Chapter 8: Violated
There is no way to know how long they've been in Mirkwood. The only guess can be drawn from the amount of food they have left (not much). Gailien believes it has been nearly two weeks. Two weeks of following the stony path and slowly losing their minds. More than once they've almost lost a Dwarf or two, barely keeping their wits about them.
The Dwarves have succumbed faster than her, but she is slowly starting to meet the same fate. She no longer leads and whatever Dwarf is in the rightest state of mind does so. They have no sleep pattern; they just walk until their stomachs ache and camp is made. Sleep became harder to come by until it is no longer sleeps and more short bursts of naps over a few hours.
Her feet drag along the ground, feeling like someone has coated them in the heaviest metal to exist. Bofur walks behind her, moaning about the lack of air. There isn't anything she can do for him – only make sure he doesn't stray. She wants Kili's company, but she can't even bring herself to search for him.
Gailien lifts her hand to scratch her face but stops short. Her hand is on backwards. Like someone has cut off her hand, turned it around and sewn in back on. She can't take her eyes off of it. The battle on her mind trying to determine what is reality and what is not. But her hand is so clear – nothing fuzzy. They begin to shake, and she lifts her other hand which faces the same fate.
A hand not belonging to her grasps the side of her shoulder. Gailien looks away from her hands, with the eyes of a scared deer at the brunette prince. Kili watches her, silently asking if she is okay. Gailien drops her gaze back down to her hands and to utmost relief, they are back to normal. She clenches her eyes shut, tightening her fingers into fists and pulls them to her chest trying to regain control over their shaking.
Kili's hand shifts around to her back, gesturing forward with a tilt of his head and they return to the rest of the company who is slowly walking past them.
"We need to keep an eye out for food," she says as she and Kili begin walking near Balin and Dwalin. "We don't have much left and it is going to be too dangerous to hunt. Anything – rabbits, birds. If it crosses our path…"
"I haven't seen a single bird this entire time," Dwalin notes, disgruntled.
"I haven't seen a single animal," Kili adds.
"They're out there," Gailien says, looking out to her left past the shadows of trees. "We just haven't been paying enough attention. But we can't afford that luxury now. I have no idea how far off we are from the other side, and I know Dwarves can survive a without food longer than most, but we have a Hobbit as well."
"And you," Kili says, slightly accusingly. "I've seen you beginning to take lesser portions."
It wasn't a secret in Gailien's eyes. She has just been trying to do her part in preserving what they have left. She doesn't need to eat as much as she usually does to sustain herself. "Elves can survive on less food. Not as hardy as Dwarves in that sense, but we are don't require as much as humans or Hobbits."
"You're a half-Elf. If anybody should be eating less, it is Bombur," he growls, sending the large Dwarf a scathing glare. Gailien gives Kili her own short glare, slapping his side with the back of her hand.
"Don't be mean. We wouldn't have our food without him." Kili mumbles some incoherent response. "Or we would but I doubt it would be that edible."
The sun is no longer visible through the trees – not that it does much anyways, and Thorin orders for camp to be made again. The trees have become even denser now in the inner parts of Mirkwood and there is no room for a comfy spread of bedroll. Trees tower over them on either side. No doubt they'll be lying on top of each other.
Gailien lays her bedroll down, opening her water skin and holds it up to her mouth. A small trickle of water drops out. Her mouth is already dry, but she still has a few more days before dehydration will begin to settle in. A headache forms at the thought.
"Here."
To her right, Thorin holds out his water skin to her, looking at it blandly. Gailien shakes her head, putting the lid back on her own. "I'm fine. I don't need it." Thorin looks no better than she feels, dark circles under his eyes. Thorin watches her as she makes no move to take the water skin he still holds out. They all started with the same, it would be unfair to have more than anybody else.
"Please," Thorin sighs, almost as a beg. "So I'm not worrying."
"And let me worry because I'm taking yours instead?" she counters, dropping her gaze from the skin to her pack so it doesn't tempt her more than it already has. "I appreciate it, but I can't." Besides, the thirst distracts from the hunger. Thorin juts his jaw but places the bottle back on one of his waist ties.
