I know it's been a wait! But here's the next one, as promised.
Rivulets of darkened clouds rolled lazily across the murky sky, hiding the last night stars from sight. Dawn was fast approaching, its light about to break in the east, announced by the chorus of spring birds all around.
Minato sighed, eyes wandering aimlessly over it all, as he had been doing for the past two hours, lying on the rooftop of his house. He had hardly slept.
A restless energy was coursing through him and he could have grunted as his look fell on the scarlet haze of the long awaited spring sunrise.
Red, like her hair. Red, like the blush dusting her cheeks at his touch. Red, like the fire scalding him on the inside.
It was torment. If he had thought it hard before, when it had been just his vivid imagination torturing him, it was a thousand times worse now when he knew.
How many times had he imagined what it would be like to touch her, kiss her, run his hands through her locks? It had been nothing, nothing compared to how it had felt, the moment seared in his mindscape forever. It had crashed through his carefully established walls of rationality and reason, uprooting it all in blaze like an all-consuming wildfire.
He groaned, running a hand over his eyes, trying to shake the images away and already knowing that he wouldn't be able to, not for a long time, if ever. He had been trying just that the whole night, with no success. They lurked before him every time he closed his eyes, the ghost of her touch haunting his memories, and he had slipped in and out of blazing, twisting dreams, drunk on the very taste of her.
And yet a coldness had seeped in him also, tightening his throat uncomfortably whenever his thoughts lingered on last night. He had asked… he had asked, even if in a confusing way. He had asked and she hadn't cast him away. But his actions had been rash, much too forward, improper… even if he found it hard to regret them.
She had been so very eager, much like him. And yet the fear in her eyes after that had been almost palpable, seeping in her chakra, turning it frazzled, agitated - burning through his senses, it had felt almost acrid at the back of his throat. And it had been there, in her eyes and in her actions and in her voice - regret.
It had sobered him up most effectively and it continued doing so whenever his mind wandered too far into "what if" scenarios. Instead questions bounced furtively in his head, offering very little answers.
Had he misread the situation? Had he misunderstood her, had he assumed she felt something for him too? Had he forced himself on her? Had he hurt her? Had he taken advantage of their friendship? Had he, had he, had he.
But above all: Why?
We shouldn't have done that. she had said. We shouldn't. Shouldn't, as if it was unwise, as if it was beyond choice. But why?
He felt the need for answers twisting in his gut, now same as the previous night; he would have chased after her, but her desperate plea had halted him.
Please don't.
And so dawn found him on his own roof, rooted in his agitation; drowning in the memories of her and in the questions that had no answers and yet unwilling to approach her. Because she had asked.
A day. He could give her that much, couldn't he? Just a day and then he would find her if she hadn't found him first. They would talk; they needed to.
He sighed once again, fixing the rising sun with one last look, resigning himself to the longest day of his life.
Practical thoughts, he chanted inwardly, a shot at rationality.
Shower, breakfast, train, seals, new student.
It was time to meet Kakashi Hatake once again.
It was quite early when Kakashi made it to the training field appointed in his assignment scroll, but he was firmly decided that if ever he was late, it would not be on his first day of meeting his jounin instructor. His father wasn't currently in the village and yet he was somehow certain that if he proved tardy his old man would know right that instant, miles away as he was, making hellbound for Konoha to give him an ear full.
So bright and early he was, a little after dawn, waiting curiously in the middle of his preferred training grounds and wondering whether Minato-sensei had chosen the place for their lessons himself and if he had favoured Training Field 3 because he had already seen Kakashi train there.
Tap, tap, tap, his fingers measured steadily against his thigh, a tick he hadn't even realised he had given into, as he observed the last picnic goers pack up after having welcomed the sunrise in the wake of the Yozakura.
He wasn't nervous, most definitely. He had met his sensei already, had even worked with him even, accidentally. So what if he had come to be known as the second most badass shinobi (bar his dad) in Konoha since then? He had thought Kakashi good enough to explain serious matters to all those months ago. Surely he wouldn't think him unworthy of a student now? After all Kakashi was good, better than his peers, better than most kids in the academy even. And he knew it.
Still, he resigned himself to giving it a hundred and ten today. Just in case.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden appearance of said man out of thin air. Quite literally. One moment the training field had been empty and in the next his sensei was standing below a thick oak tree, having shown exactly zero signs of using a Shunshin.
