July 10, 2020
Edge of the Everfree Forest
It had been three days since the poison Joke incident. Zecora's ominous warning had been weighing heavily on Jack's mind. To make matters worse, he was missing his Asperger's meds, and Princess Celestia was scheduled to visit tomorrow. At present, he and Fluttershy were gathering flowers for the Princess's arrival.
"Who was she talking about? Should I take her advice and leave?" he wondered.
"Are you alright, Jack?" asked Fluttershy as she picked a flower from a bush.
"I'm fine!" Jack said defensively.
"Are you sure?" Fluttershy asked in concern. "You've been acting off since yesterday."
"It's nothing," Jack said. "I could ask them to check the Lowcountry for my prescriptions, I'm sure if they look through a few pharmacies, they'll find the right ones… No, it'll take too long to get there and back, Celestia will be here tomorrow. I should have taken care of this earlier."
"If you're sure," said Fluttershy as a squirrel holding a dandelion tapped her leg. "Oh, thank you, little squirrel, but these flowers are meant for the Princess. Only the prettiest will do."
A breeze blew the seeds from the dandelion, and the squirrel rushed off.
Deciding that she had gathered enough flowers, Fluttershy picked up her basket and began to walk off, "I think we have enough flowers, Jack. We should go ahead and bring them back to town."
"Uh, yeah, sure," Jack said awkwardly.
As the two of them walked toward a bucket of apples, Fluttershy had brought to share with the local wildlife the yellow pegasus was startled by a noise. She quickly hid behind the bucket.
Looking around, Jack discovered the source of the noise to be a small insect, "It's just a bug, you cry… er, I mean it's just a fly, Flutters," he facepalmed. "That was close!"
The shy pegasus peaked out from behind the apple bucket and noticed the bug. "Oh my goodness!" she said as she made her way to the bug. "Hello, Little guy. I've never seen anything like you before."
The bug responded by flying over to an apple and giving a small chirp.
"Oh, are you hungry?" Fluttershy asked before crushing the apple. "Here you go."
The insect showed no interest in the crushed apple and instead began to rapidly devour the apples in the bucket.
"What the fuck? It shouldn't even be able to eat one apple. How is it…" Jack thought as the fly finished. "Dear God, I can't take anymore weird right now."
"I guess you were hungry," Fluttershy said as the fly settled in her mane.
"Oh, come on! You can't be serious!" Jack yelled.
"What are you talking about?" asked Fluttershy in concern.
"That thing just swallowed like ten times its body mass in only a few seconds, and you're just letting it rest in yer hair?!" Jack asked.
"Why wouldn't I?" the pegasus asked.
"How do yah know it ain't gonna eat you next?" asked Jack.
"Don't be silly, Jack," Fluttershy said as the fly rubbed against her face. "Does this look like the face of a pony eater?" she asked as the fly stared at him with puppy dog eyes.
"No," Jack relented.
"Good, then let's go show this adorable little thing to our friends," Fluttershy said as she began walking toward the town.
"Alright," Jack sighed.
Outside Sugarcube Corner
"Do we really need to show it to Pinks first?" Jack groaned.
"What's wrong with that?" asked Fluttershy.
"N-nothing," Jack replied. "I really can't deal with her right now."
"Good, and Twilight should be here too," Fluttershy said as they entered Sugar Cube Corner. "Twilight, Pinkie, you won't believe..." Fluttershy began before noticing that her two friends seemed to be in the middle of an argument. "oh, I'm sorry. Uh, am I interrupting?"
"No, not at all. Come on in and make yourself at home," Pinkie said before she rolled out her tongue and dragged a cake from the counter into her throat.
"Well, that's the last thing I expected to see today, or ever," Jack thought as he facepalmed. "I knew I should have stayed home today."
"What's up, you guys?" asked Pinkie.
"You won't believe what we found at the edge of the Everfree Forest," Fluttershy said before glancing at her mane. "Come on out, little guy. It's okay."