"I'll get us some food," he mumbles, sauntering over the few paces to where Bombur has just finished cooking. Gailien opens her mouth to protest but he is already moving by the time any words reach her lips.
He returns shortly after, holding two measly bowls of some type of stew. "Thank you," she says, taking to bowl from his hand. Thorin sits back down next to her, on his own bedroll. Sure enough, there is little space and the edges of the material are bunched up against each other. Fili and Kili are on her other side, lying perpendicular. She is going to have to make sure she does not move too much, lest she knocks into their heads.
"How are you handling the forest?" she asks quietly. Gailien knows that Thorin will not want to reveal how badly he is begin affected to the company, but she hopes that with them being distracted by food, he will open up to her.
Thorin purses his lips, eyes darting around for a few moments before he answers. "I…see things that aren't there. It is hard to tell what is real and what is not."
She nods in understanding. "I saw my hands on backwards today," she muses with a small snort attempting to lift his mood. "Would have been interesting to try and use a sword like that if it was real."
The corner of his mouth twitches up into a smile as he looks to her hands. "That would be a sight to see." The small smile grows into a full one, even a small laugh passing his lips. "I thought I saw Dwalin naked at one point."
Gailien chokes on the spoonful of stew, forcing her to put in on the ground so she can cover her mouth. She coughs away the stray food from her throat as Thorin watches her in amusement. "Is that when I heard you yell out the other day?" she questions. About two days ago, Thorin had been walking behind her and out of nowhere, screamed deeply, shocking the entire company. He seemed to click back into reality a second after and shut his mouth, pressing forward.
Thorin nods bashfully, risking a glance at the warrior Dwarf then closes his eyes in regret.
Gailien laughs softly, but truly before closing her eyes with a grimace. "Oh, that brings back unwanted memories," she moans. "I'm so happy I haven't seen that here. I don't think the image would ever leave."
"You have nobody but yourself to blame for that," Thorin chortles, almost forgetting what is around them. "I tried to stop you."
Gailien rolls her eyes and the large smile stays planted on her cheeks. "I know. But you were so desperate for me not to that I couldn't resist. But I do regret every second. I hope nobody else has seen the same thing here. Oh, that makes backwards hands sound so much better."
"I'm shocked that it hasn't happened more than once," Thorin muses with a small smirk.
"I've been very careful," she drawls. Out of nowhere, Kili and Fili's heads pop out on either side of her, sitting on the edge of their bedrolls which cross with hers. "And I'm surprised even more so that no one has accidentally intruded on me. We don't exactly have the luxury of privacy."
"Ori almost did once," Fili says, smirking broadly through his braided beard. "Back at the Carrock."
"Poor lad almost busted out crying after Thorin's scolding," Kili adds with great amusement. Gailien's mouth drops open. She isn't sure whether to chew out Thorin for being so harsh, thank him, or smack the brother's heads for bringing it up. Now she feels sorry for poor Ori.
"Thorin," she chides "you didn't need to be so hard on him." She rolls her eyes, giving the younger Dwarf who sits on the other side of the camp a sympathetic glance.
"Oh, so you'd rather me not stop him at all?" Thorin questions.
"Stop changing my words. I don't want anybody here seeing me undressed."
"We could say the same lass," Fili remarks.
"Now I don't know whether to be offended or not," Gailien says with faux exasperation, flipping her head between the two brothers as the three of them continue to bicker, not noticing Thorin's eyes lingering over her body. "Come on boys, we should at least try to get some sleep."
Thorin's eyes quickly dart back up to her face, hoping the darkness of the forest will hide the colour on his face. He mumbles an agreement and lies down on his bedroll, facing away from the woman to calm his thoughts.
Gailien lies on her stomach, resting on her arms as the brothers also settle themselves. A heavy weight rests against the back of her knee, and she lifts her head with narrowed eyes. "Are you serious, Malthen emel?" Fili has taken it upon himself to use the back of her leg as a resting place for his head.
"You want me to get a night of good sleep, right?" he questions with a teasing smirk. "I'll sleep better with head cushioning." Gailien narrows her eyes at his tone but doesn't truly mind – it'll be his own fault if she moves and he smacks his head on the ground. Her gaze swaps to Kili who looks at his brother with a smile, liking his idea but then it drops when he sees where his head would have to lay.
