stride

he makes his way to his quarters. By the time the doors close behind him he nearly collapses to his knees from exhaustion.

On the bridge, Marina senses something is wrong. She waits for a few minutes before excusing herself from her post makes her way to his quarters.

=/\=

Marina chimes Jonathan's quarters. She waits a moment, but there is no response. She becomes anxious and rings the chime several times.

"Enter," angrily barks Kirk, in a disturbingly low voice.

Marina enters. "Sir."

Jonathan is despondent.

"Sir!" says Riker more forcefully.

"What!" yells Kirk.

His tone hurts her, and seeing her hurt induces an eye roll at his own disgust. Jonathan sits down in an empty chair and rubs his forehead.

"I'm sorry, Marina," says Kirk, remorsefully, gesturing to an open seat. "Please, sit down."

"Thank you, sir." says Riker.

"How can I help?"

"Are you alright?" asks Riker.

Jonathan's hands tremble.

"Doesn't look like it," says Kirk examining his hands.

"How long has this been happening to you?! I need you to go to Med Bay right now,"

"Absolutely not," angrily replies Kirk in disgust.

"Then what Jonathan?" yells back Marina. "I can have you relieved!"

Jonathan is taken aback by her outburst.

"Never took you for the pushy type, lieutenant," remarks Kirk.

"Sorry, sir, but I have my moments, sir." replies Riker.

"We all do," sighs Kirk.

"What would you me like to do sir?" asks Marina.

Jonathan lies down supine at his window seat. "Just stay with me for a while," he says, as he turns his attention to the starry space outside.

When he closes his eyes, all goes dark.

=/\=

The door chime wakes Jonathan. He looks below his waist to see that Marina is gone. The door chimes again. Jonathan quickly stands up and straightens out his uniform.

"Come in," says Kirk.

Genevieve walks in.

"Commander," regards Kirk.

"No Jonathan, its Genevieve. Spock has the con, I'm off duty and so are you. So shut up, sit down and drop rank," bluntly states Picard.

"Wow," exclaims Kirk. "Decorum is just going out the hatch window nowadays."

"Sir," adds Picard. "Better?" she asks.

"Not really," sighs Kirk.

"Feeling better?"

"Not really," muses Kirk.

"What's wrong?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I'm required too."

Jonathan walks over to his secluded bar.

"Are you going to relieve me of command because you think I am unfit to command?" asks Kirk. "So?"

Genevieve stands up and intercepts Jonathan's hand reaching for a drinking glass.

"No," states Picard.

Jonathan freezes for a moment.

"And no," adds Picard.

Jonathan smirks.

"Good." Kirk returns to his seat.

Genevieve sits down in a facing seat.

"What's wrong?" she asks with worry on her face.

"I got scared, Genevieve," replies Kirk, and then turns away from her in disgust. "Captain Jonathan T. Kirk got scared. Maybe everybody's right; I'm just out of my league out here."

"What are you talking about?" she exclaims. "You – were – amazing!"

Genevieve moves closer to Jonathan.

"Raising shields at the right moment – the Picard maneuver – you are a natural born captain."

"You mean it's in the blood," snickers Kirk. "Unfortunately, there seems to be something else in my blood."

"Don't do this to yourself,"

"What exactly is that?"

"Take a measurement of yourself every time you do something. What you did back there..." states Picard. "I don't know if I could – ."

"No, Genevieve, don't do that to yourself." Interjects Kirk. "I saw how you handled the Enterprise at 3-1-0. Your father would be very proud of you," Kirk states. "Can't say my great uncle would have the same assessment of me."

"Yes, he would too," says Picard "But…"

Kirk frowns. "But?" annoyed with the coming inference.

"He wouldn't have given you any credit if he'd been on the bridge of Enterprise."

Jonathan and Genevieve share a chuckle at the sentiment.

Genevieve scans Jonathan's face and she notices color has returned to it.

"You looking better."

"I'm feeling better and actually, I'm very hungry."

"Good," says Picard.

"How about lunch?" asks Kirk.

"Sorry I'm not hungry," Genevieve stands up. "I think Alexander is. I noticed he paces around the hungrier he gets. I'll have him accompany you to the mess hall," she suggests. "I have to get back to the bridge."

"I thought you are off duty!" exclaims Kirk.

"I lied," replies Picard softly.

"Ohh, hohh, hoh," scoffs Kirk. "You're really are something else."

Then a thought dawns on Jonathan.

"You wanted to be on duty," concludes Kirk. "You were keeping an extra edge just in case you really did have to relieve me."

A devious smile forms across her face.

For a moment Jonathan's expression hardens, but then turns to a confident smile. "Carry on, Commander Picard."

Genevieve makes her way to the exit, but stops mid stride and turns back, something is on her mind. She gently comes to Jonathan and looks into his eyes. "I need to know something. When the Fibonacci lost power, you knew we couldn't escape to the surface," she states. "Would you have really left us?"

For a moment Jonathan turns to stone.

"Jonathan?"

Hearing his name breathes life back into his body, but the question lingers in the air.

"I don't know," he replies.

Genevieve scans his face. "Yes, you would have," she deduces, then turning her back to him.

Jonathan feels her emotionally slipping away from him as Genevieve begins to makes her way to the exit.

"I love you!"

Genevieve stops but keeps her back to him.

"You already have a lady in your life, Captain," she states, looking above herself, outing the lady in question called Enterprise. "And – she – comes first."

Genevieve resumes her way to the exit when Jonathan intercepts her before the doors part.

"Genevieve," he says loudly.

She turns to face him.

Jonathan takes her by the shoulder and stares deep into her eyes. "I meant what I said, Genevieve."

Genevieve pauses for a moment then places her hands on his chest. "I know, Jonathan." she says, with a soft voice. "That's why you comfort me with a lie, instead of hurting me with the truth."

Jonathan's hands crash down to his sides and Genevieve passes through the doors, leaving behind the heartbreak.