We can all thank Midnight Sun and the Rona for this update. Also, hi. Also, working on a groupie outtake if I can decide on a plot. Got ideas? Send them my way. Also, I've missed you guys! Stay safe. Wash your hands. Wear a damn mask. Be a nice human. - JFI

A quiet knocking on my office door made me look up from my laptop screen. Bree was standing there, a timid smile on her face, shuffling papers into a neat stack.

"Sorry to bother you, Bella. I was getting everything ready for the staff meeting tomorrow and didn't know if you needed me to add anything to the agenda."

"Oh." I looked around my desk absentmindedly. "No… I don't think so." It was an odd question. I'd been to numerous staff meetings since I'd taken up residency at Hope House to work on Emily's case and not once had she asked me if I needed to add anything. "Should there be?"

Bree quickly shook her head. "No. Not really. Its just that the board will be joining in and sometimes people want to add things. Like, if they need something reviewed for the budget or-"

"The board?" I asked, cutting her off midsentence. Although I was technically supposed to have taken over Rene's seat as a Hope House board member I'd yet to really give it any consideration or thought. What was the point? Eventually I would get Emily's case figured out, hopefully sooner rather than later, and I would head back to Arizona. I hadn't attended the two meetings they'd had since I'd been back in Forks, hadn't read any of the reports, and honestly hadn't really cared.

Bree took a small step into my office while explaining. "Well, our fiscal year ends next month so the board members will usually come to see if there are any issues, or ideas, that should be discussed before the budget for next year is finalized. It isn't a huge thing… nothing serious."

"Bree," Edward's voice spoke from the hallway. "When you get a chance could you please get me a copy of the vendor account list?"

"Sure thing." She turned to leave my office, stopping for a second to look back at me. "If you decide you want to add something just email me." Bree headed back to her desk, squeezing past Edward who was looking down at his phone and typing.

Other than civil pleasantries that were muttered to each other in passing Edward and I hadn't spoken since our confrontation at his house. He would mutter a hello every morning, I would nod to let him know I'd heard him, and then it would be an awkward 'night' when I left in the evenings. He'd emailed me to see how Emily's case was going, I'd reluctantly replied that I was still exactly where I'd been when I had started, and I got a response back that simply said ok. And that was it. That was the extent of our communication. It wasn't hostile, I guess I should have been thankful for that, but it was cold and detached.

Shouldn't that make you happy? I asked myself. This is exactly what you'd asked for, Bella. No ties. No connections. Nothing to make it harder to leave when the time came.

Edward looked up from his phone, meeting my gaze. His expression remained the same- stone like and void of any emotion- before disappearing into his own office and shutting the door behind him.

Not even a hello today.

I readjusted my position in the chair before pulling my laptop closer and getting back to the email I was sending.

As we discussed on the phone, I would be incredibly grateful to come up and meet with you regarding my client's request for a divorce. I have made numerous attempts to try and have the elder counsel grant her petition, and issue a protective order, but have only been met with resistance. Like you had mentioned, I believe that enlisting your help would be a huge benefit to us moving forward. Please let me know when you would be available.

I hit send before leaning back in my chair and carefully rolling my neck from side to side- sighing when something popped.

It was by pure luck that I'd stumbled across the website for Quil Ateara. He was an attorney for another tribe, just North of Seattle, who had written an article for some publication about Tribal reservations and the violence against women that took place on them. I had emailed him, just to see if he could offer any sort of advice, and that had led to an hour-long phone conversation.

The idea that there might be someone from another Quileute reservation that might be able to help Emily made me extremely hopeful. She deserved to be heard, and protected, regardless of what the misogynistic men in charge thought. It shouldn't be this hard for anyone but especially someone who had such a clear-cut history of abuse that had been meticulously documented.

With Forks being so close in proximity to La Push, why didn't Hope House have someone on staff that could help? Wasn't that a service that could really benefit this community? Why didn't they offer free legal aide to anyone in the area that needed help? Weren't there grants that Hope House could apply for that could help cover the costs?