To both Fluttershy and Jack's surprise, not one but three little bugs flew out.
"Three?" they questioned at the same time.
"They're amazing," said Twilight as she walked over. "What are they?"
"I'm not sure," Fluttershy answered. "I'm also not sure where these other two came from."
"I'll take one off your hooves. I've never seen anything so... adorable," Twilight offered as she cuddled the insect. "Besides, it'll be nice to have a companion for Spike, so he won't bother me so much while I'm studying."
"You want to keep them?" Jack asked. "We have no idea what the fuck these things are!"
"They're parasprites," said Pinkie.
"Para-what-now?" Jack asked.
"No time to explain," Pinkie said as she walked toward the door. "I need to find a trombone now!"
"Well, that was random," Jack noted as the pink pony left.
"That's Pinkie for you," Twilight sighed. "I should get going; there's still a ton of planning to do."
"Good luck, Twilight," said Fluttershy as the purple unicorn left. "I think we should get these little guys back to the cottage now," she added as she snuggled the two insects in her mane.
Ponyville Town Square
As Fluttershy and Jack made their way back home, Jack noticed Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon gathered around Town Hall.
"Check out my new cutie mark, blank flanks!" Silver Spoon said as she showed off the fancy spoon on her flank.
"Oh, look, Jack, it's your friends," Fluttershy pointed out. "Why don't you go play with them."
"I'm not sure that's a good idea right now, mother," Jack said awkwardly.
"You've been avoiding your friends for two days now," Fluttershy pointed out. "I'm starting to get worried. Please do it for me," Fluttershy said with puppy dog eyes.
"Ugh, fine," Jack sighed. "This isn't going to go well."
"Wonderful, enjoy your playdate," Fluttershy said as she continued to the cottage.
"Yeah, sure," Jack said as he looked over to the fillies.
"Diamond Tiara doesn't have hers yet either, why don't you go pick on her?" asked Scootaloo.
"This coming from the pegasus who can't even fly yet," Diamond Tiara sneered.
"So what?" asked Sweetie Belle.
"So, I'd say a pegasus that can't fly is about as useless as a unicorn that can't use magic," the magenta filly said.
"I…" Sweetie Belle started.
"That's what I thought," Diamond Tiara said in satisfaction.
"HEY!" Jack shouted as he walked over.
"Oh great, it's the ape," said Silver Spoon.
"What's going on here?" said Jack as he reached the fillies.
"We're just putting these blank flanks in their place," the silver filly responded.
"Blank flanks?" the human questioned before he noticed Silver's new cutie mark. "Oh, you got your butt tattoo, congratulations!"
"Butt tattoo? It's called a cutie mark you disgusting ape," Diamond Tiara said.
"Tomato, Tomato, who cares," Jack said playfully. "Hopefully, since I'm not stressed out right now, I won't have another meltdown."
"I guess an ape-like you wouldn't understand the importance of having a cutie mark," Diamond Tiara responded.
"Fair enough, but it doesn't look like you have one either," Jack pointed out.
The small bully wasn't happy with being talked down too, but she didn't really have a comeback either. "Whatever, let's get out of here, Silver Spoon."
"Good idea, we should like get ready for my cute-ceañera" Silver Spoon agreed as they left.
"Thank you, Jack," said Sweetie Belle once the bullies had left.
"Yeah, the way you handled those bullies was amazing!" Scootaloo exclaimed.
"Don't mention it, you guys," Jack said. "Maybe I can act normally even without the meds."
"Me and Sweetie Belle were going to hang out at my house," Scootaloo explained. "Miss Cheerilee is taking care of me tonight and said we could have a sleepover!"
"I thought she lived with her aunts. Is Cheerilee like her sister or something?" Jack wondered. "Are you related to Miss Cheerilee or something?"
"No, she just takes care of me sometimes when my aunts can't," Scootaloo responded.
The orange pegasus explained that her parents were adventurers that her aunts usually took care of her while they were gone. Jack tried to pay attention, but due to his Asperger's, he soon lost interest.
