Notes :
First fic in english (not my main language) so if you find any mistakes, tell me.
Warnings : Angst, physical damage, despair, hurt...
Summary : Lilith faces her worse fear...
OK this one contain 'details' of what happened to Lilith, her mother and the first host and it's not good... Clearly, if you have issues with rape and abuse, stop here... There's not much details but I talk about it...
What happened ?
(Lilith's POV)
Everything was black, no sounds, no feelings, nothing. She couldn't even feel her body. Where was she ? What had happened ? The last thing she had in mind was...
V... We... We argued...
She tried to move but it didn't worked... Wait, where was her body ? Where were her hands ? Why couldn't she even open her eyes ? Where her eyes already open ? Was she blind ?
She tried to scream but no sound came out of her mouth, she didn't had a mouth ! What was going on !
What's happening to me ?! Where's my body... Am I... Dead ?
She remembered the streets, right after the small argument with the poet, the pentacle on the floor, the sudden feeling of being pulled out of her skin...
Is that how it end ? Is that how being dead is ? Nothingness ? Just my thoughts floating around ? Why ? I don't want that... It can't be...
She still could feel the sadness, the bitterness of tasting what it was to be loved and yet not being able to truly experience it...
I couldn't even told him... I don't want to go... I can't leave him... What's going to happen to him... I... I want to go back... And Lekha... Nuiid... They need me... I can't let them die... Please... I don't want to die...
She heard someone shout out her name, it sounded so far away, muffled, as if multiple layers of thick fabric were covering everything around her. The voice was familiar but she couldn't tell who it was...
She tried to move again, to do anything but it occurred to her she hadn't her body anymore, all that remained of her was her thoughts. It scared her, had she the possibility to do so, she could have cried, but she couldn't, instead, her mind did the only think left, analyzing.
She was still conscious for now, rational and all her memories were there, a bit fuzzy but still there. Lilith couldn't scream, cry, walk or anything that asked the use of a body and the place she found herself in was in total darkness. Lekha and Nuiid were not with her from what she could feel but the link was still there, meaning they were still alive. And if she listened carefully, the same voice was still calling out her name, less powerful and more desperate but there.
Who's calling me ? ...That voice... I know it... It hurt...
Whoever possessed that voice made her heart ache even if she hadn't her heart right now. She knew that person very well and hearing the desperation in that tone broke her.
"Don't leave me... Sparrow... Lilith... Come back"
Light pierced through the darkness, from one tiny hole in the ceiling, not enough for a person to pass through but enough for her to see through it. Her own body held by tattoed arms, glowing veins visible where her clothings where not covering her skin, she wasn't moving, head lulling, lifeless...
Wait... That's me ! That's my body ! But how ? I am on the ground ! V ! I am...
A hand reached for the "her" that was on the ground, blocking her sight and everything went black again. Throbbing pain followed by lightning hit her the next instant and the connection with her body came back. She could feel her birds, both fine, her heart racing, air battling to enter her lungs, V's voice calling her name, Griffon shouting something followed by the team's scream then it stopped.
She fell, hitting something soft and solid at the same time, the warmth of V's body against hers felt good, calming, reassuring... But something was off. She felt him help her sat on the floor, her eyes still closed, pain flowing through her body but it was like someone else was in it...
She heard him question her, brushing his hand on her cheek but it wasn't her who answered. It was another one... Lilith felt it now, even more when Lady tried to touch the girl a few moment later.
"Don't touch it !"
It was her own voice yet it sounded so different in her head... Or wherever she was now. The voice was beautiful, melodic... Like the one in her visions lately...
The first sorceress ?! How is that possible ?!
Lilith stared at the scene in front of her, the look in V's eyes when the sorceress pushed him away, revealing him she wasn't the gentle witch anymore...
No ! Don't hurt him ! Please...