My eyes darted down at my desk, stopping when they fell upon my calendar and the bright red STAFF MEETING that was written in red Sharpie marker.

Don't! My small subconscious voice snapped. Don't get involved any more than you already are. You're leaving as soon as this case is over. Why would you try to start up a new project when you're counting down the minutes until you can leave and-

I sat back up, once again pulling my laptop closer, and started typing.

Hi, Bree. Could you please allot some time for me to discuss the following topics at tomorrow's staff meeting?

XXX

My hand was being vigorously shaken by a plump man with a bristled mustache. I smiled at his enthusiasm but felt relieved when he finally released me.

"Fantastic ideas. All of them."

"Thank you, sir. I-"

"Oh, none of this Sir business. You can call me Don." He motioned for someone to come closer and I silently groaned when Edward sided up to him. "Edward, what would we be looking at to get some of these programs Bella mentioned up and running?"

When I had made the decision to put forth my ideas during the staff meeting last week I hadn't expected the board members attending to be so receptive. I hadn't planned on them insisting that I come to the next meeting and present a formal presentation for everyone. Thankfully, Jasper had been willing to step up and offer his services pro bono should they decide to move forward with the project. He'd stood beside me and gave a short summation about what could be offered and how he believed it would benefit the community. Having him in my corner was a tremendous help, especially since things were so strained between me and Edward. If Jasper resented acting as the go-between, he didn't show it.

"Well, I think the first thing to look at, after we reviewed the budget, would be to see what funding and grants might be available from the state." Edward shoved his hands into his pockets. "We would need to sit down and put pen to paper and figure out exactly how much we expected this cost and go from there."

They continued, discussing the pros and cons of building on to the existing building or buying new property, while I silently glanced around the room. I hadn't been this close to Edward in weeks and it was making me bundle of anxious nerves.

Why does he always smell so good? Stop it, Bella.

The pen I'd been holding was now being turned over and flipped between my sweaty fingers and palms.

But he does. He smells so good. Its been so long and…

Nope. Stop it.

"Bella, do you think you could help with that?"

I blinked and nodded blindly at Don's question. Edward's posture stiffended as I spoke.

"Great!" Don patted my shoulder. "So you and Edward sit down and get us the numbers. I would really like to get this in for a vote before we set the budget for next year. The sooner the better, right?"

What the hell had I just agreed to? My mouth fell slightly and I glanced up at Edward who was forcing a smile.

He shook Don's hand and managed to say, "Right."

XXX

"It will be fun! Just come hang out for like an hour!" Those were the words that Alice had used to try and convince me to join her, them, for happy hour after work. "Live music, cheap beer… is there anything better?"

So here I stood, still wearing my clothes from work, looking up at the bar that had been in Forks for as long as I could remember. It had been updated though, giving it a modern lodge feel, which was huge improvement. I watched through the big open windows as couples danced along to music from the band inside and other clusters of people stood in small groups. I recognized a few familiar faces- people I knew from high school- and of course spotted Alice and the rest of them easily through the crowd. Alice was talking animatedly with Rosalie, using her hands to punctuate her words, while Jasper looked on. Emmett and Edward were standing together, arms crossed across their chests, and looked to be discussing something serious. When I saw Edward crack a smile, and Emmett let out a huge laugh, I realized I was mistaken. Edward's grin got bigger as he playfully pushed on Emmett's shoulder. How long had it been since I'd seen him smile like that? Heard him laugh? Lately all I had seen was his mouth pulled into a tight line and his voice straining politeness when we were forced to engage with each other.

It was so strained, and awkward, that my body was perpetually stuck in a tense state of anxiety. We both had a job to do, and we knew that, but that didn't mean that either of us enjoyed being in each other's company. It was a bizarre feeling to be next to someone I'd known my whole life and be treated like a stranger. But wasn't this what I'd wanted? To not form an attachment? That would make it easier when I left.