"That's nice," Jack responded.
"What do you mean nice?" Scootaloo snapped. "I just said that my parents never have any time to take care of me."
"Shit!" Jack thought. "I… well, I mean, look at it from my perspective. My parents are dead. At least you still get to see yours sometimes."
"I guess that makes sense," Scootaloo replied.
Scootaloo's House
The three classmates arrived about 5 minutes later. They walked inside to find Cheerilee, making a grass salad.
"Welcome home, Scootaloo," Cheerilee said. "I see you've brought Jack with you as well. Will he be staying over?"
"Can he?" asked Scootaloo.
"If Fluttershy says it's fine, then sure," Cheerilee responded.
"I didn't really get the chance to ask her," Jack admitted hoping to avoid any chance of spending the night without meds.
"I see," Cheerilee responded. "Oh well, you can at least stay for dinner. The three of you can hang out in the living room until it's ready."
Once they made their way into the living room, Scootaloo decided to ask Jack about his family. "If you don't mind me asking, what were your family like?"
"I can do better than that. I'll show them to you," Jack said as he reached into his pocket.
"But I thought they were… you know," said Sweetie Belle.
"They are," said Jack as he pulled up a photo of him and his family. "The blond lady to the left is my mother, the large man to the right is my father, and my brother is the skinny guy beside my dad."
"Oh, wow, your mom is so pretty!" Sweetie Belle complimented.
"Who's the long-maned guy beside your mom?" asked Scootaloo.
"That's me… Err, my cousin," Jack said.
"He looks like he hasn't taken a bath in weeks," Sweetie Belle said.
"Hey, give him a break. He had just gotten home from work when this was taken," Jack said.
"My family would never let me take a photo looking like that," Sweetie Belle said. "In fact…"
"Yeah, that's nice," Jack interrupted. "But my cousin worked outside all day, so I really don't think there is any need to criticize him for his hygiene."
From that point forward, the conversation turned to nothing more than a monologue from Jack in which the two fillies could not manage to get more than a few sentences without being interrupted. After about ten minutes into the conversation, Cheerilee informed them that dinner was ready.
While the others dug into their meal, Jack was somewhat reluctant. Something Cheerilee was quick to pick up on. "You haven't touched your salad, Jack. Is something wrong?"
"Humans don't really eat grass," he admitted.
"I'm so sorry, I'll find something else for you right away," Cheerilee said as she got up.
"Thanks," Jack said. "Wait a minute. I can't just let her make a whole new meal for me! I shouldn't have even come here, to begin with."
"So, we have…" Cheerilee began.
"Wait, Miss Cheerilee," Jack said.
"What is it?" the teacher asked.
"Can I talk to you… privately?" he asked.
"Sure," Cheerilee said as she beckoned him into the hallway.
Jack got up and followed his teacher into the hall.
"What do you need to talk about?" his teacher asked.
"Well… You remember that outburst I had on my first day?"
"I do," Cheerilee acknowledged. "You said it was because of a condition, and you had run out of meds, right?"
"Yeah, here's the thing I kinda ran out of my meds again," Jack admitted.
"Why don't you tell Fluttershy?" asked Cheerilee.
"I'll do it tomorrow, but I realize that I've probably been a bit rude since I got here so, you don't need to make me any more food. I'll just go home now," Jack explained.
"I understand," Cheerilee explained. "Do you need me to take you home?"
"No, I'll be fine. Thanks anyway," Jack said.
Outside Fluttershy's Cottage
5 minutes later
"I'll tell Fluttershy tomorrow," Thought Jack. "I've been lucky, so far, I've just been a little awkward." He let out a sigh, "Look on the bright side, Jack. How stressful can things get between now and Tomorrow Morning?"
"Hey, Fluttershy. How are you…" Jack said as he opened the door. "What the fuck?"
The two parasprites Fluttershy had brought home with her had increased in number to eighteen.
"Where did all these things come from!?" Jack asked Fluttershy, who was sorting through her animal food.