Griffon had seen it, the demonic bird had seen that the girl in front of them wasn't Lilith anymore, he had seen the other woman and the gentle witch swore he could see her right now with how he was staring at her...
She couldn't believe what was happening. She had been expelled from her own body to be replaced by another soul...
"She's gone. Her soul is gone, to be precise, replaced by mine. I am the Sorceress that gave her family their power."
She had been replaced... But she wasn't gone ! Her soul was still there, maybe not for long but still there...
What can I do ? I don't have my body... And I don't know any soul's spell... Not to mention the power it ask for that...
She focussed on the possibilities at hand, keeping an eye and ear on what was happening on the other side of the hole. She saw them argued about something, Dante and Nero leaving, using their devil trigger to fly to somewhere she couldn't see. She knew Dante was half demon but never thought Nero was the same...
I knew he and Dante knew each other from the events of the Order of the Sword but... Does it really matter ?
It didn't. Nero was a good guy, a bit rough and swearing a lot but kind with a big heart, truly in love with Kyrie. Lilith was glad she had found other persons that knew the poet that didn't ignored him, the boy had appeared a bit harsh at first but it quickly disappeared. Lilith knew they had met during the Qliphoth's event, they had traveled together to help Dante on the job...
She heard the first sorceress speak about the necromancer's preparations while they were training and resting. He had sacrificed people, killed them to gain more power and repair the black magic's damage, but his body was still falling appart, images from the other sorceress's mind came to her, showing her everything that happened while she was sleeping in the summoner's arms, kissing him, having good time with him...
People were suffering and I was having fun...
'Stop that !' A powerful voice echoed into her darkness, 'You're pissing me off. Are you gonna continue beating yourself for someone else's actions ? You needed to heal, you needed to train, you needed some peace. Stop that bullshit and get up !'
I don't have a body, you have mine...
The voice sighed, 'Don't you have a flourished imagination ? This darkness is your mind, what you see is what your brain created, think of a cup of tea, go ahead.'
She didn't answered, looking through the tiny whole where she could see her poet, alone, following the group with his familiar, head low... He looked so sad, the demonic bird perched on his shoulders pocking his head from time to time, sighing, scolding him.
'I'm waiting.' The voice echoed again.
The ground beneath her feet suddenly shook, the landscape changing back to normal, no more maze, just a dense forest with two rows of trees forming a big circle and an arch in the middle. The sorceress was in V's arms, both of them on the ground but Lady and Trish were nowhere...
What happened ! Where are they !
She heard Griffon ask the same question and the first sorceress answer vaguely that they may be somewhere else on the archipelago.
"That's not important."
What ?! How can you !
She focussed on her body, searching for any clue that could help her. She could see every wound on her own body, the glowing veins spreading over the skin, Lekha's spirit, Nuiid's stalemate, the imposter's soul.
There you are !
She saw her, blond wavy hair, bright blue eyes showing surprise as her own hands grabbed her, resoluted to hurt, to make her regret her words.
'Well, that's not a cup of tea.' The sorceress laughed, 'But you got the idea. Now, learn your place, Sweetie.'
Lilith felt a sharp pain ran through her even though she had no body, sending her back in her darkness where her tiny hole seemed to have grow bigger.
She grunted and got back to her feets, watching the poet stare at her with narrowed eyes, hearing him speak about the necklace around her neck.
Legs ? I got my body back ? How ? ... Nevermind.
She put her hand on her neck feeling the same necklace she had seen on her mother's picture, around his neck while she was fighting him... The little diamond shaped jewel was slightly shining, cold to the touch, vibrating in her hand.
What is that ? When did it get on me ?
She didn't get any answer, the other sorceress was too busy with the poet. Lilith felt rage rush through her as she heard the older witch speak to her lover coldly.
Don't you dare hurt him !
She focussed on the older's soul again, forcing her to push the little witch away again with a shockwave, more powerful this time. Lilith hardly stood up, hearing Griffon shouting something to V. She crumbled on the cold floor as the ground was pulled from her feets, V's face showing nothing but rage, the feeling of his cane pressing on her ribcage, blocking her arms.
