Everything was like a wild dream. Everything was hazy, like you're trapped in a trance.

I felt it all, actually. The weight of my sword on my fingers, the heaviness of my breathing, the sharp itch on my throat from my yell, and my newfound want for blood. It was not exactly blood that I wanted, but I felt some sort of violent yearning. It was something new; it was different. Although the differences were rather short in comparison to whatever father felt that time he was alive, I was not wrong to assume that the damages I would inflict upon these men was not to be underestimated. I looked at everyone, all of them wore shocked faces. "Alright, Private, calm down..." Officer Marshall was slowly approaching me. I felt an unknown force lift up my sword arm and point the blade towards him, and I felt an uncontrollable aching across my body. This feeling whispered to me. It told me to lunge forward, but I fought it.

It was at that moment I knew that this was the blood lust father was facing all this time. The instincts of a monster wanting nothing more than the suffering of another living being. As a soldier, it was obvious enough that I had to win this fight in me. It will break all the laws and values that I had wished to uphold in this life fate had given me.

However, I was not winning this struggle.

I brought my other arm to hold my sword arm back, but in an unexpected turn, I felt the force plunge my blade unto the left hand. I quickly, with all my strength, took control of my arm and drew it from my now bleeding hand. Blood spewed across the grass, but the blood had ceased in the air. Then like a cyclone, it drew the splattered blood on the ground, in the air, and into the curse mark. The pain on my hand was fading, and as I glanced at my left hand once more, my own blood was now sewing back the flesh that was rendered from the steel.

I felt the force once more, and I couldn't be any more afraid than I was at that single moment. In a flash, I felt my own arm betray my own will as it took the sword and pierced my left shoulder, missing my heart by just a few inches.

I screamed...

But who wouldn't? The pain was too much.

My legs gave in as I found myself laying on the grass in the next moment. On the ground, my hands found their way unto the grip and with all my remaining strength, I braced myself for the pain before pulling the sword out from my now broken shoulder. I felt the soul energy from my right arm become weaker as it, once again, took in my own blood to heal my self inflicted wound. The dark clouds of the curse were now beginning to dissipate unto the hot afternoon sky as I laid down on the red tainted grass.

My breathing was heavy, cold sweat dripped from my forehead. I brought my right hand to my face. The curse mark's glow was now fading, blinking sporadically. I was now regaining control of my body, the blood lust was gone, and the pain was no more.

It's the curse again. Familiar, but it was even more horrifying than the last time.

I heard their footsteps come toward me, as well as a few murmurs between them. The more I stay still, the more strength I was losing. I knew I wasn't dying, I refused to, but the peaceful weakness of the darkness beckons my soul. It was a tantalizing grip on my mind that I couldn't merely refuse out of sheer power of will.

Maybe I would be able to, but not today.

As my vision darkened at the corners of my eyes, their boots were now closer than I had imagined. I could now hear them clearly, worried about me.

I'm glad I was able to meet them.

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Opening my eyes, the darkness was still ever present. I was slowly regaining my strength. It seemed I had slept for quite a while. My senses overwhelmed me as I choked on reality bringing me back to the waking world. I sat up, I could feel the dankness of my clothes as I moved. Wiping the sweat off my forehead, it was clear that this sleep was not comfortable at the slightest.

I found myself on a bed in the Infirmary. It was clear that it was already after duty hours. The only ones that remained here were the critically injured ones, and people with serious health conditions. Then, I heard a healer walk toward me. "Wide awake? Here, have some water..." Elijah spoke in a gentle whisper. I mouthed a 'thank you' as I reached out to receive it, but my voice couldn't even reach the outside. Perhaps I was too dehydrated. "What time is it...?" was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

Dinner had not crossed my mind. I was already used to skipping meals all those years ago, but my stomach growled in disdain as I looked back on my past lifestyle.

"It has been two hours since the last horn..." he said. Elijah looked dreadful, as if he had done something awful in the past few days. He turned to me, and his eyes looked like they hadn't slept for weeks on end. "What happened out there...?" Somehow, this was the question I was dreading.

To be frank, I still haven't settled in with what happened today. It is now late, and the thoughts of getting back to my tent after getting up was now out of sight. I have no other choice than to stay in for the night. I still have training tomorrow, and I doubt that I'd be excused for the outburst earlier. Still, I couldn't cross out the possibility.