"I'm not really sure," Fluttershy admitted.
"Well, you had better figure it out! These things are multiplying like fucking guppies!" Jack exclaimed.
"I know, but it's not like they're hurting anything," Fluttershy said.
"Whatever, I'm going to bed," Jack said as he ran up the stairs.
July 11, 2020
Jack's Room
It was 11:30 when Jack woke up. He quickly slipped on his clothes and headed for the door. To his surprise, upon opening it, his room was swarmed by hundreds of the little bugs.
"Well, this is just typical now, isn't it?" he said to himself.
Quickly making his way downstairs, he found that Fluttershy had left a note on the table next to an empty plate.
Dear Jack
When I woke up this morning, I found that the parasprites had multiplied to the point they were swarming the cottage. Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash are all having the same problem. As much as it pains me to do it, the four of us have agreed to release them all back into the Everfree forest, but I did decide to keep one. I've left some eggs for you on the table.
See you when I get back.
Fluttershy.
"FUCKING BULLSHIT!" he shouted as he slammed the table.
Outside
Having gotten rid of the infestation, Twilight and friends were heading back to Fluttershy's Cottage.
"Okay, everyone knows what to do, right?" asked Twilight. "We gotta work extra hard to make up for lost time."
Fluttershy flew ahead and opened her door, only for a new swarm to zoom out, followed by a furious Jack.
"Where did they come from?" Twilight asked.
"I'LL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHERE THEY CAME FROM!" Jack shouted as he pointed to Fluttershy. "THIS GENIOUS DECIDED TO KEEP ONE!"
"I couldn't help m-myself," Fluttershy defended. "They were just so cute."
"YOU KNEW THAT THE ONES YOU JUST GOT RID OF ALL CAME FROM THE SAME BUG AND YOU STILL KEPT ONE!"
"I-I just…" Fluttershy stuttered.
"Come on, Jack! Sure, Fluttershy messed up, but don't you think your being a little harsh on her?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Whatever," Jack sighed.
"We don't have time to keep rounding up these things," Twilight said as the parasprites swarmed around them. "What do we do now?"
"We call in the weather patrol!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she pulled out her goggles and took to the sky.
The cocky pegasus surveyed the chaos, "Time to take out the adorable trash," She quipped as she began to dive. "YAAAAAA!"
Dash rapidly flew in circles until she formed a tornado that began to suck the parasites out of the air.
"Way to go, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight said as the last bug got sucked into the twister.
"Looks like our problems are solved," Applejack added.
Unfortunately, things weren't so easy. At that moment, Pinkie Pie came by with some cymbals that were sucked into the tornado, throwing Rainbow Dash off balance. The blue pegasus crashed, and the twister broke apart, releasing the swarm into Ponyville.
"Pinkie Pie, what have you done?" Twilight glared.
"I've lost a brand-new pair of cymbals; that's what I've done," Pinkie lamented.
"Will you forget about your silly instruments for one second?" Twilight asked. "You're ruining our efforts to save Ponyville."
"Me? Ruin?" Pinkie asked indignantly. "I'm not the ruiner, I'm the ruin-ee! Or is it ruiness? Ruinette?"
"Come on, girls, there's no reasoning with that one. She's a few apples short of a bushel," Applejack said as she and the other ponies departed for town.
"Hey! I'm trying to tell you all that the ruining is on the other hoof. If you'd just slow down and listen to me!" Pinkie called after them.
"Alright, Pinks. What are you trying to say?" Jack asked after the other ponies had left.
"You'll really listen?" asked Pinkie.
"Just spit it out already!" Jack snapped.
"Okey-doke, Loki!" Pinkie giggled. "The only way to stop parasprites is with music. I've been trying to gather instruments to lead them out of town."
"That sounds like a load of shit to me," Jack said.
"I'm serious!" Pinkie argued. "You have a recorder, right? It would be so much help if you could lend it to me."
