Sara spun the small blade around and around in her hands, her eyes held captive by the light gleaming and bouncing of the metal. Such a small thing could do so much damage, if only she would let it.

Placing the tip of the blade against her finger, she felt a confusing mix of emotions wash over her as the pressure built up, close to, but not quite breaking the skin.

Hearing noise coming from just outside her hospital room door, she quickly snapped the blade closed and hid it under her pillow, turning her body away from the door once more.

Jennifer stepped into the room, taking a quick note of the read outs on the machine 'Sara…' she called out gently 'We'd really like it if you tried to eat something now you're awake… is there anything specific that you'd like to try?'

Sara still had her back turned away from the nurse, but she shook her head no slightly, before moving her head to see Jennifer 'I did try…'

'I know you did, but when you burn a hell of a lot more calories than you put in… you can't run a car without fuel, you can't expect to run a body without fuel either, understand?' she asked, her voice gentle, as she checked Sara's I.V bag, and then placed a hand on her shoulder.

Sara nodded, biting her bottom lip 'Can I get one of those protein shakes?' she asked, voice quiet.

'Yeah, of course you can, vanilla, strawberry or banana?'

'Vanilla, please' Sara smiled gratefully, as Jennifer started to leave the room 'Jennifer…' she called out just as the nurse reached the door

'Yes sweetheart?'

'Maybe I could have an apple too?'

Xxx

Brass hung up the phone, sighing he ran his fingers through his hair. The phone call he had just received left him feeling conflicted.

Felix's drug dealer had been found, and was on the way to the police station. Although he hadn't formally been interviewed yet, when Detective Vartann had tracked him down and picked him up, he had shown the dealer, Matthew King a photo of Felix, inadvertently flashing a photo of Sara at the same time.

Matthew was either stupid or big headed, and it hadn't taken him long to confess that he was a small time drug dealer. What had surprised Vartann however was the fact he wanted to make a deal, even before being formally charged, questioned, and arrested.

Matthew claimed that he had dealt Felix cocaine on several occasions in the past few months. He also claimed that he had dealt directly to Sara on at least 3 occasions, the last time being a matter of hours before she had fatally stabbed her brother.

Brass was getting a headache, and he knew it wouldn't leave him anytime soon.

Xxx

When Catherine returned back to the hospital later that evening, she was pleasantly surprised to see Sara sat in a chair by the window, her arm free from the I.V drip

'Hey…' she called out softly

'Hi…' Sara turned her head slightly, before turning her attention back to the window, the knife once again playing in her hand.

'Greg said he came over…'

'Yeah… yeah, be bought grapes'

'That's good…' Catherine stepped further into the room, perching on the edge of the bed 'The doctor seems pleased, says you've recovered enough to be discharged sometime tomorrow, after lunch…'

'Yeah…' Sara sighed, spinning the knife once more, before closing it 'I don't know if I want to go home just yet…'

'Oh…' Catherine tried to hide her disappointment. She knew Sara was struggling with a lot of things right now, but she hadn't for one instance thought that the brunette would want to voluntarily stay at the hospital either.

'Well, if you'd rather stay here…'

'I don't know what I want right now' Sara admitted quietly 'Greg gave me this…' she held out her hand, offering Catherine the blade.

'Oh…' Catherine struggled to find the words, flipping the blade in her own hands

'He left me with a choice. Eat, or Die. Basically he told me if I was planning on starving myself to death not to bother, but to use the knife instead. It would be quicker. Easier. He has a point.' Sara sighed once more, and turned to look at Catherine properly for the first time since she had entered the room.

