TWENTY-TWO
Sunday, 1 November 2020; twenty-one weeks
Hermione felt as though all the blood in her system had up and vanished, leaving her about ready to faint. It was a struggle to breathe as her heart pounded against the inside of her chest. She turned towards James and upon seeing the black stains from her makeup smeared about his face, she knew it was too late. That Sirius had already put two and two together.
"I'm sure this ought to be good," Sirius said, his tone bordering on giddy. "No wonder you're always declining my invitations to go out," he said, giving James a wink.
"Sirius-" James started, warning in his tone.
"Relax, will you?" he returned, rolling his eyes. "I've had my fair share of younger women. Who am I to judge?"
Hermione put her hand on her stomach when the baby chose that moment to stomp around as though he meant to kick his way out. She reached behind her to use the counter to steady herself, but in doing so, knocked the bowl of eggs off of it. It fell to the floor, sending raw scrambled eggs and bowl fragments everywhere. Both men moved towards her; James to take one her hands in his, the other finding the small of her back to guide her to the table while Sirius went straight to the mess she'd created and began to clean it.
"I'm sorry," she whispered as he dropped into a crouch at her side. "About the bowl. I'll replace-"
"I don't care about the bowl, Hermione," he said as he squeezed her hand. "Are you-"
He stopped when she dissolved into a fit of laughter, his face contorting into a look of confusion. She had seen the marks on his face when he walked in; it was what had sparked this whole mess, but seeing again… It was too much. "Did you even look in the mirror this morning?" she asked, holding her stomach as the hysterics continued.
"Hermione-"
"To be fair, I've had my theories for awhile," Sirius interrupted, a light smirk about his lips when Hermione's gaze shifted over to him. He set the hand towel he had used to clean the floor in the sink and inclined his head at them. "I'll give you two a moment," he added before taking his leave, the downstairs half bath door closing a few moments later.
"I'm okay," she said, her voice light as she looked back at James. "We might as well just tell him."
"It's none of his business."
"It's not," she agreed, tightening her grip on his hand. "But I'd rather have him hear the truth rather than leave him to form his own thoughts. Wouldn't you?"
James took a deep breath and let it out slowly before giving a casual shrug of his shoulders followed by a nod of approval. He got to his feet then, his hand sliding away from hers. "How much do you want to tell him?" he asked, eyes landing on her stomach.
"Whatever you're comfortable with," she replied. "He seems to be taking it rather well." A little too well, the more she thought about it. Sirius had said he'd known for awhile; did that mean they weren't as careful as they thought they had been? Was there a chance that anyone else had started to suspect?
James nodded as he scrubbed at his chin. He moved away from her, inspecting the part of the floor Sirius had just wiped up. "He missed some."
"I can-"
"You stay put," he interrupted, shooting her a look that kept her in her seat. "I'll be right back," he said, heading upstairs to the laundry room so he could get a few more towels.
In his absence, Sirius returned. He shot her an apologetic look as he took the seat next to her at the table. "You don't have to give me details; it's not any of my business, but is it serious between you?"
She swallowed hard and gave a slight shake of her head. "It's barely anything," she whispered, watching the concern that flickered in the depths of Sirius' gaze. "Why?"
"I told you, Kitten," he said, giving her a smile that didn't really reach his eyes. "I've been noticing for awhile." He drummed his fingers along the edge of the table and sighed. "I haven't seen him look at anyone that way since Lily."
Nothing could have prepared her for that. All she could do was stare at him in awe, her lips parted, breath quickening. She was still staring at him, unable to say anything as James returned. She continued to stare at the space Sirius had been, even after he vacated it so he could help James not only clean up, but pick up where she left off in cooking breakfast.
Saturday, 7 November 2020; twenty-one weeks
By the time Sirius had left that morning after Halloween, they had told him the whole story. He knew that not only were they more or less involved, but that the baby she was carrying was his. She could tell that he was apprehensive at best when it came to the topic of adoption, though neither of them told him how that last meeting had gone. He expressed his concern for the two of them, but then assured them both that he would keep their secret to himself. As he officially parted ways, he reminded her if she needed anything, he was never more than a phone call away.
