Takeshi had always been a happy child. He easily got along with others, whether it be children his age or adults. If someone asked the neighbourhood about the Yamamoto child, they would be pelted with stories and praises and adoration about him.
"He's such a sweet kid,"
"Takeshi? Oh, he's always willing to help,"
"A happy kid, that one, always smiling,"
"His parents must be really proud, I know I would be,"
His parents were indeed proud of their little sunshine, and they made sure to remind him every chance they got, in the morning when he wakes up, after picking him up from the park or the elementary school, in the evening when they gather after a long day, before tucking him into bed, anytime they could.
They gave him all the love and affection and care that any child deserves, and in turn, Takeshi shared the overflowing love with other people. It's just the way he was raised. Give love, be kind, help those in need, treat others kindly.
So it came as no surprise when the little Takeshi noticed the quiet little boy in his class and decided to become friends.
The boy was always alone and didn't interact with others, he was quiet most of the time. Takeshi thinks he may be shy. So with no hesitation, he walked up to the boy sitting on the floor just watching other kids play together, smiling brightly and gave an enthusiastic wave.
"Hello! I'm Yamamoto Takeshi, let's be friends!"
The little brunet who was not expecting the interaction gave a startled squeak "...Um, hello,"
Takeshi smiled "Wanna play with the blocks with me?" He would have preferred to play outside, but he had noticed that this boy doesn't go out much but stays inside, reading picture books or building cool stuff with the building blocks.
"Why do you wanna play with me?" the brunet asked, his eyes wide and bright with confusion.
"Because you're all alone and it's not fun being alone, and if I play with you, you won't be alone!" Takeshi answered easily, still smiling, still patient.
The brunet blinked in confusion, "But-But we're not friends?" he said hesitantly, as if question how true that statement was.
"Of course we are!" the blacked haired boy said, absolute confidence and conviction colouring his words, as if he was stating an irrefutable law of the universe that everyone must be aware of.
"But you don't know anything about me, how can we be friends?" the brunet muttered.
Takeshi didn't know why the other boy would even say that, in his eyes, you don't need to know stuff about other people before being friends, if you wanna be friends with someone then play with them and have fun and you become friends. But if knowing stuff is how the brunet thinks friends are made, then so be it, Takeshi will correct him later on.
"Okay, then tell me your name,"
"...My name is Sawada Tsunayoshi, you can call me Tsuna,"
The smile on Takeshi's face turned into a grin "See, now we can be friends!"
"Really?"
"Yeah! I know your name, I don't need to know other stuff to be your friend," Takeshi took the boy's hand and lead him towards the area where the blocks are either stacked above each other or strewn about haphazardly, ready to be used. He sat down and smiled when Tsuna quickly joined him on the floor.
They spent the entire day playing together, laughing and enjoying themselves. Takeshi thinks that he may be Tsuna's first friend because Tsuna is always so unsure of what to do, he always asks Takeshi if they really are friends and Takeshi doesn't mind. He's actually really happy to be Tsuna's friend.
From then on, every day, Takeshi would make sure to play with Tsuna and even managed to take him outside and play with the ball and in the sandpit, apparently, Tsuna didn't hate going outside, it's just that he had no one to play with (Tsuna also said that it's because he's always sick, but Takeshi didn't know how can someone be sick all the time). And Tsuna would help him in class if he couldn't understand anything.
One time Takeshi had called himself dumb for not understanding what was taught.
"Oh, that makes so much sense now, thanks Tsuna!"
"No problem, that's what friends do, right? They help each other, right?"
"Yeah, they do," Takeshi laughed before scratching his cheek and giving a sheepish smile to Tsuna "But, really, thanks for always explain things to me, I know I can be really dumb sometimes," Before he became friends with Tsuna, a lot of his friends would call him dumb for not understanding something they understood, he always brushed it off with a laugh but the words were never truly forgotten.
After Tsuna started to explain stuff to him, no one had called him dumb because now he knows the concept and actually enjoys the lessons.
"I don't think you're dumb," Tsuna said, taking Takeshi by surprise, "I think you're one of the smartest people in class,"
"Huh? How?"
