In The Mind's Eye
Disclaimer: This is an AU story that combines The Godfather and Greys Anatomy together. I borrowed these characters, I own nothing.
Chapter Nineteen
Second Opinion
Waving goodbye to her parents, Arizona crossed the large grassy lot in search of the one person who had all the answers. Carmela. Sure, Arizona had told her parents that she was choosing to stay with her wife. And, she was. She just needed a clearer understanding of what her future with Callie would look like. She loved her wife. She made a vow. But, Arizona still needed advice from someone who was in the same position as her.
Facts. The first step in analyzing is to get the facts. Facts by themselves only tell us what is; they do not tell us what ought to be. Receiving the facts, unresolved ethical issues also has an appeal to values. The information Arizona had learned from Callie certainly went against her code of ethics. Most definitely defying the blonde's appeal to values. Callie had given her the facts. Some by outright admission. Some, by omission. After all of that, Arizona needed a second opinion. She knew that sometimes in medicine it is invaluable to get another point of view and this particular situation warranted one also.
Stepping into her mother in laws kitchen, the sweet aroma of freshly baked cinnamon rolls filled the air.
"Arizona, your parents are gone?" Carmela asked. In one way she was relieved the Robbins were leaving today. Now, Carmela appreciated Barbara's treatment of her daughter. The Colonel however, she didn't care too much for. Knowing that Arizona would miss her parents made Carmela feel for her daughter in law. She longed for them all to have a better relationship. After all, a baby was on the way.
"Yes. They left a couple of minutes ago." Arizona answered.
"Come. Sit. I will get you a cinnamon roll. My grandchild really wants one." Laughing as she turned around to fix a plate, Carmela knew her cinnamon rolls were famously reviewed. And she knew that not only did the baby want one, but its mommy did too.
"Wait. Before you eat that, did you check your blood sugar?" Carmela was very protective of Arizona's health as was Callie. The older woman would even cook special meals that were diabetic approved, just for her daughter in law.
"I did." Arizona answered. She knew she really should eat the delicious dessert, but no one could ever resist Carmela famous cinnamon rolls.
As they both ate, Arizona asked, "Is Papa around?" She wanted to have this conversation alone with Carmela.
"No. He had to go to a meeting. He will be back in an hour or so." The older woman answered.
"Good. I want to talk to you. I..." Not knowing how to begin this spill, Arizona paused for a brief moment. Gathering her thoughts in order to perfect her next lines.
"I have some questions and I believe you can answer them for me."
"What kind of questions?" Furrowing her brow, Carmela was concerned. By the obvious look of distress on the blonde's face, of course the older woman would be concerned.
"About Callie's business affairs." Short explanations are usually best to start with. Diving into a long speech at the beginning would scare away the knowledge that Carmela would possibly divulge.
"Maybe you should talk to Callie." The older woman suggested. Carmela made it her business to stay out of these matters. She certainly had no intention of speaking to Arizona about them either.
"I have. I've learned a lot of things." Arizona admitted.
"Oh? What kinds of things?"
"Carmela I know about the loan sharking, the money laundering, Junior Brazini...things of that nature. "
Raising her head, Carmela drew in a deep breath. No. This was not good. Her husband would be very angry with this. Sure, Carmela had knowledge of some things. She even had knowledge of worse activities that her husband and daughter were involved with. She was not blind. Just as her daughter in law, Carmela had paid careful attention to detail. Details that were secret. Secrets that was deadly.
"I'm not sure what you want me to say Arizona." Carmela said as she looked at Arizona. She loved Callie's wife, but this time Arizona was overstepping the bounds.
"I want to know the truth. I need to know everything. How do you deal with this?" Arizona spoke frankly. She needed to know how to cope with these unethical issues arising in her marriage.
Meanwhile, Callie had her hands occupied with Paulie downtown.
"So, what's on the books for today?" Paulie asked Callie and Clemenza. As they sit in Callie's office, silence fills the room. Paulie had become a traitor to the Family. Having been a valuable employee to the Torres Family for several years now, Paulie was a driver and a button man for the Family.
"I need you, Clemenza, and Rocco to go the West Side. Pick out an apartment there. Something out of the way. We need a meeting place for when we try and come up with a plan to take out the heads of the Five Families. I don't want to meet in the same place every time. You never know if it's bugged." Callie spoke calmly.
She would just love to put a bullet in his head herself, but the head of the Family usually allowed their capos to take care of those matters. Of course, this was all just a ruse. A sham. There was no need for a meeting place out of the way. Callie had quite a few of those already. This was just a way to lure the younger soldato, (soldier) to his death. This was payback for what had been done to Arizona.
An hour later...
After checking out three apartments, the trio headed back to Long Island. Taking a road less traveled, they stopped as Clemenza needed to make a phone call outside of the car.
"Poor reception in these parts," Clemenza said as he exited the vehicle. The necessary stop was blamed on the unexplainable lack of cell phone service in the area. Stepping in front of the car, the next sound heard was familiar to the older Caporegime.