My watch and phone both chimed at the same time, pulling me from my staring and moping, and I lifted my wrist to read a text from Alice.

Where are you?

Why had I agreed to come to this? Was I trying to make this worse for all of us?

Because you're lonely. Probably.

Because you truly miss being with Alice. That was true.

Because you miss Edward. Nope. I wouldn't admit to that. Not even to myself.

Because you love Edward. No.

Because you miss the way things used to be. No.

Because you want him to love you back. Enough!

I shook my head to stop the running tirade in my mind and headed my way inside the bar. I came tonight because Alice had asked me to. It was as simple as that.

After weaving my way between the dancing couples and groups of people standing around, I smiled when I had finally reached Alice and the rest of them.

"There you are!" She happily threw her arms around me, hugging me close to her. "I wasn't sure you'd come."

"Well, I told you I would." I sat down on one of the bar stools at the tall table. I shook my wrist to adjust my watch and looked down. "Happy hour isn't over for another thirty minutes."

Jasper patted my back before squeezing behind me. "I'll get you a drink. Beer?"

I nodded. "Whatever you're having. Thank you."

"So." Alice squirmed to get comfortable on the stool next time mine, grinning as she leaned into me. "How's it going? Edward was telling me about the new project. It sounds amazing! I know the two of you are working all the time now, right?"

My eyes darted to find Edward, he had moved further away and had his back to us. Numbly I nodded and looked back at Alice. "If we can get it all approved it will be a huge service you guys can provide to the community."

"We." Alice corrected me. "We can provide. You're a part of it, too. Even if you don't want to be."

Thankfully a beer was deposited in front of me and I was saved from having to reply. I took a long drink from the bottle, allowing Jasper to start up a new conversation with Alice. I sat there, listening and offering small contributions to the topics that were brought up, but it hadn't taken very long before I caught myself tracking Edward's movements across the room. My fingers tapped restlessly against the glass bottles that seemed to keep reappearing in front of me as the night went on.

"Is that Lauren Mallory?" I had meant for that to be a silent question I'd asked myself but Alice turned around to see who I was talking about. I had to loosen the grip I had on the bottle I was holding.

"Oh, yeah." She turned back around to face me. "I guess she's back in town. I figured Edward would have told me." She must have caught the look of confusion on my face because she continued without me asking. Her voice was lower, softer, as if she was trying to be gentle. "They dated… or… are dating. I don't know anymore. She comes in and out of town all the time to see her parents. When she is here they usually get together."

I felt my face fall and quickly tried to make it go back to the neutral expression I'd had all night.

Alice reached across the table to take my hand. "Oh, Bella. It isn't anything serious."

I shook my head, trying to force a smile and fake laugh. "It's ok, Alice. I mean, I'm happy that he has someone…"

Lies.

"But I do think I should get going. I have an early day tomorrow." I feigned looking down at my watch before grabbing my purse. "How much do I owe you for the beer, Jasper?"

"But tomorrow is Saturday." Alice protested as I dug my wallet out of my purse.

"I know but I have a lot I need to get done. Maybe we can go to brunch or something on Sunday." I quickly dropped folded bills on the table, ignoring Jasper telling me he didn't want my money, and quickly got up from the table. "Call me tomorrow, okay?"

I walked away, rudely ignoring Alice as she kept talking, but I had to get the hell out of here.

Lauren Mallory?

Sidestepping a large group of guys laughing I muttered an excuse me and slipped between two girls I faintly recognized.

Lauren Mallory? Really? After all this time he is dating Lauren Mallory? It was stupid, and spiteful, for me to feel this way. I hadn't spoken to Lauren since we were eighteen and I was entirely too old to hold a grudge against her. Who cared that she had always had a crush on Edward? Why was it any of my business? Why did I care? It wasn't like I hadn't dated anyone else. It wasn't like Edward was still my boyfriend. I had absolutely no claim over him.

But… Lauren Mallory? Out of everyone why was it her?