More or less, I think the army would do their best to study me. Whatever good that would bring, anyway.

"The curse..." I said as I stayed silent. It was all I could say, as it was the only explanation I could give. Many would say that I should give Elijah my trust since he is the only one who would be able to help me, but I know that even St. Paula couldn't help me. I feel like every help I'd get would be a waste of time.

It might seem hopeless, and there's a good chance that it might be that way for good.

I still have to wrap my mind around this life long curse. For now, I know what it can do and what it does to my body and soul. My mind, thankfully, is no longer afflicted and I stay sane all through it all. I can heal myself through blood, but I can't control it.

If I could bend it to my will, I may have the chance to learn it. But right now, all I could do is hope for the absolute best scenario, though I doubt that it would happen sooner or later.

"You know, you've caused a lot of panic in the higher ups..." said Elijah, breathing heavily as he covered his tired face with cloth. I did not say a word, but I can understand why. "What can we do, Von Zayne...?" I shrugged at the question. I didn't know either. It was useless to ponder on the subject any longer as is.

I looked to my right and saw a metal tray with food on it. "Is this mine...?" I pointed at the food. "Yes..." Elijah groaned in exhaustion before walking away, leaving me with my food. I suppose eating wouldn't hurt me as bad as I would expect it to. Taking the metal tray from the table, I placed it on my lap. I took the knife and fork and proceeded to eat the cold food.

My mind was racing to and fro. Today was an absolute mess...

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It was already the end of the week, and things were constantly on edge.

I did my best to focus on my training, but both the lingering pain on my right arm and the judging gazes of my comrades and other trainees was always bothering me. It was something that I cannot bring myself to ignore. It was a challenge, and one I doubt would improve my well being in the long term.

Just as expected, the army officials caught wind the day after my incident. Since then, healers would often accompany my training sessions, both morning and afternoon, to keep me at bay. They would closely monitor the flow of my soul energy, and they would visit me every evening before I sleep to check on my status. Luckily the healers in the army have the ability to restrict the flow of my soul energy, but the sheer force and intensity of my own energy made even that part extremely difficult for the healers. Although I have not gone through another outburst, the healers remain vigilant all throughout the week, and will remain so until the officials have reached an outcome. Today, Colonel Levon had arranged a meeting with me, Security Officer Naya, and a few other officials to discuss my position in the army.

And now, I could feel my own anxiety brush upon the doubts on my mind.

I am now sitting in my tent, waiting for some messenger to fetch me. I did my hardest to stay calm. Several scenarios went over my head, some comforting, some worrying; I couldn't imagine the ending to the meeting. Whatever they were going to talk about, it was going to change a few things. Some things are at stake here for me, and the only thing I could do is give my worries to the sky.

Just as I took in one last heavy inhale, the tent opening flapped and a head appeared. "Private Von Zayne?" "Yes?" "You are to report to Colonel Levon's Office, now." And she disappeared without a secondary moment. I figured I needed some sort of comfort during the entirety of the meeting, so I grabbed my robe and my mother's pocket book before proceeding to the Office.

I entered the tent slowly. Somehow, something was holding me back. But, regardless, I couldn't let myself be subjected to this sheer level of fear. Taking one last breath, I went in.

I was greeted with Colonel Levon, whom I had saluted before stepping forward. The wooden desk that was once in the middle of the room was now replaced with a long table, made with ebony. He gestured to one of the seats and I made my way to sit there. I heard the tent opening flap loudly, accompanied with heavy footsteps. "I can't believe you got me in trouble! You gave me a warning slip!" Officer Naya was already at my throat before even the meeting had begun. "Calm yourself, Naya. I'm sure we can all settle this in an orderly manner." She then sat opposite to me, arms crossed, and wore a frustrated expression. "Who's gonna be joining us, then?" Naya asked as she looked at me with glaring eyes. "A few company commanders. It's best we settle this within this Division before it escalates into anything serious..."

A few minutes later, the company commanders have arrived and the meeting promptly began as soon as it could.

"Now then... As you all may know, we are here to discuss a certain incident that had happened a few days ago that involved this Private here." Colonel Levon took out several parchments, one of which I would assume that held my personal information. "He is currently training under Officer Marshall, as he is the assigned Field Adviser of one of the company platoons under the leadership of Commander Lucio." he continued as he was scrutinizing some of the papers.