The older sorceress's comment made her blood boil, sounding like she was flirting with the dark haired man who tried to silence her, his tone glacial, his cane hurting her. "...you know nothing about her."
"I know more about her than you think."
Stop that ! Leave him !
Lilith couldn't move, even if she knew she wasn't trapped by V's gripp, she couldn't move.
"Go ahead, destroy the only way to reach the mountain faster, to save your girlfriend's soul. Or more funny, hurt me while I'm still providing life in her body, break her only chance to ever come back."
Stop it ! Please... Stop hurting him... He doesn't deserve it !
"Those little protection can handle a lot, but I'm sure you wouldn't take the risk of marking her yourself like he did."
Don't say that ! He's not like him !
The little witch tried to move again, focussing on her own thoughts when the ground shook again, the feeling of her body landing on the ground as she registered that the arch had broke under the pressure. Looking back at the hole in her prison, she froze.
V was hunched over her body, over her staff, visibly hurt as the first sorceress leaned forward to whispers into his ear.
How could you !
Her power ran through her veins, fire and ice melting together with something even more powerful, helping her find the damned woman's soul easier, grabbing it with strength and forcing her to back off. The glowing veins on her body pulsated slightly with her action, distracting her for a second, enough for the other sorceress to push her away again, back to her prison.
'Stop with that, little witch. I don't want to hurt you.' The voice was cold, harsh and angry.
Stop hurting him and I'll stop that.
She didn't get the answer but didn't care. V knew. He knew she was there ! He had tried to take the necklace, earning a warning from the first sorceress that displeased both the poet and Lilith but he knew.
'Your little play had almost killed you, you know.' The first host spoke again as they walked through the forest in silence. 'Would he had took the necklace from me, you would have been trapped here forever.'
Why did you need to hurt him ? Why can't you just talk to him ? Without being harsh, I mean.
'Not your business. Too late now. He knows. Better keep your energy for the moment you'll break free from the spell. I can break it from the outside but you need to break it from the inside too. I'll tell you what to do in due time.'
Lilith stared at the landscape for a moment, watching the trees passing by, V's face expressionless, Griffon's glance from time to time.
Can he see me ?
'Animals have a thing with spirits, they can feel them, probably see them if they are strong enough but I don't know about demonic ones. I doubt he can see through that necklace. It has been poured with black magic, strong one. At least he might feel your presence.'
The rest of the trip through the forest seemed to last forever, the silence was maddening her and even if she called for the older sorceress, Lilith didn't get any reply. She could see more of the landscape through the hole, as if it was opening more bits by bits every minutes, they had reached the small beach showing others island nearby, separated by the sea, too deep to swim but calm enough to travel it with a small boat if they had one.
The sorceress felt a wave of guilt rush through her, coming from the older one as she was gazing upon the broken bridge. Lilith had heard a legend about it telling that a powerful sorceress destroyed all the bridges of the archipelago with one single spell, right after a fight with another mage...
Did you destroyed those bridges ?
The answer came out loud, gaining a suspicious look from the avian familiar and when she heard the reason of it, Lilith froze, not sure if she really had heard it correctly.
He ? You mean... He ?
No answers. And Griffon's questions didn't help her. Even if Lilith's father had found the first sorceress's soul by chance, how could she know him that much ? It felt like she knew him from much more longer than that... Which was impossible... Right ? Lilith's father was... as old as Dante probably... She didn't really know and never asked considering her past with him but he was using black magic so... Could he be a bit older ?
Nothing would surprise me anymore with him...
'Really ?'
It didn't sounded good in Lilith's ears but she couldn't anything anymore. She was trapped in a crystal, uncertain about her fate, without any way to interact with the world outside from the necklace and the only company she had was the first sorceress's soul that knew a lot of things about her and her father...