She was the girl who always got what she wanted. She was the popular, cool, girl who never really got over the fact that Edward Cullen had chosen me over her. Lauren was a constant bully, belittling anyone around her that she deemed unworthy, and absolutely had it out for me since I'd managed to get the one thing she couldn't have.

"Oh my gosh!" I left a hand grab my arm. "Bella?"

I stopped, looked up at my name being called and tried my absolute best to smile convincingly. "Lauren?" I knew exactly who she was, just like she knew who I was. The surprise act was entirely for show.

"It is you!" She squealed loudly. I halfheartedly hugged her back and grinned when she held me at arm's length to look me over. "You look absolutely beautiful!"

I looked past her shoulder and straight at Edward who was behind her watching our interaction.

"Oh, Bella." Lauren let go of my upper arms only to grab ahold of my hands. "I was so sorry to hear about your mom. When Edward told me-"

"You know," I interrupted. "Thank you so much but I've got to get going. It was nice to see you."

She looked taken aback. "Oh… ok. Well maybe we can get together while we are both in town."

I muttered a noncommittal mm hmm before turning on my heels and leaving. My face was absolutely on fire and was sure to be past a small blush of embarrassment and onto a full flush from my hairline to my neck. I hadn't noticed it had started to rain until I'd roughly pushed open the doors that led out to the dark parking lot. The cooler temperatures cooled the heat radiating from under my skin but it did very little to calm the angry boil that filled my chest.

How could he?! I asked myself. How could he possibly talk someone like Lauren Mallory about my mother?!

"Bella."

I ignored him as I fished in my purse for my keys.

"Bella," Edward said again, more forceful this time.

I still refused to look at him. "What?"

He didn't answer so, with keys in my hands, I hurried down the stairs and out into the wet parking lot. My heels sunk into the mud, slowing me down and allowing enough time for Edward to catch up with me before I could get into my mother's car.

"Stop." Edward grabbed my hand, pulling me around to look at him. "Stop and talk to me, Bella."

I yanked away from him but even after I'd managed to get my arm back, he was standing so close to me that all I could do was lean back against the door of the car to get away from him. "Talk to you?" I practically yelled at him. The rain was picking up and I brushed the droplets off of my face. "It's been weeks since you've said more than five words to me! And now, now, how you want to talk?"

"What is wrong with you?"

Laughing at his ridiculous question, I shook my head. "Wrong with me? Absolutely nothing! I was perfectly fine and then you with Lauren-"

Although it was dark the few lights that littered the parking lot was enough for me to see the look of absolute shock that covered Edward's face when I said her name. It was like a light had come on inside his eyes. He interrupted me, smiling as he said, "You're jealous."

I immediately started shaking my head, glaring at him. "What the hell do I have to be jealous about?"

"Admit it." He moved closer, pinning me against the side of the car. I tried to push him away but Edward took my wrists in his hands, holding them against his chest, as he kept leaning in. "You're jealous."

"No, I'm not." I shook my head, watching as raindrops clung to his eyelashes. He was so close that I could feel his breath on my forehead. "There isn't a reason I..." His lips were just inches from mine now as leaned down over me. I wasn't sure if it was the rain that was making me shiver or the fact that I could feel every single inch of Edward's body pressed against me. His breath came out in an even rhythm, falling against my mouth. I could taste him. "I'm not."'

Instinctively my body reached up to his but as I reached forward for his mouth, to finally connect with them, he inched backwards.

"Admit it," he said in a whisper.

No. No. I wasn't jealous. What did I have to be jealous of? He wasn't mine… I shouldn't care.

"Bella." Another whisper against my lips.

Don't. Don't admit it. Just walk away. Just get in the car and…

"I'm jealous."

Edward's hands let go of mine just as our lips made contact. They gently cradled my face which was a stark contrast to how greedy and rough our kisses were. I held his bottom lips between my teeth as his fingers slipped down to my neck, then over my shoulders. When they reached my hips what little breath I had was coming out in short gasps between kisses. He tugged me closer but there was no empty space between us.