'I don't want to die; I just want all of this to be over. I'm just struggling with how to get there. I ate an apple today. I didn't use the knife. I think that's the only victory I can hope for at the moment. Maybe tomorrow it will be the other way round… I hope it won't be, but I can barely see an hour from now…' Sara turned away again 'I'm sorry I'm being so difficult' she mumbled, once again scratching at her arms 'Brass phoned… he umm…. He needs to speak to me at PD as soon as I leave here…' Sara trailed off again

'But you don't want to leave here' Catherine filled in for her

'No… Yes… I don't know… I don't know what I need right now'

'You need to heal'

'Yeah…' Sara shook her head 'It's just harder this time. It's so… public… I've always coped by myself before…'

'Perhaps that's the trouble, you've always been by yourself before, so when you've stumbled you've had no one to pick you up. But you're not alone now Sara, you don't have to struggle by yourself anymore. I know it must be difficult having so much of your life exposed like it has been, but you don't have to heal alone. I'm not going anywhere' Catherine explained, her voice quiet, her hand now rubbing soothing circles on Sara's back 'Ok, I'm not going anywhere'

Sara nodded, wiping a tear away, before turning and leaning into Catherine's embrace.

Xxx

Brass walked into the interrogation room, Vartann close behind him 'Mr King, I'm Detective Brass; this is Detective Vartann, whom you met earlier. We need to ask you some questions. Would you like a lawyer or attorney here?'

'No thanks' Matthew shook his head

'Are you sure, you are within your right, and you have been bought in on drug charges?' Brass asked again

'I'm sure' Matthew assured them, a cocky smile on his face.

'Very well. We've found evidence that you've dealt drugs to a Felix Sidle, specifically cocaine.'

'Yeah, I'm not denying that, I told the other detective that when he picked me up'

'Why did you admit to it so easily?'

'Because I knew who his sister was. I tried to scam him once, but he cottoned on, told me his sister was a cop… that I best not do it again. He was a good, regular customer, I wasn't going to let him go elsewhere, or turn me in. We had an understanding.'

'That doesn't explain why you admitted to dealing so easily'

'Sure it does, I heard that he'd died on the news, knew you'd probably track me down eventually… knew I had the power to make a deal. I will give up MY dealers for immunity, and for the information I have on his sister, Sara. I dealt to her too you know. Imagine that, a dirty cop in your ranks, and you never even knew' his cocky smile grew bigger.

'Really?' Brass and Vartann exchanged a look, before focusing their attention on King once more

'Yeah. Last time I dealt her, was the day Felix died, like I already told your buddy over here.'

'Ok, so can you give us any more details? Was she high at the time, coming down from a high… any other details?'

'It was just gone noon. She met me on the corner of Westbridge, by the coffee shop. Bought a gram. Saw her get into a silver Prius and drive off again. She didn't talk, she never did'

'How do you know she was Sara Sidle then?' Vartann asked

'I saw her with Felix a few times when he was buying, normally she'd wait in the car.'

'And you're sure it was the same person?'

'Yeah…' Matthew frowned a little 'White lady, mid-length brown hair, same car… I mean, how many Prius do you think I see in my neighbourhood?'

'Do you always deal from the same place?'

'Nah, don't be stupid, no good dealer does that anymore'

'So how do the buyers know where to find you?'

'Ah, see, that's the clever part. I have a lot of friends on friend-agenda, some real, some buyers… when I'm at my spot for the day, I post a selfie with my location, something along the lines of 'Enjoying coffee at the park' or 'Beautiful view at the park today' I wait around for two, three hours tops, sell what I can, then move on. It's a beautiful system'

'Ok, that is genius' Brass conceded, smiling a little despite the situation 'I have a question though. We've spoken to Sara, who trust me, has a lot to lose if she lies, she said she has no idea where to find you or who you are. She knew her brother was taking coke, but she claims to have no idea about who her brother's dealer was. Could you explain that one to me?'

'Yeah, she's a cop; she's lying to cover her ass'

'Actually, she's a criminalist, one of the best in the states, and she's a very very dear friend of mine. Are you sure you don't want to revise your statement? You want a deal, fine, tell me the truth about your involvement with the Sidle siblings and where you get your supply from, and perhaps we can keep you out of jail… keep lying and you'll be put in the same prison block as your dealers, and well… imagine how they will feel when they know you're the reason their now behind bars… We'll leave you to think for a while' Brass stood up at the same time as Vartann, and without another word they both left the room.

Xxx

A/n Progress is being made, but will it help?