His eyes dart up to Gailien who watches him with an intense glare. "I'll take the ground," he states, dropping his head onto his arms. Gailien smirks to herself, settling back into her folded arms, closing her eyes to try and find some peace in this forsaken place.
Xx
Gailien's closed eyes twitch, sensing movement nearby. Only in light sleep, she is easily awoken but it takes a while for her mind to catch up with her body. There is still a heavy weight on her leg, her arm propped over something. As her eyes adjust, she finds Kili has moved in his sleep, laying his legs over his brother and Gailien's forearm resting over his neck.
She turns her head around, trying to find what has caused her to waken but the rest of the camp are either sleeping or trying to. There must be somebody on watch unless they have fallen asleep. Gailien rests her head back down, facing Thorin but he is no longer in his bedroll.
Her head snaps back up, squinting as she looks around for him. He stands near a tree, looking out into the distance, not even moving his fingers. She had almost missed him – her tired eyes and mind mistaking him for part of the trees. He seems entranced, and knowing how dangerous it could be, Gailien knows that she needs to check on him – at the least.
Removing her hand from Kili, she slowly leans back, cupping the back of Fili's head off her leg. The blond Dwarf stays sleeping as she lays it back down on the ground. Free of Dwarf limbs, Gailien pushes herself to a stand.
Thorin still has not moved.
She steps over the sleeping bodies, trying to both keep as quiet as possible but also not frighten Thorin. Gailien comes to a step behind him. "Thorin?" He doesn't answer or acknowledge her call in any way. Not even a twitch in his neck. Swallowing her slight fear, her hand lifts into the air, laying softly on his shoulder.
This time, he does react, his head slowly turning around. His eyes are wide, hazy and still trapped in whatever lure the forest has dragged him into. His own large hand rises, covering hers.
"Thorin?" she tries again. "What are you seeing? Whatever it is, it's not real."
"Isn't it?"
Gailien holds her face of shock that he responded to her. "No," she answers. "But I am. The company are. Come back to sleep, we still have a few hours until we need to start moving."
Once again, Thorin is trapped in a state of silence but the skin between his eye wrinkles as he tries to figure his mind out. The fingers of the hand that lies on hers slowly pull her hand away but do not let go. Instead, Gailien's hand is pulled up to his face, to his jaw. Her arm stiffens as she touches his beard, his fingers guiding hers, running them through the hair.
Caught in the moment, her fingers begin moving of their own accord, tracing along his jawline. Thorin's eyes never leave her face as his hand slowly drifts down to her forearm, letting her move as she pleases. And she does, eyes pointed on her hand as it moves along his face.
Without much thought, her hand raises higher until she touches above his ear where his braid begins. She holds it between her fingers, entranced by the pattern braided hair makes. They slowly trail down, her thumb tracing over some of the strands. Reaching the bottom, her fingers stop before they touch the bead. Her eyes turn to his face, gauging his expression. He holds the same one he has this entire time.
Daringly, her hand drops even more and the cool metal slips into her grasp. It has deep engravings of runes. One that is very similar to her own but the pattern around it is different. As she examines it, a cool hand meets her face. Thorin's free hand rests softly on her own cheek.
She watches his eyes as they trace along her features when the sudden dread falls onto her. Her hand drops the bead and she stumbles back out of his grasp. What is she doing? Thorin is till under whatever spell the forest is using to lure him and she has taken advantage of his position of weakness – doing things that he would never let her in his right mind.
"I'm sorry." Her voice is raspy and barely even makes a dent in the thick silence of the forest, but it is all she can manage. She feels sick to her stomach, marching back to her bedroll, hoping that Thorin will come back of his own accord. With her back to his bedroll, she focuses on Kili's head which now lays parallel to her instead of perpendicular.
Leaves crunch and behind her, someone settles back down into their bedroll.
Oh, how she wishes they weren't in this forest.
Omg you guys brought the biggest smile to my face when I woke up. The reviews were incredible - and to think that people are honestly excited when they see the update notification! Ahh! So this is a personal thank you to those people!