"I'm standing here where, just a short while ago, where according to witnesses, the notorious criminal and cannibal Killer Croc received an unmitigated beating at the hands of the Justice League's newest hero, Captain Pi-"

Click.

"Oh man! You should've seen it! I was heading to my favorite bar, with the big psycho gets his ass plowed right through the wall! And I dunno how he got so big, but Captain Pimp proved he's a BAMF!"

Click!

"There are clearly some underlying issues for why Captain-"

CLICK!

Izuku groaned in frustration as he let the remote fall from his hands. "It's spreading!"

"Well, you can't say it's not un-earned…" Dick started to say from his spot on the sofa, until Izuku gave him the stink eye.

"Perhaps they'll realize it's a moniker made more in jest, Master Midoriya." Alfred said, as he entered the room, wearing a mechanic's coat. "I recall when Master Dick was Robin, several people thought his hero name really was 'Boy Wonder'."

"We agreed to never mention that…" Dick sing-songed over Izuku snickering.

"On a more pertinent note, your armor sustained only superficial damage. Unfortunately, neither myself nor Master Bruce know the alloy well enough to attempt any viable restoration. He is currently contacting Raven to see if she and Zatana can provide assistance."

Izuku groaned, remembering how the armor looked once Batman had helped him get out of it. "Raven's gonna kill me…"

"I'm sure the more superficial marks will buff out well, Master Midoriya." He held up a pair of pliers that still had one of Croc's teeth. "Possible choice for the collection, Master Dick? No cavities. Besides, she, along with Miss Jinx, commissioned this armor for your protection. She can hardly fault you for it accruing damage while doing its job. That would hardly be rational."

Izuku stayed silent, about to facepalm.

"If this is where a resurgence of your formerly low self esteem is going to come through with a comment of 'She chose me, how rational can she be?' need I remind you that she's far from being the only one to have done so. Also that I have a rolled up newspaper in my inside jacket pocket for when Ace misbehaves, and your nose is as good a target as his."

"Yes sir." Izuku quickly complied

"Ruff...!" As if on cue, the jet black german shepherd looked up from where he was napping and gave Alfred a whining bark of protest.

In the Batcave, Bruce brushed off spots where the paint...at least, it looked like paint...had chipped away from where teeth and nails had scratched at the armor. They'd already managed to pry out the teeth. Now it was just making necessary repairs.

Although, the damage was surprisingly minimal. Given how strong Croc is, that was saying something. Looking at this, Bruce idly wondered if it could take a blow from someone like Bane. Probably explained how Izuku could sound so calm on the way, despite having just tangled with one of Gotham's more dangerous criminals.

"J'onn? Could you link me up with my mom? I should probably tell her what happened…Yeah, Batman just picked me up...it's a long story….Thanks."

Bruce looked up. The batmobile wasn't soundproofed, and since he was keeping the speed down so Izuku didn't slide off the top - the armor currently made him too big to get inside - he didn't have much

"….Hey, Mom….I'm ok, all things considering...well, I kinda got into a fight….with Killer Croc….yeah, the cannibal. Well, he was gonna eat a girl! And didn't know if anyone else in the League'd get there in time...turns out my armor has a power mode, for when I need to hit hard...best he did was get a few teeth stuck in the joints, but aside from that, no contest...say what? No! Nononono...come on, not you too!...Mom! I am NOT 'Captain Pimp!'!...No, it's not funny! When I get my hands on the guy responsible...!"

Unfortunately, he had to focus back on the road and missed the rest of the conversation.

"Heh, that name's going to drive him nuts." He chuckled, getting a pair of needle-nose pliers to do a last go-over to get any remaining teeth. He'd just started when he heard a familiar whooshing hum behind him. "I'd say I have a door, but..." He looked back to see Raven, and Jinx step out from the glowing black silhouette.

"We heard, where is he?" Raven said.

"Upstairs. He's fine, just tired. Croc's the one who got the worst if it."

"We would've got here sooner, but we had to call Cyborg a ninny for forgetting to mention the time limit on the power." Jinx added. "Tamaranian fuel crystals probably weren't the best choice."

"Was that or asking for a mini lantern battery." Raven replied, as she checked over a couple of the claw marks. "Jerk ruined Izuku's paint job. Azarath Metrion Zinthos." She intoned, having her magic mend the visor before moving to the scratches. "This'll take a little while." Sparks flew as a black arc flickered between her fingers and the armor. "Need to be sure we don't weaken the metal"

Jinx added her own power, making sure the bad luck stayed away. "Say, wanna surprise him when we get finished?"

"Clothed or…?"

"Well, I am wearing my lucky thong."

"...and this is where I go do something out of earshot." Bruce quickly went to another part of the cave.