"Bull…" Jack stopped himself. "Wait, the musical instrument idea is stupid, but I think I do have something that could help."
"Jackey?" Pinkie questioned.
"Alright, Pinks lets go get my recorder," Jack said.
Jack's Room
4 minutes later
Jack dug through his junk drawer, looking through the items Twilight had returned to him. "Cross neckless from conformation? Nope! Wallet? Nope! Passport? Nope! Keys? Nope! Lighter and bug spray? There we go!"
Jack grabbed the items and started to close the drawer.
"Where's the recorder?" asked Pinkie.
"Oh yeah," Jack pulled out a green plastic recorder with multicolored strings tied around the foot. "Here you go!"
"Thanks, Jackeygottagobye!"
"Clean the damn thing before you bring it back!" Jack called after her before looking at his redneck flamethrower. "Well, this is smart."
Ponyville Residential District
15 minutes later
Due to a botched attempt by Twilight Sparkle at curbing the swarm's hunger, the bugs had switched from eating the town's food to eating the town itself. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were on their way to the market when it began and quickly found themselves hiding in an alley. Unfortunately for the two fillies, they had been spotted.
"Hurry up, Sweetie Belle!" shouted Scootaloo. "We need to get to my scooter."
The two made a break for the scooter but were beaten to the punch by one of the bugs."
"Get the hay away from my scooter!" the orange filly shouted.
The bug paid her no mind and was about to devour the small vehicle when it was shot down by a stream of fire.
"Take that, you flying trash compactor!" Jack shouted.
"Jack!" the fillies shouted.
"You girls, alright?" Jack asked.
"Psht, of course, I had everything under control," Scootaloo said.
"How did you find us?" asked Sweetie Belle.
"I heard Scootaloo yelling," he answered. "I'm on my way to the town square. Don't suppose I could get a lift?"
"Sure thing!" Scootaloo said as she hopped onto the scooter. "Grab on!"
"Sure thing, Scoots!" Jack said as he and Sweetie Belle got behind her.
Scootaloo propelled the scooter rapidly through the town as Sweetie Belle held onto her, and Jack shot down any parasprites who dared to come near them. They arrived in the town square to find the place in chaos. Rainbow Dash struggled to fend off a swarm as she flew between buildings. Rarity franticly tried to wrestle a dress away from another swarm only to break into tears when the swarm eventually won. Fluttershy desperately tried to reason with them, and Applejack tried sicking Wynona on them.
Jack quickly went to work with his flamethrower. However, there was a flaw in his plan.
"Ah, need a little help over here!" Applejack said as she was pushed back by a swarm attempting to get at a lamppost.
"On it!" Jack said as he pointed the can at them.
He pressed the cap down to no result, "What the?"
Pressing it a few more times, he realized he had run out of bug spray.
"What's wrong?" Applejack asked.
"I'm out!" he shouted.
"Well, what are we s'posed tuh do now?" she asked.
"To Hell, if I know," Jack admitted.
As the chaos continued, Twilight returned into town after asking Zecora about the parasprites. "Okay, here's the plan. Rainbow Dash, you distract them."
The rainbow-maned pegasus flew past, trying to evade a swarm. "YAAA!"
"Good. Everyone else, we need to build an exact copy of Ponyville right over there. We've got less than a minute!" Twilight exclaimed like a maniac. "Zecora was right. We're doomed" the purple unicorn said in defeat.
The chaos was interrupted by the sound of a parade.
"Oh no, the Princess's procession is here. It's all over!" Twilight exclaimed.
"What… the fuuuck?" Jack questioned when he saw the origin of the music.
Pinkie Pie marched down the street, playing a massive conglomeration of instruments she had collected from town.
"Pinks! What the Hell is this?" Jack shouted. "Now is not the time for your weirdness!"
Much to Jack's surprise upon hearing the music, the bugs had stopped their swarming and were mesmerized by Pinkie's music.
"She was telling the truth?!" he exclaimed as the parasprites fell in line and followed the pink pony out of town.