She watched the icy bridge formed, worried about Nuiid's condition but V knew her better, asking it before the little witch. It warmed her to hear him talk about her that way, if only she wasn't trapped here... Sadness took over her for a moment, her own, and she fought the urge to sit down and cry. She wanted to feel his touch again on her face, his gaze on her, being held in his arms...
'Stop it. If we made it in time, you'll be able to do that again.' The older sorceress didn't sounded annoyed this time, more winded as if something was draining her.
Sorry... I... I miss him. I can see him, I can hear him but...
'I know the feeling. Focus on gathering your power, you'll need it. No matter what you hear or see, keep focussing. Hear me ?'
Lilith accepted, what else could she do anyway ? All she could do was watch them as they finally reached the misty island. She remembered the mist, it had always intrigued her, it wasn't something natural, more magical, mythical even.
Was it already there when you came here ?
She didn't get her answer as V gathered the attention by pointing another arch on the beach nearby, similar as the one from the forest, broken too but with blood and pentacle everywhere.
Well... I'm glad we didn't pass through it.
"It seems I prevent us from a lot of trouble. You really thought he would have let you use it without any trap ? Or maybe was that your intention ? Maybe you work for him ?"
She both liked his tone and not. Griffon was right, he had a arrogant side.
But something made him change, his smirk dropping suddenly, his brows furrowed and eyes darkened. He looked angry for some reason.
"You still don't trust me at all, don't you ?" Her own voice was so provocative, the way she felt her body move, Lilith didn't like it at all, "But all you do is speak. You talk, talk but when it comes to act, you run like a coward."
V's face hurted her, Lilith was raging inside, hearing the words coming out of her own lips, with her own voice... But it wasn't her...
Stop it !
"Right now, who is protecting her ? Not you, I can tell that. All you do is beating yourself and doubting the only chance to get her back. I wonder why she choose you ?"
I said stop it !
"Why you especially ? You need the help of demons, can't fight yourself, not to mention your lacking in physics..."
STOP IT !
She rushed the older soul again, not caring to be hurt in return, not caring if she was losing her focus on her own power. She had asked her to stop that, more than once, and she was resolute to punish her. Her words were terrible, she didn't know the man's story, hadn't any right to bully him, to hurt the man Lilith loved.
The little witch felt the birds confusion, their power still there but faded, as if they were asleep or both in stalemate. The glowing veins were not as bright as she remembered, the warmth of the sand filtering through her pant, the stone in her hand, so cold...
Then she violently hit the floor, pushed through her prison again, howling as the pain seemed to reopen some of her oldest wounds. There wasn't any blood, she was just a soul after all, but it hurted like hell.
No... Even more...
'I warned you ! Stop doing that ! The spell isn't broken yet ! Next time you'll die stupid brat !'
Lilith didn't heard what she told the poet but felt his cane on her collarbone.
Please, don't fight... None of you...
His tone was so cold it hurted her, she knew it wasn't directed to her but still it hurted. She needed to hear his warm tone, his honeyed voice, low, like a purr... She needed comfort... But comfort wasn't coming, the end of the summoner's cane scratched her skin as the sorceress mocked him.
"I have nothing to lose here, I might even gain a new body and a new life. You, on the other side... You'll lose her."
Please stop with that... I love him... Don't hurt him... I can't take it...
"And don't expect me to replace her. Unlike her, I don't like you. The one I ever loved is gone and I will never replace him."
The vision came back to her mind, a bit clearer, the afternoon tea, the man dead on the grass, the sorrow... The older man with the ring...
That ring...
Her body heated as she felt him pressed her against him with a strength she hadn't ever see from him. Wasn't it for the situation, she would have cried. She wanted to be in his arms right now and not a hurt soul caged in a stupid jewel. His words ended her heart.
"I don't care about your help, must I split myself again, must I sell my soul, I'll do everything I can to bring her back."