The only remote thing that I could do, in that moment, was keep my composure. The atmosphere was clouded by an air of seriousness that it could choke my lungs simply because of its thickness. Nonetheless, I continued my deep breathing, though my mind was elsewhere. I was having trouble even listening.

"Security Officer Naya, you were the one who recommended Private Von Zayne into the military. Is that correct?"

"That is correct." her tone had changed along with the atmosphere.

"Would you mind giving us a reason for that?" he adjusted himself as he straightened out the papers in his hand.

Naya straightened herself out before speaking. "Well, Private Von Zayne was a civilian who had army equipment, a sword with the crest of the Kingdom of the Sun. I confiscated it, but he claimed that you, Dylan Levon, had given that sword to him. Of course it would have been protocol to disregard that statement, but I gave him the benefit of a doubt and recommended him to the army. If he wanted that sword back, he'd best be committed to it." Though her explanation was clear cut, the Colonel pressed on. "Considering that, have you seen him actually use the sword?" Naya merely sighed and shrugged before speaking. "I accidentally bumped into him during one of my patrols, so no..."

He now turned to, who I believe to be, Commander Lucio after writing a few notes. "Commander, would you be able to confirm Private Von Zayne's skill? I do believe Field Advisers provide weekly reports of every trainee, if I remember correctly." "I believe I'm certain that I can confirm it..." Commander Lucio began to go through the papers in the folder he brought to the meeting. "In the most recent report by Officer Marshall, it states here that he was bested at a duel during the first training session with his platoon that involved wielding the sword." as soon as everyone heard what he said, almost everyone nodded in acknowledgement, even Commander Lucio himself was surprised to hear it from the report. "Although, previous reports show his below average skill with other equipment, especially with the use of Bow and Arrow, and the Lance. Additionally, Officer Marshall commented that his skill with the sword can be compared to that of an experienced soldier."

Colonel Levon looks back at the parchment he was holding, wrote something on one of the papers before sitting straight whilst wearing a satisfied look on his face. He then brought one of the papers unto the table before clearing his throat. "It is clear from the company records that the possibility of discharge is ruled out. Private Von Zayne has potential, and it would be an unwise decision to remove him from the army."

Every inch of my body felt relieved the moment I realized what I was hearing. I was not going to get discharged. I was not going back to Paradise Prairie. I did my best to hide my smile under the gazes of the commanders.

I was going to continue this life of a hardened soldier in the Kingdom of the Sun.

"However, it would appear that there is an underlying problem. Private Von Zayne..." I shot up straight as my eyes met with the Colonel's. His was a strong gaze, but one, I felt, would not allow you to yield if you had wished. "Yes, sir?" I answered clearly in a strength filled voice. "Would you kindly give all of us here a detailed description of your condition...?"

"Will do, sir." Colonel Levon nodded as he held his quill and paper tightly. I figured I'd be the one to do the talking now. I've been silent for a while, and it wouldn't be fair if I didn't talk for the whole meeting. Each commander had their eyes set on me, waiting for my own explanation.

I don't know how well I can describe it, but I have picked up details over the years of suffering from this curse. Though only recently am I confident on what I have noticed. Taking a deep breath, I allowed my heart to guide my words. There would be no confusion.

There would only be certainty.

"When I was born into this world, I had a condition identified by a mark on the palm of my right hand. Everyday, it aches with each passing second, sending pulses of pain that goes through my entire body. Whenever void season is near, the pain becomes too much for me to handle. Aside from the pain, whenever I get injured, this condition would, in my eyes, allow my own soul energy to manifest and seek out another living being. The manifested soul energy would take a portion of the soul energy from that living being to heal all my wounds after a few moments. I have taken medicine from several healers and rune sorcerers, so the severity of my condition has decreased as time passed. At first, the pain would cause me immeasurable distress, but now it is just a strong aching alongside a thirst for blood."

Colonel was still writing vehemently, even after I stopped talking. That was all the details I could give. Everything else was either speculation or doubt, and I know I couldn't give either to the commanders. "This is not a void disease, is it?" Colonel Levon asked. "No..." he raised an eyebrow at my response. Clearly my answer was not what the Colonel had expected, as he was beginning to cross out several statements on his parchment. "I have tried all the void disease remedies, even the experimental ones. None of them proved effective on my condition."