Oh he was good too.
Minato spotted him within a heartbeat (a sensor?), a warm smile splitting his face as he approached casually, posture relaxed and unassuming. His eyes were the cloudless blue of a summer day, unguarded and alight. Never in a million years would Kakashi have guessed this man to be amongst the most dangerous shinobi in the five elemental nations if he hadn't known already.
"Hello, Kakashi. It's good to see you again."
"Minato-sensei. It's an honour." he mumbled, bowing his head in respect and for once he thought he was doing so not only because his father had taught him to.
The blond man chuckled good-naturedly.
"I suppose the title is warranted this time." he said with a wink and Kakashi felt the corners of his lips draw up beneath his mask.
His mirth and calm had been somewhat surprising, the Hatake realised, having expected that the man would have somehow changed with his newly found war hero title. But Minato Namikaze was much the same as Kakashi remembered him, contagious warmth and all, even if he looked a lot more tired on this particular morning.
"How's the kunai training coming along?"
"I managed to hit all targets. I can even do it blindfolded too now. Should I demonstrate?" he said eagerly, already taking out a handful of kunai from his pouch.
"Whoa, hold on, hold on." the jounin said, amusement clear in his voice. "You'll have plenty of time to show me. How about you tell me a bit about yourself first. Likes, dislikes, skills, affinity, goals and the like. We can go through some routines later so I can gauge your progress also."
Kakashi was already nodding as the man turned back towards the oak tree he had appeared beneath, probably intending to take a seat beside the river.
"And for the record, I had no doubt you'd master it straight away. Well done." he called over his shoulder, smiling, ever smiling.
A sudden warmth spread in his chest, a budding feeling of pride for his accomplishment. Because he had worked hard for it. Because he had been acknowledged.
"Yes, sensei" he said, feeling strangely light as he followed the man down the field, worry making way for excitement.
Yes, he would give it a hundred and ten, as always. But for the first time in a long while he thought it might not be because he had something to prove. He'd do it because his sensei believed in him.
Splinters flew as her fist connected with the thick tree trunk yet again, cracking up the abused bark further. Kushina had been at it for awhile, after running through all her katas a number of times high enough to cause her muscles to burn and ache.
Busy body, quiet mind, the saying went, but whoever had come up with it clearly hadn't messed up quite as bad as she had before getting busy.
No matter how much she went at it, the images wouldn't fade away, taunting her with every breath she took. A hiss and her chakra-coated fist connected forcefully with the trunk for what felt like the thousandth time.
Minato dodging her attacks, amused smile playing on his lips, excitement burning in his eyes.
A punch.
His eyes haunting her, his look searing through her.
A punch.
His hand in her hair, his fingers drawing gooseflesh across her skin, pulling her closer.
A punch.
His lips at her neck, breath tickling her flushed skin.
A punch.
Her legs about him, his hand burning at her thigh, a quiet groan escaping him.
A punch.
His tousled hair silvering in the moonlight. His whispered words, a sigh in the night, just for her.
An exasperated cry and yet another punch. The tree groaned threateningly as a solid chunk of its trunk broke off and flew a good meter away.
"Darn it. Darn it all, ya know."
And with a quiet thump she leaned her forehead against the rough bark instead, one hand still hitting the tree feebly by her face.
This wouldn't do. Nothing would do. She didn't think there'd be a power in all five elemental nations strong enough to get the memories out of her head. Or the guilt.
Because it had been wonderful and terrible both. Because her screw-up would now cost her him. Because really, how could they go back to being friends after it all?
The annoyance was building up inside of her, threatening to spill - annoyance at herself for having failed at sparing him the hurt; annoyance at the fox for taking all of it away; annoyance at her parents for having chosen this for their daughter; annoyance at the world for wanting, needing so much from her; and even annoyance at Minato, for being so darn perfect all the time.
She wasn't sure what she'd do when she saw him again, but it was a fair split between forgetting how words go, kissing him again and punching him proper. Had to be one of the three.
But above all it had to be this: tell him the truth, not that it excluded the other options either.
A weary sigh escaped her as she felt the warmth seep out of her despite the soft rays of the sunrise on her shoulders. It was time.