Don't ! I don't want to lose you !
"She's everything to me, and if you loved someone like you just said, you should understand that feeling. I don't intend on replacing her, she's unique and all I want."
V...
If she still had her heart, she swore it would have stopped. The sensation of his body faded and cold replaced it. This time she cried, her fake body hunching over itself, unreal tears falling from her eyes. She missed the next exchange but not really cared, his words had made her feel so good, so warm, so needed...
'If you felt so needed. Stop crying and stand up. I can't heal you. The spell is getting stronger and I need my energy to break it.'
She stayed silent for a long time, not moving from her spot, letting her fake body heal itself. Listening to them while they climbed the first row of stairs. Sitting and gathering her forces back when she heard the sorceress speak again, ready to learn her story as well.
As the sorceress spoke, Lilith could see images appear in front of her and when the image of the rich man showed, even if he had changed with the years, Lilith recognized him. His cold eyes, fake smile, always looking down on people, that ring...
That's...
'Your father... Yes... He's very old. That's why he's that powerful, why he could mastered those soul's spell...'
Lilith was shocked, her father was an old mage, a very old one. He had lost his wife and became a dark mage because he couldn't accept her death...
Where it all began... That's why he chose this place ? Because that's where you lived ? The fact that I was born here is just a coincidence then ?
'Nothing is a coincidence with him, you know that better than anyone else.' The voice was weak and sad.
Hearing that the warlock had tried to kill the sorceress didn't surprised her, neither when she spoke of how people reacted over their power, witches and wizards were always outcast when not needed, feared or admired.
'His son was different...'
The feeling behind her voice as she spoke of him, how they met and begin to work together, the old sorceress loved the man. Her brother... Lilith had had a brother... In a way... His image was still blurry, but something hit her. The young mage's eyes.
He had...
'Golden eyes like you...'
They looked happy, working together, helping the villagers, drinking tea... It tilted in Lilith's head too, they were similar to the couple in those vision, V and her. Day and night, completing each other, same and different at the same time, always looking for the other...
Yes, not whole without the other...
But the old sorceress's love story didn't last long. Her lover was poisoned by his own father, not intentionally it seemed but the dark mage didn't even flinched as the young mage laid on the floor, his cup of tea broken, eyes wide open, looking straight at the dark mage...
He knew... He had known...
'The cup was mine, Lilith.' She thought she heard a sob but is was so faint she wasn't sure.
The young witch watched them stop for a second, close enough to the top that they could see and ear the battle between Dante, Nero and the necromancer, lightnings flashing all around the sky through the mist but she wasn't paying attention. Her father's actions were already terrible from what she knew, the story of the first sorceress was making it worse... And her instincts were telling her that she only was seeing the top of the iceberg.
The fight between the dark mage and the sorceress hadn't last long but was quite epic, Lekha's potential, the desperation filling the air, the sacrifice of the young man... She had won that day, won the battle but lost the man she loved, his body trapped in eternal ice for eternity as a reminder. She had beaten herself for that, for not being able to listen to her instinct and throw away the tea before it was too late... For not being able to save him.
"I've tried to brought him back using Lekha's power but... It didn't worked... It only brought back his power, that's how Nuiid's was 'born'... He's what's left of the one I loved... The glowing veins appeared right after that... I broke myself too much, even Lekha couldn't heal me... The more he tried, the more I broke... I was slowly dying..."
Nuiid's birth saddened Lilith, she had always thought he was like the bright bird... His story was so tragic... This whole story was tragic.
Lilith got her attention back on them as V asked for the glowing veins. She had been so worry about it, thinking she was dying too... But in the end it wasn't the case. It was just another ability of hers, the same as the necromancer's son... Her brother...
Why are we so... similar... We don't have the same mother so... Does it means...
She hated the idea of getting something, even positive, from the man that was supposed to be her father. She hated him, even more now that she knew how terrible he had been...