Then, as I had expected, they were in complete disbelief at what I had said. "Surely, you just need more treatment, right? We do have a healer capable of expelling such disease..." a commander from the far end of the table scoffed, placing his chin on top of the back of his hand as he wore an amused grin. "It would not hurt to try. Catherine, bring Ace in..." It seemed that Colonel Levon approved of the suggestion.

I sincerely believe it won't even work...

He wrote a small note and gave it to the messenger girl. "Yes, sir Levon." Then, we sat in the office in silence.

As far as I could remember it, this was the first time I had ever discussed my curse openly to another person, let alone several at once. It felt somewhat liberating, like a heavy chain pulling me down was suddenly unshackled. I have lost the heavy weight in my chest, and it felt good to have that weight gone.

Only a few minutes have passed, and the messenger girl had arrived along with the army's supposed 'best healer'. "Good evening, Colonel, Commanders, Security Officer." He greeted all the officials with a firm salute before walking towards me. "Void disease, eh?" I only nodded, I figured further talk was pointless. "Well, that wouldn't be a problem. I'll just expel the impure soul energy from your body."

"It won't hurt, I promise." he said, his tone clearly forced along with his smile.

The next moment, he placed a magic circle on the ground under my chair that glowed a bright white light. Soon after, I felt a tingling sensation. It was not making me ticklish, but it loomed upon me like a warm rain cloud. In other words, it was making me slightly uncomfortable. I looked down upon myself and saw my body glow bluish white markings that ran along my arms, my legs, and throughout my whole body.

I was looking at my own flow of soul energy, and as I glanced upon my right arm, I finally saw what it was on the inside. It was a black clump of dark matter. I revealed to myself the palm of my right hand and gazed upon the glowing mark. It writhed upon the presence of pure light as it tried to break free of the bondage of flesh that was my arm. And as I looked around the room, it was clear that everyone was in shock as well. They were not understanding what they were seeing.

Even the healer.

The healer gulped a big lump in his throat and began his procedure immediately. The circle glowed along with his incantations, and I just sat there knowing full well that he will fail eventually. I took a deep breath, and allowed my soul energy to flow. A bright glow emanated from my heart to my right arm along the soul markings.

I suspect that this was the treatment he promised me.

Although with all the efforts I've known trying to cure me of this curse, as soon as the glow reached the dark matter that ran along my right forearm, it dissipated into the black clouds that still resided in my body. "What...?" The healer whispered as the circle under me faded. "That can't be... That can't be right! I did everything right!" His eyes, his tone, his movement, all of them were in absolute disbelief.

But, seeing as he is regarded as the best, it was no surprise that this failure had hurt his own pride.

"Settle down, healer. You did what you could." Colonel Levon said, dismissing him with one arm. The messenger girl merely dragged him out whilst his mouth was still gaping open in shock and denial. "That's no ordinary disease..." I heard the healer mutter in his shock as he left the tent, his mind still in unbelief.

Though his efforts were outstanding to say the least, even the best of the best healer they could have in the army could not break the curse's code. Time and time again I knew I was basking in the glory of one of the greatest healers that ever existed in my lifetime, but even she, St. Paula, could not even figure out my affliction.

Let alone cure it.

Colonel Levon looked back at his papers, wrote something, then turned to all of us. "It is clear that what Private Von Zayne has in his body is not considered normal. At this point, we are open to any suggestions on what to do next."

Somehow, my anxiety showed itself to me again. I have a feeling that things, from here on out, won't go well for me. Whatever verdict that they would decide to follow through regarding my situation, I have no choice but to follow it. Although if I were to be perfectly honest, I would suggest I'd stay, but even I don't know the proper conditions to my request.

"Commander Lucio?" the Colonel turned to him, as he was scribbling onto one parchment. "It would seem that this condition of his will harm himself more than others, and since he is quite skilled with the blade, he has potential to be an asset to the army." My eyes lit up in excitement as soon as I heard Commander Lucio say it. But, like with all good things, there was a catch. "However, I am concerned about this so called 'blood lust' you have when you're under the effects of your condition..."