She had just finished taking a shower and was towelling her hair off when the knock on her door almost made her jump out of her own skin. Only when she cast out her senses in instinct and felt the languid chakra signature pulsing on the other side did she allow herself to breathe again.
"A moment!" she called, pulling her wet hair in a hasty pony-tail before heading for the door. As expected, she was met with a tall dark-haired man whom she instantly recognised as Tarou Hideki, chuunin appointed under the Fuinjutsu Research Centre.
She could have groaned. She had nothing against the man or against his station; in fact her family had had strong ties with the Konoha Fuinjutsu Research Division and had collaborated on many projects, providing insight for the seal-users in their new home. Hideki in particular had worked with her on a number of seal concepts throughout the years. But she had no ongoing work with them right now and she highly doubted the other chuunin had dropped in for a social call with first light. Which could only mean one thing about his sudden appearance early in the morning on a Monday.
The supply runs had been assigned.
"Don't tell me, ya know." she grumbled and the man smiled apologetically.
"It's us this week, sorry." he said and tossed her a mission scroll.
She caught it automatically, sighing as she did.
"No one picked them up?"
The man scoffed.
"As if. No one ever does."
He was right of course, she knew full well. Supply deliveries had to be done for outposts every week, but the task was so simple that it verged on being brainless; it would have actually been carried out by messenger hawks outside of war time, when they didn't run the risk of having enemies take birds down.
But war time it was and someone had to do it… with very few people wanting to be the one. The whole thing had turned in a "who gets the short stick" kind of situation amongst those stationed in the village - shinobi always overlooked supply run missions when picking their next task at the Appointment Desk. They were the very epitome of "someone else's job". The scrolls sat there dutifully before finally landing on someone's desk because the mission deadlines had to be met. And since the supplies were always packed in scrolls to be picked up from the Supplies Sealing Station at the Fuinjutsu Research Centre, said short stick seemed to mainly favour the desks of those working there.
And then there was her. Because she was the only one crazy enough to sometimes actually pick supply missions on a whim. She enjoyed them, missing her time on the roads. They were a welcome change of scenery. And someone at the mission desk had noticed, promptly remembering about her when faced with the very real possibility of having angry chuunin glaring daggers at them if assigned a supply run the very morning after Yozakura.
All of that she knew. But now, of all times? It had to be the height of irony.
"Mission parameters?"
"Leave tomorrow, be back by Friday. Standard thing." Hideki-san was saying as he handed her one of the two satchels he had been carrying. "Here, I picked yours up as well, all supply scrolls are in it. Central West quadrant for you this time. I'm off South-West. Wanna make a race of it?"
She couldn't stop the sour grimace that spilled on her face as she recalled a similar question from last night.
"Oh with that attitude I'm sure to win! Winner gets sake?"
"You're just trying to get someone to pay for your drinks."
"You got me there." The dark-haired man answered through a grin and she found herself cracking a smile in return.
"Safe travels, Hideki-san. And thanks for bringing it."
"My pleasure. See you around, Uzumaki-san."
She closed the door, leaning on it as she did. She had decided she would talk to Minato, but she hadn't thought it would have to be quite so soon. She didn't have the slightest clue how to even start. And now, with a mission coming up, her time to think it over was suddenly, cut short.
He was probably with Kakashi now, so tonight it would have to be then.
They spent the rest of the morning talking, sitting languidly beside the water. Minato-sensei was patient, but thorough, drilling him on everything he knew of ninjutsu, taijutsu, genjutsu, kenjutsu and even fuinjutsu, the last of which he actually didn't know much about at all. But his sensei didn't seem disappointed at all. In fact, even though he was rather good at hiding his emotions, Kakashi had noticed how sometimes his eyebrows shot up in surprise, like when he had proudly explained that he had recently signed a summoning contract - the youngest summoner to do so in his family line.
The blond man turned out to be a wealth of knowledge too as he very unironically launched into chakra affinities and chakra control theories to test Kakashi's knowledge further, deeming him informed enough for serious talks. It was a breath of fresh air to have an adult talk to him normally, without coddling. If he had yet another auntie break down in "Kakashi-chan"-s and explain how cute he was, he thought he might barf.
Minato-sensei didn't seem to be underestimating him one bit, which already made the boy like him more than almost any other adult in Konoha.