A million jumped thoughts ran through my mind as he roughly pulled at the bottom hem of my skirt. Once he'd managed to get it high enough, he lifted one of my legs, hitching it over his thigh as his hand squeezed the back of my thigh.

Should we be doing this? In a parking lot of all places? Things were already so fucking complicated and now this? It was a bad idea… this whole thing…

But even if all these doubts were crowding my thoughts my body didn't recognize it. I pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around his neck. I moaned into his mouth as he pushed himself into me. I let my fingers wind themselves through the back of his hair. The two of us were totally lost in the haze of lust that hung around us. It wasn't until a car honked, not at us but near us, that I finally made myself break apart from his lips. Even then, Edward didn't stop. He moved to my neck before lifting me higher, giving him access to my chest. Through the wet fabric I could feel his lips as they gently moved over my collarbone.

Someone playfully yelling and laughing only a few feet from us was all it took for the spell to be broken. We both stopped, panting as we came to the realization about where we were, and Edward slowly let me slide down his body until both of my feet touched back on the ground.

"Hurry!" A girl yelled as she ran across the parking lot towards the bar. A few guys ran behind her, trying to avoid the rain, but none of them even noticed us.

"We…" I tried to catch my breath but it was so hard when he was standing so close to me. "What are we doing?" I shook my head, pulling my skirt back down. "Edward… we can't do this."

"Why?" He shook his head. "Why can't we?I want this… I want to be with you."

I avoided meeting his eyes "No you don't. How could you?"

Edward took a small step away from me when I leaned down to pick up my keys. I still couldn't look at him but the tone of his voice was enough to tell me what his expression would be.

"What are you doing? Bella."

I had managed to get inside and shut the door without having to face him. When I put the car in drive, and slowly inched forward, I saw him turn away from me from the corner of my eye.

While driving back to my mother's house I tried to convince myself that I was right. He didn't want this. He didn't want me. How could he? We couldn't go back down a road that would only lead to heartache and resentment. I would leave. He would stay here. We both had to realize that this wasn't good for either one of us.

I pulled into the driveway to Renee's house, turned off the car, and started stuffing the few files I had brought home into my bag. I was nearly done when a car pulled in behind me. I squinted as I looked in my review mirror and then quickly opened the car door when I saw Edward get out and walk towards me.

"What are you doing?" He didn't answer me, only took the keys from my hand. "Edwar-"

"Not out here." His voice was short and cold. "Go inside."

I heard him lock the car and as he walked back up the sidewalk to unlock the front door. The keys jingled together as he roughly turned them and then he pushed open the door.

"In." He motioned for me go inside first, which I did, and then he shut and locked the door behind him. I sat my bag down as he roughly tossed the keys on the table next to him.

"I don't want to fight with-"

He took a step closer before covering my mouth. He let out a long breath before he spoke. "I need you to listen to me because I'm only saying this once. Do you understand?"

I nodded.

"This is the last time I'm chasing after you."

His hand dropped from my mouth and he took another step towards me, our chests now inches apart.

"You keep running and I keep chasing after you but I'm done, Bella. I want you. I want this." He motioned his hand between us. "So you decide, right here, what you want."

"Edward…" My voice was hardly more than a whisper.

Ask him to leave. Tell him you can't do this. Remind him of the fact that we'd both tormented each other enough. There was no way that we could be…

"Tell me, Bella. Now."

"How can you possibly want to do this? Look at what we've done to each other, Edward! How much more can either one-"

"I want an answer," He stopped me. "The past is the past- it is over. I want to know, right now, if you're going to keep running away from me- from this. Because if you are then I'm done. I will be civil, I will work on whatever we have to for Hope House, but outside of that I'm completely done."

With my heart aching, and my hands shaking, I reached for his face, pulling his lips to mine. He leaned down into me as my fingers found their way to the back of his hair and ever so gently picked me up to hold me against him.

"You," I raggedly whispered against his mouth between kisses. "I want you."