Chapter 20

Gusto has resumed his default expression of a smug smile. He idly twirling his knife, with no apparent concern that I might escape him.

"Where's the rest of your little group? You guys have a bad breakup?" Gusto asks nonchalantly. I don't know if he is genuinely blasé about all of this or if this is him projecting confidence. I wish I could act as calm but my heart is pounding and I feel as if no breath is left in my body.

"You could say that," I respond. "Plus, you know, final four and all that."

"Too true." He says. He gestures back where we came from. "How did you figure out fire?"

"Just a good way to take them all out at once," I mumble to him. He nods in response and takes a step closer to me.

I want to reach for my knife but with a creeping sense of dread, I realize I don't have it with me anymore. In my hurry to outrun the mutts I had dropped everything by the riverbank. My pack and all of my supplies are gone, including my knife.

I am completely empty handed.

"Well, you certainly got me out of a jam there." Gusto grins and gives me a wink.

I feel like such an idiot. Even after Heather's betrayal, I went ahead and helped Gusto escape from the mutts. The thought hadn't even occurred to me not to help him or leave him behind and now he is going to kill me.

"You can owe me one," I say softly, trying to keep the conversation light. He chuckles but shakes his head teasingly.

"I would but we're down to the final four and all…" He shrugs with mock sadness.

I sigh and all I can say is, "No good deed goes unpunished."

"You could say that."

Without warning, Gusto surges forward, forcefully pushing me back. Before I have time to react, Gusto has me pinned up against a tree. The tips of my feet just graze the ground as he holds me up with one arm, keeping us face to face. I yelp in surprise before I fruitlessly try to push him off. He just laughs and holds his knife up.

"Now, let's see here. How should this go about?"

I shout out again and kick at him. He rests the knife against my neck and I am forced to still, lest I slit my own throat.

"Such a shame, pretty thing like you. I always wanted to get some alone time with you. Not like this, of course. But just a chance to do this."

To my utter shock, Gusto leans forward and kisses me hard on the mouth. I scream against his lips. I try to wiggle my head free but he keeps the knife in place so I have little room for escape. He pulls back from the kiss, satisfied. "That wasn't too bad. Not too bad at all."

I glare at him in disgust. Gusto gives me a terrifying smile before he kisses me again.

This kiss is harder and sloppier. He loosens his grip on my body, allowing me to slide against the tree to the ground, but his body and the knife are enough to keep me in place.

I struggle against him, pushing and kicking at him, but he ignores me, breaking the kiss. He looks at me wistfully.

"Sorry, but I don't think a romance is going to save District Twelve again. I'm gonna hate cutting up that pretty face of yours."

In a blind panic, I spit in his face. He grunts in irritation and instinctively moves his left hand to wipe his face. With my right arm free I grab the first body part I can. I snatch his ear and pull as hard as I can.

The action surprises him and, as his head is pulled back, he moves the knife from my throat and I manage to free myself from between him and the tree, rushing out into the clearing.

I do not get far before he tackles me to the ground. I cry out in pain as my side hits the rocky ground. He rolls my body over so I am facing him as he pins down. He clenches my left arm and pins my right wrist with his knee.

I scream in pain as he pushes his knee into my wrist. I hear the bones crack under his weight and I think he has broken it.

Gusto gives me a disturbing smile. I groan in pain as he roughly pulls on my still sore left arm. He lays it flat against the ground. He holds up his knife, dangling it in front of my face.

"Let's see here," he says in a cheeky tone. "This little piggy went to market!"

Gusto suddenly swings the knife down and chops off my pinkie finger.

Gusto laughs raucously as I scream. The pain shoots up my arm as blood spills out beside us.

"Sorry, princess. I guess you can't put your little pinky up at any more tea parties," Gusto jokes. He raises his knife again and proclaims, "This little piggy stayed home!"

He swings the knife down against my ring finger. It is not a clean cut, so he begins sawing at my bone. The pain stings and I feel myself getting weaker as I try to push him off of me.

Gusto holds up my now three-fingered hand and waves it in my face. "Uh-oh. It looks like a wedding ring is impossible too."

Exhausted from fear and pain, I stare up at this cruel boy with a look of horror.

Gusto tsks, dropping my arm. "Now, none of that. How about a smile?"

He twirls the knife playfully and brings it up to my face. He traces the outline of my lips with the blade. He glides it across my face and lays it against my cheek, as if he is an artist imagining his painting.

Acting on total impulse, I flop my head to the side, knocking into the knife. I feel it slice my cheek but the action startles Gusto and he drops it. I keep my head flat against the knife, pinning it so he can't retrieve it.

Gusto attempts to grab the knife again. His thick hands can't get a hold of it and out of frustration he starts punching me anywhere he can reach. I cry out but I desperately keep my head down.

Finally, he gives up and puts one of his hands on my throat while he reaches for a nearby rock. I realize that he has let my right hand free. As quick as I can, I grab the knife and swing it at Gusto.

A horrible noise echoes in my ears as the knife slices Gusto's throat. Blood spurts from the wound as Gusto limply falls forward.

I scamper out from under him and watch as he collapses to the ground. I feel tears running down my cheeks as Gusto coughs up some blood while the rest gushes from his throat. He weakly turns his head and his cold eyes look right at me. Finally, he stops breathing.

The cannon goes off and I drop the knife. I scoot backwards against a tree, bringing my knees up to my chest. I drop my head and scream and howl until no more sounds can come out. I stare at my hands, a broken wrist and a cut up, bloody stump.

I force myself to calm down and breathe, trying to focus on the physical pain of my hands. I shakily look over at the bloody boy next to me.

I wonder what's taking the hovercraft so long. I realize it must be because of me. I take the bottom of my shirt and wrap up my bleeding hand.

I crawl over and find what remains of my fingers. I scoop them up tenderly, and put them in one of my pants pockets. I spot Gusto's pack beside a bush. I grab that too, pulling the heavy thing over my sore shoulders.

As I walk by Gusto's body, I grab his large hunting knife. I wipe it clean with Gusto's shirt.

I have no clue what to feel as I stare at this boy. A boy I killed. And not even my first kill.

He was going to kill you, I think. You would be dead.

I think about how he had kissed me. How I was his last kiss. How if I die here then he will be my last kiss too. How maybe in a different world he might have been kind and sweet. But instead he was raised to be hard and vicious. I think of how easily he could have been standing and looking at my lifeless body.

I stare at the corpse and realize I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything at all.

I wipe the knife on his shirt again before leaving him behind.