Chapter twenty-two: You caught me off guard

The following morning,

This is a weird feeling.

She stirs, finding herself draped partly across Thomas Shelby's chest. However, the first thing that she notices is he has his arms around her, holding her close to him. The weird feeling that's assaulting her is happiness and contentment. She felt peace as well. She hadn't felt that in a long time and she knew it was because of him.

He was a good man, she knew that before, but last night had really cleared things up for her. She smiles as she thinks back to last night, she'd wanted him and he hadn't taken advantage of her emotional state. Thomas hadn't gone too far with her, but oh, the things he could do to her with just his hands! She blushed as she recalled him unbuttoning two more buttons, exposing just the swell of her breasts. Even though she wanted him and his touch, he was still cautious while touching and kissing her in such intimate places on her. Her body warmed as she remembered his finger inside her, pumping firmly until she'd climaxed with his fingers inside her, one hand on her breast and his mouth on hers.

Afterwards Thomas excused himself to relieve himself of his discomfort while she lay there under the stars, completely sated and glowing. While the act had been physical, it had also been loving. He could have just taken advantage of her, but he'd shown great restraint. He'd come back, drawn another blanket over her, kissed her and told her to sleep, which she did. Her dreams weren't filled of the horror she was expecting. They were calming and soothing, ironically, she dreamed of Ireland, she could even hear the bagpipes playing in her dream. She was almost certain that she'd seen herself dancing with Thomas, her stomach swollen with their child, but who knows what dreams hold?

She reaches up, hesitantly before touching the scar on his cheek, from where Sabini had sliced him. Thomas turned slightly, holding her closer to him. She liked this; she'd never awaken with anyone holding her like this before. She felt so close to him, safe and secure. She never thought she could feel this way before with anyone.

Thomas opens his eyes and he smiles at her. "Good morning. How are you feeling?"

"Wonderful." He leans forward to kiss her. It's a gentle and brief kiss, but it causes her heart to still in her chest. He smiles as she continues to caress his face with her hand. "I could stay here all day."

"Hmm, I could too, but," he sits up, gently pulling her up with him. "I can't have you starve to death up." He helps her up to her feet. "Come on, I'll take you out for breakfast and then we'll go home."

"No." She shakes her head. "I don't want to go back yet."

"I meant my home." His blue eyes are piercing as he asks her pointedly. "Will you come home with me?"

"Yes." He smiles brightly as he wraps his arms around her waist. "I need to talk to Polly." He nods as if understanding what she needs to talk to her about. Him.

"Poll's a good one to talk to."

She bites her lip before stating. "Thank you." He looks slightly confused, so, she adds. "For last night." He understands her now. "You know me and what I want or need so well, it's almost frightening at times."

"Because I love you, Kate."

"I know." she wraps her arms around his shoulders. "You knew what I needed and…you didn't take advantage of me."

"Because, I want more with you and, you deserve more than that. I've seen everyone disregard you and your wants for so long, that, it's killing me not to give them to you." He exhales. "You're making me work for you, but, it'll be worth it if you'll let me love you for every day of our lives together."

She hesitates before stating. "After last night…I owe you to be as honest as you've been with me."

He shakes his head. "You owe me nothing."

"Thomas, I've never said…. 'I love you,' to anyone, even Emmett." He blinks in surprise. "There are…a lot of things, I never did share with him that I have with you." she inhales before confessing. "I'm scared Thomas." he immediately holds her tighter. "There's this… unknown force that keeps pushing me to you. I know that you're where I'm supposed to go, but I'm not certain. I wasn't expecting this." She can barely hold his gaze as she confesses. "You caught me completely off guard. I wasn't expecting someone like you, to just come into my life and change everything up."

"I know. I wasn't expecting someone like you in my life." He assures her. "Take your time with this Kate, trust your emotions, and don't worry about me. You've spent your whole life obeying and pleasing others. It's time for you to let go and just do what your heart is telling you."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I'd rather be hurt that watch you go through what you had to yesterday afternoon. You've been hurt enough. Take your sweet time; I'll be here for you when you're ready."

"Thank you." she inhales before saying. "I know that you love me, you've said and showed that many times. I want…to say that…I feel the same, but, I can't just yet." He doesn't react much, he possibly blinks, but he's peering through her, reading her heart. "When I do that, I want to be completely sure about you and us." He nods, understanding her. "I don't think anyone's loved me like you, nor do I think anyone ever will. When I do say those words to you, there will be no going back for me."

"That's enough for me to hear, now."

"Just… give me a little longer. Please"

"Take as long as you need. I want you to be as sure about this as I am." With that, he tilts her chin up and kisses her. She closes her eyes and surrenders to him. With this kiss, everything becomes clear in their intentions towards each other. There will be a future together at some point. There has to be.

As he breaks the kiss, she murmurs. "I'm going to have to tell Emmett, at some point, about this."

"After what he did to you," Thomas states. "he can wait a few days."

She smiles and nods. "Perhaps."

"I was tempted to shoot him, but decided against it."

"I'm glad you did. It shows you're starting to mature." He shoots her a look as she wraps an arm around his waist, smiling sweetly up at him. "Breakfast?"

"Yes." He leads her to the car. "By the way Kate," he says casually, but she knows he's going to say something embarrass her. "last night…you were good." She blushes as helps her into the car; she's not sure what to say. He closes the car door. "That was with just a finger." He touches her chin, turning her gently towards him. The look in his eyes causes the blood to freeze in her veins and she can't break the spell. "Imagine how perfect it'll be when it's just us, alone, behind closed doors."

Kate tried not to think about it, but the images and those feelings immediately flooded her. "Thomas."

He leaned forward and kissed her, causing her to moan. She can hear him firmly gripping the car door, probably because he knows that any little gesture or movement on either could change the situation rapidly. She didn't ask for this power over him, but she had it now, because she has him. And whether he knew it or not, he had her.

"Blankets." She moans as he breaks the kiss.

He frowns as he exhales deeply. "You're cold?"

"No." she points back to the field. "We forgot the blankets."

He laughs as he squeezes her hand. "Mind wandering when I kiss you? I'll have to up my game so your mind don't wander." She shakes her head as he saunters away to collect those blankets. Somewhere, a bird is chirping that she will be in for an interesting life with this man.

Shariebery: Good thing she's going to have a talk with Polly.

Idcam: Yes, the last two chapters have been filled with emotional turmoil. Her mother, will obviously not be accepting of this romance, but at least we can see and understand why she'd want her with Emmett. As for last night, yep, Thomas went there a bit with her, but I found their conversation to be rather hopeful in the morning.