The rest of the day they spent sparring, going through different formations and styles with Minato-sensei giving him the opportunity to demonstrate the majority of the techniques he had learned. To his aggravation, the man didn't even seem to break a sweat as he weaved through his attacks, even when Kakashi was pushing himself at his hardest, packing all the punch that he was capable of. He should have expected it really, but he had still harboured hope that he would have his teacher at least a little hard pressed. At this rate, Minato-sensei could have been reading a book and he would have still dodged everything Kakashi threw at him with ease.
Yet the jounin never wavered in his concentration, observing him carefully, intently, never missing a beat. Somehow the boy couldn't shake the sensation that his teacher had easily analysed his every move, strengths and weaknesses both, in just a manner of hours. And yet he kept pushing him forward, relentless.
Just as he was beginning to suspect that someone could in fact be more demanding than his father (which he had thought quite impossible), Minato-sensei finally called for a pause and it took all of Kakashi's determination to not double over as he stopped, panting for air, sweat rolling down his temples and into his mask.
There was a stitch in his ribs, making breathing a pain and his hands were trembling despite his best efforts to still them. A now-familiar numbness was running through his muscles and he was suddenly reminded of radio static.
And Minato-sensei wasn't even breathing uneven.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"Fine." Kakashi straight up lied, determined not to falter. A hundred and ten today. "I'm fine. I can- I can keep going."
Minato simply raised an eyebrow, inclining his head.
"I can still- I'm fine."
"Kakashi… why do you think I pushed you this hard?"
Because that's what training's like, was his first thought. He was quite used to his father demanding much and more every time. But... with the White Fang they usually trained on specific areas every day - he didn't quite overexert himself so thoroughly both with tai and nin all at once. Even he knew that everyday training shouldn't usually be quite like this.
"Because you know- I can deal." he said instead through huffs and the hint of a smile sprung on his sensei's face.
"Yes and no." he said, taking a seat before him and indicating for the boy to follow suit.
Kakashi was only too happy to do so, his legs practically buckling under his weight.
"Pins and needles?" the blonde asked and the boy could simply blink before nodding reluctantly.
"You've reached your limit. You're exhausted and your chakra reserves are spent."
Kakashi knew as much, but it still didn't stop him from frowning, fixing the ground with a look. He could practically feel Minato's look boring into him, knowing smile and all.
"It's important that I know your limit if I am to train you, but most important of all is that you have a firm grasp of it yourself or it can cost you dearly. Pushing yourself within measure is what will help you expand your reserves, but it can only be done if you know when to stop. I'm sure you know of chakra debt?"
"Chakra is part physical energy generated by the body, and the excess of it not used for bodily functions makes up your regular chakra stocks which you can use for techniques. When you use up all of your reserves you start using up the energy in your muscles, which is chakra debt." he recited mechanically.
"Precisely. It starts with your skeletal muscles - your arms and legs. They feel heavy and shaky, hence the pins and needles. You're already experiencing the first stages of chakra debt now. If you keep pushing longer beyond this point you'll eventually start drawing from other muscles that keep your body going, like your lungs and your heart. Your breathing would become more laboured, your brain wouldn't get enough oxygen, you'd lose consciousness, your heart would stop beating. It would cost your life."
Kakashi nodded. He knew most of what his sensei was saying, even if he hadn't pictured it quite in such detail. Chakra exhaustion could be lethal - it was one of the first lessons any shinobi was ever taught.
"But the truth is many shinobi don't make it to those last stages of chakra exhaustion. First stages are enough to give an enemy the chance to land a fatal blow. So know this, it's not enough to give it your all - you have to do so cleverly, efficiently. Do you understand?"
And he did. His sensei had been quite aware what he had been doing whole day - pushing himself to extremes. And he was trying to make sure he wouldn't do the same on the battlefield unless absolutely necessary. Kakashi had to pause and wonder whether he would have done so unless cautioned.
It was hard dealing with hypotheticals, especially when the hypothetical was you.
"But sensei, you've pushed yourself beyond your limits." he found himself saying, almost defensively.
He didn't think he wasn't supposed to know. Everyone knew - Konoha's Yellow Flash had saved many of Uzu's people and almost died for it.
His sensei's answering smile suddenly looked quite tired.
"I have."
"So… how do you know when it's okay to do that and when it's not?"