"I mean, um, you get distracted easily, so you miss important explanation and then when you pay attention again, you'd be really confused because you missed a part of it. All I need to do is explain the part you missed and you understand immediately." Tsuna said, his words just as sure as Takeshi's had been when he stated that they were friends all those months ago "And besides," Tsuna started again, as he blushed lightly, "you are really kind, and really nice and very helpful, you know the right thing to say when someone's sad and I think that's really really cool,"
It was then that Takeshi felt it for the first time, the warmth of acceptance. Outside of his parents, Tsuna was the first one to say that. He thought he knew what having friends feels like, but Takeshi never felt this warm and cosy with his other friends, no one, except with Tsuna.
He was snapped out of his pleasant daze with the ringing of the bell, signalling the end of the math class and the start of lunch. Tsuna was blushing and trying to stutter out an apology for offending Takeshi somehow.
Laughing softly, Takeshi threw himself at Tsuna, the slightly shorter boy barely managing to stay upright, giving him a hug. Tsuna was confused but returned the hug nonetheless. Takeshi remained like that for a moment, hugging the boy whom he came to realise as his best friend, enjoying the warmth in his heart.
"Now," Breaking the hug, Takeshi started, smile blinding and eyes shining with glee "Let's hurry and eat before lunch is over!"
The Two quickly became best friends and remained as such for long months that became a year, then two, one wouldn't be seen without the other at school, they visit each other's homes and play in the park together. It was during one of those playdates in the neighbourhood park with Takeshi's mother watching over the two that Takeshi last talked to Tsuna for a long time.
At the time, Hikaru had come to pick Tsuna up from the park. When Takeshi had asked if they couldn't stay longer and play together, Hikaru had been apologetic and had said that they promised their mom to go back home early because their dad was coming for a visit along with a friend from work and that they got to help in the preparations.
Takeshi had nodded in understanding, waving at the two Sawadas goodbye, and getting equally enthusiastic waves back, he stood beside his mother, his small hand in hers as they happily walked back home. Chatting and laughing and joking and promising treats.
Takeshi had always been a happy child.
But things don't last forever.
Happiness doesn't last forever.
In a flash, things turned chaotic. And when Takeshi came to his senses, he realized he was on the ground, knees and hands stinging from the fall, his ears ringing from the screech of tires and the screams of people, turning around he searched for his mother, hoping to see her close by and safe, only for his eyes to land on her crumbled form, a sea of red surrounding her.
"Kaa-chan?" he stood up unsteadily and stumbled his way to his mother and gazed uncomprehendingly at the scene before him.
He furrowed his brow, people were now murmuring and whispering as they stared at the tragedy, but Takeshi doesn't care about that, he just wants his Kaa-chan to wake up.
"Kaa-chan, wake up,"
Slowly coming to the realisation that she's not waking up, he fell to his knees beside her and softly shook her shoulder, urging her to open her eyes "Kaa-chan, you need to wake up," she remained unresponsive. His sight started getting blurry and it took him a moment to realise that it was due to tears.
His mind started to piece together what had happened. An accident. A car accident. The type of accident that they learn about in school, and the accident that their teachers say we avoid by following the rules.
And Takeshi knew, his Kaa-chan was not waking up. He held her hand in his -still so painfully warm it was- and he felt like his heart was not working anymore, and his lungs were tiny. He was sobbing now, gazing with hazel eyes in heartbreak at his mother's soft features, she looked so relaxed, just like this morning when Takeshi went to wake her up because she promised to take him to the park today.
Takeshi felt someone place a hand on his shoulder, they were saying something, but all Takeshi wanted to do was stay beside his mother. The sound of the ambulance was the last thing Takeshi remember.
Takeshi didn't go to school for two weeks after that. He remained holed up in his room, barely doing anything other than mourning the loss of his precious mother.
It was only when Takeshi witnessed his father crying -his happy, always smiling father- did he decided that it was enough. That night, the young boy made a promise to himself; no more tears, no more sadness. If not for himself, then for his father.
He didn't tell his father about his vow, but kept it close to his heart. But he had stepped out of his room and ate with his father again. He helped him in his shop and apologized for not being there for him.
He got one of the softest hugs from his father for his words. It was like Takeshi was a precious, fragile little gem that would shatter at the lightest of touches.
Takeshi...Takeshi didn't like that. Remembering his vow to be strong, he asked his father to return to school, in hope that things would settle down back to normal.
The very next day, the moment he entered the classroom, he was swarmed by his worried classmates. Any other day and he would be flattered, but now, Takeshi felt nothing but frustration.