Shortly after he left, James suggested they go get her car. Since it wouldn't have felt right to go over to Harry and Ginny's and leave without saying hello, they went in for a bit. However, their intention of a quick visit turned out to last the rest of the day as they were roped into cleaning up. Granted, just like with the set up before the party, Hermione found herself on the couch watching everyone else mill about.
By the time they went home, it was well after dinner and Sirius' words in James' absence that morning had taken their toll. Whether James hadn't remembered she had said she was ready to talk or if he sensed that that was no longer the case, he didn't bring it up. Instead, he said nothing as she walked away to take a shower and go about her nightly routine.
They retained their silence when she came to him later that night, finding herself unable to sleep without him at her side.
And just like that, they had settled into their routine once more. The one where they were stuck in limbo. Where they had plenty of time to talk, but neither one could find it within them to start the conversation. But despite their inability to communicate, they still found it easy, if not strained, to coexist.
Despite Tuesday having been Sirius' birthday, the guys waited until the weekend to celebrate. She discovered this when Sirius and Remus had come over to James' as the meeting point and invited her along to dinner on Saturday.
"No thanks," she said, giving him a smile. "You guys go on and enjoy your guy time. Knowing you, I'm sure you'll go to a bar afterwards and I-"
"Exactly," he said, a wicked smirk on his lips. "Who else better to be a designated driver than one who can't drink?"
"You planned this all out, didn't you?"
"You know me so well," he said, tossing her a wink before looking around to see that they were alone in the hallway. "Have you two figured out what-"
"No," she interrupted, reaching for her jacket coat rack by the door. "There's nothing to talk about," she added, keeping her back to him. She heard him inhale and whirled around, her finger pointing at him, signaling for him to stop. "Don't."
He studied her for a moment and then nodded. "Fine, I'll leave it alone, but for the record, the two of you are being idiots."
"What would you know?" she asked as she moved passed him towards the living room where James and Remus were. "You're not exactly the best person to be doling out relationship advice."
His smile sent off a few warning bells deep within her mind, but she ignored them. "You're right. My apologize. I'll stick to what I know best then," he said, watching her as she poked her head around the archway and beckoned for the other two to follow.
"I can't believe you let him talk you into this," Remus said as they filed out the door so she could lock it behind them.
"It wasn't hard," she said, smiling at him. "Just say the word food and I'll pretty much do whatever you ask," she added. With that, she unlocked her car and they all piled into it. Once she turned the engine over and put her seatbelt on, she locked eyes with Sirius in the rearview mirror and asked, "Where to?"
Just as she predicted, as soon as they were done with dinner, Sirius suggested they go to a bar. And for as much as she would rather be in the silence that was her current residence, their time at the bar was proving to be much less awkward than dinner hand been. Sirius, being the sly little devil he always was, had taken the seat next to Remus before James could, putting her and James on the same bench for dinner.
But it was easy to pass off the awkwardness as it being her first real time hanging out with the three of them. Typically, before getting knocked up and moving into James' house, the only time she saw these three were around the holidays. Since they had been friends longer than she had been alive, it was hard to find her rhythm with them as a group, let alone individually.
She refused to think about the fact that the last time her and James had shared a meal outside of the house was when he had taken her on a very real date that was supposed to have been fake.
At the bar, it was easier to ignore all of that since other friends of Sirius' had joined them. For the most part, she was able to hold her own, conversing with anyone who paid any attention to her. James had tried to linger in the beginning, but she assured him she was fine and was quick to shoo him away. As the bar became more crowded, Hermione slipped to the outskirts, focusing on her phone rather than the people around her. There were only so many times she could answer baby questions without having a real answer to give and she was getting antsy with all the people around.