Hearing three shots fired, Clemenza turned back in the direction of the black sedan that he just stepped from. Rocco walked up to meet him, having removed himself from behind Paulie's seat.
"Leave the gun." Clemenza ordered Rocco.
This was a great unspoken lesson to Rocco on what happens when you betray your trust to the Family. Leaving Paulie in the car also sent a clear message to the Brazinis. This is the price you pay for the crimes you commit against the Torres Family.
Walking to the car that had just pulled up next to them, they entered the black Mercedes with practiced ease. Leaving the scene, Rocco turned around to look through the glass window. This was his first murder. Listening to Clemenza and another member of the Family in the front seat, he turned back around. This one sole act, showed his allegiance to the Torres.
The conversation between Arizona and Carmela had so far proven to be a stalemate. As the time passed by, not much of anything was revealed. The older woman wouldn't answer any of Arizona's questions. After all, she had been in this family a long time. She didn't get involved in her husband's affairs. And she didn't think Arizona should either. Apparently, her daughter in law already knew too much and that was not a good.
"Arizona. I understand you wanting to know the truth. The truth is very important. It is the bedrock for marriage. I must warn you that knowing too much is not a good idea."
"I asked Callie if she had Junior Brazini murdered. She didn't confirm it. But she in the next breath wouldn't deny it either."
"Arizona, I have no knowledge of that. And you shouldn't either. There are things in this business that you and I should not know. Things that...my God Arizona, I shutter to think about the consequences of knowing."
Carmela Torres wasn't afraid of the truth. She just was in a habit of looking the other way. For years she chose to turn a blind eye to her husband's business. It was expected of her. It was what Carmela had seen her own mother do. She expected the same from Arizona.
With an exasperated look, Arizona said, "I can't believe you are fine with being in a marriage and remaining in the dark."
"Would it change your perception of my daughter and my husband if you knew everything?" Carmela asked her daughter in law.
Not choosing to answer the question, she decided to use Callie's method. A question for a question. "Has it changed yours?" Arizona asked.
With an affirmative look, Carmela said, "No. They are both two very important people in my lives. I love them both. I would die for them both. They are the same people they always were. I separate their work from my life. It's the only way Arizona."
As Arizona sat and listened, Carmela continued. "There are things that's been going on between spouses for years. Some spoken, some unspoken. This life Arizona, sometimes it's kill or be killed. That's not pretty, but it's the truth. Callie loves you. She wants to take care of you...protect you. You need to let this go. Just trust her. She has your best interest at heart. Nothing good will come from knowing too much."
Taking the blonde's hand, the older woman wanted to remind Arizona of her obligations. Her choices. Her decisions. Decisions that she had made at the altar. Decisions that now forced the blonde to turn her head from her wife's actions. "This is the life you chose Arizona. A life of privilege and power, and to look the other way."
As evening came, Callie walked into a dimly lit house. Stepping into the living room, she noticed Arizona sitting on the sofa. Alone. Deciding to venture inside, the brunette moved to sit at the other end of the long sofa. She wanted desperately to take her wife into her arms. To hold her. To explain things further. But, she couldn't explain any more. There was nothing else left to say. Callie had told Arizona what she could about her life. Only, there was a stopping point.
Catching her wife's eye, Callie broke the silence. "There are parts of my life that I cannot share." Callie was doing her wife a favor because in reality, Arizona did not really want to know about the sordid details.
"So you are asking me to live a life with eyes closed? What exactly do you think of me?" Arizona asked as she sat reflecting on her decisions. She had originally chosen to stay, but she had begun to question herself. Had she made a fleeting decision?
"To me, as a wife... you symbolize the morality that I want to live. The goodness and hope that I need in my life. You are the purest thing in my life. My moral compass." Speaking from her heart, Callie told the truth. Arizona was her light. A light that shone through the darkness that surrounded her life and this business.
Arizona was madly in love with Callie. She would never betray Callie, but she had to ask herself some serious questions. If she'd accepted that Callie was still in the Mafia business that required murder, was that okay with her or not? If she thought that Callie was honestly trying to get out, would that help her feel differently about this? Can one ever justify murder? Even condone it?
The words from her earlier conversation with Carmela came back to Arizona's memory... "This is the life you chose. A life of privilege and power, and to look the other way."
As they stared at one another for a while, Arizona finally crossed the space between her and Callie. Sliding into her wife's lap, the blonde kissed her wife with an intensity that had not been since the beginning of their marriage.
Running her fingers through Arizona's blonde hair, Callie pulled Arizona on top of her. The kiss was passionate. Lustful. Needy.
Breaking away, Arizona looked into the dark chocolate eyes. Roaming over tanned features, she ghosted her fingers across Callie's lips. Tracing the outline of plump tender lips, she said, "I'm sorry. I know I asked about your job. I wanted to know. I did choose this life. But I'm not sure that I can look the other way. I'm not sure I want to either. I just need to think about everything. To be alone and think."