Izuku tilted his head at the tv show he'd found; two less-than-bright looking guys were beating the tar out of each other with rubber dildos attached to sword handles. Other guys nearby were almost peeing themselves in laughter. "Gotham has weird taste in entertainment…"

He flicked through a couple more channels, hoping to find something less...bizarre, until he caught the sound of someone on the stairs. A look back gave him the sight of a girl, looking a year or two older than him, coming down. As she got closer, he was better able to make out the tights and top of the Batgirl uniform she was wearing, the skintight material hugging her lithe frame.

It took him a second to match name and face; while that happened, she finally spied him, stopping in her tracks. "Uh, hi." He waved slightly, seeing she'd noticed he was there. What amounted to any hint of surprise on her face was quickly replaced with curiosity, evident when she tilted her head to the side. "You're Cassandra Cain, right? The new Batgirl. I'm Izuku Mido.."

He faltered when her eyes widened and she moved closer like a cat chasing its prey, pinning him against the couch with an arm on either side of his head. "M-midoriya…"

Cassandra leaned in until they were almost nose-to-nose, breathing in a little deeper than normal.

"Uh, B-Batman knows I'm here, if that's the problem. I rode with him, actually."

She responded by leaning more, almost nuzzling him, and inhaling deeply against the base of his neck.

Izuku went beet red at the action, noticing her chest - while not massive, it was still a respectable size for her frame - pressing up against his. Next thing he knew, she sat in his lap, straddling him. 'Don't get a boner, you just met her! Don't get a boner, you just met her!' quickly became his new mantra as she began running her hands along some of the scars on his chest.

He knew she suffered an even bigger lack of social experience then he ever had, so figured this was just a way she'd worked up to get to know someone new. Raven and the others had to have seen them, but apparently they didn't want to say anything.

Izuku shivered a bit as Cassandra slowly traced along one of the older burn marks on his stomach, studying it and a nearby scar like they were telling her a story. "Yeah...I'm not real proud of how I got these…" He said, a little embarrassed at the memory.

Or he was; that particular memory was blown aside when she suddenly grabbed his head and took him in a searing kiss, her tongue snaking past his lips while he was still processing things. "HMMF!?"

"Mmmmm…" Cassandra purred, grinding against him slightly. She held the kiss for a little longer, her tongue flicking around and teasing him, before she pulled away. Without wasting a second, she pulled off her top, revealing breasts the size of beefsteak tomatoes. Izuku's eyes widened at the sight. "Wow...those are as big as Raven's...wh-wait...ack! " He jumped when she started to pull at his sweatpants.

"Hey, Izuku, we're gonna order pizza. You ok with pepper-whoa!" Dick jumped when he walked back in. "Cass!" He ran over. "We talked about this! You don't strip gu-GRRRTTHHKKK!" He shrieked incoherently, thanks to the taser Cassandra jabbed him with.

"Dick! You ok?" Izuku called out as the former sidekick fell out in a twitchy heap, then turned his attention back to Cassandra. "Where'd you even have that!?"

She tossed it aside and resumed trying to get the sweats off him.

'BAP!'

Cassandra nearly fell off him when something swung into her face. It didn't look painful, but it more than startled both boy and girl.

"Miss Cain, neither the sofa nor the living room is the appropriate location for this." Alfred said sternly, still holding the newspaper he'd just used to bop her nose.

Cassandra tried to give him a defiant scowl, but faltered and settled for pouting.

"Oh man. Thanks, Alfred." Izuku gasped, moving to pull his pants back up. "I dunno why-"

"That is what we have bedrooms for, after all."

Cassandra stared at him briefly before her eyes lit up. "A-Alfred! Come on!" Izuku yelped, suddenly getting dragged to, and up, the stairs.

The man calmly watched the pair until they disappeared at the top. Now alone, he reached for the phone. "Hello, Master West. Alfred Pennyworth here...yes, I'm just calling to let you know...you just lost the bet." Alfred grinned at the groaning whine of defeat that followed.

"Rae?" Jinx spoke up, following Raven's spell to another scratch.

"Hm?

"When do you think that Bad Luck Negation hex I cast on our boy'll wear off?"

"I think 'will' is the more appropriate term, Jinx"

A/N: For those who keep saying it: No, Starfire won't be with Izuku. Neither is Blackfire

Omake:

Luther silently mourned the inability to tug on his hair in frustration. "Let's go over this one more time; after a month of testing...half the samples we used somehow canceled each other out. In turn, that left the Midoriya boy puking violently for several days, passing out multiple times in the process...and all we have to show for it is the fact he now has pointy ears, a furry left arm, and a slightly higher than normal enjoyment for seafood." He tried to quickly tamp down the urge to hurl his paperweight at the reedy-looking scientist who'd thought up this insane idea. "How much did this cost us again?"

"Um...before, or after Wonder Woman and Supergirl-OW!" He yelped when the paperweight bounced off his skull.

Luckily for him, Mercy talked Lex out of going for the letter opener next.