They asked too many questions, poked and probed and whined and didn't know when to quit!
He tried avoiding the topic but they wouldn't understand. He told them it's personal but they didn't stop. He told them it was painful to talk about but they continued to whine.
That day, Takeshi had yelled at his classmates for the first time.
They stopped asking him.
They stopped talking to him entirely.
They were avoiding him.
At the end of the day, and as Takeshi was leaving the classroom, he heard someone call his name.
"Takeshi!"
He knew that voice.
"Takeshi, wait! I need to talk to you!"
It was Tsuna, the ever warm, ever understanding, so very kind Tsuna. His best friend. His only friend, now.
Takeshi shouldn't have been afraid of talking to him. Tsuna always understood, and if he didn't, he accepted it for what it was. Tsuna would not do something that would make Takeshi sad. Takeshi knew that.
And yet...
Tsuna was the one person, Takeshi could not bear to talk to. Not now.
Takeshi ran, Tsuna's voice quickly fading out. Tsuna was never one that liked running. It makes him tired fast.
As his father's sushi restaurant came into view, Takeshi stopped. He was breathing heavily and his legs hurt. And...
And he was crying.
He ran away from Tsuna, because he was terrified. What if he finds out that Tsuna was like all their other classmates, like all these people he had thought to be his friends.
His heart was weeping, begging him to go back to his only real friend and he would make things better. But his head was anxiously denying him respite. Because while he knows that Tsuna is good and Tsuna is kind and Tsuna is so, so understanding and warm, he can't help but think 'what if?'.
It pains him.
He goes to his father, face dripping with tears of frustration and anger and hate at himself for making things so difficult and complicated.
His father hugs him, just as softly as before, and tries his best to soothe the burning sorrow that was in Takeshi's heart.
It works for a while.
And his father doesn't need to hug him anymore, doesn't need to comfort him, because Takeshi doesn't cry anymore, he doesn't allow his father to see him cry anymore. He merely gets better at hiding his tears. He's aware of that. And he's aware that his father's aware of that fact too. But neither of them broach the subject, and it remains dormant for years.
Tsuna tries a few more times before he gives up. Takeshi is faster, older, and stronger. If he doesn't want to talk, then Tauna doesn't have a chance.
Takeshi tries his best to ignore Tsuna, because otherwise his eyes will burn and his heart will demand he gets back his best friend. To go back and apologise and hope they'll remain friends.
(It doesn't stop him from noticing how Tsuna and Hikaru, who's in a different class, never go home together anymore.
It doesn't stop him from noticing how utterly sad Tsuna is. How defeated he looks and how his movements just scream tired, I'm so, so tired.
It doesn't stop him from noticing how Tsuna was getting bullied, and by Hikaru no less.
But it stops him from interfering, stops him from defending Tsuna, who has done nothing wrong, absolutely nothing, and ask Hikaru how could you do that, he's your little brother, weren't you the one that always took care of him? Worried about him? You were just as kind as Tsuna, what happened to you?)
So Takeshi stayed away. It was a struggle every time he glimpses Tsuna not to march to him, and ask for his forgiveness. But after a while, things start to become monotonous. And he can ignore the pain in his heart as it cries for the loss of loved ones and warmth and comfort.
It goes on for weeks then months, and both of them try and ignore the other, thinking that approaching them would cause nothing but trouble. Both thinking that they couldn't help.
The silence between them stretches all the way till fourth grade, when Takeshi is 10 and Tsuna is 9. Then, Tsuna just disappears. Him and Hikaru. Nothing is known about them for almost three weeks. That's when Hikaru comes back. But no one could get an answer out of him.
He's angry, Takeshi realises, he's angry and distressed. Anyone that tries to talk to him, or ask about Tsuna, gets yelled at and pushed away.
Takeshi doesn't approach him until a few weeks later, when he seems to, not calm down but more like simmering in anxiety and his anger on low heat. Still there. Still constant. Still liable to blow up.
But Takeshi goes up to him because he's so very worried, his heart beating rapidly. He's worried and so scared. He wishes strongly that Tsuna is safe, he wishes with all his might that Tsuna will come back.