Everyone turned to me. If I don't answer appropriately, then there may be a chance that I would be discharged.

"Well, private? Would you mind explaining to us this 'blood lust' you would have?" with Colonel Levon's words looming above my consciousness, I had no choice but to answer from my memory. "I had this feeling of wanting to rip out the soul energy of the people around me. I did all I could to fight the feeling, but it was too strong that it decided to take my own blood. Luckily, the feeling was gone before anyone could get hurt..." I raised my head. Looking back, it was a strong feeling, a tendency I couldn't ignore. But, regardless, I fought it.

I had almost lost that struggle, and I think it's only going to get harder from here.

"How strong was this feeling?" the Colonel asked once more. "I can't quite put my finger on it, but it was enough to prevent me from moving out of my own free will. I had to use all of my strength to fight it back..."

Then, I heard several scratching noises on paper before Colonel Levon stood up to speak. "It seems that I have reached a conclusion. Private Von Zayne, you shall be continuing your training and you shall also keep your position here in the Sun Army. As for your condition, you shall still be monitored by a healer during training sessions. You shall be allowed to go around the Capitol for personal necessities but only with permission from your assigned healers, but this is still up for further notice. Does anyone in this room disagree with this verdict?"

Though the mumbling in the room was loud enough for me to hear, in the end, everyone nodded in agreement. The Colonel turned to me before speaking, "Since void season is five months away, we have yet to decide on the long-term course of action. We cannot afford healers to monitor a single soldier here. Casualties come in every day, and that might affect recovery rate. So for now, we are going to discuss and plan out your post after your training. You are dismissed for today."

And with that, I held back my smile and saluted him before going outside to internally celebrate.

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Walking back to my own tent, I felt alive. I felt grateful. Maybe I am just stretching the mood a little bit longer, but I can't help but feel refreshed when the Colonel said I was going to continue my life here in the army. Though, I know most people I know would give anything to quit being part of the army, but this is all I have.

Even if it is difficult, I would choose this than the life I had back at Paradise Prairie.

As I was walking back to my tent, the encampment was awfully quiet. Surely I did not spend a few hours locked up in the Colonel's office. For me, it felt like a few minutes of judgement. Though, I know this more than anyone, time can change whether you like it or not. And, I suppose in my case, it was faster than what I thought.

Only now did it occur to me that everyone else was finished with dinner at the banquet hall.

After a grueling week of training, everyone had set off for their tents to call it a day. Usually, all of the soldiers would be sleeping soundly on their beds right about now. But for me, this was not at all special. In fact, this week was easier than all the other times I've spent training. Especially during afternoon sessions. I can't really deny it any longer, but I have developed a bias towards the sword. Looking back, no one was able to defeat me in a duel, even if the swords were merely made of heavy wood to match the actual weight of the blade.

Though I don't feel too good about beating everyone this week...

I wonder if there is a specialized platoon for sword wielders, much like what happened with Sharice. Nevertheless, I am quite happy with how things turned out this week. It was nice being able to swing again after so long.

As my thoughts lingered on the satisfied week, my eyes and ears were greeted with something strange. I stopped, and then a constant high pitch whirring was all that I could hear. Focusing on my hearing, I was now able to barely hear my own clear breathing.

The night was dead silent.

I found it strange, though. All my life I was used to the comfortable silence in my house back in the middle of nowhere in Paradise Prairie. The silence, way back when, could lull you to sleep as the moonlight caressed your hand with its gentle light. However, this time, the silence was not a dead ringer. Cold sweat dripped from the top of my forehead, subconsciously telling my left arm to wipe away the discomfort. I looked around, the dark shadows of the tents that hung up against the bright shine of a crescent moon.

Suddenly, familiar heavy footsteps echoed from the West. As silently as I could, I walked toward the direction of the footsteps. The grass had silenced my footsteps, and I made sure I was not going to step on anything that could break the silence. I went through the maze of tents before coming to the edge on a tent on my right side before a pathway.

I looked from left to right, the moonlight lit the pathway clearly. Then, I heard the heavy footsteps again as a shadow swung by. I looked at the direction from where it was, the robe hung back and danced in the moonlight before, along with the figure, disappear back into the maze of tents.

I dove back in, but I never heard the footsteps again.

Something was off...