The blond man stayed quiet for a few moments more, deliberating and Kakashi suddenly feared he might have asked the wrong thing.
"It's not an answer I can give you lightly." he started finally, levelling him with a look. "It's something a shinobi must determine for themselves - what are the principles you'd never back down from, what do you hold most dear? What would you be willing to lay down your life for? Not in theory, but what you really, truly, would risk everything for? Most people don't know the answer until the moment comes. But when it does, you feel it here" his sensei said as he tapped Kakashi's chest with a finger, over his heart. "It fills you, shines through you. We call it The Will of Fire, but other nations have different names for it too. It's the will to never back down, the motivation that pushes you that extra mile when it truly, really matters."
Kakashi was looking at him wide-eyed, taking in every word. He had heard about the Will of Fire, but he'd never heard it explained in quite that way.
"I see." he said, nodding thoughtfully at the ever-smiling jounin.
"So, shall we call it a day? We can pick up from where we left off tomorrow and have a look at your summoning skills when you're better rested."
The boy was only too eager to agree as they both stood up, Kakashi still somewhat shakily.
"Minato-sensei, may I ask one more?"
"Yes?"
"How did you know I had gone beyond my limits?"
His smile was almost apologetic in its sincerity.
"The physical signs were there, but perhaps I had a better grasp of the precise moment than most. I'm a sensor."
"I knew it!" he exclaimed and his sensei was chuckling again.
"Your observation skills need little guidance on my part." the man said, tousling his hair as he made for the Training Grounds exit and Kakashi couldn't help but grin beneath his mask.
The coming of night found him in much the same place that he had started the day from – sprawled on his back over the tiles of his home, absently following the stars with a look. The sun had set some two hours ago, as he was parting ways with his student. A smile sprung to his lips without him even realising as he thought back on the kid's progress. He truly was exceptional – a prodigy for his age, just as Kushina had said.
He huffed, tousling his hair with one hand. No matter what he did, his thoughts always ran ahead of him, turning back to her. Despite all distractions he found for himself, despite training and keeping busy, he always came back to square one. Kushina.
He felt impatience coiling in him, like a tightly wound spring, waiting to snap. The need to see her felt almost palpable now, like a living, breathing thing inside him, burning as it went.
He was just wondering if time had indeed flown as slow as it had felt when he spotted it despite the darkened night sky – a summoning hawk, Konoha's system of notifying people of specified ranks that they've been summoned to duty at once. It took him all of five seconds to spring to his feet and all of ten to head towards the Hokage tower as signalled.
It looked like it might be a longer night still.
The quiet knock was almost hesitant, uncertain, but still audible in the stillness of the empty house. A minute later and it repeated, this time stronger, echoing through the sealing scroll-filled room. Silence answered it both times.
Her sigh was swallowed by the chorus of crickets all about his house.
And then her steps retreated in the night.
And there we go, somewhat shorter, but I have a lot planned for the next few (many) chapters. I don't mean to bleat excuses, but I suppose I should also briefly explain. I was incredibly lucky to find myself in a position where, when faced with this pandemic, I could work from home not only for one, but two jobs. It's been great to be able to stay afloat when this whole thing went down, but it was trying - flipping to an online classroom required so much more work than I anticipated. I had to undergo courses and learn how to do this effectively, change my whole approach. And let me tell you, teaching five year-olds online is one heck of challenge, but it's also incredibly fun! :) In any case, this is now mostly over - summer vacation is upon us and after catching my breath some, I've also returned to my hobbies more fully. So yes, you can expect the next one much, much sooner. I'll now be back to a regular update schedule again!
In the meantime, thank you all for your support and for prompting me to continue! It was lovely to hear from you and to know you enjoy my work! Your comments push me forward better than most anything (though I have to give credit to coffee also, bless :D )
I'd also like to take this time to give a nod to SilverQueen for her awesome ideas regarding the workings of chakra, which have also heavily influenced my work. She's great and much smarter than I am and if you haven't read her stuff you totally should!
Finally, a quick shout-out to lenrion, who did a wonderful fanart of a very beloved scene (for me) from my story - when Minato and Kushina are still kids and he ends up catching her before she "falls" off a tree. Thank you a thousand times over, len! It was great to see it come to life through your eyes! I couldn't have done it better in a million years! You can check out her work on instagram, under the same handle (lenrion)!
Ja ne~