He asks Hikaru, and gets his answer "he disappeared," what do you mean he disappeared? No one just vanishes into thin air! "He went out once and didn't come back,"
Takeshi can hear the betrayal in the blond's words. But he couldn't offer comfort, couldn't do anything other than patting the other's shoulder and muttering a pitiful "I'm sure he'll come back," before leaving.
That night, while Takeshi is in his bed, under the covers that gives him the feeling of security, he begs the world;
'Please, please, don't take Tsuna like you've taken mom, please bring him back safe...'
The hazel-eyed boy doesn't see Tsuna until two years later, in his class on his first day of middle school.
Takeshi almost collapses in shock and relief, because Tsuna is here, and he's safe and back! He manages to take a seat without falling down or tripping. He glances at Tsuna and sees that the brunet is still small, still quiet. But also, he feels unreachable. To Takeshi, there's this barrier around Tsuna that blocks people from him, keeps them away.
Tsuna is still the same, yet, very different.
But by then Takeshi thinks, he doesn't deserve to be Tsuna's friend anymore. He had abandoned him when Tsuna was trying to be nice.
He had been a coward to run away. He could say that the fear of finding out that the one person whom he had trusted far more than anyone else turns out to be nothing but an illusion. But that would be just throwing excuses and hoping that everything is solved.
But Tsuna notices him, and smiles and ever so warmly he greets him "Good morning, Yamamoto,"
Takeshi's reply comes a little late (he feels his eyes sting, because since when was he Yamamoto? Was he not Takeshi before?), but Tsuna is still smiling. Still patient.
"Good morning..." he trails off, unsure if he can still call him Tsuna or if he should call him Sawada. He isn't sure why, but that little thought causes a deep ache in his chest.
All their interactions after that are polite and friendly. But never really as familiar as before.
Tsuna gives him the chance to call him Tsuna again. And Takeshi gives another vow to make things right. To set them back on track. And to make up for his mistakes.
And then he broke his arm.
And he almost committed a grave mistake.
But Tsuna came for him, his presence strong and commanding, it all but screamed listen to me, eyes sharp and shining brilliant amber. Tsuna helped him, and smiled at him and made him realise.
And Takeshi had felt like things could become better. As he sat beside Tsuna on the cold floor of a classroom that they were pulled into by Hibari (and isn't that a mystery in and of itself) when he saved them from their fall, both dripping from rain and soaking wet.
By all means, Takeshi should be freezing, but it felt like he could breathe for the first time, his heart that has wept for so long, was humming in happiness now.
Takeshi felt warm.
And Tsuna even tried to apologise...
"I'm sorry,"
Takeshi, who was content in enjoying the quiet, looked at his companion. Tsuna sat beside him on the floor, around the both of them a puddle of rainwater.
Gokudera had declared that he would get his tenth (another mystery) some towels and ran out of the room as though the devil was on his heels.
Takeshi tilted his head "What are you sorry for?"
Tsuna doesn't look at him when he gives his answer "that day, when you asked me what to do, I did nothing but throw logic at your face and leave. I should have stayed-"
"That's not your fault, Tsuna. What I did was not your fault,"
Takeshi gives the other a smile. He can't say he's surprised that Tsuna is shouldering the blame. He isn't surprised, but he wouldn't allow it. Not after Takeshi destroyed their friendship.
"But, I could've-"
"It doesn't matter," Takeshi cuts him off, because he had never felt like it was Tsuna's fault to begin with. And even if Tsuna would think it was his fault, Takeshi would remind him that he wasn't the one that ran away.
Then Tsuna would try and convince him that that wasn't his fault.
In the end, they both agreed to disagree.
(And when Gokudera came running back into the classroom, carrying a ridiculous number of towels and blankets that Takeshi didn't know the school had, and all but dumped them on Tsuna, and Tsuna who was so small he was smothered completely under them and disappeared from view.
Takeshi had laughed long and hard at the scene as Gokudera desperately tried to apologise and Tsuna assuring him that everything was fine as he tried to climb out of the sea of warmth surrounding him.
Takeshi had felt so satisfied, as if he was a puzzle that was missing the most important piece and now it was complete)
That day, Takeshi had gone home with an ache in his stomach, not one that came from unease, but the pleasant ache that came from laughing so much for so long.
Takeshi had always been a happy child.
But when he's with Tsuna, he feels so content and satisfied. He feels like he belongs with them and that even if things turn south, they would, eventually, be happy again.