It was a good while later that she heard a laugh and did a double take upon finding the source. She wasn't sure how she had heard it or what about it that drew her attention, but the moment her eyes landed on the scene, her heart sank into her stomach. James was at the bar beside Remus, but he was turned away from her, facing a blonde on the stool next to him. It was the blonde's laughter that reached her ears and when her hand laid across James's forearm, Hermione was taken aback at the jealousy that roared to life inside of her.
"You know," Sirius said as he sank down into the chair beside her, his arm settling around her shoulders. "You wouldn't be feeling this way if you would just talk to him."
Her head snapped towards him, eyes narrowing in a glare. "He's free to do what he wants," she said, the tone of her voice surprising her as much as the jealousy. She forced her eyes back down to her phone, wincing as she heard the laugh again.
"If I were more qualified to give relationship advise, I might tell you you're full of shit."
She shrugged his arm off of her and leaned away from him. "Good thing you're not," she muttered.
He sighed, waiting a moment before starting to give more advice she didn't ask for. "Hermione-"
"What?" she asked, turning to look at him again, her eyes sliding over James and the other woman again. "It doesn't matter, Sirius. Just because you're handling it this way doesn't mean anyone else will. How do you think everyone else will react when they find out? Harry-" She pressed her lips together as she watched his expression harden from the way her voice cracked. "Just… Leave it alone. Please."
With that, she got up and took off through the crowd towards the exit. She wouldn't leave without them, but she just needed a moment to herself. Needed the crisp cold air of winter approaching to work its magic and calm her down. She paced in front of her car, muttering to herself about how stupid she was to feel this way. That she had no right to get jealous when he wasn't-
"Everything okay?"
She whirled around to the sight of James having followed her out into the parking lot. "What's her name?" The question tumbled past her lips before she could help it and she forced herself not to cringe at the pettiness in her own voice.
"What?"
"The blonde. Should I stay at Harry's tonight so you can entertain your new friend or-"
"Stop," he demanded, raking a hand through his hair. "It wasn't like that."
"Oh really? So she wasn't trying her hardest to get you to-"
"She was, but it doesn't matter. I was being polite."
"Why?"
His palm slid down his face in disbelief as he stared at her; the urge to yell plain as day in his eyes. "I didn't mean to do that with you there."
She snorted. "So if I wasn't around you would have, what? Brought her home?"
"No." The finality of his tone made her breath catch in her throat. "Remus was sitting right next to me. What would you have had me do?" He took a step forward, his jaw clenching as he stared down at her. "You backed out of the adoption, but you won't talk to me about what comes next. There's clearly something between us, but you're too scared to even have a simple discussion with me about it." Another step; she could feel the heat of him through their clothes now. "I'm scared too, Hermione, but I'd rather be scared together. Wouldn't you?"
Tears began to leak down her face, the cold air slowing the rate of which they flowed. "I don't know," she whispered, leaning back against the driver's side door of her car. "I know that isn't what you want to hear, but I really don't know, James." She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, thinking of the conversation she had had with Theo just that morning.
"Whatever it is, Hermione, talk to me. Please. I can't take this anymore."
"I've been talking to Theo."
His brow furrowed for a moment. "Nott? One of the-"
She nodded. "I think it was too soon after learning the gender to be signing papers. I've been rethinking the adoption. I told Theo I might want to meet up this coming week. I just wanted to talk to you first."
His lips parted to say something, but the blonde from earlier chose then to come out with a few others, their car parked far too close to Hermione's for her liking. "There you are," she said, smiling widely at James. "Hi, I'm Karina."
"Hermione," she returned, not trying in the slightest to sound friendly.
"Is this your daughter? You said you had a kid about her age."
Her laugh was bitter as she fished for her keys from her purse. "He has a son," she corrected before looking at James. "Which, coincidentally, has a house where I'll be staying at for the night," she said, wrenching the door open and locking herself in the car before he could even try to stop her. Without looking at him again, she drove to Harry's, leaving them to figure out how to get home on their own.
A/N: I promise you, THIS WAS THE LAST HURDLE. Love you all!