As Jack and the ponies followed their friend in shock, Twilight noticed the Princesses chariot landing nearby. "Look!" she said as she pointed toward the landing site.
Everyone except for Pinkie quickly made their way to great the Princess. The ponies bowed as Jack looked at the Princess with indifference.
"Twilight Sparkle, my prized pupil," Celestia greeted.
"Hello, princess," the purple unicorn said as she sat up.
"So lovely to see you again, as well as your friends," the Princess said.
There was a crash as Pinkie marched by with the parasprites causing the other ponies to cringe until she passed by.
"So... how was the trip? Hit much traffic?" Twilight asked awkwardly.
"Ah, what is this?" Celestia asked as a parasprite landed on her wing. "Oh ho ho, these creatures are adorable."
While Celestia continued to converse with Twilight Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle took the chance to ask Jack why he had been acting so weird.
"You seem… different lately," said Scootaloo.
"No offense, but you were kind of rude yesterday," Sweetie Belle added.
Jack sighed. "Well, you see… I kinda…Well…" Jack started. "I'm off my meds. I have been since Thursday."
"Why don't you just ask Fluttershy to get more?" asked Sweetie Belle.
"I don't think they have my particular prescription in Equestria," Jack explained. "She'd probably have to search through the Lowcountry to find the right ones."
"Perhaps I can be of assistance?" Celestia said upon overhearing the conversation.
"And how do you plan on doing that?" Jack asked before mockingly adding. "You're highness."
"I could send a few guards in to find the right meds," Celestia said warmly. "All I'd need to know is what you need and where to look."
"You'd do that for me?" Jack asked.
"Of course, it's the least I could do for somepony who's worked so hard to protect my little ponies," the alicorn princess replied.
"In that case, any building with a sign saying Walgreens, CVS, or Publix could have them," Jack said. "And you'll be looking for Risperdal, Guanfacine, and Ritalin."
"You'll have them by tomorrow," Celestia informed.
"Thank you, Celestia," Jack said. "If there's anything I can do in return, just let me know!"
"Well, there is one thing," Celestia said. "The Royal Court will convene in 5 days' time, as you are the subject of the meeting, I would very much appreciate if you were to attend. The court has been made aware of your secret and would very much like your honest responses to our questions."
"Sure thing," Jack responded.
"Wonderful," Celestia said. "Well, as much as I would like to stick around, there's a bit of an infestation in Fillydelphia that needs my attention."
As Celestia left, Jack and the ponies walked over to thank Pinkie.
"Hey, what happened to the princess?" Pinkie asked.
"Emergency in Fillydelphia," Twilight responded.
"Some sort of infestation," Rainbow Dash added.
"Oh no! Have they got parasprites too? Well, have tuba, will travel," Pinkie said before giving her tuba a toot.
"I think the princess can handle it," Twilight said.
"So you knew what those critters were all along, huh Pinkie Pie?" asked Applejack.
"Well, duh!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Why do you think I was so frantic to get my hooves on all these instruments? I tried to tell you."
"We know, Pinkie Pie, and we're sorry we didn't listen," Twilight said.
The other ponies added their own apologies as well. Finally, Jack reluctantly gave his own apology.
"Hey, Pinks?"
"Yes, Jackey?"
"I'm sorry I said your idea was full of… you know"
"Don't worry about it," Pinkie said. "I can hardly fault you considering you weren't on your meds."
"How did you…"
"Still a secret!"
Twilight cleared her throat. "In any case, thank you, Pinkie. You saved my reputation with Princess Celestia, and more importantly, you saved Ponyville."
Town Square
15 minutes later
"Or not," Twilight said as they stood in the ruined town square.
Grabbing a trombone, Pinkie played a sad tune.
Author's Note:
Not really sure how I feel about how this one turned out. There are parts of it I really like, but also parts I didn't think were very good.
Next Time: Oni-Hime arrives in Ponyville and quickly takes a liking to her target. Meanwhile Jack and Spike team up to help eachother out with chores.