She didn't get any answers, perhaps the old sorceress hadn't any. But seeing the big mansion with it's open door, Lilith felt a wave of uneasiness rush through her, more powerful when the soul inside her body commanded them to get inside to get her back.
Is it really needed ?
No answers again but she could hear them correctly. Arguing about the sorceress's intentions, the questions left without answers...
"I'll answer it, let me go before it's too late. She's fading !"
What ? No ! I'm... I'm still there ! Hey !
She watched the poet grab her body while using shadow, his face so serious, rushing to the open doors and stopping right in front of them, peeking inside to make sure there was no demon before stepping in.
No ! Don't let him in !
She tried her best to stop her body from moving, feeling it kneel.
"Stop that ! There's no point !"
I don't want him to see it ! Please !
"I... I need his help..."
Lilith knew the moment her body had stepped on the front door, she had seen everything inside, right before them. Same as before, same as in her nightmares, in both vision and reality... But Griffon messed up with his big mouth, driving V's attention to the blood on the floor, her blood...
'This is it... Focus Lilith. It is time.' The voice was weak and Lilith had to really pay attention to it. 'Once I began my part, you have to do the same. Just repeat the same words, trace the same symbol on the ground under your feets and don't move away from it. Never.'
She saw her body approach the bloody floor, it had dried with the ashes of the man the young witch had killed. Faintly noticeable in it, she could see the previous casted spell.
"You asked me why I would help her get her body back, what I could gain from it..."
'Lilith, remember when I told you that no matter what you see or hear, you need to focus ? That's it... Take this as a fuel to get out of here because you won't like it...'
Ready or not, Lilith had no other choice but to follow the orders as she saw the sorceress stepping in the middle of the old spell. Images flooding in front of her the next instant, emphasizing the words she could hear...
"Freedom... And peace... He did the same things to me, to her mother and to her... Though this time, for her... He used someone else... I wonder why... "
Lilith wanted to scream, feeling sick as she saw him with the older witch, in the same place, on the same floor, doing the same things she had endured... Then her mother... Not once, not twice but three time... And when it came to her... It wasn't him but her mother's best friend... Doing the same things, same gestures, same torture... Lilith had just a bonus with the sword in the stomach...
'you didn't had only a brother... You could have had more... She just could only save you...'
It make her feel even more sick, wanting nothing more than throw up but she wasn't going to move, her anger was stronger, her power boiling inside her as she stood there, tears falling from her eyes, waiting for the other sorceress to trace the pentacle. He would pay for that.
"If he was scared of being a father again he..."
Stop ! Don't tell him that !
The older soul whispered "You'll have to tell him that one day..."
Please !
"Fine. I won't say it."
They both began to trace the pentacle, Lilith hoping V would not ask about this till a good moment, she wasn't ready... Not now... Not after hearing and seeing those things...
The pentacle wasn't hard to do, the symbol a bit tricky but she did it, mirroring perfectly the one she could see under her feets, hearing the sorceress talk about how she had tried to heal herself till the end, the vision of her body naked with those potions showing up again, telling the little witch that Lekha's memories had been altered to not hurt him, that she had wrote all her knowledge about her power and the bird's in a grimoire hidden with the man she loved before the last thread of sanity broke and lead her to the dark mage, begging for help...
How cruel he had been, but she didn't care, telling that she deserved it as she had cursed him right after the young man's death, a brutal curse, the one that was keeping him alive till now. He wouldn't find peace till a new host for both the bird was born. That curse had only maddening him more, cursing Lilith's family that hosted the phoenix to make her pay and watch them die one by one till the end.
Lilith didn't know what to think of that and hadn't the time, hearing the spell being shouted, repeating the same words perfectly, surprising herself at how easy it was for her to understand the words and shout them too.
The whole frame around her blurred, a flashing light followed by a powerful pain before bringing back the darkness as she lose all her senses again.