Intense dark eyes squinted as Callie listened to the voice that had the ability to bring both, passion and heartbreak. Callie heard the words, but they were not acceptable. Not now. Not ever.
"No." The brunette commanded.
"What?"
"No. You cannot leave me." Again, forcing her way through this conversation, Callie was adamant. No one would be leaving this house or this marriage. They had taken vows. Vows that would only be broken by death. No other way was allowed.
Extracting herself from her wife's lap, Arizona slid back away from Callie. "Callie. I feel..."
"This is your home. This is your life. I told you that I am trying to make our family legitimate. I am trying Arizona." Callie was trying. She felt the need to explain her intentions once again.
"It takes time Arizona. It can't happen overnight."
Callie was sincere. Arizona believed Callie was trying to make the Torres family legitimate. Could that erase everything the blonde had just learned? Would that take the place of the facts in this case? No matter how hard she tried to justify the mafia way of life, the facts remained.
In a soft but determined voice, Arizona again relayed the message that her wife would never consider justifiable. "I would only be a few days. I will..."
"You will not leave." The tone was calm, but the look was intense.
"I never said I was leaving for good Callie. I will come back. Sometimes a person just needs to take a step back and reassess their life."
Arizona could see the conflicting emotions her wife's brown eyes. Tears had formed and were slowly trickling down tanned features. This wasn't what she wanted. In fact, so many emotions filled the blonde's mind that she wasn't even sure what she desired.
Pulling away, Arizona spoke to her wife in a sincere tone. Taking Callie by the arms, she gripped her wife as she spoke from her heart. "I want to get away for a few days. A mini vacation. To decompress. Get away from everything and everyone. This has been emotional for me, as well as the baby. I need to clear my head Callie. I have a lot to think about. You understand, right?"
Studying Arizona's facial expressions, Callie wondered if this was an attempt to placate her. Her wife was smart. The brunette knew that if Arizona left, she might not choose to come back. And now, there was a baby in the middle of this. That option was not well received.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea."
"Are you stopping me? Are you going to prevent me from leaving?" As her wife's expression gave away her answer, Arizona questioned what she knew would be the true test of their marriage.
Callie was in a peculiar situation. If she told Arizona she could not leave, that would cause a major problem. An irreversible scenario. How would that ever be mended? But on the other hand, if she let her leave, Callie risked losing it all. But, Callie had no intention in losing. She would fight for Arizona. She would fight to keep her there. If something is worth fighting for, shouldn't you fight?
"You didn't answer me. Are you going to stop me from leaving?" Arizona asked again.
Fighting to save her family, and possibly losing it in the process. Ironic isn't it. That's the risk Callie was about to take. This conversation had the power to break all bonds between the wives. All trust.
Taking a deep breath in order to calm herself Callie said, "Yes."
Yes?" Arizona asked for clarification.
"I cannot allow you to leave..." Callie answered. But before she could finish Callie was interrupted by her wife's disbelief.
"Allow me to leave? Do you hear yourself?" Raising her voice in a high-pitched tone, Arizona began to get upset.
In a calm voice, to control her own temper as well as her wife's, Callie continued. "Let me finish Arizona."
"I have heard enough. This conversation is over." Standing to remove herself from her wife's presence, Arizona was stopped.
Reaching for her wife's hand, Callie held on tightly to Arizona. Standing to face the blonde that she loved so dearly, Callie continued, "I cannot allow you to leave. We both need a vacation. And I have somewhere that I want to take you. Somewhere that I know you will love."
"I meant that I need time alone. As in... without you."
"I know what you meant. And, if after this vacation you want to go away by yourself then fine. But give me a chance here. It was a surprise that I didn't have the opportunity to give you on our anniversary. But I want to take you there now. Then, if you still want time apart," Callie didn't want to honor her wife's request, but she knew that after this vacation, she wouldn't have to. This trip would change her wife's outlook.
"I will honor that request. Just give me a chance Arizona. That's all I'm asking."
Soulful brown eyes gazed into crystal blue orbs. Pursing her lips together, Arizona thought about Callie's offer. This wasn't what she had in mind. She didn't even know what she wanted exactly. Too much had happened since the accident. Too much had been said. Words played over and over in Arizona's mind.
"How long will we be gone?"
"However long you want. One week. Two weeks. That's for you to decide."
"Callie. If I agree to go, I mean it. I really want some time alone on this trip...to think."
"I promise on this trip you will have the best spot to sit and think as much as you like. You can have all the privacy you need. So, is that a yes?"
Hesitantly agreeing, Arizona said, "I guess it is."
"You won't regret this honey. I promise. Now go upstairs and start packing. I have to make a couple of calls in my office and rearrange some things. We can fly out first thing in the morning."
"We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future. As if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears, and our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain: When it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it."